ESSl W1 4.'. -V -, THE PITTSBURG- DISPATCH, SATURDAY. DECEMBER 13, 1890. MORROW'S DISPATCH T'Vi into THREE PARTS, containing TWENTY. FOUR 8-column pages. This means 192 columns of READING MATTER. Scattered through this mammoth number will be found the HOLIDAY ANNOUNCEMENTS of Pittsburg and Allegheny' LEADING HOUSES. Every line will be represented. All in search of HOLIDAY BARGAINS will find TO-MORROW'S DISPATCH a splendid SHOPPING GUIDE. The Literary and News Features of TO-MORROW'S DIS PATCH will be found equal to previous Issues in every department Every field of Newspaper and Magazine Literature hat been culled. The special contributions will be Entertaining, Instructive, Amusing. Nothing not calculated to be spread before young and old is permitted to enter the columns of THE DISPATCH. All classes are catered to except the morbid. TO MORROW'S 24-PAGE ISSUE should, in fact It will, find readertat every fireside. A table of contents would fill too much space. Readers can rest assured that TO MORROW'S DISPATCH will give them all they can wish for both as regards variety and quality. Order through the mails, from News Agents and Carriers. Address THE DISPATCH, corner Smithfield and Diamond streets, Pittsburg, Pa. fje B$paWj. ESTABLISHED FEBRUARY 1S4& Vol.43, No. 309.-Entcrcd at Pittsburg Tostofflce, November 14. 1SS7, as second-class matter. Business Office Corner Smithfield and Diamond Streets. News Rooms and Publishing House --75, 77 and 79 Diamond Street EASTEUN ADVERTISING OFFICE, ROOM 3, TKIBUSE BUILDING, NEW YORK, -where complete flies or THE DISPATCH can always be found. Foreicn advertisers appreciate the con venience. Home advertisers and friends of THE DISPATCH, while In iev York, are also made vtelcome. THE DISPATCH is regularly on sale at Erentmo's, 5 Union Square. -Veto Yorl and 17 Are. de F Opera, Paris, Prance, where anyone who has been disappointed at a hotel news stand can obtain tt. TERMS OF TEC DISrATCH. I-OSTAGE THEE IN the united states. Daily DisrATcn. One Year 8 00 Dailt Dispatch, Per Quarter 1 00 Daily Disfatch, One Month TO Daily Dispatch, lncludlns Sunday. 1 year. 10 00 Daily JJISTATCn, lndudln;:SundaT,3m'thJ ISO Daily Dispatch. Including Sunday, lm'th 90 fecssAY Dispatch, One Year ISO Weekly Dispatch, One Year 1 15 The Daily Dispatch Is delivered by carriers at Wcents per -week, or Including Sunday edition, at 0 cents per week. PITTSBURG. SATURDAY, DEC. 1, 1S90.3 A QUESTION OF FACT. The plans lor improving the rivers of the Mississippi and controlling the floods are so far developed in the third paper of the series, primed on the first page of this issue, that a clear general idea of their nature can be formed, and intelligent disenssion begun as to their practicability. The plan briefly stated is this: To convert the water courses into storage reservoirs by movable dams, to supplement the storage so obtained with small basins at the heads of the streams. The idea of controlling floods by means of reservoirs is not new, having been proposed for the Ohio river in 1849 by Mr. Charles Ellet, and later by Mr. Elwood Morris, dis tinguished engineers of that time; these reservoirs, however, were not to be in the streams themselves, but to be reservoirs in the ordinary sense of the term. The plan when proposed was vigorously assailed and iVtlly abandoned, the estimate of its cost being 213,000,000 for the Ohio river alone, to control the outflow, then estimated at only one-third of what is now known to be neces sary. The plan of movable dams to improve the river for purposes of navigation we believe to be approved by the best engineering talent of the time, its estimated cost as ap plied to the Ohio being 570,000,000. The new combination of the old ideas, as set forth in these papers, appears plausible to say the least, and reduces the problem to a question of fact, which may be considered under three heads. (a) Is it practicable to obtain the neces sary storage capacity in the way proposed? The volume of water necessary is deter mined by General Greely, from the gauging of tne Mississippi River Commission, at something over 18 cubic miles for the Ohio Valley alone, in which the great floods of the Mississippi originate. This question can probably be settled irom surveys already made, which ought to give the cubic volume of water courses. (b) Is it practicable to construct and operate movable dams of the great size necessary to accomplish the object? The papers are to contain drawings of dams which the author believes to be practicable, and no more expensive than those proposed to give six feet of water only in the Ohio, to render that stream navigable. It is hoped that these designs or others will meet every requirement, and criticism is invited when they are so far unfolded that they may be intelligently comprehended. (c) Can the improvement be made at a cost commercially possible? The solution of the mechanical problem will probably solve this also. It is well to bear in mind, in this connection, that the plan is not alone to control the floods, but also to so deepen and improve the water courses that they will float ships of the heaviest tonnage, this feature being a natural sequence of the plan of forming the storage reservoirs and adding to the value of the system as a means for controlling the floods, its great value in de veloping our internal water ways to their greatest possible carrying capacity, so pro tecting us from the destructive violence of natural forces, and at the same time freeing us from our present tbralldom to greedy, corporations. TO ENFORCE THE LAW. The decision of Judge Gresham in the Counsel man and Peasley cases affirms the right of the legal authorities under the inter-State commerce act to rcq .ire evidence from those cognizant of its violation, such as the officers of the corporations or the recipi ents of preferential rates. The Judge points out that both the provisions of the act and of statutes protect a witness against prosecu tion on his own testimony; while the plea on behalf of a corporation official that while his testimony would not incriminate him it wonld his corporation, is swept aside by the remark that the inter-State commerce law does not attempt to impose criminal punish ment on that famous class of organisms which have neither bodies to be imprisoned nor souls to be damned. This certainly looks as if there was going to be something like a real enforcement of the law. The fact that there have been gen eral violations of that enactment has been fully disclosed of late, not only by the cases before the courts at Chicago, but by the re port of the Inter-State .Commerce Commis ,MtlonILvfbicb. stated the faet o,cw?ral Tiola- V tion more broadly than any other authority lias yet done. This widespread attempt to nullify the law was plainly founded upon a belief that its penalties would not be en forced. If the law is to be of any value whatever in checking the evils of discrimin ating rates, that idea must receive the con vincing disproof of the imposition of the penalties on every railroad official who un dertakes to violate it. The pleas in the cases decided by Judge Gresham were inter posed to prevent the enforcement of the penalties, and that Judge with his usual di rectness has swept away the legal cobwebs which were spun to prevent the enforcement of the law. As these cases will go to the United States Supreme Courton a writof habeas corpus, it may be hoped that an early decision will be obtained that will make it possible to en force the law. But the United States Su preme Court has of late years come to be a very uncertain body. NEW POUTTCAI, INDEPENDENCE. A novel development in State politics is afforded by the Philadelphia Press, which comes out in a formal declaration that Penn sylvania is misrepresented by both its Sena tors. A good many other people have made assertions to this effect; but when we dis cover the journal which only a few weeks ago was in the forefront of the fight as a. Republican organ, attacking the political attitude of both Senators Cameron and Quay, it awakens in the mind distinct reminiscences of the days of 1882. The reasons why our Senators are regarded by the Press as misrepresenting the people of Pennsylvania is the rather unique one that they do not support the Federal elec tions bill, and that Senator Camerou supports free coinage of silver. It might be supposed that issues could be raised on which the appeal from the Senators to the people could be taken more successfully. The little matter of corporate supremacy in this land, the questions of conducting public affairs in the interest of the people and not of favored classes, and the removal of the offices from politics, are all matters on which an outspoken journal could criticise its own party leaders with the assurance of party support. But our Philadelphia cotempo rary is not jumping on Messrs. Quay and Cameron for any such barren idealities as this. The counts of its indictment are that (1) "the elections bill wasdefeatedat thelast session through the machinations of Mr. Quay and Mr. Cameron, and (2) Mr. Cameron not only supports free coinage, but is re ported to be co-operating with free coinage Senators to defeat tne elections bill and get through a free coinage measure." On these grounds the -Press jumps at the leaders and proprietors of Pennsylvania Republicans, in the following savage style: Is this the leadership which the foremost Republican State In the Union accepts as representing its interests? Is it not enough that Pennsylvania is silent In the Senate when the tariff question is up, and that Senators from other States are left to defend its interests? Are our Senators to go further and actively conspire to defeat a measure to which the party is solemnly pledged, and which the Presi dent of the United States has earnestly recommended in two messages? It is time for the Pennsylvania Senators to halt. The first criticism which we have to make on the Press' deliverance Is as to the fitness of its conclnding figure of speech. "We do not think that even from its own view it really wants the Pennsylvania Senators to halt They have been halting on the elec tions bill, and that is what the Press is pitching into them for. If our cotemporary will select its political metaphors a little more carefully, we will consent to let it fight out with Senators Quay and Cameron the question whether there is that passion ate hankering for the Federal elections bill or that indignant repugnance to free coin age that it imagines to exists among the Republicans of Pennsylvania. But we must urge upon our cotemporary the reflection that it makes this arraignment of Pennsylvania's Senatorial representation at the wrong time of the year. If it really believes that Quay and Cameron are repre senting the State of Pennsylvania, a very effective time to have said so was last fall, when one Senator was trying to win a vic tory for his personal and political machine, and the other was seeking to secure State legislators in favor of his re-election. Other junctures of the same sort have occurred at biennial periods for the last six years or bo, when an outspoken paper could have im pressed Its disciplinary views with refer ence to the Senators very forcibly on the public But the insurrectionary Republican organ has been faithful to the work of pre serving the Quay and Cameron power, and only delivers itself in this fighting style after the battle is over. If the article Quoted from had been published last Octo ber, it would have been very much more effective. Our cotemporary in this way assumes a solitary, gloomy and peculiar position. It has recently abjured Independent Republic anism, forsworn the Mugwumps, and al ways reviled the Democracy. Now it turns around and jumps with both feet imparti ally on the leaders of both wings of Penn sylvania Republicanism. We do not assert that there is anything derogatory in its ina bility to find anyone of the politicians of this State to whom it can tie. "We always had a feeling of sympathy and admiration for the man who found eleven obstinate men on the jury with him. A TEAK OF PROSPERITY; It is worth while to look back over the year now drawing to a close. Such a year of prosperity and progress has never been known in Pittsburg before. A review of the year in detail which appears in another column is most pleasant reading. It shows that everybody who wanted to work found it and at fair wages. There have been no disastrous strikes, no profitless conflicts between capital and labor; harmony has reigned in all the relations ot men in this community for a year past. Among other gratifying' signs of the period is the purchase of building lots by workingmen. It is safe to say that more Pittsburgers own their own homes to-day than there were renters twenty years ago. If 1891 makes no violent departure from the record of 1890 in Pittsburg we shall be more than content A COMPARISON OF GROWTH. The figures given elsewhere, on the sub ject of the relative growth of population of the leading centers, as shown when munic ipal lines are disregarded and the entire communities are included iu the population, are not only very interesting, but quite flat tering to Pittsburg. It appears from this statement that the actual growth of the manufacturing community, known as Pitts burg, was exceeded by only four cities, New York, Chicago, Boston and Philadelphia. The growth of the last city was only about a thousand greater than the growth in Pitts burg, while the percentage of growth "was only a little over half as much. On the same comparison we find that the percentage of growth for this . commdBityy .givw iteyaa-.a:fMliighihte:'Ctt cities of smaller population have exceeded the 35 per cent of Pittsburg's growth during the past decade; but among the larger cities only Chicago and Boston show a greater growth than Pittsburg has enjoyed. "With the additional presumption that our popula tion is actually larger than the census credits us with, the display of growth for our city is extremely gratifying. The value of this method of comparison, and at the same time the injury done to our standing as a city by the present division of our community into the great municipalities and half a dozen suburbs, appears very strikingly in the fact that when the com parison is made by counties Pittsburg ranks in the same class as Boston, Baltimore and St. Louis; while when the comparison is made by municipalities we are ranked with Buffalo, Cleveland, Detroit and New Orleans. PRAISE DUE THE POLICE. The police force of Pittsburg is a more efficient body to-day than it has ever been. The public can see this for themselves. It is a fact that the official figures and state ments which we publish elsewhere abundantly establish. Chief Brown has reason to be proud ot the showing made by his department during the past year, and Pittsburg's guardians of the peace as a body may fairly felicitate themselves. It is also right that Inspector McAleese should have recognition for his share in the good work. Over two-thirds of the arrests made by the police department go to Ihe credit of the First district, over which Inspector Mc Aleese presides, and over two-thirds of the revenues, which exceed the estimate by fifty per cent, from police business emanate from the same district The extinction of the speak-easy in the downtown precincts seems also to have been due to Inspector Mc Aleese's energy, and it is only just that he should receive full credit for the thorough ness of his work. Representative Mason, of Illinois, said in debate the other day that "General Grant needs no monument" This remark may not have been Inspired Dy the New York mil lionaires: but they are acting on exactly that principle. An interesting expose of the relative value of real and nominal authority was re cently afforded in Philadelphia, where the City Councils passed a resolution directing its Rail road Committee to report at the next meeting the Belt Line ordinance. The committee had carefully kept that measure on the shelf these many months, while the Pennsylvania Railroad was maturing plans to bead off the new enter prise. The committee, after prolonged confer ences with the representatives of the Pennsyl vania Railroad, reported the ordinance loaded down with amendments designed to defeat the measure. It is a wise Council committee which knows its own master. A FIGHT with fatal results as an out come of the West Virginia coal miners' strike is an unfortunate but impressive demonstra tion of the dangerous method of settling in dustrial disputes by brute strength. The Governments of the South American republics are sending commissioners to Europe to indnce immigration to their countries. Since the United States has no longer any desire for assisted or contract immigration it might turn its surplus in that line oyer to its South Amer ican neighbors, under the policy of reciprocity. Some people never are satisfied. Two years ago a large and enthusiastic element was declaring its readiness to fight to get into Oklahoma. Now the same people are begging to get ont of It Two and a half millions in gold are com ing across the Atlantic, the tide of exchange having turned the flow of the precious metal in this direction. This will do more to relieve the stringency than any quantity of legislation the first effect of which would be to make the gold go out of the country. If the Point Is to be transplanted to Bellefield, in accordance with a current rumor, it is to be hoped that some effort will be made to improve its architectural appearance while in transit The fight between the Irish factions was appropriately begun in Kilkenny; but the pro verbial Kilkenny method of warfare seems to have been transferred to the Dublin office of that journal which bears the name, hardly in harmony with the present condition of affairs, of United Ireland. Hotels and newspaper offices as the fields of active hostilities are likely to fnrnlsh more amusement to the public than profit to the proprietors. The announcement that the custodians of the Irish parliamentary fund, raised in this country, will hold on to the money until the pending differences are settled, is referred to by a cotemporary as "locking up the Irish money," It may produce a financial stringency among the Irish leaders. ft By the way, was there not a little of the ex post facto prophecy in the Signal Service's prediction of yesterday morning's cold wave? Chicago is now calling on the President to issue bis proclamation inviting foreign gov ernments to participate in the World's Fair. It is certainly to be hoped that the proclama tion will get out within a year from the time when the bill was passed locating the fair at that city. The British Consul at Galveston seems to be anything but persona grata to the Gov ernor of Texas. A New Orleans" professor of what he calls "the new astronomy" predicts that at some time in the future, the sun will rise in the West Possibly even this will take place when Pittsburg gets ler streets cleared of telegraph masts and over-head electric wires. PEBS0NAL INTELLIGENCE. Few people are aware that Prof. Summer, of Yale College, is an Episcopal clergyman. Apropos of tho Ames-West wedding in Boston, the father of the happy groom, Mr. F. L. Ames, has settled the snm of 81.000,000 upon his son as his share in the joyous occasion. Nathan Matthews. Jn.,:Mayor-eIect of Boston, is a lawyer who gives special attention to equity cases, and has the care of some large trust funds. He studied at Harvard and Leip sic, and is 37 years old. Mr- Gladstone is arranging for a grand family gatheriug at Hawardcn for the Christ mas holidays, and, incidentally, the guests will celebiate his birthday. TheX3. O. M. will be 81 years old on the 29th Inst Mb. B- W. Glldeb, the editor of the Cen tury Magazine, commenced his literary career as a reporter at a small salaiy on a Newark newspaper. Ho is the son of a Methodist clergyman, and was for a time employed in connection with one of tho New Jersey rail ways in a subordinate position. The widow of General Custer says that he was the first of American army officers to ex periment on the rattlesnake as an entree. His cook prepared the dish under protest and as the General was eating the dainty he saw the alarmed negro cautiously peering in through a crack of i he tent doubtless expecting to see his master drop down in a fit The new novel, on which Thomas A. Edison and George Parsons Lathrop have been work ing conjointly, will probably be ready for the press in January. Mr. iidlson has taken the keenest interest In the work, and in drawing on bit imagination has hit upon a number of clever electrical devices which he has consid ered it worth- while to patent The book will contain a , number of sketches made bv the in. .jMwttjSMBfr "-rrMlf IffrVaitf SNAP SHOTS IN SEASON. WrrnoTrr donbt Charles Stewart Parnell Is the great modern seizer.. It's In the air, isn't it Not the frost, but Christmas, of course. You feel it, don't youT And so do yon. and you, and you. Can't help but feel it You can seo it too, in the faces of the children, in the features of the aged, in the looks of the yonths and maidens, In tho eyes of fathers and matrons. But tho surest sign is in the big bundles in the arms of the rmiling, contented looking people who dodge in and out the doors of shops and steer their way through the swift moving crowds on the pavements. Again you see it in the anxions gaze of the groups standing before the big windows filled with the handiwork of the men and women who ply the tools and the looms, stir the fires and feed the machines the world over. How they do look through the big frost-streaked plate glass windows, to be sure. Some, many, more's the pity, must be satisfied with a look. A wall of cold stands between their cyos and the glass. Still their faces seem pleased enough to warrant the hope tnat they are satisfied. Others go inside and gratify their every wish. That's all right too. The dollars they spend keep the tools bright, the shuttles flying, tho machines oiled, the fires bright and the fingers busy. The heavier tbe golden shower the brighter the toil er's homo and the fuller its Christ mas tree. So spend away, you of the dollars. Don't be niggardly about It And you of the dimes drop a nlckle here and there, too. Get something for the tree or the stocking. If you can't afford a piano be satisfied with a music box. If we all wore dimonds some of us would want to. wear flints, so lt's.merely a matter or taste and scarcity, after an. Keep up the pur chasing procession; and don't ask the window gazer to move on. This is tho time for looking at the world's wares, not at the world's cares. Photooraphees manage to make a living by making faces. The fellow between two fires gets the best of tho blizzard. The careful, tidy housewife who keeps her kitchen utensils shining is a woman of bright ideas. The Senate is out of Plumb on account of the force bill. Paknell has given the world a first-class Irish stew, It All Depends. .Let the blizzard sing loud as it pleases, Let It blow from morn until night, We don't mind the ice or the breezes So long as the tire shines bright When the snow flies the merry bells jingle. And jollity everywhere reigns; But heavensl how frosty airs tingle When there's not any gas in the mains I An optical delusion A glass eye. We wonder what Succi would give for a dish of succotash. New York has certainly secured Grant's remains. Now she sbonld put something over them to let the people know where the hero's dust lies. The worst thing in the mince pie is the dream. Monet is so tight now that a great many brokers are forced to draw on their imagina tions. Somebody has figured that London's smoke cloud weighs 300 tons, and that the materials it contains aro worth 810,000.000, Bat the calcu lations end in smoke for all that Habd cash That turned out at a mint Ir the weather could be passed through tbe clearing house It might be improved. laughing Water Clearest, Work without murmuring day atter day. Play when you can get a chance. Laugh with the laughers who strive to be gay, Smile when they ask you to dance. This life at tbe best is a fleeting show, Children soon grow to be men; The muddiest water runs clear, you know, After rollicking thro' the glen. Don't mind if your palms are covered with stains Pnt there by bard, honest toll; They can he washed until nothing remains But traces of grime and oil. The heart can be light tho' the hands hard grow. Music's writ with an inky pen. The mnddiest water runs clear, you know, After rollicking thro' the glen. Don't worry because yonr coat Is threadbare, And yonr shoes don't hold a shine; Let your step be as light as those who wear Clothes cut from cloth superfine. Contentment robs life of sorrow and woe, Fast shadows can't come again; The mnddiest water runs clear, you know, After rollicking thro' the glen. Then'whistle and sing when tbe day is dark. Partake of what joys yon can; Tbe rain doesn't silence tho singing lark. Why sbonld it the song of man? Look square at the world with your face aglow. Dismiss the wherefore and when; Tbe muddiest water runs clear, you know, Atter rollicking thro' the glen. It's bard to tell whether the black dot under the veil hides a dimple or a pimple. In winter time, when society amuses itself in the drawing room, the bow window becomes a beau window. A flikt is tbe girl who takes' desperate chances of becoming an old maid. Woman may be frail, but she can bold up her end of a debate with a giant Work develops tbe muscle and study de velops the mind. Football, develops lumps on varions parts of tbe body. IP liars were branded like cattle a great many people would carry sears. Orange belts are as popular in Florida as frost belts are up here. In Ireland if a man wants to secure votes he must first servo a few terms in jail. It's not bard to enter a jail there either. Soke folk imagine they lead a blameless life if they manage to lay the blame for their own faults on the shoulders of others. Small change The baby's extra clothing. Winter's Way. . He asked her for her hand and heart, Her little bands she clapped, And then be saw tho big tears start Because her hands were chapped. Jay Gould has been fined 5100 for refusing to serve as a juror. He paid his lawyers sev eral hundred dollars for trying to get him off. Funny, isn't it? Hian livers The family on tho sixth floor. The only gift which can be dispensed with at Christmas time is the gift of gab. What's In a Name, Anyhow? Snobbs I've received an invitation to dine at Cooke's to-morrow, old fellow. I can take a friend along, too. Boobs What Cooke's? Snobbs Jay Cooke's, of course. Bobbs No, thanks, I'd rather not Snobbs Why, old fellow, the Cookes are nice people, and the dinner is bound to be a success. Bobbs Ob, they're nice enough, but I don't caro about dining at a bouse run by a jay cook, that's all. The wind' is a persistent blowhard. Do .tbe mediums use wrapping paper to pro duce the rapping they talk about? The skunk is stronger than the elephant naturalists to the. contrary notwithstanding. The galleries are not the only things full during hot debatesfn 'Congress; " J .tvSvjasVrf? f n (.& . jA, Dublin. Ink slinging and mnd slinging may be fun for tbe Home Rulers, but it's death for poor Erin. People are too often judged bytheir wealth, not by their worth. Heiresses are blooming out in Allegheny county. They are ripe enough to pick, too. Buffalo Bill has been called off in time to prevent bloodshed out West Bill wouldn't mind killing a few Indians for tbe sake of secur ing a first-class advertisement Well posted The theatrical paper on tho bill boards. An oil pool is perfectly legitimate. The moro tbe merrier. Willie Winkle. OUR MAIL POUCH. Tho South American Correspondent of The Dispatch. Heard From A lady's Long Journey. The following Interesting letter from Fannie B. Ward, tbe correspondent of The Dispatch in South America, contains some information which will bo read with interest Here it is: To the Editor or The Dispatch! Now and then a copy of The Dispatch reaches me in our wanderings, and always affords a great deal of pleasure. I suppose there have been several breaks in my series of South American letters, but only when we found ourselves in out-of-the-way places, where there were absolutely, no postal facilities. For example, we have crossed the Andes at several different points, on our way to remote districts, each time almost living in our saddles three or f onr weeks, and hardly seeing a honso In all that time (except the Government tambos erected for nightly shelter), much less a post office. Our recent journey through Smyth's Channel and tho Straits of Magellan included a fortnight's cruise among the islands of the Tierra del Fuego group, and the innumerable other islands (each one a mountain, tbe last remnants of tbe great Andean chain) that aro scattered all along the Western coast of what used to be" Patagonia till Chili gobbled it; besides a stop at the most southerly town on tbe globe, and a run to the Falkland Islands. u. nen we naa a long trip up the KIo de la Plata, the Parana, and the Paraguay rivers; another to some ostrich farms, sheep and cattle ranches in the far interior of tbe Argentine country, and a visit to Asuncion, the capital of Paraguay, about 1.700 mile3 abovo Buenos Aires. And we are soon going on another expedition, to the remote regions of the upper Amazons. I shall always do my best toward sending tho manuscript as regularly as possible; indwben it is slow in coming, or does not come at all, you maybe quite sure that it is not the fault of my agent at home, or of the printer who sets up the first copv, but because we aro tem porarily "stuck" in some benighted section, from which we are certain to emerge all right, in time lean safely promise that from this time on tbe letter will increase mnch in interest, for I have at last waded laboriously through all the more prosy parts, not feeling justified in printing them, yet conscious that tbe manuscripts were sometimes dull and by no means up to the mark. There is little yellow fever now In Kio, but the weather is excessively hot Yes terday, after a regular scorcher, we went out to ride, between 1 and 6 o'clock p. M., and within not less than two hours' time we saw eight funeral processions, and one nncoffined corpse being carried to the cemetery on a stretcher. The first Congress of the new Republic con venes next Satnrday, November 15. and preparations are in progress for a grand cele bration. This alleged Republic will die yonng, I ike tbe good little boys in tbe Sunday School looks but not from the same reason. Tbe people are too lazy and unstable to govern themselves, and if poor old Dom Pedro were to return to-morrow he would be welcomed with open arms. Tbe present Government seems to bavo gone crazy under the stress of its "brief authority," and continues to hand out ap propriation after appropriation, and concession after concession, to whoever asks for one, ut terly oblivious ot a limit; thongh within only the last month abont 20 times as much money as the whole country is worth has been thus promised. There will come a crash by and by; but meanwhile the few knowing ones will have made fortunes and gone safely away with them. The Argentine Republic is now worse off, having beeu literally "boomed" to death. Its army is completely demoralized, and war is threatened by Chili; exchange is at sneb a rate that for every one of onr American dollars we received at the Argentine banks S3 14 of their paper; business failures and suicides are piti fully numerous, and the hordes of emigrants who spent so mnch money to secure and settle well are rushing away by shiploads. One year in these conntries has taught us many things not least amone them being a better apprecia tion of tbe United states of the North than we over felt before. Fannie B. Ward. Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, Nov. 17. According to Doyle. To the Editor of The Dispatch : In a late Issue of yonr paper, "Constant Reader," of Wheeling, makes an inquiry about tbe privilege of tbe "lone hand" in the game of enchre. For full information of this subject, permit me to refer him to the several editions of "Hoyle's Games" as published by Dick and Fitzgerald, from 1868 to 1890. Referring to the fourteen edition of "The American Hoyle," page 69. we find the following ,law: "41. A player may play alono when be adopts, orders un, or makes a trump; or when hi partner as sists, orders up, or makes a trump." "Constant Reader" is in error when he assumes that a player can order up his partner; be can only order up his adversary. B. B. B. Pittsburg, Dec. 12. A Political Inquiry. To tbe Editor ofTheDIspatch: Please let me know through tbe columns of The Dispatch what this "force bill is." A Reader. Sharon, Fa, Dec. 10. Tbe so-called "force bill" is ajmeasure designed to give tbe' Federal Government tbe control of the registration, voting, count ing and particularly the certification of the elections for members to Congress. Its advo cates admit that it is designed more especially for the South, and say that it will protect the colored man's ballot C. Wins the Wager. To the Editor of the Dispatch: Please inform me through your paper which is right A, bets in case a national bank breaks that tbe Government would pay the de positors a dollar for a dollar. C. bets that it would not Constant Reader. PlTTSBDRO, Dec. 11. AN HISTORICAL I.ANDMAEK. It Commemorates the Famous Fenn Indian Walking Purchase. Henry C. Mercer, of Doylestown, and tbe Bucks County Historical Society, says tbe Philadelphia. Inquirer, have set up a memorial stone at the starting point of the famous "walking purchase" of lands from the Indians by tbe sons of William Penn. On one of the large boulders that surround the base of tho rongh bewn obelisk the inscription reads : To the Memory or tbe Lennl Lenape Indians, Ancient Owners hi This Region, These stones are placed at this spot, the starting point of the "INDIAN WALK," September 17, 1737. This Land Given by Martha Chapman. Backs County Historical Society, 1890. Miss Corden in Robin Hood. Tbe dellghtf ul comic opera of "Robin Hood" was repeated before a splendid audience at the Duquesne Theater last night There is notht lng to add to the praise already given to the work and tbe performers, unless it be to re mark tbe exquisite quality of Miss Juliette Cordon's voice, which was displayed in the numbers falling to tbe lot ot Maid Marion. Miss Corden has improved in every way since her last appearance bere, and she now holds easily a very high position among tho younger operatic stars. DEATHS OP , A DAY. Joseph W. Steel, Millionaire. Ubeensbubg, Dec. 15. Joseph W. Steel, one of the wealthiest and most widely known men in tnli county, died at his home in this place this mornln?, aged 70 years. Mr. Steel was said to bo worth 11,000,000, all or which he made by hard work He was a director in the Merchants and Farmers' National Bank, and owned more farms In this county than any other man. He was well known to all tho coal men In Western Pennsyl vania. Judge T. A. S. Mitchell. Indianapolis, Dec. 12.-Judge T. A. S. Mit chell, of the Supreme Court of Indiana, died sud denly at his home In Goshen this morning of con tention of the bo wrls. Judge Mitchell was the only Democratic member or the JJencb, and was re-elected ror a second term at the recent election. Hlsage wasaboutM. Homy C. Noble. CotttMBUS, Dec-12. Henry CNoble, a promt- ivuiorney. ana urufcuert-ui- ooau,vii jwuic, THE TOPICAL TALKER. Disappointing. J-Ie was desperately in earnest, and she was an attentive listener. All sorts of subjects he bad tried in tbe hope of finding something she liked and could talk about She was a puz zling sort of a girl. Her low, broad forehead and large brown eyes spoke of intellectuality; she was dressed in excellent taste; a modest sil very gray gown not cut too low, and the ab sence of jewelry confirmed the promise of her face. And yet be had tried heron books, on tbe opera, on the cultnre of orchids their hostess was famous for her orchids and her responses bad shown neither enthusiasm nor knowledge. Above the corner of the muslo room in which they were sitting bung a small Corot a little bit of meadow with big trees sheltering a woodman's hut and a dense forest In tbe background. He called her attention to tbe soft twilight effects whicb the great painter had reproduced, and from this drifted into a talk about some pictures he bad seen at a New York sale the week before. To bis delight tho dark eyes lit up for tbe first time and she fol lowed his description of tbe paintings with evi dent Interest "When I was In Philadelphia in October." she said presently, "I saw a picture that I would dearly like to own. It was so full of light and delicious color a goddess in a golden car floating among rosy clouds, tbe loveliest woman I have ever seen. Do you know It? it is a famous picture, I believe; I've seen en gravings of it" "I don't know," ba said. "What i3 it called T" "Let me see It was sunrise and the horses were white'' she said, and the big brown eyes seemed to be looking at something at least a thousand miles away. "Was it 'Aurora V " he ventured. "Yes r ' sho cried. "That's the name 'Aurora BorealisI'" That settled it He allowed her to turn the conversation to the intellectual gameofTid dlewinks without a murmur. Poetic Justice. 1 1 T should like to repay the editor of Carper's Magazine lot his courtesy," said Mr. Son net ".Easy enough to do that," said Mr. Akates. "Howf" "Don't send him any more poetry." Coolness Under Fire. 'The night of the big fire on Liberty street one of tbe guests of tbe Seventh Avenue Hotel was awakened'by the arrival of the fire engines. He did not lose any time in getting up, and running to the window from which he conld look into the burning building opposite. The fire looked very threatening even then and be called to bis wife to get up and dross. In a few minutes they had donned their clothes, and she was preparing to eo down stairs when she ob served that her husband was coolly taking off his coat and vest again. "Why, Henry," sho said, "what are you dolngf" "I guess 1 may as well save my best clothes, If they're all I can carry away," he replied, "and I'm going to put on that new suit I got last week," and there and then he made the change. This suggested another idea to her, and sue proceeded to put on over the walking dress she bad first donned a couple of fine silk dresses, a sealskin coat and a valuable Indian shawl. Thns attired, and it took but a minnte or two, they descended to the office where they happily discovered that the hotel was not in danger after all. A Subtle Insinuation. J)o you think Dr. Preechus was justified iu speaking of Mr. Sloman in that way?" asked she. "Why, I thought he was very complimentary in bis remarks," said he. "Perhaps he was, but be need not have al luded to him so often as the late Mr. Sloman, even if he wa3 always behind time." laid It to Lightning. tjnt Belinda visited Pittsburg for the first time in twenty years last week and sbe has been entertaining tbe family circle at Scarlets vllle with stories of strange sights and perilous passages in the city ever since. "Your Cousin George took me to ride on them cable cars," sbe says, "and tbe way them things tear 'round's somethin' frightful. Scared me a bit but I never let on till the car stopped one time awful sudden. Threw me sideways and I grabbed George's arm. We had to lay there a good while, for they'd run out erlight- nin' 1" Electricity gets tbe blame as well as tho credit for most things these daye. C0MMEECE OP OTTB LAKES. A Greater Tonnage Than That of London and Liverpool Together. The commerce of our great Northwestern lakes, says the Chicago Inter-Ocean, both as to tbe volnme and valne of business, overshadows the combined traffic of all the rivers in tbe world, is greater than the commerce of the Gulf of Mexico and Carribean, Mediterranean and all other seas, and tbe arrivals and departures at tbe port ot Chicago outnumber tbe port of New York for eight months in the year, and of all the other American seaboard ports of entry for the entire 12 months. Hero are some figures which will tend to give an idea of tbe real greatness of the business transacted on the great unsalted seas for the season which came to an end on December 1, 18S9: Annual tonnaee of entries and clearances of tho great seaports of the world for the year 18S9: New York, 11,051,236 tons; all other sea- Sorts in the United States, 20,833,315 tons: iverpool, 14,175,200 tons; London, 19,215,417 tons; tonnage passing through tbe Detroit river (inter-lake connection), 88,203,606 tons. It will tons be seen that the lakes carry 10, 000,000 more tons than, tho entries and clear ances of all the seaports of tbe United States, and 3,000.000 more than the combined foreign and coastwise shipping of London and Liver pool ports open to cratt from all over the world. GETTING CHRISTMAS TBEES. Pennsylvania Supplies Them to Nearly All the Large Cities. The Pocomo Mountams,in Lackawanna coun ty, says the Philadelphia Inquirer, supply tho Cbristmas trees for nearly all of tbe large cities. Over100,000 spruce and tamarack trees will be shipped from that locality during the next few weeks. Most of them go to New York and Philadelphia. The trees vary In height from 0 to 16 feet and they are now lying in huge heaps and rows near the side tracks at the Pocomo Summit and Tabyhanna Mills stations, on tbe Delaware, Lackawanna and Western road. 8cores of men worked all through November to cut the trees in the woods and swamps and haul them out to tho log roads. They were then loaded on largo bark-rigged wagons and drawn to the railroad by ox teams. Tbe shippers pay tbe land owners at the rate of 87 per 100 for the trees as they stand in tbe woods. Between COO and 700 are packed In each car. Last year about 70,000 Christmas trees were sblpped from tho same vicinity. OF LYNN'S BEAUTIFUL PAHX Some Very Suggestive Facts About Its History and Extent Many years ago, writes Edward Everett Hale In the New England Magazine tor December, a private society of gentlemen in Lynn took every chance which offered to buy land which seemed fit for park purposes, tor the common good. ..... Of all this, the upshot Is that Lynn has now what I call the finest park in America. Has any other city a park, close on the ocean, rising often to points more than 400 feet abovo It with precipitous descent perhaps, so that the prospect is wholly unbroken? Nay, on the mere measurement of acres, what other city has in one enclosure 1.CG0 acres, of which you wonld not willingly spare one inch? ATTENTION, VEBMONTEBS. An English Collector Rates One of Your Stamps Very High Indeed. From the rail Mall Budget According to Mr. Palmer, tbe well-known collector in tbe Strand, he" has acquired a won derful specimen of a stamp, which1 he does not hesitate to describe as tbe rarest In the world It is an American stamp Brattleboro, 181& and he says, "I have beard of this stamp, but in the whole course of my experience I have, never seen It before. A specimen of it unused Is rare enough, but I take the liberty of think ing that my Brattleboro is tbe only used' speci men of its kind in existence. I want 369, no lm.'I so bms tfraHHtaraJ",,'! ? rfT.U.. AT THE GERMAN CAPITAL. The Emperor's Futile Attempt to Make Knee Breeches Popular Once More Simplicity of the Menu at Princess Vic toria's Wedding Other Matters. rCOBBESFONDENCX 01" TUB DlSPATCn.3 T3ERLIN, Dec L Princess Victoria's wed ding develooed tbe fact anew how proud tbe Kaiser is of bis English relations. The Queen's Lancers were ordered to act as the bodyguard of the young and lovely fair sex, though a detachment of Hussars from tbe bridegroom's own regiment would have been more appropriate, but tbe Emperor evidently desired to pay a compliment to tbe Queen and tbe many English princes present and so other considerations had to remain In tbe back ground. Knee Breeches Are Not Popular. 'J'HE English fashion of wearing knee breeches at court found fewer adherents than the Emperor had wished for. Only four gentlemen of civilian character among the wedding guests appeared in the proper cos tume. Profs. Anton von Werner, Becker and Menzel, tbe great artists, who ought to have known better, especially distinguished them selves by appearing in the same costume which they are wont to wear at a funeral taking place at 10 o'clock in the morning or at a luncheon. This seems to be a particularly unfortunate in cident as the Emperor, in his memorial on the proper court dress, made a direct appeal to artists on the ground of tbe picturesqueness and the gracefulness of tbe Englist court dress. But then German genius has always been the companion ot boorisbness and a lack of savoir f aire. The Business ot a Minister. 'T'HE Bavarian Minister in Berlin, whose busi ness during tbe last few months has chiefly consisted in converting some ten-pfennig post age stamps into cash for a stranded Munich citizen, will shortly move into new and palatial quarters in Vess strasse. A huge three-storied bnilding has been placed at this gentleman's disposal, and tho ferocious Bavarian lion, familiar to us all on "echte" Bavarian beer kegs, stands guard over tbe entrance. A Traveling Passion Play. The many thousand English and Americans who attended and grew enthusiastic over the Passion Play during the last summer will be interested to know that the identical Ober ammergau performance is now being given by a company ot so-called "Old Bavarian Passion Players" at popnlar prices in many of the smaller towns. The province of Posen has been selected as the first trial grounds by these imitators. If the Polish dog takes kindly to It this new version of tbe "Great Play of Life" may probably be seen on a larger scale in all the capitals of tbe world. I may add bere that none of the oricinal Oberammergaucast Is con nected with the new undertaking, which is simply a private enterprise. Discovery of A Beat Bubens. A real Rubens is reported to have passed into the Cassel City Gallery. The picture is said to have been in a Hanoverian noble family for many hundred years, and was offered for sale by the present proprietor only on ac count of great penury. It remains to be seen if this piece of news, which is almost too good to be true, is corroborated by the art connoisseurs. The New Court Chaplain. pABTOR Dryander's appointment as Court Chaplain in place of Dr. Stocket bas caused a great deal of excitement which has not yet entirely disappeared. It Is unquestionably a popular appointment Dryander U an extreme ly handsome man and a very good preacher, and it is said that his sermons at Bonn made a lasting impression on the Kaiser, who was at that time a stndent at tbe university there. He has, in addition to his personal attractions, a very beautiful voice. The African Disputes. 'T'HE week has brought us among other things a temporary settlement of the affairs of tbe East African Society and the Government, by which it was settled that the company should pay the Sultan of Zanzibar 10,500,000 marks, while the Government collects the Cus tom House duties, paying to the company 600,000 marks per annum. This, of course, means the public most strain, put its band in its pocket and fish ont 12,000,000 or 15,000.000 marks to enable the East African Society to fulfill its contracts with the Government for the society is perpetually bankrupt and a wit once truth fully said: -The only money tbe company ever made was from tbe sale of its queer coins by Eeddlers on Friederick strasse and Unter den inden." But the African humbug doesn't stop there. A company calling itself, "German Colonial Society" petitioned tbe Government for a slice of land in Damara country, situated between the possessions of the Herroros andNamas, which it proposed tn populate with SO German families including 70 men able to wear arms, and butcher tbe natives as occasion demands. Nobody knows who the projectors of the com pany are, but it may suffice to say that we have nearly two dozen similar companies in Berlin alone. I think Herr von Caprivi will not fall an easy victim to any of them. A Boyal Wedding Menu. 'Phis is a literal translation of the bill of fare at Princess Victoria's wedding: Spclse-Karte Menu. Beelsonp with vegetables. Oysters. Fatties. Trout. DeerbacU and Tomatoes. Alsace chicken with mushrooms. Lobsters (fresh), l'heasants with fruits and 6ulads. Artichokes. Apricot puddine. t'neese sandwiches. Ices and dessert. This speise-karte was printed in the German languace, in German letters and there wasn't a bit of French flavor about it A Literary Princess. H. R. H., the hereditary Princess of Mein- ingen, sister of the Kaiser, is the first Prussian Princess who has ventured to drop into print since the Markgravine of Bayreuth wrote her never-to-be-forgotten memoirs. The Markgravine was a slter of Frederick the Great The literary efforts of William IL's sister are. it is hardly necessary to state, of ?ulte a different type from that of this lady, or Princess Charlotte, as sbe Is called bere, 13 one of tbe sweetest and pnrestof women, and a true daughter of her lamented father. Tbe Princess combines ber efforts with those of her husband iu translating German classical works Into the new Greek language. Schiller's "Rob bers," immortalized by Fechter & Lessing's "Emelia Galotti," have just been adapted by the royal pair for the Athens stage, and the Princess Is at the present time busy with the adaptation of "Romeo and Juliet" Some classic French dramas are to follow. LONGFELLOW'S MONUMENT. Delay Here, as In the Grant Monument, Produces Similar Kesults. From the Brooklyn Standard-Union. The wide, open lot in Cambridge, on which the Longfellow statue Is to stand, is partially graded. Some curbstones are laid for the driveways, and there is a half-finished air about tbe whole which betokens plans feebly pushed and disappointed expectations ot funds to be contributed. One o'f the residents of the city recently re marked that the enterprise of erecting a statue to the memory of the poet Irid drageed badly, and tbat the money bad not been contributed as freely as had been hoped. Tbe same trouble was found as existed in the case of the Grant monument and iu regard to other similar en terprises. The time for doing anything Is when the name of tbe distinguished person is fresh be fore tbe public Immediately after the death of Longfellow tbe entire matter of raising money for a popular testimonial should have been put in tbe hands of some energetic per son who would have made a prompt effort and have raised the funds at once. "Strike while the iron is hot" is just as true of honoring dead men's memories as It is of making horse shoes. SC0BPI0NS FOUND IN CANADA. Tho Scientists Are Strangely Contradicted by This Anomaly. Messrs. Bullock and Webster bave, through Mr. Ashdown Green, presented to the British Columbia Natural History Society, says the Victoria Times, a specimen of a scorpion, the first of its kind ever found in Canada. It was taken at their place at Sheep creek, Simil kameen,and Is nearly two inches long. Its sting is a vicious looking instrument The society will consider what species it is. but as Sir William Dawson, the eminent naturalist says that there has never been discovered in this country any such species. It is expected that the B. C. society bave secured a curiosity. A Bit of Advice. From tbe New Yort Press.! Tbe old lesson that Americans make the best husbands for American girls is once moreen forced by the sad experience of the unfortu nate Kentucky' heiress, whose worthless Span ish husband has just fled with the fortune she confidingly intrusted to film, leaving herta- TtfcllMMJMIMHIt IBM ?, CURIOUS CONDENSATIONS. There are 2,750 languages and dialects, The first lucifer match was mads la 1820. The first theater in ihe United States was at Williamsburg, Va., In 1752. On January 1, 1883, snow fell in San Francisco for tbe first time In 17 years. E. Ij. Hicks, of Covington. Ga., claims tbat with one dog he has captured U0 'posums this season. Six boys of one Augusta, Me., family drew their pensions last week, they all having served through the late Civil War, being now gray-headed old men. There are a dozen bathrooms in Wash ington that bave c&st all the way from 51,000 to 310,000 apiece. One Senator's house has nine bathrooms, all of which are finished in ma hogany. The tax on spirits for tbe year 1883 bronght the Russian Government 27S.0O0.00O roubles, about 10.000,000 mora than the preced ing year and 33,000,000 above the average in come ot the ten years previous. The gardener of the Kew gardens, after numerous failures, has at last succeeded in growing tbe Coco de Mer, or double cocoanut, which often attains a height ef 150 feet with a smooth trunk abont a foot in diameter. Among the 35 richest millionaires in tbe United States there are only two who made their money by manufacturing articles pro tested by our tariff laws, and out of the 123 who are worth 3,000,000 and upward, not more than 20 made their money in tbat way. In the year 1772 John Wilson planted a pear tree upon his tarm in West Virginia, a few miles above Wheeling. Judge Gibson L, Cranmer, of Wheeling, says tbat the lower branches of the tree are still in bearing. It 13 still in the possession of the Wilson family. The debt of a Beading, Pa., church has just beeu paid off in 80,000 pennies. Tbe chil dren of the community are the principal suf ferers, most likely, and one can imagine their bitter grief as they look luto their empty money boxes and contemplate the advent of Christ mac. It is said that the largest church income raised in tbe United Kingdom is tbe 10,000 an nually contributed by the congregation of Dr. Whyte. St George's Free Church. Edinburgh, and the largest in the world tbat of Dr. Hall. of Nov York, which amounts to nearly 30,000 a year, Certain New York firms have been trying good-looking women a3 bill collectors. So far tbe scheme has been unsuccessful. Three of the women married inside a week, and four more are engaged, while the balance sympathize with tbe poor fellows who bava run into debt and bave not collected a cent Aroostook, Me., makes some preten tions as a wheat country, says the Aroostook Times. As an Instance of success may be men tioned tbe family of Cyrns Shaw of Mars Hill, which though it consumes 10 barrels of flour yearly, has bought only four barrels ot flour in 11 years, all the remainder being raised on tbe farm. The news from Connecticut is that the the cranberry crop is big and of fine quality, and that it will be profitable to its raisers. There is similar news of this crop from Massa chusetts and from some parts of Kew Jersey. The Amencan cranberry is a wbolesoms and rich-flavored fruit especially tbe bell, the bogie, and the cherry varieties of it In the Volkov fields, near St Peters burg, the Ministry of War has instituted ex. ercises in flying kites. If experience shows; that kites can be made to fly with a certain regularity, small electric lamps will be at tached to them, and tbe cords will be provided with metallic wires, to be used as air telegraphs between distant camps in times of war. The Bussian Ministry of Education has appropriated funds for a central meteorological observatory in Odessa. All tbe meteorological stations of South Russia will be connected with it by wire, and private persons through out tbat region will be requested to report their meteorological observations to that station, whicb will issue daily bulletins, as the central station of St Petersburg does. With the ensuing year the Imperial Library of St Petersburg will begin publishing a catalogue of all the Russian books it contains which was issned from the press since tbe art of printing was introduced into Russia. The catalogue will be published in periodical in stallments, under tbe editorship of a learned commission appointed for the purpose by tha Ministry of Education. The Ministry of Imperial Property has prohibited the manufacture of oleomargarine in Russia. The article will be allowed for sale only m exceptional cases, and then it will have to be kept in vessels painted a certain color, so tbat everybody should at once know what It is. A fine of 500 roubles will be imposed on tbe merchant who sells oleomargarine for butter: at the repetition of the offense his license will be revoked. ST Some of the most valuable processes have been discovered by the merest chance. That of whitening sugar is one of them. A ben tramped through a clay puddle and then got into a sugar house and walked across tha sugar. Homebody noticed that wherever ber feet bad been the sngar underneath the tracks way whitened. This was a hint and after con siderable experimenting wet clay came to ba used as asugar refiner. The first ancestor of the bicycle and tricycle, the velocipede, was born in France, in tbe stormy days of tbe Revolution. Tbe ma chine was a very simple and even clumsy one. Tbere were no pedals attached to the wheels; these were not invented tiUlSoo. The rider strnck each foot in turn against- tbe ground with force enough to set the two low wheels of tbe machine rotating, and by this fatiguing mode of progress attained a conslderabla speed. Upon the 700,000 acres of land em braced In the counties of Belmont Harrison and Jefferson, Ohio, devoted to agriculture, there was produced in 1883, 3,500,000 bushels of grain. 2.000,000 bushels of fruit 2.100,000 pounds or wool. 77,000 tons of hay. 933,000 nonnd3 of to bacco, 1,100,009 pounds of butter, 500.000 bushels of potatoes, 1,300.000 dozen of eegs, 370,000 gal. Ions of milk, 21.000 gallons of molasses. 30,000 founds of honey and 470,000 pounds of grapes. t produced and sustained withal an aggregate of 500,000 head oi live scock ana millions ot fowls. It is a matter of surprise that no at tempt has ever Deen made to utilize for foreign commerce the immense quantities of bamboo which grow spontaneously on the margins of the rivers which flow into the Bay of Honduras. These beautiful trees many of them 60 feet bigb, 4 to 7 inches in diameter, and straight as arrows bend gracefully from either side of the stream, their brilliant foliage interlaced with flowering creepers and vines, forming archways under whicb man and beast find a grateful retreat from the sun. POINTED AND WITTY. A young man who married a "butterfly of fashion, ' was unable, a year later, to provide fcrub" for his butterfly. Sorristoum Herald, Ernestine What is the one fault you hava to find wth Charlie? Celestlne Hone of the other girls are in love, with him. Jlunsey's Wetkly. "Are yon a suitor for Miss Brown'! hand?" Yes. but I didn't" Uldn'twhat?" "Suitor." Munsey't Weekly. It is generally admitted that thepyro technlcal display at the dedication of the Rett Tort World building on Wednesday night snr. passed anything that had been seen since tbe last edition of tha paper came out PMtadelpMa Inquirer. "I can't imagine why men's pockets ara so easy to get at and women's so bard," here marked. It's plain enouRh." was ber reply. 'It's a sign men have nobaslness with a woman's pocket, but a'.woman has with a man's. "Philadelphia Times. Mr. Cates (of the moonshine district) Yon started t' marry ns this morning', parson, an' got as far as asxln' us whether we'd her each other when her ole man came no. The Parson I did. Mr. Cates Well, we've swum Snake river, elnmover Bald mountain, an' waded Slmm's swamp: an now that we've shook him. we wanter say 'yes' an' wind up th' ceremony, Judgt. Mr. Bloobumper Did you enjoy the ser mon, love? Mrs. Bloobumper Oh, It was exquisite, but I would have enloyed It better if I'd had as pretty a bonnet as Mrs. Gimp's to wear. Mine's a per fect fright and so old fashioned. Mr. Bloobumper I guess you didn't notice what tbe minister said about envy. Mrs. Uloobumper-Well, I don't care I One can't cultivate the Christian virtues with only tv bonnets a year. Mi. Bloobumper Well, if I made my money as unscrupulously as Gimp makes his. I could afford to let yon t all tbe bonnets your heart could de sire. ' Mrs. Bloobumper I cues you didn't notiea what tbe minister eatd abest love aad ebarttf. . ,.-.. -wM MMaff'f ! IT Wrti'M iT !' mm'
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers