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THE PITTSBURG DISPATCH, SUNDAY, OCTOBER 25, 1891.
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ESTABLISHED FEBRUART 8. 1S48.
Vol. . No.BO.Vmerea at Pittsburg Postofflcc,
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P1TTSBUEG, SUNDAY. OCT. 23, 1SKL
A CONTENTION FOB ASSESSMENTS.
The true inwardness of that reported or
der that the Republican politicians must
turn in and work for the ratification of the
Constitutional Convention, is given In our
new s columns. It seems that campaign as
sessments were wanted from tiie respected
citizens nominated for delegates in that
wholly potential body. Naturally the del
egates objected to paying 5100 each for the
empty honor of a possible election to a
"body which was at the same time to be
voted out of existence. Consequently in
order to realize on the assessments word
had to be sent that the convention must be
carried.
Here we have an illustration of the
small causes which are sometimes ex
pected to change the course of Slate
events. The fundamental law of the
State is to be overhauled, the courts are to
be set anew to the work of construction,
the chances of removing the restrictions
which the present Constitution imposes
on corporations and politicians are to be
incurred, and the State is to bear the
expense of a needless and undesired
convention, all in order that a few thou
sand dollars of campaign assessments may
ie gathered in for the party funds. If
such methods of deciding .grave questions
of State can succeed it is enough to es
tablish a profound faith in the supremacy
of the infinitely little.
But it may be pertinent for the delegates
to advise with themselves whether this
change of front affords them a sufficient
guarantee for lightening their pockets.
The question of a convention is, after all,
to be decided by popular vote. Party
lines cannot be drawn on it; and the
public mind was made up long before this
reach was made for the candidates' money.
The considerations which decided the
public against the convention are as strong
now as ever; and it would be discreet for
the candidates to make their assessments
conditional on the delivery of the goods
and let the payment be C. O. D.
Bather we should say that the considera
tions against the convention are now
stronger than ever. When the subject of
Constitutional legislation becomes a matter
of political barter and sale it affords the
strongest argument for the people to put
their veto on the whole business.
THE OUTLOOK UNCHANGED.
The week now opened will witness the
culmination and practical close of the
great contest between McKinley and
Campbell in Ohio. To the last moment
the partisan prophets are sticking fast to
their respectire sides. This is a sort of
fidelity and consistency which is usual
in all such campaigns.
The Dispatch sees no reason to change
its opinion that the people of Ohio will
stand by the protective policy. It should
even expect that the very thorough hear
ing which has been given to all the argu
ments would greatly increase the Bepub
lican majority above the original expecta
tions of the leaders.
It would be extremely unfortunate If
the platform of -anti-protection and free
silver were to win in Ohio this year. That
would give a new lease of life to agitation
which is detrimental to the business inter
ests of the country. On the other hand, if
McKinley wins there will be an end of free
silver and tariff-for-revenue-only planks in
Democratic platforms for a good while to
come. The next Democratic National
Convention will treat these subjects very
gingerly if the party is beaten upon them
in Ohio next week.
UNIVERSITY'S DECADENCE.
There is a tinge of tragedy in the state-
ment of the trouble at Harvard made by
the Xew York World. In taking its mind
off from its diurnal task of swearing by
the holiness and justice of the Tammany,
cause to study the decadence of that sen
ior scholastic institution our cotempor
ary shows its ability to rise above party
lines, and in its analysis of the trouble
it displays an equal talent at discarding
the conventional and archaic views of
educational matters.
The "trouble at Harvard" to which the
World deems it necessary to call the at
tention of the public is not the painting of
any more statuary or the exhibition of any
more lawlessness. No such trivial exhibi
tions of youthful spirit are to be considered
besides the deep gravity of the announce
ment that "the Harvard football team is
going to pieces, and that it will be no
where in the struggle with its old oppon
ents." The cause for such calamity Is
worthy the deep study which the World
gives.
It is in the statement of the real source
of this national woe that we perceive the
new logic of athletics. It is "not the
plijsical condition of the men nor the in
creased luxury of the wealthy set," for
taste "must remain in Harvard Uulver-
sity a goodly number of strong-bodied
men." After this process of exclusion
we find that the real difficulty
is that "Harvard refuses to compete
with any college but Tale." One might
suppose that if the team goes to pieces
from competition with Yale, that compe
tition with everyone would pulverize if
not triturate it; but we know differently
now. Finally, a great and wanton cause
of the trouble is disclosed in the interfer
ence of the faculty. The "committee of
mugwumps in athletics" actually take the
heart out of the men by making it uncer
tain whether they will be permitted to en
gage in prospective contests, and thus the
bright prospects of our leading educational
foundation in the athletic field are being
brought to a tragic conclusion.
But this is to be remedied. With the
notice of the World that "the Faculty
must keep its hands off," the educators of
that university will understand that
henceforth they must abjure the obsolete
idea that education can be permitted to
interfere with the production of football
and rowing champions.
EXPANSION OF RAILROAD FACILITIES.
So many false reports have been given
out as to the purpose of the Pennsylvania
railroad to erect a new Union Station that
we suppose the latest one must be taken
with the usual grain of allowance. It
speaks of a project afoot on the part of
the company "to purchase all the property
between Eleventh and Twenty-eighth
streets, running through Liberty street to
Spring alley," with the idea of vacating
that part of Liberty street and widening
the alley to a fifty foot thoroughfare the
ground thus acquired to be used for an ex
tension of tracks and yard purposes, and
for a new station building to take the place
of the present one.
As it is not the policy of railroad com
panies to herald their intentions, especially
when property is to be bought, the as
sumption reasonably arises that this re
port, like many of its predecessors, is im
aginative. At the same time it is patent
that the business of all the railroads com
ing Into Pittsburg is increasing enor
mously. The present terminal facilities,
which were ample some years ago, will
hardly, in any instance, be large enough
to accommodate the business of ten years
hence. We may, therefore, look for im
portant improvements within the next
decade. The time Is fast comJtog when
the railroads will find themselves taxed
beyond their resources to do the business
of the larger cities of the United States.
Water transportation will then be a more
important factor of business than now. If
Pittsburg had such adequate water trans
portation as could be secured to it, the
local railroads might suffer loss on the
lines of the heaviest class of freights. But
they would soon be more than recouped
for this loss by the increase of general
business and the greater quantity of the
better paying classes of freight.
The Pennsylvania Railroad and its con
nections represent a magnificent system
whose facilities have kept better pace with
the growth of the country than those of
any other railroad lines. Yet, even the
great Pennsylvania Is destined to find itself
periodically outstripped by the enormous
increase of shipping business. As there
must be a limit sometime to the expansion
of even the most enterprising roads, it
seems that contemplation of auxiliary
water transportation is now none too
soon.
THE KIVALItY CONTINUES.
The rivalry between the Westinghouse
and Edison interests hi the matter of
electric lights has been transferred to the
electric railway field. It is not, as in the
function of illumination, a dispute over
the control of patents, but both interests
are in the field with electric motors which
are claimed to confer great improvement
on previous methods of electric propul
sion. In the application of the new motors to
street railway work the Westinghouse is
first in the field, three of them having been
in operation on our street railways during
the pastweek. The Edison motor, though
coming in last, makes up for that by the
more sweeping claims. This might give
the lead to Edison if it were not for the fact
that the most convincing demonstration of
the superiority of any machinery is its
actual working. A lay mind should
hardly undertake to analyze the differences
between the two machines; but distinction
in their character is broadly marked by
the fact that the Westinghouse motor is
readily applicable to the overhead wire
system already established in nearly
every city in the country, and does
away with some of its most obnoxious
features; while the Edison motor does
away with overhead wire system alto
gether. In this respect the Westinghouse
motor has the greater promise of immedi
ate usefulness, while the Edison contains
the prospect of a complete change and
necessitates the creation of new systems.
So long as the rivalry between the two
great electrical corporations results in the
constant production of new and improved
devices the public will be glad to see it go
on, and will wish the greatest success to
the efforts of both.
NOT FROM ST. LOUIS.
The report that Queen Victoria was
fatally ill, which started in St Louis yes
terday, is from the point of its origin
plainly an example of the way in which
canards get their growth. As far as au
thenticity is concerned the report could
have come from Sioux City with just as
much authority. Of course the fact that
at her advanced age the Queen's death is
to be regarded as one of the near ppssi
bilities, will impress anyone who thinks
of the matter. Probably some remark to
that effect made in casual conversation
was magnified by the old "three black
crows" process until some goose posted it
as news on the Merchants Exchange. The
main feature is the utter purposelessness
of the thing. In Europe such news might
have an effect on the bourses; but in this
country it could have no effect whatever
on business or investments. When the
Queen dies we ma5 set it down as certain
that we will not hear of it first from St.
Louis.
PEEHAPS NOT.
The current gossip comes from New
York that the sharp-witted there are mak
ing bets that neither Flower nor Fassett
will be the next Governor of that State.
This is based on the idea that Hill must re
sign the Governorship before the first
Monday in December in order to take his
seat in the Senate, when Lieutenant Gov
ernor Jones will become the next Gover
nor. It would be not wholly devoid of natural
justice if these betters should find them
selves caught in the trap of their own
sharpness. There are very emphatic rea
sons Avhy the presence of the freight-paying
Jones in the New York Governorship
would b exceedingly obnoxious to the
Hill-Tammany combine. The Bjngham
ton recalcitrant is now even more unpleas
ant to the faithful than the Republicans.
He has not only sulked In his tent, but he
has even committed the party treason of
publishing a letter advising honest Dem
ocrats to rebel against the Tammany
regime and vote the Republican ticket this
year. To say nothing of the way in which
he might slir things up during a brief term
in(tla Governorship, the mere idea of such
a recusant sitting as Democratic Governor
Is enough to stir the gorge of Hill and his
Tammany supporters.
But how is it to be prevented? That
question might ordinarily be" a poser; but
tho genius of David Bennett Hill has
already shown how easy is the answer.
That remarkable politician finds no diffi
culty In holding on to the Governorship
for nine months after his term as Senator
began. Why should he hesitate over such
a bagatelle as holding on to it a month
longer because the Senate happens to.be
in session? Nothing is likely to happen
during December which would render the
absence or presence of a minority Senator
at Washington a vital point; while if Jones
were permittedto take the Executive posi
tion at Albany for that length of time he
might deal the Hill-Tammany interests a
blow that would go near to being mortal.
It would not be strange if the wily Hill
should decline to take his seat in the Sen
ate until the inauguration of the Governor
to be elected this fall, and thus continue
to interpose himself between the freight
payer of Binghamton and his ambition to
rule New York.
A new result of the heavy gales that
have been prevailing on tho Atlantic has
been to retard tho course of the Gulf Stream.
Observers have noted that the current has
been reduced all the .way from Florida to
Cape Hatteras to about a mile an hour. This,
in connection with the winds that have
swept down from the North, has exercised
so chilly an influence on tho atmosphere of
the Atlantic coast that unless it speedily
rectifies itself we may expect some enter
prising Congressman from the Eastern
States to bring in an appropriation for re
moving the oDstructions to the course of
the Gulf Stream.
Now we hear that Russia is contemplat
ing an additional embargo on the exporta
tion or oats, potatoes, millet and buckwheat.
This makes the rest ot Europe uneasy; but
the people need not worry. Tho United
States will put no embargo on her magnifi
cent surplus of lood products.
In asserting that Australians should feel
at home in this country at present, the
Philadelphia Bulletin remarks that "here in
Pennsylvania wo have a fine sample of a
boomerang legislative session." Does tho
esteemed Bulletin mean to prophesy that
those who are guiding the course of tho
Senate will presently find that they have
whacked their own heads with it? That is
undoubtedly what will happen if the Senate
delays or J uggles with the question of official
misconduct.
It is now announced that Prof. Koch has
purified his lymph of all its iuflammatory
qualities and pronounces it satisfactory. If
lie can make it cure consumption it will un
doubtedly be so. But when it accomplishes
that purpose the patients will be willing to
stand a little inflammation.
The announcement from New York that
a court has held that the inspector of the
Board of Health "acted hastily" in condemn
ing those spotted grapes, on suspicion that
tho spots contained copperas, may be good
law, but it is not the lino of policy on which
the best protection to the public is guaran
teed. The idea that inspectors must wait
until some one is poisoned before condemn
ing suspicious food products will not in
crease public faith in tho efficacy of food
inspection.
The Constitutional Convention must be
carried in order that candidates for dele
gates may be assessed, must it 1 Still, if any
delegate wishes to make his assessment de
pend on his election, we would advise him
to defer ponying up until, say tho Thursday
after election.
Mb. Stillman's recently discovered
comment on Colonel Shepard's purchase
from tho Hopkins estate of its interest in
the New York Mail and Expresi, that "We
ought to be grateful to Providence that it
sometimes sends men along with more money
than brains to relieve men of their unfor
tunate investments," is pointed. But would
it not apply just as well to the way in which
the Hopkins estate first obtained its interest
in that newspaper!
The latest cure for nervous prostration is
to walk barefooted in wet grass, in snow or
cold water. After one or two trials the
nervously prostrated will conclude that the
cure is worse than the disease.
The report that a gang of Indiana horse
thieves hid their stolen livo stock in a cave,
arouses tho comment that this method of
disposing of plunder was taken from Gil
Bias, though the Hoosiers are entitled to
originality in putting the idea to practical
use. It has not yet been noted that, as Gil
Bias' statement was a work of the imagina
tion, the person who got up tho horse thief
story is not entitlod to originality in adapt
ing it to modern times.
The cause of honest money should not he
forgotten in Pennsylvania, but it cannot bo
permitted to interfere with the cause of hon
esty in handling the money.
The latest Brooklyn girl who shot her
recreant lover appears to have begun the
acquaintance in a street flirtation. If there
were some regulation for shooting both par
ties to that sort of thing valuable time might
he saved. But as the shooting penalty ap
pears to fall exclusively on the male partici
pants the young men should take warning
and govern themselves accordingly.
Now when Buddhism is torn up by dis
putes about its doctrines, there can no longer
be any doubt that an epidemic of heresy is
abroad in the land.
Last returns indicate that the deficiency
of food in Germany may not be so great as
expected. The shortage in ryo is 20 per cent
and in wheat 18, whilo oats and barley are a
little above the average. But as Germany
always has to import breadstuffs to feed her
population, thero is no doubt thut the
United States will bo able to sell her a very
lively total of grain.
Nothing has been heard lately of the
sub-Treasury scheme. There may be reason
to fear that it has been lost in tho stormy
season of politics.
Our esteemed though rabidly free-trade
cotemporary, the New York Times, devote 3 a
long paragraph to tho reduction of wages at
tho Edgar Thomson Steel Works. Singu
larly, though, it omits to mention the fact
that the tariff on the product of theso works
was reduced nearly 40 per cent by the Mc
Kinley bill.
FELLOWSHIP WITH NEGB0ES.
The St. Andrew's Brotherhood May Open
Its Doors to Them.
St. Louis, Oct. 21. At tho morning session
of the Brotherhood of St. Andrew a report
was read advocating the spread of Chapters
among negroes, and Father John AVilliams,
of Omaha, made a strong plea lor universal
brotherhood.
Dr. Sears, of Now York, explained that tho
real and fundamental reason why boys, after
leaving school fall awny from churoh was
that the latter placed such small value on
them and were not sent regularly to church
while children.
Campbell's Transformation.
Cleveland Leader. .
There has been somewhat of a transforma
tion in the case of Governor Campbell. At
the besinning of his campaign ho was tho
most dismal kind of n calamity croakjr, and
now in tho closing days" he attempts with
varying success the role ofa clown. Nelthor
dodge has won him any votes.
OHIO CAMPAIGN GOSSIP.
Noticeable Characteristic of the Two Can
dldates Stories About Their Wires
General Sherman as a Politician West
Virginia Capacity for Whisky, -
No two men are occupying mpre of the
public's attention J nst now than ' Campbell
and McKinley. Both ate men of excep
tional ability; they have many, qualities of
mind in common, and yet no twa men nre
more unlike. Both are sociable and . kind,
hut in a different way. Campbell is effer
vescent: his Scottish good'humor constantly
bubbles over. He is a better mixer among
men than McKinley, and yat everybody who
meets the Major is impressed with his dig
nity and.respoots him. Tho Governor Is
not a clown, as some of the Republican or
gans for partisan purposes have painted
him. He, too, is a man of dignity and
strength. He is quick to adapt himself to
tho conditions around him, andean interest
a crowd of worklngmen with the same ease
that he can eutortaina collesoor-a company
of giggling schoolgirl's.
The Governor is a born politician. He has
all the arts of tlioglftodmanipulatorofnien.
He knows how to get close to the people and
engago their affections. In the canvass this
fall he ha"! made a good Impression, more
than surprised his friends and dumfounded
his enemies. The latter frankly admit they
did not know he was so versatile, or had tho
ability which he has displayed.
McKinley has been longer before the peo
ple. His leputation nas made someyeais
ago. Tho Major is an example of a man with
one idea that is good, and he has made it his
lire work to carry it out. He is recognized
to-day as the leader ot the American protec
tionists. Wives of the Candidates.
The w.omcn of Ohio must not be over
looked. They have played a prominent part
in the development of her great men and
many of thorn owe their pi ominence to the
Influence of a good wife or mother. Camp
bell ana McKinley are men of domestic
habits. They give much of the glory of
their success to their mates. Tho touching
devotion of McKinley to his invalid wife is
the admiration of all who know him. It Is
one of the strongest points in his character,
and has added greatly to" his popularity.
With what glee I have seen him on
Satuiday night after the week's
work on the stump was over take tho
first train to Canton to spend Sunday with
the woman he loves. Like Lord Burleigh,
who throw off his Treasury coat every Satur
day evening with the remark, "Stay there,
and don't worry me till Monday morning,"
McKinley lays aside all his cares when he
turns to his wife.
Mrs. Campboll is noted for hor tact and
good sense. The Governor tells tho people
he is Governor of Ohio, but only lieutenant
governor at home. There ho is plain Jim,
and Mis. Campbell is the queen. The Gov
ernor says he was a Republican until he
commenced to court a Democratic girl, and
when he married her lie became a disciple
of Jefferson, Jackson and Tilden.
Another accomplished woman is the wife
of Chairman Neai. She is said to possess
considerable literary ability, and like Mrs.
Campbell is fertile in contriving shrewd
schemes to advance tho Democratic cause.
The famo of those two women attracted
the attention of a Toledo newspaper
man early in the canvass, and ho thought a
general political talk with them and their
views on the outlook would make good read,
ing. Tho ladies, however, objected, and pre
ferred that the Governorand Chairman Neal
should bo tho mouthpieces of the party.
General Sherman as a Politician.
When McKinley was at Batavia recently
he had a room on the second floor in the
only decent hotel in tho town, and it
couldn't lay claim to much elegance, either.
So many gray beards were introduced to
him as old underground railway men that it
reminded tne Major of an incident in which
General Sherman played an important part.
During a slight lull, when there was a gap in
the line of visitors, McKinley told the story
to the newspaper men. Some years ago a
reception was given to the General at Nor-1
walk, in the Western Reserve.and the Major,
with a number of his Canton friends, went
over to attend it. At that time McKinloy's
district had been gerrymandered last
year was not the only time tho Democrats
played this trick on the Republicans and
lie was in some danger of being defeated.
Tho old General was interested in the con;
test, and thought ho saw a chance to make
votes for the Major. As the Canton hoys
were being introduced to him by McKinley,
ho said to each one: "Don't forget the
Major," meaning to vote for him on election
day. In a short time the Canton crowd had
passed by, but the grizzled General didn't
know it, and every man as ho stepped up to
shake hands was greeted with the remark,
"Don't forget the Major." McKinley laughed
heartily as he remembered the incident.
The puzzled expression on the faces of the
people at the queer salutation was not
noticed by Sherman, and the General didn't
learn till after tho reception was over that
tho Canton people formed only a small part
of the crowd present.
West Virginia Capacity for Whisky.
Governor Campbell was much amused
by a little thing that occurred in Bellairo
when ho was there about a month ago. The
Democratic hosts from WcstVlrginia poured
across the river and almost swamped the
town with their numbers. The Governor
was glad to see them, and they stirrred up
plenty of Democratic enthusiasm. After
the speaking was over, a lot of them crowded
into Mr. Campbell's room to see him. Some
one presented the Governor with a large
bottlo of Irish whisky. The Governor
neither drinks nor smokes, and he put the
tempting liquor on a table in sight of all.
Like most men who never touch the amber
colored stuff, he didn't notice the longing
eves which the West Virginians cast on the
bbttle, and it never occurred to him to ask
them to stop up. The torture was great, but
the boys smacked their lips and endured it.
When the time arrived lor the Governor
to take a train for Zanesville, he stepped
from tho room for a moment to get his hat
and coat. When he returned the bottle
was empty and a complacent smile played
around the mouths of every man present.
The Governor grasped tho situation in a
moment, and begged their pardon for not
offering the whisky before. Once out of
the town he had a hearty laugh over tho
short work they mado of the liquor.
"I never saw anything disappear so aniok-
ly," he said, "Heavens, what a capacity for
whisky
have."
mo ttesv Virginia .uemocrats must
Israel.
PERTINENT AND PERSONAL.
Mr. and Mrs. Charles Isham sail next
week from London for New York, with the
intention of settling down in the United
States.
Daniel Dougherty, the silver-tongued
orator, made his first money handling the
ribbons over his father's 'bus team in Phila
delphia. Whitelaw B.EID, American Minister
to Paris has mado himself very popular.
He spends more than his salary in social en
tertainment. Prof. James Hall, the distinguished
paleontologist of New York, is hale and
hearty at 81 y ears at ago. He is the nestor
of American geologists.
Clubs may not be exactly the thing for
women, but Mrs. Martha J. Lamb believes
in belonging to societies. Her name is on
the membership roll of 25.
The Prince of Wales will celebrate his
fiftieth birthday on November 9 at tho Marl-
tboiough homo. Quite an interesting family
party will gather at that time.
General Fitzsimmons has stirred Chi
cago to its depths. Ho says that there is
only 1(1 feet of earth between tho surface of
the streets ana a layer or mud and of quick
stand. Occasionally Dukes and other high
titled individuals aro found with specu
lative turns of mind. Tho latest instanoo is
tho Duko of Fife, who is selling his estates
and investing the money in tecurities.
The Astor family have a million sterling
invested in English securities. Tho founder
of tho family, John 'Jacob -Astor, left an in
junction in his will that the family should
always continue tho investments in the
English fnnds and in English securities that
lie had himself commenced. The sons and
grandsous have always respected this com
mand. Mrs. Henry Johnson, nee Harriet
Lane, is in Loudon. She is the niece of
President Buchanan, and presided over his
household at tho Whitq House during his
Presidency, and at the United States Lega
tion when ho was Minister in London. The
lato Mr. Smith owned a magnificent steam
yacht, thOjFandora, formerly belonging to
the Duke of Hamilton. It is now for sale,
and though silo Is 2J years old, she is ttlll a-
SBrvlcenfce boat. Slio gost originally XSO.OOQ,
AMEBICANZING IMMIGBAHIS.
Schools Established Where They Are Given
Suitable Tuition.
Boston Journal.
The school question in New York has a
recent interesting phase in the new schools
established under the Baron do Hirsch fund
for tho Instruction of Russian and Rouman
ian Jewish Immigrants in the English lan
guage and in the duties and obligations of
life. and citizenship in the United States.
As the first organized effort of foreigners to
prepare themselves for American citizen
ship, tho schools are noteworthy experi
ments. Their need cannot bo questioned,
especially in New York, where 25,000 chll-
dren are without school room and where th
foreign element is so large that means of
assimilation with American customs are
most urgent. The new schools for the Rus
sian Immigrants es tabllshedunder the Baron
de Hirf oil fund have nn aggregate attend
ance of over 700, and consist of both day and
evening t-clinols, of preparatory classes ior
the public schools and of industri.il classes
to fit the-pupils for remunerative occupa
tions. Three months tuition in the preparatory
classes fits children for the fifth grade of
the primary department. Tho evening
classes for those who work in shops during
the day are said to be especially useful.
There Is no trifling among tne pnpils, as all
seem to recognize the serious purpose for
which thoy come together. In the industrial
departments classes have been established
for hairdresslng and dressmaking lor girls
and in the mechanical trades for men. Tho
schools aim to Inculcate tho Americau spirit
not only in tho instruction of tho English
language, but in stimulating self-iespect
and in cultivating Independence. Public
school methods aro followed and public
school teachers are secured, whenever it is
possible. The girls are nil addressed as
"young ladies," and the whole drift of tho
education is to raise the pupils above the
drudgery to which they are condemned.
The experiment wins approval by its earn
estness and by its attitude of respect toward
American institutions. Such schools for
foreigners aro to be encouraged, for they do
not seek to antagonize their pupil- against
our methods or cause disrespect of our sys
tems. TALK OP THE TIMES.
The Republican clubs are taking tho Re
publicans out of the People's parry, leaving
nothing in it but Democrats. Kansas City
Star. The same tiling IS happening in Ohio,
if all the accounts aro true.
Mills camo and went from Ohio. Repub
licans sorrow that he has gone, and Demo
crats are sorry that he over came. Chicago
Inter-Ocean. Altogether the Democrats over
there are having a sorry time of it.
Mexico has bull fights lor charity. Mexico
needs civilizing. The approved way of
raising money lor charitable purposes is to
hold churoh fairs. Buffalo Express. This
was a church fair, only on a different plan.
The country has much to ho thankful for,
after all. Jerry Simpson is not a natural born
citizen, and cannot bo a candidate for the
Presidency. New York Commercial Advertiser.
Ho lias a faculty, though, of making those
who can be candidates -wish they couldn't
be.
A TSAR ago at this timothe Democratio
organs nnd orators all over the country
could talk about nothing but the disasters
the McKinley bill was sure to bring upon the
people of the United States. Denver Repub
lican. They are still talking, hut it does not
have any effect.
An herb ha3 been discovered in Yucatan
that will euro almost any type of insanity.
This is another stumbling block in the path
way of tho Alliance political movement.
Springfield Journal As there never was any
movement to Alliance politics, how could a
stumbling block be put in their pathway.
While Porter's census puts tho number of
orange trees in California at 300,000, the Board
or Agriculture of that State finds that it Is
4,000,000. Porter, it seems Is farther out of
the way in counting orange trees than in
numbering tho popnlation. If there Is a
single page in his census report which does
not contain a blunder he should senditto
the World's Fair ns a rare curiosity. Chi
cago Herald. The question is wouldaperma
pent census bureau do any better?
AKTJIENT TELEGBAPHY. "
The Greeks and Romans Had
Curious
System in Olden Times.
Spare Moments.
The ancient Grcoxs and Romans practised
telegraphy with the help of pots filled witn
straw and twigs saturated in oil, which, be
ing placed in rows, expressed certain letters
according to the order in which they were
lighted; but the only one of their contriv
ances that merits a detailed description was
that invented by a Grecian general named
jEneas, who flourished In the time of Aris
totle, intended for communication between
tho generals of an army. It consisted of two
exactly similar earthen vessels, filled with
water, each provided with a cock that would
discharge an equal quantity of water in a
given time, so that the whole or any part of
the contents would escape in precisely the
same period from both vessels.
On,the surface of each floated a piece of
cork supporting an upright marked off Into
divisions, each division having a certain
sentence inscribed upon it. One of tho ves
sels was placed at each station, and when
either party desired to communicate, he
lighted a torch, which he held aloft until
the other did the same, as a sign that ho -nas
all attention. On the sender of the mesiago
lowering or extinguishing his torch, each
party immediately openod the cock of his
vessel, and so left it until the sender re
lighted his torch, when it-nas at once closed.
Tho receiver then read the sentence on tho
division of tho upright that was level with
the moutli ot the vessel.and which, if every
thing had been executed with exactness,
corresponded with that of tho sender, and
so conveyed tho desired information. The
first electric telegraph at all deserving the
name -nas invented by Messrs. Cooke and
Wheatstono, and was laid on the London
and Blackwall Railway in June, 1837.
CLUBS JOB THE WOMEN.
They Indl cote an Increased Pnrsnlt of Beg
nlar Vocations.
New York World.
The women of New York have formed an
other club. This time it is a club of college
bred women ard is formed on the pattern of
the men's University Club. Thero lias been
such an essential difference between the
man's club and tho woman's club, however,
thatit has boon until recently a misnomer
to speak of the latter as a club at all. The
only woman's club possible that shall at all
resemble tho man's club must bo composed
of busy women who need a place where they
may And perpetual social relaxation and
where they can meet in a bunch, so to
speak, the women whom they want to seo
and upon whom, except for tho club, they
must waste much time in making single calls,
Tho woman of leisure has no need of a
club. Her husband has if he is a man of
affairs, for he would otherwise see no one
except occasionally some other man who
misht drop into his house. Clubs were
started in England lor gambling purposes.
Then in Aune's time they became the re
sorts of the wits, and now they are great
conveniences, giving homes to men who
have them not, and social pleasures to those
whjpihave not time or Inclination to hunt
very lar for them. Clubs are an accompani
ment of busiiioss in this age and country,
and women's clubs indicate an increase in
the number of women who are pursuing
regular vocations.
The Most Civilized Nation.
iCMca(toNewi.3
Jerry Husk has introduced the American
hog to Germany and Italy and now an
Englishman has escorted ten of the fow re
maining American buffalo to Great Britain.
Now if wo can get lid of the Anglomaniac
and the moccusln snake we will be the most
civilized nation on the.eartb.
f . Drive Them Into Their Holes.
lKmton,RepBlUcan,
The letter from Mr. Blaine, fully setting
forth his hearty indorsement of the MeKin.
ley tnriff.law, and his earnest hope that tho
author or JtUflt bill might be elected Gov
ernor of Ohio, -should havo tho effect to
drive a lot of persistent campaign liars into
their holes.
Shadows Cast Before.
Clilcogo Inter Oce.ui.
As wo approach tho ides of November
the Democratic hoso begius to blush and
tho' cheek to pale. It is "coming events
casting shadov3'boforc."'
MURRAY'S MUSINGS.
XV-aud Practiced Under Cover or Legitimate
Brokerage AH Letters Liable to Bo
Opened Writing Letters in a Hotel
Tin dn SieclB Royalty.
FROM A STAIT COnnESPONDEST.l
New York, Oct. 24, If there were any
way to reach a certain class of alleged
brokers by operation of law, it would save a
great many innocent and ignorant people
from being mercilessly plucked. Unfor
tunately it seems quite as difficult to reach
some swindlers by law as It Is to lessen tho
annual crop of fools. By tho side of this
particular class of "brokers" the "green
goods" man dwindles into insignificance.
This because the ostensible brokerago busi
ness is considered quite legitimate.
Tho way these men operate is by the in
sertion of small advertisements in the
country newspapers of the interior, promis
ing investments that are sure to turn from
100 to 1.C0O per cent profit to the investor.
without material risk. By consulting the
files of almost' any country weekly at a dis
tance from New York, you will see these ad
vertisements. They usually call for re
mittances of from $10 to $100. These
amounts are to ba used as mar
gin in certain stock transactions, on
which the broker pretends to have a sure
tip. As a matter of fact tho money so sent
is not invested at all. It is salted down in
the broker's Inside pocket. Tho returns al
most invariably sent to the investor are to
tho effect that the stock went the wrong
way. If tho Investment is sufficiently largo
the investor is called upon to make good his
margin, with a promise or a certain turn in
the market whereby the original expecta
tions of a small fortune will be surely
realized. If tho country investor be ignor
ant or innocent enough he will probably
send on additional amounts, and as long-as
these are forthcoming he will do bled.
In some respects this partakes of similar1
larger transactions in Wall street, wherein
brokors of more repute and wealth are con
cerned. It is not necessary to say that the
fools who monkey with stocks are not con
fined to these small speculators, but the
losses attendant upon such alleged invest
ments fall more heavily upon them than
upon the men who deal in thousands in
Wall street. If tho metropolitan newspapers
would turn their calcium lights upon somo
of theso swindlers the results would be
hailed with a good deal of satisfaction by all
honest men.
Sacredness of the Malls.
"I noticed a short time ago," said a
Washington official, "that some objection
was made by a Mr. Pell, of the San Domingo
Shore Lino road, to the opening of a private
letter by the Chief of tho Secret Service
Bureau. It Is not generally known that the
rules of the PostofDce Department empower
inspectors to open suspicious letters at dis
cretion. The public appear to be very much
astonished at this proceeding mentioned,
but I assure you that it is carried to a
greater extent than even those who know
all about it suppose. In fact, under the
rules of the Postafflce Department, almost
anvprivatelettercanbo opened and read.
This will surprise some people, I presume,
but It is nevertheless true, and a reference
to the private Instructions to postomce In
spectors, which are in printed form, will
convince anybody or it. Whether such
secret privileges are overused illegitimately
would be difficult to find out. It is a good
deal like ariestiugamanon suspicion. As
a matter of fact therefore you will seethe
United States mails are no more sacred than
the malls in Russia or any other country, so
far as Government espionage is concerned."
At a Hotel Writing Table.
Did you ever notice the writers about a
hotel writing tablet They present a curious
study. Unless a man is a drummer and is
accustomed to the surroundings tho writing
of letters at a table where he touches el
bows with his neighbors is accompanied by
difficulties almost as great as those which
oonfiontmost men in writing a telegram.
The novice in the latter art will stand at a
telegraph window and spend half an hour
more or less in selecting 10 or 20 words to
convey his thoughts by wire. Ho will tear
up three or four blanks or carelessly leave
several half-finished dispatches lying
around, and finally, after suocess crowns
his efforts, turn away with tho air of a man
who has just finished half a day's work.
Yonr hotel letter writer proceeds with
more deliberation. He comes in with half a
dozen sheets of note paper and hotel enve
lopes to match and sits down at the tabic.
The pens of the usual horrible hotel typo
are always on tho other side of the parti
tion, and as he reaches for them three or
fonr other men who have just succeeded in
composing their thoughts look up at him
with scowls of disgust. They apparent
ly entertain tho suspicion that somebody
is trying to find out what they aro
Tho Young Knlers of the World.
"I am thinking of writing a book," said
Mr. Frank G. Carpenter, the well-known let
ter writer and traveler, "on the kings I have
met and interviewed. We consider ourselves
the only progressive country,"hecontlnued,
"but the observant traveler abroad must re
mark the extraordinary progress of those
countries that havo been tied down by cen
turies of tradition. In Slam I found rail
roads finished and projected telephones and
electric lights. I was somewhat astonished
at being received Dy theliingjustnslwonld
he received in tho White nouse. Our histor
ies convey the idea of a barbarian reigning
over a barbarous people with despotic
power. So it used to be. Where I was re
ceived standing along with the Ministersand
other attendants men formerly got access
only by creeping in inte serpents ana men
out again In tho samo way. Electrlo lights
blazed over the throne, and tele
phones and telegraphic instruments met
the eye in the outer corridors. They made
me removo my spectacles before I entered,
however, nobody hut the nobility bein al
lowed to wear spectacles. Tho young King
is writing a book in tho English language,
and the volume will bo Illustrated by pic
tnres taken with a kodak. The Khedive of
Egypt is a monogamist among polygnmlsts.
He is a very learned man, neither drinks nor
smokes, and can reclto the Koran backward
as well as forward. What man in the United
States can recite the Blblo cither way?
"The King of Greeco is about 85, with a
complexion as clear as that of a baby, and
he talks a dozen languages. The young men
to-day aro rullng.the world," concluded Mr.
Carpenter. "The boy Emperor of Germany
is another sample of progressive youth.
King Humbert of Italy is another. With tho
progress that these young rulers have mado
in European government, what may we not
expect from their successors?"
Sons of Two Famous Men.
In a downtown cafe the other day I
met two gentlemen whose names will recall
remarkable men and remarkable events in
American history. They were Lieutenant
Fiemont and Lieutenant Lawrence, of the
United States Navy. Tho formor is the son
of tho late distinguished John C. Fremont,
'The Path Finder,' who ran for President of
tho United States, and the other was Law
rence, the grandson of the heio of Lake
Erie, old "Don't give up the ship." That
these two gentlemen should come into the
New Yoik lunch room for something to cat
and drink was nothing remarkable, but that
they should coiho in arm and arm, two naval
chmns, was something sufficient to stir the
imagination. Lieutenant Fremont is at
tached to tho now cruiser "Philadelphia."
He is a fine bpeclmen of manhood as was his
father betoro him,
"Wo expect soon to leave for Germany,"
said Lieut. Fremont, "on the errand of cour
tesy from tho President of the United States
to the German Emperor In relation to tho
American hog. We anticipate a very pleas
ant time and are of course delighted with
the prospect. Perhaps under the circum
stances it would bavebeen more appropriate
forthls government to have sent the "Chi
cago" on this errand, especially if wo are to
convey a silver pig an ap resent to tho young
emperor. Ch.uii.es THEODonE Mukbay.
A Yehrof Good Fortune.
Philadelphia Presj.J
The inability to secure enough machines
and men to operate them to thresh out the
wheat of the Dakotas and Minnesota is the
most decisive proof of the enormous crops
that region has produced this jcar. The
farmers are begging for machines and for
help, tho extra hands usually employed at
this season having proved utterly inade
quate, A11 organization has been formed in
St. Paul nnd Minneapolis, and a loud call has
been made on the unemployed threshers of
Minnesota, Iowa and Wisconsin to go to tho
help of tho overlaxed farmers. The rall
loads have offorod to help, and machines,
witli crews to man them, will bj sunt at re
duced rates and lierever thero is a demand
for them. It Is nut often that the larmei-s of
tiio Northwest aro to overwhelmed with
good fortunotiis they aro this year, and havo
to call upon tho outside world to uelp them
realize It.
OWING TO PB0TECTI0K.
Colonel Churchill GlvesHU View Concern
Ins the Ohio Election.
Chicago Inter-Ocean.l
"I am not very familiar with tho history
of tho United States Sirica I left the coun
try," said Colonel M. M. Churchill, of Zanes
ville. "The newspapers or Europe publish
about two 'stlokfuls of American news
daily.'and one of tho 'sticks usually de
scribes a lynching or something else of the
sort that is calculated to mako readers look
upon the United States as a highly elvllizod
country. There are about two columns a
day from Afghanistan and Cabool which
illustrates tho relative importance of na
tions in Continental eyes. The opprobrium
which I have heard hurled at McKinley all
over Europe has not deprived me of tho be
lief that ir there is any man in Ohio who
could bo elected Governor, McKinley is that
man. In fact Europe's condemnation has
strengthened this belief.
"I have not been In Ohio for sixmntbs,
but I am told that the dangerous hold which
the People's party and other "fad" parties
were gaining on the State has been mate
rially relaxed. This I deem fortunate. The
Democrats havo always had the usufruct of
such political outgrowths. This is due to
the mastery which the Democratic party
has achieved in the art of time-serving
and coddling. The Democrats have been
krfown, for Instance, to carry a prohibition
element and a liquor element in each hand,
and, by a marvelous perfection in riding two
horses at one and tho same time, hold both.
The whole Republican party has an enor
mous stake in the Ohio campaign. If Mc
Kinley is not elected understand, I do not
believe thero is the remotest chance for his
defeat but if such a thing were to happen
the calamityites and the free traders would
send forth a yawp of this sort: "Now Where's
your protection? Here's the constructor of
protection throttled in his own Stato! Down
with the robber tariff I' and so on. Tho de
feat of McKinley would by no means indicate
that Ohio was dissatisfied with protection.
It would rathar show the strength of tho
Alliance crowd and the lack of a full Repub
lican vote. But the Democrats would emit
a wild shriek that it was all owing to pro
tection." VALUE OF THE WAGES.
Its Effect in Politics Has Been Greatly Over
estimated. St. Louis Globe-Democrat.3
The truth is the-valneof the wager as a
gange of partisan tendencies and as a meas
ure of partisan chances has been generally
and absnrdly overestimated. So far as re
gards the New York election this j'ear it is
especially unreliable. The bet merely rep
resents the judgment of tho person making
it, after such a look over the field as ho Is in
a position to take. Personal preferences and
prejudices inspire it, in the first place, to a
greater degree than the individual himself
cares to acknowlege, or perhaps even than
be actually realizes. Theso feelings, uncon
sciously to him, magnify the chances of his
own candidate as well as diminish those of
the opposing nominee.
ne starts out by hoping that his candi
date will win, and unless the candidate is
obviously and seriously handicapped in the
race his preference is likely to ultimately
impel him to believe that tho candidate will
win. Then he is in the mood to risk his
money on his favorite. But this confidence
is far from being an infallible indication of
the direction of the political wind. More
over, to the element of unreliability which
usually attaches to guesses of this sort there
is, In tho case of New York at the present
time, an added factor of uncertainty, to-wit:
Tho independent and floating vote, which
has in recent years generally supported tho
Democratic ticket, is, in 1091, divided or on
the fenco, and nobody is in a position to
make an accurate estimate of the effect
which this state of things will havo on the
fortunes of the opposing organizations.
VIEWS FB0H THE SOUTH.
TnREB cheers for'the "star spangled ban
ner." Augusta Chronicle.
It is remarked that "Mr. Blaine's letter on
the McKinley law is the best possible certifi
cate of his restoration to healthJ San An
tonio Express.
TnE United States Government will before
many years make tho telegraph a part of
the postal system, which will never do what
it ought to be until that has been done. To
fight against this "reform" is to flght against
fate. Richmond Dispatch.
Whk3 there are short crops in Europe and
long in America, everything is lovely on
this side of the water. Bnt when thero aro
long crops in Enropo ana long crops in
America at the same time, tho farm mort
gage steps in and takes a hand in agricult
ure. Louisville Courier-Jourier.
Pkotessiosal Democrat Hill is glorifying
greatly all along the line to tho Atlanta cel
ebration. But those D. B. initials of his ap
pear somewhat in tho natare of a hoodoo.
Possibly they might also be so construed as
to account for tho-o "two private cars" that
the hallelujah party is said to be jaunting
in. Savannah A'cws.
It is questionable if the annexation of
Canada would bo of the slightest benefit t j
United Statos, but before even the question
of expediency can be considered our nation
al defenses must be put in order and our
navy elevated from the low place, it now
holds to a level with that of the most pow
erful fleets of the world. Hew Orleans Pica
yune. No country on earth has moro beautiful
crops than are raised in tho South. It is
hard to say which of our three staple plants
is the most beautiful. Is it the sheat of
golden wheat, the cotton plant in its fine
foliage and bloom, or tho stately nativo In
dian corn in its luxuriant green blades, red
silks and tall tassels. Every well cultivated
field Is a flower garden of both beauty and
wealth. Dallas Hews.
Ir Governor Hill would consent to come to
onr Exposition he would meet as enthusias
tic and magnanimous a welcome as he could
expect anywhere in New York Stato. Ho
would bo mistaken, however, if he inter
preted it to mean that the people were for
him for President. In that connection,
there is no other name in it in Alabama but
that of Cleveland, and from tho way the
land lies now, his will be the only name to
go before tho next National Democratic
Convention. Montgomery Advertiser.
Two Are for Cleveland.
Lawrence Journal.
Ex-Secretary Bayard Is said to bo strongly
in favor of tho rcnomination or Cleveland.
That makes two who havo declared them
selves in lavor of that measure. Tho other
Is Cleveland.
A SPANISH LOVE DANCE.
Drake's Magazine.
The silvery moon like a shield hangeth o'er,
The wind In the nopalcs thicket
Soft sighs, while the bloom of the sycamore
Mingles sweet with the rose at the wicket;
The pita palms nod. while a shadow-ray
G ildes dreamily over the grasses.
The song of a thrush where syrlngas sway
Fades softly away as it passes.
And llst!-from yon gleaming terrace stair
The notes of the mandolin ringing.
Float dreamily over the perfnmeil air
With the voices cr maidens singing;
And look! through the mellow moon's pale light
A scene to the heart entrancing,
A trio of virgins robed In unite
A La Fandango dancing.
See, Santa Juanna, the fairest of all.
Leads the otners with grace in advancing.
Toward her lover Jose, who sits 'neath the wall.
At Ms sweetheart admlrlrgly glancing;
Her bright eyes sparkling like ruby wine.
Her castanet wildly she's tapping.
While her heart leapeth high in a whirl of de
light. And her bau(r!es and sennits are snapping. ,
No foot half as nimble, no voice half as sweet.
As gracefully forward she's swinging,
AVhlle her creamy arms curl o'er her turban and
meet
As at random ripe klssVs she's flinging;
A dainty arched ancle, a glimpse of silk hose,
Willi the glcaui of a Jeweled clasp blending.
Which a half-tinted flaunt of her gown doth dis
close, A tare tout ensemble are lending.
See Jose' 'mid the hazel, his tender black eye
'Neath his liroad-brlmiucd pctasus Is beaming.
While a fast-fading star shoots down from the
sky,
A loe-Hnce athwart lus face gleaming
And whist! of a sudden his dusky formd. i.j
O'er the grass where the shadows aro waking.
And the moon softly smiles while two passionate
hearts.
The old twice-told pledges are making.
CURIOUS CONDENSATIONS.
Battle snake oil is worth $15 per ounce.
The fly travels at a. speed of 11 miles an
hour.
Someone has figured that a watch tick
160,144,000 times a year.
In eight per cent of the marriages one
Of the parties have been, married before.
Young women can be purchased in
West Africa for three kegs of powder and a
rifle.
There are onlv 40,000 Hawaiian Is
landers left. Fifty" years ago there were
80,000.
There are 46,000 oil wells In the United
States which produce about 130,000 barrels of
oil per day.
The air is so rarified'at Leadville, CoL,
that cats cannot live there. Itat3 are nu
merous, however.
A Birmingham, Ala., girl, 5 years old,
weighs 100 pounds. She is 43 inches tall and
measures 43 inches around the waist.
Brazil was discovered In 1486, and was
settled first by tho Spaniards in 1515. Hol
landmade a settlement in 1621, bat her land
was seized in 1G54 by PortugaL
The largest bell in the world isthegreat
bell at. Moscow. Its circumference at tha
bottom is nearlr 63 feet and its height more
than 21 feet. The thickest part is 23 inches
thiok. It weighs 433,723 pounds and has never
been hung.
The total area of Austria is 300,024.38
square kilometres; that of Hungary, 322,283.3
square kilometres; and of Bosnia and Herze
govina, 63.677 f-quare kilometres, making a
total or 675,9(6.41 square kilometres, or 26V
993.61 square miles.
There are somewhat over 100 inde
pendent malt factories (not including those
connected with breweries). In Austria-Hun-"-gary,
60 of which aro in Moravia, 10 in Silesia,
and the rest distributed over Bohemia,
Lower Austria and Hungary.
In the year 1888, according to the
Economiste Francois, there were 23,472 di
vorces in the United States, or nearly 4,000
more than were granted in France, England,
Italy, Germany. Holland, Sweden, Norway,
Boumanla and Canada together.
Austria is the home of a conglomera
tion of separate races and nationalities. Its
22,000,000 Inhabitants speak the following
languages, besides various idioms: Ger
man, Czech. Polish. Ruthenlan, Slavonian
Italian, Croatian and Hungarian.
The total population of Austria, ac
cording to the last census, taken on Decem
ber 31, 1880, was 22,144,244: that of Hungary by
tho same census was 15,738,468: and that of
Bosnia and Herzegovina was 1,142,147; mak
ing a total population for tho empire of Austria-Hungary
of 39,021,850.
The new city library in Chicago will
occupy the block bounded by Michigan ave
nue, Washington and Randolph streets and
Dearborn place. It will cost $1,750,000. and
tbofrontage will be 355 feet, depth 147 feet
and height 102 feet. The librarv will be ar
ranged to hold 500,000 volumes. It now con
tains over 170,000 volumes.
It Is worthy of remark that the total
area of the Anstro-Hungarian monarchy, in
cluding the occupied Turkish provinces of
Bosnia and Herzegovina, is, next to Russia,
the largest country of Europe; but it i' only
third In population, the empires of Russia
and Germany numbering more inhabitants.
The area of Austria-Hungary is 13,000 square
miles less than that of Texas.
The largest steam shovel in the world is
digging out phosphate In the mines at John's
Island, near Charleston, S. C. Its weight is
56 tons. It can dig to a depth of 10 feet below
its track and to a distance of 45 feet on
either side. The dipper, which can swing
through two-thirds of a circle, has a capacity
of lcnbic yards, and about two dippers
full can be handled in a minute.
The Jlormons who fled to Mexico about
five vears ago aro flourishing in their new
home. They are settled a little east of the
SiernuMadre Monntalns, in about ZSP north
latitude, whero fertile Casa3 Grandes Valley
gives them plenty ofrich land to till. Some
of theso settlers mado homes further east,
but they aro retreating to the larger settle
ments near the mountains, where the cli
mate is better and crops aro easier to raise. ""
Polygamous marriages, it is said, aro con
tracted there with impunity.
There are hundreds of thousands ot
islands. ' There aTe over 1.000 islands under
the flag of Japan, and in Georgian Bay, the
north extension or Lake Huron, where we
find very few islands on the map, there are
in reality several thousand islands, most of
them, of course, quite small. It was among;
these beautiful wooded little islands that
the Huron Indians took refuge when thoy
were assailed in 1649 by their implacable
foes, the Iroqnois. Among the labyrinthine
channels the Iroquois could not successfully
pnrsne them, and those who escaped to the
islands saved themselves from the extermi
nation which befell their friends.
The house where Betsy Boss made the
first American flag stands at 239 Arch street,
Philadelphia. Betsy was consulted by
Washington and George Morris about the
flag, and snggested a five-cornered star,
which was adopted. Then she made the
flag, and afterward others for the fleet then
in the Delaware river. The house in whioh
she lived is now in a business part of the
city. Betsy had the contract to make all the
Government flairs for many years. She was
married three time?, her first hnsband, John
Clay Pole, being a lineal descendant of Oli
ver Cromwell. The old.house is owned by
Mrs. Amelia Mudd.
BAZAR BTJZZINGS.
"If you want to destroy the odor of fresh
paint in a room, putahandrnl of fresh hay la a
pail and let It stand there over night."
"Oh, I've a simpler way than that. Bon a cauli
flower OTer the gas."
"Did you ever get licked while you were
a boy, papa?" asked Johnny.
"No," said papa, emphatically.
"How was that!" queried Johnny, suspiciously.
Because, my boy, I was the fastest runner la
the whole school."
Her Father Well, sir, suppose I should
say "No?" ,
Suitor I wish yon wonld.
I think of the happy times of play,
My days at school of yore.
Bat all the same I'm glad to say
I don't go anymore.
"Tour hard-wood floors are always so ex
quisitely polished. How do you manage to keep
them so?"
"I put chamois-stln trousers on the children and
let them play on the floor."
He And yon did not forget that we were
engaged, dirt rou, Maud, while you were away?
She No. George: I couldn't. Mamma kept re
minding me of it aU the time.
She Tou will never ask me to do tha
cooking, will you. love?
He No, pet. I have a touch of the dyspepsia al
ready. "Why did the new girl leave?"
"I paid her in advance."
"I shouldn't think she would havb objected to
that."
"She didn't; it pleased her so she couldn't
work."
A burnt child dreads the fire, they sayf
And this likewise is trite
As I can prove most any day
An unburnt child doe3 too.
Miss Coqnet (to servant) Tell Mr. Sharpe
that I am engaged.
Mr. Sharpe (to servant)-TeU Miss Coqnet that I
expressed a curiosity to know whom she is engaged
to now.
'Tou don't call this a furnished house,
do you?" said the house seeker.
"Certainly," returned the agent. "It has 15
rooms, a cellar, a rurnace, flues, roof, chimneys,
floors, ceilings, plumbing. I never knew s house
better rurnlshed than that."
She hates him, how she hates him!
That vile photographer
Who took her tintype by the sea
And said It looked like her.
Bev. Granberry So you want this baby
baptized, eh. rompeyf
Pompey Dat's what I'm hyar fob.
Ttev. Granberry What's the child's name?
Pompey We done name her fob dat Italian lady,
sail, Mafia, sab.
"Mr. Upholsterer, I would like to buy a
nice reception chair. Something new."
"We hare Just the thing, madame. Here It
is. Made especially for onr trade. Take a seat on
It."
"Dearme! Why this chair Ir awf all Iconldn't
sit on It Are minutes. I never sat on such an un
comfortable thlngln myllfel"
"Exactly, madame. That is Just tho idea. Tou
see. it is male for callers."
"What is your name, little girl?" asked
a gentleman ofa 5-ycar-o!d maid.
"Mildred Amy Boles, sir."
The next day the same gentleman saw the child
ag.tin, and for want of something better to say,
asked her name once more. t&i.:
-"It's the same now It' was yesterday.';, rHd
the little girl, stiffly. " " aBaMK,
Y -V- 1 ' t, V , X JttsssssssssssK.'
i, ... .TW .V -, . " I j-. . j.-.lr,lsssssssssssK.