srr' wmawm9m nr5 iT-jr-; rffrr - THE PITTSBURG DISPATCH, "WEDNESDT,- ' OCTOBER, ;189a i Hie Bigpafcg. ESTABLISHED FEBRUARY 1S48. Vol.-4 !)!:.-Entcrw? at Pittsburg Vnstoffice. No cinbcr 1 X, Ins", a second-class matter. Business Office Corner Smlthfleld and Diamond Streets. Kev7s EocmB and Publishing House 75, 77 and 79 Diamond Street. EASTERN ADVERTISING OFFICE. ROOMS, TIIIUUM. 1SUILU1NG. NEW YOKrk. where crrlcte flies ot THE DIM'AICII can always be lound. Foreign aavertiscrs appreciate the con venience. Home adTerti&ers and friends of THE lllM'ATCH. while in cw York, are also made welcome. THE DISPATCH U regularly on sale a Srcntano's. S Union Square, Sew York, and 17 Ave. de VOpera, Parts. France, where any one uho has been disappotnled at a hotel news stand can obtain it. TERMS Or THE DISPATCH. tjSTAGE FREE IS TUB CXITED 6TATKS. J)AtLT Dispatch, One Year. $ 5 00 1JA1LT UitrATcn, I'erQuarter 100 Daily Dispatch, One .Month TO Daily DiEFATcn. Including Sunday. I year. 1000 Daily Iisr itch, IncludmgSundsy.Im'ths. ISO Daily Disi-atcu, lncludlngSunday.linontu 90 1-csDAY Dispatch, One Year ISO T eekly Dispatch, One Year IS The Daily Dispatch Js delivered by carriers at :f cents Ecr week, or Including Sunday edition, ettc cents per ireelc. PITTSBURG. WEDNESDAY. OCr. 8. 1S90. PARK. ENTRANCE AND LIBRARY SITE. The reconsideration by Common Council of its indefinite postponement of the park entrance measure, and its passage by a con siderable majority, warrants, as stated yes terday, the expectation that Mrs. Schenley's oflcr will be accepted by similar action of the Select branch. This is undoubtedly the correct disposition of the measure. The arguments which were advanced at Mon - day's meeting against the purchase, would be of much force if they were pertinent. "With regard to street improvements, the ex penditure of $75,000 for the park entrance, can have no bearing at all, citner lor or against the improvement of streets; and the fact is that the impassable condition of many streets to-day, is because they have been caught in a rainy season before the improve ments going on have been finished. As to the cost which the acquisition of the nineteen acres is supposed to entail upon the city, it should be recognized that it will necessitate no expenditures that would not have been required anvhow and will, on the contrary, save some of them. It is plain that an entrance of some sort would have been necessary from the Oakland side of the park. It would be an absurdity to suppose that Pittsburg would accept a gift of a 300 acre park and then make 200,000 ot its 240, 000 citizens go around to the rea'side of the park to get into it. The bridge aud the ex pense of the roadways will be just the same with the purchase as without it; but with the land purchased, the cost of condemning the ground through which the entrance runs will be saved. By whatever sum the $75,000 cost of the nineteen acres may exceed the cost of condemning a mere entrance lor the park, it will be a bagatelle beside the ad vantage of gaining nineteen acres of addi tional park ground with a irontags ol 1,200 feet on Forbes street. One of the objections to the acquisition of this tract urged in Common Council is based on the idea that, ii the tract is ac cepted, it locates the Carnegie Library there. The fact is that while the tendency may strongly point to that site for the library, no authoritative action has yet been taken. Gentlemen prominent on the Executive Committee may hav? committed themselves to the effect that this is a site that they would recommend to the commission; but no one can have said - the site is decided, because no one ha the. authority to do so. Perhaps the most significant indicatio on this point is the open secret that Mr. Car negie himself is in favor of the site; but whether that is not equally significant as to its merits, is a matter which the public can take into consideration. There is much force in the arguments of gentlemen who maintain that a central library should be located near the point where lines of transit center: as there is also cogency in the argu ments of those who point to the trend of population to the eastward and the diffi culty of obtaining eligible sites in the down town district. It is a rather peculiar phase ofthc question that the Councilmen who opposed this purchase on account of the library question arc members of the Library Commission. Whether their opposition to the purchase in Councils indicates their ap prehension that the prk location will be supported by a majority of the commission, cr is only a manifestation of their determina tion to oppose that site wherever they can brinz their opposition to bear, it is an in teresting aspect ct the antagonism aroused by that important question. The most obvious commentary on the whole matter is that the park entrance ques tion should be settled on its merits, as it seems to have ocen done in Common Coun cil on Monday; and that the library site should be settled on its merits when it comes before the commission. That deter mination will lead to the purchase ot the jrround simply on its value for the park. AVe should not be surprised if a similar treatment of the library question should re salt in locaticgli. museum, art gallery and a large branch library at the park entrance, with an adequate building down town to be used as the central library until the growth of population and improvement of transit shall require the transfer of the central library to the park, and the conversion of the down town institution into a leading branch. AX UNNECESSARY COMBINATION. An organization of the cirls of Bethle hem, Pa., recently attracting some atten tion, has in it an illustration of the prevail ing tendency of the time. Bethlehem is the teat of an institution of learning. It seems that the disposition of the collegiate youth to sport with the affections of the resident fair and then go away leaving the town pop ulated with colleee widows, has inspired the girls to defensive measures. The sprttae injuria formae in Bethlehem has crystallized in the shape of an anti-students' club, of which the maiden members agree to dis countenance the attentions ot the students and to absolutely place them under a boy cott. No exception is made as to students who put themselves under bonds as to the integrity of their intentions, but we may presume that mental reservations of the fe male mind will be found to cover such cases for each member. Accepting for the moment the view that the fleeting attentions of the Bethlehem undergraduates place an undue strain on the heart strings of the young women, and are therefore wholly undesirable, the organ ization presents a novel illustration of the prevalent idea that it is necessary for people to combine to do what each can do indi vidually Given the damaging nature of the collegiate social relations and the young woman who independently eschews those deleterious, but alluring attentions, will be so much the better off. The premise of the Bethlehem maidens makes their organlza- tion not only logically unnecessary which is matter ol slight moment to the feminine mind, even of college towns but points to another conclusion even more destructive of their position. That is their innate consciousness that the gentle though evanescent flirtations of the college youth have so much of compensa tion in them, that none ot the young ladies will foreswear them except as they are bound together by mutual and solid obliga tions. Tneir position is exactly parallel to the remarkable combination recently pro posed for the river coal interests, to combine for the purpose of selling coal at a loss. If it was for the advadtage of the coal men to lose their money they could do so indi vidually; and if it were for the advantage of the Bethlehem girls to turn their backs on the college students, no club ought to be re quired. The fact that the combination is needed marks the undesirability of the proj ect, and foretells the failure of the at tempt. It is not hazardous to prophesy that the compact of the Bethlehem maidens to harden their tender hearts against the students will be short lived. They, will each perceive the necessity ot indulgence, in favor of some special swain, and when that favored young man strikes out into the world leav ing them behind, they will, until some eligible successor establishes his title to the position, comfort themselves with the su perior philosophy of the sentiment that it is better to have loved and lost several times over than never to have loved at all. THE GUESTS OF PITTSBURG. The visit of the members of the British Iron and Steel Institute, who arrive in Pittsburg to-day, surpasses in especial in terest to our iron and steel men any ever paid to this city. No party of that size and standing in the iron trade has before been entertained in this city, nor have any gnests given an examination to our manufacturing establishments whose collective opinion on the efficiency and economy of our methods was of equal value. Possibly the visit of the Pan-American Congress might be hoped to have more direct results in the direction of enlarging our markets. But our South American guests were not supposed to be able to give scientific judgment on our man ufacturing establishments. They were only expected to view our industries with inex pert admiration of their size and products. The present visit is that of recognized au thorities in our own line. Pittsburg is not now making a show of her industries; but as the iron and steel center of America is undergoing the examination of scientific judges in her friendly rivals of the elder world. Even as regards the commercial aspect of extending the markets for our products, it is doubtful whether the results of the Pan- American visit were more important than the ultimate results of this one. If, as Pittsburg will naturally hope, the visitors find in our mills and furnaces evidences that we are abreast with them in the adop tion of improved processes and in the standard of our prodncts, such an authori tative opinion will give Pittsburg iron and steel more standing, in the markets of the world, than a dozen inspections by persons whose knowledge of the industry only en ables them to admire. Even if our present visitors should find subjects for criticism in the mills, such criticism may be made of more value to Pittsburg than any amount of uninstructed wonder. Elsewhere in this issue will be found a review of the ground which will be gone over, and the works to be inspected, in order to give our Britannic and German cousins and rivals a fair idea of Pitts burg's industrial interests. Of course it is the hope that their tour among our mills and furnaces will show them that we have ' here industries whose present progress, and whose promise of further growth, make worthy rivals of their own concerns. Mere magnitude cannot impress the leading manu facturers of still greater industrial cities; and therefore, if they find anything to ap prove, it will be that sort of approval which is praise indeed. It is hardly necessary to say that the wel come which Pittsburg, as a community, will extend to its guests, is the warmest that hospitality can offer. No visitors can be re ceived here from abroad who would more completely call out all the hospitable senti ments of our city. The kinship of race, and the ties which have grown ont of ri valry, not onlyin the iron and steel markets, but in the emulation, new methods and im proved results, give especial interest to the entertainment of the iron masters of Great Britain by the Iron City of the Western world. Every Pittsburger will join in the expression of welcome to Pittsburg's guests and of hope that they will carry away with them, not only an approving judgment of our industries, but pleasant memories of our people. JUDGING BY THE FRUITS. The proof of the pudding is in the eating. This part of the country has always been solid on the tariff. If only a few out of the many rumored new tin plate mills that are spoken of tor Pittsburg actually materialize, everybody hereabout will like the tariff all the better. Fine-spun theories and the barren idealities of book writers and magazinist doctrinaires do not count against smoke stacks and the whirr of busy wheels, and several thousand more well-paid mechanics added to our population. Figs of this sort are not usually gathered from thorns. CHICAGOANS TALKING CANAL. Chicago, whose enterprise is of the sort which habitually looks out for to-morrow and even lor next week, is reported to have in contemplation a canal across the State of Illinois to the Mississippi. This sounds like a huge undertaking, even as a mere prospectus. But Chicago has had such im mense benefits from water transportation, and is so quick to act where action is profit able, that people are indisposed to discount any scheme discussed in that quarter. Meanwhile what is Pittsburg going to do about the Lake Erie Canal? The water traffic opportunities here are relatively as big as in Chicago, bigger, in fact, because so little has yet been done to take advantage of them on a large scale. Pittsbure could bring the trade of the lakes to unite with that of the Ohio and the Mississippi at its doors, and profitably bear the cost itself, rather than leave the work undone. Assuming that the outlay on the Lake Erie Canal would be non-productive from the point of revenne above expense of oper ation, the advantages still given fpr busi ness here and the enormous increase in value of real estate throughout this section of the country would far more than cover interest on the outlay. Less than two per cent of real estate valuation of the cities and surrounding towns would build the canal. Cut, of course, the canal would not be non-productive. The returns Irom traffic at a very moderate scale of charges, it has been estimated, would itself pay handsomely on the work. Besides, Uncle Sam and the State Legislature will lend a helping hand whenever our people are earnest enough to ask for it as if they'want it. LOOKING AFTER THE DRUGGISTS. The State Board of Pharmacy, which is at present in session in Pittsburg, has done no little good already in the State by driv ing incompetent and unqualified dealers in drugs from the business. The public is deeply interested in the proper qualification of the men who practice as pharmacists and we are glad "to hear that the State Board in tends to prosecute those who have not ful filled the conditions required by law. Fatal mistakes in prescription compounding have been rare in Pittsburg of late, and it is fair to 'attribute this to the watchful eye of the State Board of Pharmacy. THE THUNDERER EQUIVOCATES. The London Times reiterates the charge that the Irish Famine Fund in this country is a cloak for scheming politicians. The Tory organ seeks to prove this by tell ing the world that Mr. Cleveland and Mr. Depew are candidates for the Presidency, that Mr. .Rutherford B. Hayes yearns to re-enter politics, that New York's only Colonel Shepard is Mr. Depew's newspaper organist, and that several other promoters of the fund are very, very wicked politicians. Some of these state ments are true, some are relreshingly new, and fiction and fact alike fail to bear out the Times' charge that the appeal on behalf of Ireland is simply a bid for the Irish vote in the United States. The Times evidently thinks it best to be silent about the object of the appeal; it does not allude to the actual peril of famine in Ireland. EASILY CORRECTED. Some criticisms are being published on the act ot the administration in extending a formal reception on the part of the Govern ment to the Comte de Paris. That step was a blnndcr, judged by the strict rules ol in ternational politics; but the intention was so plain and can be so easily explained that there is no reason to apprehend that it will be a serious one. Of course every one jknows that the idea of the welcome was simply to extend a welcome to a distinguished Frenchman who had added to his family distinction by ser vices as an officer of the United States, and by his ability as a historian. Unfortunately, however, the official welcome of a govern ment is naturally extended to a personage holding official position abroad; and the only respect in which the Comte de Paris can be deemed to hold official position is as a claimant to the throne of France. Everyone in this country knows that the United States has no sympathy with the effort to restore the Bourbon monarchy. But the most prominent feature of the Comte de Paris' European career, at present, is the recent discreditable attempt to subvert the French Republic in his in terest. A personal welcome to the Comte as a private individual, would have been beyond criticism. An official welcome such as is given to official representatives of foreign nations visiting our country, sub jects the nation to a most decided miscon struction. If there is 3ny misunderstanding, it can be easily removed by informing the French Government, that the United States in welcoming the Comte did not recognize his claim on the throne of France; but simply offered national honors to a foreigner who had been a soldier and historian of the United States. That would be no more than the truth; and the Comte de Paris him self could not object to frankly informing the French Government of it. The United States will never interfere in French politics, and least of all, in favor of an attempt to overthrow the French Republic. SECRECY OF THE BAIXOT. Chairman Kerr, of the Democratic State Committee, has asked Chairman Andrews, of the Eepublican Committee, to respond with him to the general demand for secrecy of the ballot by having the ballots of both parties at the coming election printed in uniform style. To this invitation Mr. Andrews has not yet replied. It would be a good thing if the uniformity of ballots conld be secured by mutual con sent, but the warmth of the campaign makes such an event unlikely. But Mr. Kerr rightly gauges the popular feeling in this matter. There is certainly a strong interest in ballot reform among the mass of voters in this state. The fact that there were 756 fewer fail ures in the first nino months of this year than in the same period of lbS9, is satisfactory. It shows that even a ten-months' session of Con gress cannot prevent this great nation's pros perity. -It is noted by the New York Press that Senator Fassett has come to New York "with his probe" to investigate tho Tammany Hall city government some more. But the esteemed Press does not say any thing concerning Eliot F. Shepard's outburst of indiscretion to the effect that Fassett is probing because Mayor Grant vio lated a bargain with Piatt, by which the Re publican Legislature was to create several un necessary and high-salaried police justiceships for the consideration of letting Piatt have the naming of one of them. It is interesting to learn from a letter to an Eastern cotemporary that "Harvard needs a new reading room." From some recent per formances' the more obvious conclusion was that Harvard needs a new supply of reading men. It is rather stunning to find the staid Philadelphia Ledger remarking that the growth of 102 per cent shown in the population of Bingharaton, New York, "M due to its im portant railroad connections and large manu facturing interests, and not to the fact that it is the site of the New York State.AsyIum for Inebriates." Whilothe Ledger was on that theme it should have completed by noting tho fact that if all the inebriates in New York were sent to Binghamton that lovely little city would count its population by hundreds ot thousands. The suggestion of Clarkson as Minister to China can only he based on the recognition bf the decided interest which the Republican party has in getting him clear out of the country. There can be no question of the repre sentative character of the Republicans ot this county who have already signed their names to the declaration of independence in the pend ing campaign. The list, which is published in another column, is the best evidence shown yet ot the width and depth of tho Independent movement In this neighborhood. BY the way, that $5,000,000 tin plate con cern in Baltimore is alleged on investigation to bo something that Baltimore has not heard of. Those Baltimoreans always were behind the times. TiiE'denunciation of lawn tennis by the clergy of Trevls as an unbecoming g?me for girls, will go well as match with the threat of a Western justice shallow to arrest people who play progress! ro euchre, for gambling. Yet some people turn up their noses at the blue laws of a century agol The baseball people are more interested In settling up their differences than the public are. Tne baseball returns for the season show that the public Interest Is a minus quantity. The Tory Government in England may bluster for a fow mouths longer, bnt its fate Is sealed. The protest of Air. Evelyn, a Tory M. P., against Balfour's bulldozing policy in Ireland is a sign that the Conservative element In England is swinging over to Gladstone. Byntjm, as Democratic Speaker of the House, would, wo fear, bo principally efficient in making Reed's partiality look like mild and innocuous justice. Eighty thousand people in Donegal and the surrounding counties are reported at the door of starvation j and the Tory newspapers are scolding Americans for trying to relieve them. Can civilization go further back into the era of barbarism than this! Oub English visitors must be delighted with the gray skies and frequent showers. It is dreadfully English weather, don't you knew. The blowing up of the Dupont Powder Works at Rockford, Del., yesterday, swells this year's list, already large, of great acci dents. A village razod to the ground, and many killed and wounded, is the terrible result of the explosion. HOW DO YOU VOTE? Some More Topular Topics for Exposition Visitors to Ballot On. This Is the sixth week of the Exposition. The topical voting pastime inaugurated by The Dispatch will be contlnuedIIl the close at its headquarters, in the commodious space occupied by the Brunswlck-Balk-Collendcr Bill iard Company. This week some vital topics have been selected, and all are requested to vote yes or no in The Dispatch Poll Book, which opens and closes with tho Exposition every day and night. WEDNESDAY'S VOTING TOPIC. Should Brick Pavements be Prohibltod in All Sections of the City? Open to lady and gentlemen voters. Souvenirs for Lady Voters. PEOPLE OF PEOMINENCE. When a Salvation Army lassie marries she does not promise to obey her husband. That is one of General Booth's ideas of omission. Stefniak will give three different lectures In this country when he arrives in December. Tolstoi, Siberian exile and nihilism will bo the subjects. C. P. Huntington is said to be the only millionaire In New York who never laughs or plays or has any run. But he has a Prince for a son-in-law. That counts for something. Mr. W. L. Douglass, the justly celebrated 3 shoe man, whose picture you may have seen in the newspapers, was elected Mayor of Brocton, Mass., on tho platform, "It pays to advertise," Victor Emanuel the heir apparent to tho crown of Italy, assumed a fictitious title while traveling in Russia and Germany not long ago. Tho titlo happened to belong by heredity to an impecunious Italian, who has now sued the Prince for compensation for its use. It was 20 years ago this wintor that Adelina Patti captured St. Petersburg and received from the Emperor's own hand the decoration of tho Order of Merit. For her 12 appearances this winter in St. Petersburg and Moscow she will bo decorated with a JG3.000 check. Rev. Dr. C. H. Parkhurst, pastor of the Madison Square Presbyterian Church, is a man whose personal appearance would imply that ho was an intellectual rather than an athletic climber. During his last summer's trip to Eu rope, however, he scaled the Matterhorn. Frank Stockton, the novelist, lives in a ronniy house t Madison. N. J. Ho is a methodical man in his literary work, devoting the early part of each day to his writing. At times he suffers from weak eyes, and on such occasions he dictates his stories to his wife. Lady Randolph Churchill, generally well known as a woman of good, strong sense and a beauty, is such a clever musician and ar tist that she declares her ability to to earn a handsome living for herself, if there were need of it. by teaching either of these accomplish ments. Queen- Christina, of Spain, is fond of the opera, but dislikes appearing before publio au diences. She overcomes this difficulty by hav ing her chamber connected by telephone with the opera bonse, and in this way she listens to the performance without having to appear be fore tho public THE BIG TIME COMING. Manifesto of tho Director General of tho "World's Fair to tho Press. Chicago, October 7. Tho following mani festo, sicned by Georgo R. Davis, Director General of tho Columbian Exposition, was Is sued to-night, addressed to the pres3 ot tho United States: "The undersigned has been elected to the position of Director General of the World's Fair. Chicago, 1S93, by the joint action of the National Commissioners and the Board of Directors. In accepting this important posi tion, he accepts all its responsibilities and trusts that with tho aid of the press of this country, this great international exhibition may prove to be snch a success that will be creditable to the American nation. By act of Coneress It is provided that tho buildings for the World's Fair shall be dedicated on the 12th of October, 1892, and that the exposition shall bo open to visitors on the 1st day of May, 1893. and closed not later than the 30th day of October thereafter. Thus wo have two years in which to arrantrc the crounds and erect the buildings, and seven months additional in which to receive and placo the oxhibi's "Fo far as this country is concorned, the un. dersigncd feels justified in the statement that the presentation of the agricultural and stock products will be in every respect superior to auv nreviou3 exhibition, also that in maniifarr. ures and inventions the progress of the United States will be indicated in a most remarkable manner. There is also every reason to antici pate exhibits in large numbers from every other nation on the globe, it being estimated by practical experts that the total number of exhibits will not be less than 59,000. divided equally between the United States and all for eign nations. It is proposed to make this ex hibition specially intcrestine; in all that relates to manufactures by the presentation of tho most important processes in active operation. In comparison with these will be presented tho methods used in foreign countries 400 years since. "Already there are indications that nearly every State and Territory In the Un ion will be fully represented, and that large appropriations bill will be made at the approaching session of different State Legisla tures. Circulars and blank applications for space will be forwarded in due season to all in tending exhibitors. "The undersigned would call upon the press of the United States to hold up his hands in this great international undertaking, which, if successful, will establish the name of America as tho first nation on the globe." Emma Abbott in Ernani. A large and critical audience greeted Miss Emma Abbott, the lady with the unapproach able kiss, at the Bijou last evening. The opera "Ernani." a tragedy in five acts, set to music, is rather somber, but Miss Abhnttw.ia frequently applauded for her rendition of the, score, which is, in several arias, of a very dnv ncuit character, wane me prima donna re ceived the bulk ot applause, her support was not allowed to remain in ignorance ot the apprecia tion of the audience. The Hotel Must Pay Up. Chicago, October 7. In the case of the National Military Encampment Company ver sus the Hotel Richelieu this afternoon the jury held that the hotel company was responsi ble for the full amount of subscription, not withstanding that the Encampment was an ex traordinary lizzie. Other subscription cases will be taken up. DEATHS OF ADAY. Rev. Henry Wliite, D. D. TBT DCKLAP'8 CABLE COMPANT.3 London, October 7. The Hev. Henry White, D. D., for 80 years chaplain of the Chapel Koyal, Savoy, and for many years chaplain or the House or Commons, a great favorite of the Queen and a very popular man with all classesof the com munity, especially with the Americans visiting the city, many of whom he married in tl.e Chapel Koyal, was found dead in his bed at 10 o'clock this morning. He was 50 years old. The cause of death was probably due to heart disease. Neville Craig Searlcs. Neville Craig Bearlek died but week at Pans, III., of consumption... He was born lal'ltttbnrg In 1M7 and moved to Illinois with his narentsln 1857. He left a wife and twp children. OUR SHORT STORIES. COULDN'T GET WHAT HE WANTED. kJ-Jere, waiter," said the sharp-nosed roan, in a Ioua voice. 'Fetch me a canvas back duck right now." ' Canvas-back dnckl" exclaimed the waiter, looking in amazement at tho sharp-nosed man, "Three weeks yet 'fore canvas-Lacks comes in, sir." "'Tis.hoy? This is a first-class place, hain't it?" "Yes, indeed, sir." "Well, if your terrapin stew is right, fetch me in a dish." "Terrapin and canvas-back comes in about the same time, sir. Can't dish none yet, sir." "How first class is this place?" "Can't be any'flrBter, sir." "Then fetch me some brook trout, and have them brown." "'Fraid we can't do it sir. Brook trouts have gone these three weeks," "Well, welll And there hain't anything that grows that I'd rather had than brook trout. unless it's a wild goose. That's sot Guess you can fetch me a wild goose, well done." "You are In bad luck, sir! Wild- geese hain't flyin' yet." "What! I thought you said this was a first class placer' "Yes, sir;but you see " "Never mind what I see, for it don't look; as though I was going to see anything .here. If you hain't got any wild geese, cook me a bear steak. Have it medium, and fetch a couple of quail alongon toast. I'll tryand worry through with bear steak and quail on toast," "Bear steak and quail on toast) There hain't a bear la the market yet, sir, and if we showed up any quail 'fore November they'd cost us 510 apiece, sir." "I don't care if they cost 20 apiece. When I want a thing, I want it, and I hain't saying a word about the price. Fetch me a couple of quail and I'll get along without the bear." "Can't do it, sir. Hain't a dead quail in the State yet, sir." "Well, jiminy cats! Can't I got anything to oat hero at all? If this is a first-class place I don't want to strike a second-class one. What you got, anyhow?" "Well, sir, there's woodcock on toast. Choic est kind, sir. Nothin' finer than woodcock on toast, sir." "That's in season now, is it?" "Ob, yes, sir." "How much is it?" "Dollar and a half, sir." "Well, do you remember my saying anything about wanting woodcock? When I want wood cock I'll order it How are you off for fish." "Got salmon, lake trout, pike ,bass and whlto fish, sir." "No codfish?" "Yes, sir. Boiled codfish, oyster sauce." "What is she quoted at?-' "Sixty cents per plate, sir." "Sorry you can't get mo a quail or two. Is codfish in shape of balls in season now?" "Certainly, sir." "1 thought sure I could catch on to a wild goose in here, and I'm disappointed from way back. S'pose you fetch me in one pair of them codfish balls and" "We don't handle 'em, sir, this establishment draws the lino at codfish balls." "First-class as that, hey?" "Yes. sir." "Then of course you serve trine?" "Yes, sir." "Champagne?'' "Yes, sir." "Quarts?" "Yes, sir."' "How much a quart?" "Four dollars." "Jiminy cats! If I only had a canvas-back duck now, I'd order a quart. Sure you can't get me a canvas-back?" "Sure, sir." "And you don't think you'd like to commit the establishment to codfish ball?" "Couldn't do it, sir." "All right. I don't s'pose you'd object to my taking one of these wooden toothpicks along with me, would you? Thanks." And the sharp-nosed mau went out and asked the policeman on the beat to direct him to a place where he could get a schooner of beer. the way we rest. JJROwrf-Did you take a vacation thl3 year? Jumper Yes, went to Niagara Falls, spent ssreral hours there; went through the Thousand Islands and stayed half a day in Montreal, took a night train to Boston and came tack to New York by boat lwas only gone a,' week, but a little rest does one good." j A GOVERNOR'S REJOINDER. ("eotai. Phil McKinney. Governor of Vlr inia, is a master of repartee, as the law yers' with whom he has practiced know. Several years ago bis opponent in a case was onfc of the most distinguished attorneys in the Sfc'ite, and was trying to prove that ono of the witnesses' was. on a certain occasion, too drunk to attend to business. It was a scorching Au gust day, and Berkeley had taken off his coat. (vest and collar and had his shirt open. Finally when Berkely had introduced what he consid ered conclusive evidence of the witness' drunkenness and inability to attend to business, McKinney said: "Oh. psnawl That's nothing. V man in that condition could transact busi- jss." "Will the counsel on the other side please ex- ilaln to the Court when a man is too drunk to -ransact business?" asked Berkely, with his bland, sarcastic tone and smile. Pointing to Berkeley's open collar, McKIn- fney answered: "When he has to open his shirt collar to spit over his chiu." NEWSPAPERS AS EDUCATORS. (gCHOOLMASTER What is the capital of the Argentine Republic? ' Boy. who reads the newspapers Please, sir, It hasn't any capital, it's bankrupt! WENT WITHOUT SAYING. tr)H, I know what's the matter," he said, as 1113 D DUUHCU i tCW-aiillUCU lilUO U1U nounced that supper would be two hours lite; "It goes without saying that " J "Ye-e-e-s Ge-o-rse," was her sobbing inter ruption, "tha-ts oust It Mary w-w-w-ent with- it s-s-saying a w-wordl A LIVELY OLD CLOCK. ! good old family clock in a walnut case with some terribly green trees and a fiery red (Ottaco painted on Its face, supplies a choice article of time to an Alleghenyhousehold. Tho fcarncgie Library clock is within hearing also, nd the old family clock's humorous habit of alnlng and losing ten mlnutos or so dally does ittle harm. Of late it has been gaining alto gether, and yesterday when the family were ,11 seated at supper, the youngest, aged 6. com menting upon the old clock's alacrity in striking he hour, said: "Do you know, Papa, that our Iock is the best in town. None of 'em can eat it It's always 'way ahead." And it may be remarked for tho benefit of bat 6-ye4r-old and some of his elders that iianyaman who Is apparently ahead in the ,co of life cannot be depended upon, for like e old clock he is fast and Incorrect OUB AECTIC DOMINIONS. e Salient Features of the Report of the Governor of Alaska. ew York, October 7. Lyman E. Knaop. Goiernor of Alaska, in his annual report to Secretary Noble, says that the law prohibiting the ale and manufacture of intoxicating liquois In the Territory is a dead letter as to the IrWians. Liquors of the vilest quality are sold opnly and in violation of the law. The reason assigned Is that prosecution wonld be of no aval. Grand juries refuse to indict and petit joHes refuse to convict More effective legislatrin wonld solve tho question. He cavls attention to the inadequacy of the laws f or fhe administration of justice, preserv ing the ptaco and holding criminals for trial, and recojnmcnds that a commission bo ap pointed toprepare a short code of special laws to be submitted to Congress. The work of tho Governmen; schools, of which tbero are It, Is measurably 'patisfactory. though the attend ance is not lajre. About 100.CQG fnll-Bizcd sealskins were taken bv tho Alaska Commercial Company during the year, and probably half as many more were captured at Vsa by poaching vessels. Other furs, such as bar, mink, otter, etc., are taken in largenumbers. Tee codflshing industry, thoueh tot Iniicrnlflcant is far from what It should be. The, Governor recommends tbat provision for acquiring title to land be afforded by the General Gyvernmeut; hat mall facili ties be increased;! that Government hospitals be established. Authorized representation in Congress should beprovided. The Greatesripf All Monuments. From the WashiostonVtar. The late Samuel V. Randall's fortune of I $5,000 Is the grandest Monument tbat could l3 erected to the memorylol a man who had spent his life in the field of ctlve politics. WEDDED OR TO WED. Ceremonies of Last Evening and Several to Come Children Enjoying Themselves at Aping Their Elders Entertainments of Various Kinds, Fast and Prospective. "Who's to be married ?" asked many a pedes trian on Penn avenue, yesterday afternoon, as they caught a glimpse of the tell-tale awning at the entrance of Christ's M. E. Church. The answer given by the knowlnz ones was, Miss Sarah E. MdCnllougb, daughter of Mr. and Mrs. William McCullough, of Fayette street, and Mr. Arthur Axtell Cowles, son of Rev. O. J. Cowles, pastor of an important Brooklyn church. And at 8 o'clock the ceremony was performed that joined them in wedlock, the groom's father officiating, he having come from Brooklyn, with Mrs. Cowles, for the pur pose. The church was crowded with a fashion ably dressed audience lone? ere tho advent of the bridal party, which consisted of tho bride and groom, two charming bridemaids. Misses May Crawford, of Remington, and Miss Mechin, of Wheeling, and the ushers, Messrs. William T. McCullough, brother of tho bride, Omar S. Decker. W. J. Totten, Linfred Smith, John Rnssell Wheeler and Edmurd Wallace Bel fonr. The bride was a perfect picture in a white satin toilet with high corsage and a court train, the whole profusely trimmed with elegant duchess lace, which fell in soft, lovely folds from neck and sleeve. ,and gave an airy, ethereal effect to tho petticoat, upon which it was draped, that was carried out more folly by the long veil of spider-web texture that draped the entire figure of the youth ful bride. White suede gloves and a loose cluster of roses with a handsome diamond pendant, the gift of the groom, wero the accessories to the bewitching costume. The bridemaids wero attired in simple crepe de chine gowns, of pale pink, in Kate Grcenaway style, and carried pink roses. A reception at the homo of the bride's parents was held at the conclusion of tho services at tne church, after which the newly married de parted for Boston and other points of interest in tho East. They will be "at home" October 30 and November 6 at the McCnllonzh resi dence. The wedding presents received were unusually elegant and expensive, and a sub stantial check for S5.00U was Mr. McCullough's gift THE HOLMES-MTJSPHY WEDDING. Preparations for the Coming Matrimonial Event of To-Morrow Evening. "I wish we could have a wedding every week," saldVMr. H. B. Alden, of Boston, who arrived in the city yesterday attendant upon the Murphy-Holmes wedding. The gentleman is to be one of the ushers at the ceremony to morrow evening, and. together with Mr. J. A. Taylor, of Philadelphia, who will officiate in a similar capacity, was claiming the privilege of old acquaintance last evening, and making, as they termed it, the Ufa of the groom-elect miserable. But the countenance of Mr. Holmes was not expressive of much misery, as ho in turn answered the witty sallies and jokes given him by his friends, and superintended the fin ishing touches of the elegant suite ot apart ments that are to be graced by the presence of his charming bndo upon the return from a trip to the Bermudas. Tho very best man for to morrow evening will be Mr. E. Francis Jack man, and the other ushers, beside Messrs. Al den and Taylor, will be Messrs. J. J. Miller, F. S. Holmes. Harry McFarland, William Davis. William J. Dickens and Dr. James H. Thomp son. A maid of honor, Mls Lyde McGregor, will bo the only attendant of the brido.Miss Murphy, wbosefather, the noted lecturer, Francis Mur phy, will deliver her into tho keeping of the groom at 6 o'clock to-morrow evening, in the Calvary Episcopal Church. A wedding dinner at tho residence of Mr. Thomas Edward Murphy, on Shady avenue, for the bridal party and relatives will precede the departure of Mr. and Mrs. Holmes on the fast line. APPEALS FOB KOBE ZEAI. Regular Jlontldy Sleeting of tho TV. C. T. U Yesterday Afternoon. Tho regular monthly meeting of the Connty W. C. T. U. was held yesterday afternoon in the Third U. P. Church. Mrs. J.'M. Porter presided. Tne first half hour was spent in de votional exercise. Mrs. Bryce reported that the list of delegates to the State Convention at Scrantop had been made up, and the party will leave at 8 A. M. Tuesday next. Some trouble had been experienced in completing this list, owing to tho fact that the Sprlngdale "Y" had refused to contribute any money to help defray the expenses ot the delegate from that group. Mrs. Porter made an earnest appeal for a bet ter distribution of literature, and implored those present to enter into the fight against liquor harder than ever. On motion of Miss McConnell It was decided that the November meeting would be held on the first Tuesday of the month Instead of the second Tuesday, there being a national union meeting on tbat day. The meeting closed with prayer by Mrs. B. H. Jones. BOYS AS BIG AS THEIR PAS. They Give Stag Parties and Discuss Politics and the Tariff. Young folks are proverbially imitative. The latest proof is the fact that youths are now giv ing "stag" parties. One given Monday even ing by Master Davis Martin, on Wylle avenue, was a pronounced success or 'twas so declared by the guests, who, 18 in number, with the ut most gravity and dignity seated themselves 'round the festive board, and while disposing of the different courses, discussed the chaotic condition of Pennsylvania politics, tho atten tions paid the Comte de Paris, and the tariff question. So much did the youthful lords of creation enjoy their exclusiveness, tbat Master Jimmie Didwiddie has issued invitations for a similar affair for next Monday ovening. ALL BEADY FOB TBF.LB JAUNT. Members of the Woman's Club Anticipating a Pleasant Trip. An enjoyable meeting of the Woman's Club was held yesterday, at which Spain's past,pres ent and future were discussed. Mrs. Wade presided with her usual grace, and presented to the club tor consideration the subject of lec tures and lecturers for the coming season. At the next meetinz papers will be read by Mrs. Schriven and Mrs. Wade. Arrangements are all complete for the jaunt to be taken by the club next week, and interest runs high concerning it. The ladles will leave Pittsburg Tuesday afternoon and re turn Wednesday afternoon, spending the day at Wopsonnonnock, famed for its exquisite natural scenery and charming long-diatanco views. Some of the Four Hundred Here. With Mr. McK. Twumbly and his wife at tho Hotel Duquesne, Pittsburg is graced by two very prominent members of tho New Yom "400." Mr. Twomblyisa valuable lieutenant of Ward McAllister's, and his wife is a very fascinating lady, a great favorite in society, and a daughter of the late AV. II. Vanderbilt With them are Miss Hopkins and A. H. Tiers, of Morristown, N. Y. Princeton Club's Reception. The Princeton Club held its first reception of the season at Brooks' Academy last evening. There were exactly 0 conples in the grand march, and they represented the society and cnlture of the two cities. The members of the club are Samuel E. Marks, J. De Kaiser. John Kaiser, William Scott, John Hough and Charles Bowman. Keeping a Promise. Warm personal friends are Director Innes and Rev. Robert Grange, rector of the Church of the Ascension in the East End, and true to a promise made last year by Mr. Innes, when In the city, he will next Sunday morning render on ins lamous iromDone. in tne ..ist .nd sanc tuary, the "Inflammatus" from Stabet Mater. Social Chatter. Mb. George R. Fleming is registered at the Anderson, and after to-morrow evenins he will be privileged to add "and wife" to his name. He comes from Harrlsbnrg. is quite a prominent man and will marry Miss Leila Rob inson, daughter of Rev. Thomas Robinson, D. D.. of the Western Theological Seminary. Mn. and Mrs. A. C. Robertson celebrated their twenty-fifth wedding anniversary last evening in Cyclorama Hall with a host of friends. Mrs, James McKown, of Sewickley, enter tained quite a little gathering of friends yes terday afternoon. Railroad Superintendents In Council. New Yore, October 7. The American Society of Railway Superintendents met to day at the Hotel Brunswick, and elected 33 new members. The following officers were chosen for the ensuing year: President, H. Stanley Goodwin, of the Lehigh Valley Railroad; First Vice President, R. G. Fleming, of the Savan nah. Florida and Western Railroad: Second Vice President C. W. Bradley, of the West Shore Railroad: Secretary, G. Hammond; Treasurer, R. L Bully; Executive Committee for two years. C. 8. Gadsen and O. E. McClel land, and Executive Committee for one year. O. M. Shepard and A. B. Atwater. SNAP SHOTS IN SEASON. When a saddle horse changes step suddenly the gait's a jar. How about a "People's Temple?" It's a Lon don notion, but there's no harm in talking about it on tbat account Do you know what is meant by a People's Temple? If not here's the idea in a few pencil strokes. It's a building designed to cover a space wherein thousands in London at least 100,000 could assemble for the discussion of topics of public interest It fs to be designed on beautiful lines Ideal In structure as in purpose. It must be sub-divisi ble when required, so several discussions can be earned on at the same time without Butter vcupping the themes. In the good old times when the Athenians and the Romans held monster meetings to discuss pubillc questions covering was not essential. The open air was good enough. They were tough old voters in those days. The weather never interfered with their debates or demonstrations. Perhaps the weather of the dim past was not so prankish as the weather of the luminous present We don't believe it was. But whether it was or not, tho idea of a People's Temple is a good one. The people when they, desire to commune to gether now must hire a hall. If they Intend to gather and rip up the back some scheme or bobby in which the hall owner or owners have an interest, the hiring of said hall is no easy matter. If there was a Peoplo's Temple owned, controlled, dedicated to the people, irrespective of mass, class or clique every question of tho day could be talked over, every scheme inspected, every plot punctured perhaps. If a Temple cannot be thought of on account of cost, then why not select a meeting ground for public debate an open-air forum where all who desire can talk without disturbing the fel low who wants none of it In these days of practical, noisy politics of windy, wordy poll tics such a spot would be a public boon. And. as one set of politics dovetails into tho other set so nicely, making an endless chain of ora tory, redfire and mud over tho bosom of tho land, it is needless to say that a People's Temple, covered or open, walled in or clap boarded, would be occupied at all times. Modern philosophers, moralists and political economists have always advocated the public forum as the distributing point for questions of the hour. He doth no longer burn the midnight oil. And bend o'er volumes huge and musty With aching eyes and temper crnsty. Longing for Light the student's worldly f oil The prize, the honor, won thro' nights of toil The hearty praise of tutor over trusty. The joyous shout of comrade, strong and lusty. No, not for these he struggles nights and days And runs, and jnmps, and scrambles Through mud, through mire and brambles. Now on neat shelf tho new-bound book ho lays Unthumoed, unchcrished while he speeds and plays. To educate his limbs he rambles. Nor cares for oil, nor gas, nor candles. He's simply training for a great event this fall. And wants to come In winner when they play football! Buffalo Bill seems to be drawing better in Europe than Bill McKinley's bill. The Supreme Court Justices wear gowns. When a frisky lawyer stirs them up they also wear frowns. A LADY doctor attached to an Oswego train ing school has ordered her lady pupils to stop wearing garters. If the hosiery is not sus pended the pupils will be. When a preacher wants to split bi3 congre gation all he has to do is to talk politics from the pulpit The Oil Exchange nowadays is about as lively'as a graveyard at midnight The Pharmacy Board is after the fellows who give customers arsenic instead of alum. If they cannot prescribe they should be pro scribed. WoJfEN rave about the bonnet on their fuzzy little bead. Calling it a duck or dearie every minute; But the men ignore the feathers and the rib bons rosy red. And just rave about tho pretty face that's in it A ship always bows to the sea. The political club has taken tho place of the baseball club. The season will end In Novem ber. Don't permit the iron and steel barons to miss anything in Pittsburg. Here they will fiqd why the United States is really and truly great If the voters are to be talked to death some of the candidates will have to attend the fun eral. The gossips say that Winnfe Davis will not wed her Northern lover after all. He's in financial trouble. Ho cannot win her without money. Fashion rules in the cut of the dresses Few women her edicts defy. Now girls who wear golden-bncd tresses Will not be in style till they dye. Darkness can fall on a city without jarring it Good livers. living frequently makes vefy bad A professional lady who has traveled ex tensively, but whose home is in Philadelphia, yesterday chatted briefly about progressive cities. She said Philadelphia was a nice city to sleep In: that Pittsburg U not pretty In its busi ness center, but has life, lots of it, and was bound to keep on growing In wealth and popu lation. When the dear ladies take a hand in helping us along the old fogies may dance attendance upon them. Her voice is cracked and ruffled. But there's music in her toes: Hence the first is always muffled But this is all she clothes. It is easier to hido grief than to conceal joy. The lottery has been excluded from the mails. An election is a lottery. Perhaps this is the reason Mr. Delimiter Is afraid to mail his letter of acceptance. The light opera stars are traveling on their costumes and jewelry Instead of their voice. If they strike light houses their stock in trade will have to be hypothecated. When the Chairman of the Republican State Committee "thinks" old Allegheny will bo in lino there's good ground for doubting tho outcome in the grand old Keystone this fall. People who have tears always on tap find it oasy to laugn when real trouble overtakes them. Sickness makes us peevish, health makes us wicked, but love simply drives us crazy. It is to be hoped that the Supreme Court will decide that the city has a right to use tho Allegheny wharf for park purposes. If the Jus tices wonld take a look at it they wonld see the justice of the demand. ' Sarah Bernhardt has had an Interview with her hairdresser, and the French Cleopatra will wear cbon-hued locks. There will be lots of dye in the snaky play. The sun seems to have gone so far south this time as to be clear ont of sight The Supreme Court acts with great decision. Irwe bad implicit faun in each other tho necessaries of life would neither be measured nor weighed. Emery will soon explain the X. Y. Z. puzzle. This is what he should do. If he satisfactorily uncovers the mystery tho Delamater orators will realize what it is to fool with a buzz saw. Uncle Jerrt P.csk is making some sweep ing political prediction.. He is probably pi ac tlcing before tackling the weather. What Jerry doesn't know about practical politics would till a volume of Congressional Jtecords. A sinner on earth may be a saint in heaven, provided be gets aboard in time. Willie Winkle. CURIOUS C0NDENSAT10KS.' On a Connecticut railroad is a newsboy 82 year3 olcL"He was formerly a school teacher, A Kansas man sunk a shaft on his farm the other day, and in going down 100 feet. It is said, struck two 5-!ooi veins of mineral paint, a 10 foot stratum of brick clay, a 20-inch vein of coal and a 5-foot stratum of marble. S. S. Karr, of Almond, a new settle ment in p'&uer county, claims to be the owner of the rebel flaz which floated over tho Ander sonville Prison. He says he was the last man to leave the horrible place and managed to se cure the flag and take it along without dis covery. About three years ago seven men fa Perry, Ga paid Jl each to start a savings bank. The bank is now operated under a State cJiar.t?r',ls locatedin a building owned by its stockholders, and during the last Vi months over s-jo.ououf business was transacted through its cashier. Ud amng the Catskill Mountains re sides En Gray, who is 103 years old. He has Deen a resident of that locality over 50 years. t?W ;cnPles a bin by the roadside. Ho anddprovaions? h"0 SapP"ed b,s f oel' cloth"S A loaf of bread purchased by a family in Chicago, but not nsed on acconnt of it3 pecu liar appearance, was found to contain oxide of i?: The Pojson had evidently been absorbed the flour of which the bread was made from the heavy lettering o? the bag in which it had been put up by tho millers. The Indians of tho Sioux Reservation are much excited over tho claims of a vener able medicine man who is developing himself, according to their belief, into the Messiah they have so long expected. He is over lOOyears old and has secured many believers. The nearness of the winter season will. It is thought, prevent any trouble. Farmer William Carter, who lives near Bristol, Pa., had bis old family pet horse stolen from his field a few days aco by Jack White, a Bristol man, who afterward sold it to Frank Lynn, another Bristol man. for 50 cents and Lynn afterward sold it to a Philadelphia hoo dealer for 59, who in turn sold it to tha Zoolog ical Garden to be fed to the wild beasts. Jonas Leopold has a fine farm in East Coventry, Chester County, and the other morn inc without any special effort plucked SI stalks or four, five, six and seven-leaf clover. ine i four-leaf is much sought for as a curiosity. as there is rond IneV nn av.,w r.i., n- ;1 date Farmer Leopold has secnred"2J5 of tbo phenomenal stalks and believes tho record can go much higher. Last year's floods sent about 400,000,000 feet of lumber down the Susquehanna, and a Lumberman's Exchange was organized at Columbia to reap some benefit from Ios caught To-day they have 10.000,000 feet of lumber in stock In tho yards or their saw mill, and to (late the exchance has divided ;30O.COO win reach SfjxT K eS"matea the profit3 A large plum tree growing in a garden in Santa Barbara, CaL, sent a root into an old and disused sewer and followed It for some dis tance. Finally it came to whero tho sewer was cut off by a stone wall. The root here paused for some time, then went up the wall a foot above the ground, passed through a bole, down tlio other side where, it re-entered the sewer and continued its course. "While the annual banquet of the Elec tric Club was In progress in their New York clubhouse on Thursday evening a band in tho offices of the Long-Distance Telcphono Com pany, two miles awav. plaved for the enter taiament of the assemblage. The music wa transmitted bv "a curious contrivance, the transmitter of which was concealed In tbo chandelier abovo the table in tho Electrio Club. The Russian Czar's wardrobe vies in extent and variety with that of Mr. Henry Irving. Hislmperial Majesty has -Ii different uniforms, all of .which be has worn save one. that or a Russian field marshal. Although the titular head ot bis armv, the Czar has vowed never to wear the dress or a field marshal until this rank shall have been con ferred upon him by the other field marshals after a victorious war. Chief Justice Paxson entered a barber shop at Allentown a few days ago and laid down a job lot of 37 of the finest razors tho barber had ever seen. "I am accustomed to have larce numbers of gentlemen sojourners from Philadelphia at my honre in Hacks connty." the Justice explained as tho occasion seemed to call for something of tho sort, "and as the nearest barber shop is nine miles off a razor comes in handy." Somo weeks ago C. P. Kilbourn, a Coudersvflle veteran, both as a soldier and a hunter, made a statement that the first buck tall was worn in Amrnst, 1SSI. Now ho comes forward, along with Colonel J. S. Wade, and admits that General Kano wore the first buck tail April. 1861. It was fastened to the General's cap, and he strode proudly into Coudersport with the plume waving airily aloft. Then fol lowed the organization of the famous Bucktail Regiment. A game almost unknown in the United States was heartily enjoyed on Mr. Schepflin'3 green, at Dunellen, N. J., on Thursday. About ten years ago. while abroad. Mr. Scbeptiin was invited by an English gentleman to take part in a game at bowls on a ereaa near Liverpool. Mr. Schepflin was so pleased with the game that after reachinc homo he built a creenand procured bowls from Scotland, and invited a few of his friends to share with him the pleas ures of the game. A young woman who was a passenger with some friends on one or the steamers leav ing Boston for a Maine city was akcd in tho morning whether she had a comfortable night, and she replied that her sleen was dist irhprt he. cause she bad not got used to the llfo pre server, which prevented her from getting into an easy position. It turned out that she had fastened one around her body nn retirin" for the niebt, and imprisoned iu its folds, she had become black and blue from the pressure. On the plantation of Sir. John II. Roberts, near Robertville, S. Cohere is a tree, if not destroyed by the turpentine hands, that does not touch the gronnd by six feet. A pino sapUne;, cut down at some period unknown to tbo oldest inhabitant, lodged on the liiub of an adjacent tree. The growth of the trfe and limb gradually closed around it until it be came completely imbedded. Drawing its life from the tree, it crows aud presents a Inv rioui appearance. AH trace of the flump fiom which it was cut has long since disappeared. While gathering sweet violets on tha Clarion river's banks last April two little girls found somo unusual specimens and planted them at home. Shortly the mother discovered among the collection a small pumpkin vine, which was duly replanted. The vine waxed strong, blooming nicely, a small pumpkin camo and when harvested weiched ii pounds. Its species is veiled in obscurity. Last week the Clarion Fair awardedthe little girls a premium, and next Thanksgiving, when the Matfitt family has a reunion, the pumpkin will appear revised and made up into pies, which the little girls are expected to make. LAUGHS FOR THE BREAKFAST TABLE, "Dear, dear Eliz3 1 How deaf your father is growing. He hardly seems to hear when I speak to him. ' ' said Mrs. 1'roudhummer. 'Yes, ma. I asked him to buy me a scalskla sacquea while ago." Chicago Times, Her First Thouhht I dreamed of yon last night Miss Kosallnd. "On, did you? And what dress did I have on?" lliegende Blatter. First Old Maid (excitedly) There's a man under the bed I Second Old Muld (calmly) -Lock the doors. Epoch. She isn't it terrible tbat ice should be so dear In the summer and coal to dear In the winter. Chappie Taas. Sow, ir we could only have wlntah In the summali time and snmmah In the wlntah, cverythlngwouldbejust right bah Jove! Sew lork Herald. "And you mean to ss.y that your train crossed the chasm where, the bridge had burned without beins wrecledA Hemarkabtet What kept It from going down?" 'As good luck would have It Just at that mo ment it was being held up by train robbers." Chicago Post. Travers How much are those trousers? 1 allor Twenty dollirs, sir. Travers-And you say you require a deposit Irom slranzers? Tailor Yes, sir. Travers (warmly)-Already I feel myself grow ing lallmate with you. Stm fork Sun, Wasn't His Own. Johnson Better be careful with your saw. If not, you'll run into a nail. Jackson Ob, I doa'tcare how I use this saw. II Isn't mine. Johnson Whose is It? Jackson-lours. 1'antte Blade. Funnyman A fine pair of bays yon have there. Mr. Horsey; raised in Massachusetts, 1 suppose? Horsey Why do you suppose they were raised In Massachusetts? "Massachusetts Is the Bay State, isn't It?" "To tee you bestradttle a na. Mr. Funnyman, one would take you for a Green Mountla Buy." BVlingt. -$& &tt
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers