1 He lean and Hungry Caricature of Uncle Sam Is Kot at All Appro priate in These Days, STATESMEN GETTING HEATIEE, Women Ire Willowy In Their Bays of Tonth, tut Unwieldy With the Com ing of Hiddle Years,. BIS PEOPLE AEEST GOOD MATURED. iiipue sal Bttbi So Hot Eur u Isvtrsi PrjjerUaa to. Iiel Otio. PTEITTEX FOB TBI DIirjLTCK. There ii a certain widely-known carica ture which for at least 30 years has been ac cepted as typical of the proportions and per sonal appearance of John Ball and Brother Jonathan respectively. The first figure is of a short, thickset little man with an enormons paunch supported by his corpulent limbs that is John Bull. The second figure, that of a tall fellow, lean to emaciation, with a hatchet shaped face and spare, pointed goatee, represents Brother Jonathan as he is no longer. "With the passing of time John Bull has not altered his characteristio shape, but Jonathan has changed his nntil he resem bles the beefy Englishman of'the carica ture more than the lank Yankee of yore, and Mrs. Jonathan has "plumped up" even more than her mate, so that while specimens or the elongated, skeleton-like Brother Jon athan may still be found among us, the trne type of the "end of the century" American is more like the rotund and unwieldy John Bnll than the original apothecary-like Jon athan of the picture, which is as much ont of date now as the Stars and Stripes of which his costume is composed. Except the letter carrier, no class, no calling is wholly exempt from this affliction of too much flesh. From ths President down to the ash man all are more or less bur dened with fat. President Arthur suffered irom it, so does Mr. Cleveland, and Presi dent Harrison keeps his oorporosity within reasonabla bonnds by walking three or four miles daily. This exercise henerer neglects, do matter what the state of the weather may he or the condition of the affairs of the great Republic They say he walks at a three mile an hour pace. This pedestrianism only is supposed to counteract the effects of the pie which he is reported to eat atevery meal. rat People of Washington. In the United States Senate the heavy weights are largely in the majority. Frank G. Carpenter says, in a reoent letter to Thb Dispatch, that "Philetua Sawyer is as broad as he is long, and shakes like a bowl of jelly whenever ne laughs;" that "Frank Hiscock weighs 225 pounds and his cheeks fairly bulge out with good living." The easy life, the certainty of income, absence of care and constant good living in the capital are provocative of corpulence, hence the tendency of our representatives to fatten up in Washington. There are, of course, some men amoog them who would not latten un der any circumstances, but the majority are scaling high. Statesmen Are Growing Heavier. Senator Allison weighs CO pounds more than he did when he was elected. Senators Manderson and Gorman are fast becoming heavy-weights and George 'Vest re quires much more vest than ke did two years ago. Leland Stanford lately spent a summer at tbe German Spring's in the hope of reducing his ponderosity. Frank G. Car penter adds: "I might give many more in stances of increase in the Senatorial body, but it suffices to say that tho average weight in the United States Senate is at least 175 pounds, and is even more than that m the Supreme Court. There is not a Judge on the bench, with the exieptionof Bradley, who is not a heavy-weight." So completely has thinness ceased to be typical of the American that foreigners are beginning to wonder at and comment upon our national bulk. In no other country, not even in adipose England, are there sold so nuuy nostrums for tho reduction of corpulence as in the United States. This disposition to "take on" fat, more especially In middle age, isattnluUble to many dif ferent causes, the firtt oi which is the drink ing of beer. Next conies tbe consumption f rich, fat-forming foods, complicated with the Indolence induced by luxurious living, and lastly, the lacE of exercise, all of which are the direct results of our having become a rich nation. Those of us who are obliged to work hard are not prone to become obese. The Girls Are Still Willowy. Oar girls, thank goodness I are still slender and willowy, bat that condition, as a rnle, does not outlast their first youth. Like her English bister, the American wom an, as she approaches middle age, loses her delicacy of ontline, and irequ-ntly even be fore that dreaded time is reached becomes plump, and afterward by easy stages she grows a little too fleshy, then decidedly stoat, and fii.ally, to lier horror aud con sternation, she find herself tat, absolutely and frequently abnormally fat 1 Then there is a rush for "obesity cures," "anti-fat remedy" and "reduction movements," but, alas I the mischief is an "accomplished fact," and she learns to her cost that getting fat is like getting married, easier done than undone. To convince yourself that we are no longer a thin people, go into any of our great dry goods stores or ladies' restaurants in the large cities, or stand on the corner of some fashionable street lrequented by ladies, and you will be obliged to admit that the num ber of obese women who pass is in excess of the slim ones, aud these latter are almost always young. In stores where scales are kept tbey are in such constant use that tbe Hout shoppers slender women seldom weigh themselves stand around in a crowd waiting their turn to use the apparatus, which has to be repaired every few months in consequence ot being continually jumped upon by the lair and fat. Hiding Adipose bj Means of Dress. But not in the stores, restaurants nor, upon the streets can an accurate idea be formed of the ponderosity ot the average American' woman, because when she takes her slow aud heavy footed walks abroad tbe much abused corset braces her up and hauls her inio the smallest endurable point, and the Kind y undivided skirt covers a btilkitude oi kkiu unsuspected by tbe looker on. In the Turkish bath when she stands uncon cealed, save for a solitary sheet, she who inns sheeted into the hot room may read that as k nation we are indeed on the increase. In addition to the ridicule to which corpu lent persons are subjected, there are many minor discomforts to be borne. The heavy load oi flesh to be carried is one of these, the shortness of breath and inability to move quickly are others. Stout women are very "hard" on all articles of clothing, which they can seldom buy ready made. Women are more prone to fall into flesh than men, especially after they reach their lurtietli year. No woman can be strictly beautiful who answers Swift's description of a thin woman, a "skinny bonia, snip and lean;" a certain roundness of outline en hances the beauty of the female form. The d Scully is to preserve the jnste milieu. Forbidden by Law to Get Fat. In men the o:t alluded to "one ounce of superfluous flesh" is detrimental to perlect symmetry. Tne aucieuts uui oulv disliked but derided corpulence, and the Frauks in flicted a fine upon their young men who grew too stout to encircle their waists with a,oana oi a specified length. It also rrn- deitdihem intliginle for military service. J Thus, to become larger than the legal measurement was looked upon as a decline of youth and beauty, therefore, every one tried to squeeze their waists into the regulation baud, and to this custom the French corset is said to owe its origin. The Spartans punished their soldiers for becoming corpuleut and reduced obese children by rigid tasting, understand ing better than we of the nineteenth centary do that fat children cannot withstand disease as well as thin children. The Greeks and Bussians professed the most nrofound con tempt for corpulent persons. At tbe Soman festival of Bacchus great lun was made of the fat Silenus. Tbe physicians of antiquity treated fat as a disease, aqd were at least as skillful in their "reduction" processes ss are the doc tors of the present' day. In addition to em ploying most of our so-called anti-corpulent cures the ancient doctors resorted to bleeding. Not Always Good Xatnred. There are some popular impressions in re gard to the stout which are not supported by facts. One of these impressions is that the corpulent are always good natnred, an other that tbe fat are "fat witted." An excess of adipce tissue causes irritability rather than good nature, having its under lying base in disease. Intellectually tbe fat vary, as in disposition, exactly as tbe lean do. Some of the greatest minds tbe world has ever known have been incor porated in fat bodies. Epaminondas, the great statesman and general, was of such enormous bulk that three people could not encircle him with their arms. Dr. Jpbnson was very stout, and so was Mile. Georges, the -renowned French actress, even in the zenith of berfame, when Napoleon the Great so mnch admired her acting. He, too, became excessively fleshy, especially toward tbe close of his life. The Princess Mathilde, consin of Na poleon III., and a woman of brilliant in tellect, was ponderously stout, a defect she sought to conceal by wearing loose drapery. Jules Janin, the prince of critics, was so lat that his cheeks and chin protruded beyond his beard. Balxac was so large that it was laughingly said that it was a day's exercise to walk around him. Kossiui broke the furniture he sat upon, so great was his weight. The famous Italian singer, Lablache, was charged three fares when he traveled. Fat Men Who Were Brainy. Sydney Smith, thouch fat, could hardly be called fat witted. Eugene Sue grew so stout that, hoping to reduce himself, he drank vinegar to excess. This was ouc of the old time antidotes for corpulence and one most detrimental to the health. Will iam the Conqueror, John Sobieski, ths Polish King, and Ludwig XVIII. of France were all obese men, so was Pliny tbe younger. He inherited his tendency to corpulence from his mother, whose life he saved with difficulty at the destruction of Pompeii, she being too fat to rnn or even to walk fast to bis yacht, which lay in the bay. Among the extremely corpulent of illus trious Bouians .was Antonius, he Consul and friend of Cfcsar, and Caius Marius, the great General and Consul. David Hume, the metaphysician, histo rian and political economist, was unwieldy from excess of adipose tissue. Catherina II. of Bussia became of immense size, with layers of double rolling chins. In this par ticular she resembled "food Queen Anne" of England, who died of obesity. Accord ing to tbe physicians of her time, Anne's grossness of body was caused by her drink ing hot chocolate and milk, sweetened with sugar, every night before sleeping. . Fat Sugar and Get Fat. Nothing fattens one more rapidly than sugar, five ounces of which, eaten daily, it is said, will increase the weight one pound a week. Thi. is a fact for the consideration of the lean who wish to become Stout. Du mas pere and St. Beuve are two more in stancef of fat men, decidedly not fat-witted. The list might be prolonged, but enough examples have been cited to prove that, however enervating to the physical powers obesity may become, it does not necessarily diminish the intellectual activity. Are the fat always good naturedf Tbe old proverb of "laugh and grow lat" would lead us to think so, bnt it is not the obese who laugh so mnch as tbe lean who laugh at them. Their heavy, unwieldy forms, their waddling walk, their shortness of breath, their sufferings from heat and from the slightest fatigue havo from time im memorial been considered legitimate sub jects for mirth and ridicule. Even Srmkr speare in his immortal crea'tion of JafifaJT, says; "I shall think the worse of fat meu." . Celia. Looan. A SAIL 15 A BOTTLE. How to Accomplish What Looks to Be Alto gether Impossible. 21 ew York Herald. This bottle is corked with a wooden stop per like any other bottle, but on tbe inside of it a long nail passes through the bottom of the stopper, so that it is impossible to re move it. Now, how did that nail get there? It could not have been put through tbe cork before closing the bottle, as it is much long er than the mouth of the bottle, and it could not have been introduced after the bottle was closed. First Take a bottle like the one in the picture and cut off very neatly, as shown, about one qpartcrofan inch of tbe'topof the stopper, which should be ot wood. Second Bore a hole longitudinally through the center of the cork with a redhot knitting needle, and stop it abont one-half inch from the bottom, which should project into the bottle about three-quarters ot an inch below the neck. Third At one-half inch above the Dottom of tbe cork bore another hole, large enough to take in tbe nail at-right angles to the first bole as Bhown, then pnsb through the top tole a stout piece of string, so that it will come out at the one end ot the horizontal hole. Take a round wire nail and file a notch in the center, to which the string must be tied, then gum the string and nail and fasten tbe string along the nail to the point and let it dry well. Now we are ready to cork tbe bottle. First, put In the nail fastened to the string as described, and then the cork; then invert the bottle und pull the string until the point of then all enters tbe hole; now pull steadily and the nail will go through the hole nntil it projects art equal distance, ou both sides, and your bottle is tightly corked; then take the piece of wood you cut off at first and glue it carefully upon the top again so that it will hold the string in place, which you must cut off jnst inside the edge. Now, if you cover the cork with ink, or, (till better, sealing wax, it will be impossible to tell how the nail ever got into the bottle. " A Very Interest! nc Family. The Archduchess Alice, wife of the ex Grand Duke i f Tuscany, cave birth to her tenth child on Good Friday a girl so that she has now exactly five i-oys and five girls. Her Imperial Hiirliuen is 41 years of age, and her eldest co.n is 23. Her husband had of King John of Esxony. 11 W 3&t I Sow to Bo thi Trie. COUNTING THE CASH. Delicate Task-Occasioned by Treas urer Huston's Retirement. RECEIPT MK. KEBEKER WILL GIYE. There Was x 6b.orts.ge of $19 When Hr. Hyatt Save Over the Uffice. THANKLESSNES8 OF OFFICE HOLDING tCOBMSrOXDEHCB Or Till DlSrATCH.J , Washington, April 25. In turning over the affairs of the office of Treasurer of the United States to his successor, Hr. Nebeker, Mr. Huston does not free himself Immediately from the responsibilities of office. Tho office is not properly and com pletely delivered until all of (he cash in tbe vaults in the great Treasury building nas been connted and every dollar for which Mr. Huston gave a receipt to his predeces sor, Mr. Hyatt, has been accounted for. Thiscounting will be the work of two or three months, and so it will be midsummer before Mr. Huston is relieved entirely of the responsibility of office. In the mean time Mr. Nebeker will be In charge, and the dailv business of the office will proceed un der his direction. The money in the vaults of the Treasury Department is counted by a committee of three. The retiring Treasurer has the selec tion of one member of tbe committee, the incoming Treasurer the selection of an other, and the Secretary of the Treasury selects the third. All three of the appoint ments are subject to the approval of the Secretary of tne Treasury. Compensation for the Count. The law allows a salary of $6 a day and expenses to the members of this committee; but it is customary to select employes of the department for the work because they are thoroughly familiar with it, and as they are under salary they do not receive the per diem compensation. With the induc tion of tbe new Treasurer In office, the com mltteelakes entire charge, putting a seal on all tbe Vaults and Bafes. On the evening of tbe day when the change is ma'de, tbe cash in the cash room needed for the transaction of the dally business of tbe Government is counted, and until the count of tbe other moneys is completed this account is kept free tram the. other accounts of the office. This cash now amounts to about $1,000, 000. On tbe day following the inaugura tion of the new Treasurer, the committee begins the work of counting the cash. In tbe packages or currency every piece is counted. The counting of the silver is easier. It Is done with the aid of a finely balanced pair of scales. It is in this way that the silver is counted as it is received from the mints or the sub-treasuries. The silver is stored in two vaults.' At present one of them corjfains about $90,000,000, and the other about (60,000,000 in silver. These vaults are steel-lined, and are divided by steel lattice wort into compartments. Weighing the Bags of Silver. The silver is in canvas bags, each con. $1,000. One of these bags is opened.and the pieces of silver are counted. Then the bag and its contents are weighed. Tbe weight is about, 60 pounds. If this bag contains new coin that fact is noted. Then a bag containing old coin is weighed and counted; for ths abrasion received in circulation makes a considerable difference in the weight of a large quantity of coin. The other bags of coin are then weighed. If one of them is found lighter than the standard weight it is thrown aside for examinaiion and later its contents are counted. There are more than 150,000 of these bags of silver coin to be weighed. Stalwart laborers carry them from tbe coin vaults. under the super visiin ot the members of the committee and place them on the big scales. A careful record of their number is kept. In one of tbe two larger vaults of the Treasury is stored more than '26,000,000 in gold coin. It has remained undisturbed for a long time. This will be "counted" in the same way that is, its value will be ascer tained by weight. As I have said, the cur rency will be counted piece by pieoe. The current silver will be counted alio. When the count has been completed a report will be made to tbe Secretary of the Treasury, and, if it appears that there is any shortage, the retiring Treasurer will.be called upon to make it good, Nearly Always a Shortage. For it is not at all unlikely that there will be a shortage in the Treasurer's accounts on tbe face of the committee's return. There was a shortage of $19 in the accounts of Treasurer Hyatt when he turned bis office over to Treasurer Huston. It was found in tho count of the large silver vault. This vault had been counted under the super vision of. Captain Meline, the assistant cashier, and one of tbe oldest employes of tbe department, when it was turned over to Treasurer Hyatt He had charge of tbe vault from the time Mr. Hyatt came into office until he retired. He made the couut when the office was turned over to Mr. Hus ton. When the apparent shortage was found. Captain Meline went to Mr. Hyatt and said that he felt morally bound to make it good. Tbe vault had been under his supervision from the time Mr. Hyatt came into .office, and if there was anything missing he felt that he was responsible for it Accordingly be paid the missing amount into the Treasury cash, and Mr. Huston gave Mr. Hyatt a receipt for the full amount which the report of the committee and tbe books of the Treasurer's office showed to be in the vaults. Where the Money Probably Is. Ho one believes that there was any real shortage. Several coin bags were found broken open, and it was generally thought at the time of tbe committee's report that some of the silver money bad slipped into a crack in the silver vaults or had been over looked in some way. The amount was to small that it was not worth while to have a recount made. Some day this money may come to lieht and an outgoing Treasurer will fiud himself credited with more than he ought to have. It is related of Treasurer Spinner, 'the most famous in the long list ot treasurers of the United States, that on his retirement he demanded a recount because the report of the committee showed that there was a short 'age of a few cents in tbe money in the Treasury. The recount was had, and it made the accounts of Mr. Spinner balance with the' cash on hand to a cent Bnt in. Mr. Spinner's day there was no such ac cumulation of cash as there is in the Treas ury vaults to-day; end although absolute accuracy is especially desirable in the office of the Treasury of the United States, it would hardly pay the Government to make a recount at an expenditure of probably $1,600 to discover an error covering $10 or $20 apparently missing from tbe cash in the Treasury vaults. Some Pretty Ills Beoelpts. Mr. Huston gave Mr. Hyatt a receipt lor $722,182,699 26; of this. $191,657,232 71 was cash in th vaults, $318,539,000 reserve cash, and $211,986,163 55i bonds. Mr. Huston will turn over to Mr. Nebeker about $615,000,000. For the protection of the Government against tbe embezzlement of any of this money entrusted to his charge, Mr. Nebeker gives a bond for $150,000, with securities qualifying in double the amount The Treasurer's bond is ridiculously small, as is tbe Treasurer's salary, by the wav. "It would be a great deal better' laid Treasurer Huston iu conversation with me a few days ago, "if the Treasurer was.' not required to give a bond. The necessity for this bond is an obstacle to a great many men who might fill the office of Treasurer very acceptably; while the bond is not of sufficient size to be any protection to the Government It is not generally known that bonds given to tbe Government are perpetual.- iTho sureties are not released from them when the incumbent retires from j office. If there should be a shortage in the I accoonts of an officer of the United State.! J which was not discovered at the time he re tired, and if that shortage was traced baek to him twenty years aiterward, the men who were oq his bond (or their estates it they were dead) would be responsible for tbe deficiency. It ii not easy to make up a perpetual bond for any large amount." A Nice Way to Get a Bond. Mr. Huston's bond was made up among his townspeople in Connersville, lad. They asked him to let them make the bond, and he did not tee it until it was sent onto Washington approved by the Federal court He did not ask anyone to go on his bond. In fact, he was surprised and gratified shortly after his appointment to receive an offer from a gentleman in Baltimore whom he had never seen, who wished to go on his bond for $10,000, Mr. Huston has since met the gentleman who made this offer, and tbey have become very warm friends. Strangely enough tbe law does not requite any of the employes under Mr. Huston to give bond tohlm, and he is responsible for all of their official acts. There are more than 280 of these employes, all of whom are selected by tbe Oivil Service Commission. The Treasurer has no voice in their selec tion, and "he has np way of knowing any thing abont their responsibility, their hab its or their antecedents. Yet, it one of these employes should embezzle some of Uncle Sara's funds, tbe Treasurer and his bonds men would be held accountable by the Gov ernment Not a Very Desirable Job. "I will say to you what I have said to the President," said Mr. Huston, "thatthere is not a man In the United States competent to fill this office who would accept it if he knew ifs duties, its responsibilities and its rewards. Tbe salary $6,000 is a mere pit tance. Why, there is notn trust or rruaran tee company in the world which, would take all of the salary of th.is office and assume the responsibility of Its incumbent The office 'has grown beyond all expectations' and all provisions of law. The business of the Dis trict of Columbia fh the Treasurer's office is alone 10 times greater to-day than the whole business of the office was before the war. "I came across an old statement not long ago, made in the year 1799 I believe, show ing that the amount of money expended on salaries in the office of the Treasurer oT the United States during three months of that year was $1,106. That included the salary of the Treasurer. The regular increase in the business dt the office from that time was very great, but tbe, increase .immediately following tbe war was enormous. . The law3 regulating and providing for the 'office have not kept pace with, the increase of its busi ness. An Office Governed by Precedent 'For that matter, tbe laws which define the duties of the Treasurer of the United States are very vague. If we followed only what the law requires of us eacb day, we could close the business of tho office in two hours. This office is governed by prece dent For example, there is nothing in the law requiring us to accommodate banks with money of the denominations which they need in exchange for other moneys. Xet we ship out $200,000,060 a year in this way for the accommodation of the banks of the country." Mr. Huston says there is nothing in the office of Treasurer which could be an attrac tion except the honor connected and the prestige it would give to a man who desired to use it as a stepping-stone to a position in tbe financial world. The second is not an attraction to him; and he believes that there is just as much honor in having held the place for six months aqd performed its du ties carefully and conscientiously as in holding it four years. It is not likely that any changes will be made in the Treasurer's office by Mr. Huston's successor. Mr. Whelpley, the efficient Assistant Treasurer, will undoubtedly remain. The Signature on the Bills. The retirement of the Treasurer means a great deal of work for tbe Bureau of En graving and- Printing. All of the plates now used in printing currency will have to be changed, Mr. Huston's name being cut off and the fac simile of the signature of Mr. Kebeker .substituted for it. Captain Meredith, the chief of the bureau, has his engravers at work on Mr.'Nebeker's signa ture now. For some time after Mr. Hnston retires money will still be issued bearing his signature, the date of issue, of course, being after the time when he retired from office. In the early days of General Spinner's term, when the Treasurer of the United States actually signed tbe bonds and notes issued from the Treasury Department, the signature changed with the chance in the office; but to-day the only ink which touches the face of a silver certificate, or a Treasury certificate, or any other form of paper circu lating medium issued by the Government, is printer's ink. And it tak.es much time and a' great deal of care to make the necessary changes in the plates used in tbe printing of securities. Geoboe Gbantham Bain. EEAHIHG T0WEB TOE THE TATR, A Carious Steel Structure After the Matter of Pisa's Wonder. J. B. Holpenny, of Chicago, has submit ted to the directors a plan for a leaning cantilever tower, 225 feet in height and 70 feet square, to be built of steel, weighing 500 tons and costing $500,000. The tower, accord ing to his statemens, will support 100,000 pounds in weight on tbe top story, which will lean 100 feet from the perpendioular. This toner, he claims, could be built in eight months, including the shop work and erec tion. The plan it for the tower to be In the form of a gigantic letter X, of which tbe lower part acts as a foot"" to counteract tbo lean of the superstructure. H? says the framework is of steel truss construction, forming a huge cantilever of enormous strength and rigidity, which combines for npport a substructure of metal. A WAB OVEB BLACK CLOTHE! The Confirmation Suits Make Trouble Among thb Lutherans of Berlin. The fibt between tbe church authorities jnd members of Lutheran congregations who refuse to submit to tbe orthodox order and clothe their girls in, llak lor, the con firmation serviceJed to many squabbles and disputes recently in Berlin. One of the richest members of the old St Hicolia Church, who married a Cathollo woman, went so far as to take his two girls from tbe confirmation class of hjs church and place tbem with the religious authorities of his wife's creed. The case is attracting unusual attention, and the orthodox are roundly abused by almost everybody. A W0MAH AHD.HEE BEUSH. Vilma Parlaghy the Most Voted Portrait Painter ot Germany. , Vilma Parlaghy is at present the most noted portrait painter in Germany, nnd ha received an order for a life-sized portrait of the Empress, though she has excelled so far only in the portraits of men. Her latest likeness of Herr Windthorst is a veritable triumph. It Is now being exhibited in Paris, and the Centiuin party is negotiating for it Aliss-Vilma lor some days past has been engaged at the palace of Count Moltkd, She ii painting tbe old Jb'ield Marshal in uniform, with his breast covered with orders. , ACITYSETON'ED&E. Something Abont Valparaiso, South America's Finest Seaport. IT'S a YAST EH6L1SH COLONY. Women Aet-as Street Car Conduct en 'With Great Satisfaction. THE BEPREBENTATIYES OP UNCLE BiM icoxnxsroitDxwcz or m dis-atoh Valpabaiso, 'March 30. Why these imaginative Spaniards of the early time should have dubbed this spot a "Yale of Paradise" nobody living nowaday! can understand, for there is no vale anywhere in the vicinity, and no Indications! a paradise. Certainly it is the last place on the face of the earth where one would think of locat ing a great city. , Ancient Borne, they tell us, was built upon seven hills; but Valparaiso straggles up a score of tbem, for tbe simple reason that there is not room enough on the narrow Btrip of sand between the rugged heigh' and the sea. The horseshoe curved coast, in its widest part, admits of eight or ten streets, but they extend'only a short distance; in another and longer place there is space for but two streets between the cliffs and the rolling surf. The greater part of the city, however, occupies a, slightly sloping in- THE BAT DP cline, and the oalles (streets) are laid out in regular panares. As the' population In creased, the rocky bills had ' to be made available, and now the town, which runs along shore some three or four miles, ex tends back a- considerable distance. More correctly speaking, it extends skyward, one man's house being built above another's, reached br Jong stairways, winding roads and "lifts" propelled by steam, similar to those in use at Niagara. Like Some Spot In Plttsbnrg. Making neighborly calls on foot in this portion of tbe city is too hard work to be come very popular, while coming down again is positively dangerous when tbe walks happen to be slinpery after a rain. Thus one man's vegetable garden may seem to bang suspended directly over another man's roof; and the latter, by reaching out of his upper windows, might almost help himself to the former's beets and cabbages. A friendof mine, wbo has a honse oppo site tbe. Hotel Colon, set close up to the steep, rocky escarpment, relates an amusing story of bow he heard a terrible commotion one night in the rear ol his bedroom, and having searched in vain for the cause thereof, remained sleepless till daylight, wondering whether it were a visitation of ghosts or burglars. Morning revealed a Bt range but ludicrous sight A horse, which had been seen the day before grazing Eeacefully upon the lawn above, had some ow slipped off in the darkness and stuck fast in the narrow space between the cliff and the back wall of my friend's bouse on tbe terrace next below, where his fruitiest struggles had nearly demolished the clap boards. By dint of lowered ropes, the luckless animal was at length rescued, very little the wjrse for his adventure. Vehicles for Up-mil Travel. There are two kinds of publjo hacks for hire in Valparaiso, and one chooses between tbem according to his destination. If bis excursion is confined to the lower town, he takes an ordinary carriage with two horses attached; but it the hills are to be ascended, he must pay nearly double the price for a heavier built vehicle to which, three horses are harnessed abreast the law forbidding any others to go up. The haphazard paths that were originally laid out by the goats that fed upon tbe mountain sides, meander about in the most confusing manner, but are now abandoned except by pedestrians, 'for all wheels go by tbe splendid new road. winding about the hills, which, has lately been completed a distance of about nine miles. Viewed from the bay, especially of an evening, Valparaiso presents a fine appear ance, with long lines of lights, one above 'another, making it look, as Mr. Curtiss says, like "a city turned up on end." Elec tric lights placed upon the crests of the cliffs throw their rays and intensified shad ows upon the streets and terraces and gar dens below, with the effect.pf moonlight But by "the garish light of day" the rows ot houses and huts, of irregular shapes and elevations, clinging to tbe precipices like so many birds-nests, look as if one stiff breeze would blow tbem off into the bay. Finest Port of tha Continent Mr. Vincent likens Valparaiso to a vast amphitheater, regarding the ridge of the hills as aisles, and is reminded of Hong- Kong by its sloping. position, and of tjuehec by its spurs which terminate iu bluffs at the water's edge. At any rate, despite its nat ural disadvantages, Chilean enterprise, as sisted by English, French and German cap ital, have inadt here a splendid city the finest port in South America, in fact the only one on the Southern continents which can show all modern improvements. It re sembles a rity of France or Germany, or even of the United States, more nearly than it'does any other in this country. But our Northern .Republic has no city with only Valparaiso s population (,120,UUU) which contains so many fine shops and such a dis play of costly and luxurious articles. The foreign element is large and wealthy, the natives proud and prosperous, and, like the nearby capital, the placets famous for the extravagance of Its citizens. Many of the private residences are palaces in their pro portions and adornments, and millionaires are as common here as ten-thousand-dollar people at home. The principal commercial street.called tbe Calle Victoria, stretches afound tbe entire harbor and presents some splendid archi tecture, there having, been considerable rivalry in the matter of elaborately carved facades and other adornments. Electric lights are used In the leading hotels and shoos. The streets have Belgian pavements, and tho sidewalks are smoothly fi.igsed, though some of theiu are so narrow that pedestrians must hug the wjII when a street car passes. Tnere are splendid Churches; parks and plazas, filled with trees and flowers, in tbe midst of which fountains are set, and beautiful statuary in bronze and marble most ol tbe latter, I regret to add, having been stolen'from Peru during there cent war. There is a magnificent theater; clubs as fine at the average in New York or London; picture galleries, pnblio libraries and reading rooms in short, til the ad juncts of modern civilization. AStatne loan Irishman. Spanish-Americans seem to have a pas lion for erecting monuments, to dead heroes, and among several in Valparaiso is one re cently set up op tbe site of the old custom house, to the memory of Mr. Arthur Pratt, u Irishman who figured conspicuously inj ' sUJI) I U jJ3S& Ai. lniVTvT -Sol'TirY' "' iJI If LJi will ?ti fttf7?& that- notable Peru-Chile conflict Pratt seems to have been endowed with an un usual heritage of tbe reckless daring com mon to Emerald islanders. He was tbe La Fayette of Chile, and the people admired him so much that now every town has" a tltll hf him wlitln fltv t- aliAn- ..ltftn. ...... WM.U, ....... '. "1" O-.KUU., opera honses, mines and lotteries are named in his honor, and in this city a fine build ing was demolished In order 'to irect his monument in the most conspicuous place. The principal streets of Valparaiso are traversed by tramways, and the cars are all two-storied "double-deckers," so to speak second-class, passengers climbing up some narrow outside stairs to seats on top, where tbe fare is just half the amount that is charged inside. One pleasant innovation is that when the seats are all taken no more passengers are admitted, nobody being per mitted to stand. However tbe' clouds may ponr, or whatever the, exigencies of the oc casion, you may stand on tbe streets and signal in vain, If the seating capacity is filled not a car will take you on. The con sequence is that in times of unusual crowds, like the Diez-y-ocbo and other.festival days, everybody hies him to the 'starting point and makes a grand rush for the empty cars as they emerge from the stable, greatly to the detriment of dignity and good clothes. Female Street Car Conductors. Another innovation Is the universal em ployment of female conductors. The ex periment of allowing women to serve in this capacity was first tried' by tbe street car managers a few years ago, when the able bodied men had all gone north to whip the Peruvian, and it proved so successful that tbeir retention has become permanent, not only in this city, but all over Chile wherever tramways are in use. At first sight, a young woman with Si bell-punch does not produce a pleasant impression; but one gets used to it in time, as to most other novelties, and VAIPABAISO. soon wonders why the idea has notbeen adopted in other countries. The petticoateM conductors wear a uniform, consisting of a plain blue flannel dress, a man's felt hat and a big white apron, with bib attached, and capacious pockets for holding change and tickets. Eacb has a small leather hand bag Blung over her shoulder, in which she carries the overflow of her pockets, lunch, handkerchief, perhaps a surreptitious powder-puff, and other distinctly feminine be longings. Tbeir salary is $23 per month. Each passenger, after paying hisifare, is given a yellow paper ticket, which be is'expected to destroy. The conductress is charged with a certain number of tickets, and -when she reports again Bt headquarters, must return the money for all that are missing out .of that number, or make up tb'e deficit from her own salary. This plan naturally tends to make tbem attentive to their duties, and also prevents free riding ou the part of their relatives and favorites. Though these women are generally young and often extremely pretty, it should be mentioned to the credit of the Chileans that they are seldom insulted or otherwise annoyed in the discharge of their daily and nightly task. When tbey are disturbed, the rule is to call on the nearest policeman. The latter gentry stand at every corner and would not hesi tate to eject a tronblesome passenger, with out listening to his ,side of the story, or to march " him off to jail under suspicion of drunkenness. A Picture of the Harbor. No more spacious or beautiful harbor can be found on either side of the hemisphere than this of Valparaiso, and throughout most of the year it is safe for shipping ex cept during the two months.when northern gales prevail. Then vessels are sometimes driven from their anohoraga and compelled to cruise about to avoid being dashed in pieces npon tbe rocks ' on which the city is nui. une a ay irom our noiei winaow we watched the progress of a fierce "norther" that set all the ships n-rocking till tbeir mast-tips nearly touched the water and sent mountain high billows rolling liver the es- .planade, away up to the doors of business nouses on tbe Calle victoria. Several pedestrians were washed off into the howl ing sea. and a huge steamer was driven ou tbe rocks, where she yet remains. The harbor is circular iu form, with a mile-wide entrance facing the north. Could a breakwater bo built across the. entrance, it would give perfect protection to shipping tnrougnoui tne entire year, whatever storms might rage outside; but here the sea is so deep (over 100 fathoms), that such a work is not considered practicable. According to local regulations, the vessels in Valparaiso harbor are drawn up in lines, with the pre cision of men-of-war ready for review; and very beautiful tbey loot, either from 'the esplanade or the bill-tops, all swaying to and fro with uniform motion as the billows rise and fall. Uncle Sam's Flag Is Bare. In times of peace the flags of all nations may be seen here, perhaps the rarest of any being that of tbe United States. Since trade in these parts is practically controlled by Englishmen,' inoit commercial transac tions are calculated in pounds sterling, and in business1 circles the English language prevails. The great banking firm of which ex.-Mayor W. B. Grace, of New York, is the head, has a branch house here, also in Lima, Peru, and Santiago, the capital of Chile; and a great deal of business they do. Yet English goods are almost exclusively sold; an English newspaper is published; there is an English church, an English hos pital, English doctors and dentists galore; in fact Valparaiso 'is little more than a great English colon, with a liberal sprinkling of Germans and. Frenchmen, a few Chileans and fewer Americans. The latter infinitesi mal community is just now congratulating itself on the possession of an excellent Con sul a rather rare blessing in this part of the world, I am extremely sorry to say. Colonel McCreery, the Valparaiso Consul, comes from Flint Mich,, and is a Grand Army man, whose name will be readily rec ognized as among the honored veterans of our own "unpleasantness." He is very zealous in all good worts tor the benefit of his countrymen, and is ably assisted by bis son, a young man of 23" years, or there abouts, Some Very Discreditable Appointments. For the credit" of our national character, it is a pity that such judicious appoint ments were not more numerous. There have been' times; not long past even in Valparaiso, as in other important cities of South America when eveay wanderer from tne land of the Stars and Stripes felt like (lrnring his nationality, belnj so, ashamed of the conduct of some of the disreputable rowdies wbo have been fiat down here to misrepresent the home government The American Minister, Mr. Patrick Ea gan. late of Ireland, of course resides in Santiago, His appointment was not hailed 1 with delight by anybody in .Chile.- Tbe Americans were justly indignant because an Irishman was sent to represent the United States, and English people refused" to fraternize with him at all, because of the political reasons that drove him out of Great Britain and prevent his return to the land of his nativity, and it sounds' funny to hear our representative refer to Dublin as "home." FANJIIE B. Wakd. FumriTUEE reupholsterv a specialty. Havoh & Keesait, 33-34 Water street. boI If It's the Eight Sort of Talk It Is Always Profitable. .THE 0BDECH PEOPLE OP C0BIHTH And IHelr Opinions tf fan, ApoIIos and Peter, the Hinlstert. FAITDPDL5EBS THE 0NLI EEAL TEST WmX JOB TH EI3PATCH.1 "It is required, in stewards thata,mau be fonnd faithinl." That was the instruction which St Paul gave to the church people ol Corinth as a guide to them in their conversa tion. People have always, in all places and in all languages, talked about their neighbors. There is no harm in that If tbe talk is untrue or unkind there is harm in it, but the right sort of discussion of our neighbors is probably as profitable a con versation as most people can engage in. What is more naturally and properly inter esting to us than the sayings and doings of a human being? We have always talked, about our neighbors, and we always will. But let us take the more care, then, to talk right ' It seems that in Corlntb, a good while ago, the people,or lack perhaps of .more interesting matters of conversation, had fallen to talking about the minister. There were' three notable ministers with whom the Corinthians were acquainted. One was Paul himself, another was Apollos, the third was Peter. The three wera greatly different each from the other. No one of them was enthusiastically approved ol by all tbe people. Something is probably the matter When everybody approves of the parson. The chances are that be is not do ing bis duty. He 'would be pretty sure, if be were tbe right kind of man, to offend somebody. St. Peter and St Paul them selves" were not able to win universal popu larity in Corinth. Three Aspects of Clerical Ufa. The "people were discussing the clergy. Some were saying that the best minister is he who can preach best These preferred Apollos, who was eloquent Others, said. No, the best minister is he who gives the most time and care to pastoral work, who goes in and out among his neopleand makes the largest number of parish visits. These preferred Paul. There was still another party who carei most for tbe clergyman's attention to forms and ceremonies. They were chiefly concerned that all things should be done "decently and in order." They were close observers of clerical manners in the conduct of the Bervice. Noticed whether the minister turned toward tbe east or toward the west and were critical as to tha cut and color of his garments. Tbey loved reverence. These held that better than Apollos, better than Paul, was Cephas; that is, Peter. It is notable that these three Corinthian ministers represented the three aspects of the clerical life. One was a preacher, another was a pastor, and the third wxa a priest St Paul says you are making mistakes, good people, in yonr estimate of us. There is only one test which determines the 'real value of a man's service, and that Is the test of faithfulness. Let a man account of us, he says, as of the ministers of Christ and stewards of the mysteries of God. But these two titles, "minister" and "steward," are evidently svnonymons with servant You forget, says the apostle, you who are so critically discussing our( merits, that we are nothing but servants, come to bring a mes sage from our Master. You are not to think about us, one way or the other; we are mak ing a dreadful mistake if we are in any way encouraging y'ou to think about us. You are to think about the message and the Master. 'We are only Christ's servants, whom He has sent on an errand to you. We are only God's stewards, bringing you gifts from the King. Those people who waited for St Peter in the house of Corne lius had the right idea about it: "Now are we all here present before God to hear all things that are commanded thee of God." All. they wanted was the message. John theZSaptlst's Idea. St. John tbe Baptist had the true Idea about it The people nocked out to hear him, and they questioned him about himself. Art thou the Christ? No. What then, art thou Elias? I am nqt Or "that prophet?" and he answered No. And when they urged him, saying. Who art thou, then? What sayest thou of tbyseli? he declined to say anything about nimseir, out replied, l am a voice. I am tbe bearer of a mesaige. .1 come on an errand. Who am I? that is no matter at all. Listen to the words which my Master told me to repeat to you. That ministry is afailnre which persuades men to admire, to praise and to love the Lord's servant so much that they forget the Lorjl himself. That sermon is a failure, after which the people think so much about tbe preacher what a good speaker he is, and bow wise, and how gracelul that they do not think about the message. The min ister is a servant and the sermon is a mes sage, and the only true test of either. Is the test, as St Paul says, of faithfulness. Is. tbe servant faithfnl to his master? Is the message faithfully delivered? To be able honestly and accurately to say yes to these questions is to say the best that anybody can possibly say about the sermon and the minister. Indeed, Is there anything better that can be said in commendation of any man? Isn't there a word here which touches all of us, and concerns you u much as it does me? We are all stewards. The parable of the talents was spoken abont us all. We have all something which God has entrusted to our keeping. All that we have and are Is, indeed, trust which God has committed to us! And if we are faithful whit more can even God ask of us? And what less will God ask of us, than to be faithful? It is required in stewards that a man be found faithful. What is it to be faithful? Evi dently it is not enough that we be consid ered faithful by other people. St Paul set no value at all Upon the Popular Opinion 'of his faithfulness. He even went so far as to say that he did not care what the people of Corinth, or of anywhere else, thought about him. Not that be did not value tbe good opinion of his neighbors. No good man is willing lightly to set that aside. Everybody wants to lie well thought of, to be appreciated, to be loved. What St Paul meant was thit all the appreciation and com mendation and. approval and love in the world could not prove that he was really faithful. So "with me," he said, "it is a very small thing that I should be judged ef you, or ot man's judgment" Consider what- faithfulness Is. It Is sim ply the rig lit relation between what we do and what we can do. Who is able to sa'y exactly what we can do? Indeed, who is there that knows fully what we do or leave undone? More than that, faithfulness de pends upon motive. Is he a faithiul servant who does all that he can do, but does it for his own sake, not really for tbe service of his Master? However it may be in the world's service, In our kind of ministry the motive makes the greatest possible differ ence. A man may speak with the tongue of an angel, and may understand all mys teries and all knowledge, and may give all his goods to feed the poor, and may give himself in tbe sacrifice of martyrdom, his body burned, and yet be disloyal and with out the loye of his Master and his Master's service may yet be unfaithful. Hen may see us very busy in tbe Lord's work, but they cannpt surely tell our motive. It may be 'love of approbation, desire (or reputa tion, lust of position, not love of God, which urges us. Who can pronounce upon mo tive? It would be well in the midst of our easy judqmems and our confident verdicts to keep in mind these real difficulties which lie in the way of the perfect understanding of any man by his neighbors. Distrusted ttis own estimate. jJToj we ate net faithful baBM other peojj pie think we are. And we will do well if we go on from that conclusion to another and confess that-we are not always really faithful when we are deemed so byourselves. We are still following St Paul. St Paul was not content to accept his own verdict upon his own faithfulness. "X know noth ing by myself," he says, or as we wonld put' it in present-day English, "against myself." "I know nothing against myself, yet am I not hereby justified." St Paul doubted his own judgment No man ever knew himself better. And yet he doubted the sufficiency and the accuracy of bis qwu self-knowledge. We, wbo really know so little about our selves, with what emphasis may we echo his word s I W.e are to'distrust our own estimate of our own faithfulness, ' Ths truth is we habitually deceive our- V. selves. We are unconscions of some of our most conspicuous faults. To see ourselves as others sea us would be a revelation ot new, and probably unfla'tering, truth. There is many a man whose neighbors know him better than he knows bimielt Self ignorance and self-love are forever persuad ing us to tell ourselves lies abont ourselves. You remember how indignant David wat against the man whom Nathan reported t him as having stolen his poor neighbor's one lamb; and bow amazed be was when the prophet said, "Thou art the maul" Yoa know what estimate the Pharisees setnpoa tnemseives. unev tnantced (iod that tbey were a thousand times better than the pub licans. And all tbe people in the street agreed with them. They had not a thought but that their valuation was tbe trie one. But you remember how there came one day a man who looked at tbe Pharisees out of the searching eyes of absolute truth. And Ob, what miserable, mistaken, poverty stricken, mean hypocrites they really werel David and- Calaphas are not exceptions. On the contrary, they are but Illustrations of a great, universal rule, that everybody thinks ot himself more highly than ha ought to think, that no saint, even, can be trusted to tell himself, even in his most secret meditations, tbe real truth about himself. "I know nothing against myself," sayx the wise apostle, "yet am I not hereby justified." Better Not Judge at All. Themoralwbich the Apostle gathers out of these two immense obstacles of ignorance which lie in the way oi the accurate judg ment of any man by bis neighbors is that the belt plan is not to judge at all, "there lore judge nothing before the time, until the Lord come, who will both bring to light tbe hidden things of darkness, and will make manifest the counsels of the hearts, and then shall every man have praise of God." It is plain enough where Paul learned that. He learned it from Him who said "Judge not" He learned it from Him who came here, wifh perfect knowledge of human nature, to bring tha spirit of brother hood into human life. Christ knew, and we know ourselves, that nothing hinders brotherhood more seriously than un brotherly speech. Nothing keeps men far ther apart than unkind judgment There is nothing more unchristian tnan unchar itable comment There are few better resolntions that a Christian can make than, to say. To-day and to-morrow, and tbe day after, anyhow, I will not say a hard word about anybody. I will not Join in any conversation which is occupied in throwing stones at anybody's back. Indeed, I will show my disapproval. No smile shall come upon ssy lips at any jest wbioh is made at the expense of my neighbor's character. On 'Monday and Tuesday and Wednesday of this week I will make it my business to 'say whatever good thing I can about everybody who is evil spoken of within my hearing. Don't you know that if we were all to follow that resolution from this day to the middle of this week 'there i would be sun shine in plenty in many, many hearts, and all sorts .of pleasant words and kind deeds growing In it? And wh'en Wednesday came and we could say: Since Sunday noon I haven't said a mean thing about even the meanest parson I know, nor let anybody else say mean things with my ap probationdon't you thins: that we would carry on that Cbrittian living into Thurs day, and then into Friday, and then into next month, and then into heaven? Be cause then heaven would not be some hazy and unimaginable place on tbe other side of death, but would be discovered right down here beneath the smoke of Pittsburg. O, what a discovery to discover heaven! There Is ferns One Judge. There is only One who oan judge mea Justly and make no mistake about it, and distribute- praise and blame in absolutely impartial portions. And that One, as St. Paul says, is tbe Lord. Soma peoole at Corinth flittered Panl. They said, "We are of Paul," and they cared more to be on Paul's side than to be on Christ's side. Other people at Corinth censured him. They said thst he could write very good letters when he was absent Irom them, but that his bodily presence was weak and his speech contemptible. He bad neither good looks nor eloquence. "But He that judgeth me'" said tbe Apostle, I'He for whose judgment I care anytnlng, is the J.ord. It is required In stewards that a man be found faithful, and ha that judgeth is the Lord. Nobody else can. What a blessed thing it Is that tbe Lord's test is our laithlulness. Beaause that puts us all on the same level. Some of us have more money, some oi us more wisdom, soma of us more health and strength, soma of us more cbanee than others. But you remem ber the definition of faithfulness that it is a perfect balance between what a man does and what he oan do. He who can do little and yet does that little has praise of God. He who does a hundred times as much, and yet could do two hundred times as much, gets just so much less praise of God. Ths poor man can do God jnst'as valuable service as the rich man. For God's test of a man's worth is faithfulness. "Thou hast been faithiul in a (tw things" yoa know what a blessing came to him who received that commendation from his master. "He that is faithiul in that which is least is faithful also in much." GeobqeHodqes. T2ICX3 WITH SMOKE. A Simple Experiment as to a Tct in xTarnrsJ Philosophy. Put in the top of a light, shallow paste board box two holes, each about aa inch in diameter, and place over each an argand lamp chimney. In one hole stand a candle cat to such a length that it will project about halt an inch above tbe box. Light tbe candle and then hold burning "touch-paper" over the other lamp chimney. Tbe smoke, instead of rising, "will go down on chimney, and, after it has filled tha box, will rise through the other. The reason, Is thatthn burning eandle makes draught up its chimney, and, if the box is air tight, to supply the place of what is going out, air mnst come down the other chimney. 'Touch paper, by the way, is made by dipplag ungluzel paperin asolution of salt petre. When dry it burns with a smoke, but not with flame. Another experiment is to hold the hand tightly over the chimney where the draught is downward. The ean dle in the otber chimney will begin to bnra feebly and smoke, and will go out if there are no cracks in the box for .air to get la. Tbe reason air does not get to It down its own chimney is that the upward draught there is too strong. Spring Songs, and Signs. The poets all sing How welcome Is sprlpg. But their songs are'lncllned to deceive. For I notice each year. When spring arrives here. , That tbe tree- and tbe bushes all leave, " ' -yiorton ifsrattj rrzijb i
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