- IT WILL STARTLE YOU. EDisors BEHHKIHLE- ANSWER TO THE QTXKSTI05, I WHAT IS- LIFE? k. "VtLL BE GIVES IS T0-M0RR0WS MAMMOTH DISPATCH. O Everybody Should Bead It. a IIVIARK TWAIN IS ABROAD. HE "WENT TO AIX, And Humorously. Logically and In structively tells all about it. PICTURES, I DAN BEARD MADE THE READ TO-MORROW'S DISPATCH., A Splendid Woman's Page, Edited by Helen Watterson.$ A Tonth's Department That Is Instructive, f The Table, The Boudoir, Home Helps and Hygienes ITQ-MORROW'S DISPATCH! LORD TTOLSEXXnr CRITICISES V0N MOLTKE'S MEMOIRS Gcrman-Amer j-i -j Should & Head This. 2-TC-MORKO WS DISPATCH -will be full of good things. Get a cops' froci newsagents, newsboys or through the j, earlier. A week's leading. jeB$pafclj. ESTABLISHED FEBRUARY 8. 1S4S. Vol. 43. 3To.E3. Pnterfrt at Pittsburg Postoffice, y ovembcr 3SS7, as eecond-ci&ss matter. Business Office Corner Smithfield and Diamond Streets. News Rooms and Publishing House 78 and 80 Diamond Street, in New Dispatch Building. FASTERV ADVERTISING OFFICE. ROOM H. Tr.IBnXF.BtJILDINVJ. NEW YORK, where com plete file ofTHEDlSPATCH can always be found. PoreJgn adYertiers appreciate the convenience. Home adrertlsers and Mends of THE DISPATCH, vliile in 'ew Yort, are al90 made welcome. THE BISTATSHit Ttpvlarly on cl? at Bmtann's, Uttitm Square. .ac Tor1. and 27 Avf d VOprra, ran, France, where anyone vno Iia oeen aist isap- pointed at a koUl rmos stand can obtain it. TERMS OF THE DISPATCH. rOSTAOE THEE Ef TUB UXITED STATES. Vtirvr Dispatch. One Tear f R 00 Dailt Dispatch, Per Quarter...- SCO Daily DisrATcn, OneJIonth TO Dailt DitrxTCn, including Snndav. 1 year.. 10 00 Dailt Dispatch, Including Sundar. 3 m'thi. 2 50 D MLY PierATCH, Including Sunday; 1 m'th.. 90 SrvDAT Dispatch, One Year. SSO Weeklt Dispatch, One Year. , 1 25 The Dailt Dispatoi Is delivered by carriers at 35 cents per week, or. Including Sunday EdlUon, at 20 cents per week. PITTSBURG, SATUEDAT, XOY. 7, ISO. TWELVE PAGES AX EKLY DECISION W ANTED. The announcement that a test case of the new street laws can be passed upon in time to have a decision by the Supreme Court in January is a satisfactory one. It is to be hoped that it will be done. That course will clear away all doubts as to the constitutionality of the act, and if the law is sustained permit work to be planned for the ensuing season. If the act is over rc.ed the city will have the more reason fcr shaping its course accordingly. If a decision on the street act can be bad then a decision on the curative act should be possible at the same time. The city officials v ill surely not be guilty of ihefauz pag of getting a decision on one and leaving the much more urgent ques tion of the other still in doubt I AXD BOOMS OX THE SLOPE, The observations of our correspondent, Mr. Breen, upoa the character of much of the land booming done in the West, concur with advices from other sources. Thc.e is, of course, a great future tor the West, but iu many sections the disposition to discount this future lias been greatly tal-en advantase of. The flight of time cannot be hastened by the most glowing prospectus. It requires time and business aciurJIj in sight to make enormous per manent increase in land values anywhere. Wliile the newspapers have been full of reports of the great advance of real estate price at various points along the Pacific Coast, it is doubtless as Mr. Bicen points that the harvest has been for syndicates and piospectus men rather than for the Eastern folk who took their dollars out there to exchange for mere possibilities. The experience of Southern California in this respect is likely to be duplicated further Xortli. An :nestigat:on would show that it is, after al', in the older and substantial oifies of the country that by far the largest improvement has taken place in ral estate values. In these older com munities the demand, which establishes the market values, springs almost invari ably from the visible needs of existing business. Thi insures the quality of per manency, and makes the investment feat ure safe. The next generation may wit ness similar evidences of assured position and permanency in the new cities now 1cing founded on the Slope ; but up to the present there is no douot, as Mr. Breen points out, tlvt theie is a great deal of the "General Choke" and "Garden of Eden " extravagance about the announce ments of their attractions. ALLEGHENY'S LOOSE METHODS. The latest disclosure with regard to the methods of conducting Allegheny's mu nicipal affairs is that for ten years past the vehicle and amusement licenses have been collected by the wrong official. Under an ordinance of 1SS1, presumably unrepealed, these fees were to be paid to the City Treasurer; but with calm superiority to 1 the law ne Mayor s office hasfone right en collecting them. , The discovery is a surprising one. Its most prominent significance is in its illus tration of the loose way of doing business that sometimes gets hold of a. city's ad ministration. It is hard to see how any view can hold the City Treasurer respon- sible for the fact that people paid their license fees to someone else. There might be a responsibility on the Mayor; but sup posing the fees to have been turned over properly, if the Mayor has nothing worse to answer for, he will get out all right Of course, the licenses issued under these circumstances are technically illegal; but as the money was indisputably paid it is not likely that any attempt will be made to compel new pavment'from a source of revenue resembling last year's bird's nests. At the present rate Allegheny will soon discover by the study of her municipal departments what ought not to be done to have a good city government. Let us hope that the lesson will be profitably em ployed with the result of putting the ad ministration on a business-like, honest, and unimpeachable basis. THE KEAL "WRONG Mr. Albert Bolles, of the Pennsylvania Bureau of Statistics, discusses at length, as will be seen by an abstract of his report in our Harrisburg correspondence, the question of railway rates as affecting Pennsylvania agriculture. His conclusion, after a somewhat labored review of the question, based exclusively on the corpo rate representation, is that the railways are not to blame, and that the farmers are very much mistaken in charging the de crease of their prosperity to them. In one sense Mr. Bolles is correct i n stating that the railroads cannot help transporting Western products at low rates and charging proportionately far higher prices on the products of Eastern farms. So long as the system concen trates the forces of competition on fertain portions of railroad traffic and abolishes it on others theymustgive low rates on the competitive traffic, and will make high ones on that where there is no compulsion on them in the shape of lost traffic if they do not give as low rates as competitors. Nev ertheless, it is the fact that the rates for which Western products are brought to the seaboard represent what the railroads can do and find a profit in it under the influ ence of competition ; and the rates which Pennsylvania farmers have to bear show what is thccoudition of things without competition. 9 The indictment against the railway pol icy goes deeper than Mr. Bolles supposes, in that it is so wedded to the system of exclusive privileges and monopoly of local traffic that all attempts to equalize the action of competition are met with mis representation and hostility. Mr. Bolles' profound statement that the inter-State Commerce law lias not succeeded in rais ing Western rates reveals such a depth of ignorance concerning the purposes of that enactment that it would be remarkable if like errors were not common with public ists i ho make a practice of accepting the corporate misrepresentations of that act as authoritative premises. But we need not go outside of State legislation to find an example of railway determination that competition shall not reach the inter mediate traffic. The people of Pennsyl vania have an especially strong ground of complaint against railway polic' in that its frankly brutal declaration that no com peting lines shall be built through Penn sylvania has reached the degree of over riding and nullifying both the Constitution of the State and the decree of the Courts. With these circumstances Mr. Balles' discussion of the idea of rates based on the value of the products is beside the mark. Let the same force which determines the value of grain, the price of iron, or the cost of makiDg a coat, namely, the general consensus of what people are willing to do the work for under the free action of supply and demand, determine all railway cHarges. In other words, establish free competition in every department of rail way traffic and the question of rates will settle itself as completely on the railways as it does in river, lake and ocean naviga tion. THE FOOTING OF THE BILL. The Reform Committee of Allegheny citizens has not only an excellent purpose, but promise to find its hands full in deal ing with the irregularities of elected offi cials. The one feature of this and other reform movements in cities for the correc tion of abuses, which shows the superficial light in which such questions are viewed, is that the work is almost always left to professional or business men. Yet it is not upon these so much as upon the wage workers that the burden of taxes falls, i'he property-owner adds his taxes to his rents; the grocer to the cost of his gro ceries; the merchant to his wares, and the doctor and the lawyer to their fees. Thus indirectly, but not the less surely, the men who work for wages have to pay the bulk of the bill in the end. When they get to understand this, as they must eventually, they will be found co-operating with the business and profes sional peonle in securing efficient and eco nomic government of cities. It is pecu liarly the wage-workers' pocket which is depleted by extravagance and their own interests which are attacked by official cor. ruption. Though the proportion of taxes levied on them directly is small, it can be demonstrated that indirectly they have to stand by far the greater part of the public expenditures. THE COMPTROLLER'S REGULAR FLEA. A striking illustration of the pass to which Government supervision of the national 'banking system has come is furnished by the fact that the Comptroller of the Currency is again compelled to seek a scapegoat in the person of the National Bank Examiner. In the matter of the Maverick National Bank the Comptroller is quoted by a Re publican organ as denying that he had been informed by the Examiner at Boston of the insolvent condition of the institu tion. This stock resort is not so much of a boomerang as the similar pleaSin the case of the Keystone Bank at Philadel phia, where the Comptroller's indictment of the Examiner had to be accompanied by a practical admission that he continued the official in a position of trust after he knew of alleged conduct on his part that required his prompt suspension. The death of the Examiner at Boston permits the general assertion 011 the part of the Comptroller that he was not informed of the condition, and the case, therefore, presents another illustration of the re markable alleged tendency of Examiners not to let the Comptroller know when they find a bank to be insolvent. Yet even this plea does not a whit miti gate the responsibility of the Administra tion. The appointing power is responsible for its appointments. If the principle of selection has been such as to produce bank examiners who wantonly neglect their most urgent duties, or a Comptroller who has not vigor enough to make his subordinates report to him when they dis cover million-dollar shortages, the respon sibility for vitiating and relaxing the safe guards of national banking is a no less heavy burden for the Administration to bear. On the Comptroller's own statement there is the most urgent neccessity forjthe selection of bank examiners who arevof - some use, or for the President i select a Comptroller whose supervision is not an empty mockery. THE TEXAS .SAVAGERY. With reference to the remark of a co temporary that the story of. a Texas mob burning ti negro at the stake mutt be pure fiction, The Dispatch said that, as the conduct of Southern mobs was based on principles of barbarism, it was to be feared that even this extreme act of savagery was possible. The letter and proclamation of Governor Hogg to the sheriff of the county in which that savage lawlessness was perpetrated leaves no doubt of the blot upon civilization in flicted by such an act The Governor's action is exactly what the occasion calls for. It declares that the men who perpetrate such outrages are enemies of law and the Constitution; offers $1,000 reward for the arrest and con viction of the leaders of the mob, and $200 for the principals' accessories and ac complices, and points out that the men who commit such crimes are murderers a wanton and dangerous as the worst crim inals against whom lynch law is invoked. "The prevalence of monocracy means the subversion of law and order," declares the Governor, and he invokes the activity of all officers of the law in suppressing such "brutality and disregard of the Con stitution and laws." Governor Hogg has made a creditable record by his attempts to bring all classes of criminals to Justice, regardless of their wealth, numbers or influence. His action in this case stands out in shining contrast to the paralysis which seems to have been inflicted on Nebraska law by the recent Omaha mob, and it is to be hoped that he may succeed in this effort Until he does, Texas will be disgraced by the foulest and most savage mob murder in modern records. The Philadelphia Bulletin remarks in connection with the President's declination to attend the Augusta Exposition, that "the President cannot take such a trip as ordi nary travelers can, comfortably seated in the cars, with nothing to disturb him. He must make a speech at every stopping place, and must have something new to say In every one." On what compulsion must heT If we are not mistaken, Presidents have found themselvs able to take journeys by rail without enlivening the public with speeches from the rear platform. There is nothing wrong in President Hnrrison'e con tinuing to make those happy, little remarks of his; but there is neither any constitu tional nor political reason why he should do so any longer than he thinks be can get a political usufruct out of them. TrtAKKSGrviKQ Day proclamations are next in order. Probably William McKinley might help Governor Campbell to compose life, and Quay, McCamant and Boyer would be willing to take the job off Pattison's hands. Those French subscriptions to that Rus sian loan seem to.have been conducted on the enlarged plan of the Chicago subscrip tions to the World's Fair fund. The subscrip tions in both cases were accompanied by great enthusiasm, and the Russian loan was taken seven times over in Paris. But tho Chicago subscriptions have realized ovor fifty per cent of their amount, while there port is that no money at all Is coming in on the Russian loan. It is a great deal easierto subscribe enthusiastically than to pay np promptly. Mr. Hensel had his innings yesterday, and made the arguments of the attorneys for the defense look rather small. But there is reason to think that the oratory is wasted. The cases are res adjudicata, iu an improper sense. Mme. Adam's explanation in the North American Review that the modern French novel does not accurately portray modern French society, is reassuring. The impres sion gained from the" moral would be that French society is hopelessly corrupt, while the fact is that it is'not quite so rotten as the English aristocracy. The French take their corruption-in their literature, and the En glish painstakingly exclude it from the books. Low water and high prices of coal down the river present a system of compensations which both the coal interests and the down river consumers think might be vastly im proved upon by a coalboat rise. Prize fights for the diversion of the glided youth of this community are reported to be getting quite frequent. The young men who pay high prices to see a couple of sluggers pound each other rank themselves low down in taste and cnlture; but that is not a sufficient reason for the authorities to look the other way wlille it is going on. Core should be able "to elect a member of Parliament without a resort to clubs and blackthorns. ' The faction light is not the way to support the claim that Ireland is capable of self-government. Spreckels -ihinks that the Hawaiian islands roba annexed to the United States. SjflVffels owns the sugar planta tions thereand the United States pays two cents a pound bounty'on raw sugar. Sugar shows the relations of cause and effect in the formation of opinion on public ques tions. Senator Sherman's idea that the free coinage plank did it may have a greater eye to the Senatorial contest than to the coming Presidentar fight. But silver may be a factor next year. A President who first harangues his troops, promising to guard 'their interests, and then yields to their request to "assume the functions of a dictator," is going on Bal maceda's road as fast as he knows how. Per haps the Brazilians will accept the situa tion more easily than'the Chileans did. If any more new discoveries are made with regard to Allegheny's municipal af fairs the result bids fair to be that the Northslde city will not know where she stands. New York has practically determined that she will have a rapid transit by a four track underground railway. This should be borne in mind by Pittsburg against the time when our present means become inadequate. By so doing we may avoid the blunder of overhead tracks. Dear IiIVSey There does not seem to be- any reason why you should stay away any longer. The Senate will make it all rich t for j ou. With President Montt as the chief ex ecutive of.Chile and Senor Montt as the Chilean Minister to tlio United States, the family oughfc to be able to make things straight with Uncle Sam and confound the plans of the Jingoes. A Glover Cleveland Day. Boston Traveler, Rep. From a Democratic standpoint, yesterday was a Grover Cleveland day. I r previous to the voting of yesterday Governor Campbell of Ohio, and"Govcraor Pattison, of Pennsyl vania, were Democratic Presidental possi bilities, they are so no longer. New York takes its old place as the dominant State in determining Democratic nominations; David B. Hill is safely shelved in the United States Senate. Tammany is triumphant, and Grover Cleveland has not swallowed the Tammany tiger for nothing. It was vjry likely an unsavory morsel, but he will prob ably secure his reward. Don't Blame Poor Fassett. New York Commercial Advertiser. Don't blame poor Mr. Fassett. He fought nobly, and on exactly; the lines laid down for Men, It was not his fault. T0UEIST3 EXPENSES. They Make the Balance at Trade Show ' Against the United States. Chicago Tribune. 1 According to a statement we are $80,000,000 ahead on the business of the last nine months, our exports having exoeeded the imports by that amount. If the case were truly stated by these figures our indebted ness abroad was lessened by that difference, noted as the "balance of trade." Bat, as previously shown In the Tribune, the re ported cost of the goods imported is that given at the foreign ports of shipment, which is less than the cost to us by the un dervaluation of goods, taxed ad valorem, and the charges paid for insurance and transportation to our shores. If we allowed for these three items, which are omitted from the Treasury reports, an addition of only 15 per oent to the tabulated $827,114,582 of goods imported the balance will be $14, 000.000 the other way, indicating that we have bad to send to Europe secniitics to that amount to balance the business of the nine months. But in addition thereto there is nearly $100,000,000 which has been spent by Ameri can tourists in Europe this year. We are so much behind, in spite of the fact that we have exported far more wheat and cotton, and also parted with twice as much gold. It will be observed that the value of imports was nearly the same for each of the two terms. The exports for this year include $75,757,6S9 of domestic told, $1,188,847 of foreign do, $8,274,120 of domestic sliver, and $8,743,276 of loreign do. Imports for the same time include $13,131,595 of told and $11,4P0,550 of silver. Tho October exports of produce have been so large that they will much in crease the above stated nominal balance of trade and cut down the actual disadvantage of the term ending with September. But the year's balance will still be considerably against us ana will be squared as usually oy sending stocks and bonds to Europe to draw interest against us, and which sooner or later must be paid. TALK OP THE TIMES. Campbell said ho was simply running to get his time recorded. It's recorded. Springfield Republic-Times. The track was too heavy lor him. The Alliance is pretty dead. It will not be placed in the raoe of 1892. St. Loms Globe Democrat. This is no news. It has been very dead for a long time. The Prince of Wales will be 50 years old Monday, and it does seem high time that be chose a profession for himself. Chicago Times. Some of his opponents in the game think he is a professional already. Speaking of dead things, what has become of the People's party in Ohio amid the wreck of matter and the crash of worlds t Ohio State Jovrnal. It is reported that it hag gone where the woodbine twineth. Just set it down that the Republican party of the nation will not hold its nominating convention in 1892 under the auspices and direction of Tammanydom. Chicago Jhler Oceari.2fot if Chicago can help it. 4 The4piachinery for counting the votes In Massaopusetts sadly needs greasing. Such delays u weie experienced in this business this yeJjf are something that ought not to be repeated There is no excuse for it. Boston J?eraW.Massachu9etts is behind the times. In nearly every other instance the votes were counted before they were cast. f 'T0REST RESERVATIONS. A Sensible Move Looking Toward the Fu ture of tho Country. Denver Republican. When Congress empowered the President to set apart from the public domain reserva tions of forest lands a most important step was taken for the preservation of the forests of the country. Most of these reservations must be confined to the Far West, because it is in this section of the Union that the greater part of the Government land 13 sit uated. It is gratifying, therefore, to notice that the sentiment of the people of the West is in favor of withdrawing various tracts of timber from disposition under the public land land laws. All of these forests are of great importance because many large streams llse within their limits. If the tim ber should be destroyed the result would De seen in an irregulay flow of these streams. Instead of. that flow being uniform, there would at times be great floods, followed by a scarcity of water. Experience long since taught that there can be no uniformity in the flow of a stream if the country through which it passes is stripped of its forests. It is of the utmost importance thatthe for ests which exist should be preserved, for it will be a long time before the sentiment of this country will be educated up to lorest planting and culture. Men may be induced to preserve lorests which nature has planted. but they will never be induced to plant lor ests until they find a direct profit in the sale of timber. They will not plant forests for the sake of the general benefit which vast tracks of timberconfer. Hence the setting apart of these timber reservations should be indorsed by the intelligent people of all parts of the country. SNAP SHOTS IN SEASON. Drunkards have golden opportunities to reform now. TJp to the present aerial navigators have only indulged in flights of fancy. There's a lesson in the recent elections, and those who bet and lost should profit by It. He with the Presidental bee Will now improve the hour By going to New York to see What he can do with Flower. Judging by returns from the Granger States the farmers are very busy with their fall plowing. Nickel steels may save the nation's honor, but golden steals wreck Common wealths. The railroad into Moon traverse a milky way. township will John Bull may scorch his fingers In the Chile pie before things cool down there. If the poor could afford to wear frieze they would always be warm. I All lobbyists are blackmailers, but for tunately for politics all blackmailers are not lobbyists. If the Ohio was slack-watered Cincinnati would not be shivering over slack fires. The men who go into politics in Ireland must pay high premiums for life insurance policies. SOON the ice will fonn And the drifts will blow; But after tho storm AVe will shovel snow. Theatrical managers should never go broke, because they can always change a bill. Men are worried by trifles and women are annoyed by triflers. Tie elections are over, but the politi cians still live, although some are dead broke. Fassett says he is pleased' to see his party united. This is a tacit admission that New York has gone over to the enemy, and that it is useless to buck the tiger any longer. The young man proposes, but sometimes the old manopposes, and that settles it. The worker who has any -leaven in his composition is sure of a raise In salary. Liquid smiles make the mouth water. The heart is a pump and ,suckers work on it. ,1 , TALK OF THE TOWN. A Small Newsy Who Collided With Good I.uck, and Cried Our Fogs Not In It With London's A Queer Result of Mr. Graham's Lectures Odds and Ends of Gossip From Curb and Corridor. As small a newsboy as was ever seen, dressed in the tattered clothes of an elder brotherpossibly, for his coat almos't touched the ground, and his short trousers were really long, stood at the corner of Diamond and Smithfield streets on Thursday after noon about 3-30. He was rubbing his little eyes with a smudgy little fist, and was try ing to look up at passersby from under the overhanging roof of a faded brown, slouch hat of man's size, while he held out a single copy1 of an afternoon paper. A party of sports came out of Piatt's saloon and almost ran over the diminutive newsy, whokept re peating in a mourniul monotone: "Paper! Paper! Evening paper." One of the men.who perhaps learned to be generous when "the tiger" kept open bouse In Pittsburg, and charity is regarded as an t Insurance nollcv bv tramblers. fished out a .handful of change and gave the hoy a dime. two or tnree or the sports louowea suit with pennies and nickels, and the tiny newsy looked at the money in amazement. His good fortune puzzled film and for want of words to express his feelings he began to cry, though he took the precaution of hiding the money in a pocket of hb capacious breeches at once. The sight of a tattered little newsy sobbing and screwing his hands into bis eyes attracted the attention of more travelei s on the pavement, and one of them, a nicely dressed hoy of ton, walking with his mother, stopped and without a word gave the tearful little rellow a dime. This sur prised the newsy so much that he forgot to keep on crying, and in rather more cheerful mood he sat dqwn on the step of The Dis PATrnbusiness office and proceeded to reckon up nif ncnes. lie liaa aoout 4U or ou cents, and his single paper was still unsold. When last seen he was relating his adventures to some veteran newsies of a tougher growth, and their eager laces suggested a painful doubt about the eventual possession of the half dollar. British Sneers at Our Fogs. I don't know why you Pittsburgers com plain about dark skies and almost brag of fog and soot as prominent qualities of your atmosphere," said Nelson Carrington, who hails from London, yesterday. "If you could enjoy a week of London 'particular' weather, with fog almost too thick to be cut with a knife, that colors your face and hands a tawny yellow, that tickles your throat and coats the mucous membrane of all your air passages with something that has a well marked flavor, which only good old brown stout or half-and-half, taken in homely doses, a pint at a time, can remove if you could for once enjoy a London fog in all its or iginal and dense richness you would under stand why I find your citv air clear and your skies bright by comparison. I know Ameri cans, as a rule, thfnk that it is insular vanity that makes a Londoner stand up for the fog of his native citv as the densest, dirtiestand most disagreeable in the world, but Ameri cans who have lived through one winter in London are just as positive in their nse.of superlatives in describing a London fog. I grant vou that the inky canopy which hung over Pittsburg on Thursday had some of the British attributes, in fact, the sky resembled that over London on a fine, clear day in winter. That's a good deal, you know, for so young a city as Pittsburg to have accom plished, and perhaps if you keep on adopt ing smoke consumers at the present rate and multiply your chimneys, in a century or two you may lvive the proud pre-eminence of being the dirtiest city on the earth, with a brand of fog that even dear old London cannot equal. Kissing the Blarney Stone in Sewlckley. Ex-Kecorder Graham has been delivering some very interesting lectures upon what he saw during his recent trip across the water to the children of the Sunday school of the First Christian Church, in Allegheny. It sounds odd, but It is true nevertheless, that the life of as fine a baby boy as there is in Sewickley woe all but cut short as a direct result of the graphic description of a visit to Blarney Castle, in County Cork, which formed a part of one of Mr. Graham's recent lectures. In the audience which enjoyed Mr. Graham's lecture and admired the illus trations furnished through a stereopticon, was a decidedly bright boy of some seven or eight years, the eldest of three boys in a highly respected Sewickley family. Mr. Graham's recital of how he climbed the crooked stalls to the battlements of the keep, all that now remains of the castle built by Cormick McCaity, and how he rised his neck to kiss the Blarnev stone. held by the heels by an orthodox guide for that purpose, particularly impressed the small Sewickleyan. When he reached home in the vale of Sweet Waters helostno'time in repeating as much as he could remember of Mr. Gra ham's lecture to his two younger brothers, and to make the description of the kissing of the Blarney stone more vivid he took his baby brother Frank and slung him by the heels head downward over the edge of a sofa. This experiment was so satisfactory to the demonstrant that the infantile vic tim was venring upon speechlessness when his mother appealed upon the scene and terminated the Infringement upon Mr. Gra ham's copyright then arid there. The Definition of Man Upheld. At a most pathetic stage of the second act of "Goeffrey Middleton" on Thursday night, some hysterical idiot In the gallery laughed. It was a loud threovolumed laugh, sneh as a circus,clown's parrot might be proud to produce. "" "I wonder what kind of beast It was that laughed?" asked a man of his neighbor in the parquet. "Not a beast at all, my dear sir," was the reply, "but a man an animal that laughs; you know the definition." Next Spring Will Dawn Auspiciously. "By the time spring comes around again I expect Pittsburg will be experiencing a wonderful revival in all her industries," said Broker H. M. Long yesterday, "but till then men are going to feel their way cau tiously. There has been and there still is a process of sifting out weak concerns and shaky financiers going on all over the coun try, and for this reason the good results of this year's bountiful harvest will take longer to reach tho manufacturers. The iron men and the glass men will all tell yon that trade is picking up slowly. The comfort in this is that while it is slow it is sure, and such con tributing influences as the settlement of tho tariff fight in favor of protection by McKin ley's election in Ohio, and the conservative reaction to be noted in most of the States, tend to produce an era of prosperity that will endure for some time. It will have been built up'on a sound foundation, and Pitts burg will share in it as largely as any part of the country.'' Canadian Disappointment. Los Angeles Thnes.J The Canadians are disappointed because they have not been provided with a fast mail servico between Gieat Britain and the Dominion equal to that furnished New York. The Canadians should not be too harsh in their criticisms of the home Government for its apparent indifference. After all,, the British authorities may have thought it unnecessary to compel people who sooner or later reach the United States to pass through a Canadian port. POINTS THAT ARE PEESONAL. Leckt, the celebrated historian, has been so unfortunate as to find that he can, write poetry. Mrs. Chanchard places a high value upon Millet's "Angelus." She has insured it lor $140,000. Ex-Senator "William Mahone, of Virginia, has joined the Quay party on their trip to Florida. ' Ole Bull's son, Alexander, is following in his father's footsteps, and will soon be come a professional. . McAllister has a rival in the journal 'istic fleld. Mrs. Burton Harrison has wi it ten two stories of social life in New York. The young man of genius iapot wholly a product of this age. Michael Angelo finished his greatest painting when he was but 30 years of age. 1 Tennyson is inventing a pronouncing dictionary of his own.- Ho insists that "Ralph" 'should be pronounced "Kafe," and rhyme with "laugh" or "chaff." Sam Jones "drove a dray for hire before he became a preacher. His outfit was a small, rickety, rattling, ram-shackled wagon and an old sorrel horse. He finds that preaching pays better than the dray busi ness. Fred Vanderbilt killed half a dozen deer.in the Adirondack! a short time since. It is against the law for anyone to kill more than three deer during the season, but that don't trouble Fred any. He can pay his fine .without difficulty. COBH IB EUROPE. It Can Be Used as a Substitute for Other Kinds of Cereal Food. St. Louis Globe-Democrat. The effort which is being made by the Federal Department of Agriculture to push the sales of American com in Europe de serves the commendation of the whole peo 'ple. Just at present the agent of the Departs ment is at work in Germany, and some suc cess in his endeavors in that quarter 13 looked for with great confidence by the Government. Ho i3 to continue his task, it is understood, for a year or two yet; and in doing this he is to consult with the prin cipal grain importers and commercial bodies in the leading importing countries or Europe. There are reason to expect good results from thij missionary work. Corn has aualties which cannot fail to make it pop ular on the other side of the Atlantic wnen they are fairly understood. It is nutritious and cheap, and can be pre paiedforthe table in a more appetizing Fashion and in a greater variety of ways than anv other cereal. When its good points are thoroughly learned and appreciated abroad the demand for it must immediately and permanently increase. Among the poorer classes of continental Europe, who rely on rye chiefly, corn must prove highly acceptable when once its virtues are made known. It will be a good substitute for rye when that product, as at present, be comes scarce and dear, and when a fair chance is offered for it to reveal itself, it will probably to a large degree dis place rye among those to whom cheapness in the selection of food is the prime consid eration. THE AUSTRALIAN BALLOT. It is an honest ballot law and the Bepuhli can cause won a glorious victory. Why, of course. Springfield Republic-Time. The Australian ballot means more straight tickets and is more favorable to the majori ties than to the minorities in the different counties. Ohio Slate Journal. Yesterday's experience with the secret ballot system waS sufficient to convince the most skeptical that it is a vast improvement upon the old plan of voting. Cincinnati Times-Star. Johij L, Sullivas has returned from Aus tralia, much to the disgust of Americans, who had hoped the Australians would ac cept him as a fair recompense for their bal lot system. Chicago Times. The Australian ballot system is all right. Its results will be felt differently as soon as those who were afraid to venture upon its mysteries find out that it has no mystery about it, but that it is as plain andisimple as the proverbial plkestaff-T-Sfcindiutj Journal, At last it has been demonstrated in Chi cago that it is possible for voters to mark and deposit their ballots without the aid of an array ol "runners" for each political party. It has been proved that ticket-peddlers are not only a useless incumbrance at elections, but a nuisance that every one Is glad to see abolished. Chicago Hews. The Australian ballot in Ohio yesterday was as complete a success as the most san guine of its friends ever claimed it to be. Of course, with every one in the State a novice in the workings of the system, it proved to be slow, ana the returns last night were at least two hours behind as compared with the old method. However, thi3 is but a trifling objection. Toledo Blade. The voters have registered their convic tions in legard to the issues of the day with the same party emphasis that they usually employed in former years. In view of this it 13 evident that the acensation or intimida tion brought against employers of labor in Ohio was groundless. We can thank the Australian system for having demonstrated the fact beyond dispute. Columbus Dispatch. ENGLAND'S POSITION. It Does Not Accord With Action Once Taken by Itself. Chicago Inter-Ocean. "The editorials in the London newspapers regarding this country's difficulty with Chile are somewhat humorous to those who are familiar with England's diplomatic methods under similar circumstances," said Mr. P. S. Condon to a reporter for the Inter Ocean yesterday. "The English newspapers take a highly moral and merciful stand point in the matter.and urge upon the United States the necessity of preserving a tender attitude toward a weaker country. This is all very well, and makes good rhetoric for leader' writers, but in view of the English Government's proverbial hastiness in de manding reparation for real or fancied in sults, such advice seems absurd. I was in Brazil during a similar international dis turbance in 1S64. A drunken British mid shipman was arrested for disorderly con duct. This caused tremendous anger in the En glish breast. About the same time the British man-of-war Prince of Wales was wrecked on the Brazilian coast, near Santa Catherina, and because some poor Brazilian beach-patrollers failed to pick up all of the wreckage rrom the gunboat when it was washed ashore the English Government's anger became positively terrific. As a re sult the British seized for reprisal all of the Brazilian vessels entering the harbor of Bio de Janeiro, and before they were released the Empire of Brazil was compelled to pay an immense indemnity to England. It is the invariable custom of English newspa pers to adopt an ultra-conservative tone in dilating upon the foreign imbroglios of other countries, and a most radical and fierce tone in dwelling upon the international griev ances of England." A VERT COSTLY UPS. Is the Czar's of Sufficient Value to Warrant the Great Expenditure? New York Advertiser. The fact that the Czar of Russia during his brief trip through Germany would not even see the young Emperor William and refused to have anything to do with him, is a matter that may be settled between them selves; and the only result apparent at pre sent is that young William feels that he has peen severely snubbed, and is in very bad rumor about it. And certainly It was very unhandsome behavior on the part of the Czar, considering the extraordinary pains young William took to protect the Czar while passing through Germany. One would suppose that away from home and outsido of his own dominions the Czar would be tolerably safe. But the precautions taken to secure that safety were more extraordinary even than those deemed necessary when the Czar passes from one point to another on the railways of Russia. No doubt the Czar's life is valuable at least to him, and seems to be of some consequence to young Wil liam, who had the Czar's entire route through Germany guarded by soldiers. But what becomes of the alleged "divine-right" business when such human efforts are es sential, not merely to keep a royal ruler on the throne, but to keep bis soul inside of him? A life which requires constant precautions and the employment of an army to protect it, must, after all, be worth very little. What coats so much to keep is hardly worth living. BRITISH FORGBTFUINESS. An Occurrence In Guatemala Called to Eng land's Memory. San Francisco Chronlcle.J When the British press undertakes to show that the Americans engage in bluster-when dealing with weaker nations, and by impli cation that England does not, it calmly ignores the fact that Great Britain has al ways acted the bully in dealing with smnll countries. The San Diego Union recalls the following instance to illustrate the truth of this assertion: In 1882 the British Vice Consul at San Jose, Guatemala, Mr. McGee, was challenged to a boat race to an incoming Pacific Mail steamer by the hoarding officer of the port. Mr. McGee was successful and was on tho gangway ladder of the steamer Just as the boarding officer reached the step, but the two went aboard together. Mr. McGee's success so incensed the officer that he notified the Guatemalan authorities that Mr. McGee had violated the customs law by preceding him aboard the steamer. Mr. McGee was arrested, convictedand punished with 50 lashes on his bare. back. He ex plained the occurrence to his home Govern ment, and within 30 days a British man-of-war was in the port and demanded that the Vice Consul be paid $1,000 for each lash, and that the boarding officer be taken out and shot or the city would be bombarded. The demand was complied with. FRUSTRATED PLANS. Lady Henry Somerset's Widely Advertised Lecture WIU Not Come Off Heraldry the Most Popular Study in Carnegie Li brary Pointed rhotographs Prettily F.'intetl. There was great consternation yesterday in W. C. T. U.circles, when it became known that Lady Henry Somerset would not be here to-day. Late in the afternoon, upon her return from Osborne, Mrs. E. D. C. Mair was advised by wire from Cleveland th.it Lady Henry's engagement in Pittsburg was unavoidably deferred until De cember. The why or how of It not being contained in the telegram, her ladyship's expectant hosts aie at a loss to explain her reasons. But they expect a let ter to-morrow. What rnmniete tlm requit ing embarrassment is the thorough, though necessarily hurried, advertisements which had been made or her two comlne lectures on Sunday. Everywhere, throughout the mill districts, posters had been distributed, and intimation given w here it was thought to be most effective. It is feared, then, that there will be no time to acquaint the general public with the change, and that many will be disappointed on bunday evening. There is also a general feeling, though It finds little expression, that Ladv Henry will hardly be so enthusiastically- received when she comes In December. When the fickle public has Its curious interest ungratifled, it is apt to grow indifferent. Tho lectures, of course, are indefinitely postponed. Apropos of Lady Henry Somerset, who will not 'visit ns to-day, it is curious to note the interest that the democratic people or America have in nobility and gentry. It may be that we regard them somewhat as we do tho curious animals in a menagerie; nevertheless Americans are not indifferent to them. Somebody inquired the other ay at Carnegie Library what was the most widely read book on its shelves. The as tonishing answer was "The Genealogical and Heraldic Dictionary or the Peer age and Baronetage or Great Britain and Ireland," compiled by Sir Bernard Burke, Ulster King at Arms, and containing the pedigrees or the nobility down to baron", royal family and those in the British service.'etc, etc The book is bound in red, and is about six inches long. By right it should be in the alcove, but for the Inquisitive Pittsburger's benefit and the ease of the librarian, it lies on the desk. What the average man or woman wants with the book is a mystery. And wouldn't Andrew Carneeie be shocked to know the nature of the literature his library unwit tingly encourages? The return to Pittsburg of Mrs. J. S. MacConnell as the bride of George S.Young, of Parnassus, was marked by an azrecable reception given by Mr. Young's sister, Mrs. W. J. Peebles. A great many people from town, especially parishioners of the late Rev. Mr. MacConnell, wont up on tho even ing train to Parnassus to present their con gratulations to the newly wedded pair. When Mrs. Young was apas tor's wifc.she w as greatly beloved by her husband's congrega tion, that of the Lawrenceville Presbyterian Church. Among the guests were: Rev. and Mrs. Calkins, Mr. and Mrs. William Peebles, New Castle, Pa.; Mr. and Mrs. John Davis Mr. and Mrs. George V. Milliken, Mr. and Mrs. Charles B. Seaman, Mr. and Mrs. A. C. Foster. Mr. and Mrs. John G. I'ox. Mr. and Mrs. Charles Scoville, Miss Nannie Gillespie, Mrs. Mollie Permar, William Gillespie, Charles Ramsoy. Pittsburg: Mr. and Mrs. James E. Lane, "Mr. and 3Irs. II. W. Clarke, Mr. and Jlrs. Hillis Campbell, Mrs. G. W. Glass, Miss Mame Glass, Miss Campbell, Miss Millie Kerr, Mrs. William Lognn, Miss Sue Becker, Miss Bradt, Miss Dougan, Miss Enwer, Miss Senour, of New Alexan dria; Miss McConnell. or Allegheny; Mrs. Hush Lozan and Mrs. Frederick Knowland. of Logan's Ferry. Mr. and Mrs. Young will be at home henceforth in Parnassus, Alle gheny Valley Railroad. Invitations were issued yesterday by Henri Rollen Parker for the French mission services in the First Presbyterian Church to-morrow afternoon. The services will be even more Interesting than last year, being supplemented by the singing of several good vocalists. Among them are Monsieur M. Lapersteln, who spent tho summer in Paris, and whose singing wasmuch admired a year ago, and Mr. M. D. Dorrington, a member of the Glee Club of tho Western University. Carl Better will play the organ and the sermon as nsual will De preached by Rev. J. Lannitz. The New York Tract So ciety, recognizing the good work done last winter, sends the mission 1,000 tracts, and the Allegheny Bible Society contributes to it 160 French Bibles. Dr. Parker thinks the outlook encouraging. Social Chatter. Messes. Black & "Baibd give a theater party next week to all the men employed by them. Mb. ajtd Mas. Clarke have issued invita tions for a theater party to "The Boston ians" next Friday evening. F. N. Ike3 and his wite arrived in Pitts burg on Tuesday as the guests of H.P.Ecker. As a special favor, Mr. Innes will play a trombone solo this day week at the after noon recital in Carnegie Library. Mas. J. G. Beshett. of South Highland avenue, gave a reception yesterday for her daughter. Miss Bennett and niece, Mrs. Joseph Phillips. A number of receiving ladies aided Mrs. Bennett in dispensing her charming hospitality. THAT ARGENTINE DEBT. It Is So Large That It May Have to Be Repudiated. Cleveland Leader. The public indebtedness of the Argentine Republic and of the various provinces con stituting that country is equal to about $:20 for every man, woman and child living within its boundaries. At the close of the Civil War the debts of" the United States and of the States did not amount to more than $90 per capita. In other words, the public Indebtedness or the American people when their burden was greatest did not amount to hair so much, in proportion to their number, as the load or debt under which the Argentines are stag gering. It need scarcely be said that the ability or the people or this country to pay their ob ligations va; vastly greater, man ror man, than that or the inhabitants or the Argen tine Republic, many or whom are only semi-civilized. In the light or such figures it is easy to see that repudia tion on a largo scale is almost inevitable, despite tho natural wealth and wonderful reeources of the La Plata Valley, and it is clear that rnblic bankruptcy and individual ruin, in many cases, must for a long time to come blight the prosperity of a region which, but for the folly or wholesale inflation, would have enjoyed very bright prospects and almost universal comfort. WAGES WERE RAISED. Twelve Per Cent Added Since the McKin ley Bill Has Been Operating. New York Press. Repeated challenges from tho free trade press to produce instances where wages have been raised in this country since the McKinley bill went into effect have been as repeatedly met by reports from various parts of the country of increases in small lines or business affected by that measure. It was not to De expected that wages would be increased generally until the unemployed labor or the country had been brought into employment. Nevertheless the instances in which wages nave been raised continue to be recorded. One or the places where wages have been increased is at Dolgeville, N. Y., which is so near the center of free trade literary manu facture for this country in this city that it has been overlooked by tho fiee traders. They always see easiest things which area long way off and not susceptible of easv proof or disproof. The Dolgevillo Herald is authority for the statement that "the wages have been raised 13 per cent sinco the pas sage of the McKinley bill" in that manu facturing village, "while tho hours of work have been reduced from ten to nine and a half." The Only Square Contest. Chicago Inter-Ocean. Get down off the stump, pull off your coat, and get to business. The only great national contest made squarely in this campaign "shall the McKinley law be sustained?" has been settled by the vote of Ohio. Grover Has No Rivals. at. Lonla Globe-Democrat (Rep.) Grover Cleveland will have no rivals In the Presidental Convention from tots sec tion of the country. Campbell is only a reminiscence now and Boies never could or can be a possibility except for the second place on the ticket. CURIOUS CONDENSATIONS. Missouri had 6,728,000 acres in corn tils year. Skating parties are all the rage now ia Northern Michigan. During October 4St,l.V barrels of salt were inspected in Michigan. Among the recenasricultural products or Georgia is a Ipotato that was "half yellow yam and half red Spanish potato." There 13 a street in Mexico named "Love." It is said to be the favorite resi dence street for newly married couple3. A farmer in Missouri grafted a tomato vine into a potato vine and got two crops, one from the top and the other from tha roots. Hymnologiits give 1697 as the year in which'Bishop Ken wrote the "Doxology" as the last verse of his morning and evening hymns. The total police force of England and Wales ia to-day composed of very nearly 30,000 men or all ranks. Of this total 15,270 are metropolitan police. It is estimated that there are between 7,000 and 8.000 colored residents of this city who were born in siavery.andsomeof whom grew to maturity in slavery. It is estimated that the right hand of a good compositor in taking type from tha frame to the stick while setting up 9.000 ema in eight hours covers a distance of 36,000 feet. Arabs, on discovering a litter of cubs, watch for the departure or the lioness and then rob her of the whelps. They post them selves on a high cliff, or in a tree overlook ing the lair. Among the "curios" recently displayed at an exhibition in London was a pair of "dog-tongs" presumably used by old-timn sextons for the capture of dogs which had, strayed into church. Farmers in the vicinity of South Haven, Micb., are obliged to draw water from Laka Michigan. The severe drought has caused hundreds of cisterns and manv wells to go dry. South Haven is in a dry county. One of the arguments of Minneapolis against St. Paul is that by building an ica palace as an advertisement it attracted at tention to the frigidity of the climate and checked immigration to the Northwest. Hunters near Carthage, 111., have un earthed two tablets bearing the following inscriptions: "June 11, 1713. I Pnts Hop in Ocobock hop in tis will. L. D. I." and "Tratl in lo. Thev have been sent" to the Smith sonian Institute. The Danes do not require the makers of oleomargarine to stamp the kegs in which, it is pacLed, but they do require that it bo nearly white in order to distinguish it from, butter. Anv Dane can tell at a slance the difference between butter and oleomargar ine. Mahommed's birthday has been duly celebrated in tho metropolis of the British. Empire by the "Anjuman-i-Islam. London" a society consisting or Indian Mussnlman gentlemen residing in Encland ivine a dinner in honor of "the prophet in thellol born Restaurant. Chile is a great country for-newspapcrs; there are more 40 or them in Valparaiso and Santiago, and there aro others in all the head towns of departments. Chile has many literary men. inclndinvr a regiment or poets, and also many scientific men and a multi tude of statesmen and generals. A Chicago drummer, who has jnst re turned from Madagascar, where he tried to sell mining machinery, says that a mine su perintendent lauched in his face when ho named the price of a drill, and said that ha could hiro a whole gang or men to work ror him for a lifetime ftr that amount ofmonev. Laborers receive Ohly 6 to 10 cents a-day for 11 hours' work. Last week the remains of Mrs. Archia Cox were disinterred. She was buried on, her husband's farm in Benton county, Mo., 33 years ago. The coffin was in pretty good condition, also the silk dress in which tho deceased was buried. Tbo strange thin? about the remains was that about one-half the body was turned to stone and the bal ance left a skeleton. A native bride in Hindostan is loaded down with all the jewelry she can get. She has a girdle at the waist, numerous rings, anklets, bracelets and bells, and decorations for the hair. Althouch she has never seen her intended husband, she soes and sits be side him on the day or the ceremony. Tiia priest takes a corner or the bride's veil and ties it to the groom's shawl, and they ara married. Since the Mikado of Japan.permitted his subj ects to emigrate to other eountres, nearly 100,000 or them have left: their na tive land. There are about 20,000 of them In Hawaii and more of them arrive every month. There is a larse number of them la Australia. They are to be found in various countries of the" Asiatic continent, and soma of them are in Europe. There are abon& 2,000 of them in California, and others ara constantly arriving there to work in tha vineyards. Three colossal statues, ten feefhieh, 6t rose granite, have just been found atAbou kirafewfeet below the surface. The dis covery was made from indications furnished, to the Government by a local investigator, Daninos Pasha. The first two represent Iii one group Rameses II. and Queen Hentmara seated on the same throne. This Is unique among Egyptian statues. This third statua represents Rameses standing upright in military attire, a scepter in his hand and a crown upon his head. Both bear hiero glyphic inscriptions, and both have been thrown from their pedestals face downward. Their 9ite is on the ancient CapoZephyrium, near the remains of the Temple of Venus at Arsinoe. Relics of the early Christians have) been found in the same locality. Minnesota has an electric well neara place called Red Wing. According to tho story the drillers had drilled about 150 feeB when they lost their drill rods and a dia mond drill. The whole business had dropped, to nowhere in an instant. There was quits a force of air coming outof the hole, and tha men said there was no use going onv further, because there wosn'tany bottom. They con cluded to fish ror the rods and drill, but as soon as the rods were dropped into the hole they began to shiver in a queer way. One of the men took hold or the bar with a pair of leather gloves, and he was knocked down. Then another man tonched the rope and got a shock, because it was wet. "There seem3 to be a perfect natural storehouse or electri city. It is generated in some way in that pocket where the drills went. PICKINGS FROM rCCK. Insurance Magnate I think you had bet ter cancel some of oar big risks at TinderTille. Policy Clerk What Is the trouble? Insurance Magnate A blank jnstcamelnwttl the question: "Whai protection have you front Are?" answered, "It rains sometimes." Lord Howlong American society does not recognize the principle of birth, does it? Mr. McGalluster Oh, yes! If a man Inherits nil money he can get into the Four Hundred. "Whene'er "the last .shall be the first," I shall grow wealthy fast: For, when I bet a horse will win. He's sure to come in tast. i'l haven't seen Maunders for a week or two." -No: he's very sick. He went to a falth-cura , meeting and took a severe cold." Gaspar (during the procession) It is a terrible thing for women and children to be in a crowd like this. Caspar Yes, Indeed: when they have no one with them to protect them from the police. I sit here with my sweet cob-pipe Old rrlend. how row! yon are! Yet. how I wish I had the ca-,h To buy me a cigar. Toung Hyson But, father, I've got to spend enough to keep up the reputation of our family for "style." you know. Old Hyson-Don't try to fool me. Jack; when this 'ere member o' your faintly wu' your age, thar wuz no e'ynenses for style. You jes leave tha style business me an the girls! The Young Barber But a feller can't talk poll lies without fear or offendln some one ha don't know. The Wise Barber Don't ever mention -names, you know; but growl about "political bosslsm, in NewYorK." Each man '11 think you're abusing tha other fellow's party. As she chatted o'er the telephone 1 thought she must be "slick;" utt w heu I saw her photograph It made ine deathly sick. Physician (to nis patient, a hurried busi ness man on the verge or bankruptcy) And above all, preserve, an entire equanimity of mind; so cares; no'troublc. FatlcnJtJ-Thanks, doctor, for prescription. By the way, where can I have It put np? "Dick Skinner says marriage is a fallnre." 'A failure? I thought he married a fortune?" "Yes but the girl that went with It ha joi pended payment." .5'; Kfe". &.rJ&JJrs IrS '&Sfe5rFg?ffi-g 18jS2!i85m&m&iMMMJ n
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers