KggKga wtb- spfgHgmr C' Wg?' THE PITTSBURG DISPATCH, SATURDAY, OCTOBER 25, 1890. - THE LATEST NEWS. THE MOST RELIABLE NEWS. 160 DISPATCH 160 COLUMNS TO-MORROW COLUMNS WILL HOLD 20 8 COLUMN PAGES. ALL THE POLITICAL NEWS. ALL THE FOREIGN NEWS. ALL THE HOME NEWS. A COMPLETE NEWSPAPER. an THE BEST QA H CONTRIBUTORS AND " PAGES CORRESPONDENTS. PAGES HIGH CLASS FICTION. TALES OF TRAVEL AND ADVENTURE. ALLTHESPORTING GOSSIP. LATEST MARKET REPORTS. LARGEST AND BEST. READ THE CLASSIFIED ADVERTISEMENTS IF YOU WANT ANYTHING. SERVED BY MAIL OR CARRIER. ALL NEWS AGENTS HANDLE IT. LOOK OUT FOR KIPLING'S FIRST SERIAL. KIPLING'S FIRST SERIAL. ESTABLISHED FEBRUARY i. 1S4B. oL 5, o. mo. Entered at Pittsburg L'ostomce, 2OTemberl4, ls7, as second-class matter. Business OfficeCorner Smithfleld and Diamond Streets. News Booms and Publishing House 76, 77 and 79 Diamond Street EASTEKJ AUVEirriblNG OFFICt, KOOMH, TKIBBM1 BUILDING, .NEW YORK, where complete files of THE DISPATCH can always be round, lorelcn aaTertleera appreciate thecon- enlence. Home advertisers and mends or TUE DISPATCH, while In 2ew York, are also made welcome. THE DISPATCH U regularly on sale a Jirentano's, S Union Square. Xew York, and 27 Ave. de C Opera. Paris, Prance, where any one who has been disappointed at a hotel news stand can obtain it. TER3IS OF THE DISPATCH. I STACE FUZE I!f THE UJOTED STATES. VXtvr Di'PATCn, One Year. I S 00 Daili DiETATcn, PerQuarter ICO DA1LT DisrATCH, One .Mouth 0 DaILT DISPATCH, lncludingSunday, lyear. 1000 Dailt DisrATCH, InclodinEbnndaj.Sm'ths. ISO DA1LT DisrATCH. lncludingbunday.lmonth SO Mtsdai Dispatch. One Year ISO V rrinr Dispatch, One ear 1S5 liir Daily Dispatch is de tvercd by carriers at - ccnttcr week, or Including Sunday edition, t ' 20 cents per t eeK. PITTSBURG. SATURDAY. OCT. 25. 189a A DISTURBING DEPARTURE. The action of the Philadelphia Company, yesterday, in notifying half a dozen of the mills who are its largest consumers that the supply of gas for their puddling furnaces will be shut off next week, introduces a new and by no means satissactory phase of the fuel supply of the city. As this notice is accompanied by the announcement that, as rapidily as the domestic demand for the gas increases, the company will withdraw its supply from the mills, the public is con fronted with the fact that so far ss the cor poration is concerned, which has been per mitted to absorb the natural gas business of the city, the manufacturers of Pittsburg must go back to coal and soot. The statement in behalf of the company of its reasons for this action are clear enough. They do it because the business of supplying honses with gas pays tbem better. If there was a decrease in the supply of gas that rendered it impossible to supply both houses and mills, this would be recognized as a good reason for discontinuing the latter business; but we are informed by the officers of the Philadel phia Company that the contrary is the case 'and that they have more gas than ever. If it was proposed to extend the domestic busi ness by reducing the price, the public might find it satisfactory. But when there is no indication of that policy, it is likely to be questioned whether this abrupt cutting off from the manufacturing establishments of their luel snpply, carries out in good faith the purposes for which the company was endowed with the many public favors that have enabled it to reach its present position. It is certain that the interest of Pittsburg as a community is more deeply involved in keeping up the supply of natural gas to its manufacturing establishments, so long as that supply exists, than in any other public object Indeed the universal interest to that effect should have some influence on the Philadelphia Company; which, if the policy continues of making it to the advantage of manufacturing establish ments to locate outside of Pittsburg, may find that its domestic fuel business is more likely to diminish than to increase. These considerations, with a score more that could be amplified, make it a public matter that so long as our mills and factories can be supplied with gas they shall be; and if no remedy for the present situation is dis covered, there can hardly be a more severe lesson on the policy of leaving a business of f-uch vital importance subject to the control of a single corporation. Plainly, if this policy is carried out it is time for the manufacturers of Pittsburg to look out for themselves, and it will be an indorsement of the wisdom of those who have already provided their own cas snpply. Probably new gas companies will be able to take up the business which the Philadel phia is discarding. Possibly the manu facturers mav be able to supply themselves with artificial gas at a cost not much above tbat of the natural fuel. In all efforts to prevent the return of the mills to coal, the community will join. If the wort ot build ing up new agencies to retain our manu facturers iu their present position has to be taken in hand, Pittsburg should profit by past experience, and take care tbat her manufacturing industries are not again sub jected to the disadvantage of being left without fuel, by the action of a single cor poration. TOBIES OX THE RUN. Some of the Tory journals in England are trying to show how the Gladstonian candi date at Eccles might have been defeated. Of these attempts to befog the unpleasant fact of a defeat the funniest is the assertion of one Tory journal that, had Mr. Glad stone's speech on the eight-hour question been published before the election, the Con servatives would have won. With the same end in view the Tones are circulating stories of dissatisfaction among the manu facturers who are in the Liberal party, with regard to Mr. Gladstone's indorsement of the eight-hour system. As to the election at Eccles, it is certain that Gladstone could hardly have made a wiser move than to speak favorably of the eight-hour system, bnt as it happened he did not make the speech till after the elec tion. The foremost issue in the Eccles fight was the Irish policy of the Govern ment, and the significance of the Tory de feat is unmistakable. The reports of Mr. Gladstone's deliverance at "West Calder on the eight-hour question are too meager for us to comprehend bis position exactly. Probably it will be found that the Grand Old Man has indorsed the principle of shortening the hours of labor rather than any specific measure for enforcing the prin- Wlje Bigpiaj. ciple. Any disaffection 'which may result among the manufacturers from Mr. Glad stone's radicalism 'will be more than offset by the solidifying of the English labor Tote iu the support of the Liberal platform. BLUNDERS ABOUT THE TARIFF. The Dispatch has devoted considera ble space to correcting wild statements of fact indulged in by some of its Democratic coteniporaries on the subject of the sugar duties. When its protectionist cotenipora ries make equally wild assertions it is no more than fair to point out the errors and the necessity of greater accuracy. A re markable example of that sort is presented by the Chicago Inter Ocean which, in answer to an inquiry about the new duties on firearms, pocket cutlery, pearl buttons and sngar, made the following assertions In a recent issue: Firearms of common quality retain the old rate of duty. Breech-loaders and superior grades are lowered. Sugar is creatly reduced, all under No. IS Dutch standard 6etno now admitted free. Pearl buttons are not specifically mentioned in either the old or new tariff; presumably they pay duty as manufactures of ivory, vegetable ivory, or mother-of-pearl," which is 40 per cent by new tariff against 35 by old. The cutlery list is too long for analysis. Here are five different statements with re gard to the tariff, none of them of such im portance as the Democratic misrepresenta tions on the effect of the sugar duties. But the need for accuracy in this connection, is illustrated that of these five statements by a leading protectionist journal, on matters which can be determined by a cursory ex amination of the tariff bill, the only one that is correct is that "the cutlery list is too long for analysis," which certainly fails to furnish specific information. It is hard to believe that the Inter Ocean would make intentional misstatements. It is none the less au important fact that on the entire list of double and single-barreled shot guns and revolvers, in addition to the old ad valoiem duty of 35 per cent, specific duties of from forty cents to six dollars each are imposed on all grades from the cheapest to the high est priced, the only firearms left subject to the old duty of 25 per cent being "muskets and sporting rifles." In sugar the verbal error is made of stating that it is re duced when the reduction does not take place, and the further error is made of put ing the limit of free sugar at No. 13 instead No. 16. So far from pearl buttons not being specifically mentioned, they are mentioned in section No. 429, where, in ad dition to the old ad valorem duty, a specific duty of "two cents per line button measure of one-fortieth of an inch per gross" is im posed, while "ivory, vegetable ivory, bone and horn buttons" are made subject to a fifty per cent duty. Either blunder by itself would be a slight matter; but the habit of making hap hazard statements about the tariff could hardly receive a more striking illustration than this collection of errors. No discus sion of tariff matters can be of any profit unless it is based upon accurate statements. All errors of statement with regard to the duties, whether they are unintentional or the reverse, can only mislead and falsify the public judgment When we find a protec tionist organ on one side committing the errors above noted, and the Democratic press on the olher making the no less radi cal misstatement tbat the margin of protec tion to the sugar refiners has been increased, the need for depending less upon the imagi nation and mors upon the documents for statements of fact is made very manifest AS ANDREWS PRESENTED THE3L Mr. Robert T. Lincoln says that he "ex pressed his personal opinion on the facts as Mr. Andrews presented them," but he care fully declines expressing any more opinions, and even refnsed the opportunity to have the facts, as stated by men of the standing of Mr. Walsh, laid before him. As the Pennsylvania public has had some ex amples of the way iu which Mr. Andrews presents what he calls facts, it will entirely approve Mr. Lincoln's determination not to talk any more on that sort of information, but it can hardly indorse his reiusal to be better informed. As a foreign Minister, he would have been justified in refusing to be drawn into a purely State political contest, but having been deluded by Mr. Andrews into getting into it, he ought to see the necessity of learning the whole facta of the case. We believe that it was one of the characteristic of the greater Lincoln to in sist on knowing the whole of a matter be fore he passed judgment on it NO INCOGNITOS HERE. The heir to the Russian throne, Nlcolay Alexandrovitch, is coming to this country. It is officially announced that "it has been so arranged that under no consideration will his imperial presence here be known to anyone." The only possible way by which the Czarewitch can make a tour here incog nito would be in a hermetically sealed casket and this would be disagreeable to His Imperial Highness if he had objections to dying as a preliminary. Even as a corpse he would stand an excellent chance of col liding with an American Coroner. Bnt the Czarewitch intends to travel alive, and he may as well make up his mind to enjoy the publicity which will be sure to attend bis movements wherever he goes iu this land of the free. He will be inter viewed before he leaves the steamer, and if he is wise he will set about preparing his impressions of America at once, so as to be ready for the demands that will be made upon him. But if the Czarewitch cannot be promised seclusion in bis incognito he can be assured of safety. Reporters will be the most dangerous conspirators he need fear. He is more likely to be killed with kind ness than by dynamite. Perhaps the sight of a contented and prosperous people in the highest state of freedom might make a decent ruler for Russia some day. A ROYALIST MISTAKE. The Comte de Paris, in a speech to his comrades of the Army of the Potomac the other day, while complimenting the United States tor its successful maintenance of re publican institutions, permitted his per gonal and dynastic predilections to modify his friendly expressions toward republican ism as applied to Prance. He intimated that republicanism could not be permanent in Prance, and tbat patriotic Frenchmen considered it a duty to recall the dynasty which would heal the wounds of the nation as tbey had been healed by Henry of Na varre. Since the aspirant to the throne of Prance has allowed himself, while a guest of this country, to allude to bis position toward French politics, it is not only pertinent but requisite for the press to say that the people of this country have very little faith in his theory or sympathy with his efforts to carry it out by making himself King of Prance. The vast majority of those who take pride in the stability and success of our repub lican institutions are glad to recognize in Prance a proof that the same qualities can I take root there despite the efforts of the roy alists or the jealousy of the imperial gov ernments of the continent , The Republic of Prance is far from being a perfect one, as is indeed the case with our own. But so far from showing any signs that it cannot be permanent, it is affording the strongest demonstration to the contrary. It has now lasted twenty years, which is longer than any other form of government has endured in Prance since the old Bourbon monarch? was overthrown bv tbe Revolu tion. It has repaired the terrible disasters of a war brought on by imperial ambition. It is stronger and more stable now than at any previous 6tage of its existence. Especially under the wise and cautious ad ministration of President Carnot it has shown itself to be able to maintain the honor and preserve the welfare of France. Beyond that, it is necessary to S3y in re ply to an intimation like that of the Comte de Paris, that republicanism has been the source and foundation of all the success and glories of Prance for the past century. The first Republic, disfigured and convulsed as it was by revolution and terror, established the patriotism and developed the military material which enabled France to become the great military power of Europe at the beginning of the century. Imperial and monarchist rule have wasted the strength of Prance and brought her fortnnes to the low est ebb; but both in the last century and in this one, the Republic when permitted to work out its full results has restored all the loss. There is every reason to believe that the French people have arrived at a full appreciation of the fact, and will resist the attempts of adventurers of all classes to overthrow their present form of government The Comte de Paris is a welcome and honored guest in this country, solely on ac count of his personal relations to our own history. He should know, however, that the sympathy of this nation for ponular government in Prance cannot be perverted by our appreciation of his personal friend ship to the United States. BUNCOMBE ON BOTH SIDES. That illustration in some of the protec tionist organs, which represented a large crowd of button workers rejoicing around a bonfire in front of a four-story factory over an increase of wages on account of the Mc Kinley bill, is given a crnel stab by tbe New York World. That perniciously ac tive journal has sent a reporter to Yineland, where the reported rejoicing was held, and found there a one-story building where but tons were made by about two dozen oper atives whose wages were recently advanced to about nine dollars a week to prevent a strike. The fact is that claims of increase or decrease of wages on account of the tariff are simply moonshine, because it is not yet time for the effects of that law to be felt A year hence will be soon enough to judge of that THE BOYCOTT IN POLITICS. The report of the last development of the Congressional fight in McKinley's district indicates a degree of heat, beside which the liveliness of our State campaign is as a spring zephyr. This particular outbreak of campaign lunacy is a resolution reported to have been passed at a Republican meeting to boycott all merchants who have asserted that prices are increased on account of the McKinley bill. As this is very much tbe same sort ot action as if the supporters of Pattisnn in this State should resolve to boy cott every man who asserts that the tariff will be affected by the election of the Gov ernor of Pennsvlvania, it will be seen that the Canton district leaves Pennsylvania wholly in tbe shade which is to the ad vantage of Pennsylvania. It is reported that the Democratic mer chants of Canton are very much wrought up over the boycott; but there is not tbe slight est reason why they should be. In the first place the utter silliness of that class of partisan delirium is illustrated by the fact that there are more Democrats than Repub licans in Stark county, and if the boycott should be introduced in politics a Democratic boycott of all mer chants who say that the McKin ley bill has not advanced prices would hurt more than the Repub lican variety which has just been pro claimed. But every man knows that no such silliness will be put into actual effect It does not take many days alter the elec tion for the American people to recover their full reason, and within two weeks the Republicans of Canton will be able to per ceive that what peopie say about the Mc Kinley bill is of little importance so long as its effect is all right, and whether that is right or not, the place where they want to buy goods is where they can get the beat valne lor their money. The merchants of Canton can rest assured that as long as they cansell as cheaply and sell goods of as good quality as their com petitors, they need fear no political boy cott We can not imagine the canny Quakers or Pennsylvania Dutch of that section paying higher prices for goods rather than buy them of men who had committed the political crime of saying that the Mc Kinley bill put up prices. CAMPBELL'S SUCCESS. The Democrats in the Obio Legislature have at last swallowed the medicine pre pared for them by the Governor, by passing the bill providing for a non-partisan and home rnle government in Cincinnati, and then adjourning. In this way the purpose of Governor Campbell to clear out the cor ruption of the present Cincinnati govern ment has met with practical success. The delay in adopting bis views on the part of that Democratic element which thinks it bad politics to expose corruption in its own party, has only served to call attention to their tenderness toward the dishonest ring in Cincinnati. The effect will be to tem porarily damage the Democracy in Ohio, which has already weakened itself by its proneness to gerrymanders and millionaire Senators. Bnt Campbell, as a Democratic leader, has undoubtedly given himself a popular strength that will be felt in the future. The man who is prompt and vigor ous iu his attacks on corruption in his own party will always command the confidence of the people. THE TWENTY-FIFTH CONTEST. If there has been any calculation that Thomas W. Phillips, the Harmony nominee for Congress in the Twenty-fifth district, will be defeated on Tuesday week, so as to allow the Democratic candidate to win the seat, it is rather more likely than not to prove a serious error. Mr. Phillips is an able, honest and popular man. His integ rity and straightforwardness are perfectly well understood by the people; and he is nobody's servant in politics. That both bargaining and bribery were conspicuously involved in the first Republican nomina tion no one pretends to dispute. Mr. Phillips, the second nominee, represents the opposition to these agencies. There are many Democrats who on an issue of this sort, and in support of such a fair man as Mr. Phillips, should be able to rise superior to party lines. At a time when they are commending a numerous element in the Republican party for taking a stand in the Governorship contest ontside of par tisan influence, it might be consistent and becoming to exhibit, for their own part, something of a like spirit in the Twenty fifth district At all events, until the na tional councils 'of the Democracy change their attitude of antagonism to the tariff, the best interests of Pennsylvania will dis tinctly be subserved by sending Republic ans to Congress. The rush lor the pension agency position Is earnest and sincere: but the fact that more people bare got to be disappointed than can get the office will postpone the appointment until after election. Besides which, the admin istration may desire to wait and see which wing of the Republican party it will be wise to tie to for the f nture. The "absenteeism" of Congressman Stahl necUer, of New York, Is the subject of attack by the New York Tribune, which asserts that out of 462 roll-calls Mr. Stablnecker was absent from 896. The abnse is a notorious one, and Mr. Stahlnecker seems to afford a very eligible case for reproof. But would not the esteemed Tribune's attack on the evil bare been more effective if it had included one or two Repub lican statesmen who are exponents of the same practice? (Senator Stanford, of California, and possibly one or both of the Senators from Penn sylvania, might furnish the Tribune with a text on that point It is asserted that Troy is now receiving orders for collars from Africa. There would seem to bo good reason for a demand from that continent for shirts; bnt for the savages to sub ject themselves to the restraints of collars would seem to be premature, unless thej are In a hurry to adopt the insignia of practical poll tics. It is intimated tbat if there Is any peril to tbe tariff from tbe next House being Demo cratic, It will not be duo to the labors of tbe Na tional Congressional Democratic Committees. Those distinguished bodies are doing nothing with great assidnity. This is, perhaps, the rea son why tbe Delamater managers, wbo are rais ing the cry of "wolf" over the tariff, are throw ing their support to a Democratic anti-tariff candidate in the Third Congressional district of this State, in the hope of securing votes on tbe State ticket in consideration thereof. With the head of the Pension Bnreau in Illinois, Treasurer Huston in Indiana, the head of the Census .Bureau across the sea, and vari ous other office-holders doing political work all over the country, it is necessary tm some one to be at his post, and the fact that Barclay has resigned appears to be no bar to his selection. Me. Heney P. Keenan, a young writer of character and promise, has declared his preference for Pattlson in the State cam paign, and tbe Philadelphia Inquirer spitefully asserts that "a few years ago Mr. Keenan de clared that he did not understand American politics." This is indiscreet on tbe part of tbe disesteemed Jnguiier, as it only emphasizes tbe fact that since then Mr. Keenan has como to understand American politics, and to ex press bis entire dissatisfaction with tbe Dela mater kind. The storm iu New York which has raised the waters in the bay so high as to flood some of the streets, may bo explained on the hy pothesis of the determination of some power of nature to adopt Hercules' method of cleans ing out the Augean stables. Mb. Powderly does not leave much of A. M, Dewey's effort to turn the K. of L. vote over to the Delamater managers. The Dela mater labor politicians who are objecting to the General Master Workman's circular be cause it introduces politics in the order, are really "disposed to kick because it does not leave enough politics in tbe Dewey scheme to hold a funeral over. The reports that Governor Poster is waging his Congressional fight in Ohio with good chances of success shows that tbe Stand ard OH Company, if it is beaten in Pennsyl vania, has hopes of compensation In Ohio. The stoppage of the sugar refineries iu New York is very plainly a political move in the interest of Democratic Congressmen In Brooklyn. But the assertion tbat it is caused by the McKinley bill does not harmonize very well with the declarations of the Democratic organs that tho Sugar Trust will cet more ont of tbe change in the sugar duties than anyone else. The Italian applicant for naturalization in New York who. when asked why representa tives were sent to Albany, replied: "To make money," seems to be qualified to take a leading part in tbo work of practical politics. "It is safe to say," remarks the New York Bun, "tbat the West has not had such a vigor ous Democratic shaking up as Governor Hill is giving it since the full vigor of Thomas A. Hendricks and Allen G. Thurman." This push to tbe Hill boom by the vigorous Sun illustrates that Eastern frame of mind which locates the Canton, O., district in "the West" PEES0HAL MENTION. General Benjamin F. Butler is making an extended tour of tbe Northwest in his own parlor car. The Count of Paris thinks Sherman was the greatest, because the most original General produced by our war. Congressman John Daxzell received a very hearty reception on Cincinnati 'Change yesterday. He was tho guest of Mr. L. C. Goodale. Rev. Edward Everett Hale is 68 years old. He was a newspaper man in his youth, and even now, if called on, he could set type or report a lire in an entirely creditable way. Secretaries Blaine and Windom, who served togetber in the Garfield Cabinet, and have been most intimate friends since, are said to be the only out and out chums in the nresent Cabinet Marie Nevtns Blaine is under engage ment to write a series of articles for one of tbe newspaper syndicates, and she is well enough to undertake the work, although by no means wholly recovered. Francis Fareman, the historian, has taken to gardening, and is as successful at it as was Evelyn. He is particularly fond of roses. He is writiug again, caviar in a great measure re covered his health. Fringe Maxiwtt.lian, nephew of tbe Grand Duke ot Baden, will shortly be betrothed to Princess Victoria Louisa, of Schleswig-Hols-steln-Souderbourg-Augustenborg, a grand daughter of Queen Victoria. Mr. McAllister mentions in his annals of tbe Four Hundred that he gave a picnic on his Newport farm one summer, and, having no cattle or sheep of his own, he got a lot of them from neighboring farmers to lend picturesque ness to the view. Many a man has tided over a more serious crisis by borrowing stock for a day or two. Miss White, a missionary attached to the China Island Mission, has a daring scheme in prospect to elude the vigilance of the Thibetan officials on the frontier and to enter the do minions of the Grand Lama. She has already familiarized herself with the language and Is only awaiting an ansplcious opportunity to attempt a feat which no Englishman has ac complished in the last half century. Prince Farnese Arip Bey, who died the other day at Constantinople, was the last sur vivor of the illustrious Italian family of Far nese, which has now become extinct The his tory of this gret house, dating back to the rthirteenth century, has yet to be written. When given to the world the story will be found to touch upon almost every great move ment of the European family during the last four centuries. CONGRESSMAN DALZELI, has written a letter for THE DISPATCH on tho requisites for success at the bar. It is a paper of great valne to everybody and young lawyers in particular. See to-morrow's Big Issue. Twenty pages, largest circulation. SNAP SHOTS IN SEASON. The tongue is all right It's the power which cropels It tbat does all tbo mischief. 'Were you ever under tbe surgeon's knife? Did a bone snap, an artery clog, a swelling come, a bullet lodge, a fleshy growth Interfere with tbo workings of tba wonderful human mechanism? Did you ever have cold steel placed against your warm flesh? Of course you haven't all escaped, have you? I hope you have, though. Those of you who have dodged this ordeal so far may be obliged to pats through It, however. But don't worry on this score. The machinery is liable to get cranky at any moment; you know. A joint may stiffen, a clot may gather, a cord may twist a muscle may slacken, everything may be thrown out of gear in tbe twinkling of an eye. And there you are crippled, broken, help less. If It be a something which needs repairing a displacement obstruction, dam ming up then the knife, tbe probe, the cold blue steel is the doctor. A careful band, a steady eye, a sharp blade is the medi cine. Is it hard to take? Well, tbat depends. Really, though, the preparations for the dose are worse than the administering. If at borne, there's the carpet to be covered,the pile of lint, the bandages, tbe cold oilcloth for the cool sheet If In the hospital, tbe operating table with all that goes with it These stare you in the face, test your 'nerves, shock your weak ened system you live a day in an hour, a week in a day, a year In a week, waiting for the awful time. And then the medicine tbe keen blade, the smooth probe is given. Did tbey "put you to sleep?" No. Woll. how the knlte did burn, didn't it! Carefully, carefully! Sting, sting, sting burn, burn, burn! Tbere you are, my lad; steady, now. There! Ob, what a re lief I How tho pain and tbe pressure fly away. God bless the knife, tbe tonder. steady band, tho kind, sharp eye, tbe cheerful wordsl Over so soon, too. Why did we count the seconds, the minutes, tbe hours awaiting your coming, anyway? Silly, weren't we? A sting and a oy in th6 same breath, wasn't it? God bless the knife agalnl It can cut and kill; it can Cut and give life, hope, health. Don't look at it with fear and trembling. It is sharp, but it bears upon its keen edge a magic message of mercy; it burns, but it banishes pain; it stings, but It soothes. May heaven keep you from it, just the same. But if the blade must cut into your tissues, or the saw eat through your marrow, be patient brave, cheerful. Nerve, my boy, is better than any an res the tic Don't let the lint scare you, the blade shock you, or tbe gruff voiced but tender-fingered surgeon unman you. Ihe sore smarts, but it soon heals. It leaves a scar, but thank the knife that gave you the life to carry it You can gauge the wealth of the departed, not his worth, by the height of the tombstone. If Delamater be Should beaten be Just charge It up to X, Y, Z. Some housewives polish the front windows and let the back windows take care of them selves. Chance games at church fairs are apt to lead the young folk to take a whirl in the gram pit or the Oil Exchange. The old schoolhouso on tho hill, I can see its gray walls still See the children romping round the open door. Though long years have passed away since I joined them in the play, I shall cherish this sweet vision evermore. It was there I learned to write, to cipher and recite. First beard the moon was not a mammoth cheese. It was tbere I soon found out what the Russians mean by "knout" When I the whiskered teacher failed to please. It was there I played a game which set my heart aflame. While still a little youngster In short clothes; In it kissing went by favor, and, though a little shaver, I learned that thorns were hid in every rose. But I was not baoly hurt, and the saucy little flirt Who taught me love would wound but seldom kill, . Now sends a black-eyed boy, its mother's nope and joy. To tbe little old gray schoolhouse on the hill 1 The practical politicians evidently believe in unlimited reciprocity. The mule is the only thing tbat kicks in stead of laughs when you tickle it The man who purchases place and power has a perfect rignt to Ignore the wishes of the people, and he usually does. Vice, like the poor, is ever with us. Gilding will not lessen it of course, but it strips it ot some of its hldeousness. The small boy sat on a log of wood, And threw chips at the mule; There's one youth less in the neighborhood, A vacant seat in school. If the preachers were as earnest as the poli ticians, religion would be more entertaining; It is about as safe to bet on tbe weather as the election. It's safer not to bet at all, how ever. The census now figures as an offensive par tisan, Tbe figures are all right, but the coun ters seem to have gone wrong. The politicians out in Wisconsin are having a Peck of trouble. If you have fully made up jour mind bow you will vote what's the use of attending poli tical meetings? It is to bo hoped that the new tariff will not raise the theater hat Elmira Advertiser. Not at all. It should read Pittsburg Dispatch. Watch yonr credits, brothers. When tbe russet loaves are flying, Branches bare on brown grass lying. And the autumn winds are sighing Telling us a year Is dying Birdie files away. Tuneless are the groves and hedges, No low twitt'ring in tbe sedges; But there's chirping in tbe ledges, Chatterings on chimney edges For tbe sparrows stay. Grovkr Cleveland is still a lively corpse, and weighs in the neighborhood of SCO pounds. The man wbo induces a confiding country girl to leave a good home, and afterward starts her on the downward path, may be forgiven In this world, but tbe cbances are he will notbs in the next Will a legal opinion save Delamater? Per haps yes, perhaps no. Time alone will telL Barclay can bark and bite, too. The window glass combine should be handled with care. WHO owns the streets? The rapid transit managers, the railroads, the green grocers and shopkeepers, the police, the ambulance wagons, tbe patrol, or the people? The Bellefonte postmaster who refused a newspaper mail because the edition contained an attack on the party be serves, should be speedily bounced for pernicious activity. When an official becomes too officious the people should act if the superiors don't And now Stanley is accused of boodling. A man should carefully preserve his receipts these days. Englishmen don't like America because it bas no ruins. Just wait until after the fall elec tions. A burning shame an effigy afire. Pittsburg has a jail full of murderers. This reflects great credit on our lawyers, if not on our juries. Both buyer and seller get bargains wben business is conducted on a cash! basis. Oh. she was false as she wasyfalr, I found out wben I got herd For then I learned she bought her hair And soaked her teeth In water. Thieves and liars are born, not made. If bad men are elected to office tbe goody goody citizen should not squirm. Tbe "bosses" will choose their tools just so long as the peo ple will let them. If a rich Christian dies, the heirs fight for his wealth, not bis faith. Some of those on the stump now will be up a tree next month. , Census Superintendent Porter skip ped across the sea after he skipped so many people. A BLIND man can draw a sight draft A ship is always for sail. Willie Winkle. OUR MAIL POUCH, Better Streets for Allegheny. To the Editor or tbe Dispatch: Tbere seems to be a desire on the part of a good many Northsiders tbat Allegheny should have better streets. Although. I believe, there has vet been no definite action taken to secure better thoroughfares on tbe part of Councils, It strikes me tbat it is high tlmo something was done In that direction. Comparing the prog ress Allegheny has made within the past ten years with tbat of Pittsbure, or, for tbat mat. ter, any otber city of equal importance, the fact forces itself upon the mind that Allegheny is not up to tbo times. A reason for her slow ness bas been given tbat it is on account of her close proximity to Pittsburg. This may be true enough from a business standpoint, bnt In my opinion it is no reason why municipal matters should lag behind. Al legheny's finances are in good condition; much better than in the case with most cities of the same size. Her taxes aro not as high as those of Pittsbnrg. This is tbo main reason those living in Allezheny give in opposing annexa tion. But low taxes is about all Allegheny bas to boast of. Had she spent money on badly needed street improvements and in other ways, as Pittsburg and otber cities have done, she would have something better to boast of than low taxes. Now.I am not particularly in favor of annexation; yet, if by uniting tbe two cities in one e would secure better thoroughfares, I would not only vote for, but heartily support tbe proposition. But we can secure these im provements without uniting the cities, and in a much less expensive manner. I say expensive as meaning tbat besides having to bear our share of tho expense of repairing the streets, should annexation bring about such a result we would have also our share of Pittsburg's taxes to bear. Tbe progress of civilization everywhere is marked by good roads, and tbe fact is it is largely due to good roads that such advance ment Is made. It may be safely said that tbe condition of tbe streets of any city indicates tbe character and standing of her citizens. Allegheny is naturally a beautiful city. It is much better located than .Pittsburg and has more chance of spreading. Her suburbs can be made just as beautiful; but we must offer some encouragement by way of good thorough fares to our city limits before we may hope tbatonr suburbs will be populated as they should be. Tbe work of street improvement need not all be done at once. I would urge, bowever, that a beginning be made in tbat di rection, and that hereafter when anew street is to be paved or an old one repaired, tbat a smooth, substantial pavement be laid instead of tbe antiquated cobblo stone. Since Federal street, for example, is soon to bo regraded and repaired, let a beginning be made there. It is Allegheny's principal business street and at tbe same time tbe worst paved street in the city. Then the work of Improvement should extend to every thoroughfare in the city. Property Owner. Allegheny. October 21. 1890. A Natural Gas Kicker. To the Editor of Tbe Dispatch. Referring to the item In your paper of 22d instant, in regard to a scarcity of natural gas in some sections of Allegheny on Tuesday morn ing last, said to be due to local causes: You certainly do not live in Allegheny, or you would be aware of tbe fact tbat we are experiencing the same state of affairs tbat existed all through the winter of 18S9-'90. For tbe past three weeks hnndreds of families have not bad enough gas to cook breakfast Wood is exten sively used throughout the day to help ont in all parts of Allegheny. Meanwhile tbe rattle of coal through the chntes to the cellars can be beard in all directions, and the cloud of smoke is thickening over the city. Tbe Secretary of tbe Allegaeny Heating Company may not be aware that anyone bas been inconvenienced, but you will find others (if they will talk) In the West Diamond office who are fully aware ot tbo fact that gas is abort, and also tbat fam ilies by the score are ordering tbe supoly (?) shut off. The Alleeheny people are filling their cellars with coat If you don't believe it ask th e local coal dealers how their business com pares with tbe same period ot last year. October 23, 1800. Lower Allegheny. Information for a Voter. To tbe Editor of The Dispatch: Please inform me through "Our Mail Pouch" whether a person can vote under the following circumstances: Coming from one county to another in Pennsylvania, July 1. and not being registered in the county you now reside in. having paid all taxes, eta, wbero you came from, and being a regnlar voter tbere? By doing so you will oblige an American born citizen. A Subscriber. The following are tbe sections of tbe Consti tution bearing npon tbe question: "He shall resldo In the election district where he shall offer to vote tor at least two months preceding election. If 22 years of age or npward he shall have paid within two years a State or county tax, which shall have been assessed at least two months, and paid at least one month before election." Tbere is nothing in this to prevent you voting from your present residence. You do not have to be registered to vote. The 'Wrath of a Veteran. To the Editor of The Dispatch: On last Saturday afternoon the "Homestead Athletic Club" gave the citizens of Homestead an entertainment consisting of games and athletic sports. The subscriber entered for several of the prizes, principal among the num ber being a gold-beaded cane. It was for veteran soldiers of tbe 1 ate war. and I was tbe fortunate winner. Since tbat time some per sons bave been circulating a report tbat I was not a veteran and bad never been in tbe army at all. I simply wish you to give me space enough to brand all Such reports as infamous. I am almost certain tbat I participated in as many, if not more, engagements tban any other veteran in our town. I bave three honorable discharge', which are on exhibition at Mr. Schmitt's, which speak for themselves. Joseph Bennett. Homestead, October 23, 1S90. The Hyphen in Proper Names. To the Editor of the Dispatch: Will yoa be kind enough to explain the nse of the hyphen in proper names, such as Clar ence Brown-Smith? Is tbe party's full name Clarence Brown Smith, and be writes it Brown Smith simply to be "English, don't you know?" No doubt tbere are others wbo would like to be enlightened upon this point. PITTSBURG, October 2a IN THE Dare, Tbe use 6f the hyphen is a matter of indi vidual taste, and It is fashionable in England. Tbe two words joined by tbe hyphen make the surname. Who Bemembers This Case? To tbe Editor of The Dispatch: In an argument a friend of mine tells me tbat one of tbe prisoners, Murray or Myers (who were convicted to be banged for tbe murder of a man named Wahl, which occurred out the Perrysville road about 15 years ago),was offered a commutation ot sentence tolmpnsonment for life, but refused to accept a change, while Isay the Gorernor did not interfere at all. Will you please inform me through your Mail Pouch who is correct? 8. T. S. Washington, Pa., October 22, 1890. Demand for a Gretna Green. To the Editor of the Dispatch: What is tbe nearest place to go from the city of Pittsburg to get married witbout taking out a license? CONSTANT Beader. Pittsburg, October 2L Practically all of tbe neighboring States now demand a license of some sort It is stated, however, that very little trouble will be found in securing tbe necessary permission in Ken tucky. Might Call It "The Carmenclta." To the Editor of the Dispatch: Please inform me tbroneh tbe columns of your paper what would be an appropriate name for a dancing club of about ten ybung men, and oblige. A Constant Reader. Pittsburg, uctoberH. CONGRESSMAN DALZELL has written a letter for THE DISPATCH on the requisites for success at the bar. It is a paper of great value to everybody and young lawyers In particular. See to-morrows Big Issue. Twenty pages, largest circulation. THE TOPICAL TALKER. Millions in OIL ..JNthe last year," said a prominent oil pro ducer yesterday, "an immense amount of capital has been sunk in the ground in this county. In the search for oil and cas In Alle gheny county dnrlnc tbe last twelvemonths, I believe fully two million dollars bave been Invested and the percentage of total loss has been high. In tbe Cbartiers field, for in stance, from tho house where I took my lunch to-day I could see at least 100 rigs. Take that 100 as costing about $1,000 apiece to drill, and you find an investment of $400,000 right in that little spot, a few acres in extent I find that Plttsburgers hardly realize as a rule the im portance of the oil production at their very doors, and wben tbey examine the facts they are invariably astonished." "Do you think much money is beingmade out of tbe wells in Allegheny county?" "Yes, considerable, of course, but there are very few men who are getting rich from it Drilling for oil is a very expensive speculation. I know of a quartet of capitalists who saw $200,000 disappear l'n dry holes before tbey got a cent, but tbey stayed with tbe game till tbelr luck changed, and have since come out winners. But men with small capital had better steer clear of the business." Amiable Cranks. gOMEof the cranks I meet," said the vet eran conductor, "are amiable. You don't hear so much about tbe good-natured people with odd ways as you do about the crusty old bears and nuisances. Tbere's an ex-member of Congress who travels on my train about twice a month comes to Pittsburg who al ways says tbe samo thing to me when I take his ticket for he doesn't ride on a pass. 'George,' he says, "you're looking well do you still smoker and then ho gires me a cigar tbat takes an hour and a'half to smoke, and Is so good I wish it'd last all day. He's been giving me a cigar as regular as clockwork twice a month, more or less, for six years and more. Most of tbe boys call him a crank, but it's crankiness of a mighty good sort "When I was on anotber division there used to be a woman wbo traveled frequently and Insisted invariably on paying her fare on the train. There was a ticket agent at the station at which she got on, but tor some reason or other she would never buy a ticket I bave known several regular travelers who bad the same fancy, but I think most of tbem calculated to beat the conductor. The woman I refer to had no such intentions, but strange though it may seem, always tried to make me take more than tbe proper fare. She was so persistent in this cndcavortbatl made up my mind for quite a while tbat she was a spotter. But I learned enough about her finally to convince me that I was wrong in my suspicion of her. She was simply an amiable crank." The Political Betting. AS the election draws near tbere is the usual talk about wholesale betting on tbe result According to several good authorities who were consulted yesterday there 13 rather less meat in the talk than usual. One of the lead ing Democrats of this city said yesterday: "There Is some betting being done and to my personal knowledge two bets of $500 each even were made on Wednesday last The Democratic end of both bets belongs to a Bandall Club man. But there is not a great deal of wagering going on in anything like large figures. Posi tive as I am of Mr. Paulson's success, I am ready to admit that the finish promises to be too close to mako betting an amusement. Tbe bets of hats and $3 bills are plentiful enough I bave a half-dozen hats in view myself and most of the other bets you hear about are made of wind." On the other side a gentleman of sporting proclivities who votes 'the Republican ticket always, said to me yesterday: 'There is plenty of money to be had for tbe Delamater end of the betting, but not very many takers for large amounts, it is probably true tbat fewer bets on the big order, hundreds or thousands, are being made in this town tban usual, even in an off year election. But there will be a boom in the betting next week, sure. Wny? Oh, we ex pect the usual tip from Quay. He always lets his friends into a good thing wben he knows it's sure to co me off. The tip usually comes lu the last week, and we're expecting it daily." It Is said that the professional sports, and the few gamblers left in Pittsburg, are almost to a man, putting tbelr money on Pattlson. THE CABHEGIE COURSE Inaugurated by the Philharmonic Sextet, of New York. The Carnegie course of entertainments was Inaugurated last evening in Carnegie Hall, tbe New York Philharmonic Club being the attrac tion. The audience tbat greeted this well known and justly popular club was rather small, but was composed or tbe musically in clined people of the two cities, including many of the local stars, wbo did not apparently allow a single strain of any of the different numbers rendered to escape tbem. Their appreciation of the delicate handling of the stringed Instru ments by tbe famed sextet was manifested in a telling and convincing fashion. The next attraction offered by this course Is Mr. Ovide Musin and company for Novem ber 28. Another Batch of Fine Pictures. The market for good pictures evidently con tinues in Pittsburg. Tbe latest and one of the most interesting collections to reach it is from Haseltine, of Philadelphia. This was yester day opened at Gillespie's gallery on Wood street Many of tbe pictures are noticeable, particularly a handsome landscape byMun kacsy; a flock of sheep by Rosa Bonheur, which is very bright and pleasing: a picture by De Neuville and one by Detaille. both of tbe latter being military subjects. There are also a couple of attractive studies by George H. Bronghfnn in bis usual dignified and refined style. Beside", representations of Jerome, Henner. Bico, Jacque. MeisonIer and Millet No donbt these, like all the other attractive collection which bare been exhibited here, will help to enrich some of the private collec tions ot Plttsburgers. tban whom none are more liberal in patronizing good art New Books in the "Library. The following new books bave been received at tbe Pittsburg Library: "Autobiography of Anton Rnbenstein," "Brushes and Chisels." Ijeodoro 8erra-; "The Blind Mnstclan," V. Korolenko; "Tbe Children or the World." Paul Heyse; "The Anglnmaniacs," "Come Forth," E. S. Phelps and H. Ward; "Modern Ghosts." tales from the French; "A Little Book of Profitable Tales," Eugene Field; "Blind Fate," Mrs. Alexander; "Ascatney Street" Mrs. A. D. T. Whitney; "Ardis Clover den," Frank btockton; "A Reverend Gentle man," J. McC, Cobban. DEATHS OF A DAY. Arthur Little. Arthur Little, one of tbe oldest veterans of the late war and a former Flttsbarger, died yester day, and will be burled from tbe residence of his son-in-law, Mr. John G. Stewart, No. Sll Fifth avenue. Mr. Little was a member of tbe West Virginia Volunteers, Company F, Second Eeg lment and served throughout tna war. He waa wounded In the lower limbs, and after coming home to Pittsburg resided here until about 1ST, when be took up a residence In tbe Soldiers' Home at Dayton, O. His wound trouDled him consider ably and some time a(to It broke ont afresh. He was 73 years of acre, and, owlnjr to his decrepit condition, he conld not survive the pain and ex pired yesterday morning. Hon. James It Stanbery. rSPICIAI, TXI.IOEAM TO THI BtSyATCB.1 Newark, O.. October 24. Hon. James R. Stan bery. the foremost lawyer ofthe Lleklng county bar, died at bis home in this city this afternoon alter several months' Illness. He was an uncle of an ex-Attorney General or the United States, and in former years a politician or Influence. The Im mediate cause of his death was dropsy. 3Ir. tan nery was aged 80 years. He waa born in New York, but Gas been a resident of tnls county since early childhood. He served as Presldental elector In l&l and postmaster from 1867 to 1869 and a mem ber of the Ohio Senate In 1863. A. H. Harris. MrsNXArOLiS, October I. A. H. Harris, a prominent Montana mine owner, died very sud denly at thb West Hotel last night. He had ordered his snpper bent to his room and soon after was round dead In bis chair. It la thought that heart disease was the cause of his death. John Riley, Sr. John Klley, Sr.. an old resident of tbe North side, having aettled la Allegheny when It was little more than a wilderness, died yesterday at tbe residence of his sou, No. 40 Central street He was 72 years of age and one of tbe bast-known citizens on that side of the river. TV'Hllam H. Hald. William Henderson Hald, a popular young musician of Allegheny, died yesterday at the age of a years. He was a son or L. E. Hald. The funeral will take place Sunday afternoon at 1:30 o'clock from the Hooewood Avenue it E, Church. CURIOUS CONDENSATIONS. The new baby hippopotamus in Central Park, New York, has a mouth 17 Inches wide. Business men are complaining of tbe scarcity of paper money of small denomina tions. Leather is being successfully tanned in Florida with palmetto roots; is made as soft and pliable as finest calfskin. Austin Corbin's game preserve of 60,000 acres in Northern New Hampshire is soon to be stocked with Canadian wild animals. To the English aristocracy we owe the international novel and the lawn; they also pro dnced the bTick garden wall, a thing of doubt ful value. On his first voyage Columbus sailed 3,171 miles in 33 day, or 06 miles a day. On his second voyage he sailed about 2,500 In 31 days, or 120 miles a day. On his fourth voyage ho sailed 2,700 miles in 21 days, or nearly ISO mile a day. In Boston last year there was a char itable soup house opened from February IS to April 6, during which time 752J meals per dy were f umisned. or 37.63. to 7.407 destitute fam ilies, at a total cost of but $1,300 50, or an aver age cost per meal of .C3 0-20 cents. A remarkable cjse of longevity was celebrated about a month ago in the town of Bergerac. in the Department of theDordogne, France. Tbe 111th birthday ot Mme. Coudere was tbe occasion ot tbe entire town appearing in gala attire, and tbe suspension of all bust ness. Amoretti says: "The Island of Ferro, one of tbe Canaries, through which passed the first meridian of Ptolemy, was the point through which the line marked out by Pope Alexander VL passed."After the discovery of Brazil by Vincent Finzon tbe line was removed 30" to the Westward. New York City pays its District Attor ney $1,600 a year more tban is received by the Chief Justice of tbe United States, and $2,000 a year more tban is received by eitber of tbe As sociate Judges. The Supreme Court Judges bave entailed upon them, by tbe necessities of their position, social obligations which absorb at least half of their salaries in the way ot offi cial hospitality. A discovery has been made of a unique description within the walls of ancient Rome, and tbat is of a house which belonged to Christians of the fourth century, as perfect as any of those tbat have been exhumed at Pompeii and Hcrcnlaneum. Many heathen mansions have been disinterred; but this Is the onlv house that has been found that unmis takably belonged to Christians. When Boston was a small hamlet soma of tbe more adventurous settlers wandered away off into the wilderness, as much as 10 or 12 miles from the coast: and. hiving concluded to settle, petitioned the Colonial Fatbers to build a road out to tbem. Tbe wise councilors considered the matter and rejected tbe request on tbe ground of the supposed improbability of civilization ever extending so far west During storms, electrical lights are sometimes seen at the mastheads and yard arms of vessels at sea. Tbe old mariners hailed them with joy, as a token that tbe gale had broken. Pliny speaks of them under tbe name of Castor and Pollux; Columbus. Magel lan and others called tbem "tbe lights of St Elmo." The old Italian sailors called tbem corpus santo, from which the English sailors and our own get corposant! Upon the point that in professional call ings the means of support are necessary ere success comes, it is said that there is a college man ot considerable ability who. while an in terne atBcllevue. was justly considered one of tbe best men ever there; yet after six months' practice in New York, his income was just $6. To-day he Is an assistant in a leading medical college, a young man of great ability, yet his income does not pay expenses. As a typical instance of destitution ia Boston a case is cited ol a young man working in a manufacturing shop at a long distance from his room. For 60 tours a week he re ceived $7 35. The work was hard, wearing; un ceasinz. Night found him tired to the marrow; morning met him half rested. He had a young wife to care for. The expenses for both were, each week: Room, $2 0; food, $3 97; car fare, 60c; total. $7 07: margin, for clothes, amuse ments, sickness and riotous living. 28 cents. The Canary Islands were probably known to the Pncemcians. The Romans, in the time of Augustus, received intelligence oj tbe Canary Islands from Jnba.King of Mauri tania (B. C. 28 to A. D. 3D), whose account has been transmitted to us by tbe elder Pliny. Pliny mentions Canaria (so called from tbe number of dogs found on the islands), and tbe Nlvania (snow), doubtless the Peak of Tene rifTe. Both Plutarch and Ptolemy speak of tba "Fortunate Islands." When Washington Irving was writing; tbe "History of Columbus" he engaged Cap tain Alexander Slidell Mackenzie, of the United States Navy, to investigate the question of the first land sighted by Columbus. After an exhaustive analysis which Humboldt con sidered the best ever written tbe Captain came to the conclusion tbat the first land sighted by Columbus was tbe island in tbe Bahama group now called Cat Island. It was called by tbe natives Guanabani, and by Colum bus San Salvador. California contains 156,000 square miles, and if she had 1,000 more square miles, three States like New York and three more like Con necticut could be laid on her surface. One third of her area, to speak within bounds, is adapted to grape culture, which gives ber vine yard possibilities a3 great as France would bave if she were all vlnevard. The wine production of France is L400,000,000 gallons; while Cali fornia bas only attained a result of 22,000,000 gallons: that is, with an immensely greater area adapted to grape culture, she yields only one-sixty-tbird as much wine as France. This indi cates her coming possibilities. A conservative estimate of the recorded building association mortgages in Pennsylvania wonld be $90,000,000. Ot this amount fully $27,. 000 oOO has been saved toward their fnll and final ownership, or, in otber words, that all building society mortgages now on record could be satisfied by tbe payment of 70 per cent of their face value. It is calculated that 81,600 persons were, before tbey became members of the asso ciations, paying $12 a month for rented houses, or $11,710,400 peryear. while, under this system, at the end of 142 months tbey become the own ers of $90,000,000 worth of real estate tbat they have accumulated month by month. HAPPY THOUGHTS. A woman has been known to bend a man's will daring life and break it after his death. Binghamton Leader. He Would you like to hear me sing "In tbeSweet By-and-br, " iliss Mattle? bhe (sweetly) Yes, Henry, but not beiors. JIusical Courier. Bright Pupil Why am I like wheat? Teachei 1 don't know. B. P. Because I'm full ol chaff 1 Ha, ha. hat 'ieacher And I think you need thrashing, tool Boston Traveller. "I never was as sleepy in my life as I was last night but I had to stay awake on my feet till morning. But I bad one grim satisfaction, at least: I wasn't alone." "Who was the other victim or victims?" "The baby ; he didn't sleep a wlnu, either." Philadelphia Times. Laugh and tbe world laughs with you, Weep, and you weep alone; Tail, and tbe world laughs at you; Don't and It's all yonr own. Washington Star. THE JOKE EDITOR'S yBTZNBS. If there were no such tbiug as a mother-in law. Oh! wbat would the fanny men do ? If we never had met the bad boy and his pa, Ob! wbat would tbe funny men do? If tbere were no soft couples to sit in the gloom, Or mean little brothers woo bide In tbe room. Or towns that are struek by a back-aetlnx boom, Oh! what woald the funny man do? If It weren't for the tramps who from labor re frain, Ob! what would tbe funny men do? If we hadn't discovered the dude and his cane, Ob ! wbat would the funny men do ? If It weren't ror the bright little urchin at school. And tne men wbo dare toy with the buzzsaw sad mule. The honest old farmer and patent right foot Oh! what would the funny men do? if It weren't for rest-seekers wbo rush out of town. Oh! what would tbe funny men do? And come back dlsgasted and blistered and brown. Oh! what would tbe funny men do? If the young man and woman who play until dawn And pound tbe piano bad never been born: If It weren't for that poor little toe and Its corn. Oh I what would the funny men do? IX women had never been frightened bv mice, Oh! what would tbe funny men do? If Ice dealers charged a respectable price. Oh! what would the funnymen do? If there never had been a bootjack or eat Ora grasping landlord and a back-numbered flat If we never had heard of "his grandfather hat" Oh I what would the funny men do? Sport Xomtut. I i it?,,. jte;3&
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers