mSlmmSimfSiifMtifFi '?p fPRp"? rT ;"?aS? K T i. , A THE PITTSBUEG- DISPATCH,' SATURDAY '"SEPTEMBER 20, "1890. IF m THE DISPATCH 160 COLUMNS TO-MORROW COLUMNS WILL BE THE LARGEST NEWSPAPER IN WESTERN PENNSYLVANIA. IT WILL GIVE MORE NEWS AND CARRY MORE SPECIALTIES THAN ALL THE OTHERS. EVERY DEPARTMENT COMPLETE AND OF HIGH STANDARD. GET A COPY AND BE CONVINCED. 9$m ESTABLISHED FEBRUARY . 1S48. VcL 45. No. S25. EntereC at Pittsburg I'ostomce. November 14, 1&7. as second-class matter. Business OfficeCorner Smithfleld and Diamond Streets. News Rooms and Publishing House 76, 77 and 79 Diamond Street. HASTE!!?. ADVERTISING OFFICi, KOOMX1, TKIBUE 15UILD1NS, NEW YOUK. where complete flies of THE DISPATCH can always be Sound. Porelpn aavertwers appreciate the con venience. Home a4ver'frers and friends of THE DISPATCH, while In e York, are also made welcome. THE DISPATCII is regularly on sale a Jireniano's. S Cnion Square, Sew York, and ITAic. de'Opera. Paris. Prance, inhere any one who has been disappointed at a hotel riruj Hand can obtain it. TERMS OF THE DISPATCH. I JTAGE TREE IX THE UNITED STATES. JiA'.LY UiirATCit. One Year. SCO 3U1LTIUSFATCH, 1'erQuarter SCO Jiailv DisrATcii, One Mouth TO J)jm Dispatch, lncludingt-unday, lyear. 3000 JIaiia Dispatch, lncludlnKSunday.3m'ths. ISO Jijiily Dispatch. Including fcunday.lmonlh 90 tEitn DisrATcn, One "Year 150 Wfeklt Dispatch, One Year 13 1 he Daily Disr-ATCII is delivered by carriers at V cents per -week, or Including tiunday edition, 1 1 M cents per Trees. PITTSBURG. SATURDAY. SEP!". ;20, 1S9X THE IUIJ.H CAU-E UNHURT. It is bsurd to suppose that Secretary Bal four thought to prevent the Irish appeal to this country by the arrest of Slessrs. Dillon and O'Brien. Mr. O'Brien himself scouted the (-a yesterday. TLe places of the ar rested champions can be filled whether Mr. T. P. O'Connor and Sir. James O'Kelly, as suggested in the cable dispatches, or some other able Nationalists are chosen, the mis sion to enlighten America upon the latest phase of Ireland's wrongs is sure to be suc cessful. The real reason for these arrests is probably to be found in the resolve of the Tory Ministry to inflame the Irish question, to excite the Irish people to violence, in or der that they may appeal to the English electors at the approaching general election upon what wc should call here a sectional plaform. That is to say, Lord Salisbury has concluded that it is im possible to wean the Irish National party from its alliance with the Liberals under Gladstone, and therefore the Tory policy will be to egg on the Nationalists to action that may be held up to British voters as rebellion, treason and all that sort of thing. It is the old game of the Tories. They have played it successfully more than once. But they have a great English states man to reckon with this time, as well as the aggressive and patriotic band of Irish Na tionalists. Voters in Great Britain kuow a great deal more about the misgovernment of Ireland than they did, and they will be apt to hear the truth from Gladstone and his able lieutenants. Therefore we are not sur prised to bear tbat the Irish Nationalists, including the arrested leaders in Tipperary, regard the latest move of Secretary Balfour as a Messing in disguise. A CANADIAN FARCE. Prince Gecrge of "Wales did not, it proves, pulverize a half dozen Montreal toughs in a midnight brawl, nor see the in terior of a Montreal police station, but he cut a great figure at a viceregal ball given in Quebec in hU honor night before last. The chroniclers of the festive scene inform us with gusto that Prince George wore the brilliant uniform of a Captain in the Royal Navy, the star and ribbon of a Knight of the Garter and a jabilee medal! It must nave cheered the heart of the loyal Canucks to gaze upon this glorious visiou of half fledged royalty. It appears also that the awlul question of precedence was avoided by dispensing with the formal reception and quadrille d'honneur. On former occasions ot this sort the most painful complications have resulted lrom the viceregal inability to properly recognize the nice shades of rank in his guests. On Thursday night he avoided the pitfalls by recognizing nobody, and the ball was a success. How much hap pier the Canadians would be it they were to come in out of the royal rain, as it were, and stand shoulder to shoulder upon the grand plane of American citizenship, where all men are equal, and even stars and garters and jubilee medals do notentitle the wearer to the pas! MI.K-MAKING IN AMERICA. A review of American progress in silk niaking, which appears in this week's num ber of Harper's Weekly, bears very practical tes'iinouy to the benefits of the protective system as well as to the skill, industry and enterprise of American mechanics and capi talists. How great and rapid the progress in silk manufacture in the United States has been may be judged when it is stated that a quarter of a century ago this country could hardly be said to count silk-making among her industries, and when the latest returns show that silks to the value of nearly sixty niillionsof dollars were made here in 1889 as compared with importations of silk valued at but filtv millions. "We have reached a point where the native production of silk goods exceed the importations, and even con servative importers of silk admit that the next ten years will see us manufacturing practically all the silk we need. As yet American looms have not suc ceeded in producing high-priced silks, high grade brocades, velvets or to any extent fabrics composed of silk and cotton. There arc several reasons for this, chief among tbem being the fact that the hand process of making silk has not been established here, and that American machinery, wonderful as it is, cannot yet rival the hand-made looms of the old world. Another reason is that our operatives will not and cannot work lor such wages as keep the foreign op erative in comfort. But the great bulk of the manufactures of staple fabrics, of surahs, cheap brocades, taffeta and wash silks, such as pongees, is pabsing into oar hands. American machinery in this trade, as in most others, excels all other in the world for swiftness, originality and labor saving. '5ewi'fc,rml ' machinery for ailk mafcinc; are constantly being invented in this country, and the men and women em ployed in the industry, numbering to-day over 50,000, and likely to be double that number in the next ten years, are amonjr the most intelligent and prosperous of American mechanics. For the raw material this country is still dependent upon foreign lands, although some silk has been produced in thin State and Califortfia. The raising of silk worms 160 w. is a very delicate and exacting work, and America can hardly compete successfully when China pays its silk-worm tenders a cent a day, Italy fourteen cents a dajr, and France twenty cents a day. But in all the processes posterior to the reeling of the silk as obtained from the caterpillars American machinery is surely and speedily taking the lead. It is pleasant to learn, moreover, that American silk operatives make very good wages, and among the 100 mills in Paterson, N. J., which is the center Jof the trade, a considerable proportion of the operatives are girls, who are able to mate from nine to eighteen dollars a week. Feminine delicacy of touch, quickness and superior taste qualify women especially for manufacturing silk. Taking these facts and figures together, the condition of the silk industry is peculiarly cratifying to Americans in general and protectionists in particular. THE ABSENTEEISM FROM CONGRESS. Speaker Beed is quoted as complaining bitterly of the absentees who delay business at 'Washington. He points to the expense of maintaining long Congressional sessions and of the unfairness to those members who attend. These objectious are well founded; and be might have included the confusion and suspense about legislation to which the business interests of the country are sub jected. But the Speaker and his associates are not themselves wholly irresponsible for the ab senteeism. They have encouraged the bit ter fight for partisan advantage, over which so much of the time of the session has been wasted. It is not surprising that men who go to Congress expecting to put in hut a few months there feel strongly drawn away by the demands of their personal affaiis when the session lasts into September. In the end nothing is gained by any party which projects and protracts a struggle in Congress palpably meant for partisan ad vantage only. The level-headed men in both parties should unite to get through with their work in the public interest as speedily as possible, and let results tell which party's policy is best. THE BEST EVIDENCES OF SOLIDITY. One of the best evidences that the ex traordinary activity in the local real estate market has a solid basis is the statement of a leading agent yesterday that not a vacant storeroom was to be had in the business part of the city. This means that not a penny has been over-expended in providing for the mercantile needs of the town. It means, moreover, that the demand still exceeds the supply. Very nearly the same holds good of houses for rental. There are really few untenanted; and none for any great length of time. It is also true that if there were more smaller houses they would be quickly taken up. Though there has been and is promised a large increase in office accommodations, it is also notable that the large buildings are very well filled. All this shows that the activity in the home real estate market rests upon as strong a basis as can be desired. And this in itself is a substantial and reliable indication of the real and enduring character of Pitts burg's progress. TREASURY FUNDS IN THE BANK. As a way to ease monetary stringency, Senator Farwelt declares tbat the surplus Treasury funds should be deposited with the national banks. Mr. Wharton Barker, of Philadelphia, proposes they should be loaued to the Clearing Houses on the joint responsibility of the banks composing those associations, which comes to the same thing. As both these gentlemen were lead ing Republicans during the campaign in which the chief orators attacked the Cleve land administratioa for having $60,000,000 of Treasury funds on deposit with banks, it might be supposed that the recollections of 1888 would estop them from recommending that what Secretary Fairchild was attacked for Secretary "Windom should repeat. But the tight condition of "Wall street seems to bave given them new light; perhaps it has convinced them that "the conditions have changed" since 18S8. Mr. Barker's proposition that the Treasu ry funds shall be loaned to the Clearing Houses, evokes objections that it really involves a loan to the banks without ob taining their direct responsibility. The Clearing Houses are organized for a specific purpose tbe convenient adjustment of balances between the banks; but this plan would enlarge their functions by charging them with new dnties for which their machinery is not adapted. It is even doubt ful it the Clearing Houses could contract any liability as agent for the banks in deal ing with the Goverument. Without a radical change and reorganization of the Clearing House Associations, Mr. Barker's scheme would simply amount to a loan of the Government funds to irresponsible and anomalous organizations. The objections to the loan or deposit of Treasury funds, to the banks directly, apply also to the Clearing Houses scheme. Of course, the deposit of Treasury funds for disbursement at various points, in the designated United States depositaries, is not open to criticism. But the keeping of a large surplus constantly on deposit with the banks as a relief from monetary stringen cy raises two objections. First, if money is worth five, six or twenty per cent, it is because commerce needs it, and, of coarse, the cost comes out of the people. If the United States Government collects 50,000,- 000 or 100,000,000 from the people, that is not needed for Government disbursements, and keeps it on deposit in tbe banks to be loaned out, it is simply taking from the peo ple whatever the interest earned on those deposits may be and giving it to the banks. In the second place, such deposits while they may bring temporary relief would actually imperil the stability of our finances. The presence of a large amount of loanable funds in the banks always stim ulates speculation to absorb it. If the Treasury reserves were deposited in the banks, it wonld not be long before it was taken up; and then in case of stringency the efforts of the Treasury to meet its otrn lia bilities might exaggerate the stringency to the degree of panic. The functions of the Government in con nection with the finances are clear. It should collect only such an amount of rev enues as is necessary to meet its legitimate wants. If it should find Itself in pesession ot surplus beyond its own needs, it should employ that surplus in the reduction of bonded indebtedness and in judicious ex penditures. If taxes permanently exceed the limits of economical expenditures they should be reduced so that the danger of locking up funds in the Treasury beyond the needed reserves will be permanently avoided. This policy fully carried out will free the Treasury from any shadow of re sponsibility for stringency in the money market.- Finally, when the Treasury has, by such a conrse, guarded against its share of respon sibility in the locking up of funds, itshould serve notice by a firm adherence to its policy that Wall street must thereafter stand on its own bottom. GOOD FOR THE QUAIU Game Warden Hague and the quail are on top. Judge vEwing decided the some what famous quail case yesterday in the bird's favor. A game dealer of this city exposed some twenty quail for sale during the close season; Mr. Hagne prosecuted him successfully before an alderman and now has obtained a confirmation nf the verdict in the Court of Common Fleas. It is now clear subject perhaps to Supreme Court re vision that the law of 1878 protects game about as far any law can. In tbe case now decided the birds had been imported from St. Louis, and it is not certain moreover that they had been killed after tbe close of the lawful season. Judge Ewing rales that the law makes it illegal for auyone to kill, have in his possession or sell birds during the close season within the limits ot this State. The precedents cited by tbe Court confirm this view. With such a law and such an energetic Warden as Mr. Hague quail and other game birds are sure to ob tain their rights. We advise our readers if quail invade their premises daring the close season to shoo them away instanter. A quail killed half a century ago and kept on ice to this day, if found in your possession between January IS and October IS would convict you of sundry high crimes and mis demeanors. The West End wishes to scrape a closer acquaintance) with dear old Allegheny, and a bridge is suggested as the surest means. There is a strong probability of a bridge being built from Steuben street, West End, to Cbartlers street, Allegheny. The signature of President Harrison never served a better purpose than it did yes terday inscribed upon the anti-lottery bill. Postmaster General Wanamaker Is to be con gratulated upon the enactment of this law, for which he has fought bravely. It is worth while recalling also that but for the vigorous pro tests of The Dispatch and other journals that tbe anti-lottery law would still be pigeon holed with the House Fostofflce Committee. A truth upon which Pittsburgers may well ponder is to be found in the essay which won the first prize in the contest instituted by The Disr-ATCii, namely: That cities must make known the advantages they offer to win appreciation. The arrest of more Nationalist leaders is not surprising to those who realize bow neces sary it is for the Tory Government In England to provoko the Irish to violence. The London Times let the Tory cat out of the bag when it said yesterday that the only canse for surprise was that the arrests had been delayed so long. It is true that the general election Is not very far off and Lord Salisbury is sadly hard up for ammunition. The slow progress of the conferees of the House and Senate upon the tariff bill is due to the absence of many Republican members of Congress from Washington. Tbe retarding of this bill is very Injurious to tbe country. Jay Gould says that the whole country is growing in a healthy way. tbat a general panic is an impossibility unless tho government of tbe country is overthrown, which he docs not expect to occur, and tbat the stringency in Now York is moro apparent than real. There are occasions when a certain potentate of darkness finds it convenient to tell the truth, and in this case we are inclined to believe Mr. Gould. The English Government's latest recipe for treating a famine-stricken people is a novelty. But tbe Irish people will obtain big damages for such flagrant malpractice. To those who arc accustomed to the law's delays in settling up insolvent estates, it is a very good card for the Fidelity Title and Trust Company that, having a year before it is re quired to tile its first account la the Lawrence Bank case, it goes into court three months earlier with a view to making a division of the moneys already on hand. Usually assignees do not anticipate the limit given them. Mr. Powderly states, with some Bhow of exultation, tbat tbe recent strike cost the New York Central 20,000,000, but he is curiously silent upon what the strikers lost. It was hardly to be expected that the directors of the Chicago World's Fair would choose anyone but a Chicagoan for Director General, but it Is gratifying to know that Gen eral Hastings came in a good second in the race. His executive abilities may still- be utilized in tbe service of the Exposition. Speaker Reed found it harder than ever to count a quorum in tbe House yester day. And keeping a quorum when it was counted proved to be impossible. The benefits of the Exposition are made very plain in tho three prize essays which The Dispatch prints to-day. Aside from their literary merits these essays show to no small extent that the Exposition as an Institution is appreciated by tbe community at large. PEOPLE OF PROMINENCE. Attorney General Miller has been visiting Secretary Proctor, in Vermont, this week. Miss Maria Bo wen CHAriN is announced to be the editor of Sear and far, a journal to be started in the interest of the Working Girls' Clubs. Senator Spooner, of Wisconsin, will make stump speeches almost dally next month, mainly in his own State, but also in Minnesota, Texas and elsewhere. Judging by reports, "Headsman" Clarkson is so busy these wet days declining the editor ship of great Republican newspapers that he barely has time to go to his meals. A piece of the True Cross is said to be worn as an amulet by Emma Jucb. The newspaper which devotes a column of space to this story prints a concertnotlce of the Juch Company on another page. All the estate of tbe late Henry W. Grady, has been placed in the hands of his widow and amounts to about $175,000. Mrs. Grady has arrived home from Chautauqua and is making arrangements for the eaucation of her children. Prince JlouAMED Burhaneddin, the 5-year-old son of the Sultan, has just been en rolled as a seaman on board of the Turkish frigate Orkhanie. and the officers cbarced with tbo superintendence of his naval education have been appointed. Dr. Andrew Canfield. of Brooklyn, has accepted a call to St. Paul's University Church, Chicago, on a smaller salary than he was re ceiving in Brooklyn, "because be deemed it best for tbe church that he should work in the West for tbo next ten years of his life." Judge Allen G. Thurman's birthday an niversary, November 13, will be made tbe occa sion of a banquet in his honor, by the Demo crats of Columbus. O. Mr. Thurman will thon have completed his 76th year. The Hon. Grover Cleveland bas been invited to attend. Joseph Cook has jnst returned from a long lecture tour in tbe summer schools, extending as far West as Minnesota, and is reported 'to have had great and brilliant audiences. .Mr. Cook has had 3,000 miles to travel in the severest heat of summer, and is now at Cliff Seat, Lake Goorge, engaged In editorial work. He is under contract to give 30 lectures on the Pacific coast In the early autumn. Mis3 Elizabeth Gates Is the richest un married woman in Buffalo. Miss Gates, by good business management, bas aaded very considerably to the J1,000,000 left to her by her father, at one time President of tbe Western New York and Pennsylvania Railroad. Tho late Sir. Gates was not what could be called a church-goer. Indeed, it is related tbat tbe only' time bo was in church he came quite late and not finding at once the familiar bonnets of bis family to direct him totbeirpewheapproached an usher and said In a hoarse whisper: "Where is that infernal pew anyhow?" OUR SHORT STORIES. NO CHANCE FOR HIM IN THE CITY. iXTell, my boy, for your father's sake, I'll . give you a chance to mako your mark in life. 'Of courso you will have to begin at the lowest ronnd and work your way up.'l "Young Clark, who was about IS, was turned over to the head of the retail department of the big drygoods house of Belford & Co. For a week he worked like a major. At night he would go to his lodgings, and after reading a few chapters of a novel loaned him by a friend, would jump Into bed to dream of a poor boy who made his mark and married his employer's beautiful daughter. Something told him that Mr. Belford mnst have a beautiful daughter. Gradually bojbegan to think of her as one whom he knew, and by every possible ruse he tried to be sent on an errand to tbe Belford residence, but in vain. One evening he went to tbo strawberry festival of tho Planet Street Universalis t Church. This was the church the Belfords attended. His heart beat rapidly. He felt that Mr. Belford's beautiful daughtermust ie at the strawberry festival. 'ie asked the first young man whom he en caged in conversation if Mr. Belford's daugh ter were there. He was ansvrered in the affirm ative. His companion pointed out a tall, ancular, red-haired, freckled-faced woman of about SO. Young Clark felt faint, but he braced himself sufficiently to ask: "Hasn't he any other daughter I" "That's bis only child." was the reply. This was a crusher. The vision of loveliness was gone and there sat the homely creature eating strawberries with fleshly fervor. Young Clark went to bed tbat night to dream that be was married to a fright, a shrew, a per fect virago. He awoke early and almost ex hausted from tbe borror of bis dream. After dressing he sat at a table and wrote a brief note: "Dear Mr. Belford Yon have been kind to me, but I can stand it no longer. Do not blame me. I as disappointed. Country boys have a wrong idea of the city." Theu he packed bis valise, paid bis board bill and took the first train for Flatville. '"Tain't one chance in a million that a coun try boy coing Into tbe city can marry his em ployer's beautiful daughter," he said to his chums, who were surprised to see him back so eoon. BORROWING TROUBLE. "Two Allegheny street car conductors were comparing notes on Penn avenuo while they waited for the signal to start. "Say, Bill, did you read about that woman out West who has been sick five years and bas learned five languages and VolapukT" "No; what about it?" "O, nothing; only I was wondering what her old man would do .supposing she should ever get better." TALKIN' AND SWEARIN'. ATOST old-time residents of Mississippi have known, or at least heard of. Judge Thrasher, of Port Gibson, who died a number of years ago. He was an eccentric old man, strong in his dislikes and prejudices, and much given to taking revenge for real or fancied slights and injuries. A young member of Clai borne county bar, named Drake, whom the Judge secretly disliked, bad brought an action for a client, to sustain which he relied entirely upon tbe testimony of the old gentleman. "Judge Thrasher," said Drake when the cause hadbecn'called for trial and the witness sworn, "Please go on and tell the court ana jury what you know of this case." Tho Judge complied.. but had not talked two minutes in his peculiar drawling tone, before it became apparent tj everybody that the plaintiff had no cause of action; indeed the testimony was manifestly in favor of the defendant. "Judge Thrasher," intcrrnpted the lawyer, as soon as he had recovered somewhat from his amazement, "Don't you remember having a conversation with me some three months ago, touching your knowledge of tbe transaction in question?" "I do. Mr. Drake." was the response. "Dian't you tell me" and the indignant at torney went on to state the testimony be had expected tho Judge to give. "I know I did, Mr. Drake. 1 was a talkin' then, but I'm a swearin' now." NO DONATION. U e was a rural preacher, with a salary of 500 a year, and what charitable people wore disposed to give him in tbe shape of voluntary donations. Thin? Yes, indeed, he was. Tbln as a rail. His wife had patched, darned and turned tbe children's clothes until there was little left either of the warp or the woof. Deacon Skinflint didn't believo'in donations at all, so he never gave anything. It was the principle of the thing he objected to, be said. Some folks thought, however, that that wasn't the principal thing. He managed one day to leave the door of his soul ajar. Of course it was an accident. Said be to tbe minister: "S&v, dominie, there's lots of fallin' apples in the orchard. If you bad a basket you inout take some of them to bum. The hogs will git 'em ennyhow, if you don't. You mont just a3 well hev some. Of courso apples is good for hogs, but the Lord loves a cheerful giver, so I guess you mout hev some if you bad a basket Pity yon didn't bring one." The ungrateful preacher said he didn't keep any bogs, so didn't want any apples. And that is how he lost the donation. WAS NOT SLANDER. (""olonel Blatherton sued Ambrose Bush for slander. Busb was arrested and was ar raigned before court. "I should like to know upon what this charge is based," said the prisoner. "Yon declared in the hearing of a number ot gentlemen," the Judge answered, "that the Colonel drinks like a fish, when we all know that he was never intoxicated." 'That's all rlghL Judge. Neither was a fish ever intoxicated. I said tbat ho drank like a fish, it is true, but what does a fish d.rink? Does a fish drink water or liquor? If a fish drinKs water the Colonel, being a water drinker, drinks like a fish." The Judge scratched bis head and replied: "There is a slander bidden somewhere about this affair, but I suppose we'll have to let you go." t. INCONSISTENCY. ""VTas, sah; hit do beat my time." "What's tho matter, old man?" "Boss, does you see dem niggers gwine long do road out dart Dem byperlutia' ornery coons is gwine to chn'cb." "Well, what abont it?" "Hits jes' dls way Dem niggers ll wuk ont'n ne harves' flel' in er July sun all de week wldout enny bat. Den w'en Sunday come dey'll h'ist er 52 umbreller over er 60 ce nt suit uv clothes. Dat's whut mek me say w'ut I does." SMALL SCHOOL DESKS. Milwaukee Movlnc In tbo Mutter of Belter Fnclllt'o for Pupils. From the Milwaukee Wisconsin. The Pittsburg Dispatch publishes inter views with teachers in the public schools of that city, who relate numerous instances tbat have come within their observation of children be coming deformed through having to sit for hours at desks that were too small for them. Not long ago the Common Council of Milwau kee adopted a resolution instructing the Health Commlsioncr to investigate the condition to which public school pupils are subjected with respect to the preservation of their eyesight. It miglft be well to have tbe benefit of profes sional opinion as to whether the desks and seats ip the different public schools are as perfectly adapted as they should be to the physical needs of the' growing boys and girls who occupy them. A REMARKABLE WOMAN. She Joins Church nml Is Baptized When 1 13 Yrars Old. Greenville, Ala., September 19. Few well authenticated cases of extreme old age are found that compare with that of Mother Bennett, who lives near Greenville, and whose age. by that best of witnesses, the familv Bible, is 115 years. She lid not unite with any church until in her 112th year, and was then immersed accord ing t Baptist rites by a young minister scarcely 22 years of age. Still vigorous in mind and body she resides with one of her grandchildren, and two 8undays in every month walks three miles to church, following the hymns without the aid of glasses. DEATHS OF A DAY, Air. Pbilopena Eon, Mrs. Pbilopena Buss, widow of Tm. Bass, an old and respected resident of Pittsburg, died yes terday at the residence of ber son-in-law. John Kesslcr. at Kdgewood, In the 90th year of her aze. The funeral will take place Sunday afternoon at 2:30 o'clock. JEEE OBGAH RECITALS. A Chance for You to Exorcaa Yonr Opinion ntlbo Exposition. ' During tbe past few days considerable dis cussion has necn Indulged in concerning tbe maintenance of an organist by the City of Alle gheny. The free recitals in Carnegie Hall have undoubtedly been appreciated, and In order to test public opinion The Dispatch has decided to take a ballot .on tbe question at its head quarters in the Exposition, located in the Brunswick-Balke-Collender Billiard Company's space. To-night visitors are asked to vote on the following topic: Shonld the Free Organ Recitals in Carnegie Hall, Allegheny, be Kept Up? Open to Lady and Gentlemen Voters. Tho Poll Book will open and close with the Exposition each morning and evening. Next week's voting topics and prize essay contest will be announced in the Sunday issue of The Dispatch. STATE POLITICAL NOTES. Philadelphia Press (Rep.): Farmer Pat tison is the only agriculturist In Pennsylvania who ever got up in the Grange meeting and asked whether ha shonld bury a rooster or a hen in order to talse eggplants. New York World (Dem.): Pennsylvania Republicans are of tho opinion that when Sen ator Ingalls can take 600 for making a speech on Pennsylvania politics without referring to Pennsylvania politics he is in no immediate need ot a nerve tonic Harrisburo Patriot (Dem.): Candidate Delamater, it will be noticed, doesn't under take to explain to the wor&Ingmen why the bills introduced in their interest were throttled by his "model Legislature." The dignity of his silence in this matter is something wonderful. Brownsville Clipper (Rep.): Senator In galls' speech at Pittsburg Saturday night was very able, and undoubtedly done much good. Tho Allegheny Republicans should work hard from now until election for Delamater and the rest of the ticket. They have everything to gain by keeping up the usual majority in the county. Kittanninq Sentinel (Dem.): Senator In galls in his speech in Pittsburg on Saturday night said the "marvelous development of the country for tho last SO years was directly trace able to the wise policy of the Republican party.." He forgot to notice, however, that a few more such years of similar development, would make the majority of our famers pau pers. Philadelphia Ledger (Rep.): Bucks coun ty intends to treat tbe candidates for Governor with strict impartiality. Ex-Governor Paul son was given two big apples at tbe County Fair yesterday, and two of tbe samo kind bave been reserved for Senator Delamater. There will be disappointment In the Democratic camp, however, if Bucks county should divide its votes in that fashion. Sharon Eagle (Rep.): For pure unadult erated gall the Beaver-Butler few who are at tempting to organize a bolt ou tho Congres sional candidate In this district jtakes tbe cake, in dictating a date to tbe Republicans of Mer cer and Lawrence counties when they shall elect delegates to the bolters' convention in Harmony next Tuesday. Mercer and Law rence counties are not in it. Tbe Republicans of these counties support tho regular nominees of the party. Harrisburo Independent (Rep.): It was said after tbe convention tbat George Wallace Delamater was a growing candidate. That every day of the canvass would add to bis popularity and strength. And tbe conditions to-day demonstrate tbe truth of this judgment. Every step in his canvass bis friends have been made to feel that bis was a winning name. His face makes him votes, because it is the face ot a strong, manly man, and out of it loots a noble and patriotic soul. STATE AID FOB PUBLIC ROADS. Good Thoroughfare! a Great Benefit to Every Town and City. From the Waynesbnrg Independent. The Pittsburg Dispatch is taking a vote of tbe visitors to tbe Exposition on tbe ques tion of State aid for public roads. Tbe record so far is favorable to the proposition of the Stato making appropriations for tbe construc tion and building of pubfic roads. The rural population, would, doubtless, be unanimously favorable to this idea, but the city folks who are heavily taxed for street purposes would hardly care to aid the country people in build ing their roads. But good roads throughout a connty are a great benefit to every town and city as well as tbe rural resident OLD FISHERMEN STOPE1SED. An Enormous Petrified FUli Taken From tbe Kentucky River. Versailles, Ky., September 19. A petri fied fish of antediluvian species was found in some shallow water in tbe Kentucky river near here yesterday afternoon by some boys who were fishing. The stone fish, for such it was, is about three feet in length and weighs over 40 pounds. It Is of a bluish color, almost perfect in form, and looks nearly as natural as life. It could be called tbe mummy ot a catfish, except that it has what seems to be perfectly formed scales all over its body. Old resident fishermen at the river say they never saw anything like it before, and think tbe petrified fish to be a species of a defunct tribe, and it bas doubtless been lying at tbe river bottom for a century oi more. KLLGOBE'S KICK. Cleveland Plaindealer (Dom.): It was a magnificent kick. A kick to be recorded in history and celebrated in song and story. Buffalo Express (Rep.): It is time to read the riot act in Congress. Tho lawless Demo cratic Representatives have got along to the point of kicking down doors. Philadelphia Ledger (Rep.): Speaker Reed's next move to hold a quorum, the doors not being strong enough, will probably be to chain the Democratic mombets to their desks. New York World (Dem.): Speaker Reed carries his dictatorship too far when he at tempts to coop up Democratic members by force to count tbem in making a quorum to en able his side of the House to steal seats. If tbe majority desires to do this tort of "busi ness" let it be compelled to make its own quorums. New York Herald (Dem.): Representative Kilgore boldly defied the authority of Speaker Reed yesterday by kicking open a door which the Speaker had ordered locked to keep tbe members in. Tbis reckless Texan apparently forgot tbat the dictator has a right to lock up tbe House and Imprison tbe representatives of tbe people whenever he chooses. Philadelphia -Record (Dem.): It was a startling and discreditable scene to be wit nessed in the council chamber of a free people; bnt the discredit and responsibility must rest on tbe high-handed majority, who, without claim of authority in law or precedent, deliber ately attempted to apply penal methods to tho minority, thereby putting their manhood to the test to which It responded so bravely. Baltimore American (Ind.): Representa tive Kilgore, of Texas, added to bis malodor ous reputation in tbe House yesterday by kick ing open a door which was locked by order. Then, followed by other DemocratJ, he marched out, thereby breaking the quorum and keeping the House from proceeding with its work. Per haps it would be well for the Democrats to pause in their criticising long enough to disci pline a few of their own members. Baltimore .0erafd.(Kep.): Tho scene in the House of .Representatives yesterday after noon when Kilgore, tbe Texas Terror, broke down tbe door to make way for tbe escaping members was as lively as any tbat eter oc curred at "Fmnegan's Wake." The unfortu nate circumstance or Mr. Dingley, of Maine, having bis proboscis sbivered into sundry frag ments, added to tbe stampede of a small gang of lawmakers from the legislative hall, consti tuted a spectacle tbat was neither creditable por edifying. Philadelphia Press (Rep.): The door breaking of yesterday is a piece of rowdyism which would disgrace a ward convention. The House has a right to protoct Itself from tbe ruffllanlsm of a disgruntled minority, and to keep its members in tbo chamber where their presence is essential to thecouduot of business, evenfif it becomes necessary to substitute stout oak doors for the baize affairs which now serve in that capacity, and obtain a corps of six-foot Herculeses for d&orkeeperg and deputy ser geants; at arms. . . SNAP SH0TSJN SEASON. Fancy is a child of tbe brain, and its cloth-" ing only costs thought. The noiseless electric car is on duty. When it moves, the wheels and the fare register make all the noise. The incessant whirr and fizz, which bas caused people living on the line to imagine they had a bee in their bonnets, has been banished. Like nearly all strides forward in the perfection of a good thing, tbe noise has been banished in a simple manner. It came from tbo gearing and tbe armature. These have been enclosed in an air-tight compart ment filled with a lubricant and other sound deadening stuff, so arranged as not to Interfere with tbe machinery. Tbis is 'how Mr. Wcst inghouse has solved the problem. Tbe car can be seen on the Pleasant Valley route. When all the coaches are robbed of their clatter the livers on the line will be freed from tbe nolso which has caused so much annoyance. The "Red Robin" was raided by the police yesterday. Readers have read about robbing these, of course. Some of our cotemporarles speak ot the Citadel at Montreal. If tbey keep on they will transfer the Plains of Abraham to Niagara Falls. Bibles come in all In sizes, colors and covers. The gilt-edged, morocco-bound, gold-clasped article does not contain any more truth than tbo meanest paper-covered one, and as a gen eral thing is not fingered so much. Beauty Is only skin deep everything else equal, of course. According to Mind-reader Johnstone we bave six senses, instead of five. Add common sense, and we have seven. A Penn avenue worjan was kissed by a horse the other day. It was a case of beauty' and tho beast. It's better to be kissed by a noble eqnlne than a two-legged jackass, girls. An actress bas been photographed in a coffin. They are usually photographed with nothing around them to speak of. Would-be financiers talk loosely about the tightness of the money market. Make Mother Earth the storage battery for all the deadly currents overhead. Ground the wires and let ns see the sky without looking through a network of death-dealing lines. WnEN the leaves begin to turn the out-of-towns follow their example. Boys will be boys until they are taught bet ter. Policemen will make a recount in New York. As many of tbem see donblo most of the time, the figures will undoubtedly overtop Porter's footings. Maud Hein, the third victim of a father's deed of blood, died yesterday. It is hardly necessary lo state that It was a heinous crime. M. Uojipers has a very level head. He says it takes dollars to carry on strikes nowadays. Wind and empty envelopes on pay day cannot win against well-fed, well-guarded gangs and the dollars of the masters. Mr. Miller, nominated for Governor by the Prohibitionists, declines to bold the noz zle ot tbe cold water hose. Ho prefers to stick to the Standard pipe lino. Look at your rare old coins. The Kannck comackers have been fooling thee. Where was Pittsburg when the shots were fired at the armor plates on the Annapolis test ing grounds day before yesterday? Gird on your armor, ye steelmakers. Don't let foreign ers steal a march on you. , Stable stars are found in the heavens as well as in the paddocks at the race courses. Polishes shirt fronts do not indicate the polished gentleman. Toby or not toby is tbe soliloquy of the man who is on tbe ragged edee about quitting tbe use of Pittsburg's favorite brand. After Delamater sizes up the lay of the land more fully be may change his mind and write a letter of declination. The timepieces are life's score cards. Every tick shortens tbe game. It is about settled that King Bob Kennedy will never do it again. The lazy fellows who prefer begging to work ing are called "macers." They shonld be clubbed or put in a chain gang. The poor lads driven crazy by cigarettes do not bave very far to go. They never will be missed. If Speaker Reed had lost his head and hurled his gavel at Kilgore during the door-kicking scene, it would have added more spice to Thurs day's House proceedings. THE wrecks thrown up on the pavements by politics about equal the ruin's found in the gut ter through rum. When horses say neigh they don't mean it The suggestion made by The Dispatch several mouths ago tbat the granting of liquor licenses be relegated to a commission Is sec onded in Philadelphia. Keep the ball rolling, brothers. After the Judges are relieved of this class of work transfer the clothesline and bat tery litigation to the magistrates and aud to the dignity of Justice. The blind goddess should not be asked to trail her skirts in tho mire. s Straw hats at this season ot the year tell tbe condition of the wearer's pocketbook. When tbe mind manders it can be brought back by a happy thought. The baseball with whiskers on it will soon have to be measured for an overcoat, Ir Congress adjourns before Thanksgiving the nation should offer up most fervent prayers. ' Don't forget the spike which shall nail the first campaign lie, gentlemen. Clinch It with the tack of truth. Brainy men relish noedla soup. If the modern girl wonld devote some of her spare moments to the study of dressmaking, she would be surprised at the low cost of her attire. Every mother's daughter could dress well and cheaply if she cultivated tbe sewing art. It's needless to say more on this point. The ambitious New York mother who re fused to permit her daughter to marry the poor man of her choice, will not find much con solation in the ballet-pierced corpse of her child. The public can easily seo through the win. dow-glass combine. Society women like new wrinkles in dress, but not in tho face. A green baize door locked in tbe face of a Texas steer acts the same as a red rag flaunted under the nose of a bnlL It maddens tbem. Sneaker Reed shonld try barbed wire bars in tbo House. Kilgore could kick against tbe pricks then to bis heart's content. It costs money to give a theater party. Counterfeiters stake their liberty on the turn of a die. Speculators wbo corner food should be starved ont. September took a fresh start yesterday. Even dyspeptics relished their meals and growlers smiled. "Wonderful what effect a bright, cool day has on the race. When nature Is benign humanity seems happier, even it ft Isn't. The light of Republlcinlsm Is ontshining the glitter of the throne-room in Portugal. Tbe people are tiring of their toys. Don't count the potatoes in a hill until yon uncover them. Willie Winkle. OUR MAIL POUCH. Tie Candidate nnd the Worklngmcn. To the Editor ofThe Dispatch: In your issue of the 18th inst. some one call ing himself "Mail Boy'' asks what to me seems some very foolish question?. "How many votes do yon suppose Delamater got. or did he get any, by his lobbying around the mills of our city?" He predicts the answer in the end of his com munication, at which timo we shall certainly see proot of his prognostications. But he says it is beneath the dignity of any candidate for such a position to go around tho country so liciting votes. Does he mean to intimate tbat it is degradin; to a gentleman seeking office to pass through our mills and shake hands with those hard-fisted bread-winners, whose votes must count for or against him. If so. then let these candidates bob around only in the parlors of the rich employers, who wield such a power ful influence over tbd thousands of working men so afraid of the bosses. How many votes docs "Mail Boy" think such buncombe as this will make? Such talk as tbis of tbe influence of the bosses and fear ot the men. is, in my opinion, nonsensical. I have worked under one firm in our city for nearly 20 years, and as yet havo never seen any political influence exerted in the least, nor do I- believe there is a firm of any standing wbo would stoop so low. Every man has a right to his own opinion, but we as citizens shonld ever remember that cur opinions are only worth the amount of reason we hive for giving them. As history often repeats itfclf, "Mail Boy" shonld be care ful how he speaks of the working voters of our good old State, or some fine day he too may be coming bowing and scraping around these trembling slaves, when be might be gently told to go quietly home and await the retnrn or the Old Hickory days. Delamater Man. Pittsburg, September 19. Diplomas for Ulanlclnnt. To the Editor or The Dispatch: An articlo in The DiSTATcn, under the cap tion of "Diplomas Wanted," and relating to tbe general inferiority ' of the average music teacher, is unquestionably correct, so far as it goes, except in ono particular the efficacy of the diploma as a guarantee of efficiency in tbe individual possessing it. Bnt a short time since I was invited to listen to the performance of a supposed virtuoso, with a fully equipped diploma to back her claims; butalasl what a disappointment! Whilelgazed at tbe diploma I listened to a performer whose miserable manipulation of the keyboard simply beggars description. Whetherthe piece played was Wagner or Beethoven, it began and ended Invariably fortissimo. With such controverting evidence as this (and there are many other sim ilar cases), can tbe diploma be estimated as a safe criterion? 1 think not. Again. It is true, as Rohbock has well said, that some teachers cannot possibly impart the correcc idea in music to their pupils, because the former lack inspiration, but he should bave gone further, and said that neither can tbe pupil give a proper rendition of music, for the same reason, that is, in a majority of cases. He is correct In saying music comes from heaven. It Is, It must be. througb the medium of insoiration, or no proper conception of the ideal can ever be arrived at. Tbe composer is a passionate Individual, easily swayed by the direct influences of his surroundings. These influences are. while not always, generally Invisible and inaudible. They imbed themselves in tho heart and sonl. and are thence translated through tbe medium ot the fingers, for interpretation, nnfolding to the ear the vision or feeling as it has been photo graphed upon the heart. Tbis sensation is in spiration, and without tbis acquisition, music, strictly speakinc, conveys no intelligent ideas. I would to heaven tbat more musicians (?) could really feel what they played. C. A. R. Pittsburg, September 1. Conllnenttl Currency. To the Edltoiol The Dispatch: Will you be so kind as to -let me know the value of two old bills one is authorized by res olution of Congress at Philadelphia September 26. 1778: face value J00. The other by resolu tion of Congress January 14. 1779. $65. Orrville. O., September 19. B. Dealers in such relics sell them for 8 to 13 cents each. Probably tbey wonld pay for tbem a little more than the value of the old paper in the bil's. Strange as it may appear, Continen tal money is by no means rare. A Qaettlon ot Number. To tbe Editor or The Dispatch: Will yon kindly state In to-morrnw's issue ot The DlSPATOH.wnlch of the two following sen tences is correct: None of the references were wrong, or none of tbe references was wrong. H.M.C Pittsburg, September 19. None is equivalent to no one or not one and shonld be followed by a singular verb. "Not one of the references was wrong" would bo more elegant. Roys rtc'n Not a. Partner. To the Editor of The Dispatch: My attention was called to an article In yes terday's issue concerning the arrest of Dr. Dewey for practicing medicine without being registered, in which I was represented as being a partner of his. I am not and never was a partner of Dr. Dewey's, and bave no interest in his business. I am a duly registered physi cian, and bave been since the registration act came into force. Yoa will please make this correction and oblige. N. Penrose, M. D. Allegheny, September 19. Ah to Ice-JInUinir. To the Editor of The Dispatch: Be kind enougb to let me know if there Is an ice manufactory in Pittsburg. If so, give me the address nf it. S. M. L. East Liverpool, September 18. There are several. One is located at the Allegheny County Workhouse, Claremont, Pa. As the private concerns do not advertise they cannot bo located without a waste of time. It Hns Never Been Selected. To the Editor orThe-Dlspatcb: I find a disparity of opinion as to whether the national flower has been selected or not. If you are In possession of information please an swer through the columns nt your paper this week. If tbe choice bas been mtde please state bow it was decided. Sharpsburo, September 19. F. W. B. Leitoni In Wood Engrnvlng-. Where can one learn wood engraving? Mnst be go to school or sorve bis time as an ap prentice? Constant Reader. Sharon, September 19. It is not taught in the schools. Apply to a wood engraver. To E. n. P.. Brownfl.-Id. The best way to find out what system is taught in tbe shorthand school mentioned is to write to the principal and ask him. A FACT. The drug clerk was slttlnsin slumber and clothes. When a stranger came intone waited on: A prescription bn handed to him of tbe doze, With a result that he ne'er calculated on. The squill brewer stared at the paper he read. As a child at a novel Invention: The first Item called, and he scratched athls head. For a half ounce of "tlnctsre of gentian." But thenext was something he'd ne'er seen before, So he went to his boss and he banea Mm. ' Tray tell me, oh master, have we now In the store. Such a thing as 'Infusion ejusdem?' "Tincture of gentian, infusion ejnsdem Half ounce or the tormer to six of the next," The "boss" was cafuzzled, the doctors, be cussed 'em. And he and his clerk were both sadly preplexed. Tbeathe "boss" told the purchaser, "sorry in deed. But we're out of Mnruslon ejnsdem, If you'll call in the morning, we'll look to yonr need And we thank you, kind sir, for yonr custom." Then the clerk sailed away with intelligent lufl; On a tack for "Infusion cjnsuem;" Not a druRBls; he found that hadheardof the stun, With confusion, th' infusion befuzzed 'em. Then he wended his way to his boss and the store. And the pharra.icopU was studied: Nota bit or ejusdein" was hid In Its lore. And the minds of the twain became muddled. While In fearful dilemma the customer came And demanded his hard-to-flx mixture: "Good morning," said he, who was "out" of the same, "I am sorry to saT we can't fix yer. "We've asked every druggist and clerk In the town For this wondrous 'Infusion ejnsdem, But nary a 'nlllcr.' for paper or siller Can produce it, tho' shelves they have mussed em," "WelL this is amnilnjr," qnoth he or the bay, And he laughed his snspenders to bust 'em; "You're a ueamirul lot, thus the public to icuy, With your blasted -Infusion ejusdein. "Infusion ejusdem's a tea of the same. Of that same' you have plenty, 'tis gentian. Tbe law would do well If for you ihe'd prescribe An Infusion ot Latin declension." Sett Tort fiun. CDEI0US C0NDENSATI05S. From nine peach trees in Orange, Cal., 5,125 pounds were picked. Bees stnng four horses to death at May field, Mich., a few days ago. Four Norwegian vessels have arrived in New York with 4,000 tons of ice. A snake cucumber was plucked in Los Angeles that measured seven feet. Owing to the heavy rains corn was gathered in the Mobawk Valley, N. Y., Sun day, in boats. A negro at Perry, Ga., Is said to weigh 500 pounds and to hare gained 100 pounds within a year. A Macomb county, Mich., farmer has harvested C04 bnshels of good oats from 13 acres ot ground. Henry Fantoine and Charles Kleiber, of West Bay City. Mich., go to jail for 20 days for stealing a ham. A Kentucky widower has jnst married his serenth wife. He is S3 and his new wife over ou years oi age. The Saginay TJnion Street Hallway f nrnlshes policemen and firemen with tickets at a cost of 1 cent per ride. Three Tampa, Fla., hunters in two days' bunting killed two deer, four turkeys and 100 each of quail and squirrels. A rattlesnake died in ten minutes after biting a colored man at Lumpkin, Ga. The man suffered no serious results. A colored man living in "Worth county, Ga., Is tbe owner of a little red steer that re cently trotted 22 miles in four hours bitched to a cart. A man stood on a street corner in New York on Tuesday and offered to bet $500 to a cent tbat "behind the clouds tbe son is still shin ing." lie bad no takers. Captain Holmes, of Mystic, Conn., wbo bas just returned from bis sixteenth voyage around Cape Horn, believes he bas made the trip oltcner than any other living person. Frank Eibner, of Hillsdale county, Mich., placed his pocketbook. containing S3, on stump while he felled a tree, and a cow come along and gobbled money, pocketbook and all. Tbe total imports of bananas at New York during tbe year 1SS9 aggregated 3,636,593 bunches, to which Jamaica contributed about one-third, or L316,0G2, while Colon sent 216.523. A Yankee has invented a chicken nob bier, consisting of a spring attached to a hen's leg, which, when the hen attempts to scratch, will more her onward, and will, in fact, walk her right out of the garden. The income- derived by French people who rear fowls, according to official returns, is S37,100,000 francs, of which 153,500,000 francs represent the value of the flesh and 183,600,000 francs that of tbe eggs. An Augusta man spent a good part of a night in tbe pasture with a lantern hunting after his cow, in company with neighbors who joined in the search, when tbe cow was in the stable, where she had been all day. . L. G. Gregory, a journeyman jeweler in Coldwater, has built an engine with a boiler half an inch bigb, piston with an eight-Inch stroke and balance wheel a quarter inch in di ameter. It weighs four pennyweights. William Hitt, of St. Joseph, Mo., was advised to take a sponge bath in alcohol and dry himself with artificial heat to cure rheu matism. He took tbe bath and stood by a stove. Tbe alcohol took fire and Hitt will probably die. Some of the advertisements in the ele vated cars in New York aro funnier tban was intended. One reads, "Kockroaches Killed Kontlnually" (this is intended to be facetious): then it gravely adds, "Water-bugs, rats and mice tor sale everywhere." Two brothers named Kennedy, residing at Eureka Flat, Wash., tied 19-year-old John Clinton's hands and feet, and then tied tbe end of tbe rope to tbe tail of an unruly horse and started the animal on a mad run. Alter going about a quarter of a mile the rope slipped from the animal's tall and Clinton will live. Belle Kiver, a little village 12 miles east of Windsor, Ont.. Is in a state of great ex citement over the discovery of natural gas. Men were boring for water on EliTrudeau's property, and at a depth of 85 feet a gas rein was struck. The boring machinery was blown to pieces, and when the gas was lighted the flame shot np 50 feet. An Adrian doctor says that down in Palmyra, county Lenawee, resides a family of seven. Every Monday regular a COC-ponnd hog is butchered and by tbe following Sunday the hog has been eaten up. Besides all tbis there is the usual quota ot beef and other meats dis posed of during tbe week, wbicn is about 45 pounds of raw hog to each person. Evidently the days of big nuggets in Australia are not yet over. By the last mails from Perth comes the statement that "five men arrived from Shaw Falls. Nullagine (a western Australian gold field), bringing with them 460 ounces of gold and a big nugget weighing S53 ouaces 9 pennyweights." It is described as "a very maaaite and handsome nugget." Tbe Buffalo Christian Advocate tells of a member of a church who is taxed for 150,000 worth of city property.and who is undoubtedly worth a quarter of a million, who gives an nually to all the benevolent interests of the church tbe paltry sum of Si. He told bis pas tor as be gave it to bim to divide it among the several objects, mission, church extension, freedmen's aid, Bible societ, etc., etc. Tbe Sidney, O., public school senior class wero all expelled tbis year just a short time before the close of the schools. All of the members of tbe class had prepared their gradu ating essays, and as the school board refused to reinstate tbem tbey hired a hall, charged 25 cents admission and had a commencement of their own. The citizens of Sidney admired the spunk displayed by tbe class and patronized them so well that it netted each one a neat sum, and the entire class took a trip to Niagara Falls with the proceeds. Doleful reports are received from Dakota. A dispatch, dated Ellendale, N. D.. September 8, says: "This country bas reached a point where it cannot Invite immigration, cannot retain what settlers it has. and must become hopelessly bankrupt unless a system of irrigation be adopted or some means be found to insure crops or give the people profitable employment. Charity was accepted in special cases last winter; it will have to be bestowed mncli more generally next winter." But very little rain has fallen daring the last two years, and thousands of farmers bave been ruined. They are getting out of the Stato as fast as possible. " AMONG THE HUMORIST-?. Scribbler I've just published another novel, Johnson. You ought to lose no time read ingit. Johnson Thanks for the hint, old man. I'll be careful not to read it. West Shore. "What makes you look so glum, old man?" "iiy wife went to Europe" "Well, tbat leaves you to bsve a good old time, doesn't it?" "Sne left ber mother to kiep bouse forme." West Shore. "Any news, Zeke?" "Sawtbin' special: they're tryln' toitopttie sale ot cocktails at tbe Capitol. Gor-eel whit'll Congress dew?" "Dry up, perhaps. "-Harper's Satar. E'meline Mamma, I think young Mr, Percy Is coming to-night to ask me to marry Win. Mamma Well, my child. Mr. Percy seems to be a very nice younff man, and I hope you will act solely as your heart dictates. Emeline-Yoa may be assured of that. I'm bound that tbat detestable Jenkins girl shall not catch him.-ytto Xork Wukly, "I hope I don't intrude, dear," said a young wife. "Can I assist yon?" "Well, voa know I am Immersed in stndy: but, never mind, as yon have come, you will oblige me by looking up 'Hamlet' In that big volume yon der. I want a reference." AVlfc (tnrnlne over the leaves) Hamlet! Hamlet lsu't here, love. Good trraclous! wherever are you looking?" Wlfe-(sligntly hurt)-Why, where do yo think? In the directory, of tonne. New Xork Weekly. Silversmith (proudly indicating a vase decorated with node human figures) There It one of the most beautifully chased pieces la oar place. Miss Prude Chaste I Pray what do yoa re gard as loui?-JewtUrs Watty. "What do you think of the idea for a new White House?" "I believe In It, and it ought to be refurnished, too. from the President to the frying pans." -Vets Xork Herald. "Hallo, Jim, how are you coming on with your new diet scheme?''' "Oh, I've quit. I was doing first rate until 1 came to that part of the book which says "never eat on an empty stomach, ' and (sorrowfully) I had to give up." American QnctT. ra.'&'t LiiMffl
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers