B "-,"? St' S3 ESTABLISHED FEBRUABT 8. 1S46. Vol. (. X0.K8. "Fmered at Pittsburg Postofllce. November l&s; at second-class mutter. Business Office Corner Smithf.eld and Diamond Streets. News Rooms and Publishing House 78 and 80 Diamond Street, in New Dispatch Building. EASTERX; ADVEUTISINR OFFICE. BOOM a, TrtlBUNE BUILDING. NEWTOKK. where com plete files of THE DISPATCH can alwxvs be found. rorejgn advertisers appreciate the onrcmence. Home advert! ere and friends ofTHE DISPATCH. while in 2ew York, are also made welcome. THE DISPATCHU nsvlnrltm cU al Brentimn's, I Onun Square. Jie Turt. annn Ave de VOpem. Pnrit, France, where anyone uio hat been aisap pointdata hotel retes stand can obtain it. TERMS OF THE DISPATCH. rOSTAGE TOEE IS THE UNITED STATES. DArLT DiKrjiTrH, One Tear. f 00 Dailt Dispatch, Per Quarter..... 2 00 Dailt DisrATcn. "One Month TO Dailt Dispatch Including Sunday, lyear.. 10 00 Daily Dispatch, Including Sunday, s rn'ths. 5 so Dailt Dispatch including Sunday, lm'th.. 90 FCMAT DISPATC2. One Year. 2 SO "U eeklt DisrATcn, One Year. I 25 The Dailt Dispatch Is delivered by carriers at IS rente per week, or. Including Sunday Edition, at 50 centt per weeV. FITTSBUEG. MONDAY, NOV. 2, 18SL THE ELECTIONS. T.atest and most accurate Election Ketnrns will be given In THE DISPATCH early next "Wednesday morning. Agents and News dealers shonlrt order early. Oar arrange ments for retarns from all sources guarantee prompt and reliable news. A SCHEME TO DEFEAT. The popular mind is pretty cleariy made up as to the constitutional convention project which is to be voted upon to morrow; but it is yet doubtful whether the ptrong reasons "why it should be emphati cally negatived are fully understood. Especially as there is a respectable ele ment supporting the convention from a sincere though mistaken belief that some alterations for the better can be secured Jn the fundamental law, it is worth while to '-review the points bearing on the question. In the first place, it should be remem Iwred that the present Constitution is an admirable document only seventeen years old. The conditions of politics and so ciety in our State have not undergone any Mich complete change as to render this instrument antiquated or obsolete. On Ihe contrary, the cases in which corpora tions have been permitted to aggress upon public rights, or politicians to betray public trusts, have been notably due to 1 lie fact that the Constitution has been ig nored, and that legislation to enforce its provisions has been steadily refused by the Legislature. "What reason is there to expect that the influences which forseven 1een years have elected Legislatures that ignore the constitutional provisions will do better by a constitutional convention ? Labor leaders who imagine that the con vention will furnish new and more stringent provisions against corporate abuses should not forget that the author of the bill is the man who first drew public attention to himself by a speech opposing a bill to prevent railroad discrimination, in which he declared that he did not in dorse the constitutional provisions re straining corporations. The bill forms the convention so as to give the influences he represents control of it unless there is a political revolution at this election. The nominations of delegates have with a few notable exceptions named men notable for their corporate and political affilia tions; and the most probable result of the convention, if it should 'be held, would be the abrogation of the salutary provisions which now restrain the schemes of cor porations and politicians. Finally, the convention project deserves rejection because it is based on a false pre tense. It was alleged that a constitutional amendment is necessary to secure ballot reform, which is wholly unfounded. The last Legislature could have given the peo-" pie genuine and effective ballot reform if it had wished to. But it did not wish to; and, therefore, turned out a bogus and mutilated law. There is no reason for thinking that the same influences which predominated the Legislature will do bet ter in a constitutional convention. These reasons, and more that could be amplified, if the public did not already understand them, should inspire every man, when he casts his vote to-morrow, to free that a ballot against the convention is not omitted. MR. EGAN'S P4.KT. Speaking of the demand from someanti Administratiou journals for the recall of Minister Egan from Chile, the "Washington Post says that Mr. Egan is not the issue, for two reasons. "One is," says that jour nal, "that the Junta has not asked for his recall; the other that the Government at "Washington has not insisted on his reten tion." This is probably correct, unless there is foundation for that report that the Junta lias asked his recall because he suppressed the news of fcenorMontt's appointment as Chilean Minister at "Washington. But it is nevertheless the fact that the position of Mr. Egan K a vital factor in the present i-ituation. There is the gravest reason for insisting on exact information as 10 whether the communications of the United States Government to Chile and the answers of the Chilean Govern ment have Iwen transmitted through Mr. Egan, without being colored by the preju dices and animosities which affect that of ficial's relations with the Junta. It K easy to see how the negotiations of the two governments could be affected by t-uch a medium, so as to give an offensive tone to communications which were mod derate and conservative in the original. There is no information that the full text of the dispatches has reached either gov ernment, that answer of the Chilean Gov ernment, which is so widely taken as bel ligerent and defiant, being notoriously Mr. Eean's pharaphrase of it There is the mosturgent reason forthe inquiry whether the moderate dispatch of President Har rison was or was not colored by Mr. Egan's personality to as to make it blustering and offenshe; and second, whether the cold and defiant tone of the version of the hilean answer, which has been published in tliis country, is not as much due to Mr. Egan's translation and condensation as to the document itself. Unfortunately, there are several distinct reasons for insisting on having this doubt cleared up before proceeding to ulterior measures. The Dispatch has already alluded to telegrams from Chile, represent ing Mr. Egan as presenting "demands for reparation" accompanied by threats as'to what will follow if reparation Ls refused. This is backed up by the reference in the published version of the reply to the United States Government as "formulat- i". demands and uttering threats," an I assertion which would be impossible if a faithful translation of President Har rison's moderate and guarded instructions had been laid before the Chilean Govern ment. That document stated the facts as they were reported to the Administration, inquired for qualifying facts in the posses sion of the Chilean Government, and ex pressed confidence that the latter would make such reparation as the occasion might require. That was alltbat the oc casion required; while to tinge the nego tiation with peremptory demands and threats would be the surest way to make reparation impossible. Beyond that Mr. Egan's paraphrase of the Chilean auswer gives it a tone of refusing to satisfy our request for an investigation; and the faith fulness of this report is rendered doubtful by the telegram of the Chilean Govern ment to Senor Montt, which shows a de sire to have the United States informed that the iudicial investigation into the riot is being pushed with a view of punish ing the guilty parties. Unfortunately, too, there are several reasons for doubting Mr. Egan's accuracy. Besides his impulsive and hot headed character, his reports during the Chilean civil war damaged his rep utation for strict fideliry in state ments of fact; and since then the charge has been made that he delayed in forming the State Department of the ap pointment of Senor Montt as Chilean Minister at "Washington for purposes of his own. Beyond that there is the fact that by embroiling the two countries in war, he could escape from the difficult po sition in which lie has placed himself by his partisanship for Balmaceda, with more political credit in the United States than if he w ere recalled as persona rum grata. -There should be no disposition to con vict Mr. Egan of such a course unheard; but there is sense in the assertion of the New York Herald that the exact text of the communications between the two governments should decide the matter. The United States must insist on respect to its flag and protection to its seamen. But it should not let itself be embroiled in a South American war, and ruin Its com merce with that continent until it is cer tain that a moderate communication prop erly presented has been received with re jection and defiance. OKTHODOXT IX THE COURTS. The practice of carrying disputes over church doctrine into the courts of law is a novel feature for this country; but it has been resorted to in one of the prominent cases of what is irreverently referred to as "heresy hunting," and our special tele grams inform the public that the courts are to be appealed to in another. The Andover case, which was the first, was decided against the orthodox disciplinar ians last week. The case of the Union Theological Seminary of New Tork is the other, and this time it is the upholders of the strict and unvarying doctrine, who, undeterred by the ill-success of their Massachusetts brethren in that cause, are to ask the courts to maintain their verdict against Prof. Briggs. Of course, none of these contestants intend to ask for a judicial ruling on I orthodoxy, although in the decision of such cases it seems difficult to avoid trenching on that knotty subject The determination of the legal right-of each denomination to rule its own theo logical institutions is the ground on which the Briggs case is to be made a legal one. But the not ill-founded apprehension of the courts, that they may get into the bog of doctrinal difference, was illustrated by the promptness with which the Massachusetts court threw out the Smith case on a technicality, and the same influence promises for the complain ants in the Briggs case anything but a smooth road for their suit Nevertheless, we are informed that the suit is certain, and that it will be pressed with the vigor and skill that have character ized the anti-Briggs movement "What must be must; but it is necessary to re mark on general principles that the less the courts meddle with the churches, "and the less the churches meddle with the courts, the better it will be for both. A NEW POET. The rise of a new poet is always an in teresting event The letter of The Dis patch's "Washington correspondent in Sunday's issue concerning the poetic work of Mr. Hovey, a hitherto unknown genius, has an especial value as bringing to the public notice for the first time a composer of verse who may be one of the lights of twentieth century literature. The blank verse drama on the Arthurian legends, from which extracts were given, is an am bitious effort, all the bolder because it clearly provokes a comparison with Tennyson's work on the same theme; but it exhibits a talent that fully justifies the lofty aim. The future career of Mr. Hovey, will be watched with interest, as his name is among the possibilities of a new liter ary era, which shall rise above the charm ing trivialities that form the most promi nent characteristic of the fin de siecle poets. THE AK3IOB TESTS. The tests of armor plate which were made on Saturday add another interesting step to the progress of the steel industries of the country in turning out first-class naval material. The demonstrations made by the tests so far have successfully estab lished a series of very Important conclu sions, some of which go far toward revolu tionizing the naval position of the world. The first and most important of these was the proof that the compound plates largely used in the construction of British armored vessels are the most deficient of all modern armor. As this proves a con siderable share of England's armored ves sels to be inefficiently protected, it raises a doubt whether in the test of actual war fare her naval supremacy might not turn out less overpowering than is generally es timated. The superiority of all steel plates to the Cammell compound having beenshown.it was next proved that the alloy of the steel by five per cent of nickel gives the metal a slight malleability, which diminished the tendency to crack. Finally, Saturday's tests were intended to show the relative values of high carboniza tion and low carbonization, as well as to compare the resisting power of American made plates with the foreign ones previ ously tested. On the latter point the test was especi ally gratif ying. The plates made by the Bethlehem Iron "Works and Carnegie, Phipps& Co. showed a resisting power fully equal, if not superior, to the best armor of foreign make. As to carboniza tion, the test, while perhaps not fully conclusive!vas strongly in favor of the high carbon plates, which hae a much greater resisting power, though the low carbon steel has less tendency to' crack. Another point seems to be established by the tests, which should not be overlooked. That is that the best plates now made can be penetrated by high power projectiles at close range. As this makes absolute pro tection by the weight of armor that can be carried by sea-going battle ships a diffl- cult, if not impossible task, it suggests the superiority which can he given to coast and harbor defenders, and the wisdom of tWe policy which shapes naval expenditure. with a view to defense. Thk rain who is convinced, m most men are, that he does not approve of the expen diture or half a million dollar in tinkering the State Constitution -with the prospect of emasculation, should not omit to-morrow to see that his ballot is cast in proper shape against the Constitutional Convention. There is a tinge of mawkishness in the lamentations of some of our Philadelphia cotemporarles over the fact that the law against illicit liqnor selling fixes a minimum sentence by which a woman convicted of keeping a speak-easy for the support of an invalid husband and small children had to De sent to Jail. It is well known that the minimum sentence was made necessary be cause the misplaced leniency of courts re duced the law to a dead letter. It is a pub lic duty to see that the woman's family does not come to want; but there is no public wis dom in alleging that a person who takes up an illegal calling to earn bread for her fam ily should escape punishment. Senator Quay should have known better than to address the Comptroller of the Cur rency for any information connected with the Keystone Bank. The force, of habit is too strong to permit that official to tetany in formation get ont concerning that mysteri ously bursted bank. The Ohio Democrats are hard up for money, it is alleged, and the Washington Post, which ought to know better, asserts that "cash plays a much more im portant part than tracts in a close political campaign." Where a fight has been argued so as to arouse the people to a consideration of the issues, cash is a minor matter except for the enrichment of the political workers. If McKiniey wins it will not be cash, but the appeal to the rea son of the people, that gives him the victory. The majority of tha Senate was on Fri day successful in knocking the investigation "into the middle of the next week;" but they have yet to discover whether their action was not equally effective in subjecting the party interests to a knock-out at abontthe same date. "Why should League -President-Con-grcssman-and-State-Senator Jack Bobinson slug Mr. Frank Wiljing Leach in the optic? Has Sir. Bobinson added to bis other offices that of knocker-out-in-general, or is the act typical of the black eye which the Senatorial action administers to the reputation of the Bepublican managers? Does any scoffing person recommend the utility of whitewash to Mr. Leach? A now at an Alliance meeting in Arkan sas, at -which shot guns and Winchesters were used, with a list of five killed,serves to controvert and confound the slanderers who have been asserting that interest in Alliance matters is less lively out West than it has been. The political organs are putting large amounts of money into circulation through out New York in their minds. The Flower bribery fund is $500,000, and the Bopublicans have taken the task in hand of putting $1,100,000 where it will do the most good. If abundance of flat money will secure pros perity New Tork ought to boom this week. "With Budyard Kipling and Max O'Bell both in the United States at the same time, the prospects for a future enlargement of the stock of information about our customs and manners by some novel and original ob servations are more than brilliant. Fouh ships laden with American exports were loading at Xw Tork for Chile the day that the war talk was loudest. It may be well to bo sure that our cants belli is not the produot of Mr. Egan's imagination, before destroying that trade, together with a large share of the reciprocal commerce with other South American nations. So the French Chamber of Deputies adopts a measure making railway directors responsible for accidents. They seem to order these things better in France. Now that Colonel Elliot F. Shepard has abandoned his projects of war on the Sonth and the Chicago Sunday-breakers, in order to turn his threatening brow .against Chile, the Chileans -will promptly perceive that there is nothing left for them to do but come down from their high horse and apologize. "Wli.lt the cold wave make it chilly weather for the non-partisans or freeze out the StraightoutsT "When we read the accounts of that elec tion at Cork, the campaign vagaries of New Tork and Ohio look like the mildnesses of a summer Sunday School picnlo by compari son. There begins to be a doubt whether the Irish factions would not prefer to beat each other than to win success for Ireland. SNAP SHOTS IN SEASON. The man who wants the earth is satisfied if he secures tjbe dust. The political prophets who are at sea to-day will be on Salt Elver to-morrow. If Harrison should win the Presidental race again he will undoubtedly enter Baby McKee for the futurity stakes. Yes, yes, my son, the work's all done, We'll know to-morrow night The names of those the voters chose And who is out of sight. The good citizen should remember early to-morrow morning what he is here for. If the Delsartean instructors would teach women how to hold their tongues instead of their heads much of the abuse showered on the mother-in-law would cease. People who are always in a hurry should sit on rash chairs. The people have a splendid opportunity to-morrow to notify the practical politicians that they are in earnest. She is Dolly, the farmer's daughter, But she doesn't help rake the hay; Nor does she drive ducks to the water, Because she's not built that way. Tall girls are fashionable now. IT they can only crowd out their long-tongued sis ters we will be closer to Paradise. Sailing ships carry a spanker, and it's perfectly right to class them in tho feminine gender. I love her, I love her, and who shall dare To tell me she powders and bleaches her hair. "We can assure our 'neighbors across the sea that the American pig will not act liko a hog in Europe. .An aching void The empty stomach. Wren the law is used to help along a farce it will sooner or later lose its force. Gold dots on bridal veils are becoming more fashionable. Capital Seeking Investment, Grand Baplds Telegram -Herald. 1 Calamity howlers bewail the stringency of the times but in the money market, the pulse of trade, there is an active demand for Investment securities, showing that cap ital is anxious to find its was into use. With capital already seeking that class of invest ments, what good to the people would be an Increase of money. Gales Produced by Oratory. New Tork Commercial Advertiser. It does not seem to have occurred to me teorologists to connect the gale off our coast with an excess of campaign oratory. Thep are prone to overlook manifest ex- ilanbtions. THE'CflURClUP THRPEOPLE. IWKOTZXFOBTnZDtSFATCH.l There, seems at-first tight no particular connection between Carthusians and Coven anters, unless It is to be found In the fact that both names begin with the tame letter. Beyond that, there seems no more actual likeness than is' applied in tha classio con undrum about the elephant and the brick: Why is an elephant like a brick? Becansa he can't climb a tree! ' It is possible, however, to support almost any absurd statement by some sort of plaus ible argument. There was a book published, only the other day, which proved conclu sively that the whole Old and New Testa ments were actually composed by Benedic tine monks in the thirteenth oentury. These holv men sat in some secluded cloister, with a stylus and a parchment, and beginning with the first chapter of' Genesis wrote straight on, making it all np as they went along, to the last chapter of the Bevelation of St. John the Divine. There never was any Abraham nor Isaac nor Jacob, never any Joshua nor David nor Jeremiah, never any Moses nor Malachi nor Paul, nor one greater than them all. The Benedictine monks made it all up, as good Mr. Spalding made up the Book of Mormon, out of whole cloth. There were no Hebrews, according to this Ingenious writer, until the tenth cen tury! Evidently, we cannot believe all that we read In books. Print is not proof. Or else Bacon wrote Shakespeare, and the Garden of Eden was at the North Pole, and Jeru salem never existed. When Monks Were "Plenty in Edinburgh. However, there is some connection be tween Covenanters and Carthusians. Of course, one may find a mystio link between monks and non-conformists in the fact that John Knox was Duried in ground that had long ago been blessed by the recitation of monastio benedictions, and that the Solemn League and Covenant was first publicly read and signed in old Gray friars Church in Edin burgh. One finds some difficulty in imagin ing monks in Edinburgh. There are plenty of plaids and kilts and tartans and bare knees to be met in those picturesque streets, but no cowls nor ecclesiastic gowns nor pen dant crosses nor tonsured heads. Still.tbere was once a time when monks were as plenty in this Presbyterian Edinburgh as they are on the canvases in the old picture gal leries. And my contention is that the Presbyterians have simply taken their places; that the formidable list of religious divisions which fills such a considerable space in the Pittsburg directory, simply represents a similar list which would have been needed in a mediaeval town when Pittsburg was part of the primeval forest. For Presbyterians, and United Presbyteri ans, and Methodists ana Baptists, write Benedictines, and Cistercians, and Carthus ians, and Franciscans. That comes about in this way. In'the Middle Ages the monastio orders were the refuge that men had out of the bonds of ecclesiastical conformity. Human nature does not greatly change from century to century. Ever since our restless forefathers colonized Eden and got expelled out of it, there have been discontented people. Re ligion has a tendency to make men discon tented. There aie always dissatisfied re ligionists who think that they are not good enough themselves, and there are always other dissatisfied religionists these gener ally in majority who feel that other people are not good enough. The imperfections of our neighbors have always vexed tne human conscience. A Perennial Experiment. These discontented religionists have al ways wanted to get away by themselves a desire which their neighbors have In most instances been quite willing to have grati fied. They have aspired to build np little fenced-in heavens here and there, and to be gin the world over again perfectly good. All these experiments have, of course, failed. Last of all has come Satan also. ''The devil a monk would be." And the other line that rhymes ith that has followed as the next chapter in the history, and the attempted heaven has proved a pretty poor sort of heaven, after all. Still, the good people have kept on trying, I have two pieces of stone" which I like to look at side "by side; one from the ruined wall of St. Mary's Abbey, at tork, and the other from a ruined wall of Fountain's Abbey, at Bipon. The people who built that first wall were discontented people who hoped to set those .b tones be tween them and an unworthy world, and to keep the kingdom of God inside. The peo ple who built that second wall were discon tented with tho life that was lived within the first, and -went off into the woods to try that perennial experiment over again. These good malcontents of the old time, however, were all within the boundaries ot the one church. They were kept in by tho wisdom of that wise mediaeval church, which allowed these opportunities for indi vidual preferences, and constructed these safety valves for religious discontent, ir anyone objected to elaborate ser vices, and had scruples about the use of organs, there were the United Pres byterian monks ready to receive him the Cistercians; and he could satisfy bis taste and his conscience, and stay inside the one great church. The monastic orders were the refuge of that nonconformist spirit which is forever whispering, for good or evil, in the heart.3 of men. They were a part of the secret of the unity of the medieval church. Tbey are a part of the secret to-day of the great successor of that church in this country, and help to explain its attraction for such various minds, and its hold uoon them. The Soman Church does not insist upon uniformity. Wisdom of the Popes. Foolish it is, to try to make all people, like the soldiers in a toy regiment, of the same height, of the same features, of the same attitude. We may have our opinion of the mediaeval Popes, but they were wiser than a good many modern Protestants whose names we are reading nowadays in the daily papers. The effect of the Protestant policy of conformity has been division. The monastio orders have been succeeded in Protestant countries by the religious de nominations. Under a wider, wiser, and consequently more Christian manage ment all these various sects, with all their peculiarities, would be in cluded as orders in the one great united church. The Presbyterians would be Prot estant Benedictines, the Methodists would be Protestant Franciscans, the Covenanters would be Protestant Carthusians. The old places of St. Dominic, of St. Francis of Assist, of St. Bernard, of St. Ignatius Loyola, would be taken by St. Martin Luther, and St. John Calvin, and St. John Knox and St. John Wesley. We will see that one of these days, after we have had enough ecclesiasti cal tiials to teach us some Christian sense. We will see that splendid comprehension, that fine inclusion of all differences and all temperaments, that place for every man and every man in his place, in the United Church of the twentieth century. All this I thought, as I looked over an article in a current number of the At'antle Hordhly which, under the title 'The Ascetic Ideal," described the strange life of St. Jerome. IheAUaiUlc is always cotempor ary, and level with the times, sometimes ahead of a good many of us. It has recently gtvon ns a series of notable studies in biography, of which the paper on Lincoln by Carl Schurz, attracted perhaps the most attention. The October number, which I am now reading, contains in its table of contents the names of Sir John Macdonald, and James Bussell Lowell,, men dead only a day or two. And here beside them is this old St. Jerome, who departed this uncom fortable life fourteen hundred and seventy one years, one month and two days ago this morning. What can possibly make St. Jerome cotemporaryr What can set EusebiusHieronymus and John Macdonald here together! ' Human nature ls always cotemporary. And there was a great deal of human nature in this old Jerome. The past becomes pres ent when it is written in the manner of the writers who tell this old story in these new pages. History, as wa, conceive of it to-day, is the young Prince who makes his way through the hedge of thorn and sets every thing to living and breathing and moving again in the old place of the sleepers. St. Jerome is as real as if he lived in Pittsburg. The Problem Before the Church. Jerome was a monk. He waa the leader in all this Western world, of that old way I out of the bonds 'of conformity. If he bad lived' In the seventeenth century he' would have founded a sect. Jerome was a popular preacher in Borne. He had a large Bible class of young ladies, and taught them that they ought never, never to think of getting married. All the young men in Borne hated him. In fact, he hal to leave the town, and move away to Bethlehem, where he spent the rest of his life saying his prayers, read ing his Bible, and abusing his neighbors doing all three with eqnal industry, con scientiousness and Christian enthusiasm. But be stayed in the church. That is the moral of it. The church had room in it in that old day. for that ascetic, eccentric, even abusive1 saint. And lie proved of immense service to the -church. He translated the Bible into that Latin form which Is to-day the authorized version in theBoma'n Cath olic Church. The problem of the chnroh, it seems to me, ought not to De how to get people out, bnt how to get all the different people, In all their different ways to work, and keep them in. There it something the matter with an ecclesiastical sys'tem which has no room In it for an earnest man. Though the man have as many angles to his mind as the old Boman tower at Tork, there ought to be some comer, in a churchbnilt after the right pattern, where the man will fit. THE C0TJBT OF LYNCH. It Is Freely Commented Upon by an Old Country Paper. Edinburgh Judicial Bevtew. Probably lynch law is indigenous to Amer ican soil. Some of its leflnementsmaybe due to red Indian sources. ItsLycurgus was one John Lyneb, of Irish race, a farmer, perhaps a Justice of the peace, who flour ished in Virginia or Carolina in the seven teenth or eighteenth century. It is said that he was recognized as- Judge over a wide dis trict, and chastised offenders by summary floggings, a punishment lynch law in its modern development retains. The court of lynch consists of a lawless multitude, occa sionally drunk, always savage, Impelled by a common desire to maltreat or kill some object of their dislike. The number of Judges varies with the force necessary to carry out their will. For they are accusers, Judges, executioners, and legislators all in one and at once. Its procedure cannot be reproached with delay. No charge ls made, no proof taken, no defense allowed. Jn the case of a for eigner Ignorant of the language, any oppor tunity ot defendinghlmself would be clearly supeifluous. Eveu tho identity of the ac cused is lert to chance. Everything is arbi, trary and undefined. Occasionally, to induce contesslon, torture is lesorted to. The pun ishment, however, is the most interesting, and the only protracted part of the proceed Inns. At San Antonio, on the 7th of March last, lynchers dipped an alleged thief in pe troleum, set fire to him, "lighting up the sur rounding country," and alter a sufficient en joyment of his agonies,.drew him up by the neck. Few countiles have been fiee from occasional outbreaks of an excited populace. In the United States, however, the tendency drifts toward creating the casual will of any temporary majority into a standard of right and wrong. What valueis set on individual liberty in a community like New Orleans, where killing is no murder, if a sufficient number of citizens of standing take part In it, and subservience to 'the "olvium ardor prava.Jubentlum" is the special duty and virtue of ministers of Justice? KNOWN TO THE WORLD. Mr. and Mrs. J. Boberx McKee and their children have arrived in Washington after a visit of several weeks to Auburndale, Mass. They were met at the station by the President, Mrs. Harrison aud Mrs. Dimmick and taken to the White House. Eugene "Wetchet, of Dayton, O., al lows all working girls to ride for half fare on bis street 1 all way, and to say that he is popular but faintly expressos it. Ex-Matoe Hewitt is trying to make up his mind to vote for Fassett. He won't vote for Flower anyhow, and finds the Be publican pill rather hard to swallow. Mbs. MackAY has returned to London, from Scotland where she spent the atumn and is installed for the winter in her big town mansion in Carlton house terrace. The marriage is about to take place be tween Mr. John George Cox, heir to the Broxwood estate in Herefordshire, England and Mrs Mary Porteous, of New Orleans. Mme Nevada's little daughter Mignon, when asked by a visitor how she managed to pass the time, said; "Sometimes I play with my dolly, but usually I meditate over mamma's career." John "W. Mackat is out on the Corn stock lode again, as hard at work as in the days when he was foreman of one of the mines (Consolidated Virginia) and wore a red flannel shirt and rough boots. General HAves is expected to visit South Carolina in November. If he goes to Charleston he will be the first ex-President to visit that city since ex-President Polk stopped there in 1819 when on his way home to Tennessee. The report comes from Paris that Charles T. Terkes, the street car baron, has spent $l,0O0,C00 in the purchase of works of art. The Chicago patrons of the cars may reflect on the truth of the adage that "many a nickel makes a mickle." Arthur Balfour, the new leader of the British Parliament, is a thorough Tory, cool, reticent, self-possessed, plucky, full of facts, ready in debate, complete master of himself and the situation. Besides, he can play golf like fury and ls a batchelor. Should Bead It All the Time. Freeport Journal. Two-thirds of the overseers of the poor of Indiana county have signed a petition ask ing a vote on the poor house question, and, singular as it may seem, the New opposes the measure. The News people ought to read the recent articles In The PrrrsBimo Dispatch on the present method of keeping our poor. DEATHS HEBE AND ELSEWHEBE. H. A. P. Carter, Diplomat. H. A. P. Carter, Minister to the United States from Hawaii, died at 1:30 o'clock yesterday morning at the Everett House, New Tork, Mr. Carter 1 a native of Hawaii, being the con of a Massachusetts clergyman who went to the islands as a missionary more than half a century ago. The son was educated In the United States, and after ward served his Government In many capacities. He became the Minister to the United States In March, 1883. For ehrnt years, therefore. Mr. Car ter bas been the Minister to the United States from Hawaii, and ls outranked In length of service by only two Ministers Romero, or Mexico, and Do Btruyve. of Busaia. Baron lava, of Italy, was the dean of the corps when bis service closed last spring, and M. itonslan, of France, was No. 3 on the Ust when recalled a few weeks ago. Minister Carter's household In Washington consisted of his wife and two daughters, and the family generally spent their summers la Europe or the Hawaiian Islands. His son ls now a resident of one of the new States. Minister Carter's personal and offi cial relations with the State Department and with his colleagues In the Diplomatic Corps were of an exceptionally pleasant character. He was a man ofcooljjdgment, fine address, infinite tact and en tirely unprejudiced mind. John Grlpp, Jr. John Gripp, Jr., the. 7-year-old son of Magistrate Grlpp. died at U o'clock yesterday morning at the family residence, Montour way. He was the oldest child. A few weeks ago the family moved in from their suburban residence where they bad bcenspendlngthesummer months forthe benefit of thechlldren's health. Little Jobn bad been In poor health, but the chance of resi dence apparently did him good and the parents were confident of his recovery. Last Thursday he was attacked by scarlet fever and steadily grew worse. Saturday night three physicians were In constant attendance, but could do nothing beyond prolonging his life until yesterday morning. The announcement of the death was a shock to the many friends of Magistrate Grlpp and his wife. General Truman Seymour. Brigadier General Truman Seymour died Saturday at Florence. Italy, aged 67 years. lie graduated from the West Point Academy in 1846, tervedlnthe Mexican and Seminole wars, was commissioned Brigadier General of volunteers In 18G2, served In the Army of the Potomac, com manded the left wing at MechanlcsvUle, and was taken prisoner in tue battle of tne Wilderness. After bis exchange he fought in the last battles in Virginia and was brevetted Major General of Volunteers and Brigadier General In the regular army for gallantry at the capture of Petersburg. He was present at Lee's surrender. After the war he commanded Jorts In Florida, Fort Warren, Mass., and Fort Preble. Me., and In November, 1876, he was retired from active service. After Ills retirement he resided In Europe. Thomas McGregor. Thomas McGregor, the 13-year-old son of Mrs. Maggie McGregor, at No. IS Franklin street, died early yesterday morning of diphtheria. This lsthe third death in the family from the disease during ths past two weeks. Tho first was Bessie, who riled two weeks ago yesterday. Isabel died last Wednesday. Their father. William J. Mc Gregor, died lust April, and of the family only U netuer and two children now remain- NOVEMBER HEAVEN'S. Sights That Hay Be Seen Through an Opera Glass Slackening of the Speed of tha Sun Effect or the Moon and Son on the Tides. November is an interesting month for star gazing, particularly if one can relnforoe the naked eye with an opera glass or a field glass. At 10 o'clock in the early evenings of the month, and at 8 o'clock at its close, some of the finest constellations are above the horizon, while over us and about us is a host of smaller objects, interesting to study even -with nnftlried vision. The speed of the sun -perceptibly slackens in November, says the New Tork Times, there being but seven degrees increase in southerly declinationforthe month, whereas last month there were 11 degrees. The rate of motion will continue to decrease until the time of the winter solstice is reached, when the speed will again be accelerated. The de crease in the length of the dayor tbemonth Is a little over an hour, being more la the morning than In the alternoon. The day is now almost six hours shorter than it was at the summer solstice, a fact that becomes far too apparent as the chilliness of evening overtakes us at an earlier hour from week to week. The month is quite a noticeable one in astronomical circles, as it contains two eclipses one of the moon on the loth and one of the sun on the 20tb. The latter is only a partial eclipse, invisible in this lati tude, but visible quite generally in antartic regions, in which, in its greatest magnitude, it embraces Borne what over one-balf the disk ofOId8oL " The Part That Xuna Flays. The November moon comes In promptly with the first day of the month, and this early appearance admits of there being an other new moon on the last day of the month, thus eivinir us the somewhat un usual number of five phases for the calendar month. There are six conjunctions for No vember, in which Luna plays a more or less prominent Dart. The first event is with Mer cury to-day, but the crescent as well as tho planet is far too pale for ns to see, both being engulfed in the powerful rays of the sun. To-morrow Venus and the moon come quite close together, and we shall see a pretty pic ture in the Western sky, as the young moou, seemingly poised on the crest of some aerial wave, drifts down toward the horizon, all gilded by the sun that has but barely passed from view, and carries almost in her arms the fairest gem of the evening heavens. The next conjunction is with Jupiter, on the 10th, but the four degrees separating the two hardly tend toward enhancing the bean ties of the panorama. As the meeting with Neptune occurs on the dav after the full of the moon, the light is too brilliant for proper effect, even were the planet within our natural vision. Saturn bears about the same relation to the waning that Jupiter does to the growing moon, and the conjunction is of but little interest. Mars closes the record for the month without adding the least to its beauties. The total eclipse of the moon on the 15th of the month will be visible here and also In Asia, Africa, Europe, the Atlantic, and the eastern portion of the Pacific ocean. The moon remains five hours and a half in the shadow, the period of total eclipse lasting one hour and a half. The entire magnitude of the eclipse is one-third larger than the face of the moon. The performance begins at 9:30 in the evening, and the curtain does not drop nntll after 8 o'clook the following morning, when, to reverse the usual order ot minis, tne cniei penormer maaes aa ap pearance instead of his exit. The Effect Upon the Tides. The question of tides and the part that the moon and sun play in regulating the height of the 'Rater does not seem to be clearly understood. It is quite the popular thing to attribute tidal action to the moon only, whereas, in point of fact, It is caused by the joint action of both sun and moon, and it is due to this double influence which sometimes pulls in the same and at other times in a contrary direction that we have the ever-varying phases in the times and heights of high and low water. Tide waves occur simultaneously at points of the earth's surface diametrically opposed to each other, and are termed superior and inferior, ac cording as they are formed on the side next the moon or on the one opposite. As water cannot be raised at one point without being lowered at another, it lollows that between each of these waves of high water there ara depressions of the surface corresponding to what we call low water. At the period .of change," or new moon, when It and the sun are in conjunction, that ls to say, when tbey are on the same side of the earth, and at the period of full moon. wnen tney nave tne carta oeiwqentnem, tuo greatest tidal effect is produced, as at such times the solar and lunar influences are ex erted in the same straight line. This ls the period of springs, and should it occur when both luminaries happen to be at their near est approach to tne eartn me enectis greatly enhanced. If at such times we are also treated to a severe- northeasterly storm those of ns situated along the river front in the lower portion of the city and other simi lar places will do well to consider the possi bility of our cellars being flooded. When the moon and sun are 90 apart in quadrature, as it is termed their actions neutralize each other to a large extent by the tendency to produce independent waves under both sun and moon. Each pulls In a different direction to the ofher, and thus the tides at such times are less in everyway and get the name of neaps. The Center of the System. 'The sun is tho center and controlling force of the system to which wo belong, and his attractive power npon the earth, as a whole, is vastly greater than that of our comparatively puny satellite; for, though the sun's mean distance from us is nearly 390 times that of the moon, it is more than counterbalanced by his mass, which is 26, 000,000 times greater than that of the moon. Nevertheless, the bitter's influence upon the tides is nearly two and a half times more than that of the sun. At that delightful moment when night is not vet and day is no more, and when twi light has already begun to cast its soft tones and fantastic reflections over every thing, if we cast our eyes toward the western sky we shall be rewarded by seeing the fairest of all the planets as she makes her first appear ance after her many weeks' retirement from our celestial tableaux. She comes brilliant and smiling, but is not as largo as when we bade her goodbye and Jupiter was left to reign in her stead; but she is fast growing, and as she comes nearer she will appear larger and larger, so that before she again disappears she will have regained her full size and radiance. Jupiter, as the month opens, is still the star performer of the company, and, rising earlier on each succeeding evening, will be a prominent object throughout the month, although his disk ls dally decreasing in size. He is in the constellation of the Water Bearer, and now sets shortly after 10 o'clock in the morning. Saturn the Morning Star. Saturn ls a morning star, ls in the constel lation of the Virgin, and is also grad ually in creasing in size as he gets nearer the earth. He bas again donned his Jewelry, as his rings can now once more be seen, and they will be more plainly visible as he continues to turn on his axis and present a different face to us from what we have lately been accustomed to seeing. Mercury remains a morning star until the 27th, when he passes the sun to re appear on his opposite side as an -evening star. We are not now permitted to gaze on the face of this planet, as he is far too close to the sun, and, in fact, we shall not again see him until after the year draws to a close. Mars is also a morning star, and, although almost three hours distant from the sun, is so small a point that his ruddy glare cannot be perceived at present He ls, however, coming tbts way rapidly, bringing with him the promise of wonderful things for the coming year, when he will be a glorious spectacle to attiact both scientist and ama teur. He ls to be found in the constellation of the Lion, rising to-morrow morning shortly after 3 o'clock. Neptune ls another of the morning stars, and is in the constellation of Taurus in about 20 degrees north declination, and rises at about 6:15 o'olock in the evening. He is in opposition to the sun on the 29th, alter whloh he will be an evening star. Uranus comes under the banner followed by the morning stars until the 28th. when he is in conjunction with the sun, and after which he will be an evening star. Terres trial observers can take but little interest in these conjunctions, as the smaller actors are entirelv hidden from view, being com pletely lngulfsd in the sun's beams. The Money Will Come Back. St. Louis Globe-Democrat. About $21,000,000 in gold has come to the country from Europe in the past six weeks. The other $50,000,000 which we sent out earlier in the year will also doubtless be back here before midwinter. Blaine Is on Deck. Boston Herald." Secretary Blaine is on deck", and the new navy 1a in good running order. We don't think Chile will gobble us all up without some embarrassment. . A1UAHCE DEGRADATION. It Has Been Transformed Into a Disreputa ble Hunt After Office. Th Forum. J It ls a melancholy thought that the pnre purposes and-principles of the Farmers' Al liance should be thus ahused by selfish -politicians who have crept into its secret coun cils. There was nothing wrong or unjust, unpatriotic or unwise, In this organization as It was orlginallv established. Neither was It weak in its Influence on piiblic policy. It was a powerful organization for political resistance to polttloal wrong and injustice.' It was inspired with the thought in which the higher liberties of the people have oftn had their birth the redress orgrievances. It was made necessary as a means of re sistance to legalized monopoly, U legalized tax robbery, to trusts that sprang up every where to- choke down business rivalry and honest competition, and to the accumulated advantages given to corporations and great ;ijiuiiuto uj my legislation OI HJO uuuiltry. It was the first grand effort of the farmers to combine in resistance to others who had combined for aggression upon them: and Its failure, if it Is destroyed by a misplaced confidence in its political leaders, will result in weakening, if not in dissipating, an Influ ence that would otherwise have blessed the country. The sincere defendeis of the peo ple against the aggressions of monopoly, trusts and combines, armed with the control of taxation and finance, will miss the power ful support of the Alliance, when Its noble mission bas been degraded into a disreputa ble hunt after office. TALK OP THE TIMES. Ex-Presldent Cleveland bas done noble service for his party and the cause of good government duribg tho present campaign in New Tork. Boston Globe. This ls intended as a pointer for 1892. According to the party o'gans, the bliz zard in the Northwest has arrived four days ahead of time. New York Advertiser. It has not reached this section yet, but it is ex pected to strike some time to-morrow. There bas hardly a Bepublican conven tion met this year but has shown an enthusi asm for Blaine that indioated he was its choice for President. Springfield Register. The conventions only represented the feel ing of the public at large. One hundred thousand soldiers at the World's Fair would have a big effect on any foreian despots visiting the big show. Louisville Courier-Journal. The chances are that the despots won't dare leave home. There is such a thing as a throne growing cold from lack of use. . Too much plug tobacco is said to have made a Californian speechless. We should like to have bad a supply of that kind of to bacco to administer to some of the candi dates in this campaign. New York Telegram. Was this what ailed Flower! Some of the New Tork papers say he has been speechless and others say Fassett's speeches were senseless. The PrrrsauBa Dispatch shows that $3 000, 0CO have been expended on the publio roads of Pennsylvania dnring the current year, and witb no permanent improvement in the highways. How much longer is this stu pendous exhibition of "how not to do it" to be kept open? The folly of the present sys tem of roadmaking and repairing, however, ls surpassed by the tenacity and fierceness with which any proposition looking toward a change is fought by a large class of citi zens. CnnoJMOurir JVofe. They will learn after awhile that good roads,properly made, mean money in their pockets. Tbey are be ing taught by the experience of other peo ple. DANGER IK THE DUST. Millions of Microbes Exist In the Atmos phere of the Streets. New Tork Herald, Few persons reflect on the danger of In baling the bacteria of tuberculosis or diph theria when they go ont of doors. But M. Manfredi has recently shown that on tho cleaner streets of Naples in every 15 grains of dust there are from 750,000 to 3,000,000 mi crobes, the number varying according to the hygienic condition of each street. In the dirtiest thoroughfares the number varies from l.OOO.OOO.COO to 5,000.000,000. All bacteria aro 'not Injurious to humn health. But 31. Manfredf s researches indicate that about 73 Der cent of those examined by him were pathogenio or infectious. This was ascer tained by inoculating guinea pigs with a cul ture of the microbe-Infested dust. The re sult showed that the dust was colonized by the micro-organisms of suppuration, malig nant cede ma, tetanus and tuberculosis. For these diseases were communicated to the animals upon which the experiment was made. Nothing could more clearly demonstrate than this experiment does the necessity for thorough sanitation of all public thorough fares. We water some of our streots in sum mer to keep down the dust. This procedure is wise and well. Bnt if it is demanded by iieadii cuusiueraiioos m summer, wnen tne air is usually very tranquil, it is far more imperatively called for in the windv, wintry season, when pedestrians are exposed to gales of filthy and fatal dust. Other Im portant subjects discussed by our medical correspondent are the treatment of car buncle by total excision, the use of hydro chloric acid in diphtheria, the treatment of uraemia and the management of pulmon ary tuberculosis, THE FREE TBADE D0CTB.IHZ. Its Apostles Talk Without Studying the Sub ject Seriously. San Francisco Chronicle. Our free-trade cotemporarles who talk about the McKiniey bill raising taxation should take the trouble to learn something abont the measure. If they do they will dis cover that it does nothing of the kind, but that it largely reduces customs taxes. The criticisms of the free-traders show that they do not so much object to customs taxation as to the Bepublican method of levying a tariff. What they want isa tariff which will tax those things -which we cannot produce our selves but must have for consumption, such as tea, coffee, sugar, etc., while they insist on letting in free manufactured articles which will compete with American products. The reason tbey favor this British system is be cause they believe that it is an econotnio crime to encourage home industries, or in the slightest degree favor the American pro ducer, their theory being tbat the consumer should get things cheaply, no matter what the effect may be so far as the producer is concerned. EGAN AND 8ATJCT CHUB. Ministsb EaAir is a casus belli Boston Serald. Ir the Chilean Junta want to fight can not arrangements be mado for a spectacular ex hibition? It should take place on land, how ever, as our sea legs are not steady. Kansas CUv Times. Those Chile people seem to ache for a warming, and Uncle Sam should put his spanking machine in order. He might prac tice a little first on Pat Egan. Nebraska World Herald. Tbe Instructions sent by our State Depart ment to Minister Egan are firm and digni fied. We are too big to bully Chile, but are also too big to stand any nonsense from her. Louisville Commercial. Ir tbe peremptory demand of our govern ment for explanation or apology and Indem nity be ignored or refused, there seems to be no reason why bombardment should not be gin. Memphis Avalanche. It is reported tbat Pat Egan has been taken aboard tbe Baltimore. The com mander of that noble craft bas it in his power to end tbe whole trouble with Chile by steaming away with the mlschjefmaker. Chicago Times. Chile and the United States have posi tively fallen out, and unless the peace party ties np the United States navy the edifying spectacle of two republics clutching at one another's throats will soon "be seen. Thus does "Liberty enlighten the world." Toronto Empire. The strip of real estate known as Chile seems after all to have a navy that could give tbe navy of this broad land a pretty se vere tussle. Pretty soon the necessity of keeping up a formidable marine force will dawn npon our legislators. If we ever got at Chile on land we could take her slender figure in one hand and break her narrow, back with ease. But how will it beoa the l,v4tf-CMv New. cufcious condensations! . Tnthe reign of Queen Victoria, England has had 15 wars. Porter got its name from the fact that porters in London drank the liquid about 1730- A vegetable cartridge shell, which is entirely consumed in firing, is now coming into general use in the French army. An electric drill in an Idaho mine re cently performed the feat of boring a 3-Inch hole through 20 reet of solid granite in four hours. The only purely platinum mine in ex istence has been discovered In Oregon. This mineral unnlly occurs in conjunction with Other minerals. A mountain of mica is reported to have been discovered on the Canoe river, about 300 miles north of the British Columbia uounuary line. Texarkana, Ark., has a woman whote height is 8 feet z;i inche. She has two cousins traveling with circuses who are taller than she. A farmer living near Eugene, Ore., has raised the largest potatoe on record. It ls a Burbank seedling and weighs 4Jf pounds; is 15 inches long and 13 inches around. The electric light which Sir E. "Watkin intends to have fixed on the summit of Snowden is to be' so powerful as to light up every crag and precipice of the great mount ain, even in misty weather. For 5 cents a Belgian or a Hollander can get a cigar fit for a Ulng. The ordinary well-to-do Hollander smokes cigars worth half a cent, but the nobility preter tho finer kind, costing twice tbat sum. In some of the old countries men who toll have almost lost their names, and have become only a number. Every workman In Japan wears on his cap and on bis back an inscription giving his business and his em picker's name. Montana and Idaho are new countries for the oldest of circus performers, and they have had some rough experiences there this season. The sand storms compelled every body to wear goggles to protect the eyes, and it was almost impossible to keep the costumes clean. Some years ago American cotton seed wo planted in Turkestan, and the develop ment! has been something phenomenal. In IPS about 3C0.C00 pounds of cotton were ex ported, while tho product for this year is expected to reach 3,500,000 poods, or about 1K.C00, COD pounds. Berylium, for instance, is worth about ten times its weight in pure gold, and vena dlum is five times as costly as the precious metaL Iridium, also, is more than twice as costly as gold. The text books used to sav that platinum was the only metal more valuable than gold, but it now costs about the same. A curious fact, revealed by the' figures Of the recent censu3, is that, while there are In the United States three cities of over 1,000.600 inhabitants each, one of between SOO.OCO and 900.000. three of between 400 000 and 500 0CO each, and nine of between 200,000 and 300,000 each, there is not a Mnzle one having between 3C0.C00 and 400,000 in habitants. A prospector in Jlontana has found a strange mineral that takes fire and consume itself when exposed to the air. When taken from the ground it bas much the appearance of iron ore and is quite as heavy. The first that was taken out was piled up near the shaft one evening and the next morning was found to be smoking. It continued to grow hotter until it arrived at almost a white beat, remaining in that condition sev eral days, after which it gradually cooled off. It was then found to be but half Its first weight, and resembled much the frag ments of meteors that are found on the sur face. There is probably not a civilized roof in South Africa which covers people of only one nationality; as a rule, they are of three or four. We take a typical Cape household before us at the moment: the father is English, the mother half Dutch and half French-Huguenot, with a French name, and the children sharing three nationalities: the I governess is a Scotch woman, the cook a Zulu, the housemaid half Hottentot and half Dutch, the kitchen girl hair Dutch and half Slav, the stable boy a Kaffir, and the little girl who waits at table a Basuto. This house, hold is a type of thousands of others to be louna everywhere tnrongnont Africa. A French journal describes the case of a woman 21 years of age but whose physiog nomy Is that of a -woman fully 70 years old. The appearance of the young woman is so deceiving that her father, who is only 50 years old, has frequently been asked if she were not his mother. The surface of the skin Is the only part afiected. The doctors describe it as a decrepitude of the cutaneous system. Beyond this the young lady bas nothing old-appearing about nor. Her hair is blond and of ordinary length, and her memory. Judgment, and intelligence very good. Drs. Charcot and Sonques, under whose observation the case was studied, state that the wrinkling of the girl's skin began when she was about 11 years old. At Ledro, S. D., there is a specimen of the man-flsh, was found in the wind caves of the Bad Lands in the State of South Dakota. The animal is petrified and ls in a perfect state of preservation. The head of the creature is exactly of the same shape as that of the human cranium, only it is much smaller. The eyes, nose, ears and forehead, in fact every portion of the head, resembles that of a mans. The neck is slender and the shoulders uniform, and tbe entire anatomy appears tbe same as tbat of tbe human body. The arms are perfect, as are also tbe hands, with tbe exception of the nails, which have Sore the appearance or a canine's nalL Then the ribs and spinal column are per fectly formed, making the upper portion of the body as nearly alike tbe form of a man's as is possible. Below tbe ribs the body re sembles tbat of a fish. BAZAR, BUZZINGS. Mr. Pinkham How do you do, Mrs. Wllllsf Tou are the last person I expected to see In Florence. Mrs. WlUl-Why. if it Isn't Mr. Pinkham I Tes. we are spending tbe winter here. Tou must call on us often. Tou know Jnst how It ls persons we never think much of wl.lle home seem like dear friends when we meet them in a strange place. There was once a young woman of Chester, Who was eager to sbig when one preased.her; When she once got a start She would sing with such art That It took twenty men to arrest her. "How is it you have remained a bachelor all your life. Mr. Tupton?" "Oh, I was born so," returned Tupton. "Hello, Cadi "What are you eating?" Toothpick." That all?" Tes. Only got 30 cents, and after I've tipped the waiter I'U only hares. Can't get anything here for 5 cents." "You are most entertaining," remarked the gaUant old gentleman to bis fair partner at dinner. "I assure you that I envy your futnrs busband." The maid turned an appealing face toward him. "Would would vou mind Introducing bun?" she asked. "I hear you fought a duel with Parker." Tdld." "Weren't you afraid to stand np before a loaded pistol?" "Not with Parker holding It. I'm insured la his company." "Is there a resident of Paterson in this ear?" shouted an excited passenger, poking his head in the smoking-car door. "I am one," said Barklns. rising from his "seat. What U wanted?" "1 bare here the fuU and complete history of Paterson, New Jersey. Seven volumes. For sale only by subscription." But bis words were ua availing. Barklns bad leaped from the train. "We met. She smiled upon me when Enchanted at her side I tarried I asked her to be mine: bnt then She said, "I'm married." 80 ended all my dream of love; But I will never quite forget The girl who wore the tiny glove Oftanchevrette. iountr Husband My dear, you Temem ber that note for thirty days that your s father.' lave Tun for a wedding present?" Tounst Wife Tes: dear old fataerl lahs'n't fornt his kindness very soon.' Toong Husband No, I don't believe youwllU He dropped in this morning ana sua as waaiea 10 renew it for slity days more. . 7? ' Customer Mr Baggs, there seems to be'aV good deal of sand in the sugar this week, " Grocer-I'm very "T I'm sure. - Customer Aud tha batter ls three-quarters oleo, Grocer-Well, I mast look into that. 7-m Customer But what surprises ma the raostisjri that tha tea if pure, and weighs sixteen ounce ten"' tbe pound. ' J9& Grocer Br gracious, Mr. Snooks. I'U be mora TV areta! lata faton: uS f V' te t rafo tesBfe 451 KfXa sa .;.?'-,".
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers