;vhj HK2SKi 5 TILES OFANAUTHOR. Blind Chaplain Milburn's Interesting Stories of William Makepeace Thackeray. HE HAD TO HUNT PUBLISHERS. His Family Life and How Do Once Drank a Kew Year's Glass to His Daughter i cross the Sea. A MEETING WITH A LITERARY BORE. Thcnu Culjlt'i IrrililDltj tni How Asuriess, Tourist) Brtitrod Em. ICOEKEErOKDKXCE Or THB SISFATC&I .JVashington, November 8. One of the most remarkable characters connected with Congress is the Rev. Dr. W. H. Milburnr tlie blind chaplain of the House. For more than 40 Tears he has been almost totally blind, and lor a generation and more he has not been able ta read a line in a book or a newspaper. Still, during this time he has left his imprint upon the people of the United Slates, has been chaplain oi Con gress time and nain, and now at the age of 67 he is found in body and limb and pos sessed of a mental activity which has hardly its oounterpart among public men. While in London Chaplain Milbnrn was intimately acquainted with William Make peace Thackeray, and he had a cloer asso ciation with Thomas Carlyle than any other American with the exception of Emerson. His reminiscences of these great authors covering a period of six Tears which he spent in Europe, are exceedingly interesting, liast night, sitting in au easy chair with a long meerscl.aum pipe in his mouth, he told story aiter story of unwritten literary his tory, laughing heartily at times aud again grouing pathetic as his perlect memory turned in the past from gay to grave. A GENIAL COMPANION. "I met Thackerav during his visit to the United States," slid Dr. Milburn. "He asked me to come and see him. I cannot imagine a more eentle, perfect courtesy than he manifested toward me. In this respect I think he was greatly misunderstood by the public "Indeed his usual bearing was such as to ju&lity in a measure the general belief that he was a misanthrope, a cynic. To those who were to tortunate as to reach his heart and his affections he was the farthest possi ble removed from such a person. In con versation his voice was as soft and kindly and sympathetic as the voice of woman. In all my intercourse with h'ln I never heard him utter a harsh or hitler word. At that lime Thackeray was perhaps 50 and at the height of his lame and prosperity. Wo ex changed visits and several times we met at dinners. He impressed me profoundly. He o. ten alluded with evident pleasure to his visits to our own country and the people "whom he met. He seemed to have a high appreciation of our national greatness, pres ent and future. THACKERAY IN POLITICS. "I remember that when I first met Thack eray he was about to 'run,' as we Americans say 'stand' they express it in England as a candidate for member of Parliament for Oxford. 'I would gladly give all I possess, he said to me, 'for the gift of off-hand speech.' '"You amaze me,' I answered. 'I heard you in New York aud I thought I would exenange all I had in the world for your power of utterance. ' " 'Ah my dear, sir, I was only reading then. It 1 get upon my feet and try to talk without manuscript I immediately become an Idiot' "Of course I laughed at this, but he as sured me that it was strictly true. He ran fur Parliament as a Liberal, but was deleated by a Tory. I believe this crushed Ills political ambition, and he was not again a candidate. Thackeray had already made his reputation in literature. Most ot his books had been written and were beirg read by millions on both continents. About this time he became the editor of Corn hill and subsequently he wrote "Kound about Papers" and some minor works. SELLING VAX ITT TAIE. "His early experience was that common to most authors. It was a long time before he succeeded in obtaining recognition. He told me he had a contract itn the publisher of prater's Magaztne lor 'Vanity Fair.' It was to be printed in parts, but he was re quired to submit tne manuscript of the en tire work belore its publication was begun. It was examined and declined. Thackeray tried every reputable publisher in Loudon, with the same result all declined it, and bo isc rudely. 'Keniembcr,' he said to me, 'I was an author of some reputation. I had written several books aud short stories, which had been published aud appeared to no popular, bat I could only get 'Vanity Fair' before the public bv making an arrangement with Braabury & Evans, the publishers of Jmch, by w hicii I was to assume half the pecuniary liability of the venture. But, really, I was under obligations to Fraser's (or declining it. I was to have received from that magazine 1 per page; as it re sulted I have realized a pound a line for it." xraronTUNATE, but happy. "Thackeray's domestic life was happy in the compauionsbip of his two charming daughters. There bad been a great deal of care and sorrow in his life, iou know his wife became insane in early womanhood and dicdafter biug lor many years an in mate in an asylum. Thackeray died in 16G3, between my first and second visits to Europe, literally worn out "Let me tell jou one or two incidents that occurred when Thackeray was in Boston. "While there he spent much of his time as a guest in the family of George Ticknor who was celebrated in literary circles. On New Year's eve he and Ticknor sat smoking to gether in the library. The latter's wi.e was also present. Mr. Ticknor's two daughters bad gone to a party. They sat talking till 11 o'clock when lhackeray arose and said he would go to his room. " You are not going to retire yet?' in quired his host. " No," was the auswer, 'for I always at the birth of a new yeir drink to the health and happiness oi my daughters, but I do not wish to keep you up so late. " U'ray stjy with us and ne will join you in a health to your absent ones.' A GLASS TO HI& MOTHERLESS ONES. "Thackeray replied that he would be de lighted to do bu if it would not trespass upon their hoars o( rest. He sat at the side of the great fireplace and looked two or three times at the clock upon the mantel, to note the flight o. the m.nutes. '"Do not trouble yourself about the time,' said Mrs. 'J'lck-iur. 'I will let you know when it is 12 o'cluck.' "At the moment the new year began Thackeray took in ins hand a glass of sherry, rose to his feet and said in tremulous tones, 'God bless my motherless girls! God bless them and all who are good to them." Drinking the wine he bade his host good night aud without another word retired from the room leaving me and Mrs. Tick nor in tears. "One more incident which occured in the Tremont House. A stranger called upon Mr. Thackeray at his room there. Placing his hand upon his stomach and making a profound bow he said: 'Have I the great honor to address that celebrated man the Honorable William Makepeace Thack erav?' ' 'My name Is Thackeray,' was the quiet answer. X. DOWNTRODDEN AUTHOR. " 'Sir' 8-iid the stranger, 'I, ton.am au an tbor but I can find uo publisher. I have writ ten much that ought to be given to the world. I hare brought with mt on of my manu scripts and I will be under lasting obliga tions if you will havethe goodness to read it aud pass your opinion upon it. If your judgment is favorablel can find a publisher and mv fortune will be made. Will you notdo'thisforme?' " 'My dear sir,' said Thackeray, "you are asking's great deal of me, for, as you must know, my time it very much occupied. I scarcely see how it is possible for me to oblige you.' "'Oh, Mr. Thackeray,' persisted his im portunate visitor, 'I am sure you will not refuse to befriend a poor devil of an author. A word of commendation from you would start him on the road to fame and wealth.' ' 'Well, you may leave it and I will look it over. But suppose I should not likeit?' '"I ask you to give yonr honest opinion, and whatever it may be I will be content I have others beside this, and perhaps you would ' " 'Pray excuse me; one is enough.' ATRAID OP THE PUBLISHER. "There was a rap at the door and Mr. Appleton was announced. 'Whatl Apple ton, the publisher?' exclaimed the strange author, and, seizing his hat, he left without ceremony. Perhaps he had had some expe rience with Appleton in his quest for a pub lisher. "Thackeray told me," continued Dr. Mil burn, "that the manuscript was the poorest he ever saw. It was made up of all sorts of paper, written in blue, black and red ink, and not a lew of the pages were scratched off in lead pencil. It was without a spark of merit, and it was soon after re turned to the owner. Thackeray spent sev eral boars in its perusal, and I imagine that few men in Ms position would have con sented to have even looked at it I was present at the time the man called, and the tun of it was that the Appleton who came was not Appleton, the publisher, but Tom Appleton, a noted man about town, who was more distinguished for doing nothing than anything else. He was much amused when he found he had been taken for the pub lisher." A GUSHING BOSTON GIRL. As an instance of bow Mr. Carlyle was often bored by American tourists, Mr. Mil burn related to me a story, the subject of which was a bright yonng American girl of Boston, who came to him with n letter from Emerson. She was only 16 years old, and she had all ol the gush of that age, added to a natural admiration for lions. She was evidently a hero worshipper, and Carlyle was one of her heroes She called and pre sented her letter, and was invited to dinner by Carlyle. "When she came the next afternoon," said Mr. Milbum, "one of her first actions was to take a seat on the so a and to ask Mr. Carlyle to sit beside her. She then requested Mrs. Carlyle to take the seat on the other side, and clasping the hands of the two to gether upon her lap, she laid her own on top of them, and then raising her eyes and look ing at Mr. Carlyle, she ecstatically ex claimed: 'Now I am in paradise.' You can imagine how ridiculous such an action muse have been to two plain, practical, common senr people like Thomas Carlyle and his wi o. MR. CARLTLE'S TEMPER. "One of the most curious receptions," went on the blind chaplain," was that which Carlisle gave George Gilfillan. Gilfillan was quite a literarv character of a genera tion ago. His books were widely read, and his 'Literary Portraits" were especially pop ular with the young ladies, and I knew of many girls who slept with these volumes under their pillows. Gilfillan was a lecturer as well as a writer. He appreciated his popularity aud had a very good opinion of Gcorsre Gilfillan. He called one day at Mr. Cailyle's and his knock was responded to by Carlyle himself. "As Carlyle orened the door and stood before him Gilfillan introduced himself with a grandiloquent bow and said: I am George Gilfillan and you are Mr. Carlyle, I suppose. 1 have been lecturing about you all over England.' " 'Carlyle looked at him a half moment, and then throwing back his shaggy mane, blurted nut: 'What the deuce did you lec ture about me for?' and with that he slammed the door in his face. It must have been one of his most irritable days, end one Can have little idea of the annoyances which he had to undergo. Frank G. Carpenter, A BALLOON AMONG PEASANTS. It Meets "With a Reception Qnlte Character istic of Their Benighted Condition. An account which recently appeared in the Xovoe Yremya of a balloon voyage from St. Petersburg to a point not far beyond Lake Ladoga, conveys a striking picture ot the benighted condition oi the Russian peasantry, even within a few hundred miles of the capital. The balloon in question, containing a Colonel Pomostzeff and Count Covanko, descended at a place called Mous toi, in the Government of Oletz, 300 versts Irom St Petersburg, and this is what fol lowed: Thero was a general panic. The peasants thought that antichrist was descending from the sky, and that the end ot the world was come; women screamed, children cried, and all the inhabitants were well nigh out ot their wits from fear. Soou, from the wood came the women who had been gathering mushrooms, running as fast as their lees could carry them. "A house," they cried, "has come down from the sky with wonder ful strangers in it!"" The peasants there upon all hid themselves in the village as best they could, with the exception of a few bold fellows who took tbeir hatchets and cudgels and proceeded cautiously to the forest It was long before these latter, who assisted to convey the apparatus to the vil lage, could prevail upon their fellow villagers to come out of their hiding places. The aeronauts spent the night in this vil lage, and in the morning marched back, the balloon being packed on a sledge because there was not a wheeled vehicle in the place. DILLON IS A D0CT0H. A Fact About the Irish Enthusiast Not Gen erally Known. New York Telegram. It is not generally known that the Irish member of Parliament, John Dillon, now in America, is a doctor by profession. Pre vious to the land agitation he was demon strator of anatomy at the Lcdwich School of Medicine, in Dublin, and distin guished himself by making some discover ies which have proved of importance to science. Mr. Dillon has visited the United States several times. He is loved in Ireland with a peculiar love; it is akin to a mother for a favorite child. He, on the other hand, always speaks of the Irish as "My people." Mr. Dillon entered the present Irish move ment because he took in the spirit of Irish Nationalism with his blood, and because by his nature he was bound to be an enthusiast in some cause. WASN'T GOING TO DIB. Incident at the Bedside of Father Fransloli the Aged Priest Brooklyn Cltiien. Just previous to his death, Father Fran sioli, the founder and first pastor of St Peter' Church, Hicks and Warren streets, was visited by bis favorite nephew, Ar nold Fransioli. The aged clergyman was rapidly sinking, and, after much patient thought, it was decided that his nephew should approach him on the subject of his funeral. The nephew with much timidity at length broke the question and waited for a reply. He did not have to wait long. Father Fransioli said "Should a man who eats well, drinks well and sleeps well, think of arranging his funeral?" He was dead a day or two alter. Be Boss Early. Boston Herald. She (as he rises to go at a late hour) I suppose you'll sleep until noon, will you not, Mr. McJinkum? He Why no; I'm a very early riser. Bnt (looking at the clock) Yi, I sm you are, , THESKY FOR NOVEMBER. What the Heavenly Panorama Will Dis close This Month Conjunction of Plan ets and an Eclipse of the Moon The Evening and Morning Stars. New York Times. The speed of the sun slackens noticeably during November. The daylight Is dimin ished by an hour, as it is 10 hours in length to-day and only 9 on the 30th. The conjunctions for the month begin with a visit to Saturn on the 7th, Urbanus on the 10th, Mercury on the 12th, Venus on the 14th, Jupiter on the 17th and Mars on the same day. None of these is very close, bnt on the 17th, when the three heavenly bodies are together, the picture will be lovely, as the sweet' regent of the sky will be in' cres cent shape and tho two planets will be only ten minutes apart A partial eclipse of the moon will take place on the 2Gtii, which will not be'visible in this latitude, but can be seen in Asia, India and on the Pacific Only a little piece of the moon is obscured. The moon is at its full on. the day ol the eclipse, and it is only when in that phase that an eclipse is possible. The moon being illuminated by the light of the sun, the earth coming in be tween the two cuts off the sun's rays and forms a shadow. As the moon enters the shadow a portion of her surface seems to be cut off and to disappear entirely, and her visible portion continually grows smaller until, in case of a total eclipse, her whole disk is immersed in the shadow. In about half ol the lunar eclipses the moon passes so far above or below the center of the shadow that part ot her body is in itaud part outside at the time of greatest eclipse. This is called a partial eclipse of the moon, lu tht3 case, from the time the moon first euters the outer shadow, or penumbra, until it leaves, there is an interval of more than four hour3, the time in the deepest shadow being 17 minutes. At the beginning of the month Venus, Mars and Jupitr are evening stars;Neptune, Satnrn, Uranus and Mercury morning stars. "While greater in number, the brilliancy of the latter group does not com pare with that of the former, as Saturn is the only one that is at all attractive. Early risers will find him in the morning in the eastern sky, about four hours before the dark is ririiined with a length of bright horizon. The size of the ringed planet is gradually increasing, aud as he gets to our meridian two hours earlier at the close of the month than at its beginning, before the end of the year we shall see his serene yellow light shining in the eastern sky some time before midnight Saturn is to be found in the constellation ot the Lion. Uranus and the far-distant Neptune are in tlie morning group, the former in the constellation of Virgo, not very far from Mercury, the two having just been in con junction. Uranus is moving further to the westward away from the sun, and now rises about 5:30 in the morning. Mercury is retracing his steps toward the sun, and is now no longer in a favorable position lor us to see him. Mercury is in conjunction with the moon on the 12th, but as this is the day of new moon, we shall not be able to witness the meeting. In spite of the beauties of Venus, a greater portion ol the interest in the even ing planets centers in the meeting between Jupiter and Mars. It has been an interest ing thing to watch these two planets as they slowly decrease the distance that separates them, and this will be intensified as the time draws nearer the period of conjunc tion. The presence of the moon will add greatly to the loveliness of the tableau. Un fortunately for a thorough enjoyment of this rare picture, Mars, the last-named body, has now drawn so lar away from us as no longer to appear so important as we once considered him. Jupiter has just passed the point of quad rature with the sun and is in a fine position for telescopic observation. According to the best determinations the diameters of the satellites of Jupiter range between 2,200 and 3,700 miles, the volume of the smallest of the four being very near that ot our moon. Venus is at present the brightest of the 3,000 stars that stud the sky. Even the broad sunligb; does not entirely sbut her out from view, and the full moon scarcely dims her luster. She has just reaohed her period of greatest brilliancy, but there will be no perceptible diminution of her light lor several weeks to come, as her diameter it increasing as she comes nearer the earth. Venus and the moon arc in conjunction on the 14th, but they are too far separated foi scenic effect. OIL ON THE BEA. How Uncle Sam Advises Its Use to Calm tho Ocean's Waves. New Yort Times. The Hydrographio Office at Washington has just issued the following remarks, show ing the best way to use oil: "To cross a bar in heavy weather, after battening down all hatches, etc., take two pieces of india rub ber pipe about 20 feet long and 1 inch in diameter. Put these through the hawes pipes, one on eaoh side, and let tbeir ends trail in the sea. On the upper end of each piece of tube lash a good-sized funnel, se cure it to a stanchion in a vertical position, and station a man at each with a three-gallon tin of colza oil. When the vessel enters the outermost sea that breaks on the bar, let each man gently pour tho oil down the pipes. This will smooth the bar immensely and your vessel will steer much better. "Almost any oil of animal or vegetable origin will do, but petroleum is not otmuch service, excepting to mix with and thin the other, it necessary. When lying to in a gale, head to wind and drllting slowly, if a little oil is used, a ship ought to pull through the heaviest storm. Itunning in a gale, an oil-bag hung over the weather side or oil poured down a pipe, well forward, is of great service in preventing the sea from breaking aboard; gale increasing, to round o, prepare a sea anchor, watch for a smooth spell, and then put the helm down, heave overboard a lew gallons of oil and float the sea anchor. Keep pouring the oil on the sea down a weather pipe or scupper while the ship is coming up to the wind. "In a good steamer, to take a shipwrecked crew off a wreck, run to windward of the wreck, lower the lee boat, put your vessel head to the sea aud dead to windward, and let the boat drop down toward the wreck, veering out on the line and constantly pour ing considerable oil into the sea, which will keep the sea smooth between your ship and the wreak. In using oil bags in heavy weather they should be weighted, if hung over the side, in order to keep them down. When scudding it is best to pour the oil down the closet pipes." NO HARDSHIPS FOB STANLEY. He Has Had Enough Had Traveling and Now Proposes to he Comfortable. Patl Jlall Budget. Mr. Stanley thinks he has undergone suf ficient hardship in his journey through Central Africa, and does not mean to rough it in future travel. In his engagement with the agent who has arranged his forthcoming lecture tour in the States he stipulated that he shall have a private car, in which he may not only travel, but feed and sleep throughout his tour. Colonel Pond not only agreed to this request, but writes that he has bad a car specially constrncted for the use of the lecturer aud his bride. Stanley's remuneration for his lectures is on the same princely style. For his first lecture he will receive 1,000 and 100 lor each repetition. This compares (avorably with his last lecturing tour, which took place short time before he started to rescue Emin. He then contracted to deliver a series of lectures at a fee of 23 each. Of Course. Detroit free Press. A young man at Newark, N. J.,, was left a fortune of (70,000. He went to a dozen different business men to ask how he should invest his cash, and only one man recom mended a mercantile cant rv AU the others adylied him to start a snwijaper. THE PITTSBURG'1 DISPATCH, . SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 9, BLUE STOCKING CULT. A Night Among the library Geniuses at Bayswater, London. GREATNESS THAT OVERWHELMS. The Queen of the Occasion Interviewed on American Authors. BOOK SALES THAT BEAT THE BEC0ED fCOniltSFONPENCE OF TUB DISPATCH. 1 Loudon, Octobor 28. ONDON. like every othea big city, has its "quarters" tertain trades and habits live, move and lave their be ing. In the day time they nay prowl all over the city, but at night they "kennel up" in special districts which by long use asd habit they have come to lcok upon as exclusively tbeir own. In these districts A Bayiwater Poet. tbey form dis tinct colonies, and the outsider before he finds hlmselr a welcome guest there must make himself acquainted with all the shib boleth of the district. It is not only trades and foreigners that have their particular colonies, but lately it has become the fashion for all "cults" and "isms" to herd together in some recognized quarter. Chelsea, when Carlyle was alive, was the recognized home of the particular literary set who followed the "Sage," and since he died it still remains the home of the heavy literary brigade. South Kensing ton is the quarter most affected by the artis tic and senhetic set, who, instead of seeing sermons in books and poems iu running streams, see the same thing in peacock feath ers and old china. THE LITERARY CRANES. But it is Bayswater that is the ideal home of every literary crank in London, where the air is filled with the retrains of odes to a "Dying Mouse," and the author of the latest pamphlet on "The "Way to Run a Slop Shop" is the coming "K" for the time bcingl Literary society as it is in Bays water iu in reality a huge mutual admira- tlon society. Curiously enough there is little jealousy to be found here, and every one seems to try who will scratch the other's back the hardest Women do not say mean things of each other, provided they belong to the society, but instead take great pains to impress upon the stranger that Miss Angelina McFuddle is a genius, with a great big G. They will tell you, with looks of admiration directed toward the genius, that copies of her boot: entitled "Sarah Eidgeway, or the Under done Mutton Chop" sold iu thousands, and that an eager publiois breathlraily awaiting her next book, which, tbey tell you in strict confidence, and under promise not to pub lish the fact, is to be entitled "Dorothy's Baby, or the Story of a Pair of Pantalettes." MAKE YOU PEEL SMALL. If you do venture to hint that you never heard of Miss McFuddle, and bad. never read "Sarah Bidgeway," the look of utter incredulity, and "where were you brought up?" that you are met with, forbids you to try the experiment hvain. I suppose these people do speak slightingly of each other, and decry one anothers "genius" tnd "works" when alone they would not be human if they did not butl will give them thecredit of never doing it before an outsider. I went to one of these Bayswater "at homes" the other day. I was told before I went that I would meet some ol the most distinguished literary men and women in London, and that ought to mean the world. Well, I knock about a good deal and see ing that I earn my living by tho sweat of my pen, I fancied I knew most of tbe current literary men and women and their works by name at any rate. I fouud, however, that what was true iu the big world, was equally trne in tbe literary world, viz: that half the world does not know how the other half lives; for in all the crowd of "litterary fellers" gathered there, I had never before heard tbe name o'f a single one. Woeful ignorance ou my part, no doubt; but I was comforted by the thought that if I was Ignorant of their very existence, bow many "thousand were plunged in equally total darkness! VERY MANY SUBFRISE3. This "at home," however, was a fair rep resentative gathering of literarv Bayswater. On my entrance I was accosted by my host ess, who said: "Now! want to introduce you to a young friend of mine, quite a Gen ius, I can assure you. Of course you have heard of her, Miss Matilda Blatherskite. She has just translated 'Pop Goes the Weasel' from the original Sanskrit, and the rendering she gives is quite different from the accepted version. Of course you have read her translation of 'Hey Diddle, Did dle' from the original Cingalese. No? How strange." On my way across the room I was intro duced to a man in spectacles who, my host ess informed me in a whisper, bad "what you Americans call a boom; and was- the author of the successful novel, 'The Broken Shoestring.'" I found the famous trans lator of "Hey Diddle, Diddle" a mild-mannered young woman with a small nose, "tip tilted line the petal of a flower," and re markably handy, as tbe Irishman said, for taking snuff. "Ah, you come from America, oh ah. It is a very big place America?" WHAT SHE KNEW O? AMERICA. J agreed with her that its size was above the average as countries go nowadays. "Are my works read there much?" Of course I had never heard of her works, but I should never be so rude as to say so, so I assured her that her works were the de light of the nation, and were read with equal pleasure by the millionaire In his mansion on Fi.th avenue and the Sioux Indian in his wigwam. She then "let herself go" on a dissertation on the copyright law, and when she had pumped herself dry on this Mtytettht wast cs its a hart gallop oaths m vi vv' gp "mW A Bayswater Genius. home rule question, taking occasion to praise en passant the American system of government; and as she knew absolutely nothing of what she was talking about it was rather interesting to listen to her. I always like to hear what some people are pleaded to call their "views" on big questions, especially when you can see they know nothing about the matter. As a study of how a thing should not be done it is always interesting. MISS blatherskite's limitations. Miss Blatherskite next proceeded to give me a few particulars of the men and women in the room and a history of their "works." According to what she told me they were all geniuses, or likely to become so. Many of them were still in the incubating prooesu. As the name of genius after eeuius was rat tled off, and books which I was assured had sold in thousands were discussed, I began to think that, nerhaof, after all, I had been living a fool's dream of knowledge, and that my education had been wofully neg lected. When at last she stopped and I managed to get in a word edgewise, I thought I would tackle her ou some of the names that are household words among "them litterary tellers" ou our side of the watfr. "You have heard of Howells and James, I suppose," said I. "6h yes, papa bought me a lovely brace let at their shop the other day." I was staggered until I remembered that Howell & James were well-known jewelers on Eegeut street. I then explained that the Howells and James I meant were the famous novelists. Bather hesitatingly she thought only thought she knew their names, not their works. A rapjd oral examination. "Oliver Wendell Holmes?" Oh yes, she had read his "Democrat at Breakfast." Bret Harte she knew and Eus selbLowell, but when I came to "the forty immortals" of the Critic she had never heard of more than three. "Ever heard of Murat Halstead?" "No." "Johnnv McLean?" "No." ' "Ward McAllister?" ' "No." "Eichard Watson Gilder?" "No." "Amelie Bives?" "No." "Ella Wheeler Wilcox7" "No." "Joseph Pulitzer7" "No.,r $ "Jop Howard?" "Oh, you are teasing me, these people don't exist" "Oh, yes they do," said I, "and their names are known to probably 0,000,000 of people outside Bayswater." "Do vou know who is President of the United States?" "Of course I do; it's General Grant, isn't it?" This is a fact, and I thought it was then time to say goodby. MACLEOD. HALSTEAD A PRISONER now He Camo Near Suffering the Fate of a Spy in Europe. New York World. "I had three tolerably close calls while I was in Europe during the Franco Prussian war," said Murat Halstead the other day. "The first was near Point a Mousson, which is on the Moselle, 17 miles above Metz. Word cam'e that the French were to make a sally with 300,000 men and attack the Bed Prince. M. D. Conway aud I had 'visited a conical mountain, in the neighborhood of which was encamped a Ger man regiment. We concluded that that would be the place to see the approaching battle. We started early in the morning. Of course the French did not come, and when we got to the top of the mountain we fouud the German troops had gone, and while we were considering what was to be done were made prisoners by peasants. "They were looking for just sueh fellows. They were excited; they were hunting for spies. They knew we were not French; they saw that we were not in uniform, and they concluded that we were spies, and iu that character they proposed to massacre us. They gave us a scrap of German news paper to read. I told them we were Ameri cans and produced a copy of the London Telegraph. That seemed to impress them and 1 then drew my passport, and they looked at the American eagle with a good deal of consideration. "There was a big red seal on the parch ment, with ribbons under the wax, floating out in the most impressively officinl way. Minister Wasbburne had fixed that lor me. He told me these ribbons might save my life, and I believe they did. The ribbons and the eagle together staggered them, and, forming a group, they discussed the situa tion while Mr. Conway and myself deliber ately walked away. They allowed us to do this, assuming as a certainty that we would go down the mountain the same way as we came up, but we turned sharply the other way, descending the other side of the moun tain. "They ooncluded to intercept us, and arming themselves with reaping-hooks, made across tbe fields to cut off our retreat That they intended to remove us is certain, but whether they coald sucoeed was not de cided, when the clatter of a troop of horses was heard, and there rode upon the scene a squad of the ubiquitous Uhlans. They turned into the road toward which we were making. The peasants beat a retreat The Uhlans came up just in time to prevent us from disgracing ourselves by running, and preserved our dignity. We lit our cigars to show that tbe situation hadn't excited us." THE MISSISSIPPI FLOODS. A Gigantic Scheme Originating With Cap tain Eads for Preventing Them. St Louis Olobo-Deinocrat. James B. Eads once bad a novel Missis sippi river scheme. He proposed to make St Louis a seaport, or, at any rate, to make it possible for ocean steamers to come right up the river. To do thisit would, of course, be necessary to deepen tbe cbannel, and ordinary dredging would not suffice, owing to the peculiar nature of the bottom and the circuitous route taken by the river. He firopused to shorten the distance between lere and New Orleans nt least 150 miles by cutting canals to avoid exceptionally awk ward curves and double bends. By this shortening process the current would be greatly accelerated, and that in Itself would help to keep the channel open and make floods impossible. He worked out on paper that levees could be done away with by this scheme above the mouth of the Bed river, and was convinced that disastrous floods would be no longer possible. Ot course, such work as would be involved would cost a large sum, but $40, 000,000 would more than cover it, and an immense amount of valuable bottom land would be reclaimed. Eads is dead, but his scheme lives aiter him, and there is nothing to prevent its being carried out. CONVEYED HEAL ESTATE. How the Misguided Swain Extolled the Virtues of His .Love's Papa. Boston Courier. Irate Father What do you mean, sir, by telling me that you want to marry this ignorant and low-born girl ? Misguided Son Father, I know that her people do not move in our set, but tbey are honest; and she is very good'and very beau tiful. I. F. You make me perfectly sick! Do you know what her father does for a liv ing? H. S. Yes, sir, he is a real estate con veyancer. L B". You young scoundrel, don't you know he's done nothing all his life but cart dirt on the road 1 M. S. Thai's what I said. Two Inexplicable Tilings. AtcblsonUlobe. There are two things which men can never understand. One is why they are not apprteialed. Another It, why they are 2BMt4 to ay rxtaUtt aayeaselis, 1890. L0TE IN THE HOME Isn't Usually as Strong as it is on the Eloping Escapade. HOW CUPID MAKES MANY FOOLS. A Comfort Sometimes in the Belief That rate Ties Knots. STATUS OP THE WIPE IS IMFE0YING rwniTTiw roa mt dispatch. A recent writer wisely assures his readers tbat love is like the measles we all have to go through with it sometime or other, whether early or late in llle. But being over bo one need be afraid of it a second time. Cupid never fires but one shot Whether this be true or not can only be told by Individual experience, but there certainly is such a thing as second love, and it is usually much more likely to be accom panied by respect and the quiet affection that gives rest and pleasure to life. The early first love which never can be taken again is what is commonly known as "calf love." The philosopher is just as likely to take it as tbe prince or the peasant, the queen or tbe kitchen maid. A man wise on every other point may be a fool in love. He vv ill be crazy over the object ot his adoration and be determined to marry in spite of every obstacle that can be set up. His friends may see that the woman is not one to suit him. She may be frivolous, giddy and vain, but to him she is, for the time, angelic. WOMEN HAVEN'T THE SAME CHANCE. Women have more excuse than men for making mistakes in marriage. They, as the manners of the world go, have not the same freedom of selection that men seem to possess. They are more nearly confined to Hobson's choice, and have to put up with what they can get But the man who tails in love loses bis head, so to speak. Wis dom, discretion and judgment desert him for the time being, aud as some poet says in his definition of love: It Is a Sunny hour of play For which ropentance dear doth pay. The momentous question of love is the theme of all novels, the subject of all dramas, the foremost topio of real life, and yet it is considered a good deal of a joke. When Mary Ann's John Thomas comes to see heron Sunday night and tbey are happy in the kitchen in the enjoyment of saying fond nothings to each other, they are enjoy ing as much of bliss as Lady Geraldine who is being courted in the drawing room, for "love Is heaven and heaven is love." MATRIMONY IN THE PtJLriT. Talmage says somewhere that the most tre mendous sermons should be preached on the Bubject of marriage, and he holds the pulpit as guilty in not iterating and reiterating practical advice on this subject But what man or woman, when tbey are "dead gone in love," ever take any such preaching to hear.? Even good John Wesley, who saved so many from destruction, and possiblygave the best advice on this point to the young people of bis day, made a blunder in his marriage that was the talk of the country, and he is cited continually as an illustration of how foolish a man can be under the spell of love. There is hardly a paper that can be picked up that does not have a story of an elope ment a marriage against the wishes of parent or imprudent enough to bring cer tain failure. The opinion most often ex pressed on these is that it is quite smart and fine for the young people to get ahead of the obdurate parents. There is much laughing and joking about bow sljrlv they managed it, but, as a general,thing, it is not loug be fore the wisdom of 'parents in their opposi tion is justified. MIS3INO SWEET GIRLHOOD. It is a sorry sight for many mothers to seo their daugnters married in their early girl hood when they should be in school or enjoying the pleasures of youth before they have judgment enough to rear a family well and wisely. It is always sad to see them miss the sweet season of girlhood, and "settle" down to tha cares of life before they have tested its delights. It is also hard to see a young man so self-willed and selfish tbat he will marry with hardly a dollar in his pocket. He little realizes what a struggle he has entered upon, when he undertakes to keep a house and a family on f6 or $7 a week. But she, even less, has any concep tion of how she will have to stint and econo mize. Not long ago a delicately reared girl mar ried for love, and she now lives in a close, stuffy room in a court, and has not had even a new calico for two years. Love in a cot tage is all very delightful, if backed by an adequate income, but love does not stay there long when the wolf reaches the door. But if love is necessary for a happy mar riage, with income enough to manage both ends, it is also be remembered that the CHARACTER OF A HUSBAND is a great factor, or should be so esteemed. If he is cross, grumpy aud selfish, an angel could not expect to live with him happily. Most married people want to get along hap pily. Neither men nor women enjoy a con stant state of hot water. But this very point is what they need to think of before they marry. It should be done before love has run away with the senses before they have tbe measles "they should fly betimes, for only they conquer love that run away." But, after all, it may be that there is something in the old Greek idea that "what ever is fated will take place," or on the Darwin theory of "natural selection," or, as Mr. Ingersoll puts it, tbat the choice of one in preference to all others is the result of forces beyond the control of the indi vidual." This gets us back to the old theory that marriages are made in heaven. It may be tbat the requisite discipline and proba tion for eternal life can be secured iu no other way. It may be that the unhappy marriage of John "Buskin was essential to the drawing forth of his powers or was needed to secure tbe best fruition of his life. A MATTER OP DESTINY. Nature has no respect for the happiness of mankind. The book of destiny is one that no one can translate, 'lis the best use of fate to teach a fatal courage says Emerson. "Go face the tragedies, the disasters, tbe desolations that may come, knowing that you are guarded by the cherubim of destiny.' So if a man or woman feel that it is his or her luck, or fate, or what you will, to make a bad marriage it may be some consolation to them to know it was written in the stars. Or tbey may com fort themselves with the idea advanced that disappointment is a wholesome medicine, or tbat every cloud has a silver lining. Another thing should be remembered on the subject of love, and that is that people change. They grow either upward or down ward. There are men of mind who have in creased in wisdom, in learning in all that tends to intellectual development, and whose wives are shallow-brained and irivo lous and small-natured. They know little or nothing of the questions of the day have no interest in the problems that fill men's minds. These women are the DULLEST Or COMPANIONS, their narrow sphere is limited to gadding and gossiping. Such men are dull and re ticent at home, while in other society, or among men, they may be brilliant, eloquent and the most entertaining of companions. Then there are gilted nonion who are doomed to live with clods men whose lives are given solely to making money who are coarse and vulgar in nature, and who have no share in the hopes and asperations of their companions. These wives married when too young to realize that such things could be, and when their friends warned and besought tbey could not be persuaded that love would not make up for all the drawbacks. Children are taught that if they are good they will be happy both here and hereafter. Thev have numerous crosses and waei and hardships' but when they grow up they think their taste of Eden will certainly be amlaabl Qlxlt MfHUOj Jut it dlu4 into them from morning until night that if they learn housekeeping thoroughly, if they can cook a steak in unsurpassable style, it they can conduct the administra tion of a house tbey will become queen of some man's heart and home asd be happy forever after. DOOMED TO DISAPPOINTMENT. Now would it not be better to let children grow up without fostering such illusions as that? Why should they have the pain of discovering that their most Cherished dreams have no foundation in fact? Tbat while they may be good as gold, pure and upright, full of loving kindness and benevolence, yet still the promised good does not ma terialize. One man writes that the heaven ot a wife is to be found in her never-failing, untiring devotion to him, but observation shows they fall far short of It quite often. The idea of some men as to a wife is tbat she should be au unfailine, untiring attend ant upon their wishes and wants, and there need not be any other side to the matter. This man wanted to have his slippers warmed and brought to him as soon as he came home. Whether he called upon her to blacken his boots when he went down town again does not appear. THE WORLD IS IMPROVING. To Speak plainly, men have had too much of this pampering by tired, self-sacrificing wives. What needs impression at present, especially among loreigners, is that heaven lor a wife means something more than "her never-falling, untiring devo tion." When there is noue of that on the"other side, she is tempted to thins: a good deal On what a fool she was to get married at all. iWhat is needed to make life sweet on both sides is the love tbat is gentle and kind, the respect that is mutually due, the affection shown by loving acts, tbe friend ship which inspires self sacrifice, but does not demand it as if by coercive authority. In many homes such a condition of things already exists. The world is growing better upon this point, as men are gradually sur mounting their prejudices as to home rule and their position as domlnus. Bessie Bramble. PBESERVHTG THE VOICE. Overwork Is Its Enemy Just as It Is of Life and Health. How to preserve the voice and keep it presumably fresh is almost like asking how to Keep from growing old, says Camplnini in the Ladiet' Some Journal. Some people grow faster than others becanse they are im prudent and do not take care of themselves. The voice should not be imposed upon, and instead of growing husky in a decade it should remain comparatively fresh for two and even four decades. Patti's voice is a fine example of one that has never been im posed upon, never been forced to sing six nights iu a week and once at a matinee. A grand opera singer should sing only twice a week, perhaps three times if his or her physical condition warrants it Singers should have plenty oi sleep, good appetites, nothing to make them nervous, and, if pos sible, a more or less phlegmatic disposition. The latter they rarely possess to any great degree. Overwork is death to a voice. A singer will not notice at first the inroads that gradually undermine a voice aud leave it an echo of its former sweetness. GAY EMPEE0E WILLIAM. Not Averse to Slipping His Good Arm Around a Tapering Waist The young German Emperor has a shriv eled arm, but the right arm is endowed with extraordinary strength and vigor, and this youthful monarch is not averse to putting it to a very noble use at times, to-wit, en circling a taper waist. During a trip to Norway this summer, says the San Francisco Argonaut, he took great pleasure In ranging about incognito, and one day an officer ot the Imperial yacht had the misfortune to come face to face with the young Emperor, when tbe latter had a very pretty girl by his side. What was to be done? It was too late to turn back. To halt, face front and salute would put the youthful Monarch in a bad fix. Under these circumstances, the officer turned his back and pretended to be gazing into a shop window. Suddenly he felt a sharp pinch-on the arm and heard a voice whispering: "You did that very nicely. Try to find as pretty a girl as I have. You have leave of absence until to morrow morning." The Emperor's special chum is Count Eulenburg, and tbe two friends, attired in 'the style of well-to-do citizens, take great delight in knocking about the streets of Berlin, arm in arm, smoking cigarettes. BLGTJLATING THE EANGE. Simple Devices for Increasing the Effective ness of Shotgnns. Louisville Courier-Journal. One of the most recent discoveries of the guumakers is a method of increasing tbe range of any gun. The new device is known as the Shrapnell shell, and consists of a brass ball, slightly smaller than the bore of the gun, which is divided into halves, each half being fitted with two small flanges, each flange having a tiny hole in it, through which a steel wire can be passed. The shell is filled with any size of shot desired, and the wire being pasted through the holes, the halves are held together, making a solid ball. At the bottom end of the shell a thick felt wad is fitted of the size to fit the bore of the gun. The cartridge is loaded I THC T'A'a Wire and.Wad J She'.- eoAtPLfTe with powder in the usual way, with the usual wads, and on the top of these the Shrapnell shell is forced down so that tbe wad at the bottom of the wire comes next to tbe wads over the powder, and the brass shell lies snug within the cartridge. When the gnn is fired the wad fits the barrel and prevents any escape of gas, and so leaves the muzzle behind the shell. As It strikes the air the wind catches the edges of the wad, which is slightly larger than the cir cumference of the shell, and so draws the wire slowly ont, and sets free the two halves of the shell, when the shot spreads as if just leaving the muzzle of the gnn. With this equipment I have shot curlews at a distance ot 147 yards with an ordinary 12-bore gun, of which the average range may be said to be 30 to CO yards. By cutting the wire with a pair of sharp nippers (being careful not to leave any rough overhanging edges to catch in the small flange holes) the spread of the shot can be made to take the place at almost any distance, as the shorter the wire the sooner it is withdrawn. CM) 2i l i J- - Women' Muscle. Detroit Free Press. Six women at Castile, N. Y., seized hold of a rope with six men at the other end, and the women pulled so strong that the fore most man was pulled down and had bis nose broken. They weren't picked for their "moscls, but Just happsntd along in time to tafct kani Is, THE WEATHER WAND In Fairy Hand Makes the Seasong Pass in Review in Dreamland. MAI SHOWERS, SUMMER FLO WEBS iVitberlnz Frosts and Bltinz Blasts Along Her Winding Stair, 1QUALLED ETEKI DAI IS P1TTSBBE8 tWBITTIW TOE TBI DISPATCH.1 "See what kind of weather we are going to have?" I soliloquized as I walked out of the office and into tho street "That's a pe culiar assignment, indeed! As if anyone could give A true forecast of what is going to come in Pittsburg. Now if I were in direct communication with the weather foundry above " "Why shouldn't you be?" interrupted a sweet, musical voice at my side; and when I looked around I saw the prettiest little lady imaginable. She wore a dress of the finest satin, and carried a dainty little silk um brella to shield her precious head from the ceaseless rain, that was like unto a deluge. I was taken so unawares that I scarce knew what to do or say. "Why shouldn't you be?" repeated the little charmer. "At least yon shall if you'll be so good as to go with me and mind' what I tell you." Of course I was only too glad to go espe cially in such splendid company. I made all the promises possible and then when I turned to look around expecting to see a cab that would convey us to onr destination I noticed that I was not in th city at all and wondered how in the world I had got ten into that big open park. There, too, was something I had not seen before a tall, winding stairway of brass seeming to pierce the heavens, it was so high. UP A WINDING STAIR. The little lady waived her silken um brella and up the steps we started. I had come out prepared for all kinds of weather and of course wore an overcoat and carried an umbrella. Before many moments I be came entirely too warm." "Hold onl1' I cried. "This is too much. I'm getting tired and besides it's awfully warm for some reason or other." 3Iy companion laughed a merry rippling laugh and I saw that instead of an um brella she now carried a little wand of gold. Tbe clouds bad all cleared away and we were out in the pleasant sunshine. Flowers were blooming everywhere. I decided that overcoats and umbrellas were of no use in such a delightful climate, but when I essayed to remove them I found that I had no overcoat and in place ot an umbrella I now carried a dainty little golden cane. The little one noticed my look of surprise and her joyous laugh rang through the air. She would make no explanations, bnt soon asked if I were not ready to ascend higher and see the mysteries of the clouds. "Up! Up!" I cried, "We'll see the ruler of the clouds belore we stop!" INTO THE WINTER'S BLASTS. This caused the little beauty to laugh more heartily than ever and feeling the in spiration of the moment I joined in. Soon I began to sing of the beauties of summer, bnt before I bad gotten through one verse, a chill overspread my entire being and as I looked up something struck me in the face. I fouud myself in the midst of a miserable hail storm and began to wonder if that were seat upon me as a judgment for having dared attempt to sing. I glanced in the direction of my guide and behold what a change! From head to foot she was one dark mass. Soon, however, she turned toward me and then I saw her beautiful shining face again. She was decked out in a water proof, rendv for the worst of weather. There I stood shivering, wondering where my um brella was and wishing I had my overcnat "What are you grnmbliug about?" asked the Jittie creature in a severe voice, almost before I knew I really was grumbling. "Why don't you say what you want?" And there she stood holding out a mackintosh, which I found just the thing for tbat sort ol weather. "Let's move on," said I, hoping that ac tion would drive away the "shivers." INTO SHOWERS OS" MAT. Again the little girl took up the march, and soon we emerged from the storm into a shower of rain as light and warm as the showers of May. "Surely this is springtime," said It ad dressing my companion. "The pretty birds, with their songs lull of joy to their Maker, will soon be heard'in the trees, and then all will be bright and happy summer." "Yes, there will be birds," she replied, naively, "but I am afraid they'll disap point you somewhat, "For I am the Winter King, Pee dee dee." Then I noticed her waive her tiny wand, and even as she did so I found myself iu tho midst of a snow storm. The light, fleecy snow was falling on every hand. I imag ined tbat already everything was covered with the beautijul flakes, aud in the dis tance I could hear the tinkle of the sleigh bells and the merry, joyous langh of the sleighing party. ONLY A DAY OP PlTTSBtTRa WEATHER. Again I was shivering and turned to my little friend to ask the meaning of it all, but she was gone. I could see her nowbere. But somebody shook me roughly by the shoulder and J stood in the presence of a man I bad often seen before, but whose name I could not remember. "Where am I?" I exclaimed. "In the Signal Service office: Can I da anything for you?" was the reply. "Why, I thought I had visited the clouds with a beautiful little fairy as a guide. I saw it rain and snow and hail, and I stood in 'the beautiful sunshine admiring the sweet scented roses of summer. It is really too bad it's not true?" I said rather mourn lully. "That's all right, young man," said the Sargent with a smile. 'The only thing that's lacking is the fairy. Yon've m'erely passed through one dayf Pittsburg's weather." Frank A. Burr. A PIEATE FISH HAWK. How Be Knocked Fish Ont of a Sea Gall and Got a Meal. Governor Sterett, of Dallas, Tex., tells this story in the St Louis GJoBe-.De7nocraf. While on a fishing and hunting expedition on the Atlantic coast in North Carolina a few days since my attention was attracted by the shrill and frantic cries of a sea gull. As I looked upward I saw a bird resembling a hawk strike the gull under its claws, wheu down came a fish and the pirate bird after it. The fish had not gone ten feet before the pirate had it in his stomach. Then he soared upward with lightning rapidity, and descending equally as quick, struct the screaming gull on its back with such force that the contents oi its stomach were forced out of its mouth, and the pirate caught it in the air as it fell. At this point I took aim at the pirate with my shotgun, and brought him down. GOOD-HATtTEED FIGHTEE3 Slay as Well Quit the Prize King, Accord lng to Knocker Slavln. To be "good-natured" or "good-tempered, at least to possess either of these qualities to any considerable extent, Is a bar to succeM In the ''prize ring," or rather, to be with, tbe times, we should say in "glove con tests." Such, at least, is tbe opinion of Mr. Frauk Slavin, for in a conversation with correspondent recently be said" that his re cent opponent, Mr. McAuliffe, was both far too"good-tempered"and"good-natured"tTer to win a fight against a really dsteralneal aaan. anything; llkabii ewa'soaal in skill a Lnntt. jS ii f :I I
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers