P 4 m. B$p4 ESTABLISHED FEBRUARY 8. "" 1S46. k Vol. 46, No. 99. Entered at rittsburg Tostofflce, J;No ember 14, 1SST, as second-class matter. rfBusiness Office Corner Smithfield and Diamond Streets. rNews Rooms and Publishing House 78 and 80 Diamond Street, in New Dispatch Building. . EASTERN ADVERTISING OFFICE. ROOM 2L ? TRIBUNE BUILDING. NEW YORK, where com- F. plete files of THE DISPATCH can always be found, t 'Foreign advertisers appreciate the conTenlencc. t ' none advertisers and friends of THE DISPATCH, wane in cw Tort, arc also made welcome. THE DISPATCH it rtffvlarly on Sale atBrmtano's, .8 Union Square, Jlie Fort, and V Ave de VOpera, I Paris, trance, where anyone toko hat been disap pointed at a hotel netcs stand can obtain it. TEB3IS OF THE DISPATCH. POSTAGE FREE IN THE UMTLD STATES. 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FOSTAGE All persons who mail the Sunday issue of The Dispatch to friends should bear in mind the fact that the post age thereon is Tno (2) Cents. AH double and triple number copies of The Dispatch require a 2-cent stnmp to insure prompt, dellvcrj. PITTSBURG, SUNDAY, MAY 17, 1S9L DANGER ON THE OTHEK SIDE. In a recent interview Senator and Con gressman Eobinson is quoted as saying that "the danger of numbering ballots far outweighs the possibility of fraud by elec tion boards." This is his argument for urging his Constitutional Convention project in preference to the Baker ballot reform bill in its honest shape before the Senate committee had mutilated it. The argument of the Congressman-Senator entirely ignores the fact that under the law in order to misuse the ballot-numbering clause of the Constitution election boards must commit fraud and perpetrate deliberate and systematic dishonesty. The law requires the numbered lists to be tealed up, the numbered ballots to be folded over, and neither to be disturbed except in case of judicial inquiry. Under these provisions for any election board to disclose the secret of the ballot would re quire a deliberate violation of law, and the violation would be estab lished by the very fact that the contents of any man's ballot was known. It is plain that any election board capable of doing this with the certainty of being found out would be capable of substituting ballots, in the absence of a ballot-number ing clause, which would make detection Impossible. There is no danger at all in the ballot numbering clause, properly maintained, while the possibilities of fraud without it are unbounded. The inconsiderate clamor of some of our Democratic friends has given the excuse for Jlr. Robinson's argu ment But when that hollow plea for a convention comes from a gentleman whose early prominence in the Legislature was earned by a speech in which he declared that he would not maintain the Constitu tional provisions for the control of the cor porations, the real aim of the Constitu tioual Convention movement is easily per ceived. Ballot reform and several other very im portant things can be secured under the present Constitution, when it is enforced. Any changes proposed in that fundamental instrument should be submitted separately, so that each can be decided on its merits. THE 3IAND7UB BLUE BOOK. According to our cable dispatches this morning, the blue book on the Mauipur af fair confirms the American idea that En glish duplicity was at the bottom of the trouble. As this blue Iwok is an official publication of the British Goi ernment, it is in the nature of a confession, and must make interesting reading for all loyal sub jects of the Queen. But it will hardly ef fect the overthrow of the present Premier and his Caliinet,nor is it likely to cause the impeachment of those directly responsible for the short but bloody rebellion. The occurrence is only one of many similar ones in England's colonial management and will soon be forgotten. It would not be without a beneficial effect if it would make certain Tory papers chary about sneering at the Indian pol icy of the United States. This country has not much to be proud of in its treatment of the red man, but England in its Indian policy can find even less at which to point with pride. And when the reflection comes that the East Indian is of a race that has been civilized for centuries, the British treatment 01 mm appears even more blamable. STANDARDS TOR DRUNKENNESS. The degrees and qualities of drunken ness are furnishing subjects of some in tricacy for judicial, artistic and legislative consideration at present It has hereto fore been supposed that inebriation, like some other forms of exaltation, was a matter of inspiration superior to definition ; but in two instances at least the attempt is made both to define and limit the mani festations of the Bacchanalian spirit The first case is that presented between two lights of the dramatic stage, which turns on the issue whether one whose business it was to represent a drunken nobleman did not endow his impersonation of inebriety with the proper gentlemanly characteristics. This imposes on the court the question of deciding not only whether a lapse into drunkenness can be considered gentlemanly, but of defining exactly what a "gentlemanly drunk" is. If the task's successfully performed lovers of liquor will have a standard by which they can conduct their sprees according to rules of etiquette; but the hope both as to the accurate definition of the standard and the strict adherence to it by devotees of . the cup that inebriates is rather attenu- ated. Another case cames irom the West, In ' which the sul iect of inebriety is judicial, L'&s well as the work of placing limitations j on' it, which must be done by the Leglsla ture. It Is presented by the proposed im peachment of a Kansas judge for habitual intoxication. The difficulty of deciding exactly the limits of proper Intoxication for a judge Is heightened In this case by the necessity of including a criterion for the potations of a judge in a prohibition fatate. The task of the Kansas Legislature in that line is even less enviable than the problem set before the New York court "When it is authoritatively settled what are the methods to be pursued in drunken ness of the gentlemanly sort and what are the limits of judicial intoxication, a large number of the population will gain new light on the proper way to pursue their principal avocation. But that element will deprecate the danger that an imprac ticable standard may be set up by cutting off that dog's tail behind the ears, and pro hibiting drunkenness altogether for both gentlemen and judges. VERY PERTINENT INQUIRIES. The recent bank failures In Philadelphia, and particularly the disclosures concern ing the Keystone National Bank, moves the Philadelphia Inquirer to some ex ceedingly plain talk concerning the en forcement of the national banking law. It points out that the disclosures with regard to the Keystone show that it must have been a mere shell during one or morej 01 the examinations required by law. it is impossible, except on the theory of in efficiency, to conceive that the examiner did not know of the condition of the bank. Consequently the Inquirer asks the perti nent question why the looted condition of the bank was not reported sooner; and it further wants to know : "Was there any official of the Government higher in authority than Bank Examiner Drew, who shielded the rottenness from the public and used his Influence to prevent the re ceivership?" There is no doubt that these questions are very cogent, although, of course, the significance of the last one is an unknown quantity. But several things are well known to everyone who has studied the legitimate operations of the national bank ing act In the first place, with the pro visions of the act obeyed by the manage ment of any bank, such a plunder of its resources would be impossible. Next, if the examinations were thorough and ac tive, as is contemplated by law, they should have checked any such scheme early in its stages. Finally, upon any other theory than monumental inefficiency in the enforcement of the law, or else col lusion on the part of some officials, its pro visions should have put the institution in the hands of a receiver as soon as a wrecked condition was disclosed. These things have a much more serious" effect than the mere loss of half a million or a million dollars in a single case. Pub lic confidence in the national banking sys tem is based on the belief that these salu tary provisions of the law are strictly enforced, and therefore make the wrecking of national banks, except by the most hasty schemes of plunder, practically impossible. When a case appears in which the enforcement has notably failed, it is a public duty to find out whether it was inefficiency or dishon esty on the part of the Goverment officials that permits such a failure of these enact ments. It is necessary to have the respon sibility located when laws that should pre vent such disasters are left unenforced and useless. The pointed inquiries of the Inquirer are extremely pertinent They should be pushed in the interest of the public gener ally. If there is not an active and efficient enforcement of the national banking law it will be worse than useless. ; THE PENSION BUREAU SCANDAL. When the appointment of Green B. Baumas Commissioner of Pensions was announced The Dispatch expressed the hope that his administration of that im portant office would be free from scandal It turns out that the hope was ill-founded, and the most flagrant case of. trading on official power since the Star Route business has been exposed by the enforced resigna tion of the Commissioner's son from the position of assistant chief clerk. There is no allegation yet that the Com missioner of Pensions had any knowledge of his son's actions in selling positions and promotions and in securing false imper sonations in the civil service examinations. But that does not relievo him of re sponsibility. An official under whose management such tilings go on unde tected is subject to the charge of carelessness in the performance of his official duties. When he appoints a subordinate who proves capable of such dishonesty he is convicted of the fact of bad judgment But when the dishonest subordinate is a member of his own family the responsibility is increased by an almost infinite factor. The presumption of ne potism, which would make such an action possible to an official with a nice sense of honor, is the least serious feature of the case. The father who uses his official power to place his son in a responsible office may be justly expected to know the integrity and capabilities of that son. Where both fail, as in this case, the respon sibility of the father is only less than if he had been a participant in the acts of dis honesty. The Pension Bureau has been an unfor tunate part of the present administration; and in no respect has it been more disas trous than in the results of placing a spoils politician like Raum in charge. AN EXAMPLE TO THE WORLD. Vienna is a city with the reputation of being given over to gayety and even dissi pation; yet the fact has been brought to. the attention of civilization that this fast and frivolous city has carried the work of charitable organization to a higher degree than any other metropolis in the land. The plan adopted there is stated by the Guardian, an English church paper, which has been studying the Vienna work, to be a. modification of Count Rumford's original idea. It is based on the theory that every man or woman able to work must do something according to capacity to receive relief, while orphan or waif infants, and the aged and infirm are cared for at the expense of the State. To this work" 53,500,000 are devoted annually, of which only 5500,000 are raised by poor rates, while the balance comes from charitable bequests, confiscated church lands and outside sources. In the care and classifi cation of the poor a complete system is provfded by which the able-bodied are given honest work, the Incapable are cared for, and only the incorrigible are sent to prison. But it is in the matter of providing the working classes with Inexpensive meals that the Vienna system shines out above all the rest of the world. An example of the treatment of the Infirm classes is shown by the statement that the aged pen sioners are given an .allowance of. twelve cents a day for expenses, while at the res taurant adjoining their homes "a plate of soup, a slice of beef, a piece of 'pudding J and a glass of beer or wine can be obtained for four cents." The same surnrisincr cheapness is displayed in the conduct ot j IjfcHE the folks' kitchens, In successful operation for twenty years, where ten thousand per sons dine daily. "A well-cooked dinner, consisting of soup, beef, vegetables, fish or salad, and bread, costs eight cents, the average supper four cents, and breakfast three cents. Two of the committee of la dies and gentlemen are always present in each kitchen while the dinners are being served. All classes, from university stu dents to shoeblacks, flock to these folks' kitchens, and all receive a friendly wel come." This indicates results far ahead-of anything attained by efforts In the .same line elsewhere. Of course The Dispatch has no sym pathy with the idea that the relations of labor and capital, or the economic ques tions concerning the distribution of wealth, are to be settled by giving the laboring j classes food at a cost of Mteen cents per diem. 'There is a much truer solution in an economic condition where labor is so prosperous that it can afford to waste its food supplies, as all classes have been do ing in America for many years. . But as a relief to poverty the work of cheapening the cost of prepared food, to which Mr. Edward Atkinson has been giving his atten tion in this country.and which the Viennese have carried to this remarkable degree, is an important one. It ought to be possible to furnish food nearly as cheaply in the United States as Vienna, the original cost of most of the materials being less. If the Vienna system could be adapted to our country the reduction of the cost of life ought to facilitate that true solution of the great economic question by making it easier for the laboring man to lay aside his wages and become a capitalist on a small, scale himself. Tennessee White Caps of the female sox flogged a -woman to death. The local Journal commented on the affair In a tone that offended the White Cap susceptibilities, and three of that species called upon the editor to remonstrate -with clubs and re volvers, whereupon thatwlde-awakejournal-1st shot the trio dead on the spot. Further hostilities are threatened; but we are glad tostate our confidence that the esteemed and vigorous conductor of the palladium of popular liberties will show his handiness in artillery practice, with the result of thinning out the White Cappopulation of his vicinity. "When the laws cannot restrain the "White Caps the press will have to do the work. The variation of our daily and weekly weather from hot to cold, and vice versa, is only exceeded by the contrast between the persistent wetness of last year and the pro longed dryness of the present. If the weath er could do things more in moderation it would be generally approved. Again that absurd idea that the swiftest trains are the safest is brought out by an Eastern cotemporary because a vestibule train dashed into another at the rate of fifty miles an hour and no passenger on the fast train was injured. This is all right for the vestibule train; but it does not demonstrate much safety for the people outside of it. Perhaps the underlying theory of this idea is that the people who do not pay the extra charges to ride In vestibule trains are so un important that it is not necessary to take their safety into consideration. The recent jibes at Mr. Bussell B. Har rison moves the Helena Journal to remark" that he is a man of brains, and tho jests at his expense are misfits. The Helena Journal, being Mr. Russell B. Harrison's especial or gan and property, this information can be accepted as official. ' These seems to be a slight difference between New York and Pennsylvania legis lation, after all. New York had a wholesale liquor bill designed to secure the free sale of liquor by the wholesalers, and it failed to pass. Pennsylvania has a wholesale liquor bill pending" to prevent the sale by wholesale dealers of retail amounts,- and it seems to bo shelved by the Senate. The difference is not exactly to the advantage of Pennsyl vania. The advice of political organs to the farmers "to climb down from the drygoods boxes at the corner stores and go to work" is susceptible of construction to the effect that the drygoods box locations are re garded as the exclusive perquisite of thercg ular politicians. The effort to preserve the Adirondack forests is definitely abandoned in New York State. So long as lumbermen were the parties desiring to gobble that domain the people there thought they could maintain their property. But it has lately comb out that the railroad corporations want to run through that region, and New York promptly recognizes that what the railroad kings will has got to be done. . Mn. Blaine's illness from overwork should ben warning to the Aikell partner ship. Itis true that Mr. Blaine's indisposi tion is due to mental application; but it is no less true that others who do not work that way may wear out their jaws. The report that the King of Greece has made $0,000,000 in speculation gives him an unpleasant prominence. It is one of Jay Gould's especial functions to' take the shine and tho money out of bumptious young speculators Tho make rich strikes. After Mr. Gould has completely polished off Sena. tor Cal Brlce tho royal speculator had better put up safety guards against Mr. Gould's blandishments. The order to fumigate the House of Commons after expelling some of its mem bers would have been more appropriate if the work of expulsion had been done more thoroughly. Now the New York Press says that the Democrats are hinting that tho Speaker of the next House will rule with the rules of Reed. "Revolutions don't go backward after all," remarks the .Prm. Perhaps not; but if the Republicans get a full taste of the late Speaker's methods they w ill go back on the rules of their own devising, with a long and soulfeltkick. The weather predictions hit it closer than usual yesterday. They were only about twelve hours behind time in their change of temperature. The remark is made that President Har rison's Burchard is likely to be found in his own kitchen cabinet. Thestatement is unjust. The characteristic of a Burchard is that he spoils by indiscretion tho otherwise roseate chances of a cabinet; and President Hani son at this stage of the proceeding has no chances to spoil. In the production of a comic method of aiding the Piesidental boom for a renomina tionMr. W.J. , Aikell can defy competition. "Edison's latest invention for seeing a prize flght without being present will Bave lots of trouble for tho polioe," remarks an exchange. Which exhibits the unaccounta ble delusion of thinking it is a police charac teristic to take lots of trouble to see prize fights. Where is this species of policeman to be found? If is still unsubstantiated that the Itata has gone to seek the location of the late Mr. McGinty. The news this morning that snow is falling in various parts of England is not oiearly so startling as it would have been had not the Queen promised to pay her eld est son's debts. Such generosity on tho part of that good old lady makes a May snow storm appear ordinary by comparison. , A Hearty Welcome. North Baltimore Times. Rumor has It that another newspaper Is in contempUulon-here. The field for starva tion Is amnle and not fully taken wo. PriXTSBtT& DISPATOB; MURRAY'S MUSINGS. Check the Tradesmen Get Women and the TVaiters A Story of Baby McKee Chaining Down the Keys Children Lost In the Street. FBOM A STAFF" COBBESPONDEST, New York, May 16. There is scarcely a tradesman in the city who has not been swindled by the bogus check manlnsoing form or another. The result of this and the daily recorded experiences of other -unfortunates is to put every dealer on his guard. Between theprobabillty of offending a customer and the possibility of getting swindled the unhappy tradesman has a ticklish time of it. Some of the dealers dis-. tinctively and sweepingly refuse "all checks in payment unless certified," and this is set prominently forth on their delivery cards with additional instructions to carrier to "not deliver the whole or any part of the goods" until such payment is made. Excep tions are made, of course, in cases where the customers are of well-known responsibility. It' is exceedingly offensive to a man to be informed that his check will not be accepted unless it is certified, Just because he hap pens to go to a new place to purchase, and the evU must by a crying one that requires such a drastic remedy. The small buyer is the one who has the most trouble, as a large order gives time enough aud makes it worth while for the dealer to ascertain the stand ing of his customer. When a single room is being fitted up carpet, shades, curtains, decorating, etc. the customer does not like to be asked for pay in advance of tho work, and while other goods are being" delivered day "by day that might be paldfor separately it is annoying to bo required to settle eveiy minute, when a check is refused the an noyance becomes a fancied injury. While some men do not object seriously to being treated as a possible thief, very few men will not resent being set down as a fool whioh any man would certainly be who gave a bogus check and risked jail lor work done on his premises. Perhaps tho tradesmen, however, who have been bitten every now and then, are not to be blamed severely for looking upon a check with suspicion under any and all circumstances. He Couldn't Smell Anything. Theke is a wag about the Fifth Avenue Hotel who wants to lick somebody. He has had the grip recently, and was complaining to friends that he could neither smell nor taste anything. A few days ago he noticed that these friends looked at him Somewhat curiously and, as he fancied, seemed to avoid him. One man actually sniffed at him and curtly suggested he send for an undertaker. From being hurt he finally became angry. When a dudish young man strolled into the barroom, therefore, and, having shaken hands with him and taken a seat, imme diately jumped up with something like hor ror depicted on his face, patience fairly broke her leg. Good Errfteirnift!1 p-rftlaimed the Tiawcomer. 'catchlng at his nose. , --.now, wnat's tne matter wnn me t .look here I'm getting mighty weary of this monkey business and I won't have it! See J No, I'm blanked if I'll have any more of it. What are you up to ? That's what I want to know. Anything the matter with me V" "I I beg pardon," stammered the of fender, somewhat dismayed at the unex pected explosion, "but, is it possible" "Is what possible? Out with it! or I'll" "D don't! My dear boy, don't! I was going to ask you if it were possible, don't you know, that you don't s smell anything, don't you know?" "Eh? GOod gracious! Really?" n "Smell anvthine? Smell what?" "What? T that's it. old man what is it? Something r r wottcn, don't you know. Like er old r r wotten cheese, and" A sudden trleam of intelligence rustled over the face of the innocent victim of his fellow creatures, and he put his hand in his pockets. Orie or them was withdrawn bear ing a small and crumbling section Of 14m burger that was strong enough to make a goat faint. "I can kick the man who did that all over the place," said he; but, while there were several intnrfi.qtfld nnd hlMilv fimnHnd indi viduals in the vicinity, no one acknowledged the cheese. Indiana Said to Be Loyal StllL Mb. Joh Holxa, of Indiana closely identified with tho late 'Thomas A. Hen dricks in politics, was in New York a few days ago and said: "There will be no seri ous opposition in his party to President Harrison's renomination, so far as Indiana is concerned. All of the earlier dissatisfac tion has blown over. He will go into the next convention with a more solid following from his own State than he had; before. Har rison is, in my Judgment, a mnch stronger man as a national candidate than he is cred ited with being. He is especially underrated here in -the East. A good deal of surprise has been expressed at his speeches on this swing around tho circle, but it don't sur prise anybody of intelligence in Indiana to hear that Ben Harrison has said the right thing in the right place in the best manner. Women Dont Tip the Walters. "Wombs are not, as a rule, very liberal toward waiters. They are much more ex acting than men and will seldom give a waiter a nickel for the most obsequious at tention. When women enter a restaurant unattended by gentlemen, as is a common, every-meal occurrence in .New York, there is an amount of bashfulness displayed by waiters that is quite amusing to those who understand the secret of it. While they dare not openly show their reluctance to wait upon unattended ladies, they aro never seen breaking their necks to fliid places for such women. The head waiter, whose duty it is to seat people, not unfrequently takes this into consideratiomvhen he has an unpopu lar man or two on his force. It is an easy thing for him to throw desirable or un desirable people (from the waiter's point of view) one way or another. If the head man is fair he will make as equitable a dlstribu tionof prizesas possible. One of the prizes is the young man with his sweetheart. The "lad v nnd irfint" flS-e alwavs nrettv fair nick ing for the waiters, but the young.man and his sweetheart form a prize worth at least 10 to 20 per cent of the price of the joint meal. Tho tipping- rule uptown runs about ten cents on a dollar. If a bottle of champagne is served the -n alter will look coldly on any thing less than a quartor. Should the dinner be an claborato one for two or more, the ex pected tip will be fiom 60 cents to a couple of dollars but it doesn't invariably come up to expectations. Tho dissatisfaction of a waiter issometimes expressed by hisabruptly going away leaving the scorned coin lyhjg on me luuie. xuu proper tuing in sucn a case is for the customer to restore it to his pocket, whioh might be supplemented by his going thence forward to another restau rant. Abhor tipping as you may it is a pretty nervy, thing to coolly ignore the joint blank, waiting, wistful, surprised, contempt ous, astonished, injured look of the man who has Just served you cold potatoes. A Bad Habit From Europe. Speaeisq of tips, it is noticeable that the very reprehensible foreign custom of tip ping all kinds of people for any service what ever is finding a strong foothold here. A few years, ago a -workman, a carpenter, bricklayer, paper hanger, clerk or any other person not a servant would have been in sulted at being offered a gratuity. Now you can safely tip anybody who does anything for you in New York. The mechanic cheer fully accepts the stigma of menial servi tude. Nor is it confined to meohanics or tiorkinc-men. I have been trvincr someex- I periments in this line in several directions, rln stores you will rarely make a mistake by aeiicatciy tendering a up w me uiuu, woman or cash girl who has just waited upon you. They do not always like to have this done openly,;biit I have offended in this particular several times ni me wrKBaii uuu most crowded places in town and have never had the gratuity declined. Skilled workmen earning from $3 to $4 per day will take 10 cents or a quarter and thank you. How long this has been going on and by what processes we have arrived at the Eu- mnejin Rtiinriftrrl of ireneral sorvilitv I rin not know. I have just made these dis coveries at some expense. If this thing is to becomo general here it is to be hoped that the Continental rates will be speedily adopted, though this would necessitate the return to tho coinage of the old half-cent. Ulacs for tho Working Girls. Behold the lilacs of the country, how they sell! On the Sixth avenue corners in the early evening, Just as tho shop girls come home, tho lilac venders enjoy thorichest harvest. Tho lilac Is tho flower of the mill ion, and at 5 cents a bunch it blooms on tho bosom of tho rosy-cheeked maidens from shop and counter, altogether lovely and( sweet to look upon. It is typical, in Jts way, ofjyonth and health and innocence.) I It breathes the spirit Of country lanes and'old fashloned gardenslnd humble f rontporches and neat village yards of clambering Juno roses and honeysuckles. In the streets of the. great city the big hampers of the flower peddlers, covered with damaged oilcloth, are brought out to be finally and rapidly emptied between 5 and 7 o'clock by tho ttroops of young women who have been con fined nil day at the office, the store nnd the factory in the. hot competition foe daily;, bread and butter. . At thp.t liniii-nnf thecveninff the flood- tide of vouns Uborinz womanhood flows, t7 ??"$ SOTDAY, MAir'.lT, homewardand beats up "against the Itinerant flower-seller, carrying ills stock of pinks and lilacs along with ft in every direction. It is an interesting and a charming sight, for it tells of tho Innato love Of the pure and beautiful in every feminine heart, and throws a gentle ray of spring sunshine into as many cheerful homes. Had Fun With Baby McKee. "When I laid the linen In the big East Room of the White House," said the man with a mouthful of carpet tacks, "I added to my former experience considerably. I was examined by thedoorkeepers, passed along to a brace of detectives, my 'kit' opened and Investigated, and I had to wait for Colonel Somebodv. Perhaps I looked as if I had come down to assassinate the President, but I had only been sent over by a New York carpet house to cover tne .tasc noom carpet witnnnenrorthe summer, anu.i.was anxious to do the Job and get back by a certain train. When I finally got to work I made things hustle, and by timing my progress I-saw I would be able to make the train after all. "Just about then, however, I heard the Bhuttllng of little feet behind me, and a sec ond later 'Baby' McKoo sprang on my back and began to kick his little heels into my ribs 'and cluck at me horseback fashion. I I don't know whether Grandpp. Harrison, taught him this or not; he mistook me for somebodv. for when he discovered a stranee animal under him he fell off and yelled for the nurse. We made friends right away, however, and he was on my back half the time tho rest or the J ob. I missed the train, but-"Baby' McKee and I had so much fun that I didn't think of that." Keeping tho Keys Chained. If you wish to do as many shrewd Gotham ites do you must wear two chains one that connects with the time o'day in your vest, the other with a bunch of keys In your right trousers pocket. Just why a man should find It necessary to have his keys chained down is stated by a gentleman who affects this widely prevailing style of security: "It takes a load on ofa man's mind, you know, Now you have a lot of keys; your latch key, your office key, your desk keys, your trunk keys, and halt a dozen other keys on a ring. Every now and then you will leave them at one place perhaps in your office, perhaps at nome,you may lose them in tho cars or street. When you do there's .the very mischief to pay. If you should lose them it entails not only an expense all 'round, but twenty times more time and vexation of spirit than the loss'of a collar button. The amount of brain tissue wasted on looking after the je keys to be sure you have them would, could it be condensed upon business,make a man's fort une in tne couise 01 a iiietime. v nen tney are attached to you by this.ohain you cease to eive them a thoncrht. Thev are alwavtf on hand. In case of a reporter the chain might be applied to a lead pencil as being the most necessary and elusive bit of personal prop erty. Recovery of the Lost Child. A Z.OST child on Sixth avenue during the shopping hours of the day will attract more sympbathetio people than almost anything that can bo seen in the streets of the Metrop olis and will cause more excitement than a dog-fight. If the little one is frightened half ontof its wits at becoming detached from the guardian apron string, the babel of sym pathizing voices and the clustering crowd of zealous rescuers, pretty effectually finish the case. Then the blue-coat breaks in and takes a hand. When the anxious mother, breaking away from the fascinations of the bargain counter, suddenly bounds into the arena and pounces upon her terror stricken offspring, there is a violent revulsion or leenng all 'round., Everbody but she is again measurably happy and the procession of- humanity moves on as before, but for some reason she is usually the maddest woman on the streets. , A Dutch Woman's Headgear. Considebablii attention was recently at tracted by a Dutch woman coming up Broad way from the Barge Office wearing a shining metal headgear under her bonnet. She had just arrived from her native land. It was considered worth a column description. Those who have been in Holland would notice nothing particularly remarkable. aDouttnis style of female ornamentation. One may see hundreds of robust-looking women in the streets of Amsterdam wear ing tnis metal helmet. On holidays and Sundays In the great zoological gardens and other public places these are on every hand conspicuous. Sometimes it is of silver, or nickel, ornate with filagree work, partially- concealed by' lace; sometimes the whole is surmounted by a cute little, close-fitting bqnnet, whion leaves the glittering metal displayed all around, especially at the nape ofthe neck. It is the distinguishing mark of the old fashioned, well-to-do Holland, woman, very few of whom come to this country. Charles Theodore Mcreat. A LIQUOR DEALER'S CAED. He States His Principles and Desires to All "Who May Be Concerned. Greenville, Ta., has a liquor dealer who places himself in his truolight by publishing the following "card" in the last issue of the Progress: To All Whom it May Concern: Know ye that by the payment of 30, 1 am per mitted to retail intoxicating liquors at mv hotel In this city. To the wife who has a' drunkard for a husband, or a friend who Is unfortunately dissi pated, I say emphatically, give me notice in person of such case or caes, la which yon are interested, and all such sliall be excluded from - my place. Let mothers, fathers, sisters ana brothers do likewise and their request will be re garded. I pay a heavy tax for the purpose of sell ing liquors, and I want it distinctly understood that I nave no desire to sell to drnnkards or minors, or to the poor or destitute. I much prefer that they Save their money, and put It where It will do the most good to their families. There arc gentlemen of honor, and men of money who can afford it, and it is with these that I desire to trade. WHISTLING C0BSETS. An American Idea That Tickles the Fickle Parisian Fancy. All Paris is laughing over the Joke about an American inventor who is said to "have patented a oorset that is to bring about the reign of morality at once. If one of these articles is pressed by a lover's arm it at once emits a shriek like the whistle of a railway engine; and the inventor claims that ho has already married three of his daughters, owing to the publicity'thus thrust upon a backward lover. But the wits of Paris, carrying out the joke to its utmost, profess to fear that soon the parlors will become unbearable, owing to the simultaneous and continued whistling ofall tho corsets. An Editorial Appeal. Glbsonbnrg Derrick. Tho Derrick's item box has been removed from the postofflee, and hereafter will be found at the foot pf tho stairway leading to our editorial room. . While you are dropping in sticks, chromos, scraps of paper, cigar stubs, rocks and other valuable articles drop In an item or a suit of clothes occasionally. A Crushing Bebuke. Springfield Republican. When nearing Anna, Ills., a conductor un consciously looked straight at a lady passen ger and called out, "An-na!" Her parasol descended on his head with a crash. "Take that for your impertinent -familiarity. I'll have you understand that I allow only one man to address me by niy first name and he dassn't holler it." DEATHS HEBE AND ELSEWHERE. Bev. James P. Balrd. Eev. James P. Balrd, of Eice'j Landing, one ofthe oldest ministers ofthe Cumberland Pres byterian Synod, died at the residence of Ills son-in-law at 4 o'clock' this morning, of paralysis. De ceased was 71 years of age,, and was born at Fayette, Ta. Obituary Notes, CllEVAtlEB GCSTAVE M. Finotte, a former well-known banker of Florence, Italy. .Boston and New York, and once an Italian Consul, is dead at the age of 78 years. He was a member of a titled Italian family. Chaeles W. Welsh, for many years the private secretary of the historian Bancroft, died of Bright's disease In New York on Thursdav night. He has held many importaut offices In the Government civil service. Habbiet Emmet, tho woman reported to have been 120 years old, died at Philadelphia Friday. Although the exact age cannot be ascertained, it is known she had long passed the century mark. 1 HenkvH. BUNNELL, of Bunnell; Scfanton, New Haven, died jesterday morniujr. He had been a member of the New York Stock Exchange since 1832. Wells W. Leogett, the patent lawcr, and at 'onetime President of the Brush Electric Light Company, died in Detroit Friday. H. BAiirsox, proprietor of the Biftree, a Sunday paper In London, devoted to sport and drama, died .yesterday from influenza. " Edwis LosO, the London artist, is dead. His 'death was the result of pneumonia, following an .attack of Influenza. ' CHARLES G. Ellis, President of tho Schehec 'tady Locomotive Works, died Friday morning at the age or -43 j ears. J Mb. Jean Bbatiako, the distinguished Kou nuoian ata'uman. is dead. 1891 TAIK OF THE TOWN. ' Anion Seldl Does Not Like Oat Pavements Duquesne Way to Be Improved: Cour tesy on the Cars A Nurse-Girl Millionaire Novel Message Cigarette gauce The Topical Talker's Gossip, ArTEBthe performance the other evening at the Festival, Anton Scidl pitched into Pittsburg's street .pavements- in fine style, np said they were a disgrace to a city of Pittsburg's standing, and refused to take back a word when Director Johnston, of the Exposition, told him that Pittsburg had plenty of well-paved streets in the East End ftnd elsewhere. Mr. Seidl insisted upon re ferring to the streets adjacent to Mechanical Hall, which he declared were- in a shameful condition, as a good many of tho9e Who- drove or walked to the Festival will be in clined to admit. Afterward Director Johnson said to me: "I have every reason to believe that the present condition of Duquesne way and other streets near the Exposition v, ill soon be remedied. Before the fall season opens I believe that the greater portion of Duquesne way, and at least that in front of the Expo sition grounds wiU have been put into first class order. An appropriation was made by Councils some time ago to the extent of $10,000 for the improvement of Duquesne way." Chief Bigelow has already advertised for iron pipe for a larger water supply, and I understand that there will be no delay in laying the pipe as soon as the contract is let. The re-paving of Duquesne way will follow the laying of the pipe, and I know that Mr. BigelowTs disposed to do all he can to improve the approaches to the Exposi tion, and that he will push matters, now that Councils have given him the money. "Everyone must admit that the improve ment ofthe paving in the streets named is one of the most important that could be made in the entire city. Just think of it durins the 40 days the Exposition is open hearly half a million people travel overthese streets. There are in addition the thou sands who attend the entertainments take tne i estival for instance given in the Ex- position buildings, to Bay nothing of those who have to walk and ride over these streets in the course of their hnsfneaa each d.iv. Visitors from other cities and the country are unfavorably impressed with Pittsburg as a city when they see a thoroughfare so much in use in such bad shape. I am glad that Mr. Bigelow is now in a position to take tho matter in hand, and I know that it is no fault of his, but simply for lack of funds um 110 nus not uone so sooner. Jir. jtsigeiow sees the need for the improvement, and has done his best to forward them." A Street Car Autocrat. Bubb McIstosh, the actor, said the other day: "There is a big difference between the street car conductors of Pittsburg and someJ you meet on tne suriace cars in New York. One day last winter I was riding In a Sixth avenue car and two ladles got in at a down town crossing. They were both anxious as women often are lest they should be carried beyond their destination, and as the car sped uptown, first one and then the other reminded the conductor to set them off at Fourteenth street and Sixteenth street re spectively. The conductor had all the characteristics of a Bowery tough, a receding forehead, a prominent lower jaw, buttony eyes and a rolling swag ger in his walk, and he showed Impatience when the ladies repeated their directions. Finally one of them said again: '.Remember! Fourteenth street,' and the conductor glared at her and replied: Yez got on that ther same place an' yez'll get off at ther same place.' 1 "The, ladies were so badly scared that when the car stopped at Fourteenth street both got out of the car as fast as they could." Some Transformations. "The growth of value in real estate makes some strange transformations," said a banker to me recently. "Not more than a dozen years ago a young woman was employed In my house as nurse. She was a good nurse, and the only thing my wife disliked about her was that she affected great secresy about her antecedents, and practically gave no ref erence for character, saying that she had never Deen in domes tie, service before, and that her family lived in or near New York City. But she stayed with us two years, and then one day left suddenly without any ex- Slanation further than that her father had led and her presence was required at home. Last winter my wife went South, and in the sleeping car going down she saw a woman of 35 or so whose face seemed strangely familiar. She could not place .hen however, and it was not until after leaving Memphis that the woman, who was handsomely and correctly dressed, and was accompanied her maid, came up to my wife and introduced herself as the quondam nurse. The story the woman told to account for the change in her circumstances was somewhat extraordinary, but I have since verified the mostimportant part of it.namely, the fact that she is at present a very wealthy woman. It appears that she was the daughter ofa well-to-do tradesman in New York, and after a violent quarrel with her father left home and sought to make a living as a servant. Her father was never recon ciled to hei but her mother, who survived him, made her sole heir to the estate he left. Thus when hermother died, six years ago,- my nurse gin iouno. nerseu in posses sion of real estate and other prop erty worth in the -neighborhood of half a million dollars. But tho point in the story, singular as it all was, which in terested me most related to the increase in value of real estate in the business part of New York in the course of less than half a century. About 4Q years ago the father of this woman bought three houses on Sixth avenue, somewhere between Fourteenth nnd Twentv-third streets, for $27,000. or $9,000 apiece. To-day each of these houses, now stores with dwelling rooms above them, rents for its original price, $9,000 a yean and recently the present owner wisely refused $250,000 for them. The woman, who was willing to look after my youngsters for $3 a week fen or twelve years ago, had the kind ness to tell my wife that she was happier then than she is now with money accumu lating faster than she can find investments for it." Lost More Than They Found. Manager Jenks tells me a singular story about two lost festival tickets. One morn ing last week a lady came to him and said to him that she had lost a couple of tickets, droppod them in a down-town store she thought. She could point out and she did subsequently thb exact location of the seat on tho box office plan. Manager Jenks felt he could rely upon the veracity of the lady, for he knew her to be of excellent social standing and her manner of telling the story carried conviction with It, so he gave her a special card of admission, and instructed the doorkeeper and ushers to give her the seats indicated on the card. Then to prevent any possible trouble he told the ushers that if the lost tickets were presented to give the holders seats in a box. Vcli, luu Uiguti wiuci auu atuo cuuugu a couple'of people came In with the lost tick ets, and when the usher obeyed his instruc tions and told them courteously that owing to a mistakea generous term to use he would have to ask them to take seats in a box, they were prodigiously indignant nnd demanded the seats In the box which they had bought! They didn't get the seats and well, there is no use in moralizing over it, but some re spectable people and the finders of tho lost tickets looked lespectable have a singular conception of honesty, have they not? The Cook Smoked Cigarettes. "I dids't enjoy my dinner to-day," said a Plttsburger yesterday. "Whafrwas wrong with it?" asked a friend. "Oh, a trifle an incident of French cook ing. I ordered some green peas and whon thev came I liked the looks of them uncom monly. The second mouthful I took of them contained a surprise. My teeth.encountercd something tough, but I chewed away at it thinking It was only a bit of tho pea pod. The next second my palate told mc some thiuff was wrong and. I determined to swallow etiquette rather than the tough morsel, and what do you think I removed from my mouth? A half-burned cigarette! My confidonco in the cook disappeared, and I couldrt't cat another mouthful.'1 Very Muscular Massage, A little nephew of Robert Layton, the Immigration Inspector, was looking out of tho window the other day watching with deep interest the operation of some pavers whnwMc laving Belgtnu blocks. The child kept 'up u rtfuning fire of comments upon the woik for the benefit of his grand mother, who was sitting near by. "When the man with tho rammor came along to pound tho stones into place the child cried in high glee: "Here, grun'mnl Look! Hero's a man going to g(vo the,road massage treatmentl". Six Yean In Jail for Debt, Doveii, "Vt., May 16. William Worcester was released from jail last night aftet being incarcerated six years for debt. The cred itors finally th ed of paying hit board, and he camb out of jail an old and homeless man. Hard on "Me lud." London Statesman. ' Tennyson is said to make $30,000 out of his poetry. He make dollars out of It 'when nthes can't make sense. a; - ';-.- THE TALLOW TBEE. It Grows In China and Produces a Cood Illuminating Oil. New York Recorder. A consular report upon the trade of Wen chow,. China, contains some details regard ing the tallow tree. This curious tree (Stilllngla sebifera Eoxh.) is largely' culti vated near Wenchow, and still more widely within the Ch'u-chou prefecture to the west. It is not generally known that the fruit of this tree produces oil ns well as tallow. The berries, which resemble coffee beans in ap pearance and size, are first steamed and then pounded In an ordinary rice trough. By pounding, the soft, mealy, mesocarp is nartiallv separated from the kernels. The -n hole is then placed in a bamboo sieve, the meshes of which are Jusc large enough to allow the mealy matter to be scrubbed through, and small enough to Jieep back the kernels, which are hard, mack ami about the size 01 peas. From the mealy matter the tallow Is ex--pressed in primitive wooden presses. The oil is derived from the kernels In the follow ing manner. They are dried and passed be tween two millstones held at such a distanoe apart by means of a bamboo pivot as to crush the hard shells of the kernels without Injuring the white interiors. The whole is then passed through a win nower, which separates the broken shells from the solid matter. The latter is there after placed in a deep iron pan, and roasted until It begins to assume a Drownish color, the process being accompanied by continual stirring to prevent burning. Tho crushed shells make an excellent fuel for the purpose. It is then ground byahuge stone roller in a circular stone welhsteamed, made into circular cakes with bamboo and straw casings, and passed through the wood en press. A good lighting oil, called "ch'ing yu," ofa brownish yellow color, is thus ob tained. The tallow is called "p'i yu," that Is, skin, or external oil. VESSE FOB SWEETMEATS. An Old New Tork Gentleman Gets Bich By Writing Couplets. On the top floor of one of the tallest build ings in upper New York, says a correspond ent of the Boston Journal, toils an old man who has probably written more poetry than any other single man living. His business 13 that of writing the "poetic" mottoes which one finds in the cheap candies ofthe day- Poetry which could neversee the light of day in any other way is hidden in these tissue-papered "party" candies. I had an interesting talk with this man a few days ago. He has been 20 years in the business, is over 60 years of age, and hasac cumnlated a fortune, although he still keeps up the same monotonous poetical grind. "It is a curious trade, you know, I suppose," said the old man, "yet some one must do it, and it is very profitable. I have built 14 city and country houses out or it, and in a year or two I shall lay down the pen for good, and let some one else take npthe work. How do I write so much? Why, it has become second nature to n These "mottoes' are simple, anything will do, and the more silly tho are the better. I know it is perfect trash, and it is preposterous to dignify the things with the word 'poetry.' I spend three days every week here, and. resl off, I sup pose, a hundred of these things every day. Why, I often eat my lunch" with one hand and write with the other. Yet, as I say, it is profitable, much better than writing bad novels, for, after all, my verses never do any harm. They are sUly, I grant you, but per fectly harmless, and young lads and girls like to be merry over them. Dear me, 1 sup pose I've married many a couple with this pen, and if you'll excuse me I'll lust write a score or so more before we go out to lunch," and in about 15 minutes the old man was ready to go with me, carrying in his pocket an envelope full as the result of an hour's work. OLD HUSSEHTOTJCHIT. The Part Played by a Queer Word In the life ofa Girl Baby. Union Signal. There was one word the little girl heard many times a day. The word was Mussen touchit. Baby wondered who Mussentouchit could bo. The stranger lived in the bureau draw ers. It lived in the sewing machine. It lived in the tall jar that stood on the little round table. It certainly lived in the glass globe where the gold fishes swam. This went on till baby was 9 years old. There was rio word she heard so often as the long, queer word, Mussentouchit. Mussentouchit was everywhere-in the shining books on the parlor table; In the flower beds; among the roses; even in mamma's work-basket the strange thing lived; and if baby but took up a reel of Bilk or cotton, there was Mussentouohit. One day baby found herself by the glass globe all alone. The family were.very busy, and for a few minutes forgot the little, pry ing, restless darling. This was her. chance. Up went the chubby leg3 Into the chair that stood near the gold-fish globe. Poised on the rounding cushion, baby reached far over to touch the gold-flsh. In reaching 'she lost her balance and fell, dragging the globe to the floor. There was a crash, a scream, a rush, and mamma was on the spot. Baby was picked up, kissed and scolded. "I dess I tilled olej Mussentouohit 'S time!" she said, shaking herself and walk ing off. A QUEEB BONE GROWTH. It Puzzles the Ohio Physicians Who Re moved It With the Knife. Akeoit, May 16. For the past few weeks Mr. F. M. Ranney, No. 811 Carroll street, has been suffering with what he took to be grip in the right leg. Some time ago he dis covered in that leg a small loose bunch, which would slip along the muscles above the knee and pass from one side to the other, traveling a distance of 12 inohes. A. physi cian was called, and, placing the patient under the influence of chloroform, removed the bunch, which proved to be bone, about the size and shape of a common peach stone, Incased in a membranous sackhaving no ap parent connection with any tissues. On It were four or five little growing knobs the size of bird shot. The case is one that puz zles local physicians, who are unable to ao count for the growth of the bone in Its strange pathway. Congressmen Are Too Tough. Albany Argus. Not less than 43 Englishmemberspf Parlia ment aro down with the grip. Yet'flie epi demic failed to do its work in Washington when the billion dollar Congress was in ses sion. Short, But Not Sweet, Topeka State Journal. When a. Kansas Alliance man wants to show how unaffected the Alliance Is, he re fers to the two noted leaders 0 the organi zation as "Pen"" and "Simp." PEOPLE WHO VISIT PlITSBUHG. H. E. Passavant, Secretary of the Ma honing and Shcnango Iron Association, was visiting local freight agents yesterday. The valloy manufacturers still want a reduction in rates on iron and coke. Mr. Passavant said they couldn't start if they wanted to, nnd tho agents think the furnace men are making a great bluff when they say they won't resume operations until tho freight rates are reduced. Assistant Postmaster A. J. Edwards went to New York last evening to see about ft now style of suit for the postoffico employes. They are intended to be introduced when the new office is opened. Mr. Edwards thought the cap would bo navy blue. The suit3 will be made in Pittsburg. Henry P. Bruce and Smith Mowry, two nmotlreil nloctricians. from. Boston, are in the city to get the Birmingham road in shape to begin operating. They aro stopping at the Duquesne. It is expected the new road will be rnuning snortiy. John Thomas, of Youngstown, and Charles A. McCready, of New Castle, arc Stopping at tho"Soventh Avenue Hotel. John T. Harrigan, of Detroit, and Charles More and wile, of Butler, are among the guests at the Anderson. B. T. Townsend, of1 New Brighton, and J. It, Ilarblitzoil, of Meyersdale, are stopping at the Duquesne. President J. P. Hughart, of the Grand Rapids nnd Indiana loud, was in the city yesterday. J. H..Wible, of Canton, O., and 'W.'P. Reese, of Johnstown, are registered ,at tho Anderson. H. C. Frick left for-New York last even ing to spend Sunday with Iris family. Lewis Jones, a "Wheeling iron man, is at the Central Hotel. '" Dr. Passavant left for Philadelphia lasL i renln!?. -- , ; 1 '- CCBIOUS CONDENSATIONS.- '-There is a man in New Tork who makes a handsome living regulating self regulating docks. A New Tork man has just taken his first mouthfni of food in seven months. Ho was nourished by mechanical meana. There is a sign on one ofthe side streets of Atlanta, Go., that is at least expressive. Itjrends: "Going out to do ' whitewashing doneliere." A jeweler has invented a device for nse In sleeping cars that promises to become popular. It is a ladder composed of tubes of leather that provides easy access to nppex berths. - The prisoners in the Ohio Penitentiary were searched a few days ago and about two bushel baskets of knives were found con cealed on their persons. An inventor living in Black Bock, N. Y., has attached an automatic musical in. strument to a bicycle, and applied for a patent. The instrument will play so long as the wheel is in motion. A Philadelphia woman complained the other day against being detained by the local Coroner to testify regarding the sudden death of her mother, on the ground that she she wanted to go shopping. A town in Michigan has an art museum which has met with some discouragements. but hopes to get along better since putting up inis notice: "A'lease aa not e the pictures out of their frames." ) this notice: "Please do not cut any 01 A 2-year old girl fell from the fourth story window, ofa house in Newburg, N. Y., the other day. Strange to say, she was not killed, and an hour after the fail was playing as though nothing had happened. Since 1800 there have been retired in France CO Ministers of Justice, 87 Ministers of the Interior, 73 Ministers of Foreign Af fairs, 54 Ministers Of Finance, 71 Ministers of War, and 68 Ministers of the Navy. In the East women and men are refusing to take parcels from the store where they are wrapped in papers containing the mer chant's advertisements. Public opinion seems to justify them in their refusal. A Louisville couple were to have been married In the church and great prepara tions to that end had been made, but when the time came their timiditv so overcama them that they stole awayfrom their friends and were quietly married in aminister's par lor. Upon learning about the sale of the famous whipping-post of that city to a speculator who had meant to exhibit it at tho World's Fair, the people of Willmington, Del., went in a body to the yard where it was kept and with axes and saws reduced it to a mass of kindling wood. Travelers from California, Arizona and New Mexico say that the regiments of tour ists that follow each other through those Tegions are all armed with kodaks, and that the Indians are mortally afraid of them and make vigorous protest against being aimed at by the amateur photographers. A working girls' club at Jersey City" has disbanded. It was a sort of Adamlesd Eden for two years, but a proposition to have a reception once a month to which, young men could be invited, caused a divi sion of sentiment and two new clubs have been formed out ofthe ruins ofthe old. One. is Adamless, while the other is not. A preacher at Fernandina, Ha., was forced to sue his church for nearly $200 oweojj him ever since -February J, 1887, when the church clerk gave him a due bill for the" amount, $13 69. The church set up thai singular defense that the debt was barred, by the statute of limitations and the tSary was, therefore, nncollectable. We are now producing six timfiea much native wines as we export. The nnm ber of gallons of foreign wines imported lastt year was only 5,060,873, whereas the number? of gallons of home production was over 30, 000,000. The importations, moreover, are! only 300,000 gallons more than in 181P, whea we produced only 125,000 gallons of wine. Two fashionable young ladies in New" York are making a great deal of money In su novel way. In thelryouththeirfathertaughfii them to play chess, and now they teach the! mysteries of the game and. earn between $10,000 and $15,000 a year apiece. They tutor! classes, and these are generally formed of six persons, whopay never less than $15 eacli) ior a course or a uozen lessons. An Atchison woman has been infbrme6!j that she cannot live two years. She hast therefore; resolved on making the most off her time, and has entered on a career on merrymaking and gayety. Another doctor1 informs her that if she will saw off on high, living and go slow in her merrymaking she) can recover her former good health. The ?ay life strikes her fancy and she accepts he death warrant of doctor No L France in 1889 had a debt per capita 0$ $116 33, and It Is understood that this does"' not include certain annuities of an unstated bnt great amount. Great Britain, though slowly decreasing her debt, had a burden of $87 89 per capita; Russia, $30 79; A-hstro Hungary, $70 84; Belgium, $63 10: tha Nether-' lands, $& 56, while that of the United States was but $14 63, and of its indebtedness nearly one-half was made np of non-interest bear ing "notes; Several young women of Crawfordsville, Ind., gave a select danco the other evening. The feature of the event was that the young women went after the young men and es corted them to the hall. They secured three large drays, and, after stretching a ropo on the pins around the sides, the young women got on the drays and went after their es corts. After securing all their gallants, ths drays paraded through town to the hall where the dance was held. The parade was a novel sight, and was the cause of much, amusement. An enterprising young jproceryman of Buffalo, N. Y., read a few days ago in a news paper that radishes are good for grip. Heats oncejmade out a conspicuous placard to the effeot that "A celebrated physician declares that radishes are a preventive and cure of the grip." - This he placed outside his store; on the green grocery shelf and piledbunches of glowing radishes high about it. By noon; so fast had they disappeared, that ha doubled the price of them, and still pur chasers came, and before 5 o'clock in tie afternoon he hadn't a radish in the place. Two Frenchmen appeared at a liien factory in Jaroslav, In the Volga, four weeks ago and told the manufacturer that they were French Government Commissioners with an order for a cloth case In which to wrap theEiffel Tower In winter. Ther pre sented so many sealed documents and letters with the signatures of celebrated French men that the manufacturer swallowrjl their marvelous story and agreed to take the huge contract. The "Commissioners" re quired from him $1,200 as an earnest of his intention to turn out the tofcfr's new clothes, and left him with directions that ha should go to Paris at 6nce to communicate further with the city officials and th measure the tower. He went, with severalassistants who were to help him determine tne details of the undertaking, and thereby spent $300 more-to learn that he had been swindled. TICBXEK'S TAUT TA1 "What are you studying?'1 "Metaphysics." "And what Is that!" "I don't know anv better than roo. I only study It for pleasure. ' 'Iileaende M Edith You can't imagine how 3Ir. Bui. ilnch complimented your slngli Ethel-Did he. tbongh? Edith Yes; he said 'twas sihiplr heaTenly. TIthel-Bcallv? Edith Well, J nst tne same tning; ne saia 'twas simply unearthly. Bostonkourier. John Brougham, who had something of the genjns and characterof his gifted countryman, Sheridan, once made k brilliant remark, which rivaled Sheridan's beitbon mot. On the occasion of a benefit accorded him, some one hroMrnpon the stage, at the elose of the per formance, a purse of gold, which lie picked up, and, after examining it, said: "Ladles and gentlemen, circumstances compel mc to pocket the lasnlt; but (looking grim) I should like to see the man who would repeat It!" Outlet Home Journa I. The good die young. The others become oldest inhiMtants and lie abont the weather, thclr ages and everything else. Sao York Herald. LittleIugley Do you admire handsome ' men. Miss Amy? Amy-Indccd I do. Mr. Mugley. L!tUs'JIngley-0!i, thank yott. HarprU Sasar. 'Judge What trade do you follow? Vgrant-I am a builder. "What do you buildj" VCastles In the air." Enhance. a mau ornof jitr. His moral standard is so high, So high his worthiness riittttbe. That In thctnen who-pasj him by tt- -s NO Jot of virtue, tan be tt,-Fuct. r , 1 j . . bVHSWklBBMiHi IssT AlAsi ..
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers