PWWIlte "PppNlwPIW" ? igpaftjj. .ISHED FEBBUABY 8, 1S46 No. 130. r"njeml at rtttsniirg TostoHce r, lbS7, a second-class matter. :s Office Corner Smithfield and Diamond Streets. Xooms and Publishing House md So Diamond Street, in Sew Dispatch Building. V ATVF.inT5I"R OFFICE. ROOM 76. E BUILDING. NEW YORK, wherecnm of THE DIM-ATL'Ilcan always be found. ! -.flverlisers appreciate the coincidence, rrtlsfrs and fne ml" or THE DIsl'ATCH. ew York, are alo made w elcitine- SPATClltsTtavforlimsnlentBrrntaW. d-wt-t. -V-r lorl. and IT -ire d'I'Vprm. ynce. icftcn anymt trhn Itnt. been dtsap a hotel news stand run obtain if. EBMS OF TnE DLM'ATCII. AGE riiEE IK THE TMTr.D STATES. srATcn. One Year 8 (il sr-vTcn. I'er Quarter..., ICO TO srATCU. One Month. TATCH Including frunday, I rear.. 10 00 PATCH, lncludinc "-undav, 3 mths. .XTrn, Including -"unil-,. lm'th.. Jsr-ATCH. One Year DISPATCH. One Vcar 150 10 ISO 13 H.T DISPATCH is delivered hv carriers at Tweek, or. including feundaj Edition, at rweck. (.suo of Til K MIM'AIOIl cont.ii. a s, made up or THREE TARTS, on the part of Carriers 'Agents, neift or ensno-rs to supply patrons ,t nn,,lff ninlipr ftlinrtltl be nromnv i M to thi odlce. jf try corJnbutors should keep conies of If compensation s desired the pi ice mux he named. TJte cour'i of re xeded manuscripts xrill Ire extended tips for that purpose are inclosed, but r of TnrJVsPATat ttiR vnder no cir rsJbf responsible jori'c care of vnsolic scripts. .GE All persons -ilio mall tho Issue of The Dispatch to friends ear In mind the faet that the post eon is Two (3) Cents. All double, Ie number copies of The Dispatch a 2-ccnt stamp to insure prompt SOURG. SUNDAY. JANUARY 3. THE BIGHT CHOICE. )isrATCn lias, from tlic inception 'hio Senatorial contest, expressed idence that tlie Republicans of te will not commit the criminal of displacing a statesman of na- .racter and international fame by urn. The caucus yesterday shows fidencc to have been well-founded, indeed, corroborated by the re e speech r.f ex-Governor Foraker vening before, the most charitable tion of which is that it was the uff cf a candidate whose whole based on the belief that audacity ly quality that wins in politics, r Sherman, whose re-election tc Steve thus count among the cer is to-day the statesman of most able qualities for service in the of any man in active politics, the Republican leaders the only can be placed above or on a h him in experience and knowl- real statecraft is Mr. Blaine. f are not rivals in any sense, :ennans Presidental aspirations tter of the past while Mr. Blaine's es not include the Senatorial or the Republicans of Ohio to re nan most thoroughly equipped torial usefulness, in favor of a rocket like Foraker would have uvalent to declaring that states , experience and thorough knowl financial legislation are not de shaping the policy of thcRepub ty in Congress. isPATCn was very well assured Ohio Republicans would not be Df that gagantic error. The ac 'estcrday's caucus indicates that still wise enough to preter the ties of ability and experience in latonal representative. IGI1T nOCK STATISTICS. r : recently read before the Xa beral Club, of London, by Prof it Owens College, on the eco effects of the eight-hour laboring ains some very important and in statistics. The question is ie reduction of the hours of iht hours, would mean a re the amount of labor performed, ,'mplishment of an equal or iount of labor by reason of the ( indition of the workman, .aji it is now beyond dispute that eilon in the hours of labor from .unber of twelve or thirteen daily n iiour system resulted in actually igthe productive power of the the general belief is that the hauge to eight hours would in ecrease inthe output of each Tt is evident that there must be .nt where the loss of time balance the gain in vigor of the nan, and while this will neces - w ith different occupations, it ally accepted belief that in .a! brandies it is about nine lours. Advocates of the eight tern have accepted that idea, in jument that if the eight-hour 6 adopted, it will require twenty of laborers to do the same work, give employment to the unem Employers have taken the same ith the assertion that they are give eight hours pay to eight irk. Prof. Munrs has done has been to ie statistics of the hours of labor .'ut, in six mining districts siffprising result that the output rfciner in each district increases bts in inverse ratio to the num 4 worked. In South Stafford! 'e the underground laborer 1 8 hours per week, the average of coal is the highest, and so rough the list to Glamorgan i the number of hours is in ter cent to 51.7 hours per week, production is decreased over If this difference appeared 'istics of but two districts it e wholly to circumstances such h'of vein or the hardness of , but when the same result six districts it gives a very ucation that in the coal mining England the reduction of hours ean a reduction of output. C Munro goes further than this :s the sinking showing that .duction of hours nor higher jrease tins ability of an industry te in the irnarkcts of the world. h 1S90 exported one-sixth of her uot, a large portion of which ranee and Germany, both coun esslng large coal fields of their s to English coal miners arc to the French and German ours of labor are considcr t England can produce coal jeB more cheaply than Franco or Germany, for while aei'h?r country could ship coal to England in 1890, England shipped eight and a quarter million tons to those two countries. This again, might by itself be attributed to differences in the fields. But when it is taken in connection with the facts alieady quoted, it affords a statistical basis for the productive advantages of the eight hour day that is very impressive. If the same showing can be corroborated In other cases, strikes are not needed to introduce the eight-hour system. It will introduce itslf by the inexorable logic of demon stration. A DEFIANT OTJIXAW. "With revolutionists who seek to pull down the Government of Porfirio Diaz by overt acts confined exclusively to Mexican territory, the United States has nothing to do, except to express a purely abstract opinion that they have undertaken quite an arduous task. But witn revolutionists who assemble armed forces on United States territory, who defy the laws of this countrv and resist, the United States , troops, this Government has a great deal i to do. This is exactK" the position in which the forces of Harza have put themselves. "Whether heis to be ranked as revolutionist or bauritf in Ills position toward Mexico, he occupies only one position toward the Unitd States, lie has taken armed pos scsjftn of United States territory, he has defied United States law and has com- nntted act.s of war against the United "States. Asainst such defiance the Gov ernment lias only one course to take, and that is summary and stern suppression. The opinion credited to a Government official at "Washington last week that the United States had a much more serious and pressing matter to deal with in this case than in the Chilean dispute has been amply substantiated by the event. The violation of its territory by armed outlaws who at tack United States troops calls for much more urgent measures than a doubtful row between sailors on shore, which a friendly government is investigating by its regular judicial methods. The full strength of the United States Government should be exerted, if neces sary, to make its authority respected throughout the entire territory. It is necessary to say that the administration does not seem to have promptly recog nized the necessity of adequate force to support its authority. The moment it was evident that Garza would defy United States law, not only should all the United States troops have been concentrated, but State troops should have been called upon to such number as to wipe out any outlaws who undertake to resist the United States by force of arms. The same steps must be taken now, but it would have been far more likely to produce a healthy respect for the authority of our Government if the suppression had been prompt and severe upon the first act of resistance. It is not as a rebel against Mexico that the United States must suppress Garza; it is that he has made himself an outlaw and rebel against the United States. IAGHT FISOM CHILE. In addition to the note from the Chilean Government published the other day, which was taken as an indication that Chile is using the judicial methods pro vided by her laws to punish the attack on the sailors of the Baltimore, evidence to the same effect is afforded by several columns of official Chilean communica tions on the same subject These docu ments are not only important as showing that the Chilean Government adopted the policy of thorough judicial investigation and punishment of the offenders at the in ception of the dispute, but are still more significant in the reflex light which they throw on the representations which have been made to the United States concern ing its attitude. The Chilean position as stated in these communications is that the riot broke out in a quarter of Valparaiso where such con flicts are not unknown; that as soon as the police knew of it, they hastened to the scene and quelled the riot; that they took the American sailors in charge and re leased them when they learned of the cir cumstances; that they did their utmost to afford protection to all peaceful persons; and that this is testified to by all the wit nesses from the Baltimore with two exceptions. This, of course, may be an ex parte view of the case against which Captain Schley's and Mr. Euan's version is entitled to a hear ing. It is with regard to the attitude of the Chilean Government toward investiga tion and punishment and the attitude of our own representatives "toward Chile that the correspondence is most signifi cant. "When the Chilean answer to the note of the United States Government on the Valparaiso riot was published, The Dis patch suggested that there might be reason to inquire into the strict accuracy of Mr. Egan's summary both of the com munications of our Government and of the reply of the Chilean Government. The reference in the Chilean answer, to the note of our Minister, as "formulating de mands and making threats," which the instructions of our Government did not in any way do suggested a doubt as to whether Mr. Egan's person ality might not have been imposed on the communication, and that in turn raised the question whether the same in fluence might not have made the Chilean reply appear less satisfactory than it really was. The documents just published give no new light on the first doubt, except such as is furnished by their confirmation of the second. A comparison of Mr. Esan's summary of the Chilean reply of October 27 with the full text of that docu ment shows that while he carefully in cluded in his summary all the phrases that would produce an unfavorable impression in this country, he omitted to telegraph those which showed a desire to do justice. Among the somewhat important features of the reply which were thus omitted is a statement that the Chilean Minister "does not doubt the sincerity, rectitude and ability" of the investigation held on board the Baltimore "in reference to the lament able occurrence;" but that it is his duty to await the investigation held under the Chilean law; that "from the day it (the riot) took place, the administrative and judicial authorities respectively have oc cupied themselves in discovering the par- J ties who were to blame and who should be punished in the very deplorable event;" the explanation that the procedure under the. judicial system of Chile up to that point was secret, and for that reason the department "has no knowledge and can not transmit the facts concerning the crime:" and the promise that as soon as it has the information "the undersigned will have the honor and the obligation to trans mit It to the Envoy Extraordinary and Minister Plenipotentiary of the United States, whose Government and whose people have never disregarded nor ever will disregard in other countries with which they ma"naiu friendly relations the prerogatives and rights of sovereignty." MMsMsMMsMgMssfiMrMEsHMairiida w ?HJ57V?arat',,,9,lTTFa f.r7 &4 MfiS'Wi" 7 : .1 t -- s'!Sy5TlHi -V.r . -r5?- 3',wtWr"3?K!3fc'-flig It will be seen that these paragraphs change the character of Senor Matta's note from the very unsatisfactory tone which Mr. Egan's version gave it to a mod erately satisfactory one. The conclusion which this fact points out is strengthened by other features of the correspondence. It is shown that 1 from the very inception of the trouble the Chilean authorities were active in investi gating the affair with a view to punishing the guilty parties. It now appears that by three separate communications on October 27, October 30 and November 3, the Chilean authorities assured Mr. Egan of the prosecution of the investigation under the Chilean laws and of the punishment of the guilty whoever hey might be, and explained the delay consequent on an in vestigation in which so many witnesses were concerned; that on the latter date Judge of Crimes Foster Recabarren in formed Mr. Egan of the arrestiof "several of the individuals to whom is attributed a direct participation in these occurrences, two of them having confessed;" and that on November G and 9 the police authori ties invited the co-operation and assist ance of Captain Schley, the American Minister and American Consul in produc ing evidence as to the riot. Considering that during the interval be tween these communications and the pres ent date everything coming to the United States through the medium of its repre sentative there has reported the conduct of the Chilean Government as defiant, while all mention of these communications has been suppressed, the conclusion is too clear fo require much elaboration. There is certainly grave reason for inquiring into the motive for this remarkable policy of embroiling two nations by a distinct suppression of important facts in the negotiation. TIIE E'HIIELI.ISHSIENT OF CITIES. A recent number of the Social Economist of New York devotes space to the ques tion of improving and beautifying that city. Its plan is fcr the organization of a society which shall systematically work for schemes of embellishment that shallbe uniform in design and lasting in character. Tho importance even in the commercial sense of attractiveness to cities should make itself apparent. Pans, Florence and Vienna, and even Berlin to a great de gree, owe a large share ot their greatness to the pleasures of life secured by mu nicipal adornment In this country cities like Cleveland and Detroit vie with Pitts burg in rank of population without half of its industrial advantages, because life is pleasanterin them to people who can select their place of residence. It is not so many years since it was proveftial of Pittsburg that it was a good place to make money in, in order to go and live some where else. The last year has in respect to the smoke nuisance shown a return to the old conditions. In that light there is a local application to the remark concerninc New York in the article referred to that "there are few if any cities possessing so many natural advantages and hardly any city for whose beautifying and improvement its Govern ment and inhabitants have done so little." This with an exception for the last few years of the natural gas period has a good deal of force in Pittsburg, and the need of more efficient street cleaning, street pav ing, and street lighting, and finally the too general absence of shade trees, makes it seem as if the article must have been written with a view to fitting our own city as well as the metropolis. There is one point, however, which Pittsburg must attend to before these in order to secure th'e quality of attractive ness. After natural gas rid us of our smoke we began to see what might bo done in the way of making the city beauti ful. The smoke has returned, and the first step toward making life in our com munity attractive must be an organized effort to secure the abatement of the nuisance. IRELAND'S DANGER. The explosion of dynamite in Dublin Castle, which with the usual fatuity of such plots killed no one, so completely serves the purposes of the Tory party as to suggest a theory of a factitious plot gotten up to create an English revulsion on which the Salisbury Cabinet could hold the gen eral election and ride into power for an other seven years' term. But that theory is offset by the patent fact that the Irish factions are already playing the Tory game so completely thatit would be wholly un necessary for the Cabinet to stoop to so low and dangerous a trick. It is the historical weakness of Ireland that its factions and the nature of its pol itics lead it to spoil its best chances when they are on the eve of success. This posi tion might be supported by examples from the conflicts of the Irish chieftains from the days of Henry IL down to the division between O'Connell and the young Irish leaders at the middle of the century. But it is sufficient to the present purpose to point to the ruin of the Kilmainham treaty by the Cavendish murder, and the way in which the commanding position of the Home Rulers is now being wasted and de stroyed by the factional quarrel that par alyzes the entire movement and turns the minds of the physical force men to dynamite plots. If anything can strengthen the Tory interest in England, the conjunc tion of factional fights among the Home Rulers and renewed activity among the dynamiters is calculated to have that effect If wise counsels do not soon lead the Irish leaders to the harmonious renewal of the constitutional agitation, then may God save Ireland; for no less power can doit Ijf the death of Dr. John Douglas yester day a notable citizen passed away one who took an active and prominent part in the affairs oi the community tor nearly 40 years. Dr. Douglas was a man of distinguished learning, and of such active mind that in three ptofessions he reached honorable prominence. As pastor of tho Oak Alley Reformed Presbyterian Church he was noted for hU vigorous utterances in the pulpit. Later be was one of the writing editors of Tun Dispatch; and during tho last eight years or his life he was a member of the Allegheny county. bar. Alike as a thinker and as a speaker and writer Dr. Douglas was one of the most forceful men of his times. So long as the prophecies were solely on the side of a hard winter the outlook for the season's ice crop was dubious. But now that tho icemen have taken to prophesying an ice famine for next year, things are about even, and we stand a fair chance for tho regular supply of solid gelidity. The business failures" reported by R. G. Dun & Co. lor last year made the highest to tal on record 'for some years, being 12,273, against 10,907 in 1890. This increase is, how ever, offset in the total liabilities involved, which is a round $189,000,000 in both years. The average liabilities are therefore about 20 por cent lower, while the distribution of business disasters shows a material decrease in the East, and A remarkably heavy in cieasc in tho South. The showing' is not so good as might be, nor as bud; but it permits us to hope lor better things this year. It is noted that a starter has signed a contract with two lashl.'nablo race-course THE PZlTSBTTRG' "DISPATCH, associations in tho East to start race-horses j for them at the salary of $25,000 a year. Hhe functions of starter consist chiefly of swearlnc at the jockeys, which is the most remunerative profanity on record. The rest of the sweating at race courses is done after the races are over: but the money that is paid for that relief of the busted, helps pay the stipend of the high-salaried swearer. It is reported that Governor-elect Flower had a bowl of punch on his table on New Tear's Day that triumphantly vindicated him from the charge or tho anti-temperance organizations that his habits are not suffi ciently convivial to suit the political powers of Xew York City. A genius in Chicago has struck the grand idea for the World's Fair of n mammoth statue of Columbus, enlightening the New World, whoso light can bo perceived from Milwankee on the north and Detroit on the east. Of course, no truo Chtcasoan would propose that its light should illumine be nighted St. Louis. The idea is a novel one and Chicago should put up tho statue. As the first step she should at once begin put ting up the money for it. Speaker Crisp's friends are still find ing plenty of precedents lor the "turning down" of Mills. But wnen 31111s turns up again with a complete tariff bill fiom his Committee on Commerce, thej' will regard the affair as entirely nnptoccdented. The New York Sun says the New Year was inaugurated in that city with a "dyna mite of pound and hurricane ot blnst." As Pittsburg permitted tho same period to glide in without more than a jnodciatein dnlgence in the practices of making night hideous, it is pleasant to note one instance in which we at e further advanced than tho metropolis toward tho abandonment of tho medieval practice ot senseless din. Sin Udwin Arnold's statement that the Japanese vocabulary contains no words in which to swear at another, may be deemed an adequate explanation of tho enthusiasm with which tho Japanese have adopted the English language and civilization. "Andrew Carkegic's railroad company Is to build a now arm into West Virginia,"' remarks the Washington Post. Which is Mr. Carnegie's raihoad company, esteemed co temporary? The Information should he tnade public in order that our free trade friends may not bo misled into accepting passes over such an obnoxious line ot trans portation. ONE strong indication that the Presi dental election is ten months away is af forded by the fact that the esteemed Chicago Tribune has got its pciiodical freo trade lit on it for the winter season. The ofler of a $5,000 prize for the best poem for the World's Fair, is thought by tho New York Sun to contain tho danger of a tidal wave of poetry calculated to strike terror to the human heart. As an offset to that, it contradicts the report that Sir Edwin Ar nold was to have tho monopoly of poesy for that inspiring, though not wholly poetic event. It is reported ihat the grip has had a tussle with the indomitable Ben Butler, and in confidence, that universal conqueror is confessing that it has found one man whom it could not daunt. There are grounds for suspicion that the parliamentary rules of the Hgn. Thomas B. Becd will come in very hanay to the Demo crats in tho upper branch of tho New York Legislature this winter. As a corollary tho famous rules are rapidly losing all their popularity with the Bcpublicans of New York. Perhaps this does portend some real winter after all, and' Uncle Jerry's Repub lican weather may bo all right in tho end. The public is kept duly informed as to whether E. M. Field eats or docs not. The peculiarity of tho case consists of the fa ct that he has something to cat when he wishes to, while tho question whether any of his victims aro not eating becauso they cannot is entirely too commonplace for notice. FATORITES OP FAME. Governor Boies, of Iowa, is very ill with the grip. Gladstone has shrunk over two inches in stature since ho was in middle life. TnERE is a clergyman in New Mexico who struggles along under the name of the Bev. Innocent Wolf. King George, of Greece, who for some timo lias been sick with smaHpox, has lecov ered from his illness. Jla H. H. Bancroft; the famons his torian of the Pacific coast, is spending the winter in Mexico with his family. Dr. Cyrus Adlf.r, the delegate of the Chicago Exhibition to Turkey and the East, has left London for the United States. The new Duke of Devonshire owns 193, OOOaciesof land, lying 14 counties. The rent roll of his estate amounts to $S30,000 a year. General Armstrong, who has been dangerously ill in Boston, expects to be well enough to leturn to his school in Hampton in a few days. A bevy ot American maidens, including Miss Mattio Mitchell, tho fiancee of the Due do la Rochefoucauld, assisted Mrs. Beid at the New Year's reception in Pari". The early career of Robert Louis Steven son i as a great disappointment to his fam ily, who expected that tho rare talent he displayed in his youth would win him dis tinction in the law, for which he had been trained. Mr. George S. Batchellor, United States Minister resident at Lisbon, has gone through London on his way to resume his post. He called on many of his personal and diplomatic friends. Secretary Elkins has in "West Vir ginia .1 houe which is described as one of the finest country residences In the South. It contains 90 ooins and commands a superb view of tho smrounding couutry, which is exceptionally beautiful. "W. E. HALE, of the Hale Elevator Com pany, who was tho pioneer in the introduc tion of passenger lifts in business buildings in the city of the Woila's Fair, has resigned ths Presidency of tho company in order to enjoy a well-earned leisure. WAITED THIETY TEAES. A Courtship That Was of Long Standing In the Far West. San FnANCtsco, Jan. 2. Nearly forty years ago Mr. J.ickson, who was then but a school lad in an Illinois town, had for a chum a boy about his own age named Robert Walker. Tho bonds of friendship weie not lessened ns they grew to manhood, and when Walker fell In love with pretty Nellie Rice and started West to make a homo for his future wife, Jackson clasped his hand and bade godspeed. Walker first settled in Sacra mento, but fortnno enmo not, and, despair in ot success, he drirtod to Aiizoua. There he became associated with a band of In dians, who accepted him as a'protege, and seeing a chance for a tutuic Intel est in the rich mineral lands of that section, he de cided to cast his lot among them. The"years passed on, but Walker's star did not rise. In the mcantlmo he had kept up a steady cot -respondence with his fiancee In Illinois, who, true to her vow, awaited the call of her lover. After Walker had spent 30 years in isola tion from civilization the old chief of the tribe died and the Indians by unanimous choice selected their protege to a-oinne the management of their affairs. This prac tically put Walker in the possession or two rich gold mines and in n short time he real ized $5)0,000 from his acquisition. The faith ful fiancee- was at unco summoned to Arizona and the two weio wedded. Their bliss was of short duration. In less than a year Walker contracted pneumonia and ilied. By his will all the piopertv of the rich mino owner was leit to tho widow. She was not left long to enjoy it In peace, how ever, for Walkei's lelatlvesin a short time artcrhis deathlio:ina contest or the will. They claim that Mis. W.ilkcr, nee Rice, Is not the early love of the deceased, hut nn adventuress, who has usurped the place of the true wiienud spirited her away. Mr. Jackson, therelorc, ns tlloold friend of Mr. Walker, has goueto Aiizoua to decide the matter. SUND'AT; JANTJABX NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS. Excuses Two Men Offered Tor Not Keeping Theirs People Who Enjoy the Old Jokes A Clown's Experience An Englishman Laughing in Hades. WRITTKN FOB THE DISPATCH. 1 This being the season of the year for making great resolutions, I've gone into the busines-i myself to my usual extent that is, I've ie-adopted all those of the past few years and finished by u Ann resolve to keep them. Individual resolutions are lil:o those orcongress nnd other legislative bodies they're not worth tho talk it takes to tell them, unless they're boosted along by a eood strong enacting elauio. In this respect they also resemble a donkey any mention of Congress always brings donkeys to my mind. I knew a fellow who once ro30lnted so hard on New Year's Day that bis wife stopped him;showas so afield that K he kept on there wouldn't bo anything left for tho Bible to do, After supper ho went out, Just for a minuto, to tell a friend a message ho hadforgotten. When lie reached home, at 3 o'clock in tho morning, the whole police force of tho village was helping him along, wiille there was a smell in the air as ir a big distillery had exploded. "Oh, John," moaned his wife, as he spread himself all over the stair carpet, and she held tho camphor bottlo under his nose, "what's become of all thoso good resolu tions?" "I've got 'cm (hio) all. m' dear," was the reply, "but (hie) they're so vonng yet that I didn't (hie) like'to put 'em (hie) to work." Another chap who was loaded to tho muz zle with good resolutions and bad rum, was doing the figure 8 net all over the sidewalk one New Year's night, when a virtuous neighbor mot him and remarked: "My poor friend! On this day of all days, too!" "Thash nil right," said he of tho load, ex tracting a .flask from his pocket. "Take a drink?" "No, I will not; but Hyou have started this morning with some good resolutions " "Oh, thash what you want, ish it? All right, take 'em all. Don't be modest about it, f'r I'll be darned if I can do a blame thing witn 'em." Things aren't as bad that way, though, as they used to bo when it was the fashion for a fellow to hurry all day long from one friend's housa to another, and make beliove he was making Xeff Year's calls. In those good old times a fellow generally put off his resolution until next day, when he was sure to have a whacking headache to help him. I'vo known more thanono good fellow who said that there was nothing like a headache to help a man swear off, and nothing like swearing off to help a man to another big headache; the longer it was put off the big ger it got. The Appreciation of Old Jokes. It takes an awful lot to make some peo ple's faces break up. It would take a keg of dynamite to get a Joko into the heads of some people and even then you have to clinch thorn on theinsldo to keep them from gotting away before they had got' down to business. To many peopple jokes are Hko wines the older they grow, the better they are. 1 find that jokes are a good deal like ' tunes most people enjoy best those they aie best acquainted with.g? went over to tho Good Samaritan Home the other day to try and make tho old folks laugh, and I succeeded gloriously I never hnd a more appreciative audience All the inmates have passed 75 years or more, so I thought they would enjoy listen ing to som old acquaintances, and I found I was right. One of tho yarns I told them was the one about the man who used n wart on the back of his neck for a collar button; 'twas tho joko that Noah came on one of his sons when tho family were leaving tho ark, and the young man hnd been unable to find the collar button which he had dropped in his state room, tho flood having lasted so long that the vessel's supply of candles had run out. Well, tho old folks laughed until the tears rolled down their checks, but onp old gentleman interrupted mo by inno cently inquiring: "Wasn't tho wart too large to bo used that way, Mr. Wilder?" Old people aren't the only ones who like old jokes best, especially if the listeners livo in tho country. A circ,ns manager once hired a new clown, and as the fellow had been out of employment for a long while, and wanted to show Ms gratitude to his new employer, he laid himself out to get up a brand new lot of jokes. They were first rate jokes, too, but when he tiied them on the audience, tho people were as solemn as if they were taking pills. The manager got up a howling rugo and w cnt for tho clown, ex claiming: "Blank blank vou, what do you mean by getting up nil that stuff?" "Stuff?" echoes the clown. "I'd like you to understand, sir, that thoso are all new jokes." "Newjoke3be hanged!" roared tho man ager. "Get right out there and give them all the old chestnuts, or the lcputatlonof this show will be gone forever." Tho clown obeyed orders, and within five minutes that show was so full of laugh that the manager was afraid he'd have to put an extension on the tent to hold it all. The old folks saw what was coming each time the clown began, so they had time to let a reef or two out of their faces so as to be ready to laugh when tho point came in, while the young people who had been at circuses be fore looked as expectant as a young girl or follow at the gate under twilight, waiting for the other to come. Ono of Dan Bice's Jokes. Speaking of circuses and old jokes, re minds mo of an old story which was told twico a day in the ring by that superb clown, Dan Rice, so long ago that it ougiit to be entirely new to this day and generation. It was first told ono Saturday night when the show had reached town so late that the performance was running Into Sunday morning, and tho manager thought he could fay some respect to the character of the day )y"gottlng off a moral reflection or two. So, when the clown swoie at the trick mule, the manager, who was also ringmaster, le marked: "Stop stop, sir! Don't curse that mule. Don't you know that God made him?" "What?" drawled the clown, who was none other than the great and onl3" Dan himself, and to whom the manager whispered what he wns tip to, and that Dan must find some gag to wind up with. "Is that so?" "Certainly, sir. God made that mule, and he made the earth and everything in it." "What? Made all the people, too?" 'Yes, sir. Made man first, and then woman?" "You don't tell me! Well, making man must have been a big job, but to make woman that must havo been an awful puz zler." "Puzzler, sir? Why should it have been a puzzler?" "Why, because." "Becauso what, sii?" "Becauso it must have been so hard to decide whether to make her a blonde or biunette." 71ie Appreciation of Tlurnor. They say that a Scotchman is the hard est 1 elng on eai th to get into, but the Scotch nwurdthe thick-head championship to tho English. Ono of them tells the story of a man who died and wen t to tho place which Um versalists say doosn't exist, and there ho saw an Englishman sizzling on a red-hot frvinc pan. nnd roaring with lauzhter. "What are on laughing at?" growled the new ai rival. "Ijdon't see anything funny down here." "Oh, It isn't that," thn Englishman re plied, after finishing another mirthful roar. 'I heard a ha, ha! a great joke ha ha! about teiryear.-i ago, and the point ha ha! has just come to me." Here's a happy New Yenr to everybody. and wit enough to take a joko before the point is worn out. Me rrily yours, Marshall P. Wilder. IMBEDDED IN A TKEE. Tho Strange Placa Where a Tomahawk Was- Found by Accident. Graxt Citt, Ma, Jan. 2. While sawing a log at thn sawmill of D. C. Jayne, three miles from hero in the river bottomthe saw struck some object which caused it to bi eak Into many pieces, flying in every direc tion and seriously wounding two of the men employed about the mill. Grant White was cut about the shoulder and Richard Ellis re ceived wounds on the leg which will lay him up for many weeks. An examination showed that the saw bad struck a piece of iron which was imbedded In tho center of tho log and which had un doubtedly been there fully 100 years "or moie. It was dug out and was found to bo the blade of a hand nx, and with it was what was evidently a tomahawk head made of iron. Ihcso had been imbedded In tho tree and tho wood nnd grown over them to such an extent that they wero at least a loot under the suriuce of tho bark. The ax blade tyns finely worked, but tho tomahawk was 6rcry rough nctanfacture. ,' Hi,.,,,, ' ' ' i i . "r ' " " 3-flr CTJEIOSniEB OF C0NGBBS8. Meaning Thai Might He Given to the Name of Some Members. Washisotos, D. C, Jan. 2. The roll of the present Congress begins and ends with tho name of Clark, representing the First dis trict of Alabama, and the last of Wyoming, appropriately enough, says the New York Evening Sun. Tho one at the head is a Demo crat and the one at the tail a Repnblican. Between them come five Taylors, giving this family ns good a representation as any ono of 20 States. There aro four Wilsons in the House, beside two in tho Senate. Tho Houso has also three each of Hendersons; Johnsons, Stewarts, Stones and Williamses. There aro two Albert Hopklnses, two John Wilsons and two William Stones. All these six aro Republicans, except Stone, of Ken tucky. Tbero was n yet worso case in tho last Congress, whero the name William J. Stone, Democrat, appeared twice on the roll. This year the members have different initials, at least. The five Taylors aro all Republicans, so this fnmily will control about one-seventeenth of the votes in the Republican caucus. The seven households of Taylor, Wilson, Henderson. Johnson, Stone, Hopkins "nnd Russell will together make up one-fifth of the Republican delega tion. As for the Democrats, It is plain at the flist glanco that they ore feeling their Oates. They are conscious of having their power secure by a Cable, of being fortified with a strong Castle: 1n brief, thev think they are bound to Winn. They have all the good Fellows on their side. So, they mean to begin by u grand banqnet. For this they have secured a stately Hall. To decorate it they havo ready Bunting, the Green-leaf, the Branch. A Butler and a Page are provided to wait on thorn. To supply the tablo they bring a whole Bullock, with Bacon, Whiting. uuu. iiuie, out oniy ono iiunn. ii tnere should not bo game enough, n Fowler is ready to bring in more, and he has a Covert nearby from which to get it. The Demo crats will feast without anxiety, knowing that if the Republicans try any hostile move ment they will run against a Stump and a Stone, nnd probably be buried out of sight by tho Snow. In case of any real danger, the Democrats havo a faithful Warner. They aro ready for tho battle with leaders Stout and Wise and speakers Crisp and Bland: if their speeches are sometimes Long, at least they are sure to be good English, nnd to be Heard. For tho actual work or the session the Demooracy has secured the ser vices of no loss a lawmaker than Moses hlm Bolf. They have powerful Mills and a good Miller to grind out tho flour of legislation, nnd a Cooper to barrel it up. As for the farmers, they aie very appropriatelv repre sented by Mr. Clover. They have" also a Baker, who will try to keep them from pass ing any half-baked proposals. LMPECOHIOUS BPIEITS. now They Impoverished a Simple Minded Pennsylvania Farmer. LATHRor, Pa., Jan. 2. Paul Hill, at ono time a wealthy farmer here, is the latest victim of "spiritual" manifestations. Moro than 20 years ago Hill moved to Iowa, where his wife died. He was a strong believer in spiritualism, nnd, acting on tho alleged ad vice of his dead wife, married again. Soon after he returned to Lathrop, purchased a new farm and eventually laid away consid erable money. Philander Brown purchased an adjoining farm. Philander was wont to jugglo with spirits, and the Hills soon be came frequent visitors at his house nnd willing victims to his schemes. Finally, at one ot these meetings Brown put Hill into a tranco, and tho old man saw and heard all manner of strange things. Ho heard trains rolling along the heavenly tramway and the buzz of the busy sawmill making slabs in New Jerusalem was borne plainly to his ears. Tho spirits now bocame impecunious, and the departed Mrs. Hill, speaking through the medium, said that herself, Christ, St. Peter and St. John were sorely pressed for clothes. The old man gave cheerfully, but tho irrepressible spirits could not procure enough to supply their needs. Time passed, tho Hill farm was mortgaged, and not until every penny of his fortuno wns gone did the old man benin to realize that the spirits had been leading him a merry chase. Brown was indicted for securing money under lalse pretenses, but got out on a technicality. Hill has no more money to push the case, but is rich in worldly experience. Ho is still won dering how ft all happened. Meanwhile the ingenious Brown is casting about for fresh Yictinis. SOUND 70E FIOBIDA. Long Trip or a Life Saver in the Slx-Foot Dory Little Itovcr. New York, Jan. 2. With a fresh, fair wind the C-foot dory Little Rover started away from Rockaway Beach on its venturesome voyage to Jacksonville yesterday morning. Harry Trnbenback will act as captain, mate, cook and bosen all by himself. A large crowd of people belonging to tho beach as sembled on the wharf in front of the Seaside Houso at tho timo fixed for the departuio. The life saver appeared on the wharf at 9 o'clock, dressed in a blue suit, and spoke to his many friends, who think he will never come back again, and, after bidding them goodby, at 9.29 tho little craft was put under sail ana started on her voyage. On the sail of tho boat is the inscription: "From New York to Florida," where he will tiy to get by March 1, so aso be able to keep his position ns life saver at Rockaway Beach next summer. Trubenback intends to sleep in his craft in the daytime. He has his steer ing gear arranged so qs to work with the sail of the boat. Ho will cook his food on tho same oil stove as on his trip to Boston. Quite an interesting 9tory is told of this oil stove. While off Fort Schuyler the dory was capsized and the oil stove sank. The cap tain knew he would have to cat his food cold if ho did not regain it, so taking a'barof iron that was in tho locker he dived down and recovered it. Trubenback received quite a number of presents before starting on his voyage. HILL AND HIS OFFICES. TnE Tiger bad a great representation at the Hill dinner. Sew York Recorder. Peaxuts ought to be cheaper in New York after January 1. The Hill circus will move. Chicago Inter-Ocean. Govehxou niLL is evidently an old sub scriber toJJncle Dana's "It's better to be sure than to bo sorry" platform. If 'ashing ton Post. " Tuis is my last day as Governor. It 13 a solemn thought. But I've had con siderable fun in worrying Jones, Just ttte same. Hill. Chicago Tribune. If yiere is anything else in sight that David Bennett Hill would like to have, let him say tho word. Just at present he is the Democratic Count of Monte Cristo Minne apolis Tribune. It is very fortunate for tho honest people' of tho country nt large that Pooh-Bah Hill is at the end of his oligarchical reign in New York, else we should all soon be rxclaiming, with Comedian Frank Daniels, "Hang on to your seats, everybody." Philade'phia Press. Senator Hill will go to Washington next week with a new prestige. He has added to his former triumphs the unique glory of actually defeating Republican Statc-stcalcrs in the sharpest tight ever made against them. Sew York World. Condition of tho Capital's Invalids. Wasuingtox, D C, Jan. 2. Mr-. Harrison hud a good rest last night and N feeling much better to-day than yesterday, although she is still unable to leave the house. As sistant Secretary Nettleton, who is ill with tho grip, suffered a slight relapse Inst even ing and is again confined to his bed. Secre tary Foster's convalescence is slow, and it may be several days before he Is able to re sume his ofilcinl duties. Ho was at the Treasury Department for a short timo this afternoon. Speaker Crisp was decidedly bettor to-day. WHEN C0NGKESS RECONVENES. Wues Congress reconvenes war talk will be placed on tho retired list. Washington Post. Congress should not allow Itself to be left out In the matter of good tesolutions Washington Star. Here Is hoping that the grip will let up on Congressmen and that Congressmen will get their grip nnd settle to solid work CMcaa'o Inter-Ocean, t It is oxpected that about 3,001 hills will be presented to the House of Representatives next Tuesday. No doubt tho duns will be asked to call again. Chicago Times. It is understood that no river and harbor bill Is to be p-issed In the present session of Congress. This expenditure, fortunately, can bo postponed without great detriment to the public service. &. Louis Globe-Democrat. GOSSIP OF GREAT GOTHAM. How the L, Ticket Men Get Ahead Billing and Cooing at an Open Speaking Tube Tho Kind of Jag That Pleases People Odds and Ends. matt A BTAPr CORRESPOXDE'T.t Hew York, Jan. 2. "There are ticket men on tho elevated roads," said a well posted man, "who mnke from $2 to J5 a day on the general carelessness and absent mindedness of men, mostly in small things. Women? Not much. Women, as a rale, aro careful about money. They will block up a gangway for a minute to count their change. Most women have the exact change handy for elevated fares. If a woman doesn't tret her exact change she will make moro fuss than 20 men would under similnr clrcum stnnccs. Agents know this, and are very particular as to women. It is not unusual for a man to put in a two-dollar b'll and rush nwny with change for $1, and this Is without any intent on the part or the agent to defraud. In tho general crnsh the man vanishes impatiently and the agent is $1 ahead by the opentjon. "There aro men nnd men, however. When you see a man pull a pocketbool: or chango purso to pay his faro he is usually a careful man about money. When he pulls a wad of crumpled bills of nil denominations from his trousers pocket, ora handful of silver and pennies from his overcoat pocket, ho is usually careless. Ho wilt sweep off a lot of 10-ccnt pieces from the window ledge with out closo examination and chuck them in his pocket without counting as he squeezes through and makes a break for the train. The number or such men is astonishing. When they wake up next day and find two or moro 3 cent or Canadian pieces among their chanee thev don't know where they got them, and if they are short 20 or 30 cents, or even $1, they don't know it. An agent nt a crowded station can pass from 10 to 50 3-cent coins for 10 cents each day and never get a kick. Tbis is where tho ticket agent Is Intentionally dishonest. But there is often a nice margin over1 for the ticket seller with nny such intent. I know an agent who found a Sj gold piece among his pen nies the other day, and he never knew when he took it in. Somebody paid it for a 5-ccnt ticket." Spoiled By a Speaking Tnbe. They stood in the darkened vestibule of a double fiat-house up town. It was a late hour and a cold night, but these were noth ing for it was he and she, and they were young and stood very closely together. Time had no show alongside ot oppor tunity. ' "Yon don't love me a bit!" she said. "Love you!" I worship you, sweetheart darling!" The blondo head was brought against the manly breast for the fifteenth time, and a sott, cllncing kiss was planted whero It wonld do the most good. "Break away," came hoarsely frpm the fcminlno debris. "What did vou say. dearest?" "Come off!" in a hnlf-smothered whisper. "Why, darlinc! I never heard you uso slang before. Don't " . "I never said a word," she declared. It must have been" and a terrible dread overcame her. "I never thought" he began regretfully. "You did-ves. ion did!" "Why. who's that?" Both young people suddenly started away from the wall against which they had been leaning, nnd stared lit the two ranges of bright letter boxes and owlish speaking tubes. "Will you never come off. down there!" "Oh, plague on It! That's Johnny," said she, with deep disgust. "Our speaking tube's out of order 1 forgot." A Jag That Made Everybody Ilappy. There have been a great many happy people this week, old and young, but none happier, in my opinion, than a man who boarded the Sixth avenue elevated at Park Place. He was a decently-dressed, broad shonldcrcd fellow with a beaming counte nance that gained breadth by the backward tilt of his soft hat. He had eyes and the tread of a man as square as a die. When he c.imo in he bowed politely to all in his im mediate vicinity, and s;it down and smiled nt tho rest. Then, without unnecessary pre lude, ho began to sing in a mellow voico, "How Can I Lean Against Thee?" Whether there was homcthing humorously suggestive in the words or bccine they were charmed by the molody, the passengers began to thaw out from their usual frigidity all the way from amused smiles to open langhtcr. Ono gentleman suggested that the Metropolilan Opera House would be honored by tho singer. This pleased the latterand gracp fully doffing his hat at the implied compli ment, he branched on" an "Maggio Murphy's Home." This brought "down the house in loud applause. When ho had finished he acknowledged the applause by rising and attempting to bow, but the car gave a lurch that sent him down in his scat again with a dull thud. "Ladies and gentlemen," he said, "I love that song. I sang It before" "Fourteenth street!"' shouted the guard. "Fourteenth!" repeated tho singer In a stentorian voice, for fear somebody hadn't heard "and by the ancient gods of Rome the next shall be Eighteenth!" He then dis covered a gentleman standing, and with the air of a Chesterfield offered him his seat. This courtesy tho other smilingly declined. ''I insist upon your taking it," was the re joinder. Tho elder and not the prettier man should be seated. I can't help my good looks, sir, any moro'thau you can help j our years." Having prevailed upon the now embar rassed gentleman, the happy man expatiated upon his own good looks and pleasant dis position townm nu inauKinu until uiu irain reached Thirtv-third, where he w.ived his hand, with a "Good night all," and got off, leaving, it need scarcely be said, a car crowded with happy holiday faces. Insanity Goes in Waves. "There is something in the atmospheric conditions that develop insanity and mur derous impulses," said a stndent of human nature "That Is my theory. It is like the grip and other diseases that prevail at certain times and nndcr cer tain conditions. There are all sorts of diseases and impulses In people and it only needs the conditions to develop them. In sanity is a peculiar disease and to a greater or less degree exists in a pretty large pro portion of mankind. In mo-t cases it is shown in a harmless idiosyncrasy and ex cites no more comment than mild ridicule; but in many cases it has a homicidal tend ency that is suddenly and unexpectedly de veloped. Can this bo through natural and general causes, oris it imitation that pro duces these mind waves? I believe it is the former that general causes similnr to the conditions that produce thegrip wave, the cholera wave, tho horse distemper wave, or any other disease of a season, also tend to unbalance tho badly balanced mind. The cases that appear in the papers aro not a tithe or tho cnse3 really existing. At tho Marlborough Hotel the other day the bar keeper showed mo an-icepiek one of those stiletto like things with a round, leaden bulb to it for u handlo tne same kind of a weapon that was plunged into "The" Allen. It was taken fiom the pocket of a negro bell-boy who had been discharged. That boy meant murder. Half tho men yon meet have homicidal tendencies nt times. It is the nature of man. Nothingbut civiliza tion and the seb-control that comes of it prevents, our killing each other on slight pretexts. The so-called crime waves are prolmblj" the results of general coiulitions tnai tena to inrow men on meir mental guard aud ,ieduco them to natural sav agery." This Boy Snrc to Be President. A welcome visitor to a certain house hold 13 a very pleasant and pretty young lady named Butters. The fouryenr-old of the houso is quite fond of her nnd has often heard her pronounced "sweet." He is also fond of bread and butter and syrup, but un like most children ho nover asks for any thing save by indiiection. The other morn ing his allowance of maple extract was foi gotten. Ho ponderotL the situation for a time nnd then .ald: "I have a hot roll and butter. Ifbuttor had an 's' on it it would be Miss Butters and then I wouldn't have to ask for syrup!" Here, at once, was a broad hint for himself and a delicate compliment for the young lady. Stars In nn Unexpected Ouarter. New York is a great city. During the inn ol the holiday pantomime at the Acad emy of Music I sat one matinee down In front. This was a great "ballot dlvertise ment" und I can't hear very well. One of the most conspicuous characters in tho piece, which was 'Cinderella,'' was a little chap about as large a- a 5-year-old baby, dressed lu Hungarian nnifonri and acting as page to the prince of tho lairy tale. And vory clever lie was, too. The A"cademy is a mile orso out of my usual theatrical baili wick, but that same evening I saw some thing in the two little bos who brim; in v family laundry to remind me of the small paie and the princess' footmnn. On in quiry I found they were the same. The small paso has been on the stase three or lonr years, and Is in his way an old-timer nt 9 years. Ho named over his repertory as ho K fayed on the floor with tho air of ono who ail pretty much uthausted the theatrical gamut. Thov two bright little fellows livo with inv laundress. Their father isan attache of an uptown theater, and they make tueir owu living as piofessi-nals. Chaelxs Theodore Murray. CURIOUS CONDENSATIONS: ,y Madagascar has a standing array" "of 20,000. There are now 65,007 posloffices in the United State?. An orange tree in Southern California a year old bore 203 oranges. A dollar aminnte is the charge for using the new London-Paris telephone. The cubit, Latin cubitus, an elbow, is a Roman standard of length from the point ' of the elbow to the end of.the middle finger. Sappey. the learned physiologist, says that the human stomach contains 6,000,000 glands which ate constantly secreting gas tric Juice. In olden times, when every part of the body had its price, the beard was valued at 20 shillings a laige sum for the time while the loss of a leg was only estimated at 12 shillings. At a depth of 280 feet a new spouting mineral spring has been struck at the Gey sers at Saratoga, the gas in which is so pow. erml as to throw a six-Inch column of water 21 feet high. There is a man in Pomona, Cal., who drives a horse that is a tobacco fiend. He mnst have his "chew" regularly, and if it Is not given him he "kicks," literally as well as figuratively. That rather dangerous breed called Spits or Pomeranian dogs, a variety of Esquimau, were first bred in Pomerania, Prussia, but tho popular name of Spitz was probably de rived Irom tho erroneous notion that they originated in Spitzbergen. Newfoundland dogs were originally nat ives of that country and Labrador, from which circumstance they received their title. In tho same manner the noble St. Bernards are so called irom the famous monastry of that name in the Alps. The dolphin is said to be the fastest swimmer in the seas. It has been observed to dart through the water at a rate com puted to be much greater than 20 miles an hour, and is often seen swimming round and round a vessel which is sailing at high est speed. If a well could be dug to the depth of 46 miles, the density of the air at the bottom would be as great as that of quicksilver. By tho same law a cubic inch of air taken 4,000 miles above the earth's surface would ex pand sufficiently to fill a sphere 2,000,000,000 miles In diameter. Hot more than 90 years ago there ex isted In the South of Ireland abduction clubs, whose members were Dound by oath to assist in carrying off such women having money as were fixed upon, the members drawing lots to determine to whom tho woman abducted should fall. In the Caucasian province of Georgia where a drouth has lasted long, marriage able girls are yoked in couples with a yoka on their shoulders, a priest holds the reins, and thus harnessed they wade throngh rivers, puddles and marshes, praying, screaming, weeping and laughing. TheBechuanas burn the stomach of an ox at evening because, they say, "black smoko will cather the clouds and cause the rain to come." Timore3 sacrifice a black pig for rain, a white or redone for sunshine. The Garos offer a olack goat on the top of a very high mountain in time of drouth. A man weighs less when the barometer is high, notwithstanding the fact that the atmospheric pressure on him is moro than when the barometer is low. As the pressure of nir on nn ordinary sized man is about 15 tons, the rise of the mercury from29to31 inches adds about one ton to the load he has to carry. There is a kind of paper monoy in circu lation in Africa. On the coast of Loanga, for instance, they have umbougo, a sort of paper mat, one foot square large, of which 100 are worth a piece of cloth in kano. In the in terior o f tho Soudan the tobe, a cotton, cloth, nnd in ICanem a. cotton shirt is the regular standard money. According to the ideas of the Iceland ers all waters which flow to the north are drawn thitherward by a suction created by the tceans tumbling downward through the hollow which they firmly believe exists at tho Pole. Their authority for this curious belief is the "Utama Saga." a semi-sacred work written early in the fourteenth cen tury. On every horse will be found, on the inside of each foreleg, a dry, gray wart about the size of a silror dollar, apparently of no possible use. When the weary, over taxed animal, sweating at every pore and covered with foam, can'reach down and rub with bis wet nese thU alway dry, hard sub stance, he is inftantly refreshed with an odor like geranium. Arkansas has two natural curiosities which will be exhibited at- the World's Fair, and which will be of interest to lumbermen. One is an oak tree ten inches in diameter, pierced through and through by a small cedar three inches in diameter. The other i. a ample of Arkansas grape vine found in Lincoln county. It Is is inches in diameter at the butt and 50 yards long. Until recently it was supposed that the small star near the North Pole known as No. 1830 Goombridge, which travels at the rate of 232 miles a second, had the greatest velocity of any in-the heavens: bnt it isnow known that Mnin Cussionola has a velocity of 305 miles a second while, while if tho ob servations of Dr. Elkin are accepted. Arc turps is traveling at a speed of 375 miles a second. A few years ago it was suspected that the latitude of places on tho earth's curface changes. A number of astronomers agreed to make observations for two years and tho result has just been made public. Latitudes do change. Berlin, for example, was 50 feet nenrer the North Pole in September than it was in March, This change isnot, of course, a shifting of anyone point on the earth's surface. It Is a tilting of the axis of the earth. The powers of the fakirs, or fhqueers of India and Persia of simulating death are marvelous and almost incredible. Several sects in these countries regard the art of apparent death as a part of their religious ritnnland practice it assiduously. In their ancient books it is described as prjranavani, or stopping tho death. Many cases in which these Indian fakirs have allowed themselvos to be 'juried alive lorlong periods have been verified by British officials in India and at tested by evidence which dispels all doubt of their truth. HIITMELETS AND JINGLES. "Worshiper There was no soprano in the choir to-day. What was the matter? Orginl:st--Ttie soprano had a dream last nistht in which an angel told her the Lord wanted her to 6lng anthem Xo. 93 to-day. "Well."' Well, the soprano got mad and said she would n't be bossed by anybody." Puck. I gave her a pair of wings for her bat, For I hoped the fair maiden to wed. But a very unlucky proceeding was that; Next day with another she fled. Portland Post. "We must get out quick I" said BIoc liumper. when some one In the theater yelled Fire!" Very well," replied Mrs. Bloobumpcr, rlslngj nine down In Ave minutes." Harper's Bazar. DeGarry I'm afraid you are only trying to lie cj nlcil when you say that all girls are mer cenary. Merrltt I don't think so. The only present I e er made a girl thai she didn't want to keep was a diary. " ftto. In resolution strong arrayed, All this year's happenings to portray. The sentimental youth and maid Their diaries begin to-day. They'll note each day's events with care For one whole week or maybe more. And then dlgustedly declare The thing's a nuisance and a bore. A'ew York Press. Winkworth I have a brand new suit of clothes that you can hare, ir you want to. It's little hit light in color, and I shan't wear it any more. Spindle Why not? Wlnworth-I am going to Pittsburg to live. Cluthier and Furnisher. Before they wed he used to rave About her voice of bird-like pitch. 'Twas sort and mellow then, yon know, For she still faneled he was rich; But when she knew th truth of It, That they must eat both soup and bone. She changed the pitch, and now she talks In rich and heavy dark brown tone. .VeiororiifmilJ. The clock in the little parlor indicated 13 Another year had vanished Into the dim, voicele-s past. How the time fllesl" she murmured. "Dear me!" "YC3." responded the youngman, heartily. "I Indorse both those sentiments." Chicago TrituM,
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers