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The courtesy of re turning rejected manuscripts trill be extended ulten stamps for that purpose are inclosed, but tlte Editor of TnE DrsrATcn tciH under no cir cumstances be responsible for the care of vnsoltc ited manuscripts. l'OTAtlE All persons who mall the Sunday issue of The Dispatch to friends should hear in mind the fact that the post age thereon is Two (2) Cents. All double and triple number copies of The Dispatch require a 2-cent stamp to insure prompt delUerj. PITTSBURG. SUNDAY, AUGUSTS, 18M1 AN CNFUtrilJ-ED JEREMIAD. A bad attack of midsummer madness is exhibited by the Atlanta Constitution in resurrecting a speech of Senator Hill's from the forgotten political records in as serting that its Jeremiah-like prophecies have come to pass. The speech in ques tion was evidently a fulmination against the reconstruction enactments, and it abounded in predictions of evil The ex pectations of the Georgia Senator were that commerce all over the country would be prostrated, industries of all sorts would be paralyzed, debts be repudiated, starva tion ensue, the people of every State and city be divided into hostile factions, law be disregarded and the most frightful civil war in the world's annals take place. As an incident in this interesting condi tion of things "robbers will fill our mount ains and forests, assassins will come boldly from all hiding places, clans of burglars and thieves will hunt the rich as herds of buffalo hunt the green pastures, and insa tiate wickedness will rend and tear all that is pure and good as the hungry Hon when fleshing his tooth in the young and tender fawn." To this effusion the Atlanta paper gives the indorsement of asserting that it is partly realized already, and that the rest is coming to pass. It founds that asser tion on the indications of political sup pression, the growth of plutocracy, and the fact that "the Federal Gov ernment is becoming Russianized and the States and their people are becoming Mexicanized." This outburst of some un reconciled adherent of the old States rights idea is all the more absurd because there is not in the evils of the present day any approach to the evils predicted in Senator Hill's Jeremiad, and such evils as are most dangerous are traceable to causes entirely distinct from the legislation which he denounced. We can see after the lapse of twenty years that there were mistakes in the re construction legislation. But that should not make us so blind as to imagine that the absurd predictions quoted above are in any degree verified. Commerce and in dustry were to be paralyzed, and the fact is they have experienced immense growth and accession of vigor. Debts were to be repudiated and starvation ensue; which is further from being the case now than ever before. Eobbers and assassins were to hunt the rich in disregard of law, and the chief evil of the day is that the rich seize advantages over the masses in disregard of law. Xowitmaybe true that If' this country falls irremediably under the sway of the great and irresponsible masses of wealth there may be in the future some terrible revulsion. But that is no vindication of Senator Hill's Jeremiad. The impending evil is something quite contrary to what he predicted; and if there is any such cataclysm in the future it will be the re Eult not of the legislation he antagonized, but of an evil which twenty years later is not fully developed. The esteemed Con stitution should make an effort to keep up with the century and to get out of the shadows of defunct Bourbonism. CEASED TO BE FUNNT. The recent activity of Mr. Alles, the city real estate agent, whose outbreaks have caused successively commotions at church, at camp, and at police court, sug gests very decidedly that, where evi dences of violent derangement are ex hibited, official restraint and competent care 6hould be set upon the subject It is unfortunate, of course, that Mr. Alles' mental equilibrium has been upset; but the authorities have shown altogether too much dclicicy about putting him under effective control The antics yesterday, in which his former partner suffered as sault and several other individuals were badly frightened, might have been fore seen from previous exhibitions. It is much the best for subjects of violent delusion to be placed where they can do no harm. In this particular in stance the community has been quite educated by Mr. Alles gyrations during the week up to the point of believing that a brief period of enforced retirement would be fitting. The affair of his being at large has ceased to be at all funny, and it should be allowed to proceed no farther. TnE rETROLEUM IXURKY. The oil market has been the scene of some remarkablo fluctuations in price during the past two days. The break on Friday to CO cents the lowest price for nearly two decades was followed by an equally abrupt rise yesterday of nearly 20 cents. These violent fluctuations have in both cases taken the trade by surprise. The utter deadness of the market for some months prior to the movement has been its most distinguishing feature; and it is a tolerably safe conjecture that not very much money was lost or won either by the break of Friday or the rally of yesterday. There has been as yet no attempt to ex plain the break; but the advance of yes terday is generally attributed to the action of the Staudard in abolishing premiums. Exactly why the reduction of fresh and marketable petroleum to the level of the stock that has laid in tanks for years should add forty per cent to the value of the entire production is something speculators can find an explanation for at their leisure. The most cogent phase of the abolition of premiums is that the Standard has, tem porarily at least, such complete control of the crude market for actual consumption that it can abolish premiums. If there were any fields where competitors could ob tain fresh oil wo may be sure that the pre mium would not be abolished there. The fact that this is an entirely con trolled market, and that the speculative public is not concerned in the fluctuations, furnishes the most manifest theory of their cause. The manipulators are trying to arouse a new speculative interest. The old supply of lambs was fleeced and killed off long ago. "Whether a new stock can. be developed by the discovery that if a man had bought oil on a margin of CO cents Friday night he would have quad rupled his money by Saturday noon is the question on which the persons that push the market up and down are experiment-' lng. THE MANCHESTER CANAL. The Manchester Ship Canal, now ap proaching completion, affords interesting figures for students of the canal question. It is worthy of notice that this great enter prise, which is to turn the city of Man chester into a seaport, set a good example in avoiding the modern vice of stock watering. The total capitalization is 545, 000,000 of paid-up shares and 515,000,000 in bonds guaranteed by the city of Man chester. In the items of $8,500,000 spent in buying the franchises of the old Mersey and Irwell Navigation Company, and about 6,000,000 expended for "securing legislation and paying for litigation," there may be room for a certain degree of litiga tion. But this company represents a marked contrast from the rule which seems likely to be followed by the Nica ragua Canal Company, of building the work on bonds and making the shares pure water. "With the sum of about 545,000,000 for actual construction 35 miles of canal have been built, with an average width of 172 feet at the bottom and 230 at the water level, and with a water depth of 30 feet at low tide. Comparing this result of actual work with the estimates for the Ohio River and Lake Erie Canal, it will be seen that it represents a work of one-sixth the length, but many times greater in sectional area. The comparison of the purposes of the canal is, however, the most cogent Manchester is a city of perhaps twice the size of Pittsburg; and it spends a little more than twice as much money to be made a seaport as is necessary to make Pittsburg a lake port But Pittsburg has far greater prospects of expansion than Manchester, and the proportionate import ance of the cost of transportation in pro portion to the value of her products is more than four times as great. It is a moderate assertion to say that the incentives to Pittsburg to secure the con struction of the Ohio Elver and Lake Erie Canal are more than twice as great in pro portion to the cost of the work than those which have brought the Manchester Canal into existence. Pittsburg capital and entrpriss ought to show itself to be as wide awake as that of Manchester. THE SCHMERTZ EMBARRASSMENT. Among those who know the generous and kindly spirit which William E. Schmertz always exhibited in his long business career in this city, the regret will be sincere and general that financial re verses should now come to him. This feeling will be intensified by the circum stance of his protracted ill health, which without doubt is the chief cause of the embarrassment of his affairs. It is assert ed that when his business comes to a set tlement a balance will be found upon the right side, and that temporary conditions are more responsible for the present em barrassment than want of good assets to meet all claims. This latter favorable outcome would be indeed what might be expected from Mr. Schmertz's long success in business pre vious to the past year, and from the well known character for prudence, conserv atism, and close attention to details which he always maintained until his health failed him. The community of which he has so long been a useful and respected member will wish him safe upon his feet again, and meanwhile will extend un affected sympathy in the misfortunes, with the confidence that they will prove but temporary both as to health and pocket MB. DEPEVTS FRANKNESS. Mr. Chauncey M. Depew, in a recent newspaper article, drew a strong contrast between the conveniences offered the trav ellngpublic on American railways and their absence on Continental lines. Some of the appurtenances to railway cars which are taken as matters of course inthis country are utterly lacking on the Continent; while European travel is utterly without a comprehension of the system by which a man can from his hotel in He w Tork direct his trunk to be checked, and give himself no more worry about it until he orders It taken to his room in San Francisco. These things are undoubtedly true, Tet the most remarkable part of Mr. Depew's contrast is the explanation he gives of its causes. He correctly attributes the short comings of the European railway system to its ownership in great part by an auto cratic and non-progressive government Having no rivalry, the government monopoly is without incentive to improve ment, while, as Mr. Depew says, Ameri can improvements are-due to&een compe tition. Mr. Depew further strengthens the position as follows: A dozen different railway lines vie actively with each other for the traffic between New Tork and Chicago, but a Frenchman about to take his departure from his beloved Paris has no choico in tho matter. One company will take him south, but only one; another runs to the west or norm, but neither has a rival; and it is so in every part of France. The icsult is, therefore, that while free com petition has blessed the United States with the model railway system of the world, France, lingering still in the darkness of monopoly, has not yet acquired what some good people call a "realizing sense" of her own inferiority. This is a remarkable outburst of frank ness for a railway president It has not been surpassed except by the utterance of Mr. George B. Roberts in Pittsburg some time ago, in which he declared his belief that the interests of "Western Pennsylvania were entitled to the comptition which his corporation had shortly before," success fully suppressed. But with this declara tion of "the blessing of free competition" in America and the burden of its absence in Europe, is it not remarkablo that Mr. Depew has for the past ten years or more stood as one of the foremost advocates of 1 THE 1 " 'I'-'P apian for denying to the public of the United States exactly that blessing, and has been one of those who industriously preached the doctrine that absolutely free competition is destructive? Every word quoted above is strictly true; and its truth was affirmed by an equally high authority many years ago, when the 2few York Court of Appeals in declaring the illegality of one of the early attempts at pooling asserted that the suppression of competition would render carriers' "safe against the reduction that would otherwise follow mean accom odations and want of skill and attention." This principle is exactly the one demon strated by Mr. Depew's observations in Europe. If there is such a thing as consis tency in the railway presidental mind, it must forever remove that gentleman from the ranks of those who are besieg ing each session of Congress for legisla tion to permit them to carry out their fa vorite schemes for suppressing competition. Mr. Depew draws this contrast for the sake of showing the argument it presents against the socialist programme of gov ernmental ownership of railways. It is an entirely valid argument in that connec tion; but it is equally cogent in showing that the best way in which the railway can avert that disaster is to reform its abuses, and to especially abjure its pet scheme of suppressing competition in order to pay dividends on flat capitalization. The report comes from England that Rudyard Kipling has returned from his trip to this country looking the picture of health. It is possible that the restoration of strength will give especial Vigor to some ot his com ments on American life and manners. The press is telling of a summer sojourner who went to a country store and asked for "Jane Welsh Carlyle's Letters," and got the reply "This ain't no postofflcel" This and kindred stories are intended to illustrate the ignorance of tho country storekeeper. But it is doubtful whether they do not exhibit an equal ignorance on the part of the inquirer. The person -who expects a country store to keep a full stock of current literature on hand, such as is only found in the largest city bookstores, is certainly in need of better Judgment. Ma Speeckxes and Mr. Haverneyer can keep on reducing the prices of sugar as long as they wish Jand the public will offer no ob jection. When they try to put up prices will be the time for the public objections to make themselves manifest. The Ohio People's Party knows what it wants to an extent varying from the for feiture of the Standard Oil Company's charter to the establishment of a graded in come tax and loans of Government money on real estate at 2 per cent. But this definite ness of Information as to what the Third Party demands, is moro than balanced by the entire lack of knowledgo as to tho num ber of votes it can poll and tho sources from which it will draw them. The prevailing warm wave is an evidence that summer is not over. It will also pro voke inquiries whether Uncle Jerry Busk's attention to county fairs and harvest homes has not permitted a serious slip in his Be pnblican weather. The famine, at least in some portions of India, is stated to have made itself evident in a dread and unquestionable way. The grasses have dried up so that the cattle can get little food; the crops have failed owing to the drought; and as the Indian population has little veserve of wealth the most Tearful sufferings are likely to ensue. The forces of Christendom will have to be set in motion to rescue the Indian population from its great peril. It is pleasant to learn from New York that the foundation of the Grant monument will be finished next month. This permits a hope that in the fullness of time there will be some show of actual work on the monu ment Itself. The consultation between President Har rison and Minister Charles Emory Smith re sults in a warning from the latter's paper that the people shall not give way to "mis guided enthusiasm" in-favor of Blaine. The public will not do 60. They may give way to spontaneous enthusiasm that is by no means misguided. TniRTY-SEVEN members of Congress at Saratoga indicate that the Congressional business last session must have been more lucrativo than it is generally credited with being. It is to the everlasting credit of the G. A. R. that the stupid attempt to draw the color line in its organization was a decided failure when it came to a vote. The Grand Army is true to its platform that any man who lought for the Union is worthy of its member ship, no matter what his color or social sta tion. The discovery of the Secretary of the Treasury that ho has $155,000,000 of a cash balance is more glittering than substantial. Where was the extra $150,000,000 discovered? The silver coinage idea said that an -ounce of silver was worth $1 29 on Thursday; but the market quotations said that it was worth $1 OG. The difference between the market ana the legal idea indicates that there is a desire to mono a fiat value of over 23 cents per ounce of silver. It is one of the Ironies of fate that the in formation crops out that John B. Bobinson's position in the Leaguo is based on the f ict that he himself represents a mushroom club. The answer to the libel of the Govern ment on tho Itata says that the vessel is the property of a trust. This will give the ad ministration a chanco to show how rigidly it enforces the anti-trust act, without disturb ing any of the influential trusts at home. ITT THE 400 AND OUT. Mrs. General Grant has an intense lovo for diamonds. The stones in her ears are aa large as gooseberries, and very fiery. THE formal application of Mark Hop kins widow to the County Court to bo al lowed to adopt Timothy Hogan as her son has been hunted up by a record searcher in San Francisco, and bears dare of July 9, 1879. The Countess of Radnor's "Ladies' String Band" is one of the Interesting features of London society. The fair musicians all dress in white, and are, moreover, all un usually good looking, so that their enter tainments are Invariably well attended. Ex-Senator IngaIiLS is devoting' that portion of the time not ocoupied upon the platform to writing a political book. This book, it is understood, will deal with cotem poraneons history in Mr. Ingalls' own Inim itable style, and is written with the double purpose of airing his political philosophy and paying off some old scores. The Empress of Austria's latest fads are climbing mountains 'and learning Greek. She also hunts for palaces in remote places. For the next few weeks she will be at Corfu, where she has discovered a very spacious two-story habitation, built and furnished after a Pompeiian model. Ex-Senator Spooner has shorn his long and wavy locks that used to fall thickly over hisByronio collar and gave him the name in Washington of tho "Laureate of the Senate." He is now as well groomed as any man in Congress. Mr. Spoonor is leading a qnlct life in Wisconsin, but he occasionally runs down to Chicago to make a political prognostication. Not only was the late Comtesse de Cham brnn a great patron of music and art, but her husband, who has been blind for the last five years, is also. To this tasto and enterT prise it was in a large measure due that thefr homo in Paris (formerly tho palace of the Princesse Louise de Bourbon, the sister of the Prince de Conde) was so long the re sort of nil tho literary Hnd artistic cclebrl tics ut the Ficnch capital. t PITTSBURG DISPATCH, COLOffEL HEED'S CHALLENGE. Pennsylvania to Be the Banner State at the Next Encampment. Detroit Free Fress. four Pittsburg gentlemen attracted a good deal of Attention at the Russell Hoose yes terday, and were, occasionally called to task by those who had favored Washington as the place for the next National Encamp ment. Colonel William U. Reed is a veteran in politics as well as in the ranks of the G. A. B. lie is President of the Americu or the Smoky City, one of tho strongest politi cal organizations in the country, and is also a trusted lieutenant of Quay, to whom he is related. The, Colonel landed la Detroit wearing a Washington badge and prepared to swing Pennsylvania for that elty. lie met Senator Manderson. The two shrewd manipulators had a long conference. The Snrsuastvo powers of the Westerner won the ay. When Colonel Reed came downstairs he was sporting a Linooln badge and busy ns a bee in white clover. lie was pounced upon by comrades, charged with treason, defied to carry Pennsylvania for Washington, and only his superb tact prevented personal encounters. It is conceded that politics has no place in G. A. B. circles, but Watt Quay was wired to, other flock gatherers had a Macedonian cry wired to them, tho Colonel' hustled, pleaded, quoted a string of appeals ranging from tho Bible to Bob Ingersoll, dodged this issue and forced that one, ran the gauntlet successfully and when the vote came he voted Pennsylvania's C9 delegates solidly for Lincoln, Neb. It was a rude sur prise to the uninitiated, but the knowing ones saw an explanation in tho fact that the wily Colonel was admirably seconded bv M. G. Frank, ex-Building Inspector of Pitts burg: D. O. Carle, manager or the big United States Glass Company, and C. K. Succop, Al derman, Police Magistrate and son of a sol dier who went through the terrors of both Llbby and Andersonville prisons. All of tbesc men are ambidexterous wire handlers and their combined effort solidified the State. "We could swing Pennsylvania," said the Colonel yesterday, "and had a little bit more time been given us I guess that we could have swung the encampment, but Lincoln was downed, Hnd now I wish to sound a note of defiance. Pennsylvania will send more veterans to Washington in 1KB than will any other State in the Union. We'll make them think that it's hailing veterans, and I serve this notioe becauso I want the rest ol the States to see what they can do with our challenge." A CBABBIHG EXPEDITION Indulged in by the President, "Who Also Attends a Concert and Ball. re PECIAL TELTSGBAK TO THE DISPATCH. Cape Mat, X. J Aug. 8. The President gave up to-day to pleasure. He and Mrs. Harrison, Mrs. Dlinmick, Miss Speak, of Ala bama, Mr. and Mrs. J. W. Buokman, of Ala bama, and the two babies enjoyed a crab bing expedition until 2 o'clock. Baby Mc Kce caught the first one, and Mrs. Harrison had the host luck. The President's catch amounted to 22. This morning James S. -Clarkson, Chairman of the Republican Na tional Executive Committee, arrived and registered at the Stockton Hotel. He then went to the President's cottage, and will be his guest while here. This evening President Harrison attended a mnsicale given at Congress Hall. The Presidental party present consisted of the President and Mrs. Harrison, Bussell Har rison and Mrs. Dimmick, Secretary Halford and Miss Speak. As the President entered. Hauler's Orchestra played "Hall tho Chief," and the audience stood until the Presidental party Mere seated. The President was in full dress. Mrs. Harrison was attired in a beautiful medium gieen silk, with darker green trimmings, with V-cut neck, both iront and back, and was very attractive. In the audience was the Spanish Minister, his wife and two secretaries. After the recep tion the President gave a reception and shook hands with about 500 persons. After the reception a grand ball took place. BIDGEYIEW PARK LECTURES. A Talk on Heredity Last Night Fittsburgers in the Cottages. fsPECIAI. TELEOHAM TO THE DISrATCH.l Bidgeview Paiik, Aug. 8. The Chautauqua Assembly to-day devoted its time mostly to class and open meetings, which were well attended, as was the interesting session of the Bound Table. This morning Dr. D. H. Muller, pastor of the First Methodist Episco pal Church, of Canton, O., de livered a very interesting lecture on "Heredity," in which he sought to prove that our forefathers are blamed for more than one thing the present generation has done either selfishly or wickedly. The speaker believed in heredity to a certain ex tent, but he believed also that a man need not necessarily be a Democrat or a Repub lican because his father was one. To morrow will be a big day, and next woek promises to eclipse the past in the way of attendance. Among the many prominent Plttsburgers who have cottages on the grounds are the following from the East End: Mr. J. David son, Finley Torrence, s. Shaffer, George Fin ley, G. Bradley, Prof. Proudflt, Mrs. D. Di bert and Mrs. W. J. Scott, while many others are occupying handsome rooms at the hotels. Mrs. C. A. Smiley, of North avenue, Allegheny, has been sick for some time, but is now reported as having entirely recov ered. PLEHTY OP APPLE JACK. The Dismantled Distilleries of Berk Coun ty Will Be Set Going. fSPECIAI. TELBQRA1C TO THE DISPATCH. Reading, Pa., Aug. 8. Farmers through out Eastern Pennsylvania are congratulat ing themselves on the fine prospects for ap-ple-jaok this year. The apple crop promises to be tremendous in the coming fall, and ac cordingly it is expected that there will be a large distillation of npplo-Jack, which is an exceedingly profitable product hereabouts In good apple years. Last year no apple jack at all was made (n the Schuylkill Val ley, and the delightful liquid is consequent ly quite scarce. It is now quoted at $2 50 per gallon, whereas the price usually ranges from $1 25 to $1 75. There are seven apple-jack distilleries in Berks county alone that have not been in uso for several seasons. The Indications are that these and many new ones will be put in operation by the close of next month. Distillers of apple-jack are required by law to pay an internal revenue tax of SO cents per gallon, and to make regular re ports of their production. A BRILLIANT GERMAN. Society Event at Lakewood in Which Pitts burgers Participated. rSrECIAL TELEGRAM TO THE niSPATCH.l 'Lakewood, X. Y., Aug. 8. One of the largest germans ever given on the lako took place to-night in tho Sterlingworth grand ballroom. People from Saratoga, Newport and those who witnessed the celebrated Ponce de Leon germans in Florida last winter were unanimous in saying it sur passed anything" they had ever seen. Seventy-four ladles and gentlemen -participated. The coatumes were in studied com binations of delicate tints all harmonizing with the deoorations whioh were most elaborate under the direction of Major Amos Stioknev. U. S. N. The german was led by Will T. 'Irwin, of Cincinnati, and Andrew McKlnney, of New York. The following Pittsbnrgers are registered at Sterlingworth Inn: 'Mrs. H. R. Brown, Mrs. Lloyd L. Little and daughter; T. S. Clark, H. B. Brown. W. H. Brown, W. L. McCord, W. H. Watt and Mrs. W. W. Speer. , UNREST. WBITTEir FOlt THE DISPATCH, Come into the orchard, lore, I'm waiting by the apple tree; Carols the mocking bird to me. Brightly shine the stars above. The still meadows are at peace. Beneath the moon the cornfields seem Like malj-clad giants in a dream. Tossing, bending, 1U at ease. Come Into the orchard, sweet. The roses arc divinely fair. They load with perfume all the air Come, I listen for your feet. I can hear the billows roar Beyond the dimly outlined wood. That for a century has stood The stern sentinel of the shore. Come into the orchard, love, Myeyesare on yourfavorltestar,' ' . While to my ears Is borne tho far Cooing of some matelessdove. ' ' . -j ' , My wjld heart is beating faV While aU around hie is at rest; The moon is sinking in the west, The swift hours will soon be past. Come Into the orchard, sweet, I'm waiting by the apple tree. But my foil J hopes are falling mo Come, I listen for yonr feet. St. Geobge Best, SUNDAY, AUGUST 9, MURRAY'S MUSINGS. Sunday Scenes at Ft. George A Story About Tom Ochiltree A Western Man on New York Customs An Umbrella Enterprise The Street Beggars. FROM A STATT CORRESPONDENT. New York, Aug. 8. Ft. George lies high and dry above Harlem, upon the most ro mantic and commanding spot that could be found in the vicinity of New York. The his toric ground shows but faint outlines of the insignificant earthworks that weie 100 years ago considered one of the important de fences of the city of New York. Irregular mounds of time-beaten earth crown a high bluff, from which the visitor can overlook tho grand Hudson and the Palisades on the one side and the Hailcm river, numberless beautiful suburban villas and, beyond, tho sound and distant Long Island on the other. The whole magnificent panorama is unrolled in one single comprehensive sweep of tho eye. On pleasant Sundays tho old ruins and neighDoriug slopes swarm with men, women and children, tho women and children being in tho majority, The place is accessible from the last elevated station and the terminus of tho cable road. The entire dis tance thenco is lined with beer gardens, photographers' tents, hot sausage sheds, ico cream stands, fruit and peanut booths, lung testers, weighing machines, popcorn fact ories chowder and roasting ears and circus lemonade, and the rasping voices of the motley crowd of venders and fakirs of every description help out a scene about as far le moved from nature's treat as could well be. On the hill near the old ruin It reminds one of a mining camp on such days or of a newly-discovered oil field In Pennsylvania. The ground is covered with tents and awn ings. Under the anoient apple trees are temporary booths and beer tables. When night advances these are silently folded and borne away till tho next holiday. Some of the Coney Island games are In progress. A shooting gallery is in foil blast. Throwing balls at an imitation negro head thrust thorugh a painted canvas invito? the base ball enthusiasts. Little children roll and tumble on the short grass undisturbed by printed signs and policemen. Picnic parties dot the rugged nooks in every direction. Young lovers stroll hand in hand apart from the crowd, or haif-iecline beneath a protect ing sunshade, seashore style, upon the sward. Along the crest of the old works that Bklrt tho whole men sit closely together like flies on the rim of a glass, muring lazily on the scene below. And that scene w ould honor the canva6S of the greatest landscape fainter that ever existed. The Harlem river tself here is one of tho loveliest pictures imaginable. Covered with rowboats and tiny steam launches and excursion barges that glint about in the sunshine a thousand feet below, spanned by two magnificent bridges, skiited ut the marge by forest foliage and snecding railwav trains, tho onnosito bank rolling gently back with suburban villas and villages on the sound, through the trees to the riglit the spires and murmurs of the greatcity. He Had His Revenge. TnE other day an intoxicated hansom cab driver gave an entertainment to tho Coleman House gang and incidentally to some hundreds of other people that was in its way unrivaled. Broadway at that point is reduced by cablo railway excavation to half width, and this space has two horso car tracks. Cabby had landod a fare at the Coleman and naturally wanted to pick him np again. As tho horse cars run on about 15 seconds' headway and take all the space to the curb, he hadn't waited long beiore an entire block of cars came to a standstill. No body but tho first carload knew what was the matter. In the meantime half a dozen trucks and delivery wagons were coming up alongside the cars fiom tho other direction. The swearing of drivers mingled with the guying oi rue iast accumulating crowa. Cabby couldn't get out if he had wanted to, and ho didn't want to. His fare, seeing his predicament, declined to enter the cab. Then cabby, under the Influence of a coming policeman, pulled around in front of tho up coming cars and blooked that line for two minutes; tho string extending down to tho St. James Hotel. Seeing his opportunity to get in again to the curb, he suddenly swung round toward the crowd, his horses sending a splattering shower of black mud over 20 pairs of trousers. A yell of dismay and satirical laughter greeted this episode, in the midst of which tho crowd broke in both directions. Then, under a corresponding shower of curses from both cars and sidewalk, cabby drove sullenly away without his man, but amply avenged for his loss. Habits of the Stage People. "Tue show business is the most trying and unsatisfactory," said a woll-known theatri cal manager, mopping his brows on a Broad way corner. "I think we have to deal with the meanest classes of people on top of the earth. Actors and actresses as a rule are wholly'irresponsible, morally and pecuniar ily. There are notable exceptions, of course. The vast majority think no more of violat ing their word or breaking a contract than they would do of eating dinner. You can't tell anything about what one of these people can do from what he tells you, and he will Btrike for $30 to $75 a week when he expects to get $23. If the whole crowd got what they rate themselves at, it wouia taKe tne gross recoipts of every theater in the country an entire season to pay them. "And then, when you have secured your people, the trouble has just begun. There are the railroads, hotels, advertising agents, etc., to treat with. Everybody you have dealings with, froni the beginning to the close of the season, considers the manager legitimate prey. You meet extortion and downright robbery on every hand and in every form. No wonder this business makes men as hard as flint. If I knew anything else I'd quit it for good and all." Jolly Tom Ochiltree Routed. "Whew the World's Fair bill was before Congress," said Doorscepor Tom Coakley,"a funny thing occurred. Tom Ocbiltreo was on the floor, a privileged ex-member of the nouse, urging members to vote against New York on the ground that Tammany Hall would control the fair. " 'What have yon got against Tammany Hall?' said I. 'If it hadn't been for your Tammany friends in New York you'd have starved to death!' " 'I'll fix him,' said the late General Spin ola, and he sat down at his desk and drew up a resolution something like this: " 'Whereas, A distinguished, red-headed, free-lunch fiend, once a member of this body, is on the floor importuning members on a question before the House-, bo it re solved, etc.' "Spinolagot on his feet to offer the les olution, but Speaker Beed beckoned him to tho cnair anu. asjieu. mm wnai it was. l thought Beed would split when he read it. " 'Don't do it General; don't do it. I have a better way.' "This was to call an officer of the House to notify Ochiltree privately that ne was vio lating tno rules of the House and must cease. This omctai ratner strained bis in structions and toldOchiltreo that he was go ing to be arrested and brought before the bar of the Houee. But Tom made a red streak for open air and John Cbamberlln's 'before you could say scat!" Oblivious to the World. Aw interesting pair of cash girls goes up Sixth avenue every evening from one of tho big retail stores. Theic are hundreds of such girls, but this particular pair challenges observation. One is a stunted, little, blonde slip of a girl of perhaps 11 or 12, tho other a brunette slip of a girl a trifle older and half ' a head taUcr. Both a'ro thjn and round shouldered and bright-eyed. ''The taller girl invariably carries a novel in her hand on clear days, from which she reads aloud to her companion as they walk. They go along at a swinging gait, keeping pace with tho 6 o'clock throng, plunging over crossings without apparently noticing anything or anybody, though tbelittle listener looks out for both. The latter's ear is inclined toward the reader- so she can catch every syllable above the roar of the street. Through the scorching glare of tho after noon sun through the dust and slop under tho clattering elevated trains these little girls go homeward, seeing nothing, hearing nothing, caring for nothing but the words of the autuor. They seem to havo a different book every day. I tried once tpget a glimpse of the title, but they walked too last for mo. This muoh I ascertained; there was some thing about a duchess and au earl in tho dialogue. Happy, little girls! Impudence of Street Beggars. BKOOAns on Upper Broadway and cross streets are thicker and more impudent than at any time since the pretentious enforce ment of the law against street begging. They work chiefly between Twenty-eighth and Forty-second. I venture to say that no other city In the Union will show a worse lot of toughs, male and female, who work tho streets professionally than can be seen al most any day in the neighborhood of tho lunotion of Broadway and Thirty-third street. I called the attention or a friend to the fact. He said he had seen some but didn't think it was so very bad. Then l pro posed we remain on the walk right there for n, few minutes and the result was our being solicited seven times within 20 minutes. Four of the bogjars were old women, three 189L wero able bodied men all were bold and upon being sharply questioned were impu dent. They not only intrude upon all well dressed people who are standing in conver sation outside, but they entor the cigar stores and saloons along the route. On the side streets just off of Broadwny, big brawny men will sometimes chase you half a block, walking threateningly close by your side and refusing to take no for an an swer. They probably often frighten timid men and iomcn into giving up, or succeed through the desire of many people to escape the dHftgiecable importunities. The city mnkesiibcralallowances for tho unfortunate, and thoroughly organized benevolent socie ties provide for the deserving poor in a manner and with a liberality nnequaled. These pests ale simply imposters of the worst description and ought to come under the rigor of toe law. Customs of Two Cities. "I kotIce a great difference in dress and customs in New York from what w o nave out West," said an Indiana man at the Hoff man. "Now, thero are theso red shoes. If a man appeared on tho streets of my town with red shoe?, a flannel shirt and a sash he would be mobbed. And yet those who wear them here look nice and fresh and comfort able. Yes, we claim to exercise a good deal of personal freedom oat our way and run quite a city, but they wouldn't stand such a combination as that. 1 never saw a ash or red shoes in my town. The first thing I no ticed at the table here was a man taking a lump of sugar between his fingers. I thought he was very impolite at first, hut I soon saw that nobodv usos sugar tongs as we do. Then, there that individual butter knife everywhere. We've outgiown the custom of eating with a knife and everybody dip ping into the same dish with it, but we think one butter knife is good enough. And et it seems like a very sensible thing that a man hhouldn't have to spread the reit of his food on his bread along with his butter, when you como to think of it. 1 notice some ot these people don't 'spread' at all, but break their bread with their fingers into pinches. We havent been educated up to that yet, but Htick to the old 'slice of bread andbutter. I don't think wo will ever get up to the idea that a man must go out behind the barn to pick his teeth. That's playing it a little too fine." Morals and Umbrellas. "Viz. just give that grand umbrella loan association of which we hear so much one month," said a large dealer on Broadway. "Three-fourths of tho umbrellas they check out will never be checked In again. They say they intend to have stands in every city the more stands the quicker they'll get rid of their 25,000 silk umbrellas. See? It is not because three-fourthsof the people who need umbrellas are dishonest. But no code of or dinary morals applies to umbrellas. People may be square as a die in everything else and fall short on umbrellas and book's. No, I wouldn't go to the expense of putting your name on it anywhere," he interjected, as he tore off the tag of a six dollar silk. "It's wasted money. I've tried it several times it costs me nothing- you know but I never yet got an umbrella back after it actually left mypossession." A Cleverly Advertised Book. Literary circles are agog concerning rumors which have leaked out about a book now In press, entitled "Bevelatlons of May 3, 18G8." It's authorship is surrounded in mvstery. Kobert G. Ingersoll is named by some as the writer, but that is doubtful, by reason of the fact that its publication will first be made In London in about two weeks. It will not be reprinted in Americu until several weeks later. Whispers even con nect the name of Charcot, the eminent French physician, with the volume. Those who have seen some of the advance proofs of,ituy that while Comstock may fret and fume over it, yet it contains nothing that is not the emanation of au entirely pure mind. It is claimed for it that it really announces a new era. It will be made public by the American Literary Ass ciation, whose manager, in observance of a solemn pledge, refuses to disclose the name of the anthor. That sort of a secret, however, is not one that can be held forever inviolate. Charles Theodore Murray. BLAINE'S CHOICE UNANIMOUS. What an Ohio Republican Says About His State's Campaign. New York Telegram.3 There is no manner of doubt," said Horace L. Prescott, one of the leaders of theKepub lioan party in Springfield, Ohio, at the Fifth Avenue Hotel, "that Blaine will bo the unanimous choice of the Bepublicans for President. I have received letters from aU over the country saying that Blaine would bo the only name mentioned in the conven tion. Notwithstanding the many reports sent out regarding Blaine's health, the people are fully persuaded that he will be able to run, and that he will win if he does run. The entire Pacific slope is a unit for Blaino and the delegation will come from there solid for him. Hf3 reciprocity scheme has won over many men to him from the Democracy, and I know a great many who w onld vote for him. You see the people are l. .!.. 4n4 r.r W.TTItilAi- nt 1tl kill 1 iJCUIJiJ wiou ui uutiucj auu mo (Jill, auu Blaine has been the only prominent Kepub licau who has had the courage to come out against it. T o you know I believe that if Blaine shoind speak against McKinley in my State it would help him a great deal. McKinley is sure to be defeated. Campbell has made a good executive, and many .Republican votes will be cast for him." THE' TIE OF FRIENDSHIP Between Col. Beed and Major Nugent Cemented by a War Incident. Detroit Free Tress. 1 "Colonel Beed, this is Major Nugent," was an introduction offered in the Bussell House yesterday afternoon. "What's the name?" asked the Colonel. "Nugent." ' "N-u-g-c-n-tt" spelled the Colonel. 'Were you from Pennsylvania?" "I enlisted from Saginaw." "It's not a common name, and I knew a Nugent once who was a noble fellow, and a dashing fellow. He was killed while, mak ing n gallant charge and no more promising young lieutenant ever drew a sword." "Ho was three years younger than L," said tho Major in a voice that quavered, "and I enlisted at 17." "How do you know he was?" "It was my brother Charley, who enlisted at Hnrrisburg." "God bless you, comrade! That's who he was. Charley Nugent. Not many men wero ever blessed with a brother like that. Shake again!" and tho eyes of more than one looker-on dimmed n ith tears as the two big veterans clasped hands at the prompting of sacred memory. HAD THEIBWAY. How the Savages of Formosa Beat the En glishmen at Shooting. Youth's Companion. Concerning the manners and customs of the savages of Mount Sylvia, Formosa, Mr. L Colborne Baker related the following incident before the Koyali Geographical So ciety: A party of English officers from a man-of-war landed on the Island, and meeting a company of natives armed ith match locks, challenged them to a trial of skill in shooting. Affixing a mark to a tree about 100 yards distant, the offloers made what they con sidered pretty fair practice, without, how ever, astonishing the natives, who, when it came their turn to fire, disappeared in the Jungle like one man, and crawled on their "belfleB through;the undergrowth to a point about three yards from the target, which, of coarse, they all hit exactly in the center. When the Englishmen protested that such a method of conducting the competition was hardly fair, the natives replied: "Wo do not understand what you mean by 'fair, but, anyhow, that is the way we shoot Chinamen." rOBGETTOX OF THE BTNG. How Young Bridegrooms Sometimes 9Iar' tho Splendor of the Marriage. Jewelers' Weekly. Forgetful bridegrooms have been reduced to great straits. In one instanco a leather ring had, on the spur of the moment, to be cut from a piece of kid of tho bride's glove. A tragic story of a forgotten wedding ring is told in the "Lives of the Lindsays." When ho should havo been at church Colin Lindsay, tho young Earl of Balcarros, was quietly eating his breakfast in night gown and (dippers. When reminded that ilauritia of Nassau was waiting for him at the altar he hurried to church, but forgot tho ring. A friend present gave him one, which he, without looking, placed upon the bride's finger. After the ceremony was over the Countess glanced at her hand and beheld.a grinning eath's bead on hur ring. She tainted away and the omen made such an impression ou her that on recovering she declared that she was destined to die within a year, a presenti ment that probably brought ubout its own fulfillment, for in a few months the careless Colin was a widower. NAMES 07 LONDON STREETS. How and "When Some of the Qocer Ones Originated. Spare Moments.1 The following particulars relating to tho origin of the names of some London streets, etc., may be of Interest to many renders: Birchin lane was originally called Birch-ovor's-lane, after the name or the builder. Blshopsgate is supposed to have been built by some bishop about tho year 1200. Charing Cross was so called from a cros set np by Edward I., in mrmory of his Queen. Charing was then a village. Chpapslae derives its name from there having been a market there, which in Saxon is "a chepe." Covent (l e. Convent) Garden was former ly a gnrdpu belonging to tho abbot and con vent of Westminster. It was granted in 13S2 to John, Earl of Bedford. Gracecburch street formerly called Grass Church street was so called from grass or herbs being sold there. Gray's Inn was a house belonging to the Grays, of Wilton, who resided there from 1315 till tho reign of Edward III., when they devised it for use of students of the law. St.- James' Palace was anciently a hospital forlepeis. Lendenha'l street takes its name from Leaden Hall, which was purchased by the city for a common market, and made free in 1619. Lincoln's Inn was so called from being the inn, or town bouse, ol Henrv Lacy, Earl of Lincoln, who died there in 1310. Lombard street took its name from tho Lombards, aid other foieign merchants, who assembled there twice every day be fore the building of the Koynl Exchange. St. Martln's-le-Grand was so call from a large college of secular priests founded in in 10.ifi and suppressed in 1513. Mark lnne w as originally Mart lane, being a public mart. Paternoster row was so called from the stationerw, or text writers, who dwelt there and who wrote and-sold all sorts of books then in use. Piccadilly was so called from the Piccadll los, i. e., the stiff collars, or bands, formerly worn, by which a tailor got an estate and built the first houses there. Shoreditch derives its name, not, as has been supposed, by Jane Shore's dying there, but from Sir John Shore, or Shoreditch, its lord of the manner in tho reign of Edward Smithfield was used as a market in Fitz Stephen's time, more than 700 years ago. DSEW LIKE A MAGNET. Bobby Gaylor Successfully Opens the Season at the BUoa Theater. Bobby Gaylor, in "Sport McAllister," in angurated tho season at the Bijou last night. Every seat down stairs was occupied and thero was standing room only in tho balcony and in the gallery, where men were literally piled in on top of each other. Tho best evidence of the success of the show was that this immense crowd sat through it from 8 o'clock until U:S0 while the mercury courted tho nineties. The play Itself is a mine of mirth, representing the intrigues of two Irish politicians, both of whom are candidates for Sheriff. It gives full play to all Bobby Gaylor's specialty work. As for the great Irish comedian, his very ap pearance was an "open sesame" to publio favor. The "gay old sport" could not do anything without receiving an encore. From the "Irish Arab" to a ward politician was a great jump, but Gaylor has accom plished it by simply changing "politician" to "McAllister." In the last act. where an amateur the atrical is given, tho public is given an in- signt into siuge management, me actors appear on a perfectly bare stage, and the scenery is pet beforp the entire audience. First a man run out with a cottage, while another bears a mountain, and still others move mountains into position and start silvered rivers a-rnnning at its base. The musical and dance features are all good and new. Miss Georgia Parser kicked her self into favor without the slightest effort. All the girls saug with a vim and a vigor that was catching. Among those who won especial applause were Miss Beatrice Nor man, Nellie Franklin, Lillie Carroll and Myrtle Tressider. The Duquesne Theater will open a pre liminary fall season on August 21 with Cleveland's Minstrels. HE "WAS IN A HUBBY. An Old Story of How Two Greenles Fired On a Cannon. Chicago ncrald.l During the war two recently arrived Irish men, who had made np their midds to enlist In the service of the Republic, but were hes itating between the army and the navy.went on one of the gunboats at the Brooklyn Navy Yard In pursuit of information. The man-of-war had Jnst been placed In commis sion and was ready for immediate service, but was delayed by lack of men to man the ship. When the errand of the two greenhorns was mode known to the officer on deck, he left them alone in order to fetch some one whose persuasive powers wonld be sufficient to attach the Irishmen to the crew. While he was gone they noticed one of the huge cannon, and one observed to the other, "Is that big gun loaded over there, I dnnno." "Me, nayther, Michael," answered his friend, "but if it wasn't for losin' the bullet. I'd foir it off and see." "I'll savo the bullet for yez," said Mike.as he saw a big iron kettle nearby. So he put the pot over the muzzle of the gun, got astride of the barrel, took a firm grasp of the ball with both hands and gave the sig nal. His fellow countryman knocked the contents of his pipe into the vent, heard a terrific roar, and didn't recover conscious ness after being stunned by the force of the recoil until the officer, surrounded by a booy of sailors, shook him awake. "That won't do, young man," said he an grily. "What has become of the fellow who was with you?" "I dunno, sorr," responded Mike's friend, rubbing his head, "but if he comes back as quick as he wint, ho won't be lolg gone." KINDNESS MADE THEM QUAEBEL. A Philosopher Proves That Prosperity Leads to Heaps of Trouble. Chicago Times. "Prosperity is always a blessing," said the dreamer. "It breeds quarrels," said the philosopher. "How do you make that out?" "Watch." The philosopher caught half n dozen boys about a fruit stand. One of their number, possessed of money, had purchased a pear. Tho others wished for it in vain. The phil osopher laid down SO cents and told the dealer to give the urchins fruit np to that limit. At first there was a little cheer of ap proval. Ono boy took nil his share in plnms. Another wanted au assortment, bnt there wero no damsons. Another selected a fine peach, but a third also wanted that. He gave it up and tried to take two apples. Another boy wanted ono of the apples. A fourth gamin snatched both apple and pear and started to run. Two others followed, caught and pummcled him. While they were so engaged their own goods were con fiscated for general use. The doaler had to run them away with a cluD to keep them from ovei turning his stand. A dozen fresh urchins, attracted by that sharp sense which tells of spoil, flocked in, grew angry becauso they had "been robbed," ns thoy had re ceived nothing. And in five minutes the block was full of struggling, fighting, bawl ing boys. "All brought about by prosperity," said the philosopher: A GEBMAN WIT. Some of the lirightest Sayings or the Re nowned Saphlr. New York Ledger. Avery poor actor having played the part of the ghost in "Hamlet" for years, Saphir, the German wit, on seeing him, said: "It would bo a good thine ir this man gavo up tho ghost, so that somebody else could take his part." A young poot once sent the humorist an "Ode to Imuiortullty," requesting his opin ion of it. Saphir returned the manuscript with tho message: "This packngo will never reach its address." "Three persons," remarked the wit "sleep soundly a child, a corpse and a night watchman." During his sojourn in X., Saphir was fre quently in the society of n well-known tho a trical manager, whose dullness was notori ous. "How strango It is that my legs go to sleep every dayl" he remarkednpon one occasion "How can you wonder?" returned Saphir. "They are always in your company." An Appeal for Bread. Atlanta Constitution. "Give us 'credit!" cry 20 Georgia editors. Oh, grocerymen in SO towns, answer that cry with your earliest delivery wagons! CURIOUS CONDENSATIONS. Berlin, with 1,315-600 people, has only 28,600 dwellings. A locomotive is rnnning on the Chicago and Alton road which consumes Its own smoke. When the Japanese hitch a horse in the street they accomplish it by tying his forelegs together. Columbia, Ha, is said to be the only city in the United States whose census fig ures aro even thousands. The city has 4,0j0 people. An orange-tree only four inches high at Ynba City has borne this season a periectly formed orange about the size of an ordinary currant. A rattlesnake was recently killed in Orange county, Cal., that measured 20 feet in length and six feet in circumference. It had 27 rattles. "What's in a Name? A five-pound bass is the largest fish ever taken from Lake Chargoggagoggmauchoggogungamaug, near Wlnsted, Conn. An odd invention, manufactured at the suggestion of a New York lady, is an enam eled orange which opens and discloses a watch In one half and a purse in the other. Mr. IT. E. Wells, of Imlay City. Mich., who enlisted In a Michigan regiment and was captured dnring the war, has not shaved since he left Andersonville prison. His beared is now tiro feet nine inches in length. George Kohrbach, a Beading youngster of 7 years, weighs 130 pounds, and is 40 inches around the chest an Inch more than his father. George at birth weighed IS pounds, and a year and a half later tipped the scales at CO pouuds. A resident of Ansonia, Conn., declares that it always rains there on the 25th of July. He says that his family has kept a record of tho weather for 100 years, and in all that time there hasn't been a July 23 on which it didn't rain. A barefoot girl of Big Stone, Tenn., while gathering ginseng one day recently, suddenly found herself in a rattlesnake's den. When the battle was over she counted (3 dead reptiles about her, having escaped herself without a scratch. Huntingdon, Conn., had a "patriotic festival" in honor of the withdrawal of the' criminal suit against two boys for ringing the church bell on July 4. There were over 3.CO0 people present. A band was engaged, various speeches made and a banquet given. John Geiss, a Michigan blacksmith, got his foot tangled in a rope attached to a balloon at Wenonah Beach on Saginaw Bay. He called to the folks to hold him when the balloon went np, but they could not. How ever, he got his feet untangled before be had gone more than three or four rods, and, fall ing in soft sand, he escaped injury. Vegetation in the Alps recedes down ward from year to year. Formerly Alpine roses grew at an altitude of 7,600 feet. Now they are seldom found higher than 6,500 feet' and are at that height stnntcd. Beeches have gone down to 1,200 feet. Various ber ries, which once flourished 7.S0O feet abovo sea level, do not grow in higher altitudes now than 5,800 feet. It is reported from Panama that a mon ster shark was captured in the harbor there recently. It measured nearly 24 feet in length and was four feet in diameter at its greatest width. The skin was about a half inch thick. It was captured by a harpoon thrown by a fireman on the steamer Bolivar, while in the vicinity of Toboga Island, and the steamer was completely turned round bv the powerful fish when it was first made. fast. A man named White, while fishing near a public bath house in the Ohio at Cincin nati, felt a tag at his net that almost Jerked It from his hands. He exerted all his strength, and brought his catch tothesur-' face. It was a boy, who lay exhausted and senseless on the fisherman's ropes. The boy was soon brought ashore, and, after hard work, resuscitated. It was then ascertained that he had been sucked under at the bath house. West Tremont., Me., has a 5-year-old heroine. Her name is Nettie Lunt, and during her mother's absence a gust of wind blew some clothes from a rack on the stove, and they caught fire. Nettie promptly sent her sister Bebe, aged 3, after her mother. Nettie then shut all the doors and windows to prevent draft, and went calmly to work to subdue the flames, which she held at bav until help arrived. The Bar Harbor Becord says her dress caught fire, but she bad the presence of mind to put this out and still keep at work, and no doubt saved the home from ashes. A St. Bernard dog became involved in a quarrel with two curs at Eighth and Ship ley streets, Wilmington, DeL, the other day. The curs snapped and growled at the canine bully, which turned and made the little fel lows "Ki-yi." Another dog, which; was watching the row, saw that the curs were getting tne worst or the fight, and Imme diately started for help. At Whiteman's livery stable he fonnd three collies and an other large dog to whom the situation was Suickly explained by barks. The four stable ogs maae a dash for the corner. When the 'St. Bernard saw the reinforcements coming he lound that he had important business in the direction of Market street. The curs thanked the collies for their timely aid by wagging their tails, and the collies went back to the stable. For Rome reason or other the average colored jockey Is so brimful of superstition that he can hardly get down to weight. Jack Crittenden, the well-known Pennsyl vania colored jockey, now living at Glouces ter, wonld rather lose every race for a year than see a snake or bullfrog. The stable boys discovered this the other day and one of them placed a dead snake in Jack's bunk. The poor littlo fellow, when he touched tho clammy reptile, grew ashy in his pallor.fiew out of his stable into the night, and no In ducement strong enough has been found for his return. He firmly believes that the dead snake was an evil omen, and that he is hoodooed. Yesterday somebody si vly placed a dead frog In Jack's pocket. The jockey firmly believes that the frog jumped into his pocket and died. To prevent a recur rence of this kind ho cut every one of his pockets out yesterday afternoon and sewed up the openings. THE BAZAR'S SUNSHINE, "What hymn did I understand you to say?" Inquired the Sand-iy School teacher of the young lady who presided at the melodeon, and who had Jnst asketl.hhn to close the service, the Superintendent being absent. Slnrhaif of Ha," she answered, smUlngat his nervousness and confusion. "We wlU now close by singing," he said, ad dressing the school "by singing hymn 13." Jasper Why in the world do they have bands playing to constantly at these seaside re sorts? , Jumppuppe So that visitors cannot hear the mosquitoes. "There doesn't appear to be much of the milk of hnman kindness these days," slglied Buffer. "Oh. I guess there's a good deal left," retorted Waggles, "only It's condensed." "That plumber I employed is a fooL" "Why?" I told him I wanted running water In my bed room, and he put it there, but with nothing to shut it off. Said that wasn't spcclfled." "How do yon like that young Yale man you employ as a messenger, Mr. Barklns?" "He Is a very Kd fellow," returned the banker. "He lets me do pretty much as I please." "Do you believe that charity begins at h6me?" "Not always. I have known cases where It didn't begin at all." Some cry, "I eat I eat to live;" Some say, "I eat for life Is fleeting." For me, I eat because I'm fond Nay more extremely fond of eating. 'iPapa," said Willie, aa the bass drum went by, "that man ain't as strong as he looks, is he?" "I don't know. Why?" "He doesn't seem to be able to break the box open." An immigrant ship was coming up the harbor Just as the,suuset gun was fired. "Look at that, now!" exclaimed a happy Hiber nian. "Mol cousin Molke told me that they'd make an Aldemsnu or me, bnt ol didn't think that they'd be so proud to see me they'd folro a sa lute." "I won'tlendyon any $5," said Bj'oncs. "You never paid the 30 'cents you borrowed month ago." "If you let me have the Y," repUed Macer, "I wlU pay you now." "What did that lady have the screen across one end of the room Tor, ma?" asked little Johnny, who bad beerf making a cU with bis mother. "I suppose she had something there she didn't want seen," replied his mother. "And was that the reason, ma, that when you thought she' wasn't looking you peeped behind 111" .' -Jji.?'-
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers