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THE PTTTSBnR&4S: blATOHt'SlTUBDlT, '' AUGUST '6 189a
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OPENING OF THE SCHOOLS.
L, E. Stofiel.
"WRITING FOR ACTORS.
CHARX.E8 T. MCBBAY.
-UNCLE SAM'S BIG BUILDING.
JAHES A. ISEAEI
. SATIRE ON DIVORCE.
LEWIS M. SWEET.
THE HIDDEN TREASURE.
PATBIE.
PROBLEMS IN LETTERS.
E. R. CnASBOUKX.
STAND FAST. CRAIG-ROYSTON.
Wm. Black.
GOSSD? OF GOTHAM.
CiiAHA Belle.
THE MARKETS OF CITIES.
' MARIE V. MAQUESNE.
IS SUCCESS A FAILURE?
JA1IE3 C. PUEDT.
DIAMONDS AT SARATOGA
Miss Gbuxbt, Jr.
SIMON PETER'S LOVE.
Ret. George Hodges.
KEW YORK'S PUBLIC BATHB,
Meg.
tn the london shops,
Miss Hajxtoxso.
HOW TO MAKE STEWS,
Kt.tjce Bebeka.
OKLAHOMA TO-DAY,
Emma H. DeKnIght.
BTORY OF THE REVOLUTION.
STAKLEY J. "WSTStAW.
POLITICAL DUTY.
The Cootttbt Pabson.
THE TEACHERS' INSTITUTE,
Bessie Bramble.
DECORATIONS IN STONE,
Marios C. Gallaqhee.
AT A SUMMER HOTEL,
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A SPERM -WHALE AS A PET.
WnXUU CHUECB3LL.
THE ARMENIAN TROUBLES.
Frank G. Caepewtee.
MOUNTAIN CHARACTERS.
ALICE MACGOWAX
MONGOLIAN WEAPONS.
BAK SZCmjEN.
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ESTABLISHED FEBRUARY 8, 1848,
Vol. 45. Do. 20. Entered t Pittsburg I'ostofflce.
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PITTSBURG. SATURDAY, AUG. 30, 188a
FIUEs AND BUILDINGS.
The ever vital question of re-proof build
ings is discussed at length in some inter
views which appear in this issue. The old
ideas as to fire-proof buildings received a
rude shock in the Chicago and Boston con
flagrations, when brick and granite went
down before the flames with scarcely more
resistance than sandstone or frame. Since
then it has been regarded as an open ques
tion whether absolutely fire-proof buildings
can be constructed, and one or two recent
fires have served to strengthen that doubt.
The opinion of local architects indicates
that onr new and fine buildings are as near
fire-proof as they are made. That these
buildings from the Court House and Peni
tentiary down would provs superior
to the assaults of any ordinary
fire may be regarded as beyond dis
pote; although the question whether
they would stand the test which swept
.granite blocks in Chicago is more doubtful.
Tbe Fidelity bnilding is recognized as ap
proaching perfection in this respect, al
though it also appears that if we discard
the theories of etyle and beanty which most
of us would be sorry to lote and build build
ings of firebrick and iron, like puddling
furnaces, they would resist any heat that
can be produced.
One point is especially deserving of alien-
tion. It is that narrow streets multiply the
dangers of fire. The widening ot onr prin
cipal streets at present would be well nigh
impracticable; but TheDispatcb. has often
pointed ont the benefits to be secured by
widening the streets in sections which are
litely to become business quarters in the near
future. Here is an argument in favor of
such a policy, that is of the greatest weight
The saving in insurance, added to the
superior convenience of wide streets should
set-property owners to widening the streets
wherever it can be done.
PROPHETS OF PROhFERlTY.
Among the characteristic points of Mr.
McKinley s ringing speech the other day, in
accepting the renomination which entails
upon him a very hard fight and desperate
chances, was the prediction that, when the
McKinley bill is passed, it will bring in an
era of business prosperity surpassing any
thing ihccountrv has vet known.
This ; a. verv sataral declaration of the
champion of protection, and may be re
tarded as almost an essential article ol nts
faith. Indeed, it seems to be the regular
and necessary view of the champion of al
most every policy, that it is destined to ush
er in prosperity unalloyed and unrivaled.
The silver men have declared that the pas
sage of their measure will make the wheels
of every Industry move to quicker time, and
confer unbounded prosperity on the farmers;
and some of the more sanguine of that
cult have even gone so far as to claim
that the prosperity is established before
the Treasury has got its first month's
purchases of silver stacked away in the
vaults. The Farmers' Alliance people
think that a golden age of business booms is
waiting on the enactment of the sub-Treasury
bill; while the legislators of the "old
flag and an appropriation" class think that
universal wealth is be had by any means
which scatters the surplus most widely. .
Predictions of that sort, therefore, leave
us in the following dilemma: Either these
measures will give us wide prosperity or
they will not. If the prosperity comes we
shall be afflicted by the difficulty of deciding
whom we are to thank for it. If we credit
the benefit to Mr. McKinley that will in
volve ingratitude to the silver men and the
surplus scatterers. The same trouble will
prevent us from being grateful to any of
them for fear of being ungrateful to the
others; and the wore of conferring pros
perity on the land will become a thankless
one. On the other hand if this unbounded
prosperity should not materialize the repu
tation of these economic prophets would be
more completely wrecked than that ot 'Wig
gins or Verner as weather sharps.
We think that the latter consideration
should induce a little discretion in the
roseate vie ws of our political prophets. "We
have no desire to underrate any of their
pet measures; but we think that a plentiful
supply of natural gas in Pennsylvania and
good crops in the "West would produce more
real prosperity than all the measures that
have come out of the brains of our present
statesmen.
TUB LABOR QUESTION IN PARIS.
The sketch of the condition of the Paris
workman, given in a special letter in this
issue, from M. Jules Joflrin, one of the
Socialist deputies, is a very interesting one.
It contains several points which ought to
suggest important reflections to all who are
interested in the labor question in any part
of the world.
One of these points is the fact demon
strated in Paris, that although the wages of
the Pans workman have risen largely in
the past fifteen or twenty years, the advance
has been neutralized by the increase in the
cost of living. M. Joflrin is right in saying
than an "increase in the price paid for man
ual labor is no safe criterion of the pros
perity of the working classes." It is what
the wages will effect for the worfcingman;
the comiorts of living that they will obtain
for him; and the consideration in society
that he can secure by his work, that de
termines whether the laborer is well or poorly
paid. The specious plea by which trusts
are supported on the ground that some of
them give a slight increase in wages to their
workingmen, while raising the cost of life
many times m6re to the vast body of the
laboring classes, is fully exposed by this
fact.
The influence which female labor has had
on the social and political position of
French women is rather peculiar to the
French. There is something akin to it in
the improved position of women in this
country who are able to enter into the pro
fessions, and take rank in work requiring
mental labor; but it would surprise Amer
icans to learn that women who work in the
industries that are open to them by the
mass, are more influential than if they were
solely occupied as mothers and housewives.
Indeed, the general opinion is so far to the
contrary on this side of the ocean that most
people seek for a remedy for the surplus of
poorly paid female labor in the direction of
increasing their employment in the domestic
circles.
A very valuable suggestion is conveyed
in the statement that the municipality of
Paris has aided the workingmen, by giving
out contracts to workingmen's associations
aud corporations, and even advancing
money where necessary to make that a
success. "We believe that this practice con
tains the germ of the solution of many
of the labor problems. The great
cause of troble in .most labor questioas is
the distinct division between the laboring
classes and those who employ them. If the
laborers were largely their own contractors,
that division would be to a great measure
lessened. Moreover there is a decided
question whether there would not be a dis
tinct economic gain in this method.
Of course such a plan would not be prac
ticable in all industries; bnt there are many
in which investigation might show it to be
not only possible but advantageous. In
bnilding, for example, a contractor will
take the job and distribute the various
classes of work among sub-contractors, each
of whom furnishes the workingmen, for
each species of work. It might be salutary
to inquire whether the profits that the
various contractors and sub-contractors
must have do not materially increase the
cost of bnilding, and whether if associations
of workingmen cpnld be employed to take
contracts for work, of such sort, they might
not at once lessen the cost of bnilding and
secure themselves better wages. If an as
sociation of common laborers were formed to
take jobs of excavation, they would be
likely to work with a better will than when
they are paid by the day, no matter
whether the work goes well or not.
One of the vital economic questions of the
day is whether the middle.man is not given
by custom an excessive profit. As long as
the middle man does his work more cheaply
than any ono else does it, the presumption
is on his side. Bnt the example of Paris
shows that an experiment is being made
there which suggests the possibility of
bringing the workingmen into direct con
tact with the consumer, in certain important
lines of industrv.
THE IRWIN MINER' APPEAL.
The managers of the Westmoreland and
the Penn Gas Coal Companies, operating at
'Irwin station, 'will do well to accept the
the proposition ol President Bae, of the
United Mine Workers of America, for the
settlement of the strike. The situation at
Irwin station is described temperately
and, as far as we know, truthfully by
Mr. Bae, and his offer to use his
influence with the men to return to work
pending arbitration of the matters in dis
pute by three impartial men strikes us as
very fair. The men ask for a raise in wages
corresponding to that granted by all the
other operators in the Pittsburg field. If
there is any doubt about the justice of this
demand impartial arbitration must estab
lish it.
CONSOLATION FOR FOBAKEB,
The unusual and the unexpected are large
elements in Ohio-politics- The Congressional
convention at Gallipolls yesterday u an ex
ample of this. Congressman Grosvenor
'aspired to 'represent the 'new Twelfth dis
trict in Congress, and the convention
seemed to favor him, and did actu
ally nominate him. The election
took place amid great confusion, and
a second call of the roll resulted differently,
Congressman Thompson being the winner.
But the latter declined the nomination and
turned it over to General Enochs, who is
now the nominee. In this curious grand
change the most significant thing is the ap
parent victory of ex-Governor Foraker's
friends. The defeat of General Grosvenor
will be some consolation to Mr. Foraker, no
doubt. The Twelfth district is one of the
Bepnblican certainties, so kindly donated
by the Democrats at thelast gerrymander.
BLAINE ON RECIPROCITY.
James G. Blaine made a speech to the
United States in Waterville, Me., last
night I) ike all utterances of his, it is most
interesting reading. Actual novelty may
be wanting, for the speech is an amplifica
tion of Secretary Blaine's letters to Sen
ator Frye on reciprocity, but as a
luminous presentment of the policy to
which the Maine statesman would commit
the Bepnblican party, it is a most important
speech. It is very plain that Blaine has no
intention of allowing the public attention
to be diverted from the reciprocity pro
gramme. His arguments are couched in
terms that the people can understand, and
they cannot but create a profound impres
sion upon the country. We are glad that
such live ideas are furnished at a time when
peanut politics and rowdyism are rife in
Congress.
LIGHT ON THE IRON QUESTION.
Discussion of our industrial interests in
the publio press is a commendable thing,
and for that reason we are glad to see a dis
position in the editorial columns of our es
teemed cotemporary, the Baltimore Sun, to
embark in periodical discussion of points
connected with the iron industry. Such a
disposition is to be encouraged on the ground
that its articles are amusing to those who
know anything abont iron making, are in
nocuous to every one else and may in the
fullness of time resnltin giving the esteemed
Sun itself some information on the subject
concerning which it is producing editorials.
A short time ago we had occasion to notice
the Sun't statement that the labor in a ton
of pig iron amounts to only SI CO per ton,
that blunder having been made by taking
the official report of the labor at the fur
naces to include all, the labor required to
produce pig iron. The Sun't argument from
that blunder was a free trade one. Its latest
effort is to prove from the census re
turns on the production of pig iron that
Pennsylvania's lead in that industry
must be transferred to the South. The
argument is based on the following rather
delicious statement. "That Pennsylvania
still produces nearly one-half of the total
supply is owing to a fortunate concurrence
of circumstances. Without the discovery of
natural gas, which has enabled her materi
ally to cheapen prodnction, she could not
at this day compete with the forges of the
State of Alabama." Bnt this, the esteemed
Sun proceeds to remark, is only a temporary
advantage. "It is a serious question as to
how long the supply of natural gas will hold
out," and this dismal picture forthe Pennsyl
vania pig iron industry is sketched in con
clusion. "If the Pennsylvania supply were
exhausted it would either force the iron mas
ters to fall back on coal, or to remove tjieir
plant to the Ohio or Indiana gas fields or to
the South."
This is interesting; although it might
have been made more so by the addition of
a few more features. If sun spots, or the J
lateness ot the seasons, or the failure of the
lumber supply, had been introduced as
causes affecting the pig iron industry, it
would have added picturesqueness and va
riety to the Sun's deliverances on that im
portant topic. It is to be hoped that our es
teemed cotemporary will continue to study
the iron question until it learns that natural
gas has never been used lor making pig iron;
that it is not failing; and consequently that
its failure cannot transfer the pig iron in
dustry to the South.
PATTISON AND BALLOT REFORM.
Ex-Governor Pattison has re-stated his
attitude as to ballot reform. Nobody sin
cerely had doubts abont it. Bnt the Demo
cratic candidate must be prepared to meet
all sorts of insincere accusations, and we
suppose his reiteration of what everybody
knew before is in this case a political neces
sity. Standing upon the Scranton plat
form, Mr. Pattison is not called tupon
to say very much further about his
desire for ballot reform, and what
he does say pithily presents his views
beyond all peradventure. The fact that he
did not say anything upon this point spe
cifically in his letter of acceptance is beside
the question. The effort on the part of Mr.
Pattison's opponents has been to create the
impression that he was not in accord with
the Democratic candidate for Lieutenant
Governor, the Hon. Chauncey F. Black, as
to the means of procuring ballot reform.
Mr. Black is a more enthusiastic advocate
of ballot reform, perhaps, than any other
Pennsylvania statesman, but we do not be
lieve that he is a more sincere friend of that
cause than Mr. Pattison.
The figures furnished by the Census
Bnreau give Idaho, one of the most recently
admitted States, a population of S1.U00. This is
an indication of the mistake made ty admitting
that pocket-borough State, when it has less
than half the population entitling it to admis
sion. On the present basis established by Re
publican votes, a voter in .Idaho has over six
times the influence on national legislation that
a voter in the Twenty-second' Congressional
district of Pennsylvania has.
The report that the census electrical
counter does not bring out the same figure
twice from the addition of the same enumer
ator's list Is calculated to produce the opinion
that nothing about this unfortunate census is
right.
The New York Press denounces in vigor
ous language the conduct of Representatives
Wilson and Beckwlth in the House the other
day. Our Republican extemporary should oc
cupy a separate article in explaining why. It
does not include in its denunciation that more
prominent Republican, Mr. Cannon, of Illi
nois, and the other Republican leaders who
omitted to administer to the Republican mem
bers that censure which they distribute so
freely to the Democrats.
Canned goods are going up so rapidly
that the duty on tin will beconie a wholly un
important matter. For the next year or so it
bids fair to meet the Democratic requirement
by being a taxation on luxury.
A committee of a hundred citizens in
Dayton, O., have'spent several months' in in
vestigating the question of what is the best
pavement. Their conclusion is in favor of
asphalt on street where there are no car tracks
or other causes to break the surface. Tne ap
plication of this to Pittsbure is that if we can
find any streets that are not occupied by car ,
tracks we should put asphalt pavement there.
But that rule is not likely to throw block stone
into disuse.
The fact that a treaty of peace has been
signed between Guatemala and. Salvador and
that President Ezeta has agreed' to, it, should
be an Inducement to onr pugnacious Congress
men to go and do likewise.
The colored men of Alabamahave formed
a plan for their relief which beats the Farmers'
Alliance sub-Treasury scheme, and adds new
embellishments to the old promise ot "forty
acres and a male." It Is to the effect that the
Government shall give every colored man a farm
and then loan them all tLOCO to be secured by a
twenty-year'mortgage on the farms.
Ms. John L. Sullivah- has laid aside
his Congressional aspirations In disgust. He
wonld scorn to belong to a body where they do
their slugging with so little regard forthe
rules.
Eepeesentative Mills is alleged to
be rousing the back counties of Illinois by his
speeches on the tariff bill. Nevertheless there
is room for an adverse construction on the re
port, In connection with ope of bis speeches
that "the farmers cheered until they were
hoarse when Mr. Mills concluded."
It is interesting and important to learn
that Governor Beaver is able to give his warm
and almost enthnslastio indorsement to Gov
ernor Beaver's administration.
Ix appears to be one of the hitherto un
published features of Speaker Reed's new
rules that savage remarks by Democrats are a
violation of parliamentary propriety, while in
decent remarks by Republicans are not to be
censured.
PEOHLNENT MEH AHD WOMEN.
How. Miller CHAHBEBXiAiir, manager of
the Boston Public Library for the past 12 years,
has resigned on account of poor health.
M. Db Gastk, the French champion of
woman's rights, recently tried successfully to
have his daughter, 40 years old, declared in
competent to manage her own affairs.
Jean Inoelow, who is SO years old, lives in
retirement with her mother at Kensington,
England. She writes bnt little, and devotes
much of her time and income to charitable
works.
Mb. Paul bu Chatlltj is a thorough
American, having been born in Louisiana, and
net in France, as is commonly supposed. He is
bald and over 60, but is still as gay and agile
as a boy. ,
Tub craze for titles seems to have attacked
the King ot Italy, ana ha talks of making him
self "Emperor of' Erythrea and Eastern Af
rica," because of his protectorate of Abyssinia
and some colonies on the Red Sea.
Mr. Cahneqie offered 10,000 to build a
library in Ayr, provided the community
adopted the Free Libraries Act. A plebiscite
of the inhabitants was taken, and the result of
the voting shows that, ont of 8,738 householders,
2,015 voted for the adoption of the act, and 123
against.
Mb. ChatjkceyM. Dxfew sent a volume of
his "After-Dinner Speeches" to theTrince of
Wales. In an autograph letter, the Prince ac
knowledges receipt of the book, pleasantly ad
ding that a perusal of it will assist him in pre
paring the numerous addresses he is called
upon to deliver on ceremonial occasions.
Bbitish royalty is inclined to scout with
considerable asperity the statement that the
present reigsine house is not entitled to the
high-flown family name of Guelph. In marry
ing Prince Albert, however, the Queen would
naturally be expected to take his surname, and
this is Wettln, the family name of the house of
Saxony.
Among the veterans who attended the recent
Grand Army reunion! at Boston was John F.
chase, of Augusta, Me who received 4S wounds
by the explosion of a shell at Gettysburg. His
right arm was blown off, and bis left eye torn
from its socket, and he lay on the field two
days before it was discovered that he was alive.
He is now in comfortable health, ana receives a
pension of 13 a month.
Mrs. James Brown Potter, when In Paris,
sat to M. Jan vanBeerst The result, "A Smile,"
is a sm all picture no bigger than the cover of a
magazine. It was hung at Burlington House,
numbered SSfl, and was bonght by Mr. Aird, M.
P., for 400. It represents Mrs. Potter in a dress
of the First Empire, looking pleasantly from
the canvas at the spectator. It is one of the
most expensive smiles on record.
EDUCATION FOB IONEBS.
Coal Diggers Take a Forward Step nad
Fonnd nn Institute.
rSFECTAE TZLX0RA1C TO TUB DI8PATCH.1
Mansfield Vallet, Pa, August 29. A
mining institute for the education of the large
mining population of this district in technical
matters in mining has been established here
with an initial attendance of 43 members.
Their meetings will be held once a month until
they become more settled.
Roger Hartly, of Pittsburg, a coal operator,
has been chosen President; Daniel Boden, Vice
President, and J. F. Cook, Secretary. The
people generally are very 'well Dleased at this
forward step of the diggers of the dusky dia
mond. Grasshopper Destroy an Orchard.
Mabtinsvuie, August 29. A fine young
orchard belonging to Fhll Blankenship, near
Paragon, this county, has been entirely de
stroyed by grasshoppers. These voraoious In
sects first dennded thetrees of )eaves,then they
commenced stripping the bark from the body
and limbs of the trees. There is not a single
tree in the entire orchard of 400 trees that is
not ruined.
THE DISGRACE OF THE HOUSE,
BUFFALO Express (Rep.): The disputants
have brought disgrace on their country and
their party. Wilson, Cannon and Beckwith
should be bundled, neck and crop, out ot the
House.
Providence Journal (Ind.): The conduct
of business in the House of Representatives is
becoming as ridieulous as it is offensive, and it
is incapable of carrying on legislation even
under the most tyrannons rules ever submitted
to by a constituent assembly.
TJtica Herald (Rep.): The Democrats are
responsible for the disgraceful scene In the
House yesterday. If they hadn't wasted so
much time jn obstructing legislation Congress
could have adjourned a couple of months or
more ago. All the same the members im
mediately offending should be severely spanked.
Philadelphia Record (Dem.): Speaker
Reed's rules are for politics, not for pnblio
business. When Republican kickers oppose
their operation their ineffectiveness is plain.
The disgraceful scene In the House yesterday
was a direct result ot the contempt for parlia
mentary law and order inculcated by the Reed
rules.
New Yobs Herald (Dem.): Mr. Reed is the
immediate guardian of honor of the chamber
over which he presides. If he had been con
scious of his high duty the Speaker would
have ordered the offending member to the bar
and reprimanded him in terms of such wither
ing contempt that he would have been glad to
withdraw from public life.
BFBTNOriELD Republican (Ind.): The
American peoole are wonderfully long
suffering with tbolr legislators, and can excuse
many shortcomings, but when Bepresentatives
on the floor of the House so-far forget them
selves as to indulge in pothouse vulgarity, call
each other liars aud actually como to blows,
patience ceases to have even a, semblance of
virtue. The lower branch of Congress long
ago demonstrated that it has outlived its use
fulness for this session.
Washington Post (Rep.): Yesterday's per
f ormance eclipses every precedent in its vul
garity, blackguardism and shameless disregard
of all the decencies and proprieties of paarlla
mentary body. It discloses a tendency
to degeneracy and irresponsibility on the part
of the House. Examples in point abound all
through the session, and yesterday's but sur
passes all the rest. No wonder there is a spirit
of. unrest and indignation abroad that betokens
the reconstruction of the popular branch of
Congress on lines Jar different from those on
which it is now well-nigh disorganized.
Boston Merald (Ind,): As for the primary
cause of the disturbance, we have no difficulty
In ascribing It to the electric atmosphere of ir
ritation and antagonism which Speaker Reed
has created on both sides of the Chamber by
hlslmpariousness and unfairness. It is plain
that Mr. Reed has lost the respect of the
House. Americans do not take kindly to a
dictatorship. Mr. Reed's attempts at Absolut
ism have put the House in an unruly noou.and
this mood bore trnlt in yesterday's outbreak.
He has been sowing the wind with a free hand;
we are not sufprlsedthat 'he has had a little
wniuwina ot disorder to reapj
OUR SHORT STORIES.
. rwnrmic vox thb msrATCiu
HE KNEW WILSON BARRETT.
TX7TLS0N BABBKTT'fl recent tour of the
v United Btates filled that gentleman's
ready mind with a stock of stories that it will
take him a year to work off on his English
friends. By that time he will be ready to come
over here again.
Mr. Barrett arrived in a Western city one
evening a few months ago and upon leaving
his train was confronted by an invitation to
dinner. In order to facilitate matters the actor
stopped in at a barber shop on his way up from
the railway station and got into a chair for a
shave. Before he had been lathered thor
oughly the barber said:
"You look a good deal like Barrett, the
actor."
Mr. Barrett looked attho man quickly, but
noticing that he appeared serious, settled back
in his chair with a half-questioning, "Yes?"
'Oh. yes," went on the barber, familiarly,
"enough like him to be his brother; but you
can thank yer stars yer not him. Good lookln'
f ellar, but no man to him. not a bit."
Mr. Barrett began to feel uneasy, but he said
nothing.
"An my private opinion is," continued the
tonsorial artist, "be can't act."
Mr. Barrett grunted.
"An I bear he don't pay his comp "
"What?" broke in Mr. Barrett.
"Why, don't pay his comp'ny the people
that's.rnade him, you know."
'Mr. Barrett coutd stand no more, bnt pull
ing the towels from about his neck, he darted,
half-shaved into the street.
Everybody in the shop looked after the flee
ing man, thinking him crazy. The barber
watched him until he passed out of sight and
then remarked calmly:
"Dashed if I don't think that's old Barrett
hisself."
EQUAL TO THE EMERGENCY.
it bexeubkb a negro in the Southern
States, some years ago," said the old
soldier last night, as he rested his war-worn
frame in a chair at the Monongahela House,
"who was very adaptable to circumstances. He
was an old man. and when tired sunning
himself on a log in the laneway, he was accus
tomed to retire softly to the shade and doze.
He had a class of 20 or so little boys, to whom
he used to give Bible lessons, generally on Bun
day afternoon. It was his practice to gi out
on one Sunday the lessons to be prepared for
the next. The old fellow was a little blind
and a good bit deaf, and this fact induced
the young fellows to put ud a joke
on him. In the old boy's absence they glued
two pages of the Bible together, and on the fol
lowing Sunday, sat expectant of how their lit
tle game would work-. The old tutor put on
his '-specs," and giving a sympathetic glance
at his class, opened the Bible at the passage
about Noah's Ark, and began to read. Ha
spelled out the lesson to the end of the page
"and Noah took with him into the ark one of
every kind," and so on'and one wife," and
turning over, continuedrt'ahe was 113 cubits
long and GO wide, built entirely of Cyprus wood,
and pitched inside and out."
"Foh de Lawd's sakel What a womanlex
claimed the old darkey, glancing wonderingly
over the book at his grinning class. He paused
and pondered over the wonderful dimensions
of Noah's wife for many minutes, and then
said:
"Boy, we mnsn't doubt anythln' the book
says, but take it as the other passage f nrder on
which says, "We are fearfully and wonderfully
made."
LETS HIS PROPERTY ALONE,
Comb time ago a camp meeting was begun at
Hollow Rock Springs, owned by an old fel
low named Mayhew. Just after the religious
exercises were started one ot the officers of
the association went to old Mayhew and said:
"Look here, old man, there is something the
matter with that spring water."
Think soT"
"Yes, I know it. Tastes bad and smells
awfuL"
"Wall, I won't dispute your word. Man's got
a right to his opinion in this here neighbor
hood." "But can't something be doner
"I don't know but thar mout."
"What would you suggestT"
"Wall, I reckon the best thing to do as a
starter would be to take the dog out."
Tako the dog out?" the officer gasped. "What
do you mean?"
"Mean you had better pnll out the dead dog
an' give the water a chance to prove its Inno
cence." "Is it possible that yon knew there was a dog
in there?"
"Of course I knowd it when 1 seed him in
thar."
"Why didn't you take him out?"
"Wall, it's old Andy Patterson's dog an' me
an' Andy ain't on good terms' you know. Andy
Is mighty funny about bis property. I found
the dog, the same one, in my springhouse once,
an' I pulled him out an' pulled him putty hard
too, an' Andy got mad an' chunked me round a
good deal, an' since that I alius let his property
alone."
HARD TO FIT.
'They were walking along Fifth avenue, when
one exclaimed in excitement and with
much vehemence as io attract attention, "Oh!
Just look therel What a horrid fit Miss La-
vakolvlskonltzky's dressmaker's made. See
how it bags and sags. Oh, myl It's a perfect
fright, I can't "
"Whose dressmaker?" abruptly exclaimed
her companion who seemed a bit bewildered.
"Why MissLavakolviskowitzky'a. of course."
"Well how in the world do you expect a
dressmaker to fit a name like that, anybowl"
WILLING TO ASSIST HER.
VT0bnin' madam 1 Want any combs,
brushes, hairpins, table cloths, towels,
lead pencils, tooth brushes or chewing gum?"
The peddler put his hat on the floor and
opened his pack as be asked the qnestlon.
"No, sir," said the woman sharply, "and I
don't want any dime novels, nor chalk eggs, nor
5-cent calico, nor tooth powder, nor pigs-in-clover
puzzles, nor lamp wicks, nor eye salve,
nor corn plasters, nor liquid blue."
"Just so. And I suppose It's no use to ask
whether you'd like to look at a bottle of
wrinkie-fillin' for old complexions?"
"Not a bit, sir, and I know yon haven't got
any books on good manners, or you'd read 'era
yourself occasionally."
"None "ot the people I call on would ap
preciate 'em, madam. And now if you think
you would have no use for the Celebrated in-'
visible ear trumpet that you can fasten in your
kitchen window and bear everything your
neighbors say, or the famous long-range kitch
en telescope that will bring every back yard
within half a mile ot your bouse so close to you
that you can almost smell the pipes the men are
smokin' on the back stoops, I'll be goln'."
"Hold onf' exclaimed the woman of the
house. "I don't know but I would like to bny
those two articles, if they don't cost too
much."
"All right, madam," rejoined the peddler, "if
I see any chap that's got 'em to sell I'll steer
him ronnd thts way. Mornin' madaml"
He picked up his hat, put it on his head side
wise, and went down the steps whistling "Little
Annie Roouey," leaving a large, crooked
nosed, raw-boned woman standing on theporch
and gasping in Inarticulate rage."
DIED FBOH A BEE'S STIKG.
A Cue at Syracaie That Has Puzzled
the
Physicians.
rsrzcuL tblicbam to tub DISPATCH.!
Sybactjsb, N. Y., August 29. Yesterday
afternoon Alexander S. Baker, a wealthy stock
raiser near here, was stung on the nose by a
honey bee and died within ten minutes. Phy
sicians say that it is one of the strangest cases
they ever knew. Tblrty-two years ago he was
stung on the back of his neck and nearly died
from the effects.
Since that time he had not had a pulse of
more than 45 beats to the minute. Five years
ago he was stung again and then sold his
apiary. He was at the home of bis son when
stung the last time.
A COMPLETE SUCCESS.
Tobacco Successfully Raised on the Red
Gate Farm, New Jersey.
BELVIDEBE, N. J., August 29. The experi
ment of raising tobacco on the Red Gate farm,
this year, bas been a complete success, and the
crop was gathered the present week. Between
five and six acres were planted and throve re
markably well, the plants averaging four feet
in height. . ' r
Wben dried the crop will net 18 tons, which
will be worth from 18 to 22 cents a pound, or a
return of HOD to the acre. The experiment
will oe conunuea anotner jw.
A SHAKESPEAEIAK MEM0EIAL.
Chicago Proposes to Erect n Bis; Theater
and Revive Great Dramas.
rsrXCIAL ID.IOBAM TO TBI DISrATOS.I
Chicago. August 29. A scheme Is now on
foot to duplicate in Chicago the elegant Shake
speare Memorial Theater, which was built at
Btatford in 1582, and make it the home of a
permanent stock company of high class players.
The leading spirit in this enterprise is Mr.
John Stapleton, who for many years was
DramaticDirector of the Chicago Conservatory.
The plan has proceeded so far that a site has
been selected-tbe lots on which the First
Regiment Armory stands and the indorse
ment of manv lA&rifn. Ptiicm hntu... ..
has been obtained, among them being Charles
. Sa.t?nJ?S0D- t the Ck Exchange Bankson
of "Old Hutch" of the Board of Trade; War
ren F. inland, of the Leland Hotel; Ferd W.
eck, one of theleading men in the Auditorium
Company; James W. Ellsworth, James W. Scott,
LoIumbusR. Cumminc, Chas. Henrotin. F. H.
watrlss and others. The aim and policy of the
new theater will be to give high class repre
sentations or plays, and, in keeping with the
Charactflr nf th. t.n.a ... -I.. n.l.a.rnnA
I ?n1ake,P6irian revival on a pretentious scale.
-6ucu mat Dy auopung tnis policy mo
theater cannot fall of magnificent financial
success. Of the 15 theaters in Chicago every
one Is filled to overflowing on the advent of
first-class companies, and the only thing that
makes some of them unprofitable Is that they
cannot secure a sufficient nnmber of good at
tractions. By constantly keening up the stan
dard of the performances it is urged that the
new theater cannot fail to secure a very profit
able patronage from the outset. Tho house
will have a capacity of only about 2,000. The
site chosen is a very good one for a small thea
ter of the character proposed, being in the
heart of the business district and within easy
reach of all the leading hotels of the city.
CTJBBEKT TIMELY TOPICS.
Aw exchange says that eeese are long lived
creatures, frequently attaining the ae of 50 years.
Bat come to think of It, this will be no news to
many -frequenters of restaurants.
t r t
Columbus was a little over 70 days in dis
covering America. It has taken the Chlcagoans
a ranch longer time to discover a site for the fair,
which proves conelnslrely that Columbus was a
much smarter man than the Chlcagoans.
t t t .
A law should be Immediately passed charg
ing an admittance fee to the House of Representatives.-
It Is a great drawing card, and the moner
thns received wonld help materially in assisting
to pay the expenses in the long drawn out session.
t t t
The lovers of baseball bavo the satisfaction
of knowing that the season Is rapidly drawing to
a close.
t t t
It will hardly do to remove the bar from
the Capitol. So long as we have Eenators the
fashion of "bending elbows" will be In vogue,
and It is much better for them to retire to a room
than It will be to pass a bottle out of their pockets
and wet their whistles in the presence of visiting
friends.
. t t
The Dispatch is in receipt of the Con
grtssional Record for Thursday, August 13, 1890.
It will be filed away with the Kreutzer Sonata,
labeled "unfit for publication."
t t t
Dumno a play In New York this week a real
fish was cooked on the stage, and the theater was
filled with the odor of real cooking, which made
the majority ot people In attendance feel right at
home.
t t t
The lard bill is the greasiest ever introduced
in the House, and yel it may truthfully be said
that it did not slide through easily,
t t t
The present campaign in Arkansas hag
proven a real benefit to the colored population.
Megro orators have been engaged, and many col
ored people have been placed on the ticket. It is
to be hoped that the white voters Will not forget
their colored brethren on the dsy of election and
scratch their names.
t t t
The Congressional Record should be denied
transmission in the malls. Postmaster -W ana
maker should do his whole duty la the matter.
t t t
John L. Sullivan bas displayed his his
trlonle ability, and at the same time formally de
clared that he haa surrendered prize fightlnt for
good. Many people will be unkind enough now
to Insinuate that John is sending out feelers for
Congressional honors.
HE CATCHES AND 8ELXS SNAKES.
A Connecticut Boy Who Tarns an Honest
Dollar by Dealing in Adders.
A2T807TTA, August 29. A Derby boy has
found an odd way of making a dollar. He was
seen yesterday walking along the bank of the
Nangatuck river with a glass fruit jar in his
hand. .Every few minutes he wonld rapidly
twirl a stick, which was apparently a whip lash
on the end, and then walk on intently, eyeing
the ground. Wben asked wbat be was looking
for he said simply, "Snakes." In his fruit jar-
he had several small striped adders, a poison
ous snake, which has been quite a plenty here
abouts this season. When asked wbat he did
with them he said: "Sell 'em to ue bartenders."
It is a fact that Derby saloonkeepers, wben
they think a man has drank enough, qulotly
slip a snake out of a jar and put It on the coun
ter before the eyes of the inebriated customer.
It is said never to fail in working a cure, and
the man goes home and sobers up. The boy
has caught aud sold 29 of the reptiles this
season.
A PECTJLIAE1Y SAB CASE.
Elcht Members of a Family Die Within the
Last Three Months.
Muncte, Ind., August 29. A peculiarly sad
easels reported to the State Board of Health
from Rensselaer. A family four months ago
moved from that place to Chicago. Three
months ago one of the children died. Two
months ago the husband died of sunstroke.
Six weeks ago the family returned to Rensse
laer, and. with various aunts and grandparents,
making altogether 13 persons, occupied a fiver
room house.
Then one of the children took the diphtheria,
and the physician, not recognizing the disease,
took no step to isolate the patient. After it
died, eight other members of the family were
attacked, and five of them have already died
Tbis makes a total ot eight members of the
family which have died within the last three
months.
PLENTY OF COAL. '
Over Three Million Baabels fltnrted From
PIttabarE and the Kanawha.
Cincinnatt, August 29. The recent rains
have made what rivermen term a towboat rise,
and from the Pennsylvania abdKaaawha
mines there is coming toward Cincinnati and
the South a loncfleet of tow-boats and barges
loaded with the black diamonds. From the
Kanawha river 100,000 bushels are en route to
Cincinnati for home consumption, besides
probably an equal amount for Madison, Vevay.
Rising Sun, Louisville and points below.
The Pittsburg fleet bas over 3,000,000 bushels,
and added to about 7,000,000 bushels stocked in
the yards, this will give Cincinnati a fair sup
ply for the coming fall.
PHTSBUEBEES IK PHILADELPHIA
Otheb Plttsburgers at the Lafayette are: J
W. Friend, J. T. Wood, C. O. Morrow and w!
D. Wood.
D. Herbert Hostetteb Is a well-known
Pittsburg young man at the Stratford. Phila
delphia Press.
Two well-known young men from the bnsy
town at the junction ot the Monongahela and
the Allegheny, are J. G. Vilseck and George
Hopper, who are at the Girard, having just re
turned from Atlantic City.
John S. Lambie, a Select Councilman of
Pittsburg, is at the Girard with his three
daughters, Miss Lambie, and Misses Aimee and
Annie Lambie. Mr. Lambie has long been a
prominent figure in municipal and legal affairs
in the Smoky City.
deatIhs
OF A DAY,
John Slddons.
Eocbistxr, N. Y., August 23. John Blddons.
prominently known through the country as head
of the John Slddons Roofing Company, dropped
dead this morning. He leaves a wife, a ion,
Charles s. Slddons, of Cleveland, and two daugh
ters, lie was a prominent Mason.
Mn. E. Korzcnbaam.
.HPICIAL TXLldRAH TO TSX DISPATCH.!
NkWABr, August 29, Mrs. E. Korzenbaum
died at her home In this city this morning, aged
60 years. She was one of the best known and
highly esteemed ladles In the city. She was the
mother or 15 children, six or whom are still liv
ing. Gibson Scott. -
rSriClALTIHOKAM TO.THX DIBrATCB
Gxxxkvtux, Pa.. August . Olbsoa'Scott,
for many years a pomlnent citizen of this place,
but recently of Canton, O., died suddenly this
PRIZES AND BALLOTS,
HOWTHEDISPATCH WILL ADD AFEATURE
TO THE EXPOSITION. '
A Chance for Amateur Writers to Wis n
Prize Every Week Voting on Popular
Topics a Pleasant Amusement Walcb
fr the Weekly Bulletins to be Announced
llelarehand la the Saturday and Sunday
Editions The Prize Offer and Voting
1.1st far the Opening Week.
The Dispatch has perfected arrangements
whereby it will be enabled to add a pleasant
feature to the varied attractions of the Exposi
tion from the onenlng to the closing day.
Here are the preliminaries :
.Room for headquarters at the Exposition has
been secured in the commodious and attractive
space occupied by tho Brunswick-Balke-Col-lender
Company's billiard table display. The
Dispatch booth will be located on a corner,
giving it a frontage on two aisles, the whole
space being surrounded by wide passageways,
making it conspicuous and easy of access.
Here all the (Ballots and Prize Essays of the
voters and contestants will be received and ac
curately recorded.'
Opening Week's Balloting.
The Exposition will open Wednesday
Evksiko. September 8, at 8 o'clock. The Bui
letin of Ballots and the Topic for the Prize
Essay Contest for Wednesday evening and
Thursday, Friday, and Saturday of the opening
week follow. Vote Aye or Nay on the topics
here suggested:
WEDNESDAY EVENING'S VOTING TOBIC.
Should all the Suburban Street-Car Lines run
All-Hisht Cars? Open to Lady and Gentle
men voters.
THTJKSDAY'S "VOTING TOPIC.
Should the Old Block House at the Point be
removed to 8chen1ey Park, or should it re
main where it is and the Point be turned into
a Park ? Open to Lady and Gentlemen voters.
FBIDAY'S VOTING TOPIC.
Should the Allegheny Wharf be transformed
into a Promenade and ParkT Open to Lady
and Gentlemen voters.
SATTJEDAY'S VOTING TOPIC.
What is your choice of Sites for the Main
Building of the Carnegie Free Library? Open
to Lady and Gentlemen voters.
How to Vote.
In order to accurately test public opinion on
all the topics to be balloted for during the Ex
position, The Dispatch has decided to open a
Poll Book for recording the Ayes and Nays,
thus avoiding "tissue ballots" and "repeating."
Voters will be expected to give tbeir names and
addresses for entry in the Poll Book, and their
vote will be set opposite, thereby ensuring ac
curacy at all times. The Poll Book will open
with the Exposition each morning and be
closed when the lights are turned off at night.
Ladies will be permitted to vote on all popular
topics' in which they, as well as their fathers
and brothers, are Interested.
The Prize Essay Contest.
The Dispatch each week will offer Frizes
for the best Essays and Contributions on a
topic to be chosen and announced, so as to give
ample time for their preparation. The Prize
Essay Contest for the opening week will be
open only to Amateur Writers, professional
newspaper and magazine contributors being
barred. All Amateurs in Western Pennsylva
nia can contest for the Prizes.
OPENING -WEEK'S PE1ZE TOPICS.
For the opening week The Dispatch will
offer the prizes announced herewith for the
best Descriptive Article on the Exposi
tion as a whole. Articles must be general in
character and deal with the instructive and
unique features of the displays and attractions.
No puffing in the line ot designating by name
the exhibitors will be permitted. The features
and attractions can only be referred to in a gen
eral and Interesting way.
Tho Prizes.
For the best contribution on the above topic
The Dispatch will award a prize of a
TWENTr DOLLAR GOLD PIECE.
For the Second Prize The Dispatch will
award a Five Dollar Gold Piece.
For the Third Prize The Dispatch will for
ward by mail to the winner a copy of the
Sunday issue of The Dispatch for One
Year.
THE CONDITIONS.
Each article must make at least 800 and not
more than 1,000 words.
Competitions must be written legibly, on one
side of the paper only, and mnst be labeled,
"The Dispatch Prize Essay Contest, Expo
sition Descriptive Article; closing Saturday,
September 6, 3890."
Contributions must be left at The Dispatch
Headquarters,Brunswlck.Ba)ke-CollenderCo.'s
space. Exposition Buildings.
Correct name, address and age of contestant
must accompany HSS., name only for publica
tion if successful.
The Dispatch reserves the right to publish
any contribution, whether it be awarded a prize
or not.
The Prize Essay Contest for the first week
will close with the Exposition on Saturday
night, September 6.
Watch for Second Week's Prize Topic and
Ballot Bulletin.
The Dispatch has secured neat little
Souvenirs for presentation to all Lady Voters
during next week's balloting. One will be a
handy addition to the work-basket, the other
will be appreciated during the long winter
evenings soon to come. Ladles can choose from
either.
ECHOES FB0M THE STATE PSESS.
KiTTANNlNO Globe: EJderberries are in
great demand everywhere this summer. We
wouldn't object if some of our Inends who owe
us a couple year's subscription would square
up with elderberries. We want some kind of
an upper spread.
Lancaster Examiner: Editor Campbell, of
the Manheim Sun. who laa member of the bor
ough school board, although a hopeless minor
ity of one, showed good common sense In voting
against a resolution requiring (teachers to
board within the school district.
Wellsville Democrat: A tramp minister
held services at the schoolbouse in the Ger
man settlement east of our village Wednesday.
He was invited to spend the night with Charles
Hom, a local preacier who resides there. The
next morning while the family were absent be
stole tbeir silver forks and decamped,
HARKISBURO Independent: HarrUburg's
old soldiers seem to be in earnest on the sub
ject of taking care of themselves in political
deals when the loaves and fishes are dealt out.
as is shown in the determination to make them
selves felt in local politics. Both parties are
reproached by the veterans for neglecting
them.
Harbisbtog Telegraph: In the death of
Victor E. Plollet Pennsylvania loses one of her
best known and most distinguished citizens.
In bis time he was a power among the people.
He was aggressive, Courageous, of fixed con
victions and of great mental activity, and these
qualities he carried with him to his latest mo
ments. OriiCiTT Derrick: A Cottage Hill resident
on a still night can hear a man talk in an or
dinarily loud tone ofoIce onJClark's Summit,
provided he happens to be in the same atmos
pheric strata. The distance between the two
points is a half mile. A sham battle of artillery
in the valley half way between would hardly
be heard. The student of acoustics can solve
the problem.
ALTOONA Tribune: Three Pennsylvania
judges have recently incidentally decided that
the w'bolesale purchase of tax receipts by po
litical committees is a violation of law, and
that unless a voter secures a receipt not less
than 30 days beforo the election ho cannot law
fully vote. We are glad to hear this. Possibly
it may aid the State and county committees to
emancipate themselves from the unnecessary
expense of paying, taxes for. men who ao not
CUBI0US CONDEKSATIOSS.
A snake two feet long wriggled ont of a
mail box in Bridgeton. N. J.. Monday.
A Kentucky mountaineer who sold his
vote for SO cents bas been fined S175 and dis
franchised, A bank in Springfield, Mass., received
tor collection Saturday a draft from Chicago
uyuu iarj;o corporauou iue o cents.
The phrase "Zenith City of the TJnsalted
8eas," which made Proctor Knott and his
Dulutb speech famous a few years ago, isn't In
the speech at all.
Gloves with webs between the fingers
are a recent invention, intended to aid swim
mers in getting a better purchase on the water
than the bare hand gives.
One of the New York Census Superin
tendents says that the women enumerators did
some splendid work. The men frequently got
tipsy, but the women always had tueir census
about them.
In Florida sugar cane grows luxuriantly
without fertilizing; and the average cost of
preparing and planting a Bugar crop there Is f 10
per acre, as compared with SIS in Cuba and tU
In Louisiana.
It is on record that the Vanderbilts
once gave a check for 700.(300 in a tremendous
railway transaction, but that record is now
beaten by the check for 1,250,000 said to be
drawn In London by the Indian and Peninsular
Railway Company.
An interesting fact just ascertained by
Government observers is that at the extremi
ties of Long Island Sound the tide begins to
now inward near the bottom one and one-half
hours before it begins to flow in the same di
rection at the surface of the water.
The new census report of religious
bodies in the United States shows that there aro
1H se cts, 'with 25.C0O,0OO members. The Method
ists nnmber 5,000,000; the Baptists. 4000,000; tho
Roman Catholics. 4000.000: the Presbyterians,
3,000,000, and the Episcopalians. 2,000,000.
"Man wants but little here below," is
certainly the motto of some natives in India.
A man of 40 being recently examined Defore a
magistrate at Bangalore stated that be earned
daily a quarter of an anna (about ljd.) by bot
tling ginger beer, and that be was quite satis
fled with bis wages and position.
Covering bullets with vaseline enables
one to see them easily in their course from the
rifle to the target, it is said. Tbeir trajectory
Is marked by a beautiful ring of smoke, caused
by the vaseline being ignited in leaving tho
mnzzle of the gun. the smoke for some time
being suspended in the air.
A desperate horse thief in Maine, who
escaped from jail, has been captured by boys.
Discovering him, they gave chase and cornered
him in a deserted house, where one of the lads
drew a toy pistol and fired several blank cart
ridges at him. The fellow then gave himself
up. A carriage was obtained and he was re
turned to jail by the triumphant youngsters.
The total value of the imports and ex
ports of the United Btates in the last fiscal
year was $L617,192i011, the highest figures ever
attained. The imports were S7SD,33j,8o3 in
value, and the exports 5857,836,159. The raw
cotton exports amonnted to i25L.00O.0Wl. The
combined value of cattle, sheep and hogs ex
ported was greater than ever before in a single
year.
There is an old colored man in Sanders
villa who is known all over the countr as
'Lam." He is nearly 80 years old and has been
blind almost all bis life. He runs the printing
press for a Washington conntv paper, and can
mend or arrange any part of the machine. He
can find anything as easily as If his vision was
not affected. His full name is Christopher Col
umbus Choctaw Jordan, which he delights in
repeating.
Europe is soon to be entertained by a
troop of Persian singers, wrestlers, boxers,
equestrians, conjurers and mountebanks to the
number of 60, who will give performances of a
kind never yet seen in the great capitals.
Most ot these gentry are banditti, whose local
celebrity bas been earned as much by highroad
exploits as by artistic performances, but a Rus
sian impresario has banded tbem together, and
begins his rounds with them at Odessa.
The "Noon Best" is the title of an in
stitution devised for the benefit of the business
women and girls of Indianapolis by the Young
Women's Christian Temperance Union. It Is a
sort of woman's club .the rooms of which are
open each day from 10 A. sr. to 3 p.m., where
all yoncg women who work in stores and shops
are invited to spend their noon hours. Tables
are provided for lunches, and milk, tea, coffee
ana cnocoiate are served lor 3 cents per cup.
The Hastings Mill, at Victoria, is now
shipping three pieces of square timber, each of
which is SO feet long by three feet square.
Each stick contains 6,480 feet, board measure,
and will weigh from 12 to 13 tons. The three
pieces are being loaded on two flat cars coopled
together, the sticks lyine on four bolsters, two
on each car those on the extreme end being
fixed on a swivel and the center ones sliding,
so tbat there will be no tronble in going round
sharp curves. The timbers are consigned to
Montreal, where they will be utilized as anchors
for a large dredge.
The quantity of meat thrown overboard
into the Atlantic is very great, says an English
paper. Out of 183 cargoes of animals sent to
British ports in one yjar from Canada, consist
ing of 01,093 head ofjcattle, 61.382 sheep, and 75
pigs, 60S cattle, 1,170 sheep, and 1 pig were con
signed to the deep during the voyage. Of the
432 cargoes imported from the United States to
this country comprising 138.661 bead of cattle,
30,317 sheep, and 17 pigs, L570 of the first, and
857 of the second class ot tkis live stock was
thrown overboard during the voyage, thus
numbering 4,858 animals which were pitched
into the sea for tbe year.
An automatic photographis machine
has been invented in England. The patron
after placing a penny in the slot, takes his
stand in front of the lens and adjusts his
position by a small looking glass placed above
it. He leans against a post placed a few feet
in front of tbe camera, and in about five sec
onds the ringing of a bell announces tbe com
pletion of bis sitting, while 40 seconds subse
quently bis photograph is delivered to him by
the machine, .requiring only half a minute's
exposure to the sun or a lighted match to dry
or finish it. An additional half-penny placed
in a slot produces a frame for the photo.
Three goats were horn in Cincinnati a
few days ago. Two of them are perfectly nat
ural, but the other is not so fortunate. Its
body is natural except tbe head, which is
double. It bas four eyes, two mouths, two
tongues. Its ears are set back further than
usual. While all regularlv formed coats have
no upper teeth only a bard gum this one bas
a set in tbe upper jaw of each head, making it
have fonr sets of teeth. In the middle of the
two head there is one eye-socket, with two
eyeballs. The mother actually disowns It, pays
no attention to it and seems to te utterly ob
livious to the fact that it is her offspring.
QUAINT AND QUISICAL.
Miss Antique One of my great-grand
fathers was1 a colonel in the Revolutionary war.
1 always heard It was your father." BacteU
He What a beautiful moon that is,
darling! Cooldyouaskforabetterone?
She (tired of waiting for him to propose) Tea,
George-a honey-moon. LtppineoW Magaiiru.
Cbicagoan (to New Yorker) I say, now,
didn't we push you In tbe census, though?
New Yorker les; but didn't yourHsares in
clude yoor estimates of the people wno may at
tend the World's JTalrf Puet.
"We have decided that the baby looks
like Cnele Joseph," said the happy mamma.
"Why, Joseph Harris is as ugly as a mud
fence."
Yes. but he Is worth iOOO,COO."-JCno Tort
Sun.
"lam glad to see more of yon lately, Miss
Struckoyle.
"Why, ilr. Dolley. yon have seen me often for
six months or more."
Yes; but lately you have been in full dress."
Epoch.
Porter Ton travel regularly now, I see,
ah.
Mr. Gotham (on the New York and Philadelphia
Express) The doctor said I needed recreation. 80
I spend one day in' Philadelphia and the next la
New Yorfc.-Pue.
She (indignantly) I don't think yon
give us girls creditor thinking of anything else
bat dress.
He (suavely) Ob. you wrongme! Idoglveyou
credit for thinking of more than dresses.
"Of what?" '
"Bonnets." poeA.
Bunting Letme see if lean hypnotise
yon, Larkin. .
Larkln Go ahead.
Bunting (after a few passes) At noon to-morrow
you will hand me the SO too borrowed.
Larkln (coming to suddenly) This is carrying a
Joke too ixt.Hcv) Xork Sun.
"What are yon stridgin' the poor feller
np for?" asked a Texan, as became upon a lynch
ing party.
He 'lowed he'd sing 'Little- Annie Kooney;'
an wecoulda't stophlm." 'jsv
'Sarvea bfia right! I thought nubbe he'd oaly.
killed a, man or two." Charttstonlhvsituit'
at