mm m m X THE PITTSBUftGF DISPATCH MONDAY, "FEBRUARY 23, 189L SuflSHH IjeBigpaftfi. ESTABLISHED FEBRUARY 8, IS4S, Vcl. . So. 16. Entered at Pittsburg Fostoalce, November It 15S7, as second-class nutter. Business Office Corner Smithfleld ad Diamond Streets. News Rooms and Publishing House 75, 77 and 79 Diamond Street EASTERN ADVERTISING OFFICE. ROOM M, TRIBUNE BUILDING, KEW YORK, -when complete flies or THE DISPATCH can always be found. Foreign advertisers appreciate the con venience. Home advertisers and friends or THE DISPATCH. -KtiUe In Kev York, are alio bade Velcome. THE DISPATCH it regularly on tale at Jlrtntano's, S Union Square. Jfew York, and It Jive de V Opera, Paris, France, where anyone tcho has been disappointed at a hotel news stand can obtain it. TERMS OF THE DISPATCH. VOSTAGE FREE IN THE UXTTEt STATES. DAILT Dispatch. One Year S s 00 DaILT DiFrATcn. Per Quarter 2W Daily Dispatch, One Month "" Daily Dispatch, Including fcunday, 1 year. 10 00 Daily dispatch, Including Sunday.Sm'ths Sto Daily Dispatch, including fcunday. lm'th 90 MJNDAY DIsrATCH, One Year 150 "Weekly Dispatch, One Year. 1S5 The Daily Dispatch Is delivered by carriers at Slcents per ireek, or Including Sunday edition, at It cents per week. PITTSBURG, MONDAY, FER 23..1881, DISARMAMENT OK WAR According to our cable dispatches, Europe is on tbe Tergeot new international develop ments which will change tbe present aspect of affairs to a radical degree. The exact result of tbe new changes is in some doubt, according to rumor, but it is settled by tbat reliable authority that it will be cither universal peace and disarmament, or uni versal war and desolation. More precisely stated, tbe report is that the fall of Cnspi, tbe differences between the German Em peror and Bismarck, tbe visit of tbe dowager Empress Victoria of Germany to Paris and the coming conference between the German and Austrian Emperors are the surface de velopments of the tendency toward the dis solution of the Triple Alliance and tbe formation of new combinations which may produce either of the above stated results. There are certain gaps in this theory, the most important of which is that the over tures of the German Emperor toward Prance sre brought into close juxtaposition with an alliance of the Northern Powers to force the European Republic into disarmament, even tif tbeybave to fight for it Tbe tact is ' that the youngest of the Emperors , has heretofore made tentative efforts ! to conciliate France, which may now be re- sewed with exceeding vigor, since the fall . ine away of Italy from the Triple Alliance. 2t is also well known that the same poten tate has a strong desire to immortalize his reign by leading in the work of general dis armament The practicability of that pol . icy is the subject of much doubt, but it is unquestionably a higher aim than Bis- jnarck's stubbsrn devotion to the condition ' of armed truce which be established in ; Europe years ago. ! Tbat the policy of disarmament may have ' the eflect of plunging Europe into war seems somewhat Hibernian. But if that ! paradox were to be produced in its most de structive form, it may be questioned whether it would not be a relief on tbe present state of affairs. For twenty years the people of . Europe have suffered under the burden of j immense and constantly increasing military establishments, kept on foot solely by inter- ' national jealousies. Every effort to settle the long-standing disputes has only called for more onerous taxation, a larger with drawal of men from productive industry, and a firmer fixture of tbe military burden on the populace. If Europe had foucht all . disputes to a finish in the '70's the condi tion of the people might have been better to-day. Certainly a policy which aims at , the termination of this state of affairs can i be welcomed on the ground that almost any ! change it may bring will be a relief. The impartial elements of civilization will ' approve the desire of tbe Emperor "William to bring about a reduction of tbe military ! burdens of Europe, Eren if his efforts lead to the incongruous result of war, he will , have the satisfaction of knowing that he is fighting in a good cause. TALMAGK AGAINST GAMBLING. The sermon on gambling by Eev. Dr. Tal yaage, which is reported elsewhere in this , isiue, attacks one of tbe gigantic evils of the day. It is satisfactory to note that in at tacking this evil that energetic clergyman does not restrict bis denunciation to the forms of gambling which are generally rec , cgnized as vicious, but places under that lliead all methods of trying to get the money I of others without rendering an equivalent ' for it Tbat is the essence of gambling, and it takes in a great many things besides cards or horse races. Upon that basis Dr. Talmage is leveling his pulpit shafts at -a prevalent wrong, and the most severe at tacks which he can make on it are none too J strong. The highest function of the pulpit is to expose the great immoralities of soci ety and to rally the forces of Christianity 'for their suppression. THE BALLOT REFORM BILL. Some intimations have been recently ''made in the State press that tbe ballot reform bill is slumbering peacefully in the committee rooms at Harrisburg, and that its sleep is not likely to be disturbed. As the measure is one which received tbe indorsement of both parties in the last State campaign, that view of the case is not un natural. Tbe practice of indorsing measures like railroad regulation and ballot reform in the party platforms and then letting them die a natural death in the Legislature is well established by the political precedents of this State. A circular of the Pennsylvania Ballot Be iorm Association, issued on Saturday, gives a rather more hopelul view of the case. The bill introduced by Mr. Baker in the House was reported by the Judiciary General Com mittee on January 23, to give it a place on the calendar, and it now stands at the head. It was recommitted on January 23, and 'after argument in its favor before the whole committee was sent to a special committee. It is hoped by gentlemen of the Ballot Re form Association that the special committee will report it this week. But the bill has still to run the chances of all the tactics of delay by tbe practira! politicians. There can be no doubt tbat if the indorse ment of ballot reform by the parties were sincere, this bill would be passed without further delay than is needed to perfect its pro vision. It reaches tbe essential needs of ballot reform by securing legal equality of party and independent nominations; free printing of uniform ballots; secret marking of the ballots in the voting room; a public or ,'aemi-public counting of the ballots; secresy of the vote except when necessary to identify 'the numbered ballots by judicial authority to settle contests. Tbe Ballot Reform As m sociation also urges a popular Indorsement of Mr. Baker's restricting election expenses and requiring statements of them to bailed. It is to be hoped that the Legislature will take up these bills and fulfil the party pledges by passing them promptly. But if they do not in their course through the two branches strike some unsuspected rocks a large number of people will be happily dis appointed and a smaller but more influential number of politicians will experience the unhappy kind of disappointment. THE HIGHWAY APPROPRIATION. The proposition in the pending bill be fore the Legislature, to appropriate $1,000, 000 from tbe State Treasury, seems to have given the project of road improvement a temporary pause. Everyone was ready to give an enthusiastic assent to the desira bility of better roads in the abstract. There is no doubt that a system of roads which would make hauling practicable at all times of the year and would enable the mo tive power of the farmers to accomplish twice as much, would be an immense addi tion to the wealth of the State. These things are all conceded; but when it comes to an appropriation from the State Treasury to secure the actual improvement of the roads, objections are at once heard from numerous quarters. It is a singular feature of tbe objection, too, that it comes from the quarters which would receive the most direct benefit. The conntry members, in whose districts the roads will be built and whose constituents will be most directly benefited, draw back with a sort of instinc tive ierror at the idea of a sin gle appropriation of that size. Some of the city members have expressed the same feeling; but public opinion of tbe large cities which will pay a large share of the money, as expressed in the newspapers, is decidedly willing to bear that burden for the sake of the indirect benefit which they will secure. This will materialize lor trad at large in the shape of a more steady move ment of traffic and a more even distribution of freight movements when the combined necessities of bad roads in winter and farm work in spring, summer and autumn do not force the farming interests to compress their trading within on or two brief seasons of a few weeks each year. The fact is that the proposed appropria tion is one tbat manifestly should be made. Criticisms may be offered and amendments may bemade, to secure additional guaran tees that all the State funds shall go into the construction of permanent highways; but there is no doubt that the sum is one which the State can well afford to invest in that form, and on which the return will be well worth the investment It is worth while to remember in discussing such questions that improvements o thjs class, honestly carried out, are among the best investments possible far the funds of the public It is when expendi tures on public works are dishonestly and wastefully made that the money is thrown away. The legislators should make it their duty to see that the utmost safeguards are thrown about the granting of this appropri ation, so tbat the State shall get value re ceived for its money in the shape of durable and permanent highways. When that is done the appropriation is one tberesults of which will commend themselves to the peo ple. Even if it should require a decimal addi tion to the present percentage of State taxa tion, the State can well afford to do it on a plan which will secure tbe constrnction of a thousand miles or more of first-class high ways within the State. A BOOK OF BARGAINS. There is instruction and amusement in the development of the political fight in. New Hampshire, that is furnished by the publication on Senator Chandler's part of what he calls the "Book of Bargains." These bargains are represented as between "Jones, Sinclair & Co., Brewers and Rail road Jobbers, parties of the first part, and G. G. & Co., Mercenary Republicans, parties of tbe second part" They are intro duced by a couple of specimen acts of choice railroad and stock watering legislation, and run through a number of alleged deals on politics, corporate legislation, repeal of tbe prohibitory law, to the total of twelve bar gains. That these bargains may have been made, without the advice and consent of Senator Chandler, is quite probable, but considering that the introductory acts in which the worst of these jobs are rooted, were passed by Legislatures in which Sena tor Chandler's power was undisputed, it is remarkable that he should tell the world of it The New Hampshire squabble appears to be the latest verification of the proverb that when a certain class falls out, honest people are likely to gain by it THE SIOUX COMPLAINT. There have been hopes that the gentle savage was learning the arts of civilization. The display of sharpness in land deals; a keenness at the great republican diversion of draw poker, which would permit some of the noble aborigines to stand pat in the pres ence of Colonel Bill Brown, of lew York, or the Hon. Boyd "Winchester, of Ken tucky, and an earnest appetite for appropri ations have been the grounds for expecting that tbe national wards would forsake the tomahawk and scalping-knife for the arts of science and civilization. But tbe expres sions of dissatisfaction to which the Sioux chiefs have given utterance on their" retnrn from "Washington destroy the expectation that they will be able to master the true in wardness of our democratic system. These simple savages complain that they were taken to "Washington only to hear talk, and that, as they go back with nothing more than promises, their people will laugh at them and call them old men. It is true that if promises would supply the Indian com missariat, the Sioux tribes would long ago have suffered the ailments incident on too high living, and that they might reasonably wish a variation on that airy diet But that they shonld esteem themselves entitled to complain because they are liberally sup plied with promises, proves that they are unable or unwilling to perceive that prin cipal feature of tbe art of civilized politics, which consists in a profusion of promises and a paucity of performance. If they had properly understood this point, we can hardly believe that the Sioux leaders would have set ud a claim of superiority to their white brethren, who have become so accus tomed to receiving "liberal promises in the political line that they never think of grumbling over the minor consideration that the promises are not fulfilled. The wide discrepancy between what is promised and what is done in our politics, has long been a subject of interest for ab stract consideration, but is rarely made a subject for complaint. The practical politi cian who, alter setting primaries, conven tions and other things, sees the promised first-class consulate dwindle into a messen ger's position at tbe Treasury Department, considers himself entitled to do some specific grumbling when he does not get the mes senger's place. But the average citizen accept the failure of parties to do what they promised for the public benefit, as a part of the common lot of humanity. A party may pledge itself to enforce and extend civil service reform or railroad regulation through a long succession of platforms; and its failure to do so will only be thought worthy of mention merely to temper too sanguine expectations tbat because other promises are made in tbe platforms, the promised reforms will be established. Our Sioux friends should be instructed that one of the first principles of party gov ernment is that people can have all the promises they want, with tbe reserved un derstanding that this liberality is to com pensate for the fact that they get nothing else. The principle may not increase the savage admiration for civilization; but it will forestall severe disappointment when they-learn all about our social system by ex perience. During the remaining eight working days oi Congress jobs and appropriations will hustle each other In the universal effort to secure passage. If the appropriations are as skillfully handled as the jobs It will be an 'im provement on former precedents. Speaker Reed's retort to Mr. Springer that while the latter might abuse him from tbe floor, be wonld never be able to do so from tbe Speaker's chair, is not especially happy. It is a new adaptation of the old retort when his an tagonist said he would rather be right than be President, and Mr. Reed replied: "You .will never be either." The last reply is less effect ive, as it cogently suggests the Speaker's con viction that he retains a monopoly of using the Spoaker's chair for abusive purposes. Toungstown wants to try government by a non-partisan commission. This wish seems to be based on tbe opinion that if any thing could be worse than a partisan municipal government Youngstown would like to find it out Sir John Macdonald and Sir Charles Tupper warn tbe American Government that if it "shall lay a linger on Canada" it will have to deal with Great Britain. Dear, dearl Who has been contemplating using his lingers in that unjustifiable way? After this retaliation for tail-twisting, onr nation will exercise due care against leaving any finger-marks on the Dominion. Dr. Felix Adler says that "the first for a man to do is to become the owner of bis own soul." Dr. Adler is another of those med dling, dreamy mugwumps who would make practical politics impossible. An order which recognises the dignity in the 'title of "American Mechanics" ought not complain if its members are taken at their word. Yet they ao say that some of tbe mem bers of those lodges who attended a sermon preached to them yesterday are asserting that the address of the clergyman as if they were ordinary workingmen did not apply to them at all. From the Southside the call now comes for more policemen. The demand for the municipal guardians from all quarters of the city onght to be regarded as testimonial to the force. These reports that Cleveland is not a candidate and tbat Whitney will fall heir to his boom, together with tbe donials, are alleged by tbe organs of tbe opposition ro be mere feelers. But whether they are feelers in the interest of Cleveland or of Whitney Is a point on which our cotemporaries leave us in the bonds of doubt and ignorance. As to the Delaware peach crop, those prolific orchards are now yielding the regu lation late winter crop of chestnuts about the killing of the moie desirable fruit It is pertinent in connection with the tunnel horror at New York to note tbat the train on which people were burned belonged to a corporation which has refused to obey the New York law against the car stoves. Tbe liti gation is still pending; bnt the car stoves con tinue to burn helpless people to death. February's cold waves are so iar of that very mild variety which only freeze out the weather prophets who predicted a month. of blizzards. The ice-dealers oi Toledo have petitioned Congress for a tariff dnty on ice. This is in the nature of an assurance that the ice crop is not a failure. The ice barons mnst have some ice when they are so anxious to protect against the panper productions of Jack Frost in other countries. THE UPPER CRUST. TJp to the day of his death Victor Hugo disdained snectacli s. Prof. Koch has a cousin in Manchester, Mich,, who is a brews-. The King of Spain is a very strong boy, ugly, but bright and good tempered. Leo XIIL is no advocate for ventilation, and will never allow an open window where he is. The Empress of Austria, who suffers much from rheumatism, has a lady doctor in attendance. Miss Aimee Rapin is an armless Swiss artist who Is beginning to achieve fame. She paints with her toes. Allan Arthur, son of ex-President Arthur, is cutting a dash in London, where he can be seen ever? day driving a four-in-hand. Charles Foster, the new Secretary of the Treasury, is a millionaire and a stock holder in the Standard Oil Company. He made his start as a drygoods merchant. Senator-elect Hill wants a famous seat In the Senate. He has applied for the chair which Wade Hampton will vacate next month In Washington. They say that General Sherman and GeneralJohnston entered into an agreement soon after the war that tbe survivor of them should serve as a pallbearer at the other's funeral. Mrs. Sarah Paeker, an American, has gone to Algiers to fonnd a branch of the Marriage Law Reform Association. When she has finished her work in Africa she pro poses to go to France and establish one in Paris. Mrs. Kate Smith, "the Queen of the Census Office," is now an active chief f divi sion, in charge ot the work of collecting data on mortgages on homes and farms. She Is the only woman chief of division In the Govern ment service, and her salary is 51,600 a year. General Joseph E. Johnston has a record as a pallb earer that is unparalleled. Be sides acting at the funerals of a number of fa mous Confederate chieftains, he and General Sherman rode side by side at the funeral ot General Grant. General Johnston is now 82 years of age, and since the war probably no other Confederate general has enjoyed tbe friendship and esteem of so many Union offi cers of rank. It is a singular fact that great men sel dom leave direct descendants Wellington, Washington and Carlyle all being instances. Shakespeare left only two danghters. whose children died without issue. Probably tbe nearest relative to the great man now living is Thomas Hart, a resident of Australia, who is Said to be the eighth in descent from Shakes peare's sister Joan. Walter Scott's line ended with the second or third generation. DEATHS OP A DAT. Charles W. Rosslter. ' Charles W. Rossiter, who died on Satur daynlghtof consumption at tbe early age of 33 .years, was one of the best known bookkeepers in the city. He was 13 years with Jones & McLaugh lins, and latterly iu the employment of James B. Scott Co. He was of unnually stej.dy habits, and highly respected by a wide circle 01'acqnalnt ances and many friends The services will be held this arternoon at the Shady Avenue Baptist Cbnrch. Eliza J. Nisbet Eliza J. Nisbet, sister of William "W. Nisbet. the well-known druggist of Allentown, died at her residence, No. 77 Washington avenue. Thirty-flrst ward, yesterday morning. Services will be held this evening at 7;30p. 5. The Interment will take place at Freeport tomorrow. SNAP SrfOTSjN SEASON. It's the height of folly to drag a poor man into court for debt. 'He's not wortn a sou, you know. "Wild flowers in the woods within the city limits on Washington's birthday! Verily they may be said to have been Dorn to celebrate the birth of the heart-enthroned Father of their Conntry. Yes. and more than that To brighten the eyes and gladden the heart of the finder of the "first wild flowers," and to similarly thrill, as the first impulse of Spring always does, every healthful and nature-loving heart These flowers were found by a friend of mine yesterday, as be was rambling through Panther Hollow in Scbeuley Park. It was a lovely branch of tbe Hepatlca or Liver Leaf. They were growing on a southern exposure. Tbe flower stems bad deftly pushed through their light brown blanketing "of last year's leaves, and raised their nodding heads fnll three Inches high in the glad sunshine. How often it seems as if "A man's best things are nearest him; Lie close about his feet. " May we not glean many a sweet thought from nature's blossomings? If fortune is to be found at the ends of the rainbow, what need to go to the ends of the earth for it? There Is the old phrase: "Give me the woods and a day and I will make the pomp of emperors ridicu lous." These flowers in tho people's park may be said to grow at nobody's cost and for every body's comfort and they are a property clean of tears. Let the emperors parcel out" all ot Europe. You and I can be happier than they, I ween. If in a morning In spring we have bnt a share in the song-sparrow's melody, and to gether divide the buds and flowers, and carry home a memory of the landscape which not even a king can own. There is an old proverb which says: 'lf you catch a falling leaf you will have twelve months of continued happi ness." Ahl there are countless opportunities all about us for grasping happy chances,, which we forfeit by running so continuously in life's ruts instead of afield now and then. The love of nature and the country is one of the truest pleasures of childhood. It is also one of the most mature expressions of the human mind. Thus, as Sir Thomas Browne would say: "The tall of the snake finds the mouth and the circle is com pleted." By the side of these flowers was an old stick, along whose mossy length were tbe marvelonsly brilliant scarlet cups of a fungus growth. "Within js many Inches away was the dainty and rare walking-fern, with its living green. Is the mystery of the Trinity itself any more wonderfnl than the mystery of the pro cess by virtue of which from that same soil and air these organisms extracted and put upon themselves their various colored vestments of white and blue, green and scarlet? As surely as tho soul and body of things harmonizes, as surely a "blighted spring makes a barren year." Out in the fields nature Is weaving-a carpet for the feet of Spring, twining a garland for her brow, knitting a mantle that will withstand the whistling winds of March. Soon the sunshiny April showers will fill the sweet-lipped mouths of the flowers, whose fragrance will scent tbe mellow air, through which the birds will whirl on flashing wing and sing the same songs they sang before the snow the same songs tbey sang over the world when tbe Maker said '"Tis finished." The uninitiated wonder how stage lovers ward off painter's colic This is the day when bank clerks get paid for sizing up tbe deposits along the river banks. The tighter you pull the corset string, girls, the looser grows your grip on life. "We are said to be made of clay, and it's all right to call some of us bricks. White Caps can't scare our legislators. They see them on tbe beer every night at Rues'. It costs less to trim a ship than to trim an Easter bonnet Puo Fitzsimmons says alcohol will harden the face. This accounts for the hard cheek of the impecunious tippler. Dyspeptic people have a hungry look in their eyes, which comes of looking for a lost appetite. It does not require a flood to turn a sewer into a river. Barnum could make a bit by securing the North Pole for his big tent If some aspiring actress should ever essay the role of Eve she would have to train a snake to talk. Speaker Reed will know what "hoist by his own petard" means when the next Con gress gets down to play. You can read a woman's age between the lines on her face. Joseph was the first man who ever played Pharaoh. Coquettes should remember that age and lost love transform little witches Into old bags. Fruit is Chairman of the Appropriation Committee at Harrisburg. If he's a pear he may pare down the donations. No wonder New York's census is crooked. Crooks were among the enumerators. Rhode Island has sent a Page to Con gress. He'll not do page duty, however. Contentment is the best form devel oper, but because it Is not patented the girls ignore it. The drum beat always carries a good rolL A case of champagne frequently leads to a cause celebre. A stage curiosity The pure play of the long ago. Congress is continually getting down to business, but never catches up to it Beware of the soft-soaper. He depends on a lie for bis strength. Judging from the rottenness in some quarters of the world, this is an' over-ripe age. Shear nonsense Trying to palm off a pirated encyclopedia edlted'with the scissors on a patient public Sparks as well as sparkers have to be arrested occasionally. The Senate has passed 145 private pen sion bills, but not a single public measure. Thus is It demonstrated that a pnbllo office is a private snap. The high collars on the shoulder capes worn by women put the back hair out of sight. Thanks to cards and Cupid, the English aristocracy is furnishing some highly-seasoned scandals. Whip and gun stocks cannot be success fully watered at all events. It's awful hard to tell what the cross-eyed man with the hammer Is driving at Perhaps music would not intoxicate if the bars were removed. It seems odd tbat foreign born girls should make tho best domestics. Newspaper liars are just as mean and dangerous as tbe common everyday article. Women persist In violating the laws of beauty in the vain hope of securing it The baseball pitcher is frequently a growler. The English Lord who turned on thej light in the dark passage at WestmlnsterstrncK a love match. The hardest thing for an inebriated in dividual to find Is a keyhole. Why is an artist's model like a hard conumdruni? Because it's a poser. The newspaper printed on the heaviest paper has the lightest circulation. According to Cleveland,. Grover is in it Willie .Wbxkle. OUR MAIL POUCH. The Bardlck BUI Hearing. To the Editor of The Dispatch: I have no doubt, from your fair news reports and editorial treatment tbat yon mean to deal justly with the Burdickblll and the action of the Legislature upon it I therefore call yonr attention to an error into which you have evi dently been misled. You indicate In your edi torial of this (Saturday) morning that the ad vocates of tbe bill were not given a full chance to reply to tbe arguments of Mr. Archbold and others against It This is exactly the contrary of the facts. The committee not only cave a full hearing to tbe advocates of the bill before, but on Thursday, the day of final hearing, tuey bad not only the first opportunity to speak, without limit as to time, but after Archbold and all other oppo nents of the bill bad spoken, the advocates bad the last word, without limit as to time. As a matter of fact ex-senators Lee and Emery did close tbe argument before the committee, in elab orate speeches, running through several hours. That tbey did not sneceed in refuting the facts advanced by the other side, nor make it clear that any public Interest was to be served by the passage of the bill, is certainly not the fault of the committee, which allowed unlim ited and open liberty of debate, and acted promptly, in order to set at rest tho Insinua tion that the bill was to be postponed to death in committee. In fairness to the commit tee, and especially to the four Allegheny county members of It I would like this pub lished. One of the Four. Pittsburg, Feb. 2L Correcting a Correspondent Tq the Editor of The Dispatch: A correspondent under date of Calumet, February 12, has again referred to examination of superintendents and managers of mines and works, alleging that orders are Issued from such parties to mine bosses, which if carried out would endanger the lives of miners. When we consider the great precautions used by superintendents and those in management of mines during the constrnction of their work, not only in the mine but with the machinery, and all other appliances used in connection with a mine, and also the caret nl supervision of all the workings and appliances in the opera tion of the entire mine and works, we can readily see the fallacy of the statement "tbat parties in authority such as these would issue orders endangering life." And allowing that this would occur the mine Inspectors have power to adjust such matters. We can In stance no case of forfeiture of position under such conditions; while a misconception of tbe capacity In which a mine boss is employed, an abuse of one's proper spere of duty, together with a false idea tbat one is serving the public as a life perserving agent rather than an em ploye of a company have cost many an other wise good man bis position to the advantage of both miner and operator. Justice. Latkobe, Feb. 19. A Needy Church in Ireland. To the Editor of The Dispatch: I bee to inform you that I am engaged in the arduons task of completing'the church begun by my predecessor. Very Rev. Allen. The Church of S . Mary's has already cost the large sum of 15,000, subscribed principally by tbe Meath portion of the town of Drogneda. Its completion will entail an additional ex penditure of 3,000, and to raise this sum 1 am obliged to appeal, to friends outside tbe pre cincts of this parish chiefly to those In Amer ica who retain a deep love for the old creed and the old country. As this is the first appeal of the kind coming from that part of the old historic town under the jurisdiction of the patriotic prelate of Meath, I have every confidence that tbe letters of application already sent to Pennsylvania, Brooklyn and New York will meet with a hearty and generous response from tbe Irish Americans, among whom the name of Bishop NultjMs a household word. By kindly Insert ing this notice in yonr widely circulated and Influential journal you will much oblige. Yours faithfully. Philip Callart, P. P. St. Mart's, Drooheda, Feb. 10. One Feature of the Silver Question. To the Editor of The Dispatch: There is one vital point in the silver coinage question that seems to have been strangely overlooked or ignored. It is embodied in the question: Will free coinage of silver of pres ent weight increase the volume of money in circulation? Will you please give your views on that point It seems to me that the meas ure will have a contrary effect, first by driv ing gold and gold convertible paper out of cir culation, and secondly, by decolnage, L e., tbe melting up of silver coin for use in the arts, which, from motives of convenience, will be largely done after Its extra bnllidn value dis appears, as it must necessarily do under free coinage. And, we may add, thirdly, with the disappearance of such extra bullion value goes also the main inducement relied on to stimu late abundant coinage, so tbat it is quite pos sible that coinage may not equal decolnage. SALEM, O., Feb. 19. J. W. T, Sunday Is the First Day. TdMie Editor of The DIspatcht Please decide which is the day generally con sidered as tbe first day of the week; by so do ing you will decide a long-standing bet A Constant Reader. Pittsburg, Feb. 22. The Distance Is 17 Miles. To the Editor of The Dispatch: Please let me k now through your columns the distance between Killyleagh and Bellan church, County Down, to settle a bet J. M. COXAUOHEY, MANSFIELD, PA, Feb. 19. No Exact Figures Are Obtainable, To the Editor of The Dispatch: Please inform a subscriber the number of col ored Republican voters In Pennsylvania, AXLEOHENT, Feb. 21. MIKD-EEADER AND MONARCH. Kalakn.ua Almost Killed Himself to Fool the Performer. Bt. Louis Republic J. Randall Brown, the mind-reader, once vis ited King Kalakaua in the Sandwich Islands. His Majesty during the interview, which was arranged in order to cive Brown a chance to ex hibit his powers, tried to foil tbe expert by do ing his thinking in the native language, but Brown quickly translated tbe thoughts Into English and explained the matters to the King. Kalakaua was .then invitea to secrete a button anywhere in the room. Instead of hiding it in the room he concealed it in his mouth. Brown was puzzled tor a moment, but finally told the King tbat tbe bntton was in his mouth. Determined not to let the mind reader get ahead of him. King Kalakaua attempted to swallow tbe button. It was a task more dint cult than His Majesty had anticipated, and he narrowly escaped choking to death. His physi cians and attendants were angry and indignant and blamed Brown, but the King recovering, the mind reader was allowed to leave tbe isl ands. Had King Kalakaua cboked to death on the button, Brown would have been fortunate in making his escape As it was, the King sent him a number of presents and complimented him on his triumphs. Senator Plumb's Oratory. '.From a Washington Letter.: Aplctnre ot Senator Plumb, taken" while he was in the act of addressing the Senate, is not very flattering to the Kansas orator. His neck tie was awry, bis Anted shirt was rumpled, and his clothes hung loosely about his big frame. In the beat of bis oratory be plunges one hand and then tbe other into his pockets, shakes his clinched fists at bis foes, and once In a while hits the stack of books he has piled upon bis desk and knocks it to the floor. Haven't Yon Heard? Indecratl Minneapolis Tribune. Senator Elect Kyle has been a statesman ever since the Fourth of July last and yet there Is not a newspaper in South; Dakota that can tell positively whether he is an Independ ent with Democratic leanings, a Republican with Independent leanings, or merely a lean ing with no politics at alL A Call to Wanamaker. Savannah News. 3 - Those! pending Senatorial contests in the West ought to be stopped under tbe provisions of the anti-lottery Jaw. THINGS IN GENERAL. Senator Hawleys Quotation In Referring to the Death of General Sherman an Apt One Some Features, of the Dead War rior Life. "After this, it was noised about tbat Mr. Vallant-for-Truth was taken with a summons. When be understood it be oiled for bis friends and told them of it Then said he, 'I am going to my fathers, and thougbjwith great difficulty I got hither, yet now I do not repent me of all the trouble I have been at to arrive where I am. My sword I give to him that shall succeed me in my pilgrimage, and my courage and skill to him that can get them. My marks and scars 1 carry with me to be a witness for me that 1 have fought His battles who will now be a rewarder.' When the day that he must go hence was come many accompanied blm to the riverside, into which as be went be said: 'Death, where is thy sting?' And as he went down deeper he said: 'Grave, where is thy victory?' So be passed over, and all tbe trumpets sounded for him on tbe other fide" Mr. Hawley quoted these sentences in the Senate the other day, when be presented the memorial resolutions at the announcement of the death of General Sherman. Tbat was a good quotation. It fitted the time and tbe man. It was better than a whole waste-basketful of Congressional orations. ' Thomas Ewing, lawyer, statesman. Secretary of the Interior, who provided for the education of young Tecumseh Sherman, and presently cave him his daughter in marriage, said after Sherman had won fame that as a boy there was nothing specially remarkable, about him, except tbat be never knew so young a boy who wonld do an errand so correctly and promptly as be did. General Sherman, like Cardinal Wolsey, made his first Impression upon those who were in authority over him. and first won approba tion by bis ability to run errands. This lact is commended to the attention of the boys. Every body knows bow Wolsey, being entrusted by the King with a message to somebody in France, started so speedily, and made such baste, and so diligently quickened his return that the King meeting blm a day or two later, asked bim wby he had not set ont yet upon 'that business with which be bad been charged, to which question the young man was able to make answer that be had gone and come back again. Tbat was the first round in Thomas Wolsey's ladder. Tecumseh Sberman was a boy who could be depended on. His mother knew tbac be wonld not play by the way. That sort of boy is pretty sure to grow up into a good man. Beading of His Youthful Days. It is not anywhere recorded, that I know of, that Tecumseh Sherman got heroic inspiration out of dime novels. Mr. Henry Adams, in his History of the Second Administration of James Madison has a chapter upon American litera-, ture in the days when Sherman was born, but 'be makes no mention of any such text-books in the art of war. At the time when Sherman was learning to read, everybody was reading Walter Scott tbe dime novel was not yet This great fighter did not getjhls inspiration there. You might as well expect a burdock to grow into an oak. Sherman began bis splendid career by running errands for bis mother. An honest, straight-forward, plain-spoken man. "You msy abuse me as much as you please," he said once, "but I'd prefer, of tbe two, to be accused of telling a direct falsehood than of stating anytblnc evasively or under hand." Fond of society of late years, when the labors of bis life were over, going out every evening, weather or no weather, he de tested it while he was at West Point, during his cadet days, when be wore the "gray bob tall," and kept as far away from it as be could. Not so much because he bated play as because he loved work. His aspirations -were not in the social direction. He bad other purposes before him.. Give him a piece of practical work to do and he was more than content Tbe other fellows were interested in dancing parties; Sherman's mind was taken up with "long twenty-fours and thirty-twos." The only balls that he cared mucb for were cannon balls. Sherman meant to be a soldier. The highest position which, in his opinion, a man could bold was tbat of an-officer In the United States Army, and the worthiest service in which a man could engage was the service of his conn try. Tbat ideal he set before himself at the start and he never lost sight of it It is remarkable how many things be tried and failed at. For at first there seemed to be no particular use for soldiers. He essayed the banking business; he experimented with a farm; be went into law; he became a teacher of engineering, architecture and drawing; he was president of a St. Louis street car company. But be did not belong in any ot these places. He did not fit them, nor they bim. At last came the war. A Deep Affection for His Conntry. Sberman was blessed with a good measure of tbat old-fashioned virtue, patriotism. Just now tbe politicians make it somewhat difficult for a decent man to love bis conntry very de votedly. Sberman had a deep affection tor the United States of America. That patriotic spirit inspired his desire to be a soldier. He bad no great ambition to kill somebody, to breathe smoke and get bis face black with powder and his bands red with blood, to win military fame. He wanted to serve his country. He put himself qnlte in the back ground. To gallop down a line of soldiers after a battle, between the living and tbe dead, wav ing his plumed bat like General Skobeleff in Verestchagin's picture, making a fine dramatic spectacle, and winning cheers from a thousand throats tbat Sherman liked not at all. He cared more for doing good service than for be ing praised for it afterward. I think that tbat ought to be emphasized in our thoughts about Sherman that excellent way he had of setting his country first, and keeping himself back. Down there In Louisiana, teaching in a mili tary academy, sympathizing with slaveholders, be stopped at once when the State seceded. Money, public opinion, personal considerations mattered not at all when the Union was endan gered. "If Louisiana withdraws from the Federal Union," he wrote to the Governor of tbat State, "I prefer to maintain my allegiance to the old Constitution as long as a fragment of it survives, and my longer stay here would be wrong in every sense of tbe word. I beg you to take immediate steps to relieve me as superintendent tbe moment the State determines to secede, for on no earthly account will I do any act or think any thought hostile to or in defiance of the old Government of tbe United States." Becognlzed the Force of the Storm. Then the storm broke. Sherman, more than anybody else, recognized what a storm it was. He derided the call for 'MeO volunteers for three months." He said that 'that was like try ing to pnt out a conflagration with a squirt-gun. Pretty soon, people found that out Sherman's time had come Bull Run, Shiloh, Corinth, Vicksburg, Atlanta, and the March to the Sea followed. Everybody knows the story. Sher man began in unpopularity. He was obscure; he wal plain of speech; he had a pernicious habit of telling the truth. But he won his way. The boy who was good at running errand3 was grown into a man who was just as good at fight ing battles. He desired work, any amonnt of It but wished no conspicuous position. Presently.being placed in an eminent posi tion.be "remonstrated against being placed in thief command, and considering the President pledged not to put him in any prominent commanu, 110 urgeu it wuir earnest- neSs." He meant it. it nas a sound of eccen tricity in these days when the chief pnrpose of victory is accounted to be the seizure of the spoils. It is not the doctrine of very many of tbe men who are at present engaged In serving their country. Conspicuous position, and a good salary, and no work is patriotic orthodoxy In this generation. It was a wise and good thing to have the school bells tolled when this man's body was carried through the city. Let all tbe boys and girls be made aware what sort of soldier and citizen be was, a man who honestly loved his country, an excellent example. I like that better than the march through Georgia, this march through Pennsylvania and Ohio to the music of tolling school bells. William Tecumseh Sberman was an unselfish citizen. "He bad that essential characteristic of a man worthy of high position and esteem and of value to the State, tbat he wa3 not intent upon filling his own pockets, nor was he occu pied in painting his own name in letters eight feetbigb. It is a good thing to have a whole great nation thinking about that sort of man. Politicians and Religion. A good man. No discounting of the Ten Commandments and of the Sermon on the Monntin his case After all, people have con sciences and appreciate goodness in men of ex alted station." Even professional politicians are discovering tbat Religion we want actual, downright, honest religion. Anyhow, that is what we need. Mr. Parnell, your time Is up. Mr. or Lord Whatever-your-name-is. found cheating at cards,we disapprove of ynu. Senator Ingalls, we forget all your fine speeches, except that one In which you deny that righteousness has any part In politics. And to-day we esteem this above all elso In General Sherman, above Shiloh even and the march to the sea, that he was a good man, pure In ,his life. Unselfish In bis noble public service, honest In his devotion to the State, a patriotic citizen. The Deadly Car Stove Goes Again. Boston Globe. The railroad accident in New York will lead the journals of that city to cry out again that "the deadly car stove mnst go." And it Is going every day, in almost every car that runs. Holidays Too Close Together. Rochester Union. We hope Philadelphia is not in such a state of coma after the Astor-Wllllog nuptials that tit cannot celebrate tbe 22d. i" A WELL-KNOWN WBTTEB 1XL, Why a Signature Has Been Omltted-j-Hon. Henry Hall In Harness Again. The tens of thousands of readers of TUB Dispatch have doubtless missed, for the past ten days, a well-known signature from its Har risburg correspondence "Stoflel" Is surely familiar to alL For several years Mr. L. E. Stoflel bas executed faithfully, conscientiously, discreetly, honorably and satisfactorily im portant commissions for The Dispatch. Notable assignments were the Country Road Expedition, the Chesapeake and' Ohio Canal expose whicht by the way, saved tbat water way from destruction and bis tour of the State previous to the vote on the prohibition amend ment. Through these well executed missions Li tr. Stoflel became familiar to all readers of Ihe Dispatch, and the sudden disappearance Of his signature from our columns has, no doubt been noted. Previous to the opening of the session Mr. Stoflel had been under medical treatment. It was with misgivings and against the advice ot friends tbat he undertook the onerous dntles of the session, bnt be hoped tbat mind wonld triumph over matter and tbat pluck and will power would pull blm through. But bis health, began falling, the badly ventilated Capitol hastened a hemorrhage, and Mr. Stoflel wa3 f dreed to lay aside his pen. Should bis illness prove temporary, he will take it up again, pre sumably in newer fields. None will miss Mr. Stoflel more than the Dispatch. May dis ease touch bim lightly and health restore him speedily is a sincere wish which we know wllf be seconded by all readers. The Dispatch has secured Hon. Henry Hall, of Mercer, to take charge of its Harris burg Bureau during tbe remainder of the ses sion. Mr. Hall's legislative and newspaper experience especially fits him for this important field of newspaper work. Both as a writer and a speaker Mr. Hall has won high honors. The Dispatch takes pleasure in introducing him once more to the pnblic of Pennsylvania, It feels confident that be will win fresh laurels in fresh pastures. Not a Budyard Kipling. Kansas City Star. Mrs. Stanley hastens to deny the charge that she has spoken slightingly of American ladies and gentlemen. She wishes lt'dlstlnctly under stood that there Is at least one native of En gland who didn't leave her manners off Sandy Hook. HE WATCHED OVER HIS SOLDIERS. An Army Incident Illustrating a Trait of General Sherman's. St. Louis 0 lobe-Democrat J "I have a story about the late General Sher man which I do not believe has ever yet been published," said Charles H.Erklns, of Sedalla, at the Lindell yesterday. "An old soldier told it to me to-day. The army was encamped one night in anticipation of a battle the next day, and tbe tired soldiers bad thrown themselves on the ground to sleep. The night was cold, and there was a scarcity of blankets, which warned the men to look out tbat no one should take advantage of their weariness to take possession of a loose blanket My informant was snoring away, when suddenly he was awakened by feeling some one tugging away at his blanket, which had fallen partially off him. He clutched the blanket, and with the choicest of army epi thets called the unseen person a thief for trying to steal his blanket "A voice which he recognized as that of Gen eral Sherman replied that be was merely cover ing him up, as the night was cold. Thus, on the eve of battle, the brave old soldier watched over his sleeping men and tncced them np in their blankets to keep thetn. from suffering from the cold." An Explanation at Last Brooklyn Eagle 1 Maybe Colonel Watterson's letter was with held by Wjnamaker's department for non payment of postage. A UNIQUE PENANCE. Two Young Women Will Not Burn Gas While Courting In Lent New Tork Snn.l Tbe most unique penance'yet heard of for the Lenten season Is that put upon themselves by two young, beautifnl, and vivacious Brook lyn ladles. These young ladies, it Is claimed by their friends, are nothing if not original. Tbey have decided that during the Lenten season they will swear off having the gas lighted when their very best beaux call. This In a measure will save dear papa tbe expense of the gas, and they insist tbat this In itself is a true sacrifice Of course they would like to see the young men in the light, and they would also like to Bhow their pretty gowns, but above all consideration for their personal predilections they say tbat dear papa must be thought of, and that this Lenten sacrifice on their part should be follow ed by other young ladies. Some of the skeptics say that this penance Is like unto some of the chaps who swear off drinking water with their hisky during Lent Bismarck Is Old and Querulous. St. Lonls Globe-Democrat. Bismarck is not winning any laurels by his carping criticism of the Emperor's advisers and policy. This course reveals a pettishness and malevolence which the world had not looked for in tbe ex-Chancellor. THE NEW CABINET OFFICES. Syracuse Courier: Foster is a genial man and bas many friends. While not a brilliant man he has a large stock of common sense Toledo Slade: Perhaps it may turn ont a good thing after all that the Hon. Charles Fos ter Was not elected to Congress last fall. New York World: Mr. Foster Is known to the country almostwholly as a politician of some thing less than the first rank. He is not known at all as a master of finance. Boston Herald: Foster of Fostorla Is ex pected to foster confidence in financial circles. He will have to greatly amend bis legislative record If tbe expectation is to be met Philadelphia Inquirer: A New York man would have raised a rumpus in the West while a free silverlte would have created a panic in the East Foster will be accepted as a good compromise Secretary. Cleveland Leader: He gave to Ohio as Gov ernor two administrations which stand among the best this State has ever had. He refunded the State debt at a lower interest rate than Ohio bonds were ever sold at before Philadelphia Times: The nomination of Ex Governor Foster, of Ohio, to be Secretary of the Treasury, is entirely political. It means that a strong effort is to be made to recover Ohio to the Republican party next fall as an Important condition of snecess In 1S92. Cincinnati Commercial Gazette: Ohio has again been called upon to fill an Important place and it is gratifying .that it has been able to respond most satisfactorily and that, too, without exhausting its supply of men capable of filling any position In tbe Government New York Tribune: Geographically, this se lection of a Secretary of the Treasury is for tunate Ohio stands midway between the fanaticism of the silver-producing States and the conservatism of the East But Mr. Foster bas not been a ball-way man In finance or any thing else New York Times: From the point of view of expediency, Mr. Foster's nomination has much to recommend it. It is in some ways even bet ter to have a sound Secretary of the Treasury from a region where public opinion is not fully settled than to have one of even more pro nounced views from a section entirely in sym pathy with him. Philadelphia Press: Governor Foster's training, business experience and strong com mon sense 'ought to make tbe very kind of a Finance Minister needed at this crisis. His tastes and talent as displayed In the House of Representatives led to his selection there for such business committees as Appropriations and Ways and Means, and his vote was given Uniformly on the side of sound money. Springfield Republican:- It is a question whether Foster is eligible. He is largely in terested In the Standard Oil Trust and this monopoly is aot only a heavy exporter but an mporter opun plate and an extensive claimant for rebate's of dnty on the tin of the cans In which its oil is exported. Section 213 of the Revisdd Statutes provides that "no person ap noinlbd to the office of Secretary of tbe I Trtlsury shall directly or indirectly be con I orned or interested in carrying on the busl- LSess of trade or commerce' unatpiainiy nars out Foster as It did A. T. Stewart, whom Grant onca named for the office CURIOUS CONDENSATIONS. The bodyguard of Queen Victoria ara called Beefeaters. . The New Tork Commission wishes to utilize Castle Garden as an aquarium. French statesmen have offered a reward of 1,000 francs for the best athletic game. The death roll of the present Congress it the largest since the organization of the Gov ernment. In one year the cost to the Government of twine to tie np mail packages reaches $72,000. New' York now has a larger area and mileage of asphalt pavements than bas either London or Paris. It is estimated that in England one man in EOO 'gets a college education, audio, America one in every 200. A Michigan jury was locked up a whole week before tbev could determine whether or not two men set Are to a haystack. Tbe Japanese Naval Minister urges that 75 vessels be added to bis country's arma ment almost doubling its strength. A Rochester teacher having occasion to use a portrait of George Washington at school exercises, was unable to find it on sale any where In the city. In the Kongo State a superstition flourishes which seems to characterize all negro populations. It Is the belief in witch craft and the evil eye East summer's excursionists to Iceland say the geysers, which have been among the greatest attractions of the island, are gradu ally losing their force. In Minneapolis yesterday Rev. Neville Fanning, Congregational, had just finished a sermon on "Is Life Worth Living?" when he fell down and died apoplexy. One of the interesting facts of physi ology, is thai tbe bnman body generates enough beat during the day to melt U pounds of Ice and raise it to the boiling point There is nothing which will squelch an oil-fed fire in its inclplency more quickly and effectually than sand and there are no alter claps in the way of water damage either. A crocodile which had "taken the pledge" was recently eiot on the Daintree river. Queensland. Tjt creature's stomach contained a Father Matbew temperance medal, dated 1880. The alligators of the Orinoco, previous to going in seareh of prey, always swallow large stones, that they may acquire additiona weight to aid them in dragging their prey un der water. The ancestral home of the Washington family Is Snlgrave, an insignificant village in Northamptonshire. England. The family lineage has been traced back as far as Sir William de Hertfurn, a knight of the twelfth century. A woman boarded a Grand Rapids and Indiana train at Reed City and rode to Big Rapids, where she alighted. She left a basket in the seat. The conductor didn't notice It particularly until the train reached Rockford, when be found it contained a week-old Daby boy. King Kalakaua's coffin is made of koa and kou wood of about 600 pieces; even the handles are made of wood. No metal of any kind is to be seen, except the Inscription plato upon which tbe crown and tbe Hawaiian coat-of arms are engraved, with other suitable Inscriptions. A suggestive incident of the recent railway strikes In Scotland was the suit for damages brought against some of their men by tbe Caledonian Company for a "desertion of Service." The Sheriff before whom the action was heard ordered tbe defendants to pay W0 each in monthly installments of $8. The Finn belongs to a race which was active and civilized before the Greek or tbe Indian, the Hebrew or the Persian was heard of; a race, one of tbe branches of which worked in metals, built Babylon, practised the arts of magic there and enacted laws In favor nf women's rights long before the first Semitic King took his seat The theaters in Japan have a novel method of pass checks which are positively non-transferable When a person withes to leave the theater before the close of the per formance, with the intention of returning, he goes to the doorkeeper and holds out bis right hand. The doorkeeper then, with a rubber stamp. Imprints on the palm the mark of the establishment The power of endurance of the Chinese coolie Is marvellous. A missionary from China tells of an instance that came under his own observation of men voluntarily traveling 43 miles before breakfast bearing a heavy load most of tbe time Innother case be met with some men who. after having gone 27 hours without food, and having carried a heavy bur den In the meantime.et had still strength enough left to carry a man 15 miles further. The announcement of the finding of several gold nuggets in Bucks county. Pa., has created a sensation in the Eastern part of the State It is probable there are no great fortunes to be had there for the seeking. Seven or eight years ago Joseph Fish tne owner of the Haviland farm, near Lizette sta tion, on the Bound Brook road, discovered gold in the bed of Brook Creek, and an assayer to whom It was taken said tbat the bed of the creek would probably yield $7 or $8 worth of gold to tbe ton a sum. by the way, insufficient to make mining profitable. " Two Westerners, pioneer railroad men, entertaining themselves and an appreciative audience by telling stories of the wild and woolly West "One of the funniest things I ever heard was the story a Swede told of his experience down in Oklahoma," said one of tbe pioneers! "He had saved about S130. and went down into the land of promise expecting to make a fortune He hadn't been there many hours, however, before some smooth fellow se cured his cash, and tbe poor Swede had to beat his way home. Some one asked him how be liked Guthrie 'No good at alt' he said. Whole town tents. Stores all tents, hotel tent, postoffice tent. Goat eat up tbe post office and Injun get on tear and make pair of breeches out of hotel. Oklahoma no good.' " In the tropics men sleep in hammocks or upon mats of grass. The East Indian unrolls his light, portable charpoy or mattress, which In tbe morning Is again rolled together and earned away by him. Tbe Japanese lie upon matting with a stiff, uncomfortable wooden neck rest The Chinese nse low bedsteads, often elabo rately carved, and supporting only mats or coverlids. A peculiarity of tbe German bed is its shortness; besides tbat it often consists In part of a large down pillow or upper mattress, which spreads over tbe person, aniusually answers tbe purpose of all the other ordinary bedclothing combined. In England the old four-posted bedstead is still tbe pride of the nation, but the iron or brass bedstead is fast becoming universal. The English beds are the largest beds In the world. The ancient Greeks and Romans hid their, beds supported on frames, but not flat like ours. The Egyptians had a couch of a peculiar shape more like an old-fashioned easy-chair with hollow back and seat ' THE TEE-USE'S NEST. I sat down because tbe sleeper reeled Like a skiff on the top of a billow. And waited and longed for the bed to get peeled. When the colored boy swallowed the plllew. Ashland Press. Although a quadruped, the pie can have his fore feet in the trough and have two on the ground. Few York Herald. "The operation," said the surgeon, gent ly., to a man who had just met with an accident, will be very painful. I strongly advise you to take an anesthetic." 'No," said the sufferer, 1 think I can bear It. 1 have been used to shav ing tnyself."-Si. Joseph Sews. Belle Why didn't you marry Mr. Wat son, Nell. We all know he asked you to. Nell-Oh, I couldn't be happy with such a man as Mr. Watson. Belle With such a man as llr. Watsont Why, Nell, what do you mean? They say he has abso lutely no faults. Nell Yes. so I understand. That's Just why I couldn't De happy with him. Somervttle Journal. Dryson Well, Dock, I hear you opened a drugstore at Des Moines, Iowa. Doctor Yes, and I am making It pay, too. My receipts one day last week amounted to over 1100, and that didn't Include the 7S cents' worth of drugs I toi.-Xtaaara Spray. Ryson Colonel Bourbon, I presume, sab, you are observing Lent, sah? Colonel Uousbon Yes,sah, I've made a sacrifice I take my whisky straight, sah, now and gtve np the sugar, sah. Cincinnati Commercial Oa tette. John Jjcob Astor was arrested the other day at Wichita for stealing chickens, and In spite of his name dldn' t have enough money to pay his tne Kansas City Star. Wife Yon don't tell me that Prof. A. has been struck dumb? Husband-Yes, last night. And he was master, of seven languages. Wire Is It possible? Andw she struck domS la all stvtn? Suut, in Ttxat 8fHng$ tat. . A,;s itfHiiato'JL-.W;. nrrnffrwftftl ifftl HI
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers