Esaasaa TTmrsSyW TSfF 11. .IL.IU $ 10 J0SEPH0WNS UP, JMhatton, the Famous Pre varicator, Slakes a Con fession of His Sins. HIS TEIUMPHSm FICTION. As an Amateur He Kept Pittsburg Reporters on the Moye. i . . TALES THAT ASTOMSHED EUEOPE. The Cotton-KcHng 3Ionkejs and the Weed Plucking Geese. METEORS, CITES AM) FEEAKS GAIOEE tmu'iiry fob tee dispatch. "When fiction rises pleaslne to the eye, Men will believe becauso they love the He. Probably My Own. 1 cannot remember the first lie I ever told. Since the recent injury to my head by falling from a street car in Xew Orleans, my memory has been seriously affected. Although my life has been at least as merry as that of the average member of my pro fession, it has been by no means an easy one. Care and years have left their marks, and I feel thai for me the sands are almost run. Therefore lam sure the public, to whose amusement I have so long been a humble contributor, will indulge the modest pride I feel in the following imperfect col lection of the children of my brain. My little fictions have always been of a harmless nature. Jly objeci has been to amuse the public and also to gratify a taste I have for this kind of literature. I was fortunate in comiag into the world in the age of electricity and the telegraph. Sly innocent creations were read from one side of the country to the other within a Sew hours after they saw the light, so that it was not necessary for me to write a great novel Joseph MuOiation. in book form to attain the fame of Sir "Walter Scott, Charles Dickens and other eminent producers of fiction. The great newspapers ar.d the United and Associated Press agencies brought my name suddenly and prominently to the front. Says He Is a BornlJar. I think I can say without boasting that I was a born liar. I remember, when a boy at school away back in the hills of Pennsyl vania, I wrotj up thrilling stage robberies for the Pittsburg papers. My first great success was a special detailing the alleged robbery of a stage coach .between "Waynes burg and Jacksonville. I described the lo cality and the scene minutely, dwelt upon the terror of the passengers, and told how one lady had become a raving maniac Xo real names wers given, consequently no one was distressed excep". numerous reporters, who rode 40 miles back in the interior from Pittsburg to get further particulars of the bold crime. I continjedto write about Jacksonville, or "Jacktowc," as it was locally called, describing it as a modern Sodom, until the good citizens held a mass meeting and de nounced the anonymous correspondent who concealsd his identity under the nom de plume of "Orange Blossom." The papers knew me by no other name for three years, when they printed a request that I mate my self known, and I did so. We had a merry laugh over the event, and then I wrote sev eral stories for the papers of a higher and more scientific order. Many of these were telegraphed to other large papers and at tracted general attention. A Joke That Was Taken Seriously. In 1S75 1 visited the tombs of "Washing ton and Lincoln and, learning that the re mains of both were in an excellent state of preservation, I suggested that they be taken to the Centennial Exposition of 1876 and placed in an annex, where by charging an admission feo of 60 cents enough money could easily be raised to complete the then nniuIiShed "Washington monument on a scale of grandeur iar beyond the original design. This proposition, which was in tended as a burlesque on the tardiness of those who projected the enterprise, was taken seriously by most papers and led to much bitter controversy among them. About that time a crematory was being erected at Washington, Pa., some 30 miles back from Pittsburg. There was no rail road to it and not much had been published about it. About a week before the furnace was completed I announced that six bodies would be incinerated in it, and as a result a host of reporters arrived from tho East to write up tho event. Even the Pittsburg papers were fooled, as there was no tele graph station at "Washington. The report ers, of course, failed to ge; the great story they had expected, but they saw the first crematory in the United States and got a good item anvhow. They all enjoyed the ;joke, too, although it had cost them a trip of SO miles through the mud. "When the first cremation really did take place there were very few reporters to witness it, as most of them looked upon the announce ment as another hoax. Kept tlio Pittsburg Keporters Trotting. I wrote up several thrilling stories and located them in prominent neighborhoods around Pittsburg, which cost the reporters many vain searches for particulars. One of these stories I wrote at this time had a won derful wedding for its subject. The scene was laid in Australia, the land of gold; the bride's dress was covered with diamends of colossal size and blinding glory of luster; the streets of the town in which the cere mony was performed were carpeted with flowers, and wealth was poured at the bride's feet in an unparalleled profusion of -wedding gifts. Many of these, as will be seen, were what might be called plain lies. It was after I had breathed the air of Kentucky for a while that I entered extensively into the field of ornamental prevarication. I left Pittsburg for Louisville in 1877, where I took the road for a hardware house. I vis ited some of the wonderful caves of that State in the course of my travels, and was struck by tho opportunities they offered. I wrote an account of a wonderful cave said to have been discovered at Glasgow Junc tion. It was 14 miles long and contained a large, navigable river filled with eyeless fish. There were niches in the walls in which were found a number of mummies similar to uiose oi lue jgypuaa pyraiiiuis. that period. This was last September. Patrick I xujledu awnings at .Brown s uo.s, cor "T stated that a syndicate of wealthy men Cunningham was called In. and be succeeded 1 ner Grant and "Water streets. TeL ll&t. similar to those of the Egyptian pyramids. had purchased the farm on which the cave was found and that a steamboat was to be built to navigate this remarkable stream. Filled an Order From Frank Leslie. E. H. Mentz, who filled tha double posi tion of postmaster and telegraph operator at Glasgow Junction, received over 100 tele grams, making inquiries about the "cave, and the little postomce had a perfect Enow storm of letters on the same subject. "With all the other work he had to do. life was made a burden to him. The late Frank Leslie wrote to me for a sketch of the town and pictures of the cave and its wonders. "With the assistance of a friend -who iSs quite clever with his pencil, I promptly fur nished both, together with an article of a highly scientific tone, minutely describing the topography of the surrounding country, all of which was duly published. Afterward I wrote stories about numer ous other caves. One of these I located near Hopkinsville. It contained an im mense lake in which were a number of strange, half-human fish. These latter were said to be mermaids, heretofore supposed to be fabulous, and my dispatch contained an account 01 tne tnnuing experience 01 sev eral prominent citizens wb.0 had succeeded in canturinir one of them. I rave the full name of each of the captors, and added that the unique little creature rapidly faded after being brought from its subterranean home, and only survived its captivity a few aays. u.ne great cave at .Litcnneld, reached by a shaft extending to the level of the sea and containing a dome 2,000 feet high, also attracted wide attention. I described the bottom of the cave as almost entirely cov ered by an immense body of sea water in which were numerous icebergs. The Detached Son Spots. It was at Ijitchfield also I composed the account of the fall of the giant meteor which fell near Bee Spring, in Edmonson county, on some wild lands owned by John E. Stone, the county surveyor. John M. Klein, a hardware merchant at Hartford and one of my customers, I dubbed "pro fessor" and set up in an imaginary observa tory at Hartford. The dispatch was dated April 2C, 1888, and told how, on the Satur day previous, tne proiessor, while looKing through his telescope, saw an eruption on the surface of the sun. 'It continued: One of its huge spots seemed to be pro jected with great violence beyond the sun's center of attraction, and the mass appeared to be coming directly toward the earth. About 10 o'clock on the Sunday night fol lowing tho citizens of Litchiiela were startled by a brilliant light, which illumi nated the country for miles around, and which was accompanied by a terrible roar ing, hissing noise. It struck in some pasture land belonging to Mr. Stone. It was about 3,000 feet high and covered 140 acres of ground. It lias probably sunk into the earth at least 100 feet. I described it as a glowing metallic mass, emitting a terrific heat, so that the thou sands of people who flocked to the scene were unable to approach nearer to it than about 1,000 yards, and added: "The fall of such a wonderful meteor in such a locality was indeed fortunate, as had it struck a densely populated district many lives would have been lost and much valua ble property destroyed." Improbable as this story may sound, it was aecepte-i for the truth by many of the leading papers of the country, and the prom inent citizens to whom I referred as sub stantiating it were deluged with letters of inquiry. Some, however, were skeptical, among them an 31. Iu "Winfrey, of Lees burg, Tex , who said he had seen the ac count in the Atlanta Constitution, but could not bring himself to accept it for the truth. Downs the Champion Texas XJar. At intervals I varied the cave discoveries with accounts of numerous prominent drum mers whom highwaymen attempted to hold up in lonely places all over the South. The drummer was always a hero, sometimes kill ing as high as three men. The boys always enjoyed such notoriety hugely. In 1882 1 accepted a position with a Louisville house, which had a branch establishment at Gal veston, and I was sent to take charge of it In Texas I met Tom Ochiltree, who had been noted as the champion liar of the Lone Star State. I determined to defeat him and thus maintain the honor of Kentucky. To accomplish this enormous feat I brought down another meteor. It fell near Williama' ranch in Brown countv, imbed ding a house full of Mexicans 200 feet in the earth and covering an acre of ground, in which was a flock of sheep, who shared the common fate. A mass eight feet in height was left exposed to the light of day. This meteor was red hot, blasting everything about it, and from huge fissures proceeded sulphurous gases of baneful strength. The Port 'Worth ffarrfte Jublishedthi3 incredible fabrication in collusion with its author. A press agent read the account, in his hunger for news swallowed it, and telegraped it to the main office in New York, whence it was distributed over the length and breadth of the Units! States. The morning after its universal publication the Gazette received 114 telegrams of inquiry respecting the al leged phenomenon, of which several were trom Europe, ana letters asKing tor further information poured into the office for months. Three requests for further par ticulars came by cable. One was from,the Paris Galois, another from the Edinburgh Scotsman and the third from the London Tuna. That from the Timet read: Please dispatch correspondents to where the great meteor fell. Send fullest particu lars by cable and draw on us for all ex penses. Threatened to Send Him to Congress. Hundreds of letters were also addressed to the postmaster at Fort "Worth, who faith fully promised to shoot me on sight I aft erward met him and had the pleasure of dining with him at his elegant home, where I was serenaded by the Fort Worth Band. This was my first visit after the fall of the meteor and Tom Ochiltree. Threats were made of sending me to Congress in Tom's place on this account, and I had to leave the district in order to avoid what was, at the time, an undesirable consummation. In justice to Mr. Ochiltree I wiU add that he bore me no ill-will on account of my triumph, but with characteristic chivalry acknowledged his defeat ' Prom Texas I went to Mexico, where I sold goods and picked up a good deal of the Spanish language. I was much interested in the quaint and primitive manners of Jhe people, and entertained them with many marvelous tales, all of which they accepted wim umaiiing creuuiuy. Returning to Kentucky I told in the Lex ington Transcript of the wonderful lotion employed by Patrick Cunningham, of .Kichniond, Ky., by which he made his body impervious to snake bites. I said: The moment the fangs of a snake came in contact with it a powerful electric current was generated which drove "the snako's own poison through every blood vessel in its body, causing almost instant death. Cunningham in one summer killed 17,000 snakes in Madison county alone, and real ized auite a handsome sum as the result of his wonderful skill in ridding the premises of the good citizens of the reptiles. He could locate "a den of snakes by their scent as easily as a dog can track a rabbit. He did not wait for them to come out of their hole, but -when it was at all practicable he crawled in after them and killed them right and left with a club he carried. The farm of J. B. Parks, which was located near Richmond, was overrun with rattlesnakes and black snakes which had killed several fine Jersey cows and carried off hundreds of young chickens. Cunningham visited the place, killed 4,000 serpents, big and little, and Mr. Parks was not molested further. The snakes had multiplied wonderfully in Madison county since the war. It is supposed that they were frightened bv the roar and din of battlonear Porryville and congregated for BiAlCfcjr 1U tUUb tiUiiby. Snakes in a Colonel's Wlilsky. Colonel Irvine, who lives on the outskirts of Bichmond, had three barrels of Anderson county whisky It years old in his cellar; he loft the bung holes open to age it taster and make it mellow. Judgo of his surprise, therefore, when he went to show it to some visiting friends one morning to find that it was nearly all gone, and in one of the barrels only about two gallons were left In this barrel over 40 largo blacksnakes were dis covered all coiled up and in a beastly state of intoxication, while in the dark corners of tho collar groups of rattlesnakes were coiled, some sobering up, others in various stages of intoxication. They had gone in through a hole in the basement door, and as Colonel Irvine was away with his family for about three months, it is supposed tho snakes, not being- disturbed, lust staved with thB whiskv and did not draw a sober breath during all THE In killing over 3,000 snakes-on that place within two weeks.- Of this modern St. Patrick I wrote: Cunningham is rather a small man, with a vory dark complexion, with a thick mat of dark hair. Henas keen piercing eyes, and talks with wonderful rapidity. Ho was born in India, near Calcutta. His parents were Irish, and were sent out by the English Gov ernment for department work in that prov ince. It was in the Jungles of India that Cunningham discovered from the natives the formula for making the deadlv lotion so fatal to poisonous reptiles. Cunningham savs ho will keeD on killing the snakes until thero is not one in the State of Kentucky, if the people will only pay him for it. Of course, that would be an taraossibilitv for one man to accomplish, but he says he likes the business and hopes to do a good work in the State if his life and health are only spared a few years. As snake stories are almost universally regarded with suspicion this one was prob ably received with the skepticism it de served, but it resulted in bringing a very snug fortune to a worthy man. A bachelor uncle who had come to this country with his lather trom Ireland settled m lowa. Two years before this story appeared he died, leaving 3,000 acres of splendid Iowa land to his nephew. A lawyer who saw the story of Patrick's exploits in the Cincinnati Eitquircr wrote to him, and the famous de stroyer of snakes rose at once from poverty to affluence. He Invented Malleable Glass. Under date of Lawrenceburgj Ky., July 29, 1887, 1 wrote for the Louisville Courier Journal a somewhat extended account of the discovery of the lost art of making malleable glass by C. M. Caldwell, whom I spoke of as a mechanical genius in the employ of a hardware firm of that place. In describing his laboratory, I said: Its contents are a puddling furnace about the size of an ordinary bakeoven. It is built of fire brick and contains numerous pockets in which to place crucibles. A pile of cruci bles and several baors of borax fill one corner of the room and a lot of charcoal another. A portable forge, patent fan blower, a pile of glass bottles and broken window glass about complete- the contents of the establishment. Aside from the above facts, the balance of Mr. Caldwell's secret still remains with himself. I described how he had fashioned a bucket from a huge baU of glass with a hammer and a pair of rollers, even to the rivets for the ears, which were of such tensile strength as not to require a single metal rivet Tho glass, I said, is placed in the furnace, packed with borax and some other chemi calswhich, of course, arc secret and covered over with charcoal. Then tho blower is run by the power in the workshop, and in about 12 hours the glass is malleable. It is cooled slowly, and tho day after coming from the cruciblj can be hammered into any shape as easily as if it were copper or xeaa. Somo Astronomical Discoveries. "While stopping at the Phojnix Hotel in Lexington the conversation turned on the questioa as to whether tha star which guided the wise men to the East can still be seen, and "W. H. Polk, a local newspaper man, suggested that I discover it in the in terests of science. "With the assistance of "Professor" John M. Klein and his Hart ford observatory I did so, giving minute de tails of the extraordinary event Scientists all over the country at once became pro- loundly interested, and tne late Kichard A. Proctor did me the honor to devote several learned columns of matter to the subject, in the course of which he pointed out that the constellation in which I had located the star was on the other side of the earth at night He also took the liberty of de nouncing "Professor" Klein as a hum bug, and the whol story as a bold fabrica tion. In brief, he took the position that there was no such thing as the "Star of Bethle hem" and that if there was it had not been discovered at the Hartford observatory. The former assertion immediately arrayed many of the leading ministers on my side and secured the sympathy, if not the open .sup- ' port, of many scientists who haa a firmer conviction than Prof. Proctor of the truth of the scriptural narrative. To avoid the obvious difficulty of seeing through the earth I told of a wonderful telescope which the professor had just importedfrom Berlin. It had mirror attachments, with stained glass, which enabled the professorto catch the shadow of the heavenly bodies on a large disk, even when the sun was blazing forth in noonday splendor. By the aid of this improved apparatus, comets, stars, planets, or any other bodies that were hov ering in the heavens during the day could be plainly seen on the face of this large re flecting disk. This very novel instrument led to still further discussion, and the con troversy was prolonged and interesting. None of my fabrications attracted wider attention than that in which I stated that a Southern planter had successfully employed a number of monkeys in breaking hemp in his hemp fields. This dispatch ttm dated at Bichmond, Ky., and was as follows: J. B. Parkes, a substantial farmer near Kingston, in this county, has successfully trained a force of seven largo monkeys to work in his hemp fields and to break and prepare the hemp for market. Thev do the pwork quicker and better than the negroes he formerly employed, and the cost Is about one-fourth. It required about four months of patient training to get the animals to understand the duties required of them. But now they seem to comprehend it all, and perform their daily labor with but little difficulty. The monkoys were sent to Mr. Parkes by his brother, who is engaged in business in Cape Town, South Africa, nnd who had seen the animals put to similar uses by the natives of that country. Mr. Parkes will send for about ten more, six of which will be sold to John G. Taylor, another extensive raiser of hemp and a neighbor of Mr. Parkes. 4Tho Trained Monkeys and labor. To carry out the hoax my friend "W. H. Polk wrote a lengthy communication to the Lexington Press,' in which he stoutly pro tested against this importation of cheap for eign labor as an outrage upon the negro race. This new phase of the labor problem was commented on all over the country by editor-i, most of whom appreciated the joke. The London Telegraph printed an editorial on the subject a column long, in which, after repeating the story of the dispatch, it ob serves: The result of the experiment is,'we regret to say, everything that Mr. Parkes expected ortould have desired. This sort of thing will never do. Monkeys are excellent and engaging animals on barrel organs, or seen from the right side of stout bars at a zoological garden. Monkeys, however, must not be allowed to engage in occupations which aro too lofty for them. They should not, under any circumstances, whatever the temptations to adopt such a course, be per. mlttod to enter Into rivalry w ith human beings. j. At present we are glad to think that there is no immediate prospect of Mr. Parkes' ex periment being repeated on our shores. Yet nobody can tell how soon the infection of the new system may spread to England. Monkeys at the dock gates at 6 In the morn Ing; monkeys filling the workmen's trains into the city before dawn, and going back again at night; bands of monkeys prowling round the streets of the metropolis, and yell ing out something intended for "We've got no work to do" how soon will this Infliction be upon us in grim reality ? TTin marvmno Tinwaitn. vwnra fillort TntTl mingled terror and indignation, and held mass meetings all over the South, denounc ing Mr. Parkes and his monkeys and pro testing against the further importation of these new African rivals. Such, in brief, is my career as a prevari cator. I have not attempted tc furnish a complete list of my fables. No one knows so well as myself, perhaps, how gigantic would be the undertaking. To me has been ascribed the authorship of many really cred itable lies, such as that about the famous cucumber man of Texas, which emanated from the fcrtift brains of fellow drummers. I have no desire, and I think the public will sustain me in the assertion that I have no need to claim the laurels which belong to other men. I am content to keep those I have honestly won and to subscribe my self, yours truthfully, Joseph Mulhaitoit. On Tenter Hooks. Nervous people are always on tenterhooks. A slight noise smites the drums of their ears utes svml like tlie-clasu of symbals. Tho most trivial, unexpected sound drives them to the verge of distraction. But invigorated and built up with Ho3tetter's Stomach Bitters, their su persensitiveness speedily disappears. Dys pepsia, malaria, kidney troubles, bilious ness and rheumatism are cured by the Bitters. .PITTSBURG- DISPATCH, SM HELD THE EHBff. Heroic Conduct of the Wife of the English Agent at Manipur,. MATEniONT FOE OFFICE HOLDERS. Sacrifice of Prince Louis, Which Defeats His Father's WiU. LOUISE MICHEL AND HEE DOINGS WRITTEN FOB TUX DISPATCH. "When it comes to deeds of bravery woman takes no secondary place to man. The latest heroine to attract attention is Mrs. P. St Clair Grimwood, wife of the English agent at Manipur, India, a deli cate little refined woman who has sig nally distinguished her" self under circumstan ces warranted to terrify persons of iron nerve. "With the agency, her home, looted and Mrs. Grimicooi. wrecked; the magazine blown up; most of the defenders killed. (among whom was her husband, their heads cut off and bodies otherwise mutila ted, she with a few others managed to hold the place until General Graham came to the rescue with a strong force of English sol diery. How the woman managed to retain her courage is something marvelous. The victim of the most unfortunate cir cumstances; her hifsband murdered through the rashness of a foolhardy superior who ex pected to entrap with craft a people who were craftier than he; a person surrounded by foes of the most bloodthirsty type, she yet maintained her coolness anij good sense, and has since furnished the best written de scription of the station and its attendant horrors. To Compel State Officials to Marry. The woman's rights agitators have within recent years developed considerable strength, through the means of which the sex controls quite a number of towns politi cally, holding the major portion of the offices. They have also secured permission to practice in the law courts. They have even penetrated into State Legislatures, but it has remained for the strong-minded female of Germany to so work upon the feelings of one, Wagner, a member of tho German Reichstag, that he has introduced a bill in that body, demanding that all state officials have wives or be made to marry forthwith. Consternation reigns in the circles affected and no wonder, for the men occupying posi tions would have an experience in case this bill becomes a law, beside which that of a successful political candidate in this country, with a lot of fat offices in his gift, would not be a circumstance. Every official would be immediately the marked property of either tender maid or other not so tender and there is a strong probability that to settle the many claims amicably, tha absurd "Bachelor's Sale" so familiar to the school children of the last generation would be aetually realized. Already one can almost see in imagination the old well-kn .we pic ture suggested bythi concluding lines o? the poem in wmen Every Old maid, someyounger, some older, Each lugged an old bachelor home on her shoulder. Prince Napoleon Defeated Again. Prince Louis, tee youngest son of. the late Prince Napoleon, and the one to whom he left the bulk of his for tune, has determined to divide it with his mother and elder broth er, thus deafeating the vindictiveness of his father. It is a pleasure to chronicle such true and praisewothy man hood, whether displayed by Prince or pauper. but especially the former, from which as a class but little generos ity emenates, as a rule, Prince Louts. and though Prince Louis has the misfortune to be a younger son, his conduct is not likely to be overlooked by the followers of the family. An odd feature of the matter appears in that even in the grave, misfortune, so far as it tends to defeat his ambitions, seems to follow Plon-plon." It was his heart-felt, if malicious, desire to ignore his wifo as well as disinherit his eldest son, from mo tives of pure resentment arising originally from an imaginary conceit that they were endeavoring to dethrone him from his posi tion leader of the Bonapartists. Prince Louis is two years younger than Victor, and He has thoroughly identified himself with the land of his mother, Italy, and is an officer in the army of that country. Another Judge That Needs Regulating. The Judges of the English law courts of the present seem to be bent on establishing records for themselves in one way or anoth er. The latest to make himself conspicuous is Judge Ellison, who has from the bench made the sweeping assertion that female witnesses are ten times more untruthful than men. Is it any wonder, under the circum stances, that the women of Glossop,the coun ty in which the daring assertion was made, as well as those of the better part of all Eng land, are up in arms.determined on demand ing satisfaction from the foolish Judge? It is barely possible that there are several "big wigs" occupying positions on the En glish Bench who are in as prime a state for removal for lunacy as was Judge Stephen, famous for his connection with the May bfick case, who was respectfully asked tore sign for seemingly .less cause than that dis played by Judge Ellison. Tho Church of England's Losses. The Church of England has been pecu liarly unfortunate during the past 12 Aa eHu iu uc ui avenue, retiring uisposuion. months. During that time some of the brightest lights have passed away in Canon Liddon, Bishop of Durham, Canon of "Win chester, Dean of J Manchester and the Archbishop of f?M York. Now, the W eminent Dr. Magee, II' who succeeded the last named scarce four months ago. Archbishop of York, hasalsogone. Bight Eev. "William Connor Magee was considered one of the finest orators in England. As Bishop of Peterborough, a distinction which he held for more than 20 years, he attracted attention, not only in the pulpit but on the occasion of his memorable and eloquent protest in the House of Lords against the disestablishment of the Irish Protestant Church. Notwithstanding the firm and un yielding views which he held in regard to some church subjects, he was in many re spects a broad-minded and liberal man, who favored discussion of all questions tending to enhance progress or fhe welfare of the people. ' Although reaching his 70th year, Dr. Ma gee was in very delicate health as a young man; at one time having to relinquish his work to retire for two years to Spain to re cuperate. He was the author of a number of theological works, which are held in high estimation by. Episcopalian divines. Monument for a Mythical Hero. The Swiss people are sparing no efforts W3)fc W JsP W1 SUKDAT, MAT 17, that may tend to the success of their Tell monument scheme. They are now offering a series of prizes for the best four.plans for the monument. All this in the face of the fact that it has been determined beyond question, by the ablest historians of the time, that "William Tell, the alleged hero of Altorf, had no existence in fact No doubt the people of the beautiful mountain land are loth to give up one of their greatest idols, and we of the United States could only appreciate what such a sac- rihee would cost them, ii asKea to Believe that George "Washington or Tom Jefferson were creatures of the imagination. The Famous Red Maid Again. After a long period of almost deathlv silence, Louise Michel, the famous "Bed Maid" of the terrible days of the last French Commune, is heard from again, and now on English soil. She is still at her old business of instieatine Anarchy. although her mission ,A, was ostensibly thatOT of a messenger of yj' peace and love to the workingmen, who like a great many of TteKedMatd. our own coutrymen, have an interesting labor question on their hands at present. An idea of the means chosen by her to ameliorate their condition may be gathered from extracts from her speeches, which are so modest that thev merelv suctrest. in a sense, the almost wholesale destruction of all the life and property in sight of those who do not exactly coincide with her views. Like many others of the same ilk, she makes the balls, but, to roll them, oh, no! That is for the poor fellows of the rank and file to do. "While they are displaying their devotion to the cause by starving them selves, Louise is living on the fat of the land. It seems as if there must be grave errors in the laws of both America and England that a clapper cannot be put on the mouths of such as Louise Michel, Herr Most and others of their kind until they have practically done their mischief. Victoria and Her Servants. Whatever may be said to the detriment of England's Queen by those who do not favor royalty, it must be admitted that she has always displayed a trait that is most pleas ing. Though exacting to the verge of sever ity at times witkherservants,few of thesover- eigns ol .Europe or any other country show such regard or consideration for them. "When famous old John Brown died, her sor row was almost pathetic, and those not understanding or knowing the facts seized upon the opportunity to ridicule her. Some even carriedthe matter to the slander point. Since that time, however, opinion has changed materially. It has been observed that her grief at parting from an old servant has not been confined to John Brown; that as one by one her faithful attendants were striken down, the Queen's earnest regret has been marked, even in the case of the veriest menial in her employ tho had gained her confidence by faithlul service. The death of Miss Reynolds at Grasse is the most recent example. "When the unexpected demise oc curred it is said Her Maiesty was almost completely prostrated the day following the event, and will still further show her regard for the memory of the deceased by erecting at her own expense a costly monument over the remains, which lie in the little cemetery of the beautiful little French town in which, th; Queen had been enjoying a holiday. "WlLKTE. HORSFORD'S ACID PHOSPHATK Makes Delicious Lemonade. A teaspoonful added to a glass of hot or cold water, and sweetened to tha taste, will be found refreshing and invigorating. Finb watch repairing, lowesi prices at Hauch's, No. 295 Fifth avenue. Established 1853. TVFsn WJES K5KW '" By k "2T' megP SPECIAL BARGAIN IE CASH OR CREDIT- On next Monday morning, Keech will place on sale, at the Mammoth Penn Avenue Stores, ioo PIECES of BEST QUALITY BODY BRUSSELS, which retails regularjy for $z 35 per yard, and which will be closed out at the remarkably low price, of $1, $1.10 and $1.15 PER YARD I Remember, that the patterns are new, the colorings the latest; the quality the best and the selection the most comprehensive. When Keech advertises a bargain sale such as this, the public knovs it tobe genuine. This is not old stock, neither is it soiled goods. ::: THERE ARE' ONLY A HUNDRED PIECES, and they won't last long, so ::: COME SOON IF YOU WISH TO BE SERVED! ' 25 Pi GIT SATED. To purchasers in our PICTURE AND BRIC-A-BRAC DEPARTMENTS. Keech has a very hand some line of- fine and me dium grade ENGRAVINGS, ETCHINGS and PHOTOGRAVURES. And can positively save you 25 per cent Espe cially we call attention to our stock of Clocks, Bronzes, Mantel Cabinets and Ornaments. Cash or Credit You will never regret your visit to Keech's Mammoth Stores. You'll find that it will profit you that you can save money in every department On account of the immense business done by this firm, they can afford to sell at very small profits. Keech does not mislead you by false statements and misleading advertisements. Keech guarantees every article that is sold from his stores. TO SAVE MONEY SEE CASH OR CREDIT- MAMMOTH. HOUSEFURNISHING STORES, 923, 925, 927 Penn Ave., -. Near Ninth St; 189L THE filYER OF LIFE. What Is Meant by the Third Member f of the Holy Trinity. NO ADEQUATE DEIWnON OFIT. Insufficiency of Language From a Theo logical Standpoint. IDEAS THROUGH STDDT OP RESULTS rwnrmur tob the dispatch. It is far more important to know what the Holy Ghost does than what the Holy Ghost is. Our Lord, before His crucifixion, and again before His ascension into heaven, said much to His apostles about the Holy Spirit, but what He said concerned the mission and the message of the Holy Spirit The Com forter will come, He said, and when He comes, thus and thus will He do and speak. And that was the limit of the revelation. By and by He did come. It is "Whitsun day to-day, and we read in the Bible about the dawning of that sacred festival whose anniversary we keep, and about the gather ing of the expectant company in the upper room, and how the sound came' like the sound of a rushing, mighty wind, and how the sight was seen like the appearance of. cloven tongues of fire resting on the heads of all the company, and how at once the men were gifted with a new courage and a new utterance. Down they went into the hostile streets. Face to face they stood with the men who had crucified their Master. They began to preach. And after that they never stopped preaching till death silenced them. Known by the Results. The Holy Ghost had come. He was not in the wind. He was not in the fire. These were but signs to assure the senses. He was made manifest in this notable result He was., seen in His influence. He was known in the. work He wrought in the minds and hrarts of those Christian men. "Whitsunday does not teach us what the Holy Spirit is." It tells us what He did, and does. This same placing of the emphasis, not upon the person but upon the work, is seen in the Catechism and in the Creed. In the one we ask the children what they chiefly learn in the Articles of the Christian faith. and they answer, so far as the Holy Spirit is concerned, that they learn to believe in "God the Holy Ghost, who sanctifieth me and all the people of God." In the other, we confess our faith in the ".Holy Ghost, the Lord and giver of life." He is the sanctifier and the life-giver. This is what we need, above all else, to know. fThat We Know About Life. This, indeed, is all that -we really can know. For the "Spirit is life," St Paul says, coming as near to a definition as one can. And, life, as we all know, can be de scribed only by telling what it does. "We are aware of its presence by its results. It is, invisible, intangible, absolutely undis coverable. There is no adequate definition of it It is simply that which makes things live. And that is all we know about it And "the Spirit is life." HMuch more than this is said about the Spirit in the theologies. "We are told, for example, that the Holy Spirit is both divine and personal, and is tho third member of the Holy Trinity. And all this is inferred, and rightly" inferred, from the state ments of the Holy Scripture. "When Christ set forth as the sacred name which should.be said in baptism 'In the-name of the Father, and of the Son and of the Holy Ghost" He gave us authority for regard ing the Holy Ghost as on a level of person ality and of divinity with the Father and the Son. There cannot well be any other natural and reasonable inference. But after all, what do we know? How much j A.T! KEECH'S E I Inducements are offered to purchasers of FOLDING BEDS. Such a beautiful assortment can be seen in no other establishment in the State. Exclusive styles, all sizes and finishes, and prices that make ready sales. Keech has made a spe cialty of this line. You - can't see such a stock else where. Cash or Credit T KEECH OFEIsr S.A.TTT:R:D.A.-5rS nearer are we to a knowledge of what the Holy Spirit is? The Inadequacy of TVords. For it aught to be understood that all 'theological definitions must be preface with a confession of the inadequacy of lan guage. Useful as words are, and indeed in dispensable in this imperfect stage of civil ization in which we live, it must not be forgotten that they are both inadequate'and misleading. Words are only the picture of ideas. And everybody knows that there are a thousand things even in the world of nature which -are quite unpicturable. No skill of pen or brush can depict the flagrance of a flow or the song of a bird. Just as much is left out, and must be forever left out, of words. The greater the thought the more halting and infirm the speech to be its messenger. On Pentecost they spoke with "other tongues." Perhaps some day, in some world better than this, we too will speak with other tongues. Till then we must rec ognize the inequality between thoughts and uruiua. xuc ui-ieci in mucu ineoiogy is tnat it overlooks this inadequacy of language. It takes the counter for the coin. "It takes the picture for the unpicturable scene. It takes the word as the equivalent of the idea. The Mystery of the Trinity. The Holy Trinity, we are told, is the truth about Deity, as being three persons in one God. The meaning of that statement to a great many good Christian people really amounts to tritheism. They believe in three Gods. And so they come, for exam ple, to the statement of the Atonement, and to them it means that one of these three Gods, the Father, sent another of the three, the Son, and compelled Him to suffer in the place of a sinful people. And the Atone ment, very naturally, seems to them a very difficult and perhaps a very dreadful doc trine, xne aimcuity is in tne distinction which the misleading words make between the Father and the Son. As for the Holy Spirit, to the great ma jority of Christian people, I am afraid, the belief in Him is a belief built upon au thority "and without any basis in reason. "We are not quite in the position of the men at Corinth to whom St Paul said: "Have" ve received the Holy Ghost sinee ve be lieved ?" and who answered, "We have not so much as heard whether there be any Holy Ghost" "We are a little better in formed than they were. We have heard that there is a Holy Ghost His name is often upon our lips in the words of the service, and we declare in the Creed that we believe in Him. The Trouble Is in the Language. But what answer can we give to questions? The Holy Ghost is the third person in the Blessed Trinity. Yes. But what does that mean? Let us understand distinctly that there is one God. There is one only God. When we say that the Son is God we do not mean, or ought not to mean, that He is a different God from the Father. Nor is the Holy Spirit a different God from the Father and the Son. There is one God and only one. "Whatever separation seems to be in volved in the word "person" is in the word. The difficulty-is in the inadequacy of lan guage. There is that about God which coite sponds;'it seems, somehow to that mysteri ous union in our own personality of heart, and soul; and mind, of which we are vague ly conscious, but which eludes definition. We are not three because of it Nor is God thret. And yet there is some kind of inde finable distinction. And when we formu late the doctrine of the Holy Trinity we put that indefinable distinction into an in adequate and blundering definition. We have no other language. We are ignorant of the other tongues they speak beyond the stars. We have to use the words we have. Best to- Study the Results. And the best way, as I say, to approach to an understanding of the one God as Father, Son and Holy Ghost is to think not so much of what God is as of what God does. Just as the best way to get an idea of ourselves as heart and soul and mind is to remember that with the heart we love, and with the soul we pray, and with the mind we reason. Thus when we think of God as supreme, THIS WEEK T MISS ! Examining Keech's dis play of ICE CHESTS and You can be suited in this department for it contains all the newest and best styles. Any price, any size, that you wish. There's the Advantage in Buying of Keech. You can get what you want for the stock con tains all that is best Cash or Credit CASH J TlZilj IOP. 0 TS N m eternal, infinite and absolute, the energy from which all things proceed, the First Cause; we think of God the Father. When we think of God as manifested among men, as acting in history, as setting us an exam ple for our lives, as "revealing, by a sign which cannot be mistaken, His love for us and His hatred for sin, we think of God the Son. When we think of God as life, as the creating and preserving and inspiring spirit, who ttbides in nature as the force which moves the world, who thinks in alfthought, and speaks in conscience, and is the source of all holy desire3, all good counsels, and all just works, we think of God the Holy Ghost The Supreme Thought About It "The spirit is life." That is the supreme thought about Him. When we say that we believe in God the Holy Ghost, we mean that we believe in God as the life of all life. In Him we live, and move, and have our being. God is not far distant, He is nearer to us than our thoughts. We are in His Sresence always and everywhere. God ia ne Whose dwelling Is the light of setting stars, And the round ocean, and tho living air. And the blue sky, and in tho mind of man: A motion and a spirit, which impels All thinking things, all objects of all thought, And rolls through all things. "Am I a God at hand, saith the Lord, and not a God afar off? Can any hide himself in secret places that I shall not see Him? saith the Lord. Do not I fill heaven and earth? saith the Lord." "Of Him, and through Him, and to Him are all things." What Science Really Is. All that we see about us in the wonders and glories of the world is the working of God the Holy Ghost. He is that World Energy which lies behind all that is visible and audible in nature. All science is but the study of the operations of God. "The Spirit is life." And as the life is in the plant, touching every smallest particle of it with its animating presence, so God is in the world. Socrates and Shakespeare, Raphael and Haydn, are the prophets, the apostles, among an innumerable multitude, of others, the inspired of God the Holy Ghost. No man ever uttered a aood thought or solved a hard problem or made a discovery but God helped him God the Holy Ghost. God is forever working in the Church. It is significant that this festival day of the Holy Spirit is also the birthday of the Christian Church. Because the best thing about a man is not his strength, nor his in tellect, but his character. And the Church exists for the sake of character. The best work of the HolySpirit is His sanctifying work. The best kind of life which He in spires who "is life" is the life of holiness. And to this end the Church is the instru ment of the Holy Spirit It is the Holy Ghost who speaks in all helpful utterance. It is the Holy Ghost who blesses the child new-born into the Church of God. It is by the ministrations of the Holy Spirit that the bread and wine become the messengers of heavenly strength. It is by the Holy Spirit that we are buut up daily mtobctter living. Its Various Manifestations. "There are diversities of gifts, but tha same spirit" Whether it be wisdom to understand the thoughts of deep thinkers, or knowledge to conduct the affairs of daily business, or the gift of healing, or faith, whether it be strength or intellect or char acter, "all these worketh that one and tha self-same spirit." "What will God the Holy Spirit do for us? That depends upon ourselves. Whatever welet Him, He will do. God is forever waiting to be gracious. God is forever ready to uplift us, to guide and help us, to make better Christians out of us if we will let Him. We must keep our nature open to His blessed influences; we must be at tentive to His voice, speaking to us daily; we must follow wherever He would guide us. All that He provides for the bettering of our lives, all the means of intellectual and spiritual grace these we must use. "The spirit is life." He will lead us into life eternal if we will. ' Geoege Hodges. sea CASH OR CREDIT do you Want -anything in the Housefurnishing line ? If so, see Keech's dis play. Everything at the most reasonable price. PARLOR SUITES, CHAMBER SUITES. LACE CURTAINS. SIDE BOARDS, LADIES' WRAPS, MEN'S CLOTHING, QUEENSWARE, SILVERWARE, At rock-bottom prices and for Cash or Credit OR CREDIT DVC.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers