THE PITTSBURG- DISPATCH, SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 21, I89L EX.PRESIDENT CLEVELAND Heads a List of Learned Attorneys WHO CONTRIBUTE TO THE DISPATCH A Symposium on SUCCESS AT THE LAW. SUCCESS AT THE LAW. Lawyers and Laymen Will Find Pleasure in This Contribution To-Morrow. KIPLING ON OUR COAST DEFENSES AND SOCIAL CUSTOMS Is a Feature of To-Morrow's Issue. Art, Sports, Secret Orders, Drama, G. A. R., Educational, Music, Military, Society, Are Fully Covered. EXCLUSIVE CABLE SERVICE. HOME NEWS CENTERS COVERED. NEARBY TOWNS WATCHED. BOTH CITIES SCOURED. High Class Fiction, Reading for the Home, Science of Every Sort, State and National News, Cest Newspaper Writers. THE DISPATCH TO-MORROW Will Give Reading for All Classes. GET THE DISPATCH From Your Nearest News Agent, a Carrier, a Newsboy or on the Trains and at the Hotels. IT CAN BE ORDERED BY MAIL. No Home Should Be Without It. e m&xRm. ESTABLISHED FEBRUARY 8, IS46. Vol. 46, No. 14. 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One Year r60 "Weekly Dispatch, One Year 125 The Daily Dispatch is delivered by carriers at Zl cents per -week, or Including bandar edition, at !( cents per week. PITTSBURG. SATURDAY. FEB. 21, 189L RESERVOIRS FOR FLOODS. At the first great flood in the experience of this generation, that of 18S1, people were so astonished that they hardly thought of preventive measures. They looked upon it merely as a disastrous phenomenon; but the recent repetition on a smallar scale has set everybody thinking, and it is not surpris ing that some of those who think hastily do not grasp at first the most competent ideas which are advanced by scientific experts. The problem of preventing floods by reservoirs at the headwaters of the different streams was fully and capably discussed in this paper, during the winter, by an en gineer who bad made a practical study of the subject This contributor, answering the criticism of a cotemporary, throws fur ther new and valuable light on the subject this morning. lie shows by figures which approximate sufficiently close to the actual conditions to be acceptable, that the exces sive flow of water this week could be amply provided for by such reservoirs. But what is more convincing than any theory, he points to such reservoirs for exactly such a purpose as having been already constructed at the headwaters of the Mississippi on a scale several times larger than would be re quired to prevent incommoding floods in the Allegheny. He shows further that the reservoir device is not only successful in preveuting floods, but that it usefully in creases for transportation purposes at other times the stage of water in the river, and that its whole cost is less than the damage which was done in these cities alone by the overflowing waters during the past week. We recommend the communication to careful notice. THE NICARAGUA CAXAL SCHE2IE. Senator Vest, yesterday, opposed the Nicaragua Canal bill vigorously on the ground it would abrogate the Clayton Bulwer treaty. This objection was met, in advance, by the committee which reported the bill by the contention that England has already abrogated tnat treaty. This question may be important in the abstract, but the real question upon the bill over shadows diplomatic consideration. The United States Government cannot afford to offer fat picking to an inside contracting company in a way that would probably com pel it to pay the actual total cost of the canal, which would still be owned by the private corporation. And it has far more important work to do within its own territory. The improvement of our natural waterways to make them, at once, navigable and their surplus waters manage able, is an object worthy the Government's best endeavors. The annual losses by floods are enormous, amounting to .more than the total traffic by way of the Nicaragua Canal if it was open. Then there is the vast inter State traffic to be served. The lake com merce aggregates a greater tonnage than the trans-Atlantic, This wants outlet and con nection, by canals, with the navigable rivers which penetrate every region of our wide domain between the Alleghenies and the Eocky Mountains. First let us have in ternal improvements. THE TRIBUTE TO SHERSIAK Notwithstanding the inconvenience of the hour and the short time allowed, when the remains of General Sherman passed through the city yesterday, there was a most appropriate manifestation of the public honor and respect The same statement can indeed be made of the entire demonstration throughout the State. The spectacle of the passage of a funeral cortege without steppage, yet accompanied by the spontaneous assemblage of the mourning comrades of the dead General offering their silent homage, was affecting and impressive proof of the esteem in which he was held. The arrangements, which prevented more elaborate and prolonged public mourning, were in accordance with the wishes and directions of General Sherman, expressed before his death. "Whether where the fame of the dead man was a uational pride, and his death a national loss, there was not a public claim for opportunities to pay more adequate homage, may be an open question. But it is satisfactory that while General Sherman's wishes were fully re spited, the public affection for the dead man was expressed in the most unostenta tious and yet touching methods. THE CANAL REPORT. The report of the Snip Canal Commission was presented to the Legislature yesterday. A full summary of it appears elsewhere. No public document has ever dealt with topics of more vital magnitude to the business in terests of Pittsburg.orgiven bo thorough and conclusive treatment of them. The subject deals with an improvement of our transpor tati6n system that will make Western Penn sylvania the manufacturing center of the world; fix our supremacy iu the iron and coal trade beyond question; and bring the mills and fuel of our section so much nearer the ores of Lake Superior and the markets of the Northwest as is represented by bring ing lake navigation to Pittsburg. A retort which demonstrates the practicability of doing this by means of a ship canal from Lake Erie to the Davis Island dam; which shows how it is to be done in an engineering sense; what the cost of doing it will be; and what it will accomplish in the line of trans portation, is the gospel of an enterprise which opens up greater possibilities for the district concerned than are within our com putation. When the early investigations of the com mission had shown the engineering practi cability of the canal and the ample supply of water for its higher levels, The Dis patch said that, in view of the manifest services such a water route would perform for our industrial interests, the one point left to be determined was its cost The commission has not neglected the fullest statement of all the other factors; but its full estimate of the cost of construction furnishes the authoritative statement that makes up the whole case. In round numbers, the canal can be built from Davis Island dam to Con neaut harbor for 26,000,000; to Erie for $30,000,000. These look large sums, bnt a little thought will show they are small in comparison with the object to be at tained. For instance, when we find that the total railway capitalization employed on the lines between Western Pennsylvania and the lake ports is over $60,000,000 it may appear that the expenditure of half that sum to secure a route which would carry the fundamental traffic more adequately and reduce the cost 50 per cent, even if the capital had to be remunerated, presents decided attractions. Such a route would not be subject to discriminations; no combination of carriers on the canals would send the industry of a district into suspen sion because they would carry freight as cheaply for that district as they were glad to do for other sections; and the expansion of business by reason of the cheapness of freights would advance the prosperity of all sections. With regard to thi estimates of the traffic available for the canal the only criticism which can be made upon the figures of the commission is that they are within the facts. Its figures on the iron traffic are drawn from the reports of 1889 which were doubtless the latest accessible when that part of th.. report was drawn up but the statistics for 1890 show an increase in the volume of this department alone of over ten per cent Some days ago The Dispatch referred to calculations from the basis of this report fix ing the total railway traffic furnished to the railways by the iron and steel industries of Western Pennsylvania and the Mahoning Valley in the vicinity of 11,000,000 tons. This does not take into ac count the coal shipments of Western Pennsylvania which are over 18,000,000 tons more, or the movements of lumber, brick and miscellaneous freight A recent census bulletin shows the movement of lake freight at the four ports of Cleveland, Fairport, Ashtabula and Erie for the year ending June 30 last to have been 8,600,000 tons. With these enormous totals of traffic already transacted by an expensire railway haul be tween this city and the lakes, it is a con servative estimate to say that a water route which would cheapen charges on ore, iron and coal by SO per cent would command 7,500,000 tons of freight annually as soon as it could be gotten into lull operation. The figures of Mr. Goodwin show that a vessel carrying ore from Lake Superior with a return trip of coal would only have to charge from 10 to 18 cents more per ton for coming to Pittsburg to earn the profit now obtained by stopping at the lake ports. Fix that charge at 20 cents; and suppose tolls to be charged of 30 cents per ton. On the initial total this would yield (2,250,000, or enough to pay 4 per cent interest on the ex treme cost and, yield $1,050,000-annually for maintainance and extinction of debt But railway statistics have demonstrated beyond dispute that lowering freight charges one half will increase the volume of business four times. So that we are entitled to expect that even if the State or nation, or both combined, should issue bonds for the construction ot the canal and make the traffic pay charges which would only yield the interest at the start, a very few years would bring a growth of traffic that would extinguish the debt by the ma turity of a 25-year bond. The majority of the commission, looking at the project purely in an engineering light, report in favor of the line to Conneant harbor, as the shortest and less costly route. Mr. Brewer, as the representative of Erie, concedes this point, but submits an argu ment in favor of the advantages of Erie, even at the extra cost We confess to find ing considerable force in his argument. The value of a lake terminus which presents a large and thoroughly protected harbor is not to be overlooked. Whether that ad vantage is great enongh to overcome nearly $4,000,000 of extra cost is a question for thorough discussioq, but we do not take the report as conclusively and finally putting Erie out of the canal enterprise. Every citizen who has the interests and future growth of these cities and of the in dustries of all Western Pennsylvania at heart, is invited to read the report and judge for himself. CLEVELAND'S CANDIDACY. There have been periodical reports that Grover Cleveland would not be a candidate for the Democratic Presidental nomination in 1892. The latest one seems to have as much foundation as former ones had. These reports may prove trne, they may prove false. Mr. Cleveland is a candidate for the place only inasmuch as he is prominently mentioned as an available man. He has not, apparently, taken any measures to secure the nominatian, but has merely re mained passive. His candidacy depends, not on Mr. Cleveland's wishes, but upon the conditions which may prevail in 1892 and the wishes of the Democratic party at that time. The recent letter against the free coinage of silver indicates that Cleveland would rather be right than to he President and gives him a standing for good sense. The same good sense probably teaches him that present conditions may not prevail in '92 and that hopes not cherished are easiest forgotten. THE TUNNEL HOKItOB. The collision in the railway tunnel, in New York City, leading to the Grand Central depot, was one of the events of yesterday. The rapid succession of such calamities goes far to justify the opinion that they are caused by a growing careless ness of human life in the operations of transportation and industry. "Whatever may be thought of the preced ing casualties, there is little doubt that the one of yesterday was caused by gross negli gence. The tunnel where it occurred is one through which an immense traffic is con stantly passing, and it was apparent to any one that any departure from a thorough system of precautions must cause disaster. The means of keeping the passage of trains through the iunnel under thorough control are a part of the science of railroading. It is a manifest conclusion that such a calamity as that of yesterday could not occur except from a grave defect in the system or gross disobedience of orders. The responsibility for such an aecident on one of the chief arteries of travel into New York City should be rigidly investigated. We hardly need say that the same course should be taken concerning the recent river and mining disasters. There should be no necessity for the present sacrifice of human life in the prosecution of modern industrial operations. A GREAT THEORY DESIOLISHED. The explanation of the Shakespeare cipher from Mr. Ignatius Donnelly, which he claimed to demonstrate the Baconian au thorship of Shakespeare's dramas, simply provided a method by which almost any story that a decipherer might wish could be produced. Every one perceived the im mense industry and ingenuity displayed in Mr. Donnelly's construction of a theoretic cipher, which could be made to disclose any given assertion; but few people cared to emulate that devotion of labor to the chop ping of imaginary chaff. One such person, however, has arisen to give the finishing blow to Mr. Donnelly's discovery. A clergyman of the Church of England, Rev. Dr. Nicholson, evidently with the large sup ply of cultured leisure, has produced some other remarkable statements, by applying the cipher method to the folio of 1623. For instance, in support of his assertion that the Donnelly method "can be used to demonstrate almost any statement of facts," the new cipherer refers to an ecclesiastical lawsuit which occurred long after both Shakespeare and Bacon were dead, in which the case of Bishop King had been sent to the Archbishop of Canterbury by a writ ot mandamus. By the cipher method he discounts the wonderful discovery of the Baconian cipher, and gives that remarkable edition the gift of prophecy to the following effect: "Bishop King doth peril the loss of his see. They stick not to send back the cause by writ to the Archbishop. The judg ment of His Grace is not certain." The idea that Bacon embalmed in a cipher certain secrets which were too grave to ever be known, and therefore preserved the means for publishing in print that which should not be published is like a play that was on the boards a few years ago for the exploitation of canine and leonine training on the stage. In this play certain Nihilists had got up a conspiracy, and the documents necessary at once to prove the existence of the plot and to carry out its mysterious in tents were deposited for safe keeping in a bundle tied to the neck of a lion which was kept under the grand staircase of the Czar's winter palace, where, as every well-informed person knows, that potentate maintains a large and select menagerie. How the con spirators tied the papers to the neck of the lion, what good they were doing there, or how they proposed to get them off, were not points which the drama undertook to ex plain, so long as the opportunity was given for the hero of the play to enter the den and take the documents off from the spiritless old lion who represented the king of beasts iu the place. Why Bacon should spend laborious nights in working into certain plays statements he did not wish known; what purpose he could subserve by this method of publishing facts that he would not have published for the world which publication would convey no information to anyone was equally unim portant, so that it was reserved for Mr. Donnelly to decipher these remarkable tales. But the logic of the discovery is brought to a standstill by the further dis covery that the root numbers of Mr. Don nelly work out the following statement: "Master William Shakespeare writ this play and was engaged at the curtain." Again, by the interlocking system emphatic ally indorsed by Mr. Donnelly, we find that "Will Shakespeare, son of John, gave a tragic volume to the stage which hath won praise from greatest noble and dullest peas ant, rendering him remembered iu all time." The explanation at once of Mr. Donnelly's Baoonian narrative, and the prophetic and contradictory statements dug out by the same methods, is furnished by Dr. Nichol son. The mathematical chances of getting any desired statement out of the folio of 1623 by Mr. Donnelly's methods are as 3,309,000 to 1. With this fact, we can dis miss Mr. Donnelly to his latest occupation as a Farmers' Alliance candidate for the Presidency. THE OIL PRODUCERS' SITUATION. In view of the adverse intimations given out from the start no very profound surprise has been created by the negative vote of the Corporation Committee upon the Burdick bill. Mr. Lee, who represented the oil pro ducers, recognized early that the spirit of the committee was antagonistic Its refusal to hear the advocates of the bill in rebuttal of Mr. Archbold's speech on Thursday no doubt prepared the producers for the nega tive recommendation which followed. The Judiciary Committee, however, to which the measure was referred by the Sen ate, has still to be heard from, so that there is yet some chance iu that direction. Even if both bodies are of the temper that is so easily convinced by the eloquence of the Standard representatives, the whole subject can nevertheless be brought up and carried to a direct vote in both Senate and House, where every member can go upon record. That there are honest differences of opin ion upon some of the details of the bill is quite evident; but these furnish no warrant for rejecting wholly the oil producers' ap peal for relief from charges both for pipeage and storage which they have fairly demon strated to be severely oppressive to the in dustry, and beyond any reasonable limit of returns upon capital invested. THE LONDON GAMBLING CASE. The inside facts of the Gordun-Cumming card scandal, as given in The Dispatch this morning, show the baronet up in no very enviable light, while the other parties to the affair appear to deserve every one of the thrusts aimed at them by the American press in the last few days. The English papers, of course, did not dare do more than hint at the matter in the most guarded fash ion, but in this country, where we have no very exaggerated respect for nobility to de ter us, the afiair was pretty thoroughly ventilated, considering the amount of infor mation at hand. To-day, however, the story Is published in full for the first time, and contains as pointed a lesson on the evils of gambling as has appeared in many a long day. Here is Sir William Gordon-Cumming, Bart, Lieutenant Colonel of the Scots Guards, disgraced for life on account of a few sover eigns, and the Prince of Wales and other persons high in British society held up to view as spies on the doings of the sus pected man. Probably the actions of , the people who watched the baronet were proper under the circumstances, but if they had not been every whit as great gamblers as was Sir William, they would not have needed to watch him. In other words, if they had not played with him be fore the cheating and won his monny, he would not have been under the necessity of juggling with the stakes on that September night. We do not defend the accused man, bnt only wish to point out that those who gamble and win are at least partly responsi ble for cheating when their victims resort to it. The political uproar in Canada is of a class to make one of our Presidental elections tarn pale with envy and to create the impres sion that the Dominion is on a verge of civil war. Charges of "treason" and the production of alleged "disloyal" documents are the mild est political arguments employed at present. It is calculated to awaken a languid interest on this side the lino to learn that the excite ment is all based on the determination of the United States to gobble up Canada, after the manner in wbicb Major General Stanley's daughters were to bo carried off by the Pirates of Penzance, "against our wills, papa." As the aforesaid annexation does not take up as much space in the public mind of the United States as a successful stock deal, we can assure our Canadian friends that they are sate against an nexation until they wish It. The contributions for the relief of flood sufferers are coming in creditably; but there is need for all that is likely to be sent. In a case like the present the charitable should remem ber that it is especially true that be whs elves quickly gives twice as much in valne as he who delays bis contributions until the exigency is over. Senator Gkady seems to be chiefly useful as an advocate of appropriation bills and an opponent of anything and everything which tends to curtail the comprehensive privileges of corporations. It is astonishing to learn from one of the freshest In both senses of the word news papers of New York that there was "33 feet of water in the streets of Pittsburg." This, our new cotemporary thinks, is a jnst result of other qualities of our city which are equally Imaginary, As tbo 33 feet of water In our streets is as imaginary as much of the bona fide values in New York stocks, we need not waste space m refuting the attendant and fictitious charges that Pittsburg is especially noted for young men who prefer beer to matrimony, or that it always has "movements" that are "on foot" except to remark with regard to the latter charge that of late years Pittsburg "movements" have attained the speed of cable cars. The South Dakota Legislature not only recognizes the Decalogue in politics, but sends a clergyman to the United States Senate. But it must be remarked in passing that the clergy men seem to have had a very correct eye to an effective political deal. Mk. Aechbold's earnest assertion that the Standard is the most Innocent and slandered mass of capital in the country, is somewhat familiar; but it seems to bo as effec tive as ever. The speech of Congressman Darwin S. Hal! on the Indian appropriation bill was cer tainly a great effort orally, if delivered. By a glance over the interesting pages of our es teemed cotemporary, the Congressional Rec ord, we see that the speech is plentifully sprinkled with such beautiful Indian names as Sisseton. Wabpton, Medawakanton and Wah pakoota. Probably, however, the Uon. Mr. Hall did net deliver the speech orally, bnt just bad it printed in the Record. If so, we do not blame him, for bad Medawakanton or Wahpa koota stuck crosswise In his throat, Minnesota would have been under the necessity of elect ing a new Representative. Mb. Depew is against trusts in trade be cause "they wipe out small dealers, the life of American trade." When Mr. Depew gets into politics a little further light may break in upon him to the effect that railroad combinations do the same thing. The Nicaragua Canal Company wants Government assistance now, tbat it may give lower rates to shippers. Should it get the sub sidy the higher rates would bo charged just the same. The statement of the Bureau of Health that the poorest sanitary condition of the city is found in such a wealthy quarter as the East End, while the best is in the quarter inhabited by workmen, presents a remarkable contrast. Much of this is doubtless due to the topograph ical differences ot the various parts of the city. Bnt it shows beyond dispute the necessity of improved drainage in the East End. The news that Michigan has a railway 53 miles long tbat does not owe a dollar will be re garded by the light of railway policy as another illustration of the reckless tendency of the Farmers' Alliance to fly in the face of financial precedents. With regard to the alleged wringing ma china trust, the best advertisement for it will be proof that one of its machines has taken all the water out of the stock. The fact that Seuator Plumb, as a repre sentative of the wild and wooly West, has pro ceeded to smash Mr. George W. Smally, the Tory Squire of the New York Tribune, is agi tating but not necessarily destructive. The warfare will be like trying to shoot snipe with beavy artillery, productive of much noise but little slaughter. Chicago got a taste, yesterday, of the sleet tbat makes overhead wires dangerous, ex pensive and very unsatisfactory. It was Poor Richard who said: "Experience keeps a dear school, but fools will learn in no other." The free coinage measure died an easy death In the House Committee'yesterday. but Its advocates promise that it will resurge in the next Congress. The Legislature of West Virginia is en gaged in disciplining a wretched book agent who slipped a S50 bill Into the pocket of one of her legislators in order to create a favorable view of the agent's brand of school books. Any such offer of 10 per cent on the real value of the commodity deserves condign punish ment Latest Find of the Freak Hunters. St. Joseph, Mo., Feb. 20. The house in which Jesse James lived at the time he wa3 shot was sold to-day to J. W. Overmeyer, of Chicago, for SL900. The house will bo taken to pieces, sent to Chicago and exhibited at the Libby Prison War Museum. The house is a one-story structure, and it is situated in South St Joseph. DEATHS OP A DAY. Mrs. Matilda Long. Mrs. Matilda Long, aged 82 years, mother ofT. P. Hershberger, died yesterday morning at 7 o'clock. Mrs. Long was an old resident of Pittsburg and was highly esteemed by all who knew her. Trie funeral will he held to-morrow from her late residence, on Western street, Thlr-ty-kixthward, at3:J0r. m. Jolin Orr. .SrICL!. TELECRAMTO THE DISPATCH.; Stetjbenville, Feb. 20. John Orr, the well-known wholesale grocer of this place, died late this afternton of a complicated dlseue or the kidneys. SNAP SHOTS IN SEASON. The name of the ship which floated on the broad bosom of the flood Is Hardship. The bump of Perversity seems to be ab normally developed In a large portion of the dwellers on this fire-stuffed ball. How so many of us imagine we can thwart fate or escape the inevitable by shutting our eyes or drawing the curtain of indifference between what was and what may be again, is one of the things tbat puzzles tbo student of human nature.. You have never rolled on the bile-disturbing sea, but you have beard of its terrors, been warned against taking aboard a cargo of solids and liquids, been instructed in the stomach lore of the ocean crossers, and still you defy the inevitable when opportunity offers. Aboard the travelers go, full fed, tight-waisted, indif ferent, defiant After preliminaries are hastily attended to the dining saloon is sought, the ubiquitous steward tipped, the chair secured, the meal devoured, the wine gulped, the cigar puffed. You knew you were detying fate, but perversity Is more strongly developed than discretion, and you pay the penalty. You vowed you would never do It again; but you did, and you will keep on doing it, too. The same force tbat made you defy the stomach-shattering sea Impels in other ways. Ere the volcano subsides homes are built at Its fruitful base. Ere tbe waters re cede you scrape the slime off the sand and hug the danger line closer. In the track of the avalanche a home nest is reared a sacrifice to greed, a monument to perversity. Timbers which the strouc waves of the wind-whipped ocean can splinter and snap hold homes. Tbe tide goes out and the fate-defier drives a stake, throws up a dyke, and builds a human shelter. The sea sobs while it swallows up Its prey, but the builder builds again, and the lesson goes for naught The neuralgia and rheumatic victims are warned about the wet, but don't dodge tbe raindrops. Those who are susceptible to cross currents, wbon told to avoid draughts open windows and doors. Tbe weak who are urged to walk take a tramcar. Those who need fresh air stick to the crowded city street And so it goes. Warnings are unheeded, advice ignored, les sons forgotten, calamities relegated to the date less past. Where the flood swept the hammer will swing and the children will sing. Over the ruin, down closer to tbe region claimed by tbe river, homes will stand until the floodgates of heaven are loosed again, until the snow falls and the sun shines, until the ice crunches the bricks, the boards and tbe timbers, and tbe waters stain with slime and bury beneath the mud the ruins of man's perversity. In England the Lords' prayer is that they be not abolished. Female servants should make good wives, as they have had experience as do mestics. Masonic lodges contain some men of high degree. The only thing in Congress that is con ducted on business principles is the cold tea department The actress who is walking from San Francisco to New York must have starred with a one-night-stand show. It is about as easy to knit a broken bone in the leg as to knit a stocking to cover it The Indians who killed are petted and lionized, while the friendlles are ignored. As a showman, Uncle Sam does more barm than good. The goods in the flooded cellars dampen the ardor of the sellers. The New School Politician. When two forces acting In opposite directions meet they produce anew force, which continues to move in a direction different from either of the other lorces. This new force Is called in mechan ics a resultant. To-night 1 feel that I am a result antformerly a Kepubllcan,then an Independent, and now that I have been elected by both parties I am a resultant of both parties. I am au Inde crat. Senator-Elect Kyle, of South Dakota. I'm a politician of the modern school, A regular Jim Dandy from the West I do not care a snap for party rule, .Nor shall I bow to any clan's behest I am rather Independent, as you see. Still I'm inclined to be a Democrat; With Republicans 1 may at times agree I'm an out-and-out Dakota Indecrat I'm a Result of strife's opposing forces, An-Inde-Rep-Pro-Granger Democrat, And with these new political resources I can in any party plot stand pat. I am very much in favor of reform. But still 1 think we've bad enougn of that; So I'll let the other fellows rave and storm, And remain a calm and docile Indecrat I think high tariff is a splendid measure, Perhaps free trade might be the proper thing; Kroo coinage, too, would be a Western treasure, But golden eagles have the truest ring. The Force Bill, I supposo.'is necessary. Still it is meant to please the autocrat; No matter if on these I seem contrary, I'll be excused, for I'm an Indecrat I'm a Senator of quantity unknown, I know tbat I'm elected that's enough; When the votes are closest there I'll stand alone. And hold oat firm and Doldly make a bluff. I'm a politician of the modern school, The Resultant of t deadlock's grand flat, Jnst the newest kind of politician's tool A flopping, wobbling. Western Indecrat This must be a wet moon, but it should distribute its favors over a wider area. Db. Hansen, the Danish Pole hunter, only proposes to take eight men with him. Eight will not be missed. After it rains the temperature is meaner than ever. Wheh ships at sea run out of fresh water why don't they use the well? There's one on board, you know. The real estate business is a legitimate lottery. TnE contented thief takes things philo sophically, ot course. Marked for life Tho smallpox patient Judging from the swiftness with which tbe Burdick bill was defeated in committee it must have been well oiled. Befoee woman can stand in the political breach she will be forced to stand in breeches. TJnbelievebs study the solar syatem in preference to the soul in their own system. Geologists are the only ones who can gather dates in the rocks. If women ever enter politics they ' will waste a heap of smokeless powder during campaigns. Modebn theology is developing as many mugwumps as modern politics. TnE bird book promoters imagine the tax payers are jays. The upper ten holds just as many ciphers as the lower ten. Locomotives have tender attachments as well as their masters. The helping hands of the warm hearted grip tbe hearts ot the flood sufferers. By this time bar bills are as numerous at Harrisburg as the other sort When the flying machine flies it will be a sight for soar eyes. THE Standard has established a pumping station at the State Capitol. ELECTRIC stockholders would feel re lieved if somebody would turn on the light. People who starve for a purse make money fast While the Irish leaders are wrangling England is courting the starving peasantry through their stomachs. Potatoes are mightier than manifestoes at present The Whitney and Gorman boomers are showing their hands. Thus the Presidental calamity draws nigh. Dubing a flood the householder must lose his grip, judging from tbe way houses slide off foundations. Stbange that some free trader hasn't blamed tbe McKinley bill for tbe high water. Handkerchiefs are forced to stand some bard blows. Willie Winkle. OUR MAIL POUCH. How Floods Could he Averted A Reser voir System Feasible and Cheap. To the Editor of The Dispatch: A most remarkable editorial appeared in an afternoon paper of Thursday last It at tempted to criticise The Dispatch articles in favor of headwater reservoirs. We will quote as follows: What queer Ideas some people have when they come across something unnsual. The flood has given rise tomany strangenotlons: especially the newspapers seem to be afflicted In this regard. Tbe stnpendous quantities of water, taxing the ordinary resources of arithmetic to express, that have passed through or over Davis Island dam. say since Sunday last, are such as to be beyond the power of mortal man to control. A body of water, enough to fill Lake Erie, can neither be stored at headquarters, norlshut In at any single point. The narrowing of the river's cross-section may retard the tidal wave somewhat, may make it last a few hours longer, but that Is abont all. These grotesquely erroneous statements tend to delay a project, the execution of which would benefit onr city and people more than any other one thing. The Impression is conveyed that a reservoir tbe capacity of Lake Erie would have been in sufficient to control tho waters of the recent flood in the Allegheny. Lake Erie is 9,000 square miles in area, and an average of 200 toet deep, and contains 363 7-11 cubic miles of water, and is, therefore, sufficient to contain tbe en tire outflow of the Mississippi for over two years. Tbe crest of the flood wave was 36 hours in passing, flowed with an average velocity of seven miles per hour, and discharged through an opening less than 750 feet in clear width say one-seventh of mile. The extreme height of the crest of the wave was 9 teot and tbe average height 6 feet above danger line. Therefore the flood-producing water was a body 36x7252 miles long, 6 leet deep and one-seventh of a mile in width. This body of water therefore would have been re tained by a reservoir 36 square miles in area, 6 feet; or by a reservoir 9 square miles in area, 21 feet deep. If put in Lake Erie it would occupy abont 11-10 square miles, or LS727 part of the lake's surface. The writer's error is thus shown to be only 872,727 per cent. Again, the entire flood can be similarly shown to have been suf ficient to fill a reservoir 120 square miles in area and 20 feet deep, and if placed in Lake Erie wonld occupy just 12. miles of thatlake's area. If the critic of what appeared in The Dispatch meant to say tbat tbe entire flood was equal to the volume of Lake Erie ho is only 60,000 per cent in error. It has been shown tbat the flood-producing water could have been contained in a reservoir 9 square mile in area and 24 feet deep, or a little over 6.000,000,000 cuhicfeetln capacity. The reservoirs at the headwaters of the Mi-sissippi, projected and completed, aro of 91,750,000,000 cubic feet capacity, and their es timated cost is onlv $573.660 very much less than this flood cost Pittsburg. A reservoir or system of reservoirs one-tenth that capacitv would be ample to protect us from flood'. The Mississippi reservoirs are now in successful operation, with most beneficial effect on navi gation and upon flood conditions. They give St. Paul an additional 18 inches of water for ICO days of the dry season, and a practical im munity from ovorflow. All the interests of this section should unite to secure to our rivers the benefits of a system so markedly beneficial. " ENGINEER. PlTTSBUBG, Feb. 20. PEOPLE AHD POTENTATES. Heney M. Stanley has begun to think that lecturing is more tiresome than exploring Africa. Count Rothenbtjbg, 10 years old, is the youngest lieutenant in the Prussian army. He is assigned to the First Regiment of Dra goons. The widow of Count Andrassy has lent her late husband's correspondence to Prince Bismarck for use in the preparation of bis memoirs. Kalakatta was a thirty-third degree Mason. He was also Master of one of tbe blue lodges. Scribe of the Chapter and Warden of the Templars. Columbus will be honored by the Ohio city which bears his name with a bronze statue, designed by R. H. Park. It will cost 520,000. and, with pedestal, stand 30 feet high. Empeess Fbedebick, of Germany, is said to be going to Paris in order to use her personal influence with French artists so as to induce them to take part in the art exhibition to be held in Berlin. Pbof. Txndall, whose critical illness is reported from London, is an Irishman by birth, and his early training was of the most unpre tentious kind, his parents being in tbe humblest circumstances. He is now about 70 years of age. Ex-Qoeen Isabella's daughter, the Princess of Paz, is happily married to Prince Ferdinand, of Bavaria, The Prince is distin guished as a medical student, and his own and his wife's charities have mada them noted throughout Germany. The ex-Empress Charlotte, of Mexico, still mildly insane, lives In a large country house near Lacken. She is perfectly able to direct all, tho internal economy of tho estab lishment, and takes long walks in the beautiful park which surrounds it. M. Osibis, the rich Parisian banker who resides at Lausanne, has presented to that town a statue of William Tell, costing 100,000 francs. The gift is in commemoration of the hospitable reception given by the Swiss to the army of Bourbaki in 1S71. General Sherman's eldest daughter onca refused to waltz with the Russian Crown Prince when he made his tour of the United States. Her refnsal was based on the ground of doference to tho wishes of her mother, who does not approve of waltzing. Ethel Spkague, the actress, looks very little like her distinguished mother, Mrs. Kate Chase-Sprague. The daughter's face is almost colorless and rather thin, but her expression is pleasing. She is thought to bear a strong re semblance to Sara Bernhardt, Fbedebick A. Obeb, the World's Fair Commissioner to the West Indies, is now at Havana, Cuba. The Captain General of that island has given him au audience and has ap pointed commissioners to meet him, among whom are some of the most prominent men in Cuba. Before returning Mr. Ober will visit almost every island. A HEW OPEEA AT THE GEAHD. A Good Performance by the McCauIl's of Mlllocker's Latest. A' euphonious title, touches of grand opera music, and a colorless plot, even with a capital orchestration bolsterinc up many serious de fects of competition do not constitute opera comique, and Mlllocker's most ambitious work, 'TheSeven Suabians," must be judged weak as compared with other German operas. The con ceit received its first production in this city at the Grand Opera House last evening, the Mo Caull Opera Company lending its capable aid to the same. Tho Idea of tbe libretto in tho or iginal was to create fun out of the varying dialects or ''patois" of the Suabians. Although Mr. Harry B. Smith, of "Robin Hood" fame, has done well under such circumstances, gags and cleverbits of stage business aro mainly relied upon to keep tho merriment up to concert pitch. Mr. Smith made tho comedy part of E.T. Paracelsus a burlesque of Herrruan, tbe ma gician. Mr. W. F. Rochester works hard to make it go, but fails to imitate the grace of the type or roach an unctuous quality of humor. Dfgby Bell does not fancy his parr, but it is cood. and he should pity it and make it better. The general work of tho company was good. Mr. Cbauncey Olcott makes great things of tho tenor role, and sane in a thoroughly dramatic manner, electrifying the auditors with a chest D fl't. Miss Helen Bcriram is evidently destined to fill the void left by lima di Mnreka nr.d since partially tilled bv Z-lia de Lusian. Her voice i betvitchiugly' nueet in i-antante numbers ami yet rings like a bugle call in concerted fortisumi. It is not to be wondered at tbat her autograph upon con tracts for next season is anxiously desired by several iuipressari. Her numbers with Mr. Olcott created a furor. The same opera tonight STREET AND LOBBY. Parrots Are Fashionable Pets at the Present Time A Relic of Slavery Picked Up by the Topical Talker. "Parrots are in high favor as pets." said a young lady in Espich's bird store yesterday. "You wouldn't think it I dare say,' for they seem rather out ot the ordinary run of pets, but hundreds, I might almost say thousands, of parrots are sold in Pittsburg every year. In the summer time, in July and August, we dispose of several hundred a month. The parrots you meet with here come from South America. The green parrots with yellow caps yellow tops we call them are the best talkers. A singular fact about teaching parrots to talk Is that they learn more readily from children than grown persons. Perhaps it is the pitch of the childish voice tbat Polly likes bat I have known it happen time and again tbat a parrot wbo would not listen to a grown-up tutor will ingly picked up whatever it heard the children say. Then parrots have their personal likes and dislikes, and take more kindly to some people than others for no reason that human eye can see. For example, most of the parrots, cockatoos and macaws in this store are given to biting anyone who puts his finger within their reach. But Mr. Wilson, of tbe Seventh Avenue Hotel, can handle any bird here with perfect safety all the parrots seem to have a kindly feeling for him. Nobody can teach a parrot so well as Mrs. T , of this city; in all my experience I never saw her equal, but I cannot tell you exactly in what her power over birds consists. You will find, too, tbat when once a parrot has started to talk it acquires new words very quickly. The difficulty lies in the first word or two; after that has been over come a parrot will catch everything it hears, and more sometimes tban is desirable." A Relic of Slavery. Robert Craighead, of Allegheny, showed a queer relic of slavery days to me yesterday. It is a badge of brass, star-shaped, with four blunt points and stamped with this inscription: S CHABLZSTON V NO. 683. V SERVANT y 181J. V It was sent from the South by a Union soldier to his family in Allegheny daring tbe war. The badge was worn undoubtedly by a slave; on a string or chain about his neck probably, judging lrom a small hole in tbe upper point of the badge. It looks unoommonly like a bag gage check, and the stamped word3 and date 75 years old are still very distinct A Comedian's Trials. "The trouble about the average comedy role in comic opera is that the lines assigned to it are usually the saddest and most solemn of all in tho piece, and tho character itself is not de fined by tbe author beyond the costume," said Digby Belle, the" comedian, yesterday. 'The comedian is worse off than the other princi pals, for they have their songs, which may be musical gems, even if the libretto is the baldest rubbish. So, as a general thing, 1 rather dread having to take a new character in comic opera, because I know that I shall have to invent a character, put expression into dead lines, and run the gauntlet of tbe critics with a string of local "gags' at every town we play in. There is some satisfaction in playing a comedy role in one of Gilbert and Sullivan's operas, for there you may rely upon finding a humorous personality built for you, and in fact all you have to do is to look out tbat you make Gilbert's wit clear to the audience. .No body has yet written a book for an opera to compare with Gilbert's best. Lack of brains may account for this partially, but the poor pay the average librettist gets has a good deal to do with it. I asked Harry B. Smith, who wrote the bright book of 'Robin Hood,' why be hadn't done as well in The Begum and other early effom of his, and be replied: 'What mon could you expect for $200? Gtvo me a royalty and I'll do my very best,' And a royalty is what bo will get in future." Allegheny After Her Bath. "I read about the big flood in the papers," said Arch A. Levitt of Chicago, "and I ex pected to see poor old Allegheny in terrible shape, but as far as Federal street is concerned I am free to say that I never saw it looking so clean in my life before and I am usually here half a dozen time3 a year. The last time I was in Allegheny I remarked that it would take a Hercules of extra strength to remove the mud and rubbish from Federal street. Guess the flood must have been a hummer, for I declare you can see the original cobble stones in the roadway now. and the greater part of the mud has been washed away. From a glimpse I got of some of the cellars near Robinson street a good deal of the real estate must have been transferred from the street to them." Orchards In Peril Again. "If we have a few more warm days and soft rains like we've been having lately," said Mr. Caughey, whose dairy farm lies back of Sewickley, "the fruit trees will be in blossom out my way. The weather, since the flood, has made the grass as green as it should be a month later, and you can see the buds swelling In the orchards everywhere. If tbe trees blossom as they did last year, tbe March frosts will again rob Allegheny county of her apples, her peaches and her pears, and how expensive and unpleasant that is, the oast winter, with apples among the luxuries, has taught us. A cold wave would be welcome for lots of reasons." THE MONSTEE EBHJQE Between England and France Can Be Tory Easily Erected. New Yoric Ledger.! Considering the turbulent commotion of the waters of tho Channel in stormy weather, tne scheme of a bridge between England and France seems a mad proposal. Bat it is to be remem bered that tbe violence of the sea is only at the surface, and that at a slight depth the water is quiet and unmoved, save by tides and currents. After what has been achieved by engineers in building the Forth bridge and other great works, there is nothing of insuperable difficulty in bridging the English Channel. If one pillar can be fixed any number can, for tho sea bot tom has marvelou3ly little variation of depth, except where sandbanks have been formed. The separation of the British Islands from tho Continent by subsidence sufficient to allow the Channel to be formed, is an event of very modern geological time. Tbe French engi neers. MM. Georges Hersent and Reuaud, give satisfactory reports of their trials of the solid ity of the chalk sea bottom. As to tbe shal lowness of tbe water, it has been said tbat there is scarcely a spot in the Channel where, if St. Paul's were planted, tbe whole of the dome would not stand above tbe sea-level. Tbe sandbanks would be bridged over. The piers would be so strong and high as to admit of no risk from passing ships, while there would be a new series of electric light beacons to mark the courses of traffic "We Do the Same. Chicago Mall. Now York has a surplus of murderers, and the electrocution law is still in force, but only one man thus far has been Kemmlorized. New .York is a very humane State; she permits her convicted murderers to die ot old age. Western Wisdom. Helena (Hon.) Journal. Tho Fnnce of Wales debts amount to 18,000, 000. Evidently the Prince needs protection whether England docs or not TEESE1Y TOLD TETJTH3. Indianapolis Ham's Horn.! As long as the devil can make a man believe he is a pretty good fellow he Isn't much afraid of losing him. The devil never tries very hard to get a man wbo has not got backbone enough to follow his honest conviction. The devil never wastes any bait on the man who onlv wants to get cnoa-h religion to squt'tzo into Leaven. , THE man who pats himself on tbe head and tells the Lord tbat ha Is tbe only one In his neighborhood who can be depended upon, will never cause the devil to lose much Bleep on ac count oX bis piety. CURIOUS C0NDENSATI05S. Labor is restless. In 1890 there were 4,000 strikes in the world. Sixty thousand tons of corks ire used for the bottled beer consumed annually in England. The largest county in the United States is Custer county, Montana. It contains 3S.O0O sqnare miles. Two hundred miles up the Lukon river, in Alaska, tbo snow never melts, and is said to be two miles deep. Skunks and coons are the most indus trious chicken thieves in the world and they never steal tough ton Is. A Chinese laundryman in Chicago was recently judged insane because be starched the stockincs of his customers. The wills filed in 1890 show that Lanca shire and Yorkshire aro the great money making districts of England. The beet sugar industry has added a new word to the English language. The word is "entraiument," and means "to carry with." The black rat of Ireland is so rare out tide of Its own country that one was kept tor 20 years in the menagerie of the Paris Museum. In German East Africa there have been discovered numerous stalactite cavern, sur passing anything of the kind known in Europe. Prussia will probably never get out of debt. She now owes $1,450,000,000. Wars and a large standing army are expensive institu tions. What we now copsider the best seats in church those in the middle were in olden time the free seats, aud given over to tbe use of the poor. A Kewburyport, Mass., man is the proud possessor of a pair of pare gum shoes which have been in continuous use in one fam ily for over 60 years. An Irishman who speaks five living languages and two dead ones, and knows his tory from Adam's time up, is a hostler in a St Louis street car barn. A Western newspaper introduces a novelty in journalism and runs a dog column devoted exclusively to accidents and incidents with which canines are connected. Westville. Ind., has a cow which quenches her thirst at the village pump, toss ing the handle of the pump with her horns until sufficient water flows for her needs. The copper mines of the whole world are being taxed to their utmost to supply the demand forcopper wire and the other appar atus used in tbe application of electricity. Lucy Long, a little sorrel mare ridden in many battles by General Robert E.Lee, is still living in tbe South and in good health, save for the infirmities common to extreme old age. A consignment of Ceylon tea recently sold in London for 87 shillings a pound, a price never before reached, and was resold for 5 10s a pound. The tea was of a bright golden color. The first sewing machine was patented in England in 1760, 60 years before the birth of Ellas Howe, wbo is popularly credited with the Invention and who first made it a practical success. White tar is one of the latest inventions or discoveries. It will not become soft under the sun's rays in any climate, and is expected to be used largely in caulking the deck seams of fine yachts. A colored woman who diedthe other day near Colnmbus, Mo., was so old tbat sha had fortrotten her age. When asked about it shortly before her death she said she was be tween 90 and 1ZL There is in Munich a hospital which is supported entirely by the sale of old steel pen nibs, which are collected from all parts ot tbe German Empire. They are made Into watch springs, knives and razors. A Western farmer, after missing the milk from his cow for several evenings, deter mined to investigate the cause and was sur prised when the tbief proved to be a pig.wblch appropriated the contents of the cow's udder. A Brazilian bark which arrived in New York the other day reports seeing SI whales in one day. Some of the monsters were two or three mile3 away, but others came so close to tbo vessel that the fishy odor made the sailors sick. The French Government is reported to have sold to an Antwerp firm the right to mine manganese ore in tbe Pyrenees. At present the only mines in Europe producing this ma terial are those in Greece, tbe Caucasus aud 81egerland, but deposits are known to -exist also in Spain and Portugal. The depopulation of Iceland is going on steadily. Tbe depreciation in tbe value of tbe land has been very marked of late, while the taxes bave been considerably increased, and tbe Icelanders are said to be emigrating lu shoals. The population which was 0,000 ten years ago, is now under 60,000. Richard Godfrey, who lives near Craw ford, Ga., missed a fine turkey hen about Christmas, and he looked for her in despair, thinking that some thief had eaten a good tur key dinner at bis expense. A few days ago the faithfnl old tnrKey came up with a nest full of as fine little turkeys as ever was seen. This, he says. Is the first brood of winter turkeys on his farm. The crews of two vessels off tbe coast of Scotland were the witnesses of an unusual phenomenon recently. All at once green lights maae tneir appearance on tbe yardarms and trucks of both vessels, and then spread from tbe masthead to the jlbstay and thejiboom end. Tbe lights were as large as a common as flame and were separated from each other y a distance of about a foot. A curious test is being made in the coal mines of Cardiff. It is proposed to light the mines by electricity, but apprehension exists that the gases in the mines may be Ignited and an explosion caused should one of tbe little glass globes about the light be broken. When the globe of an incandescent light is broken tho iight is at once extinguished to the eye is seems to expire instantaneously and tbe point to be determined is whether or not tbe thine is so quick tbat gases may be ignited as they rush into tbe vacuum. In 1890 English importation of eggs represented a sum of over 3,000,000. While France and Germany between them sent over 714,000.000 of eggs. England received more than 200.000,000 from Belgium, and nearly 75.000,000 from Russia. From Portucal came 2.000,000. and smaller quantities from Norway and Sweden,. Morocco. Italy, Turkey and Egypt. Malta and tbe Channel Islands also contrib uted, as even Australia bas begun to do, not withstanding tbe eggs from thence must be at least six weeks old before they are put on the Engll3b markets. Showers of blood, though common in the olden time, are very rare at this day. Botween the years 319 A. D. and 1170, 14 different showers of blood and. other sub stances mixed fell in Italy, and in 1222 a shower of blood and dust fell over a large part of the same country. In 1226 snow fell in Syria and turned into gore when it melted. In 1251 a three days' shower of blood fell all over Soutbern Europe, and in tbe same year a loaf fresh from the oven bled when sliced at the table. In 1361 Burgundy had a bloody rain, and Devonshire, England saw a like phenom enon in 145a In 16S8 hailstones which fell In Wurtemberg contained blood in hollow cavi ties. The last bloody shower on record fell In Siam in 1802. FUNNY FELLOWS' FANCIES. Do the Republicans expect General De ficiency to lead them to victory 1 Louisville Cour ier Journal. A candidate for ofiije is very much like a drowning man. All tho mean acts of bis life are quickly brought np before him. Puek. "Howdy this morning?" says an ac quaintance" to a fat citizen, who is blowing and steimlne with great speed along (he sidewalk. Training for a walk?" "No," puffs the fat citizen, turning his bulging eyes neither to the right nor left. "I'm walking for a train." Chicago Stws. "O, Doral" exclaimed Lou, "come and see the birthday present papa gave me." A full-length mirror 1" replied Dora, admir ingly. Yes! Wnatdoyoniblnkoflt?" "I think it will bear looking lato."-CMcago Inter-Ocean. A billiardist uses chalk on his cue. A fine lady uses It on her cuticle. Sew Orleans Picayune. "I married a beggar," she said with a great show of womanly sacrifice. The mischief yoa did," exclaimed her com panion. "He was worth a million." "Hut he was a Beggar, Just the same," she per sisted. 'l)iiln"tbcbcg me for a year to marry hlin!" Washington &tar. ENTERPRISE. He bought a big Peruvian dog And thought to aake his mark, By manufacturing, on the sly, fresh quinine from IU bark. BuJalo-mutt kjgjh& e
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers