Pittsburg dispatch. (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, September 16, 1890, Page 4, Image 4

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THE PITTSBURG- DISPATCH, TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 16, 1890.
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ty B$pMj.
ESTABLISHED FEBRUARY 8. IMS.
Vol. 45, Ho. SI. Fjitcrw? at Pittsburg l'ostofflee,
JfoTember H, IsbT, as second-class matter.
Business Office Comer Smithfleld and
Diamond Streets.
News Eooms and Publishing House 75,
77 and 70 Diamond Street
EASTERN ADVERTISING OFFICE, KOOMa.
tiubu;e building, sew yokk. -where
complete files of THE DISl'ATCn can always be
iound. Foreign aavertlscrs appreciate tbe con
venience. Home advertisers and friends or THE
DISPATCH, -while in Xew York, are also made
v elcomc
THE DISPATCH is regular;; en sale a
Erentano's, 5 Union Square, Sew York, and
JTAre. de V Opera, Paris. France, where any.
one who hat been disappointed at a hotel
news stand can obtain it.
TERMS OF TIIE DISPATCH.
IVlfTAGE FKEE IN THE UKITED STATES.
DAILY DISPATCH, One Year. f SCO
Daily DisrATcn, 1'cr Quarter 2 00
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DAILY DisrATCU, Inclndlngbunday, lvesr. JCCO
Daily DisrATCU, lnclndinpbunday.Sm'ths. ISO
Daily DisrATCU, lncludlngSunday.liuonth SO
fcUfcDAY DisrATCU. One Year 150
Weekly Dispatch, One Year 125
a he Daily DisrATCU Is delivered by carriers at
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rtSPcent per week.
PITTSBURG. TUESDAY. SEPr. 1C. 1S90.
FOR ANOTHER GRAND JURY".
The re-opening of the bribery cases in
Beaver county was inevitable. The accused,
unless they were guilty, could hardly have
been content -with such a very thin coat of
whitewash as the grand jury cave
them. Judge HcMichael will have the
approval of all honorable men in ordering
the presentment of the indictments against
Attorney "Wallace and the three men he is
alleged to have bought to the nest grand
jury. In view of the prima facie case made
out against the men implicated in the dis
graceful proceedings at the congressional
convention, Judge McMicbaels had no
choice but to order as he did. The grand
jury at the December term may be relied
upon to investigate the wnole business
thoroughly. It is unfortunate that the
judicial inquiry cannot now take place till
after the election.
TOO MUCH OF ONE KIND.
The convention of Kansas Republicans,
in favor of resubmitting prohibition to a
popular vote, declared: "We believe that
too much legislation is a curse." They
would have hit the mark more clearly in the
center by adding: That too much legisla
tion that is not enforced is the curie of this
country.
The deliverance, of course, was intended
to bear upon the prohibitory law. There is
reason to suspect that if the Kansas prohib
itory law were not enforced, the resubmis
sionists would not be bothering about it.
But it is nevertheless the fact that the vice
of this nation in its efforts to reform corrupt
abuses, is the disposition to pass all sorts of
laws, and to leave them on the statute boots
dead letters.
This should be amended, not only for the
sake of giving good laws their full effect,
but also for the safeguard against the enact
ment of bad laws. Enforcement is the su
preme test of legislation. If a law is not
good, its enforcement will exhibit the fact
and be the promptest method of bringing
its repeal. Beyond that, a little experience
of having to repeal harmful laws would be
the surest safeguard against similar legisla
tion in the future.
On the other hand, the stupidity of pass
ing needed laws and letting them lapse into
a dead letter is so obvious that it should not
require argument to stop it. Yet it is one
of the public evils of the day. Wherever
law conflicts with some mighty interest,
either in finance or politics, it is found that
influence enough can be brought to have it
left ou the shelf unused, while the evils it
was intended to remedy go on unchecked.
TUE PROBLESI OF IRRIGATION.
Irrisation as a means for creating fertility
for the arid lands of the West is very gen
erally appreciated; although the majority of
people Lave not a full comprehension of the
vastness of the territory which can be thus
couveited from a desert to a fertile country.
But what is still more unlikely to be per
ceived is the vastness of the economic issues
involved in this method.
When we perceive that territory the size
of several States will depend on the irriga
tion ditches for crops, it is not hard to see
that those who control the water supply will
hold command ot the situation more coni--pletfly
than the railroads do the means of
getting the farmers' products to market. If
a railroad should attempt to shut off an
agricultural community from market, the
farmers can at least subsist on their crops
until relief comes. But those who control
the irrigation of arid lands can if it should
come to a trial of strength wipe out the
farms and crops altogether by withholding
the water urion any colorable pretext. It is a
perception of this terrible power that has in
spired the movement to have the Government
undertake the work of irrigation. But that
measure of State socialism has the objection
common to all propositions lor Government
railways and Government industries. It
would transfer the power from the corpora
tions to the politicians. Instead of creating
a financial oligarchy it would set up a polit
ical one. The power which a managing
politician could exert through the control
of the irrigation supply, to make farmers
dependent on it vote as be dictates, need not
be described. Tt is enough to say that it
-Mould be more absolute and far less intelli
gent than any rule of the corporation.
It is true, as generally recognized, that
corporations can conduct such enterprises
more economically than the Government, and
that capital will be ready to take hold of
the work as soon as it is shown to be profit
able. But in permitting corporate capital
to assume that function, we should see by our
experience of the railway system how easy
it will be to repeat the abuses of that system.
Indeed it will be possible to reproduce, in
slightly altered forms, all the evils which
legislation has been struggling with in the
present corporate system. Suppose at the
start that it takes $1,000,000 in irrigation
works to make 250,000 acres of land worth
$10 an acre. Then the charges necessary to
remunerate the capital engaged in irrigation
will take two-fifths ot the productive
value of the land. But if the
officers of the corporation should contract
with themselves to build the dams and dig
the ditches for 52,000,000 it would take two
thirds of the remaining value of the land to
pay the charges on the fictitious capital.
Thus at the very outset, the problem of
water in the capital, as well as water in the
ditches, comes up. The ease with which
the abuse of discrimination could be
beought into existence if not completely
guarded against, should also be borne in
mind, the ability to give water to the friends
of the corporation at one rate and to the
disfavored public at another, or the more
common and far-reaching abuse of favoring
V
the largest customers, could, more promptly
than the railroad evils, wipe out the small
farmers and concentrate wealth in the hands
of a favored few. The abundance of pre
texts on which a water supply could be
withheld from those not in favor with the
management, or diverted to others whose
interests were allied with those in power,
make it elear that the enterprise is one that
cannot be placed in any hands without
complete safeguards against the evils of
stock watering, discrimination, or partiality
in any shape.
FITT5B URU'S PI, ACE IN TIIE CENSUS
The arguments of the Hew York papers
nrging a recount of that city, should have
interest for Pittsburg as furnishing a criti
cism by which to judge of our claim that
the census does not give us the full popu
lation to which we are entitled.
The Xew York papers rely on their vital
statistics in connection with the school
enumeration and the vote, to prove that the
census is inadequate. The argument has a
good deal of force. By itself any single one
of these statistical indications wonld have
less authority than the census. But when
they all unite iu giving concurrent testimony
of an increase greater than that shown by
the census, the proof is strong- that the cen
sus has not included the full population.
The same loeic applies to Pittsburg. The
vote in elections of similar importance
close to 1880 and 1890; the enumeration
of school children; the number of names
in the directory at each period, together with
other and perhaps minor standards, are in
dicative of the increase of population.
Xeitber of them would alone be ground for
disputing the census. But if they should
all unite in showing an increase of say 75
per cent between 1880 and 1890 it would
afford a fair presumption that the increase
of 60 per cent given us by the census does
not tell the whole storv.
The matter is worthy the attention of citi
zens. Pittsburg has in the past been rated
below her true importance, simply because
her citizens hare not taken the trouble to
claim her proper position. An illustration
of the effect of that policy is furnished by
the cartoon in last week's Puck, which rep
resents the agents and boomers of various
cities, loudly calling attention to the mag
nitude of their communities, while New
York is asleep in a chair. The position of
Pittsburg in this illustration of the enter
prise of various cities is correctly described
by a slang phrase. She "is not in it."
Cities of a tbird our population aud a
quarter our industrial magnitude are there;
but Pittsburg, perhaps by the oversight of
the artist, and perhaps by the conservatism
of her people, does not appear in the picture,
either asleep or awake.
It is time for Pittsburgers to make up
their minds that they will claim for their
city the full credit of its population and in
dustrial importance. Personally we may
be bound by the limitations of modesty; but
with regard to the standing of our city,
modesty is not a requisite. As one of the
first steps toward securing Pittsburg the
position she is entitled to, we should decide
that if there is any reason to believe that we
have a population of 275,000 we will not
rest satisfied to be credited with only 240,000.
THE LAW ON STRIKES.
The latest developmcut in the Beaver
Falls Saw Works strike is somewhat start
ling. Judge Wickham granted yesterday,
at the request of the saw company, a tem
porary injunction against a hundred or
more of the strikers restraining them from
interfering with the non-union men em
ployed at the works. The in
junction was granted upon the
strength of affidavits presented by the
saw company's officers, describing sundry
acts of violence and coercion perpetrated by
the strikers and their sympathizers upon the
workmen hired to take the strikers' places.
The suit will be watched with great inter
as it is evident that a point at issue very
often in the conflicts of capital and labor is
to be decided. The violent interference of
strikers with so-called "scabs" has been de
clared illegal, but a broader injunction is
here sought to be obtained.
AN 13IPORTANT VISIT.
The visit of the British Iron and Steel
Institute to this city next month will appeal
:o the local pride of all our manufacturers.
Every sentiment of hospitality and interest
will insure that Pittsburg shall present her
industries in their best form.
The visitors are the great rivals of Pitts
burg in the iron and steel market. But the
rivalry is one which permits the warmest
friendship and the heartiest personal rela
tions, beyond that the visitors trill com
prise the greatest authorities on iron and
steel in the world. That makes the occasion
the best opportunity for extending the fame
ot our industries. If our resources, our
products or our methods impress the mem
bers of the institute favorably that impression
will extend to the capital and enterprise
embarked in similar industries tbe world
over.
There are possibilities of expanding our
industries and increasing the population of
Western Pennsylvania. Under the proof
lately brought out of our large reserves of
natural gas there is no reason why such a
visit should not be utilized to revive the
movement of European industries to this
point, which was checked by the belief that
the supply of natural gas is limited. If we
can show ample reserves of fuel and eligible
manufacturing sites, the visit may bear the
fruit of a cluster of new manufacturing su
burbs like Wilmerding, Jeannette and
Charleroi.
THE FIRST OF THE SEASON.
The fall season in pictures opens at
Gillespie's beautiful little gallery this week,
with a bright and pleasing collection of
paintings, exhibited by Mr. Collins of New
York. Mr. Collins is well known here,
having already brought some of the best
pictures which hang ou Pittsburg walls.
There are famous specimens by Corot,
Delacroix, Troyon and Detaille in his
present exhibit; also a couple of beautiful
heads by Plot.
The season is yet early for art sales, as
the best local buyers and judges of pictures
are for the most part not yet home from their
vacation; but later in the week they will be
arriving, and Mr. Collins cannot fail to do
well.
The declaration of the House that it will
not take the trouble to discuss the Senate
amendments seriatim, but will disagree tq,
them all, no matter what they are, is sweeping;
but it is the quickest way of getting down to
the real business of settling what the bill shall
be, in conference committee.
Novel iniormation about the new tariff
bill continues to come in from all parts ot the
country. IThe Alia California has learned
that "tbe iron and steel indnstry of New En
gland is destroyed by a tariff increase of Si 75
a ton on foundry iron: f orze Iron, $3 60 per ton:
scrap iron, 1 54 per ton; Bessemer iron, 85 50
per ton. If the csteemea Alta can designate
tbe sections in which these increases of tbo
tariff are made, Jt will demonstrate Itself to ba
in possession of exclusive and Important infor
mation. Had Mr. Ingalls deemed it advisable to
go into State Issues he wquld doubtless have
expressed his conviction that the purification
ot Pennsylvania politics is an irridessent
dream.
A correspondent excuses the very
slim Democratic vote against Congressman
Boutellein Maine by saying that bis opponent
was sick and not able to make a vigorous can
vats, judging by the absence of Democratic
voters from tho polls, sickness anions the
Maine Democrats must have been epidemic on
the day of the election. It certainly was the
day atter.
t
That frost did not come to time. In
view ot the lovely weathor of the past two
days, the Signal Service can rely on the public
pardon for its las: slip.
It appears to be a fact that Prince George
of Wales got into the Montreal lock-up; but
when we are asked to swallow tbo rest ot tbo
story about the way in which the scion ot roy
alty knocked out five roughs and put a sixth to
flight, with only one assistant, we are obliged
to giro more admiration to the loyal imagina
tion of the reporter than to the prowess of the
Prince.
The Grant monument design is on paper.
It pleases tbe people of New York so much
that they are still undecided whether they will
not keep it there.
The means of influencing Congressional
nominations in the Lawrence district excited
no surprise on the part of the Lawrence Qrand
Jury. What astonished tho jury was that any.
one had the hardihood to prosecute in a case
of acknowledged bribery; and for this auda
cious presnmption Doctor McKlnney was
socked with the costs.
PEOPLE IN GEHESAL.
Bishop Beckwith, of the Episcopal Church
in Georgia, is out in Minnesota hunting prairie
chickens.
Mr. Bangs, one of ex-President Cleveland's
law partners, says there is no truth in the re
port of tbe latter's intended removal to Massa
chusetts. R. 1). Bltjmesfield, late editor of the New
York Evening Telegram, sailed for England
Saturday to take charge of the London edition
of the Now York Herald.
The Lord Mayor ot London receives an al
lowance of $50,000 a year, but as his annual re
ception alone costs him $25,000 ho complains
tnat he is one of the poorest men in tbe town.
Major Jed Hotchkiss, of Staunton, has
accepted the invitation to deliver an address
before the Virginia Press Association, which
convenes in Richmond in October. His sub
ject will be "Virginia's Industrial Future."
William Lowehy, who died at Williams
burg, N. Y last week at tbe age of 81, was en
gineer of tbe first steam ferry boat built by old
Commodore Vanderbilt He afterwards en
tered tbe service of tbe Collins Steamship Lino.
Chabt.es W. BncnnoLZ, engineer of bridges
for tbe New York, Lake Erie and Western
Railroad, denies tbe story that tbe famous
Kinzua viaduct on that road is to be aban
doned. He says tbo structure is as safe and
strong as 90 per cent of the railroad bridges
now in use.
Bishop John J. Kain, of the Roman Catho
lic diocese, of Wheeling, W. Va has returned
from his visit to Europe. When he was at
Brindisl a little girl refused to believe that he
was a bishop because he had legs. Ho was not
clothed in bis cassock, and she bad never seen
a priest otherwise clad.
HOW DAVID FIGUEES IT.
What Mr. Kirk Says (be Standard Took
From Producers In Ope Month,
To the Editor of The Dispatch:
Since talking to your reporte: the September
report of production and consumption has
come to hand. This shows tho same state of
affairs.
Barrels.
Tho world needed and took rrom us
In tbo month of August 2.642.783
Weprodncedonly 2.0H.C02
Consumption over production. 127,791
For tbe same amount of oil tha
Standard and Joe Craig in Novem
ber last pairl producer $3,313,425 40
The Standard now, with Joe gone
pays .' 2,431.090 40
Difference $ 878,735 00
While she buys at this reduced price she
charges the world the same for the product.
Thus she steals from the producers in one
month SS78.735. DAVID KlEK.
Fittsbukg. September 15.
Iron nnd Steel Institute.
To the Editor ot The Dispatch:
I have been informed that there would be
held in yonr city some time in October a con
vention or mcoting of parties interested in tbe
iron and steel industry. Can you give me.
through The Dispatch, further information
of tbe affair? B.
Denver, September 1Z
The American Institute of Mining Engi
neers some months ago extended an invitation
to the Iron and Steel Institute of Great Britain
to hold its annual sessions simultaneously with
their own on this side and tbe sessions open in
Chlckenng Hall, New York, on the 29th of this
month, and the members of the British insti
tute will give their annual meetings on the 1st
of October. The first joint international ses
sion of both bodies will be held in Carnegie
Hall, in Alleeheny, on Friday, October 10. The
visitors will be here four days.
Cnn fet the Miles.
From the Philadelphia ltecord.l
Speaker Reed has vindicated bis right to
wear a sash or surcingle as he shall please, to
ornament his feet with russet shoes, and eke
to paint his face vermilion if his fancy runs
that way. He is a big Injun from Passama
quoddy. Cnnnnn'n Modo nf Fighting.
From the Kew York World.)
A thick-and-tbln Republican organ at tho
West says that Congressman Cannon "fought
the Democrats with fire." For fire road filth.
It will then not appear strange that "ho put
them to flight"
PENNSYLVANIA POLITICS.
Erie Dispatch (Rep.): One of the leading
issues ot the Stato campaign in Pennsylvania is
tho equalization of taxation, with a view of re
lieving real cstMa from the unjust burdens
which it now carries. Tho Republican plat
form is frank and outspoken upon this point,
and if elected Governor Mr. Delamater will do
everything in his power to assist in a proper ad
justment of local taxation.
Hakrisbukq Patriot (Dem.): If nine Dem
ocrats can be found in the State who will not
vote for Fattisou they should immediately get
together and form a baseDall club. As a curi
osity, they would be an immense drawing card.
Bradford Star (Rep.) : It is said that Dick
Quay Is very much lite his father, Matthew S.,
and that it is very likely that the mantle of hi;
father will fall upon him. We trust that this
does not mean that tho father will bequeath to
tbe son his seat in the Senate, after tbe Cam
eron plan, unless tbo result is prodnctlve of
more visible benefit to the Stato and the party.
Bradford Era (Ind.): Onr Republican
friends around Pittsburg and in some of tho
eastern portions ot tbe State are working for
Pattison with an enthusiasm that should en
courage every Democrat to put forth his best
efforts in behalf of the ticket everywhere and
all tbe time. If the Democracy is ever to win
again in this State, the coming election must
be the accepted season.
Philadelphia Press (Rep.): There Is noth
ing in the present situation to give the Repub
lican party any concern. With a majority ot
80,000 to Bhowlor its campaign of 1S33, and 00,
000 for that of last year, it is ridiculous for tbe
wildest dreamer to assume that it can bo beaten
now. It will move forward, entirely confident
of keeping Pennsylvania in line witb its recent
great majorities.
The Usee Problem Indefinitely Postponed.
Prom the Detroit Free Press.
The race problem was on the way to a solu
tion in Reading, Pa., when an untoward event
checked its progress. A young white girl of
that placo was lielovcd of two gentlemen of
color, and would undoubtedly have married
one of them as soon as bo could havo gotten
a divorce from his wife. Unfortunately a fierce
quarrel broke out between tbo two rivals, and
In the conflict one of them was slain. As tbe
other one goes to prison tbo girl is disconsolate.
ana tbe settlement oi tno race oirucMty is in
definitely postponed.
OUR SHORT STORIES.
WAS BENEVOLENT.
Tn ahswkr to a vigorous ring at tbo bell, a
woman went to the door, and addressing a
man who stood on the steps, asked: "Do you
wish to see anyonet"
"Yes. Does Dr. Bonesett live here?"
"Yes, but ho is not at home."
'When will be be in?"
"I can't tell: he's is Europe now."
"Well. I ewed him to and told him that I
wonld bring it round to-day."
"You may leave it with we and I will give it
to blm when he returns."
'No, I won't do that. I can't flirt with a man
that hasn't enough earnestness to stay at borne
and attend to bis business. I told him posi
tively that I sbonld ba here to-day. Now you
see what be has lost by his loose way of doing
business. By the way, would you mind giving
me a littlo something to eat? I have traveled
quite a distance to keep my appointment and
am somewhat hungry."
"Don't you think you had better take the 5
that you were going to give the doctor and buy
:
something to eatt"
"Madam, would yon counsel me to be an em
bezzler? I owe this money to the doctoa and
no power, not even that of hunger, can force
me to squander it, I supposed at first that you
were a Chnstlau woman but we will let that
pass. If you havo nothing to eat handy, madam,
would you mind letting me have a quarter?''
"No, I'm not engaged in charitable work."
"Ob, you are not. Well, you are one of tho
ladies I am looking for. Tho truth is, a cry has
gone up that tbe women of this city are not
charitable, and the newspapers are trying to
find out the names ot those who have so de
clared themselves. I do not need a quarter. I
do not owe tbe doctor a cent, but have come
here as a reporter. The twenty-five cent pieces
which I may collect aro to bo placed in the
hands of a benevolent committee. 1 do not
care to ask any further questions concerning
yourself. Any additional facts I may wish to
know with regard to you I can learn from tho
woman next door. Good day."
"Hold on," said the woman. "I am not op
posed to charitable work, aud tho newspapers
need not say so. Here is a quarter."
"I thank you, madam, and I -will see that your
name does not appear on tbe black list."
HOW IT IMPRESSED THEM.
'They stood on the American shore and gazed
in wonder-struck silence at tbe majesty
and beauty of Niagara, Tbe personification of
feminine grace and tenderness, she loaned
confidingly on the arm of her husband her
ideal of manly strength and chivalry. The
glowing sunbeams danced in tbe spray that
rose like fairy mountains before their eyes,
radiant .with tbe gorgeous hues of the rain
bow, and tbe falling waters sounded their
eternal monotone in tbe ears of the listeners,
whose bearts btat responsive to its deep
pulsations. Nature's own voice spoke to them
and stirred the profoundest depths of their
Delng.
The young husband pressed the little hand
that lay confidingly on his arm, and smiled on
tbe sweet face upturned to his.
"Gwendolen," he said, the rapture of his
emotions thrilling bis voice and shining out
through his dark eyes, "does it stack up to
your expectations?"
"Launcelot," and her eyes! seemed about to
overflow with excess of pent-up feeling "it's
just the cutest thing I ever struck!"
WASN'T QUITE READY.
T)urixo a revival in one of the Southern
States, the minister noticing that a young
fellow named Hank Boyd bad begun to sink
down under apparent conviction, approached,
him and asked, "How do you feel?"
"Oh, middlin'."
"Don't you feel that your Ufa has been sin
ful, and that it is time to tnrn from the certain
destruction that awaits yout"
"Yas. middlin'."
"Well, won't you come up now aud kneel
down at tbe altar?''
"No, don't believe I will right now."
"Bat now is the accepted time. How much
danger do you suppose your soul is in this very
mlnnto?"
"Middlin danger, I reckon."
"Come with me," the preacher urged, taking
hold of his arm.
""No. not right now. I'll see yon after a
while."
"Do not let anything stand between you and
the cross, my dear boy."
"Won't ef I kin hep it."
"Well, then, come along with me.'
"No, not right now."
"Don't you know that it is dangerous to
wait?"
"Yes, reckon that's middlin' lot of danger iu
it."
"Thon, for heaven's sake, come."
"No, I kain't till I do one thing. I've got to
whnp Abe Bender befo' I kero to profess re
ligion. After that's done I'll be on tho Lord's
side."
"Ob, you must not think of whipping him."
"Kain't ho'p it when ho has done me so
mean."
"What did ho do?"
"Wall, I war away f rum borne tuther day
off on tbe county road ten mile from a house,
an' I wanted a chaw terbacker wus'n a houn'
pup ever wanted a hunko' liver, an' I war pow
erful nigh dead an' war a slobberln' like a boss
catln' white clover. Just then 1 met Abe. I
axed blm fur a chaw, an' ho grinned at me, a
showin' a mouthful of long green, but 'lowed
he wouldn't give me none. I war too weak to
whup him then, but I'm pearter now, an' I
think I kin fetch him: an after I have tried,
w'y, I'll come Into yo' flock."
"My son," said the preacher, a? he bit off a
chew of long green, "I don't blame you, ana
moro than that, I'll help you whale him."
BOUND NOT TO GET LEFT.
J-Je bad come from the West to see Boston.
One evening a moment or two after leaving
his lodgings be was seen to tako a knife from
his pocket, cut a deep gash in a tree, and walk
on. He repeated this at intervals along tbo
street.
Cautions as bo seemed to think himself, his
mutilations bad not escaped "he notice of sev
eral citizens who felt a sort ot "woodman spare
that tree" veneration for tho tall maples.
"Say, mister," said a burly citizen, approach
ing tbe stranger, "don't you think you had bet
ter let them trees alone? Too early lor sap,
you know."
"I don't care for sap," was tbe reply.
"Then what in the deuce aro you driving at
with that toad-sticker?"
"Well, what do yer suppose? Here I've been
in this ere town three days and haven't been
able to find my way home once. I walked
around tbo Common three times last night, and
then Ihadter hire a cab. Why don't you
straighten your streets? But I don't mean to
get left to-night; I'll know this street when I
Strike it. I'll feel my way by those nicks m the
trees."
An bumble apology for tbe streets on the part
of the Bostonians followed. Finally a map of
Boston was presented to tho stranger on condi
tion that he would spare'tho trees.
NOTHIN' TER DO.
Why are the depot platforms crowded down
in this country?" asked a passenger of a
Memphis conductor on a southbound train that
was soeedinir along through the Ozark rozion
of lower Missouri.
"Ob. I don't know," responded the official,
"but the poople always turn out down here in
good shape every time tbe train goes by."
At a little place a 'few miles north of the Ar
kansas line the curious passenger got off and
addressed several of tliccliatives.
"What brings all these people down to the
Station?" he asked.
. "Tain't nothin'." was the response. "Jest
same as this every day. People ain't got nothin'
ter do down hyar 'cept hanl in er little cotton
an' watch th' keets go by."
"Bnt why do they put on their best clothes
and come down to tbe depot?"
"Notbin ter do, I told you."
"But how do they find the time to getaway?"
"From what?"
"Why, their business, of course."
"Lawd, man, how many more times'H I tell
yer that thar ain't nothin' ter do down hyar,"
Tbe train moved on through thJa modern
Utopia, leaving tho people standing on tho
platf oim with "nothin' ter do" but watch the
disappearing cars ana wait for the upbound
passenger.
Irish Americans.
From the Philadelphia Record. 1
The Democratic party is much indebted to
Ireland for some of its most redoubtable and
accomplished champions.. The Democratic
nominee for Governor of Minnesota, Thomas
Wilsdn, was born in Ireland in 1S27, He is a
man of great ability and of deserved dodu
j larity.
-
SHAKESPEARESJILL REIGNS.
Tvrelfih Jflgbt Admirably Played Mberln
Revived Ona ol the Finest Vnrlety
Phowsln I'lontv.
Tbe charm of such a performance as that
which graced the Grand Opera Honsa stage
last niebt can hardly be properly described.
In comparison with the usual production of
Shakespeare by traveling combinations it
is as a well-cat diamond to a
glass chip with a baoklng of
tin foil, or as a peaoh with the bloom upon it
besldo, a counterfeit presentment in worsted
or wax. "Twelfth Night," as Maria Wain
wrlgbt and her admirable assistants play it,
would delight tbo author as much, we do not
doubt, as it did a large audience at tbe Opera
Houso last night. It is a perfect piece of art
not only in tbe playing, but in tbe circum
stantial details of scenery, costumes and stage
management. This treatment of the play, of
course, is no more than it deserves, but, heaven
knows, more tban it receives in nine cases out
of ten. As a matter of fact, most Shake
spearean plays are produced as cheaply
and inadequately in those days as they
were In the Globe Theater or the Inns
of Court with the divine William
himself in the cast. Miss Wainwrigbt
and her managers deserve the gratitude of tbe,
public for tills practical and daring lnnova"
tion, for treating til? Shakespearean drama
with moro respect tban a brass monkey or a
wooden horse comedy from the pen of a nine
teenth century genius receives at tho hands of
a modern manager.
Perhaps no comedy of Sbakespeare bet
ter deserves sympathetic treatment; that J J,
gives bettor returns for pains spent upon it.
Witb "Much Ado About Nothing" and "As
You Like It," 'Twelfth Night" represents the
fruit of Shakespeare's golden summer. These
three comedies are tbe choicest gems of tbe
casket. Tbcv were all produced between tbe
years 159S and 1601. and 'Twelfth Night."
we think, is tbe most highly
wrought, tbe most thoroughly polished and
pointed of thethioe. Swinburne, speaking of
this era in Shakespeare's life, says: "To this
stage belongs tho special faculty of faultless,
joyous facile command upon each faculty re-
?uiredof the presiding genius for service or
or snort. It is in tbe middle period ot his
work that the language of Sbakespeare Is most
limped in its fullness, tbe style most pure, tbe
thought most transparent througn tuo close
and luminous raiment of perfect expression."
Shakespoare possibly played in 'Twelfth
Night" himself when it was given for "tho first
time on any stage in the hall of the Middio Tem
ple. We may be sure that he bad no such subtle
andpersuasive aids to theactor's art as the scene
painter, the costumer and tbe gas man fur
nished Miss Walnwrlght and her companions
last night. Tho bower of roses was probably
distinguished from the seaport and the
quay by moonlight positively. but
plainly and solely by a sign an
nouncing the fact. Perhaps tbe new screen ot
wood, curiously chased and carved, at tha
end of the lawyers' banquet hall was used as a
background, but not much else. Nor was the
audience which bad the glory and delight of
the first laugh at the humors of Sir Toby en
riched by tbe presence nf tha illustrious Eliza
beth and her court. No doubt the comedy
stirred in them the same feelings that respond
thereto in Pittsburg to-day.
To come back to facts and tbe present, the
Viola of Miss Wainwrigbt is a delicate and de
licious embodiment of one of tbe tenderest and
truest pictures of good women in Shakespeare's
gallery. Marie Wainwright's Viola is worthy
to be classea with the Hosalind of Miss Neil
son, the Portia of Ellen Terrv. Thore issome
thingot Hosalind in Viola's saucy self-congratulation
at Olivia's love, but on tha whole
Viola is more like Julia in "The Two Gentle
men of Verona" retouched with brighter
colors and placed in more poetical surround
ings. Tbe tenderness of Viola, her soft, loving
heart are admirably brought out by Miss
Wamwright, and the character serves, as it
snouiri, as a foil to tbe noisy mirth of Sir Toby,
Maria and the rest. She is a star of course, but
M1S3 Wainwrigbt does not attempt to o'ercloud
the brilliancy of her associates. That they are
abio to shine, and by right do shine,
makes up the artistic roundnes of
the performance. Every actor deserves to be
praised by name, but we must content our
selves with but a tithe of them. Tha "vellow-
legged stork" JUalvolio is very well played by
Mr. Barton Hill, and if there is a better Sir
Toby or could bo tban Mr. Owen's be has not
been revealed in this latitude. Miss Louise
Muldener is the perfection or the frolic
some below stairs, and Miss Blanche
Walsh should havo Deen montioned before
this as a graceful and spirited Olivia. Miss
Walsh's elocutionary powers are remarkable.
Mr. Backus, Percy Brooke, as Sir Andrew,
were exceedingly well cast, and no exception
cau be taken to tbo rest of the company which
seems to bo vory nearly tbe samo as last year in
its make-up. Tho newcomer. Mr. Granger, as
The Duke, is an improvement.
The scenery Is exquisite. Tbo garden scene
is particularly pretty, but it is all perfectly in
harmony with the play. Tbe costumes are
accurate and handsome, and the incidental
music not only does credit to the arranger,
Mr. Frank Hawson. out was played exceed
ingly well by Mr. Schwartz's orchestra, and
yet last night's was tbe first performance of
'Twelfth Night" this season.
Tbo Bilon Theater.
Bartley Campbell's "Siberia" is not a novelty
in Pittsburg, but its popularity does not appear
to diminish as time goes on. A large audience
laughed, wept and applauded over it at tho
Bijou last night. Mr. Maurice Drew as tho
hero, Nicolal ilagoff. was as manly and impres
sive as of yore, anil Mr. Charles E. Gottbold in
tbe rolo ot Ivan Nordoff, showed marked
ability aud great improvement in his
methods. Mrs. Frank Drew also deserves
praise. Sara, tho heroine of tbo play, cava
Miss Adelaide Fitz-AUen plenty of cbanco to
display her remarkable histrionic pow ers. She
cantured her audience at the first and stirred
their emotions continuously. Miss Fitz-AIlon's
progress in her art has been vory great. Miss
Hadcliffo and Miss Ulmcr did very well, and, in
iact, the company as a whole is very competent.
The scenery and appointments are first-class.
Academy of Jluslc.
It is extremely difficult for a manager to
"catch on" to something now in tho variety
business, but Harry Williams has a show this
week destined to play to crowded houses every
performance. Tho originality is duo to Sam
Jack, whose skillful, artistic band can be seen
all through tho diffierent "acts." Manager
Jack is trying to forget bis recent affliction in
the loss of his wife, who, it will be remembered,
died In this city last March, by hard work. Hu
first begins with the announcement that it is a
Creole Burlesnue Company, and there i3 not a
white man or woman iu it. Whero ho got such
n nnn,1ilnnttnn nf Aifnrnrlnt Inrl ctL'lllfrfl Anlnvail 1
men would be bard to imagine. Tbo perform
ance begins with tho Tropical Revelries,
introducing the whole company. Tho act is In
three editions and is a burlesque on a
first-class minstrel show. A feature worthy of
especial mention was a tableau a beautiful
Creole wrapped in flags of all nations bidden
behind a large gilt fan, that parted in the mid
dle and displayed tho subject, at the conclu
sion of each verse of a recitation by the end
men. Tbe staf o setting and costuming of 'The
Beauty of tho Nile." an ancient Egyptian bur
lesque, was magnificent and displayed excel
lent taste. Several of the ladies were a little
weak in tbeir expressions, and but for tbe ex
cellent work of Billy Jackson, a clever artist
unknown in this city, it would have lagged.
Jackson's act is to make people laugh, and he
docs it by his funny break-neck buslnoss. S.im
Luc.is and his wife in their song, 'The Samo
Old Home," wore applauded to tho echo, and
Mr. Lucas' song, "In the Graveyard," is new
and gives him many opportunities to ring in
gooa-natured humor. Miss Flurenco Hines
captured tbe bearts of tbe boys in the callery
with her drinKing sons, which was an admira
ble "take off' of a drunken man.
Harry Williams' "Meteors" openod the sea
son last night in Montreal. Canada, to a big
bouse. It will be here October 6.
"" Harrls'Tlieater.
Those who saw "One of the Finest," as pre
sented in tbi3 city last season, wonld scarcely
recognize the version of it this week to be seen
at Harri' Theater. Tha company has been
strengthened throughout, by means of an en
tirely new ono being engaged. The members
most worthy ot mention are Edward M. Ryan,
whose John Mishler is excellent; Harry S.
Duffleld, Daniel J. Hart, Frank I. Fraync. Jr.,
juanou vjray ma&saii anu aiiss I'nosa JUCA.I1U
ter as Ruth Hickman. Of the play itself noth
ing need be said at this day, it being a Pitts
burg favorite. The scenery employed is good
and tbe rnle at Harris' this week will undoubt
edly be "Standing Room Only," unless early
application is made for seats.
Tbo Clipper Theater.
The Cyrene Vaudeville Company, with which
Manager Peet reopened tba Clipper Theater
yesterday, contains soma very fair talent. Cy
rene herself is a tall, agile young woman, who
can kick pretty high and is very much at homo
on a slack wire. She dances in long skirts, and
tbe details of her costnme show that she has no
concern for propriety. On tho slack wire it is
also evident that suggestiveness Is what Cyrene
alms at. Miss Kitty Burke's Irish songs ncro
highly appreciated, and she waseucored again
and again. Messrs. Hatch and Campbell played
on a score of curious instruments, and Georco
and Aland Ricketts, Mathews and Bulger, Bel
zac, -Mile. Catharine the fouialo prettidigita
teur Walter Pilmmer and Earle and Ward
couti United songs, dances and vaiiety business
of the regulation cut. All In all, the Clipper
Theater has at) amusing entertainment.
Davis' PI fill Avenue Museum.
The Venetian lady troubadours continue to
make uncommonly sweet music in Davis' Fifth
Avenne Museum. They mado such a distinct
bit last week that Manager Davis retained
them. Among the ferns and fountains of the
roof garden M. Devere. to all appearances,
burns bis wife alive on a griddle. The illusion
is clever enough. Miss Delia Beck, tha 430
pound beauty from Westmoreland county is
tba star curiosity. In tbe theater the pro
gramme has been entirely changed. Tbero Is
considerable fun of one sort or another, and
the musical act of Smith and Ellis in particu
lar deserves praise. The audiences yesterday
were large.
Tbe World' Jlosrum.
Tba wonderful feats of Mr. Lewis4 Hanson
and Miss MilMo Mazle continue to be' iba chief
attractions at the World's Museum, in Alle
gheny. Miss Malzie rides over a plank placed
on Hanson's chest on horseback without in
jury to tbe muscular cowboy. The human
serpents, Be Bora and Do Bar. are curious con
tortionists, and attracted much attention. Tbe
specialty performance iu the theater is given
by a select company of clever people.
VOTES AND PRIZES.
Popnlar Topics Tor Visitor to Yen or Nay
Biilloi nnd Primary flection It o form
Hnvr Do You lnnd on Connolidiition A
87S Inducement to Promolrof l'iits-
bnrc'a Greatness anil Pro.porilj.
The topics chosen for Exposition visitors to
vote upon at Dispatch Headquarters, Bruns-
wick-Ballce-Collender Billiard Company's space,
during tbe first three days of this week should
attract everybody. You are asked to cast your
ballots to-day on the following topic:
TUESDAY'S YOTIPO TOPIC.
Are you in favor of party nominations by a
direct vote of tbe people in place of dele
gate conventions? Open to masculine
voters only.
WEDNESDAY'S VOTHTO TOPIC.
Are you in favor of tbe Consolidation of
the Cities of Pittsburg and Allegheny?
Open to Lady and Gentlemen voters.
The Poll Book will open and close with the
Exposition each morning and evening.
TO PE0M0TE PITTSBTOG.
Handsome Prizes Offered far ibo Best Essay
on n Splendid Topic.
The Prize Essay Contest this week will be
open to all writers except those directly or in
directly connected with the Press of Pittsburg.
The topic chosen is:
What Public Undertakings will best ana most
speedily promote the future Greatness and
Prosperity of Pittsburg.
The Dispatch offers the folloxving Prizes
for tbe three best essays on the abovo topic:
First Prize MO
Second Prize 15
Third Prize 10
Subject to tho following conditions:
L The essay must not exceed 2,000 words.
2. It must bo legibly written on one side of
tbe paper only.
3. It must be original.
4. It must be received at the office ot TrrE
Dispatch or at Dispatch Headquarters, Ex
position Building, not later than 9 o'clock p.
jr., Saturday. September 20.
5. Correct name, address and age of contest
ant must accompany MSS., name only for pub
lication if successful,
6. The Dispatch reserves the right to pub
lish any contribution, whether it be awarded a
prize or nor.
Stop at The Dispatch Headquarters,
Brunswick-Balke-Collender Billiard Company
space, vote and secure a souvenir.
C, Iu MAGEE ABEOAD.
Ho Gives n New York Repot ter Ills OpIn
Ions on several Snbect(.
From the New York Press.l
Chris Magee, of Pittsburg, has some notions
about politics which ho expresses forcibly at
times. I was chatting with him a day or so
ago, when be said: "What I cannot understand
is why some of our friends in tbe United States
Senate have or pretend to havo such a horror
of the legalized bavonet at the polls, but havo
no feeling of abhorrence of tba illegalized
shotgun at tbo polls. Tbey seem to think that
the bayonet would ruin tho country, but are
willing to let the shotgun make certain of the
destruction of the most important feature of
onr government tbo sacredness of the ballot.
I havo no patience whatever with men who sit
in the Senate, and, in face of tbo united senti
ment of the Republican party, refuse to pass
law which will enforce the freedom of the
ballot, while they wink at outrages like those
in Arkansas. The Republican party never had
so much vitality as when it has stood upon
questions of great principle, When it was de
manded that the elections bill should be laid
over in order to pass tha tariff bill it was put
tine aside principle for money getting. The
voters in Tom Reed's district have shown what
they think about the matter bv giving him a
majority that says both tbe tariff and elections
bills should bo passed."
In talking with Mr. Magee lie told me some
things abont Congressman John Dalzell, of
Pittsburc, who has made an enviable record in
the Houso and attained a national reputation.
He is the son of a shoemaker, who expended
all his savings In sending his son to college.
When Dalzell wpnt to Concress first in 1SSC, he
was makine S0O.O0C to EC0.000 a year as a prac
ticing lawyer in Pittsburg. He was attorney
for tbe Pennsylvania Railroad, and tbe labor
troubles which had occurred had left so much
bad blood between the road and tho laboring
men In Pittsburg that there were many Repub
licans wbo thought it inadvisablo to nominato
Dalzell. Magee. however, said he wonld take
his chances ou Dalzell getting tne labor vote.
He added that the corporations always cot the
best men their money would hire to conduct
their law affairs, and consequently that any
district which could socuro m Congress tho
services of a man like Dalzoll for S5.C0C a year
ought to jump at tbo opportunity. The result
of ibe campaign was a vindication of Magce's
views. Dalzell went among tbo labor men and
told them of his ancestry, his toil, his success
in securing an education, and got so many of
their votes that ho bad the largest Republican
majority that bad beou casein his district in
years. He was renominated for a third term
unanimously.
WEICKS IK CANADIAN WATEES.
Tbo Record of I.lfo Snvluc Includes One
From This Com try.
OTTATVA.September 15. Tbe supplementary
report of the Marine Department, which has
just boon issued, sbos tha number of wrecks
in Canadian waters during tbo year 18i9 were
161. 57 being total wrecks.
Eighty-nine lives were lost. Forty-seven per
sons received recognition for tbeir services in
saving life, 33 from the Canadian, 6 from the
British, and 1 each from the United States,
Spanish and Italian Governments.
A Ticket Willi Two Heads.
from the Cleveland Leader.;
"What is the matter with this-ticket for
1892: For President, William McKinley, of
Ohio; for Vice-President, Thomas B. Reed, of
Maine?" asks a correspondent. Well, that
would baa ticket with two heads. It is one of
several first-class tickets the Republicans could
make.
Knlm-ftl Gn Expectations.
From the Buffalo Times.
Tbebizsnpply of natural gas in prospect from
Canada ought to solve the smoke problem to
the satisfaction of factory owners. Stop pol
luting the atmosphere!
THE OLD-YELLOW FU3IPKIN.
How dear to this heart Is the old yellow pump
kin. When orchards are barren or stnfflnR for pies!
When peaches and apples have both been a fail
ure, And berries of no kind have greeted tbe eyes.
How fundly we turn to the fruit of the corn
field, The fruit that our children are taught to de
spise: The old yellow pumpkin, the mud-covered pump
kin. The blg-bellled pumpkin that makes snch good
pies I
Ob, golden-hued pumpkin, you surely are
"in it,"
You Jolly old rascal, so recently spurned;
We ask your forgiveness for thus having
wronscd you.
When lrom your dear presence we scornfully
turned,
Come rolling down bill 'till wo meet you and
greet you.
Yonr balk is a fetst to onr fralt hnniry eyes;
We love yon, old pumpkln,.so well we could eat
TO".
For you are a "dandy" when made into pies. ,
sunxiuiawney apiru.
SNAP SH0TSJN SEASON.
Whex a man falls from grace be shatters
bis reputation.
If you want to see how we live to eat make a
tour of Liberty street in tba' morning. From
CPU to end of tbe commission house quarter
grocers' vehicles fill tbe streer, and the gong of
the cable car pilot Is constantly clanged for
right of way. Tbe cars seem to zig-zag through
the line of horses, wheels, bobbing beads and
drivers' cries, instead of running on the
straight track. How casualties are avoided
only tha gnpmen and tho teamsters can tell.
It's a sight to make you hunger, lor all that.
Piles of produce grown in field and garden
Noith, South, East and West swiftly disappear
from the pavement and OH clean, gaily-painted
covered rigs of grocerymen. Load attar load
departs to every quarter of tbe city to minia
ture markets which lighten tbe good house
wife's labors ai-d saves her sboeleather. It's
an animating scene on a sunshiny morning. It
gives you some idea of tbe demands of the
table, of tbe requirements of life, of tbe ca
pacities of our stomachs, of tho curiosities of
our cookery, of the bounly of our farms and
gardens, of tbe diversity of our products, of
the peculiarities of our climate. It's a living
picture of the Land of Plenty.
When-a brick falls fr m on high and strikes
a pedestrian it's a trifle heavier than air.
The fellow who hunts a fight Is usually ac
commodated. '
Tears too often choke tbe voice of hunger.
If churches were wicked the congregations
would be larger.
First Impressions of foreigners aref requant
ly funny. After tho little parade Saturday
night a young gentleman asked what it meant.
He was informed that it was a political demon
stration, but only a baby affair as compared
with blowous during a Presidental year; that
this was an off year. When asked what be
thought of American politic?, he remarked:
"Well. I'm over only a few months. I never
saw lights in a parade or dusky torchbearers
before. I'm reading tho papers, though, and
from what I can judge the Presidency seems to
lie between Mr. Reed and John L. Sullivan!"
This is a fact. Foreigners cannot fathom Amer
ican fun.
A -whisky bottle is chuck full ot ideas.
The only thing the State Department should
consider is tbe fact that poor Barrundia was
shot nnder tha folds of tbe flag. Tbe stories of
the tragedy should be an after consideration.
The ways of the world must bo cross-ways to
cross-eyed people.
The member wbo jumped up in Congress the
other day and sarcastically yelled, "What's
Butterwortb, anyway?" cannot be blamed for
bis ignorance, as tba Record does not carry
market reports. In Pittsburg it's worth from
25 to 30 cents.
Home is a splendid winter resort.
Death rides on the gale. After a blow
nearly all the sailors on a ship off Patagonia
were stricken, many dying. Tbo old man with
the scythe must be doubling tho Horn.
The pantaloons of corner loafers never bag
at tbe knees.
How they whip the devil around the stump,
to be sure. The Leary lumber raft gets In duty
free under the guise of a foreign vessel built iu
American waters. This is decidedly leery.
JUDQINO from soma of tha matrimonial
afterclaps, Cupid must be a bypnotlzer.
Ir mind-readers could be utilized in politics,
what schemes could be uncovered and what
little games would be spoiled.
THE higher the grain the smaller the loaf.
Whek the McKinley bill goes Into opera
tion the tax on wine and barley will take a
jnmp. Perhaps water Is destined to become a
favorite beverage alterall.
Fast talkers don't choose their words. Tbey
chew them.
Give us, oh, give us the man who sings at
his workl wrote Carlyle. If Carlyle had worked
in a newspaper office he never would have
written this.
THE Kentucky man who clubbed the reporter
is ready lor the cold, cold ground.
The Johnstown church elder who said
"Madam, yon are a liar," is evidently reading
tbe Congressional Record closer than the
Bible.
Isn't it about time for Mr. Delamater to take
a day off and write that letter of acceptance.
Cold weather has a bad effect on gas meters.
It makes them too fast.
A policeman on the Hill yesterday pnt two
shots into a very small dog, then clubbed it,
then dosed Ic with lead again, then some more
club. A big crowd of children, women, and
the few men in tbe neighborhood wbo bad
nothing to do, were in at poor doggie's death
Why not stop this cruel practice? If a dog
bites be mercilul in enforcing the death
rienaltv. Street scenes of this sort will not
teach the little ones to be humane. That dog's
death agony will haunt the slumbers of the
children who looked on.
Russet cider now takes the place of tho rus
set shoe. Touch it lightly, though. The cider
of to-day is not the cider of onr daddies.
The bowlers bave their Inning now. There
are no Sallies In tbo Pittsburg Allies, however.
It's fine, healthy sport, girls, and you should
try it.
Jack Frost and Old bol meet on debatable
ground in this neck of the woods.
Fkost helps tho oyster,
too.
Thcre'san"r"init,
Desk room is at a premium in the school
rooms. Put wings on tho bouses, gentlemen,
and let the young idea soar.
Fruit dealers are nervous. They have to
scan their small change closely now on account
ol the counterfeit $100 bills in circulation.
We havo the legitimate In undress thU week
at one theater.
Whes a young man rings a society belle the
whole neighborhood hears it, and everybody ex
pects to go to tho wedding.
Ir YOU want to sea nature in her autumn
suit run out to Schenley Park.
Steel trinkets will be the rage in London
next winter, 'lhcy should catch on in Pittsburg.
When the Harrison's have to cook their own
meals over alog fire they will conclude that life
in a mountain cottago Is a delusion.
A iady's fan agitates the hearts of her suit
ors as well as the air they breathe.
The man who wraps himself In thought and
forgets his overcoat will catch cold these cool
evenings.
Money seems to bo
Where's that surplus?
in great demand.
When Eve grew inquisitive Adam ordered a
fall suit.
Blair's speech on the Educational bill con
tained 273.000 words. Ho simply talked his
hobby to death.
Ambition is all right, but don't sacrifice the
mail things of life for it.
Several editors In Cannon's district bave
decided to unload him. They're not for Joe
anymore.
Joe Howard says It costs abont as much to
die as to live. But tbe fellow in the coffin
don't have to settle the bill, Joseph. Let tha
living enjoy themselves.
' The Sultan is a barem-scarem chap.
WlXilE WlHKXE.
CURIOUS CONDENSATIONS.
There are 3,117 insane persons in the
Wisconsin asylums.
An Apalachicnla, Fla., resident killed
a rat that weighed 7 pounds.
Rev. Mr. Arney, tbe Michigan horse
racing parson, has acknowledged his error and
promises not to do so again.
A trotting race for oxen, single and
donhle, will ba a conspicuous feature of tbe
Cheboygan, Mich., county fair.
A six-year-old boy, while fishing in a
Wisconsin stream, was pulled ont of a boat and
nearly drownod by an imuiei.se fish.
Henry Walker, of Waylonza, Fla., is
the owner of a pi-; that has six feet and 21 toes,
while a neighbor fcas one with only two f eot.
J. H. Salmon is a Brunswick, Micb.,
antiquarian. He has a valuable collection of
coins ranging from Ci years B. C. to A. D. 112i
The Athnt.1, Ga., Fair Association
offered premiums rr rat scalps.and one farmer
brought in 4,800, killed on his farm, and got the
first premium.
The explanation of the peculiar densitr
of thunder clouds is said to lia in tbe fact that
the vapor is partially condensed into drops by
the electrical action.
As early as 1853 a Bristol and Exeter
broadgauge locomotive, carrying a light load
and running on a falling grade, developed a
speed of SO miles an hour.
At Astoria, Ore., there is an original
and unique sign which reads: "Jeffs Restaur
ant. Tbe Place to Live Well While You do
Live. You Will be Dead a Long Time."
Three years ago G. E. Gordon turned
loose two wild turkeys on bis stock farm near
Jefferson. Wis. Now there are great numbers
of tbem on tbe shores of Lake Koshkonong.
Fred Babner, of Heading, suddenly ex
perienced a loss of weight from 158 to 88
pounds, and a few days ago found the cause of
it to be five lizards that had been living in his
stomach.
A census of frnli-benring treeJ has been
taken in Los Angeles county by Messrs. Mitch
ell and Smith, who devoted three months to
J52,.wI!F- They report the total number at
10,3uo,37a.
The gold medal awarded Michigan for
her educational exhibit at the Melbourne,
Australia, exposition in 1SSS hxs just been re
ceiyed at Lansing. It is .r Anstralian gold,
and weighs nearly two ounces.
Annie Brown, colored, lives in Houston
county. Ga, She Is 47 years old. weighs 500
pounds, Is 5 feet 8 inches in higbt, 7 feet 3
inches in circumference around the bust, 8 feet
4 inches around the waist, and 30 inches around
the arm near the shoulder.
A fruit stand in Palatka, Fla., sells for
a nickel all tbo coacoanuts that a person can
take away in his pockets. Several, wbo
thonehttbevsawagooilthingin this tried is
and lost their nickel. Tna nuts had tha sheila
on and would not go iu any pocket.
For some time the little town of La
Grande, Ore., has been infested with tough
Characters. Ono day last week the people de
cided to clean tho town, and they made a raid
on tbe saloons. The round-up lnclnded four
laro banks, four poker games. wheel of for
tune, and a chuck-a-luck lay-out.
A big moose made its appesrance in
Levant, Me. A citizen who forgot It was close
time, and seizing his rifle shot tho animal in a
neighbor's yard, has just paid tba fine of 8100.
It was quite costly sport forhim,bnt he consoled
biuiselt witb tbe thought that a moose doesn't
walk up to the muzzle of a gun every day.
It is not generally known that excessive
palpitation of tha heart can be promptly
stopped by bending double, with the bead
downward and the arms pendant, so that tem
porary congestion nf the upper part of the
body is produced. If tbe breath bo bold at tha
same time the effect ot this action is hastened.
Judge D. C. Dawkins, o Jacksonville,
nas a unique Masonic souvenir sent to him by
a friend in Delaware. It Is a square, coinpasse-i
and letter G s..m-netr cdly molded anV.
Ubeled. "Madeoi L. m'.cd States nat:on il ban4
notP. rrlrrined and m cerated at tbe Unitedly
States! r asnryDepartmcnt,estimitedS15,000.' M
J. D. Smith is a crippled ttx collector '
of Charleston, Me. So great is tbe sympathy
or his neighbors for him that although be'3 un
able to move about, the taxpayers all help him
io periorm nis duties In an eirective manner,
and men havo been known to actually take blm
in their arras and carry hiin to where he could
attach their property. r
As a Belfast lady was combing her hair
in a room in the second-story, a littlo bird flew
in at tha open window and alighting on a wash
bowl which contained water, proceeded to take
a bath. When it had completed its ablutions
in bird fashion, it shook off tba superfluous
moisture and flew out of the widow, paying no
attention to tbe occupant of tho room.
Sawlell, the supposed slayer of his
brother, seeks to escape from the burden of
his thoughts as he lies in jail by making out of
bits of different kinds of wood, a trinket box,
which is really quite a meritorious bit of handi
work. It is 15x10 Inches in size and S inches
high, and Is very prettily inlaid. The inside is
lined with velvet, and contains one tray, sup
plied with the usual partitions. As the lid is
iiiiea a mirror is disclosed.
There is a conductor on a Cincinnati
street car wbo was recently appointed, who is
heir to an estate in England valued at $150,000.
The yonng man visited tho home of his ances
tors some time ago and arranged to convert
tho property into cash. While awaiting tho
money lie is putting in his time manipulating
the bell punch. It l said he has arranged with
some of the stockholders of the railroad com
pany to Invest his money in the company.
The city of Berlin, Wis., boasts of num
bering among its population ono of the oldest
peoplo in tho country. Tha lady. Mrs. Roso
Woodwortn, was born in the State of Maine In
the year 1783. so that she Is now 102 years old.
She is feclinir better now than she did two
years ago, retains all her mental faculties, and
doctors inform her that she will live for ten
years longer. She has seen every President of
the United States elected, and remembers well
the day when George Washington died.
Of the novel applications of electricitr
there is no end. Bakers are now nsing tho elec
tric motor as a bread-mixer, and are tbns en
abled to do in four or five minutes an amount
of work that would otherwise require hours of
hand labor. A writer in a medical paper say3
he has frequently obtained much relief from
facial neuralgia bv applying an incandescent
light to tbo part affected. He sugeests that
tho lamp could also be usedinpoulticingadvan
t.neouMy. It could belaid over a flixseednr
other form of poultice and constant heat could
be thus secured.
A FEW GOOD LAUGHS.
Sunday school tearher (sternlv) Where
do boys go wbo fish on the. holy Sabbath Day?
Very small Johnny (trlnmphantly) 1 know.
Down to JlcCullom's Cove. Washington Post,
Banker Are you not a burglar?
Hanker No; a friend.
Banker What are you dolne In my bedroom at
midnlzht?
Hanker-Keeping watch. Sif lings.
Happy Northfield student after examina
tion day-Dear papa, I went through the war of
the rebellion without a scratch.
Practical Father-Sly dear child, apply for a
pension Immediately under the new law. -Veto
Xork Tribune.
"Didn't he return your love?" asked a
friend of a disconsolate yonng man.
Ho, " was the disconsolate yonng man's reply,
"but she returned my letters yesterday, together
with all the presents 1 had ever given her."
Somerctlle Journal,
Benedict I understand you are going to
marrv Miss Cuttem, the tailor's daughter.
Singleton-Yes.
"Ah, er, do you tblnk she's Jast the girl for
you?"
"Why, yes. Her father suited me for a long
time, sol think the daughter will." JTunsei's
Wetktg.
Fair entertainer (to young operator)
What side of tbe market-is that the way to put
lt?-sre you on this week, Mr. Brokaw?
Young operator (at other end of tbecofa)-!
am what they call a "bear," Miss Kajones.
Fair entertainer Indeed! Yon yon don't act
the least bit In tbe world like a bear, Mr. Brotawv
"Have vou theater tickeU for this even
lng?" Inquired the wire of a World's fair.
director a day or two ago.
"Yes." '
"Where are they located? Are they la the
parquet?"
"Yes," ho answered, absently, "some or theni
ar in Park row and soma of them ia Jackson
Park." Chicago Tribune,
Wife (to her husband) When you are
down town. John, step Into the store and bay me
some scouring soap; there Isn't a bit In the house.
Little Johnny (looking up from a newspaper ha
Is readlnz) Wouldn't posse be good in place of
soap?
"Posset What do you mean?"
"Why, the paper tells about a train robbery
and lays a posse Is scouring the woods for the rob
ben.-SVtingi.