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THE KTTSBTIR6 DISPATCH. "WEDNESDAY. " NQVEMBER 26. 1890.
Wlje Bigpatcrj.
ESTABLISHED FEBRUARY fc, 1818.
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riTTbBURG. WEDNESDAY. NOV. 26, 1S90.
THE TORY PROMISES.
The Qncen's speech, at the opening of
Parliament, outlines an Irish policy which
indicates that Salisbury is tentatively con
templating the possibility of repeating the
famous acts of Feel and Disraeli in stealing
the Liberals' policy.
The Queen's speech foreshadows a meas
ure "for augmenting the number of owners
engaged in the actual cultivation of land;"
for "facilitating the transaction in Scotland
and Ireland of the more important stages of
private legislation afiecting those coun
tries," and for "the enactment of the reform
kvstem of county government in Ireland
analogous to that put in operation in Great
Britain." -These expressions give a Tery
vide latitude as to the actual measures
which may be introduced; but they cer
tainly look in the direction of a reformed
land system and the establishment of local,
self-government. They do not reach the
full measure of home rule; but they make
an approach to it, which, the Tory ministry
evidently hopes, may prove a sop to the
popular opinion so strongly setting in that
direction.
There are two vital obstacles to the prac
tical success of this policy. The first is that
Salisoury is neither Feel nor Disraeli. He
may be a more conscientious and consistent
xaau; hut he is destitute of that brilliant
versatility which enables a statesman to
throw overboard his convictions and swal
low his record in order to steal his op
ponent's thunder. The second is that half
measures never succeed. "When Feel re
pealed ttie corn laws and Disraeli brought
in the reform hill, both took the entire
dose. The present premier is trying to get
off -.villi a partial application of the Liberal
policy. That is no doubt all that he can
get his supporters to swallow; but it will
not serve his purpose by being accepted as
a substitute for home rule.
Finally the difference between the prom
ises oi the Salisbury government and its
per ormance in the shape of measures
actually passed is already a characteristic
of the present Tory ministry. The promises
throw a sop to the popular demand; but they
will cot be taken as worth discussing at
length, until they take the form of actual
legislation.
CONMM1TION IN PITTSBURG.
During the last ten years there has been a
marked decrease in the number of deaths
from consumption in Pittsburg. The statis
tics which will be found in our local
columns to-day make this clear, bnt the
cause of the decrease is not equally plain.
It is somewhat significant that this decline
has been coincident with the general intro
duction and use of natural gas. Doctors
have remarked heretoloreon this coincidence,
and some have declared ttieir belief in the
favorable influence or natural gas as a heat
ing agency upon the human system. Other
medical authorities have taken the opposite
Ticw, and it must be confessed that no per
fectly convincing or conclusive arcuments
lave been made by either party. The fact
remains, and it is an agreeable one, that
consumption docs not claim as many victims
in Pittsburg as it used to do. It is also true
that the jiercentage of deaths from this cause
in the total deaths in Pittsburg is less by
more than one-third than that of Philadel
phia. At the same time consumption is not
fo rare a disease in this city as to make Dr.
Koch's experiments with inoculation other
than deeply interesting.
THE REAL RULERS.
It is instructive to find in an editorial
eoincient on Mr. Dcpew's speech at the Nw
York Chamber of Commerce banquet, the
statement: "According to Mr. Depew the
kings of finance are the real rulers of the
world." Tnis idea was brought out in con
nection with the assertion that the recent
monetary troubles were overcome and the
panic averted "without the aid of cabinets
or secretaries." In this fact Mr. Depew
found the best guarantee of the brotherhood
of nations and the promotion of universal
peace.
There is much truth and force in this
view; but unfortunately the event from
which Mr. Depew drew his roseate figure of
speech, inevitably presents the kings of
finance in entirely another view. We have
heard a good deal lately of "Napoleon's of
Finance;" and it is pertinent in connection
with that and Mr. Dcpew's comparison to
remember that the Napoleon who provoked
the laughter of Europe by a fiasco in the at
tempt to seize the absolute power in Prance,
afterward earned his coveted throne
by a historical coup d'etat in
which force and chicanery were
equally prominent. We have enjoyed
the joke of laughing at our Napoleons of
the stock market who came to grief even
more hopelessly than tee nephew of his
uncle did at Strasburg or Boulogne; and we
can now complete the parallel by contem
plating with sobered thoughts the success
of more wily Napoleons to whose rulership
IMr. Depew attests, and who have gained
an overpowering prominence by a career of
alternate deception and defiance of law
wnich indicates their full right to the Na
poleonic title.
It is certainly a matter for solid reflection
when we find the leaders of finance who
chare the rulership of the world, and who
have gained that power by the thinly dis
guised robberies of stock manipulation and
the persistent illegality of favoritism in
railway rates, pursuing the Napoleonic
policy by attacking fresh corporate realms,
bringingthemtotherergeolruinand then an
nexing them to their financial empire. AVith
tuck a demonstration of financial ralersaip J
on the part of Messrs. Go did and Kocka
feller, as the monetary events to which Mr.
Depew referred, his assertion that they are
the real rulers, becomes charged with weighty
reflections; and the common people may well
ponder the statement that such rulership is
altogether too much an the Napoleonic order
to leave onr democracy an existence in
anything they form.
Critics of corporate abuses have been
charged with demagogic appeals to preju
dice in asserting that we are under the rule
of the money kings; but Mr. Depew's asser
tion in connection with the rise of the Gould
Bockaf eller financial empire, is an unwitting
statement to the same effect, thatlendsa new
force to the inquiry whether the creation of
such corporate monarchies can be permitted
with any respect for the'prcservation of Re
publican institutions.
THE HUNGARIAN EXAMPLE.
The Hungarian zone system of railway
fares is attracting considerable attention in
this country as a novel system of regulating
charges. According to the statements
which haTe been published, it applies only
to passenger traffic, nnd operates as follows:
Prom a given central point, the area within
the first fifteen miles constitutes the first
zone, and each succeeding zone has width of
about ten miles. Tickets arc sold good from
the central point to each zone and from one
zone to another, and can be used to any
station within the terminal zone. The rates
reported for third class passage arc surpris
ingly low for the short distances, and in
crease by such slight additions that the
salient feature ol the system is really tho
cheapness of passenger rates.
It is claimed that the zone system permits
a diminution of the number of tickets which
a central railway office nmt keep on hand
from an average of about TOO to 92, and that
under the system the tickets are placed on
sale like postage stamps. These two features
make a large decrease -in the expenses of
ticket agencies, and thus make up in part
for the lowering of rates, which is exempli
fied by the statement that the rate under
this system tor a distance like that from
New York to Chicaeo would he only $2 92.
The effect of this reduction which, it shonld
be said, is on the Government railways oi
Hungary, has been to increase travel so
enormously that the receipts of the railways
are 18 per cent larger than under the old
system.
So far as the division of railway distances
into zones is concerned, it is evidently
based on the same principle as that applied
in the establishment of the forty-mile
radius on the coal traffic of this vicinity.
The advantages and disadvantages of that
form of the principle was fully discussed
about a year ago. There is an apparent
hardship in charging a shipper who ships
freight 110 miles as much as the one who
ships it 190. The application of the system
as it is amplified in Germany, would in
both freight and passenger traffic meet the
complication that our railroads make
rates for distances running up into
the thousands of miles, while the Hungarian
system only covers a territory about half as
large as that over which the Pennsylvania
Kail road's system extends. If the railroads
of the United States should undertake to
apply the zone system in either ten, twenty
or thirty mile zones all over the country, it
would come nearer to establishing a pro
gressive distance tariff than anything which
has yet been proposed.
The really salient feature of the Hun
garian system is its demonstration of the in
crease of business that can be secured by &
radical reduction of rates. The same lesson
has been taught in this country by such
steps as the reduction of fares by cable roads
and the increase of travel when rate wars
cut passenger fares in two. The rime prin
ciple has operated in the freight business,
for, without resorting to the form of the zone
system, except in such scattered instances
as the radical rate already referred to, the
railways of this country have reduced
freight charges to a lower level than in
Europe, and have found an immense advan
tage in doing so. Por some reason, perhaps
because the American sovereign, when he
travels, cares more to do it in princely
st)le than to make his money take
him as far as he can, there has
not been a proportionate lowering
of passenger rates. The Dispatch has
heretofore expressed its conviction that if
passenger charges were brought down in a
degree corresponding to freight charges the
railroads would find the increase of travel
more than adequate compensation for the
reduction; and the Hungarian example is a
corroboration of that claim.
In view of the fact that certain gentlemen
seem to think that the division of railway
distances into zones contains the especial
charm which makes such a reduction possi
ble, it is worth while to point out that the
zone feature is merely a form, and not
necessarily the form best suited to the long
distances of onr railway system. The reduc
tion of office expenses effected by the Hun
garian system could be more radically at
tained by making a universal mileage
ticket at such a rate as would attract the
traveling public, while for those who wish
to take a stated short jonrney daily, our com
mutation system duly liberalized can reach
the same end. The vital lesson which we
can learn from Hungary is that a radical
and general rednction of passenger charges,
accompanied by a universal pruning of
costly agencies resulted in increased earn
ings. That is an example which the rail
roads can follow, and will follow, when
competition makes them.
FREE TRADE DfCONSISTENCY.
The questions arising out of the -election
having somewhat palled on its taste, the
Chicago Herald, which is of the most ultra
free trade stamp, returns to its oft refuted
attack on the sugar schedule of the McKin
ley bill. This is a sore spot to the tree
trade journals, apparently because it took
off the protection from a small knot of Dem
ocratic producers in Louisiana. The Herald
keeps up the old attack by making two as
sertions in extenso which can be condensed
into the following form: First, the duty of
a half cent per pound on refined sugar is
unnecessary, or, as the Herald puts it, is "a
clean gift to the sugar refiners," and second,
that the duty on raw sugar was a revenue
duty because five-sixths of it went to the
Government. "This," declares the Herald,
"has been thrown away and in its stead is a
protective auty oi half a cent"
There is a foundation of truth id these as
sertions which isso mixed up with erroneous
assertions as to lead to an altogether false con
clusion. It is correct that five-sixths of the
tax on raw sugars went into the Treasury;
but it is not correct that by the repeal of
this duty the money is "thrown away." By
so asserting, the Herald impeaches the pub
lic document which inaugurated the tariff
fight. It was President Cleveland who
commenced the struggle, by asserting that
it was wrong to keep up duties which
yielded a revenue in exccs3 of the needs ol
the Government. This principle was con-1
ceded, the only question being -as to the
method by which revenue was to be re
duced. It has been reserved for the Demo-
cratic prejs to deny the sincerity of that
argument by claiming tnat in the work of
reducing the revenue it is wrong to repeal a
duty which yields revenue to the Govern
ment, The tax will not be thrown away,
but will, as is right, be left in the people's
pocket. It is a fair example of the relief of
the people from unnecessary taxation that
the total duty on the people's sugar by the
late tariff was 3Jf c per pound; by the Mills
bill 2.8c; all of wbfch was removed by the
McKmley bill except a half cent per pound.
The Dispatch daring the consideration
or the McKinley bill freely expressed its
belief that the duty of half a cent on refined
sugars was more than necessary for the pro
tection of refiners. But the Democratic
misrepresentation on this point is illustrated
by the assertion of the Herald that it is en
acted in the stead of the revenue dnty on
raw sugars. The new duty does not take
the place of the old duty on raw sugars but
it takes the place of the difference between
the duties which the refiners formerly had
to pay on their raw sugars and the duties on
refined sugars by which they were protected.
A complete test of the Democratic sincerity
in attacking this duty is to be found in the
comparison of the protection which it affords
with that given by the margin between the
duties on raw and refined sugars, both in
the old tariff and in the Mills bill. By such
a comparison we find that the protective
margin In the old tariff on refined sugar was
from 1 to 1.7 cents; in the Mills bill from
C-10 to 1.2 cents, and by the new tariff
cent per ponnd.
The sugar schedule of the MrKinley bill
was not all that The Dispatch advocated;
but both in the way of removing unnecessary
taxation and of lessening undeserved pro
tection it is a great improvement on the
the present tariff and on the Democratic
policy as exemplified in the Mills bill. By
attacking a measure with such character
istics, the free trade press give the lie to
their own professions of desiring to take the
taxes off from articles of universal con
sumption. GIVE KOCH TIME.
Dr. Damra's attack upon the Koch theory
of tuberculosis and its cure will be ot es
pecial interest to doctors, but is slightly be
yond the average layman. It will strike
everyone, however, that the methods of Dr.
Koch have not been tested sufficiently to be
criticised in the positive style adopted by
Dr. Damm. It Dr. Koch's discovery is not
yet proven an immense blessing to man it is
not fair to call it a fashionable craze.
GLADSTONE OX rAKNELL.
Gladstone has declared himself against
Parnell's retention of the leadership of the
Irish Home Bule party. In positive
though temperate terms Gladstone states bis
opinion thai it were best for the cause he
has served so splendidly thatFarnell should
retire. This decision has reached the public,
for whom oi course it was intended, by way of
a letter written by Gladstone to his colleague
in the House of Commons, John Morley.
It is evident tnat Gladstone hoped to have
been saved from doing what he regards as a
painful duty by the voluntary retirement of
Parnell, and the prevailing tone of the let
ter is eloquent of Gladstone's regret that
circumstances should have compelled him
to speak. The importance of Gladstone's
action cannot be denied, and the far-reaching
results will be watched most anxiously in
this country as well as in Great Britain.
The fate of the alliance between the Irish
Nationalists and English Liberals is hang
ing in the balance.
TO KEEP GAS BILLS DOWN.
The advance foreshadowed in the price of
natural gas may be discounted largely by
the general adoption of gas-saving appli
ances by the consumers. Some sensible ad
vice on this subject is offered by the gas
companies' officials in our columns to-day;
advice that may well be taken whatever the
motives of the advisers, or however the
necessity for raising the price of gas may be
questioned.
CHICAGO'S GRAND SQUABBLE.
The display of pettiness, had temper and
jealousy in connection with the Chicago
World's Pair continues. Secretary Blaine
had the temerity to endeavor to help along
the Pair in relation to South American
exhibits, but he has been forced by the
managers of the Exposition to abandon his
plans. Big salaries, big heads and big
rows seem to be the salient features of the
Pair's management so far. A little com
mon sense, courtesy and genuine co-operation
would be a pleasant change in Chi
cago's councils.
The name of Chauncey F. Black is
brought forward by the Wilkesbarre Sunday
Leader, as the proper one to select for the
Democratic nomination for United States
Senator. The ex-Lieutenant Governor's gallant
advocacy ot Democratic principles, his active
and disinterested work In the last campaign,
and his especial championship of pure ballot
reform, fully quality him for this compli
mentary nomination, if he is not tired of accept
ing nominations which result in rather barren
honors. Certainly Mr. Black's creditable posi
tion as an earnest and constant supporter of
pure Democracy entitles bim to whatever
recognition the party has in its power to be
stow. . The publication of the fact that the In
dian Messiah is a good Indian gives proverbial
authority for believing that he is a dead In
aian; but the facts do not seem to be that
way. Good or bad. dead or alive, the ghost
dances go on with the usual savage persistence.
Theke is a depth of unconscious satire
n the argument of Roger M. Sherman before
the United States Supreme Court on last Friday
that threatens to escape notice. In support of
his claim that an electrical execution is a cruel
and unusual punishment, Mr. Sherman cited
the case of a lineman in New York who was
sabjected to a snoot of 2,000 volte In front of
the Park Theater, but did not die instantly.
The assertion by a corporation lawyer that his
clients, the electric light companies, aro sub
jecting their employes to cruel,unusual and
fatal punishment, Is a rather surprising in
stance of things that were better left unsaid.
The statement that it was at the applica
tion of Lord Wolseley that Stanley made Bart
telot bis lieutenant foreshadows the infliction
of an article from that noble strategist declar
ing Barttelot to be the one really great explorer
of the present age.
It is painful to find our esteemed cotem
porary, tne Philadelphia .Keeord, while Indulg
ing in some mathematical statements on the
vote in the second Tennessee district, commit
ting itself to the assertion that "while the
Democratic vote decliued 50 per cent, the de
cline in the Republican vote was upward of 1D0
per cent." According to this the Republican
vote was less than nothing; yet it seems to be
the paradoxical fact that the Republican can
didate was elected.
The reappearance at this especial junc
ture of the old story of the boys who want to
tight Indians is not so much a proof of pugnac
ity on the part ot the boys a of sterility of In
vention on the part of the reporter.
The statement that Chicago will raise
$0,000,001) for the World's Fair by the sale of
city bonds, "as soon as $3,800,009 has been guar
anteed by private ubecrtption, -which -will sot
be long," is calculated to provoke an earnest
inquiry as to what has become of that 8.000,
000 guarantee fund, on the alleged strength of
which the Fair was located at Chicago. Was
the 53,000,000 entirely wind?
The market master, who declined to give
two burly Britons fighting room in the South
side market house yesterday, of course did his
duty. Hutu hat a lot of fun hemissedl
Some papers are expressing the opinion
that it does not make any difference whether
the National Unard Is paraded at Governor
Pattison's Inauguration or not. Nevertheless
we havo the assurance of the Republican State
Chairman that for a Governor to neglect any
method of making a big parade at his inaugu
ration is "demagognery."
So IT seems that President Cleveland
has at last arrived at that stage of his career
where the public man discovers that be has
written one too many letters.
i
The political organs of Philadelphia are
raising an agitation for "a new Philadelphia."
Perhaps one of the most direct methods to es
tablish the desired end would be to clean out
the gang of politicians that stuffed ballot boxes
to order in the old Philadelphia; bat the organs
do not appear to include that reform in their
programme.
The warm weather of Monday and Tues
day brought down the price of turkeys. The
gentle birds themselves will go down to-morrow.
Chandler's plan of calling the old
Legislature of New Hampshire together to pre
vent the Democrats coming Into power, by
virtue of the election ot a new Legislature, is a
version of the Republican policy of legislating
party control ttat will retnrn to plague the'in
ventors. PERSONAL MENTION.
Jules Verne is tho author of 21 novels.
Wautj, the sculptor, whose statue of Greeley
was lately unveiled in New York, has on hand
statues ot Beecher. Conkllng and Sheridan.
GoVeksob-elect Rtjssei.1,. of Massachu
setts, has appointed Colonel Charles H. Tay
lor, publisher of the Boston Globe, as his chief
of staff.
Captain Duxwoodt, of the Signal Serv
ice, is being talked off as a possible Superin
tendent of the National Weather Bureau under
a civil regime.
Cardinal Gibbons has sent a communica
tion to the Catholic clergy directing that
special services be held in the churches on
Thankseiving day.
Mes. Isabel Poland Rankin, daughter of
the late Luke P. Poland, has giveu to the town
of Morristowu, Vt., 1,000 toward a library
which is being established there.
The wife of Frederick Douglass delivered
an address on Hayti before a colored high
school in Washington last week, her talk being
illustrated by magic-lantern views.
WHILE the ex-Emporor of Brazil, Doin Pedro,
was attending the scientific lectures and meet
ings at Paris, the furniture in his former palace
of Bon Vista was being sold at auction.
Daniel Scams, the colored millionaire of
San Francisco, ana perhaps the wealthiest
member of his race in the United States, was
formerly a steward on a Mississippi River
steamboat.
Eugene Fiixd has arrived back from
Europe, and anions the curios he has with
him is an axe with which Mr. Gladstone felled
many trees at Hawarden, its genuineness at
tested by a note from the G. O. M.
Alfred Russell, of Detroit, one of the
ablest lawyers in Michigan, is among those re
cently thought of in connection with the
vacancy on tho United States Supreme Court
bench. He Is said to have the support of Sec
retary Proctor and a large number of prominent
men, and when in Washington last week called
at the White House in company with Secretary
Blaine.
Count Alexander SzEcnxiryi. who was
given up as lost, is soon expected at Vienna,
Austria. The rumor was recently circulated
that be had been assassinated at Honolulu.
The Count has brought back from his distant
voyages more than 1,000 photographic views
from countries from which had not been
visited by Europeans since the times of Cook
and Vancouver.
SECBETAEY STONE'S BEPOBT.
An Interesting Variety of Subjects Treated
of in tho Document.
fSrECIAL TELEGRAM TO THE DISPATCH.'.
Harrisburg, November 23. The aunnal
report ot Secretary of the Commonwealth
Stone, says: The receipt, examination, com
pptation and compilation of election returns
involve a va3t amount ot labor and consume
much time. This labor is much greater than it
need be, growingout of the fact that tho blanks
used in the different counties aro not uniform
and there is a surprising lack of care apd cor
rectness in preparing and making out the re
turns sent to this department. To illustrate, at
the last general election the returns ot all the
counties in the State but seven were found in
correct in some particulars and had to be re
turned for correction. To insure uniformity
and to avoid ss far as possible these errors. I
suggest that authority should be conferred
upon the Secretary of the Commonwealth to
prepare uniform blanks for election returns of
all State elections and of all judicial and county
officers required to be commissioned and that
these blanks ,be furnished to the several
counties."
The number of commissions of all kinds
issued since December 18, lSS8,was 4,311. Of
this number 2,054 were to justices of the peace;
003 to notaries public and 43 to commissioners
of deeds. There will be issued during the next
month 411 commissions to the judges and
county officers elected at the general election
held November 4, 1KX).
The number of death warrants Issued was 13.
respites 29, death sentence commuted 7, pardons
issued 49. From the Eastern Penitentiary 1,011
persons were discharged on orders lor deduc
tion from the sentences of prisoners on account
of good behavior: 430 from t"ie Western Peni
tentiary and 4S8 from county prisons.
The character of railroad business transacted,
follows: Railroad charters granted 84, railroad
charters amended 2, street railway charters
granted 159. street railway charters issued on
.acceptance of tho act of 1889, 85.
HEARD IN COURT.
A Slate Company That Claims Exemption
From State Taxation.
ISrECTAL TELBORASI TO THIS DISPATCH.!
Harrisburg, November 25. The case
against the East Bangor Consolidated Slate
Company, doing business in Northampton
county, was argued in the Dauphin county
court to-day. The company contended that it
was a manufacturing corporation, and as such,
exempt from taxation; its business being to
manufacture and marbleize slate, which it digs
from its own mine. The Attorney General in
sisted that that portion of its capital .sited
in its mine did not come under the manufact
uring exemption. No decision was readied.
A case of quo warranto against Alexander
N. Hartt, of Johnstown, was argued. On be
half of the Commonwealth, it was argued that
Hartt does not live in the ward In which he is
actinc as magistrate, and that, therefore, he
could not legally act. On behalf or Hartt, it
was contended that his house had been washed
away by the Johnstown flood and he had con
templated moving into another one in the
proper ward, which he proposed to rent as soon
as its erection was completed. His attorney
thought that the law ought to consider the
necessities as well as the law and equity of the
case. The Court reserved its decision.
"GHOST DANCE" DES0BIBED.
A Woman Missionary Writes of the Orgies
of the Indians.
Boston, November 25. A letter has been re
ceived by the American Missionary Association
from Miss M. C. Collins, whose regular station
is on Grand River, Dakota. She wrote Novem
ber 15 of the present Indian excitement: "I
have been -up to Sitting Ball's and the dance is
in f nil blast. It Is a most terrible thing the old
sun dance with a newname. They dance facing
the sun as long as possible and fall down, moan,
groan, whoop and foam at the mouth like mad
nogs. They do not yet cut the bodies, but that
will ooo come. The men dress iu war dress
and paint and feather,nd the women also take
part and paint and wear feathers, which is a
new feature."
Miss Cellini states that fitting Bull has told
the Indians to pay no attention to the orders of
the agent or of the President: that ho would be
witch the ammunition of soldiers so the cans
won't kill. He is thoroughly bad.
SNAP SHOTS IN SEASON,
A woma;!' can have two strings to her how,
but she shouldn't have two beaux.
We like to laugh, don't we? It's not bard to
makeuslauKh, either. It you don't believe
this just drop into some of the places of amuse
ment where jests and antics take the place of
set speech and mind absorbing plot where
tho comic side instead of the serious side of
lite is turned to the audience. Such
places aro crowded with men of all ages, of all
conditions, of all fancies. The beardless youth
touches elbows with the graybeard, the plow-
boy jostles the city dude, the sober-faced man
rubs acainst the fellow of tho laughing eyes. A
great place to test the good natnre and study
tho human race, to be sure. And there they
sit in silence, all eyes focused on the footlights,
awaiting the ticklers. First an awkward
movement spreads a smile over the fixed faces,
then a ludicrous situation draws forth a ripple,
next an a,s;ed joke brings a merry laugh, finally
a siiarp point is lost in a roar. And then the fun
grows fast and furious. Laughs after the open
ing outburst are not hard to secure. The
melancholy looking fellows are red-faced and
misty-eyed; the good-natured faces are mirth
wrinkled; the small boy is shrieking, the old
fogy is roaring. It's in tho air. No harsh
words, sour looks, angry glances there
all lost in the laugh which
links the soul to the sunshine. The mirth
makers, too, join in tho merriment, and good
nature reigns supreme. It's a cheerful sight,
isn't it? You came lired, you go away rested.
Ihe smile has chased off the sorrow, the laugh
has lightened the load. Out into the night you
carry the memory ot the mirth, and the knowl
edge that tho world would sooner smile than
weep. You have seen how easy it is to distil
mirth andbott!e wrath. You have learned
that smiles breed smiles, that jest spreads joy,
that it is easier to tickle than to torment. Go
and join the laughers some time, and see how it
is yourself.
Don't chase a lie, but pursue the liar with all
your energy.
If yon ride a hobby it is only a question ot
time until you are thrown.
Expert gamblers have winning ways.
Fools become famous if they only manage
to amuse the world.
Porter will watch with interest the count
of the ayes and nays in Congress on the motion
to investigate the census.
The football fields are full of halfbacks,
quarterbacks, full backs,broken backs, bruised
shins and split scalps.
A great deal of whalebone necessarily goes
to waist.
A DREAM THE WAKING.
I stood beside the ocean in a tropic land.
Above blue sky, which met a bluer sea,
Whose frothy waves dashed 'gainst a coral
strand.
Whose soft mists settled o'er a flow'ry lea.
On white-patbed hills the oleanders grew;
O'er lily fields bright-feathered songsters flew.
No thing of Commerce rode upon the waves
To bring the dreamer back to thoughts pf
life;
The only sounds came from deep coral caves
Whose walls were crumbling 'neath the
wat'ry strife.
No rushing feet, no babbling tongues.no cries
A noiseless world a dream of Paradise.
Here could no sorrow come, no worldly woe
A lifeless Life, with Nature for a bride;
The only tumult when the winds would blow,
The only shadows when the snn would hide.
No tears, no torments for the heart or soul;
A flow'ry pathway to the heavenly goal.
Thus did the fancy lead the mind astray
And paint the picture of a hollow life.
Made up of endless bliss and night less day.
Whose joy at last would lead to bitter strife.
A dream of earthly ease in region blest.
Which, if fulfilled, would bring a restless rest.
Far out npon the waves, where sky met sea,
A ship was rising, headed for the shore;
A sweeter vision brongbt that sail to me
Than that which held me captive just before.
Ah, Fancy's child, 'twere foolish to believe
Earth holds a Paradise without an Eve.
There's enough water in the floating debts
of some corporations, but they sink for all
that.
The newspapers in the University towns are
devoting columns to football matches and par
agraphs to the work of tbo colleges. Brawn
instead of brain is being crowned with laurel.
Harrison should follow Victoria's example,
and make his message meaty.
Speech is silver, and Congress is full of sil
ver men.
JayGould will eat arailroad for his Thanks
giving dinner. Perhaps he'll choke on a spike
some day.
If cities conld sue for libel, Pittsburg would
have a clear case against the Philadelphia
Jiecord. It has been imposed on by some
natural gas liar at space rates.
Cutting remarks wound the feelings and
sever friendships.
You cannot convert an idolator by breaking
his idols. He must perform that work him
self. Wall street is doubtless so named be
cause so many Arms there go to the wall.
It is a good sign to see morality entering pol
itics. .
The wholesale arrests of the wholesale liquor
dealers who have been violating the law will
doubtless have a wholesome effect.
Receivers will be more numerous this
Thanksgiving than last, thanks to the wildcat
speculators.
Business men who form a partnership with
the Sheriff have not been strictly attending to
business.
Just a little sugar, just a little rye;
Just a little lemon, just a little '-flyr"'
Just a little headache, just a little "plain,"
And in a few hours the old man's drunk again.
The spark of love makes the eyes flash.
THE women who paint cannot draw well.
This may seem strange, but it is true.
Specialists are offering articles on "How
to Play Football." Better tell the players how
to set broken limbs and dress scalp wounds.
The Indian Messiah has been found, and the
settlers are crying, "Crucify him!"
Ihe women are artistically putting the fin
ishing touches on tho World's Fair muddle.
The social sponge absorbs, bnt will not give
up anythiiig when squeezed.
Cultivate the art of listening, but don't
strain the bearing to catch whispers or place
the ears to keyholes to secure secrets.
Indians are scaring the settlers in the West
and speculators are scaring settlers in the
Easu
Imagination and cigarettes have killed a
Jersey boy. It seems strance that any person
who smokes cigarettes could have any imagina
tion. Monet is tight, but if the financiers keep
sober no harm will be done.
Make room for the school children. Don't
overcrowd their minds or their bodies.
The Indians are ungrateful. They want to
lick the hands that feed them.
Willie Winkle.
Deer Will Roam In Highland Park.
Marvin Sealfe has donated the Highland
Park a herd of deer that coat him 11,000.
SOCIAL PLEASURES.
Details of tho Brown-Boyle Wedding Mrs.
Motion's Reception in Honor of Mrs.
William Larimer Jones Several Other
Weddings anil Receptions Society's
Doings.
The bandsoino stnno residence ot Mr. J. D.
Boyle, on Ellsworth avenue, was crashed and
decorated last evening for the second wedding
to takn place within its walls this month. The
Drlde this time was Miss Margaret Boyle, a
noted beauty, and the groom was Mr. Harry
Broun, the wealthy coal merchant, ot the Arm
of II. H. Brown's Sons.
The wedding was a brilliant affair, and just
as elaborate and elegant In detail, though not
nearly so large, as the one which united the
bride's sister. Miss Laura Adelaide, to Mr. Ed
ward H. Brainerd. the first of the month. At
8 o'clock the bridal procession was announced
by the strains of the wedding inarch, and filed
down the staircase that had been trans
formed into a floral pathway. Into
the drawing room. The bride and groom en
tered together, preceded br the maid of honor.
Alias Hetty Boyle, and Messrs. Augustus P.
Burgwin and Robert H. Boyle, who officiated
as ushers.
Two clergymen, both eminent Presbyterian
divines, were deemed necessary to tie the
nuptial knot. Rev. Mr. Holmes, of the Shady
side Presbyterian Church, assuming the main
portion of the ceremonious duties, assisted by
Rev. Dr. Kumler, of the East Liberty Church.
The bridal attire was one especially suited to
the beautiful, regal bride who donned it. Ele
gant brocaded satin formed the groundwork
for an exquisite front draping of costly duchess
lace, and extended into a full train. The
bodice was cut V front and back, and finished
with frills of duchess. Over all a lung veil of
marvelous delicacy of texture fell in irraceful
folds, and, with an immense bouquet of bride
roses, white gloves and diamond ointments,
completed the toilet. In buttercup yellow the
maid of honor appealed; her cirlish gown
being fashioned of softsilk, in modish design.
Roses of tbo same hue compiled her bouquet.
Chrysanthemums were the flowers used in the
decorations, and the various apartments were
In decided and distinctive colors. Against a
tropical background magnificent pink blossoms
outlined their beautv in the drawing room: in
tho library yellow was the prevailing color, and
the reception ball was warmly tinted with the
brilliant red flowers. In tho dining room
bronze and pink were combined verv effect
ively, the centerpiece upon the main table being
a masterpiece arranged ot the most perfect pick
blossoms that towered from amid a wealth of
ferns placed in an exquisite bowl of Doulton.
The delicacies, served oy Kuhn, were in per
fect keeping with the floral embellishments.
A late train took Mr. and Mrs. Brown away
for the honeymoon. On their return they will
occupy the magnificent new residence on
Forbes street, built by the groom. The presents
were exceedingly elegant, the bride's father's
being a full dinner service of solid silver, and
will be very appropriate in the splendid home
which they willgrace.
A BRILIIANT BECEPTION
Tendered Yesterday Afternoon by Mrs.
James Mellon to Mrs. W. L. Jones.
The reception yesterday afternoon given by
Mrs. James R. Mellon, at her lovely home on
Nepley avenue, in honor of Mrs. William Lari
mer Jones, was in every way a delightful affair,
and one worthy of introdncing the pretty little
bride, in her new role, to the social set of the
city. As Miss Daisy Dilworth, Mrs. Jones was
noted for her wonderfnl attractiveness, and,
according to friends who met tho little lady
yesterday for the first time since her brilliant
marriage, her charms are greatly increased by
the pretty matronly airs that are so becoming
to her. Mrs. Jones wore her white bridal attire,
which contrasted effectively with tho more
somber-hued but none the less rich costume of
the hostess.
The residence and lawn were rendered ex
ceedingly festive by a profusion of rhododen
drons and their foliage, which Is a decided
favorite of Mrs. Mellon, who is quite a bntanist,
furtner carried out her hotanistlc ideas by
having the menu printed upon dainty orchid
leaves, the petals and stem combining to Torm
an easel. Kuhn served the supper.
SYMPATHY FOE AN INVALID
Lends to a Testimonial Benefit to he Given
Tills Evening.
The testimonial benefit to bo given Miss E.
M. Simpson, in the High School chapel, this
evoning will be a thoroughly enjoyable event,
The programme consists of musical and elocu
tionary numbers, to be rendered by prominent
talent. Those who will appear are Mr. Sam
Brown, Miss Letta Stewart, Miss Irene Sample.
Mr. C. C. Rlnebart, Mr. W. S. Weeden, Mr. C.
K. Stewart and Miss Edith Harris. The man
agement is in the hand; ofa committee, includ
ing Superintendent George Lnckey, Principal
O. B. Wood, Profs. RohrDacker, Carhart ana
Ogden.
The serious protracted Illness of Miss Simp
son, a veteran teacher in the public schools, has
aroused the sympathy not only of "all her for
mer pupils, but of a great many outsiders as
well, and a full house is anticipated.
As Enjoyable as Usual.
One of the always enjoyable entertainments
nnder the auspices of the King's Sons and
Daughters of St. Peter's Church, was given last
evening in the Sunday schoolroom of that sanc
tuary. The opening address nas delivered by
Mr. C. C. Dickey, and the others who appeared
upon the programme in various numbers were
the Misses Gelty, Miss H. Grimes, Miss Besslo
L. Dickey, Miss Camillo Will, and Messrs. J. A.
Hlbbard and J. F. Hetzel. Refreshments of a
delicious order were served at tho conclusion.
Social Chatter.
Mr. and Mrs. Will McCullough Graf
ton, of Sewickley, gave an elegant reception
lastovening at the Park Place Hotel. Miss
Chew, Mrs. Grafton's daughter, assisted in re
ceiving, and Sewickley circles were reinforced
among the guests Quite largely from Pittsburg
and Allegheny.
Mrs. Thomas Jamison deviated from the
usual rule and invited gentlemen as well as
ladies to lierl o'clock tea yesterday afternoon.
As a consequence brighter faces, more be
witching toilets and more interesting conversa
tion than is usually the case characterized the
event.
The First Primitive Methodist Church will
give a grand tea party Thanksgiving day and
the Friday following. The evening, after the
services of tea, will be devoted to literary and
musical programmes.
Rev. and Mrs. S. H. McCorkle were ten
dered a pleasant reception last evening at the
First Congregational Church, of Allegheny, of
which Rev. Mr. McCorkle is the recently se
cured pastor.
Mr. and Mrs. E. Ingram, of Chartiers
street, celebrated their china wedding last
evening, and as a result glory in china closets
filled with much that is rare and desirable in
that line.
The marriage of Miss Marian Russel,
daughter of Colonel Young, of Taylor avenue,
to Mr. James O'Neil, will be celebrated at 5:50
this evening, at the residence on Taj lor ave
nue. THE Smithfleld Street M. E. Church will
give a Thanksgiving concert Thursday evening.
The programme Includes some very fine
musical selections, elocution and humor.
Rev. De Wilt M. Benham will deliver his
lecture on the "Passion Play at Oberammrr
cau" to-morrow evening at the rooms of the
East Liberty branch of the Y. M. C. A.
At the Linden Club hall last evening Henry
L. Rlngwalt's choir of 25 voices, assisted by the
Point Breeze Orchestra and several popular
soloists, gave an enjoyableconcerr.
Miss Lena M. aull and Mr. William M.
Meyers were married yesterday morning in the
St Peter's and St. Paul's Church, on Larimer
avenue, by Rev. Father Suehr.
The ladies of the Home and Foreign Mis
sionary Society, of Trinity Lutheran Church,
will bold their annual supper Thanksgiving
Eve: hours from 5 to 7.
The marriage of Miss Kate Ratlcan and Mr.
Harry Evans was solemnized last evening at
the residence of the bride's parents In Alle
gheny. The ladles of the Denny Church, LIgonier
and Thirty-fourth streets, will give a Thanks
giving Eve coffee, doughnut and ice cream
social.
Rev. T. J. Leak. D. D., will lecture on Fri
day evening at the Walton M. E. Church.
Subject, "Through Palestine on Horseback."
The Sons of St. George, English Standard
Lodge 81, will celebrate their anniversary De
cember 13, at the Lawrence Turner Hall.
ON December 16 the Sovereigns of Industry,
Columbia Council 49, will give an entertain
ment in Turner Hall, on Butler street.
Mrs. a L. Fleishman, of Locust street, en.
tertained with progressive euchre last evening
a gay company of friends. .
A Thanksgiving Eve concert will be given
in the German M. E. Church, Ohio street and
Union avenue.
Mrs. J. H. BICKETSON, of Ridge avenue,
has issued cards for an evening reception, De
cember 1
IMPORTANT CONCERT.
The Beethoven Quartet Club at Old City
Hall Finished Work of 3Ir. Retter and
1IU Associates Amusement Notes.
The most important concert thus far yielded
by the promising season of '1890-91 was that of
our. own Beethoven Quartet Club at Old City
Hall last night. Mr. Carl Retter, director and
pianist, Mr. Fred G. Toerge, violin, Mr. George
Toerge, viola, and Mr. Charles F. Cooper,
violoncello the regular members of this
quartet were assisted In one number last
evening by Mr. Louis Abel, flute, and Mr.
Oscar Loebllcb, French horn. The vocalist
was Miss Clen.entine De Vere. ot New York,
the brilliant young woman whose constant ap
pearance In the country's best concerts, to say
nothing of her unprecedented church salary,
entitle her to be called the most prominent
soprano now before the American public. The
programme read thus:
Capncelo. quartet, op. 43, for piano and
string Instruments J onr
Nocturne, op. 19, for violin, flute, i'rench
born and nlano finnnipr
Aria. "Herodlade" llassenet
bonate. op. 47 (Kreutzer), for piano and
. violin Beethoven
Adacio sostenoto. presto.
Andante con variazlonl.
Finale, presto.
Scenc-bliadovr dance. "DInorah" Meyerbeer
Quartet, op. 33, for piano and strinjr lnstrn-
.roents Taubert
Allejcro commodo.
Komanze, adagio molto, cantablle.
Intermezzo, vivace.
Finale, molto virace.
In almost every particular this was an admir
able selection and arrangemont, preserving a
high standard while affording a due amount of
variety and novelty. Mobrs Capriccio. a simile
andante movement with an interlude in
rapid temno, possesses abundant interest,
both melodic and structural, to warrant
Its repetition from a former programme of this
club. Beethoven's noble and beautiful
Kreutzer" Sonata is all too seldom heard;
snch a classic needs not the adventitious aid
nf an Iconoclastic tartar to make it at all times
welcome.
T1f the numbers were complete novelties
in Pittsburg. Indeed, the nocturne was such,
not only as to the musical Ideas themselves,
but also as to the combination of Instruments
chosen as the vehicle for their expression. It
is pleasant to see the wlna instruments even
occasionally nowadays accorded the place in
chamber music which once they held so firmly.
Mr. Doppler's piece is melodious and the tonal
effect undeniably good: there is not enough
musicianship in its development, however, to
give it hich rank in this department of com
position. The other novelty was Taubert's quartet, of
which the first movement seemed, on first
bearing, rather incoherent, though with mo
ments of power. Tho rnmanzo began with a
neb, broad melody for viola, which was then
gracefully discussed by tho other strings and
subsequently gave way to a remarkably fine,
glowing treatment of epi-odaic material, fol
lowed by a return of the original melody anda
lew reminiscent measures forminc a lingering
close; it was a beautiful and effective move
ment. The scberzo-liko intermezzo was
grotesque and somewhat dry; but the all too
brief hnale made a climax of great fervor,
breadth and power.
Mr. Retter and his associates have never
done cleaner and more finished ensemble play-'h2-
Taking the quartet numbers throughout,
the interpretation was artistically satisfying
to a high degree. Minor blemishes
could be pointed out here and there;
nut with the sjnsle exception of the
flatting flute in tbo nocturne there was no
defect that could seriously interfere wltn the
enjoyment that tho listeners very heartily
expressed throughout the evening. The posi
tive excellencies were too many to be enumer
ated within this morning's limits of space and
time. Mr. Retter and Mr. Fred Toerge merit
especial praise for their faithful and intelli
gent performance of the sonata, which makes
no small demand unon head, heart and hands.
Miss DeVere, while evidently a wee bit
hoarse and being, as a stranger, even more
than the others, open to the depressing inilu
ence of the empty benches, tborouchly sus
tained her high repute. The Massenet aria,
with its emotional intensity and lack of sus
tained melody, formed a particularly trying
selection to sing in the absence ot an
orchestra and a large audience. But
Miss De Vere made a noble and
successful effort to overcome these draw
backs, and well earned the double recall
to which she had to respond. In the familiar
"Shadow Dance" there was less difficulty: she
delivered Meyerbeer's brilliant flonlun with
almost flawless execution, admirable phrasing
and intelligence. The Insistent applanse
broucht the singer back taking off herglove,
so as to accompany herself in a charming little
French ballad, which she sang with a graceful
archness and winsome tenderness quite in con
trast with the dramatic fire of the "Herodlade"
aria and the brilliant fire works of the Meyer
beer scene.
It is altogether incomprehensible that so
promising a concert and so well advertised,
too should have mustered an audience that
seemed lost among the waste of empty scats in
the big hall. Small credit to Pittsburg to show
such faint appreciation of the two seasons of
faithful, unselfish work in the cause of art
done by this excellent organization. The sub
scription being so small, Mr. Retter states that
the club will probably cancel its contracts, re
fund what has been paid for the balance of the
series proposed and adjourn sine die. A thou
sand pities, if this determination be final t
C. W. S.
GILMOKE'3 CONCERTS.
Two Great Musical Treats on Thanksgiving
Day Under Jr. O. U. A. M. Auspices.
There is not the slightest chance of the only
Gilmore and his great band disappointing their
numerous admirers on Thanksgiving Day, and
the two concerts in Old City Hall promise to be
among tbe prime attractions of the holiday.
For this musical treat Pittsburgersare indebted
to the enterprise of Acme Council No. 219, Jr.
O. U. A. M.. under whose auspices tbe concert)
are to be given. That tbero will be brimming
bouses at both performances is certain, seeing
that the friends of tbe Jr. O. U. A. 51. and Gil
more himself will be out in force. In addition
to tbe magnificent band of which he is tbe
leader, Gilmore will present two singers of na
tional reputation. The prima donna. Miss Ida
Klein, is spoken of as a very rich and sweet
voiced soprano from the Metropolitan Opera
House in New York, where only the best of
singers are utilized. Tbe basso, Mr. Edward
O'Mahony, was for a number of seasons with
the Carl Rosa Opera Company in England, and
has sung with Mr. Gilmore in New York enouih
to become a great favorite there. Tbe pro
grammesare richly varied, that for tbe afternoon
including such excellent numbers as the over
tare to Wagner's "Rlenzi," a grand selection
from Meyerbeer's operas, tbe American Patrol,
and some exquisite solos for Miss Klien and
Mr. O'Mahony. The evening programme is
also a brilliant one, including tho overture to
Wagner's "Tannhauser," a number of operatic
selections, and tbe crand popular fantaisie
"Rose, Shamrock and Thistle," introducing
the popular melodies of England. Ireland and
Scotland. Miss Klein will sing among other
tbines. tho jewel scene from Gonnod's
"Faust."
Emma Jucli Opera Sale.
Nearly 150 seats were sold at auction yester
day noou for the opening performance of the
Emma Jucn Grand English Opera Company's
engagement at tbe new Duquesne Theater on
Monday evening next. The sale took place at
Haves' music store. No. 75 Fifth avenue. Many
of the seats brought premiums of 82 50 each.
Three boxes were sold at premium of S20 each.
There still remains about 800 desirable seats
and several boxes for the opening night, which
are to be sold at regular prices at the general
sale, which begins at 9 o'clock this morning;
also at Hayes' music store. Seats for any of
the seven performances announced for next
week may be had only at this place. The rep
ertoire and nights that Miss Juch will sing are
as follows: Monday, Huguenots," Juch: Tues
day. "Rigoletto:" Wednesday. "Lohengrin."
Juch; Thursdav, 'Faust:"Friday,"L'Africaine,"
Juch; Saturday matinee. "II Trovatore;" Satur
day night, "The Flying Dutchman." Juch.
DEATHS OP A DAY.
B. T. Shillaber.
;SFSCIAL TELEGBAM TO THE DI3PATCIT.1
New York. November 25. Ben i'enhallow
Shillaber, the famous humorist and poet, widely
known as "Mrs. Partington, " died to-day of
heart disease at his home In Chelsea, ilass. He
was born In Portsmouth, . H.. on July K, 1SI4.
He was educated at the famous academy at
Exeter, and while yet In bis teens he toot no the
composing stlct iu Dover, S. II., as a means of
earning his living. Alter live years In a country
pnrltlng office he went to Pemarara, Guiana,
where he followed his trade for three years, lie
returned In 1840 and entered tbe office at the
Boston .Pot. It was about seven years later that
the exquisitely funny sayings of "Mrs. Parting
ton" In the columns of that Journal began to
tickle tbe ribs or the whole country. The old
lady's absurdities contained many grotesquely
clothed bits or sound philosophy, which made
tueiu live, and gave their author a permanent
place In literary lamp.
In 1830Mr. fehlllaber entered upon some journal
istic ventures or his own. but resumed his place
on the Post two years later. Then In 1836, and
during tbe ten years following, be was one of the
editors of tbe Boston Saturday Lventng GazetU.
contributing at the same time to other papers, the
Una XoTk Ht among tbe number, some years
ago he undertook a lecturing tour, but wa not
entirely successful. In spite of drawbacks, how
ever, bblllaber accumulated modest means, and
for some years had lived peacefully In his quiet
home at Chelsea. Ills health had been poor lor a
long time, and he had done little literary woik
slnce the publication of bU last volnuio In ISSi
- Colonel J. II. Schumart.
prni,TH,ti t" ,,si"PiTrii.'
Youxgstows, November 25. Colonel J. H.
Schumart. of Cincinnati, agent of tbe Pennsyl
vania Mutual Life Insurance Company, died at
the Tod House this arternoon, after a week's Ill
Bess, of typhoid pneumonia,
CUfiiOOS CONDENSATIONS.
A ton of gold is worth 5602,709 20.
One thousand laths require about 11
pounds of nails.
Consumption of the last pickle does not
lead to the production of a poni.
A one-eyed perch was caught in the
Ohio river at Steubenville last week.
It is estimated that over 100,000 tons of
ice still remain stored around Lake Champlain.
At Greenwich the moon has been ob
served with scarcely an intermission for 150
years.
The biggest firm in Oregon is said to be
Cume & Davis, of Shedd, the combined weight
of the two men being 600 pounds.
There are five women and one man liv
ing at 162 Amherst street, Toronto, who sleep
every night in their respective cofflns.
Reading cars, fitted out with the most
popular periodicals and boola. will be attached
to tbe passenger trains of the St. Petersburg
and Warsaw Railroad.
The earliest mention of holly in connec
tion with Christmas embellishment is a carol in
its praise, written about 1450 and preserved in
the Harleian manuscripts.
Spearing salmon in Eogue river, Oregon,
has furnished rather tame sport to numbers
during the past few weeks. Many ranchers are
feeding them to their stock hogs.
Tbe isolated Galapagos archipelago is
a rich repository of animal and vegetable
forms. Its flora differs by one-half of its spe
cies from that of the rest of the globe.
A singular disease has recently been
called to the attention of physicians. It is a
form of recession of the gums of the superior
molars, which is said to be due to the use ot
tomatoes as food.
The bee belt of Colorado is that portion
of the Bear Creek valley in Jefferson county
lying between the towns of Morrison and Little
ton. There are fully 2,500 working colonies in
tbe district named.
The sun gives 600,000 times as much
light as the full moon; 7,000,000,000 times as
ranch as tbo brightest star in the sky, and
3C.C0O,0CO times as much as all tbe stars in the
heavens combined.
In England's Australasian properties
the sale ot opium to the aborigines and kanakas
Is very large, and tbe druir is even given in
wages. Tbe Presbyterian General Assembly
has asked tbe government to stop it,
The Alaskan section is peculiarly suited
to maritime life and, in climate, soil and sur
face, resembles Scandinavia. In this section
there Is little scope for agriculture; but mining
and fishing would be natural occupations.
The late President Grant once spoke of
onr Western Cordilleras as the "strongbox" of
tbe nation. He realized the fact which many
people are slow to recognize, that the larger
part of oar resources is west of the Missis
sippi. Some hunters will not eat the meat of a
deer that has been run and worried by dogs,
but only ot those which have oeen killed by
what Is called still hunting that Is, which are
shot and killed and so don't suffer much be
fore they die.
By way ot testing the speed of flight in
Dirds of tho swallow kind, Spallanzani captured
and marked a sand martin or bank swallow
the feeblest of Its genus on her nest at Pavia
and set her free at Milan, 15 miles away. She
flew back in 13 minutes.
It is not so well known as it might be
that Cincinnati, O- has an industry whicS is
now tbe largest of Its kind in the world, viz.:
that of woodworking machinery. The prod
ucts of the various firms engaged in it are
shipped to every clime and nation.
The group of bodies termed by chemists
the carbo-hydrates because they are com
posed of carbon united with oxygen and hydro
gen In the proportion in which those two ele
ments combine to form water contain the
well-known series of sugars, gums and.
starches.
Tho ready recovery from wounds and the
success of grave surgical operations during our
Civil War, under circumstances which were on
the whole less advantageous than those which
attend tbe conduct of war in Europe, prove
that the American body has more recupeiattve
power than that of the European.
While Mr. Williams, of Montezuma,
Ga., was driving under an oak tree as dusk tbe
other day he was amazed to find hf3 horse leave
the ground and remain in the air. Investiga
tion proved that the affair was not super
natural, as the animal had got caught In a
swing hanging from a bough of the tree.
"One good cizar smoked after each
meal," says Dr. William A. Hammond, "is
what may be called moderate use. and can
rarely inflict any damage to the system. The
exceptions occur in those persons of peculiar
organization, impressionable and easily dis
turbed by stimulants, sedatives or narcotics."
A very expensive fad is having your
portrait cut as an onyx cameo. The work is
very slow, difficult and laborious. The image
when done is permanent and will last for cen
turies. There are enough people in New York
who enjoy this kind of extravagance to give
constant employment to five cameo portrait
carvers.
A Japanese chef, or fancy cook, finds
employment from bis own nationality in pre
paring the fish dinners which are so prominent
a feature of life in the land of the Mikado. One
of bis pet masterpieces consists of a large blue
tlsb. which, when served, has not a single scale
broken, and which, when opened, contains a
sea bass, and that In turn one or two smaller
fishes in equally perfect condition.
Some years ago, a farmer living near
Rowton, in Shropshire, noticed on a path in a
field a hole which had been suddenly made by
some mysterious and unknown agent. The
laborers who were near told him that they
had just heard a remarkable noise or explo
sion; and when the farmer put his band down
into the hole, he felt something hot at the bot
tom of it. He took a spade and dag up the
strange body, and found it to be a piece of iron,
weighing about five pounds.
The Dominion of Canada embraces to
day, undur one Federal Government, the entire
territory of British North America, including
the islands, with tbe exception of Newfound
land, which has so far preferred to remain out
side the confederation. This vast area is di
vided into seven Provinces ana fourTerritories.
Tho Provinces are as follows, taken in the order
of their population and wealth: Ontario,
Ouebec Nova Scotia. New Brunswick. Mani
toba Prince Edward Island and British Colum
bia. ' The four Territories, which include vast
areas or prairie land in the great Northwest,
very thinly populated, are Alberta, Assiniboia
East, Assiniboia West and Saskatchewan.
THE HTIM0B0TJS C0SNEE.
"He wasin the van allt hrough the fight."
"Very likely along with the luggaze." Jew
l"or Sun.
Sanso Old Brown lived long, but his last
years were spent In a poorhouse.
Kodd-Taen he lived long and died short, eh?
Kea York Herald.
Mrs. A. Does your husband believe ia
corporal punishment In the household?
jlr. B. Only to a certain point. He's always
whipping the children, bat he thinks the dost
should be got out of the carpet by moral suasion.
Chicago Evening Post.
One pessimist claims there has not been a
fresh Joke in six centnrles. A moment's thought
will disprove this. The Joke of th man who put J
his band on the newly painted post to see if it's
dry Is certainly fresh, for It it wasn't Jresh there
wsuld be no Jote in It. Fniladelpnla. Timej.
Wile (reading paper) I always held that
Colonel Hooker was an honest man. I see that a
man filled him full ofbuckshot lastnlght.
II usband Where does the nonest part come lnr
" hy tills article says he returned the shot."
liije.
Henry (with spelling book) Papa, what
Is a fortification?
Papa-It's a large fort.
Henry Then is a ramification a large ram?
Harper's loung People.
Sanso Fiahts are never conducted
squarely.
liodd Why do yon say so?
Sjanso Because they are conducted by rounds.
P. S.-Thlslokels expected to fall flat,-.V
York Herald. ,.
She They have discovered some wood in
Egypt which la said to be 4,000 years old. I won- jt
der what kind it is? 3
He (lmperturbably) Chestnut, of conrse.-ifl
Wathingtm Star. JV
"Why does Captain Thomas wear a glass ?
eye?" asked Johnnie.
"Ho! lon't you know?" queried Sallie, scorn
fully. "So 'a lie can see Uiruush it. stupid."
liarper't Yonng reople.
"I'm feeling very HI again, doctor. Do
you think 1 am going to die?"
"My desr madam, compote yourself- That Is
the last thing la the world that Is going to hsppeaf
tojoa,"-it,
t t ' " m
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