JgiJMl-Jal ss vv ' esjfR jftspF r jPw?t -1 At' J.-. THE PTTTSBnR&4S: blATOHt'SlTUBDlT, '' AUGUST '6 189a '2'! & s- .. A COMPLETE STORY, SEVERAL HUMOROUS SKETCHES. MANY SPLENDID CONTRIBUTIONS AND ALL THE NEWS WILL MAKE" TO-MORROWS UIG DISPATCH TO-MORROWS BIG DISPATCH A SPLENDID NUMBER. A SPLENDID NUMBER. BIG, NEWSY, BRIGHT. TWENTY PAGES OF FIRST CLASS READING. WILL PLEASE ALU PACT. HnMim FICTION. ENTERTAINMENT, " TO INTEREST EVERY READER. THE SWAGE DISPATCH THE 20-PAGE DISPATCH CARRIES MOBE CABLE KKW& CARRIES MORE TELEGRAPH NEWS. CARRIES MORE HOME NEWS. CARRIES MORE NATIONAL NEWS, CARRIES SIORE SPORTING NEWS, CARRIES MORE BUSINESS NEWS. CARRIES MORE WASHINGTON NEWS, CARRIES MORE POLITICAL NEWS, CARRIES MORE COLUMNS OP TSEWS, CARRIES MORE EXCLUSIVE NEWS, CARRIES MORE CORRESPONDENCE THAN ANY OTHER NEWSPAPER IN THIS STATE , WEST OP THE ALLEGHENIES. A FBW OP THE FEATURES CONTRIBUTED BY ITS STAFF AND CORPS OF SPECIAL WRITERS FOR TO-MORROW'S BIG NUMBER ARE GIVEN HEREWITH. THEY COVER A WIDE RANGE, f AND WILL . ENTERTAIN, AMUSE, INSTRUCT. HERE IS A PARTIAL LIST: OPENING OF THE SCHOOLS. L, E. Stofiel. "WRITING FOR ACTORS. CHARX.E8 T. MCBBAY. -UNCLE SAM'S BIG BUILDING. JAHES A. ISEAEI . SATIRE ON DIVORCE. LEWIS M. SWEET. THE HIDDEN TREASURE. PATBIE. PROBLEMS IN LETTERS. E. R. CnASBOUKX. STAND FAST. CRAIG-ROYSTON. Wm. Black. GOSSD? OF GOTHAM. CiiAHA Belle. THE MARKETS OF CITIES. ' MARIE V. MAQUESNE. IS SUCCESS A FAILURE? JA1IE3 C. PUEDT. DIAMONDS AT SARATOGA Miss Gbuxbt, Jr. SIMON PETER'S LOVE. Ret. George Hodges. KEW YORK'S PUBLIC BATHB, Meg. tn the london shops, Miss Hajxtoxso. HOW TO MAKE STEWS, Kt.tjce Bebeka. OKLAHOMA TO-DAY, Emma H. DeKnIght. BTORY OF THE REVOLUTION. STAKLEY J. "WSTStAW. POLITICAL DUTY. The Cootttbt Pabson. THE TEACHERS' INSTITUTE, Bessie Bramble. DECORATIONS IN STONE, Marios C. Gallaqhee. AT A SUMMER HOTEL, . HOTABD FlELDIXG. A SPERM -WHALE AS A PET. WnXUU CHUECB3LL. THE ARMENIAN TROUBLES. Frank G. Caepewtee. MOUNTAIN CHARACTERS. ALICE MACGOWAX MONGOLIAN WEAPONS. BAK SZCmjEN. EVERY DAY SCIENCE. A BTAF.F WJtIYhlt. IF YOU HAVE BEEN AWAY NOTIFY THE CARRIER TO RESUME DELIVERY OF THE DISPATCH. NEWS AGENTS SERVE IT AT ALL POINTS. IT WILL BE MAILED ANYWHERE. SECURE A COPY TO-MORROW AND INSPECT THE CONTENTS. , YOU WILL BE CONVINCED THAT THE DISPATCH LEADS ALL AND 18 THE PAPER FOR THE HOME CIRCLE, THE OFFICE. THE COUNTING ROOM, THE LIBRARY AND THE PEOPLE. JjeB$$$4 ESTABLISHED FEBRUARY 8, 1848, Vol. 45. Do. 20. Entered t Pittsburg I'ostofflce. X orember It, iss7. u second-class muter. Business OfficeComer Emithfleld and Diamond Streets. News Rooms and Publishing House 76, 77 and 79 Diamond Street, EASTERN ADVERTISING OFFICII, ROOM a, TKlBUJs'E BUILD1SG, NEW YORK, -where complete files of THE DISPATCH can always be Jound. foreign advertisers appreciate tbe con venience. Rome advertisers and friends of THE DISFATCH, while In New York, are alio made welcome. THE DISPATCH it regularly on tale a Srentano's, S Union Square, Hew York, and 17 Ave. de F Opera. Pant, .France, where any one who hat been disappointed at a hotel news stand eon obtain it. TERMS OF THE DISPATCH. rOSTAGZ FEES H THE TJinTXD STATES. DAILY DISrATCH, One Year. f SCO Daily Dispatch, Per Quarter ZOO Dailt Dispatch, One Month - TO Dailt Dispatch, lnclndlng Sunday, lyear. 30 00 DAILT DISPATCH, lneltxUngEnnday.Sm'ths. 2E0 Dailt DiErATCH, Including Sunday, 1 month so EuTOAY DISPATCH. One Year 260 Weixly dispatch, One Year 123 Tee Dailt Dispatch is delivered by carriers at Jf cents per week, or Including bunday edition, at 3) cent per week. PITTSBURG. SATURDAY, AUG. 30, 188a FIUEs AND BUILDINGS. The ever vital question of re-proof build ings is discussed at length in some inter views which appear in this issue. The old ideas as to fire-proof buildings received a rude shock in the Chicago and Boston con flagrations, when brick and granite went down before the flames with scarcely more resistance than sandstone or frame. Since then it has been regarded as an open ques tion whether absolutely fire-proof buildings can be constructed, and one or two recent fires have served to strengthen that doubt. The opinion of local architects indicates that onr new and fine buildings are as near fire-proof as they are made. That these buildings from the Court House and Peni tentiary down would provs superior to the assaults of any ordinary fire may be regarded as beyond dis pote; although the question whether they would stand the test which swept .granite blocks in Chicago is more doubtful. Tbe Fidelity bnilding is recognized as ap proaching perfection in this respect, al though it also appears that if we discard the theories of etyle and beanty which most of us would be sorry to lote and build build ings of firebrick and iron, like puddling furnaces, they would resist any heat that can be produced. One point is especially deserving of alien- tion. It is that narrow streets multiply the dangers of fire. The widening ot onr prin cipal streets at present would be well nigh impracticable; but TheDispatcb. has often pointed ont the benefits to be secured by widening the streets in sections which are litely to become business quarters in the near future. Here is an argument in favor of such a policy, that is of the greatest weight The saving in insurance, added to the superior convenience of wide streets should set-property owners to widening the streets wherever it can be done. PROPHETS OF PROhFERlTY. Among the characteristic points of Mr. McKinley s ringing speech the other day, in accepting the renomination which entails upon him a very hard fight and desperate chances, was the prediction that, when the McKinley bill is passed, it will bring in an era of business prosperity surpassing any thing ihccountrv has vet known. This ; a. verv sataral declaration of the champion of protection, and may be re tarded as almost an essential article ol nts faith. Indeed, it seems to be the regular and necessary view of the champion of al most every policy, that it is destined to ush er in prosperity unalloyed and unrivaled. The silver men have declared that the pas sage of their measure will make the wheels of every Industry move to quicker time, and confer unbounded prosperity on the farmers; and some of the more sanguine of that cult have even gone so far as to claim that the prosperity is established before the Treasury has got its first month's purchases of silver stacked away in the vaults. The Farmers' Alliance people think that a golden age of business booms is waiting on the enactment of the sub-Treasury bill; while the legislators of the "old flag and an appropriation" class think that universal wealth is be had by any means which scatters the surplus most widely. . Predictions of that sort, therefore, leave us in the following dilemma: Either these measures will give us wide prosperity or they will not. If the prosperity comes we shall be afflicted by the difficulty of deciding whom we are to thank for it. If we credit the benefit to Mr. McKinley that will in volve ingratitude to the silver men and the surplus scatterers. The same trouble will prevent us from being grateful to any of them for fear of being ungrateful to the others; and the wore of conferring pros perity on the land will become a thankless one. On the other hand if this unbounded prosperity should not materialize the repu tation of these economic prophets would be more completely wrecked than that ot 'Wig gins or Verner as weather sharps. We think that the latter consideration should induce a little discretion in the roseate vie ws of our political prophets. "We have no desire to underrate any of their pet measures; but we think that a plentiful supply of natural gas in Pennsylvania and good crops in the "West would produce more real prosperity than all the measures that have come out of the brains of our present statesmen. TUB LABOR QUESTION IN PARIS. The sketch of the condition of the Paris workman, given in a special letter in this issue, from M. Jules Joflrin, one of the Socialist deputies, is a very interesting one. It contains several points which ought to suggest important reflections to all who are interested in the labor question in any part of the world. One of these points is the fact demon strated in Paris, that although the wages of the Pans workman have risen largely in the past fifteen or twenty years, the advance has been neutralized by the increase in the cost of living. M. Joflrin is right in saying than an "increase in the price paid for man ual labor is no safe criterion of the pros perity of the working classes." It is what the wages will effect for the worfcingman; the comiorts of living that they will obtain for him; and the consideration in society that he can secure by his work, that de termines whether the laborer is well or poorly paid. The specious plea by which trusts are supported on the ground that some of them give a slight increase in wages to their workingmen, while raising the cost of life many times m6re to the vast body of the laboring classes, is fully exposed by this fact. The influence which female labor has had on the social and political position of French women is rather peculiar to the French. There is something akin to it in the improved position of women in this country who are able to enter into the pro fessions, and take rank in work requiring mental labor; but it would surprise Amer icans to learn that women who work in the industries that are open to them by the mass, are more influential than if they were solely occupied as mothers and housewives. Indeed, the general opinion is so far to the contrary on this side of the ocean that most people seek for a remedy for the surplus of poorly paid female labor in the direction of increasing their employment in the domestic circles. A very valuable suggestion is conveyed in the statement that the municipality of Paris has aided the workingmen, by giving out contracts to workingmen's associations aud corporations, and even advancing money where necessary to make that a success. "We believe that this practice con tains the germ of the solution of many of the labor problems. The great cause of troble in .most labor questioas is the distinct division between the laboring classes and those who employ them. If the laborers were largely their own contractors, that division would be to a great measure lessened. Moreover there is a decided question whether there would not be a dis tinct economic gain in this method. Of course such a plan would not be prac ticable in all industries; bnt there are many in which investigation might show it to be not only possible but advantageous. In bnilding, for example, a contractor will take the job and distribute the various classes of work among sub-contractors, each of whom furnishes the workingmen, for each species of work. It might be salutary to inquire whether the profits that the various contractors and sub-contractors must have do not materially increase the cost of bnilding, and whether if associations of workingmen cpnld be employed to take contracts for work, of such sort, they might not at once lessen the cost of bnilding and secure themselves better wages. If an as sociation of common laborers were formed to take jobs of excavation, they would be likely to work with a better will than when they are paid by the day, no matter whether the work goes well or not. One of the vital economic questions of the day is whether the middle.man is not given by custom an excessive profit. As long as the middle man does his work more cheaply than any ono else does it, the presumption is on his side. Bnt the example of Paris shows that an experiment is being made there which suggests the possibility of bringing the workingmen into direct con tact with the consumer, in certain important lines of industrv. THE IRWIN MINER' APPEAL. The managers of the Westmoreland and the Penn Gas Coal Companies, operating at 'Irwin station, 'will do well to accept the the proposition ol President Bae, of the United Mine Workers of America, for the settlement of the strike. The situation at Irwin station is described temperately and, as far as we know, truthfully by Mr. Bae, and his offer to use his influence with the men to return to work pending arbitration of the matters in dis pute by three impartial men strikes us as very fair. The men ask for a raise in wages corresponding to that granted by all the other operators in the Pittsburg field. If there is any doubt about the justice of this demand impartial arbitration must estab lish it. CONSOLATION FOR FOBAKEB, The unusual and the unexpected are large elements in Ohio-politics- The Congressional convention at Gallipolls yesterday u an ex ample of this. Congressman Grosvenor 'aspired to 'represent the 'new Twelfth dis trict in Congress, and the convention seemed to favor him, and did actu ally nominate him. The election took place amid great confusion, and a second call of the roll resulted differently, Congressman Thompson being the winner. But the latter declined the nomination and turned it over to General Enochs, who is now the nominee. In this curious grand change the most significant thing is the ap parent victory of ex-Governor Foraker's friends. The defeat of General Grosvenor will be some consolation to Mr. Foraker, no doubt. The Twelfth district is one of the Bepnblican certainties, so kindly donated by the Democrats at thelast gerrymander. BLAINE ON RECIPROCITY. James G. Blaine made a speech to the United States in Waterville, Me., last night I) ike all utterances of his, it is most interesting reading. Actual novelty may be wanting, for the speech is an amplifica tion of Secretary Blaine's letters to Sen ator Frye on reciprocity, but as a luminous presentment of the policy to which the Maine statesman would commit the Bepnblican party, it is a most important speech. It is very plain that Blaine has no intention of allowing the public attention to be diverted from the reciprocity pro gramme. His arguments are couched in terms that the people can understand, and they cannot but create a profound impres sion upon the country. We are glad that such live ideas are furnished at a time when peanut politics and rowdyism are rife in Congress. LIGHT ON THE IRON QUESTION. Discussion of our industrial interests in the publio press is a commendable thing, and for that reason we are glad to see a dis position in the editorial columns of our es teemed cotemporary, the Baltimore Sun, to embark in periodical discussion of points connected with the iron industry. Such a disposition is to be encouraged on the ground that its articles are amusing to those who know anything abont iron making, are in nocuous to every one else and may in the fullness of time resnltin giving the esteemed Sun itself some information on the subject concerning which it is producing editorials. A short time ago we had occasion to notice the Sun't statement that the labor in a ton of pig iron amounts to only SI CO per ton, that blunder having been made by taking the official report of the labor at the fur naces to include all, the labor required to produce pig iron. The Sun't argument from that blunder was a free trade one. Its latest effort is to prove from the census re turns on the production of pig iron that Pennsylvania's lead in that industry must be transferred to the South. The argument is based on the following rather delicious statement. "That Pennsylvania still produces nearly one-half of the total supply is owing to a fortunate concurrence of circumstances. Without the discovery of natural gas, which has enabled her materi ally to cheapen prodnction, she could not at this day compete with the forges of the State of Alabama." Bnt this, the esteemed Sun proceeds to remark, is only a temporary advantage. "It is a serious question as to how long the supply of natural gas will hold out," and this dismal picture forthe Pennsyl vania pig iron industry is sketched in con clusion. "If the Pennsylvania supply were exhausted it would either force the iron mas ters to fall back on coal, or to remove tjieir plant to the Ohio or Indiana gas fields or to the South." This is interesting; although it might have been made more so by the addition of a few more features. If sun spots, or the J lateness ot the seasons, or the failure of the lumber supply, had been introduced as causes affecting the pig iron industry, it would have added picturesqueness and va riety to the Sun's deliverances on that im portant topic. It is to be hoped that our es teemed cotemporary will continue to study the iron question until it learns that natural gas has never been used lor making pig iron; that it is not failing; and consequently that its failure cannot transfer the pig iron in dustry to the South. PATTISON AND BALLOT REFORM. Ex-Governor Pattison has re-stated his attitude as to ballot reform. Nobody sin cerely had doubts abont it. Bnt the Demo cratic candidate must be prepared to meet all sorts of insincere accusations, and we suppose his reiteration of what everybody knew before is in this case a political neces sity. Standing upon the Scranton plat form, Mr. Pattison is not called tupon to say very much further about his desire for ballot reform, and what he does say pithily presents his views beyond all peradventure. The fact that he did not say anything upon this point spe cifically in his letter of acceptance is beside the question. The effort on the part of Mr. Pattison's opponents has been to create the impression that he was not in accord with the Democratic candidate for Lieutenant Governor, the Hon. Chauncey F. Black, as to the means of procuring ballot reform. Mr. Black is a more enthusiastic advocate of ballot reform, perhaps, than any other Pennsylvania statesman, but we do not be lieve that he is a more sincere friend of that cause than Mr. Pattison. The figures furnished by the Census Bnreau give Idaho, one of the most recently admitted States, a population of S1.U00. This is an indication of the mistake made ty admitting that pocket-borough State, when it has less than half the population entitling it to admis sion. On the present basis established by Re publican votes, a voter in .Idaho has over six times the influence on national legislation that a voter in the Twenty-second' Congressional district of Pennsylvania has. The report that the census electrical counter does not bring out the same figure twice from the addition of the same enumer ator's list Is calculated to produce the opinion that nothing about this unfortunate census is right. The New York Press denounces in vigor ous language the conduct of Representatives Wilson and Beckwlth in the House the other day. Our Republican extemporary should oc cupy a separate article in explaining why. It does not include in its denunciation that more prominent Republican, Mr. Cannon, of Illi nois, and the other Republican leaders who omitted to administer to the Republican mem bers that censure which they distribute so freely to the Democrats. Canned goods are going up so rapidly that the duty on tin will beconie a wholly un important matter. For the next year or so it bids fair to meet the Democratic requirement by being a taxation on luxury. A committee of a hundred citizens in Dayton, O., have'spent several months' in in vestigating the question of what is the best pavement. Their conclusion is in favor of asphalt on street where there are no car tracks or other causes to break the surface. Tne ap plication of this to Pittsbure is that if we can find any streets that are not occupied by car , tracks we should put asphalt pavement there. But that rule is not likely to throw block stone into disuse. The fact that a treaty of peace has been signed between Guatemala and. Salvador and that President Ezeta has agreed' to, it, should be an Inducement to onr pugnacious Congress men to go and do likewise. The colored men of Alabamahave formed a plan for their relief which beats the Farmers' Alliance sub-Treasury scheme, and adds new embellishments to the old promise ot "forty acres and a male." It Is to the effect that the Government shall give every colored man a farm and then loan them all tLOCO to be secured by a twenty-year'mortgage on the farms. Ms. John L. Sullivah- has laid aside his Congressional aspirations In disgust. He wonld scorn to belong to a body where they do their slugging with so little regard forthe rules. Eepeesentative Mills is alleged to be rousing the back counties of Illinois by his speeches on the tariff bill. Nevertheless there is room for an adverse construction on the re port, In connection with ope of bis speeches that "the farmers cheered until they were hoarse when Mr. Mills concluded." It is interesting and important to learn that Governor Beaver is able to give his warm and almost enthnslastio indorsement to Gov ernor Beaver's administration. Ix appears to be one of the hitherto un published features of Speaker Reed's new rules that savage remarks by Democrats are a violation of parliamentary propriety, while in decent remarks by Republicans are not to be censured. PEOHLNENT MEH AHD WOMEN. How. Miller CHAHBEBXiAiir, manager of the Boston Public Library for the past 12 years, has resigned on account of poor health. M. Db Gastk, the French champion of woman's rights, recently tried successfully to have his daughter, 40 years old, declared in competent to manage her own affairs. Jean Inoelow, who is SO years old, lives in retirement with her mother at Kensington, England. She writes bnt little, and devotes much of her time and income to charitable works. Mb. Paul bu Chatlltj is a thorough American, having been born in Louisiana, and net in France, as is commonly supposed. He is bald and over 60, but is still as gay and agile as a boy. , Tub craze for titles seems to have attacked the King ot Italy, ana ha talks of making him self "Emperor of' Erythrea and Eastern Af rica," because of his protectorate of Abyssinia and some colonies on the Red Sea. Mr. Cahneqie offered 10,000 to build a library in Ayr, provided the community adopted the Free Libraries Act. A plebiscite of the inhabitants was taken, and the result of the voting shows that, ont of 8,738 householders, 2,015 voted for the adoption of the act, and 123 against. Mb. ChatjkceyM. Dxfew sent a volume of his "After-Dinner Speeches" to theTrince of Wales. In an autograph letter, the Prince ac knowledges receipt of the book, pleasantly ad ding that a perusal of it will assist him in pre paring the numerous addresses he is called upon to deliver on ceremonial occasions. Bbitish royalty is inclined to scout with considerable asperity the statement that the present reigsine house is not entitled to the high-flown family name of Guelph. In marry ing Prince Albert, however, the Queen would naturally be expected to take his surname, and this is Wettln, the family name of the house of Saxony. Among the veterans who attended the recent Grand Army reunion! at Boston was John F. chase, of Augusta, Me who received 4S wounds by the explosion of a shell at Gettysburg. His right arm was blown off, and bis left eye torn from its socket, and he lay on the field two days before it was discovered that he was alive. He is now in comfortable health, ana receives a pension of 13 a month. Mrs. James Brown Potter, when In Paris, sat to M. Jan vanBeerst The result, "A Smile," is a sm all picture no bigger than the cover of a magazine. It was hung at Burlington House, numbered SSfl, and was bonght by Mr. Aird, M. P., for 400. It represents Mrs. Potter in a dress of the First Empire, looking pleasantly from the canvas at the spectator. It is one of the most expensive smiles on record. EDUCATION FOB IONEBS. Coal Diggers Take a Forward Step nad Fonnd nn Institute. rSFECTAE TZLX0RA1C TO TUB DI8PATCH.1 Mansfield Vallet, Pa, August 29. A mining institute for the education of the large mining population of this district in technical matters in mining has been established here with an initial attendance of 43 members. Their meetings will be held once a month until they become more settled. Roger Hartly, of Pittsburg, a coal operator, has been chosen President; Daniel Boden, Vice President, and J. F. Cook, Secretary. The people generally are very 'well Dleased at this forward step of the diggers of the dusky dia mond. Grasshopper Destroy an Orchard. Mabtinsvuie, August 29. A fine young orchard belonging to Fhll Blankenship, near Paragon, this county, has been entirely de stroyed by grasshoppers. These voraoious In sects first dennded thetrees of )eaves,then they commenced stripping the bark from the body and limbs of the trees. There is not a single tree in the entire orchard of 400 trees that is not ruined. THE DISGRACE OF THE HOUSE, BUFFALO Express (Rep.): The disputants have brought disgrace on their country and their party. Wilson, Cannon and Beckwith should be bundled, neck and crop, out ot the House. Providence Journal (Ind.): The conduct of business in the House of Representatives is becoming as ridieulous as it is offensive, and it is incapable of carrying on legislation even under the most tyrannons rules ever submitted to by a constituent assembly. TJtica Herald (Rep.): The Democrats are responsible for the disgraceful scene In the House yesterday. If they hadn't wasted so much time jn obstructing legislation Congress could have adjourned a couple of months or more ago. All the same the members im mediately offending should be severely spanked. Philadelphia Record (Dem.): Speaker Reed's rules are for politics, not for pnblio business. When Republican kickers oppose their operation their ineffectiveness is plain. The disgraceful scene In the House yesterday was a direct result ot the contempt for parlia mentary law and order inculcated by the Reed rules. New Yobs Herald (Dem.): Mr. Reed is the immediate guardian of honor of the chamber over which he presides. If he had been con scious of his high duty the Speaker would have ordered the offending member to the bar and reprimanded him in terms of such wither ing contempt that he would have been glad to withdraw from public life. BFBTNOriELD Republican (Ind.): The American peoole are wonderfully long suffering with tbolr legislators, and can excuse many shortcomings, but when Bepresentatives on the floor of the House so-far forget them selves as to indulge in pothouse vulgarity, call each other liars aud actually como to blows, patience ceases to have even a, semblance of virtue. The lower branch of Congress long ago demonstrated that it has outlived its use fulness for this session. Washington Post (Rep.): Yesterday's per f ormance eclipses every precedent in its vul garity, blackguardism and shameless disregard of all the decencies and proprieties of paarlla mentary body. It discloses a tendency to degeneracy and irresponsibility on the part of the House. Examples in point abound all through the session, and yesterday's but sur passes all the rest. No wonder there is a spirit of. unrest and indignation abroad that betokens the reconstruction of the popular branch of Congress on lines Jar different from those on which it is now well-nigh disorganized. Boston Merald (Ind,): As for the primary cause of the disturbance, we have no difficulty In ascribing It to the electric atmosphere of ir ritation and antagonism which Speaker Reed has created on both sides of the Chamber by hlslmpariousness and unfairness. It is plain that Mr. Reed has lost the respect of the House. Americans do not take kindly to a dictatorship. Mr. Reed's attempts at Absolut ism have put the House in an unruly noou.and this mood bore trnlt in yesterday's outbreak. He has been sowing the wind with a free hand; we are not sufprlsedthat 'he has had a little wniuwina ot disorder to reapj OUR SHORT STORIES. . rwnrmic vox thb msrATCiu HE KNEW WILSON BARRETT. TX7TLS0N BABBKTT'fl recent tour of the v United Btates filled that gentleman's ready mind with a stock of stories that it will take him a year to work off on his English friends. By that time he will be ready to come over here again. Mr. Barrett arrived in a Western city one evening a few months ago and upon leaving his train was confronted by an invitation to dinner. In order to facilitate matters the actor stopped in at a barber shop on his way up from the railway station and got into a chair for a shave. Before he had been lathered thor oughly the barber said: "You look a good deal like Barrett, the actor." Mr. Barrett looked attho man quickly, but noticing that he appeared serious, settled back in his chair with a half-questioning, "Yes?" 'Oh. yes," went on the barber, familiarly, "enough like him to be his brother; but you can thank yer stars yer not him. Good lookln' f ellar, but no man to him. not a bit." Mr. Barrett began to feel uneasy, but he said nothing. "An my private opinion is," continued the tonsorial artist, "be can't act." Mr. Barrett grunted. "An I bear he don't pay his comp " "What?" broke in Mr. Barrett. "Why, don't pay his comp'ny the people that's.rnade him, you know." 'Mr. Barrett coutd stand no more, bnt pull ing the towels from about his neck, he darted, half-shaved into the street. Everybody in the shop looked after the flee ing man, thinking him crazy. The barber watched him until he passed out of sight and then remarked calmly: "Dashed if I don't think that's old Barrett hisself." EQUAL TO THE EMERGENCY. it bexeubkb a negro in the Southern States, some years ago," said the old soldier last night, as he rested his war-worn frame in a chair at the Monongahela House, "who was very adaptable to circumstances. He was an old man. and when tired sunning himself on a log in the laneway, he was accus tomed to retire softly to the shade and doze. He had a class of 20 or so little boys, to whom he used to give Bible lessons, generally on Bun day afternoon. It was his practice to gi out on one Sunday the lessons to be prepared for the next. The old fellow was a little blind and a good bit deaf, and this fact induced the young fellows to put ud a joke on him. In the old boy's absence they glued two pages of the Bible together, and on the fol lowing Sunday, sat expectant of how their lit tle game would work-. The old tutor put on his '-specs," and giving a sympathetic glance at his class, opened the Bible at the passage about Noah's Ark, and began to read. Ha spelled out the lesson to the end of the page "and Noah took with him into the ark one of every kind," and so on'and one wife," and turning over, continuedrt'ahe was 113 cubits long and GO wide, built entirely of Cyprus wood, and pitched inside and out." "Foh de Lawd's sakel What a womanlex claimed the old darkey, glancing wonderingly over the book at his grinning class. He paused and pondered over the wonderful dimensions of Noah's wife for many minutes, and then said: "Boy, we mnsn't doubt anythln' the book says, but take it as the other passage f nrder on which says, "We are fearfully and wonderfully made." LETS HIS PROPERTY ALONE, Comb time ago a camp meeting was begun at Hollow Rock Springs, owned by an old fel low named Mayhew. Just after the religious exercises were started one ot the officers of the association went to old Mayhew and said: "Look here, old man, there is something the matter with that spring water." Think soT" "Yes, I know it. Tastes bad and smells awfuL" "Wall, I won't dispute your word. Man's got a right to his opinion in this here neighbor hood." "But can't something be doner "I don't know but thar mout." "What would you suggestT" "Wall, I reckon the best thing to do as a starter would be to take the dog out." Tako the dog out?" the officer gasped. "What do you mean?" "Mean you had better pnll out the dead dog an' give the water a chance to prove its Inno cence." "Is it possible that yon knew there was a dog in there?" "Of course I knowd it when 1 seed him in thar." "Why didn't you take him out?" "Wall, it's old Andy Patterson's dog an' me an' Andy ain't on good terms' you know. Andy Is mighty funny about bis property. I found the dog, the same one, in my springhouse once, an' I pulled him out an' pulled him putty hard too, an' Andy got mad an' chunked me round a good deal, an' since that I alius let his property alone." HARD TO FIT. 'They were walking along Fifth avenue, when one exclaimed in excitement and with much vehemence as io attract attention, "Oh! Just look therel What a horrid fit Miss La- vakolvlskonltzky's dressmaker's made. See how it bags and sags. Oh, myl It's a perfect fright, I can't " "Whose dressmaker?" abruptly exclaimed her companion who seemed a bit bewildered. "Why MissLavakolviskowitzky'a. of course." "Well how in the world do you expect a dressmaker to fit a name like that, anybowl" WILLING TO ASSIST HER. VT0bnin' madam 1 Want any combs, brushes, hairpins, table cloths, towels, lead pencils, tooth brushes or chewing gum?" The peddler put his hat on the floor and opened his pack as be asked the qnestlon. "No, sir," said the woman sharply, "and I don't want any dime novels, nor chalk eggs, nor 5-cent calico, nor tooth powder, nor pigs-in-clover puzzles, nor lamp wicks, nor eye salve, nor corn plasters, nor liquid blue." "Just so. And I suppose It's no use to ask whether you'd like to look at a bottle of wrinkie-fillin' for old complexions?" "Not a bit, sir, and I know yon haven't got any books on good manners, or you'd read 'era yourself occasionally." "None "ot the people I call on would ap preciate 'em, madam. And now if you think you would have no use for the Celebrated in-' visible ear trumpet that you can fasten in your kitchen window and bear everything your neighbors say, or the famous long-range kitch en telescope that will bring every back yard within half a mile ot your bouse so close to you that you can almost smell the pipes the men are smokin' on the back stoops, I'll be goln'." "Hold onf' exclaimed the woman of the house. "I don't know but I would like to bny those two articles, if they don't cost too much." "All right, madam," rejoined the peddler, "if I see any chap that's got 'em to sell I'll steer him ronnd thts way. Mornin' madaml" He picked up his hat, put it on his head side wise, and went down the steps whistling "Little Annie Roouey," leaving a large, crooked nosed, raw-boned woman standing on theporch and gasping in Inarticulate rage." DIED FBOH A BEE'S STIKG. A Cue at Syracaie That Has Puzzled the Physicians. rsrzcuL tblicbam to tub DISPATCH.! Sybactjsb, N. Y., August 29. Yesterday afternoon Alexander S. Baker, a wealthy stock raiser near here, was stung on the nose by a honey bee and died within ten minutes. Phy sicians say that it is one of the strangest cases they ever knew. Tblrty-two years ago he was stung on the back of his neck and nearly died from the effects. Since that time he had not had a pulse of more than 45 beats to the minute. Five years ago he was stung again and then sold his apiary. He was at the home of bis son when stung the last time. A COMPLETE SUCCESS. Tobacco Successfully Raised on the Red Gate Farm, New Jersey. BELVIDEBE, N. J., August 29. The experi ment of raising tobacco on the Red Gate farm, this year, bas been a complete success, and the crop was gathered the present week. Between five and six acres were planted and throve re markably well, the plants averaging four feet in height. . ' r Wben dried the crop will net 18 tons, which will be worth from 18 to 22 cents a pound, or a return of HOD to the acre. The experiment will oe conunuea anotner jw. A SHAKESPEAEIAK MEM0EIAL. Chicago Proposes to Erect n Bis; Theater and Revive Great Dramas. rsrXCIAL ID.IOBAM TO TBI DISrATOS.I Chicago. August 29. A scheme Is now on foot to duplicate in Chicago the elegant Shake speare Memorial Theater, which was built at Btatford in 1582, and make it the home of a permanent stock company of high class players. The leading spirit in this enterprise is Mr. John Stapleton, who for many years was DramaticDirector of the Chicago Conservatory. The plan has proceeded so far that a site has been selected-tbe lots on which the First Regiment Armory stands and the indorse ment of manv lA&rifn. Ptiicm hntu... .. has been obtained, among them being Charles . Sa.t?nJ?S0D- t the Ck Exchange Bankson of "Old Hutch" of the Board of Trade; War ren F. inland, of the Leland Hotel; Ferd W. eck, one of theleading men in the Auditorium Company; James W. Ellsworth, James W. Scott, LoIumbusR. Cumminc, Chas. Henrotin. F. H. watrlss and others. The aim and policy of the new theater will be to give high class repre sentations or plays, and, in keeping with the Charactflr nf th. t.n.a ... -I.. n.l.a.rnnA I ?n1ake,P6irian revival on a pretentious scale. -6ucu mat Dy auopung tnis policy mo theater cannot fall of magnificent financial success. Of the 15 theaters in Chicago every one Is filled to overflowing on the advent of first-class companies, and the only thing that makes some of them unprofitable Is that they cannot secure a sufficient nnmber of good at tractions. By constantly keening up the stan dard of the performances it is urged that the new theater cannot fail to secure a very profit able patronage from the outset. Tho house will have a capacity of only about 2,000. The site chosen is a very good one for a small thea ter of the character proposed, being in the heart of the business district and within easy reach of all the leading hotels of the city. CTJBBEKT TIMELY TOPICS. Aw exchange says that eeese are long lived creatures, frequently attaining the ae of 50 years. Bat come to think of It, this will be no news to many -frequenters of restaurants. t r t Columbus was a little over 70 days in dis covering America. It has taken the Chlcagoans a ranch longer time to discover a site for the fair, which proves conelnslrely that Columbus was a much smarter man than the Chlcagoans. t t t . A law should be Immediately passed charg ing an admittance fee to the House of Representatives.- It Is a great drawing card, and the moner thns received wonld help materially in assisting to pay the expenses in the long drawn out session. t t t The lovers of baseball bavo the satisfaction of knowing that the season Is rapidly drawing to a close. t t t It will hardly do to remove the bar from the Capitol. So long as we have Eenators the fashion of "bending elbows" will be In vogue, and It is much better for them to retire to a room than It will be to pass a bottle out of their pockets and wet their whistles in the presence of visiting friends. . t t The Dispatch is in receipt of the Con grtssional Record for Thursday, August 13, 1890. It will be filed away with the Kreutzer Sonata, labeled "unfit for publication." t t t Dumno a play In New York this week a real fish was cooked on the stage, and the theater was filled with the odor of real cooking, which made the majority ot people In attendance feel right at home. t t t The lard bill is the greasiest ever introduced in the House, and yel it may truthfully be said that it did not slide through easily, t t t The present campaign in Arkansas hag proven a real benefit to the colored population. Megro orators have been engaged, and many col ored people have been placed on the ticket. It is to be hoped that the white voters Will not forget their colored brethren on the dsy of election and scratch their names. t t t The Congressional Record should be denied transmission in the malls. Postmaster -W ana maker should do his whole duty la the matter. t t t John L. Sullivan bas displayed his his trlonle ability, and at the same time formally de clared that he haa surrendered prize fightlnt for good. Many people will be unkind enough now to Insinuate that John is sending out feelers for Congressional honors. HE CATCHES AND 8ELXS SNAKES. A Connecticut Boy Who Tarns an Honest Dollar by Dealing in Adders. A2T807TTA, August 29. A Derby boy has found an odd way of making a dollar. He was seen yesterday walking along the bank of the Nangatuck river with a glass fruit jar in his hand. .Every few minutes he wonld rapidly twirl a stick, which was apparently a whip lash on the end, and then walk on intently, eyeing the ground. Wben asked wbat be was looking for he said simply, "Snakes." In his fruit jar- he had several small striped adders, a poison ous snake, which has been quite a plenty here abouts this season. When asked wbat he did with them he said: "Sell 'em to ue bartenders." It is a fact that Derby saloonkeepers, wben they think a man has drank enough, qulotly slip a snake out of a jar and put It on the coun ter before the eyes of the inebriated customer. It is said never to fail in working a cure, and the man goes home and sobers up. The boy has caught aud sold 29 of the reptiles this season. A PECTJLIAE1Y SAB CASE. Elcht Members of a Family Die Within the Last Three Months. Muncte, Ind., August 29. A peculiarly sad easels reported to the State Board of Health from Rensselaer. A family four months ago moved from that place to Chicago. Three months ago one of the children died. Two months ago the husband died of sunstroke. Six weeks ago the family returned to Rensse laer, and. with various aunts and grandparents, making altogether 13 persons, occupied a fiver room house. Then one of the children took the diphtheria, and the physician, not recognizing the disease, took no step to isolate the patient. After it died, eight other members of the family were attacked, and five of them have already died Tbis makes a total ot eight members of the family which have died within the last three months. PLENTY OF COAL. ' Over Three Million Baabels fltnrted From PIttabarE and the Kanawha. Cincinnatt, August 29. The recent rains have made what rivermen term a towboat rise, and from the Pennsylvania abdKaaawha mines there is coming toward Cincinnati and the South a loncfleet of tow-boats and barges loaded with the black diamonds. From the Kanawha river 100,000 bushels are en route to Cincinnati for home consumption, besides probably an equal amount for Madison, Vevay. Rising Sun, Louisville and points below. The Pittsburg fleet bas over 3,000,000 bushels, and added to about 7,000,000 bushels stocked in the yards, this will give Cincinnati a fair sup ply for the coming fall. PHTSBUEBEES IK PHILADELPHIA Otheb Plttsburgers at the Lafayette are: J W. Friend, J. T. Wood, C. O. Morrow and w! D. Wood. D. Herbert Hostetteb Is a well-known Pittsburg young man at the Stratford. Phila delphia Press. Two well-known young men from the bnsy town at the junction ot the Monongahela and the Allegheny, are J. G. Vilseck and George Hopper, who are at the Girard, having just re turned from Atlantic City. John S. Lambie, a Select Councilman of Pittsburg, is at the Girard with his three daughters, Miss Lambie, and Misses Aimee and Annie Lambie. Mr. Lambie has long been a prominent figure in municipal and legal affairs in the Smoky City. deatIhs OF A DAY, John Slddons. Eocbistxr, N. Y., August 23. John Blddons. prominently known through the country as head of the John Slddons Roofing Company, dropped dead this morning. He leaves a wife, a ion, Charles s. Slddons, of Cleveland, and two daugh ters, lie was a prominent Mason. Mn. E. Korzcnbaam. .HPICIAL TXLldRAH TO TSX DISPATCH.! NkWABr, August 29, Mrs. E. Korzenbaum died at her home In this city this morning, aged 60 years. She was one of the best known and highly esteemed ladles In the city. She was the mother or 15 children, six or whom are still liv ing. Gibson Scott. - rSriClALTIHOKAM TO.THX DIBrATCB Gxxxkvtux, Pa.. August . Olbsoa'Scott, for many years a pomlnent citizen of this place, but recently of Canton, O., died suddenly this PRIZES AND BALLOTS, HOWTHEDISPATCH WILL ADD AFEATURE TO THE EXPOSITION. ' A Chance for Amateur Writers to Wis n Prize Every Week Voting on Popular Topics a Pleasant Amusement Walcb fr the Weekly Bulletins to be Announced llelarehand la the Saturday and Sunday Editions The Prize Offer and Voting 1.1st far the Opening Week. The Dispatch has perfected arrangements whereby it will be enabled to add a pleasant feature to the varied attractions of the Exposi tion from the onenlng to the closing day. Here are the preliminaries : .Room for headquarters at the Exposition has been secured in the commodious and attractive space occupied by tho Brunswick-Balke-Col-lender Company's billiard table display. The Dispatch booth will be located on a corner, giving it a frontage on two aisles, the whole space being surrounded by wide passageways, making it conspicuous and easy of access. Here all the (Ballots and Prize Essays of the voters and contestants will be received and ac curately recorded.' Opening Week's Balloting. The Exposition will open Wednesday Evksiko. September 8, at 8 o'clock. The Bui letin of Ballots and the Topic for the Prize Essay Contest for Wednesday evening and Thursday, Friday, and Saturday of the opening week follow. Vote Aye or Nay on the topics here suggested: WEDNESDAY EVENING'S VOTING TOBIC. Should all the Suburban Street-Car Lines run All-Hisht Cars? Open to Lady and Gentle men voters. THTJKSDAY'S "VOTING TOPIC. Should the Old Block House at the Point be removed to 8chen1ey Park, or should it re main where it is and the Point be turned into a Park ? Open to Lady and Gentlemen voters. FBIDAY'S VOTING TOPIC. Should the Allegheny Wharf be transformed into a Promenade and ParkT Open to Lady and Gentlemen voters. SATTJEDAY'S VOTING TOPIC. What is your choice of Sites for the Main Building of the Carnegie Free Library? Open to Lady and Gentlemen voters. How to Vote. In order to accurately test public opinion on all the topics to be balloted for during the Ex position, The Dispatch has decided to open a Poll Book for recording the Ayes and Nays, thus avoiding "tissue ballots" and "repeating." Voters will be expected to give tbeir names and addresses for entry in the Poll Book, and their vote will be set opposite, thereby ensuring ac curacy at all times. The Poll Book will open with the Exposition each morning and be closed when the lights are turned off at night. Ladies will be permitted to vote on all popular topics' in which they, as well as their fathers and brothers, are Interested. The Prize Essay Contest. The Dispatch each week will offer Frizes for the best Essays and Contributions on a topic to be chosen and announced, so as to give ample time for their preparation. The Prize Essay Contest for the opening week will be open only to Amateur Writers, professional newspaper and magazine contributors being barred. All Amateurs in Western Pennsylva nia can contest for the Prizes. OPENING -WEEK'S PE1ZE TOPICS. For the opening week The Dispatch will offer the prizes announced herewith for the best Descriptive Article on the Exposi tion as a whole. Articles must be general in character and deal with the instructive and unique features of the displays and attractions. No puffing in the line ot designating by name the exhibitors will be permitted. The features and attractions can only be referred to in a gen eral and Interesting way. Tho Prizes. For the best contribution on the above topic The Dispatch will award a prize of a TWENTr DOLLAR GOLD PIECE. For the Second Prize The Dispatch will award a Five Dollar Gold Piece. For the Third Prize The Dispatch will for ward by mail to the winner a copy of the Sunday issue of The Dispatch for One Year. THE CONDITIONS. Each article must make at least 800 and not more than 1,000 words. Competitions must be written legibly, on one side of the paper only, and mnst be labeled, "The Dispatch Prize Essay Contest, Expo sition Descriptive Article; closing Saturday, September 6, 3890." Contributions must be left at The Dispatch Headquarters,Brunswlck.Ba)ke-CollenderCo.'s space. Exposition Buildings. Correct name, address and age of contestant must accompany HSS., name only for publica tion if successful. The Dispatch reserves the right to publish any contribution, whether it be awarded a prize or not. The Prize Essay Contest for the first week will close with the Exposition on Saturday night, September 6. Watch for Second Week's Prize Topic and Ballot Bulletin. The Dispatch has secured neat little Souvenirs for presentation to all Lady Voters during next week's balloting. One will be a handy addition to the work-basket, the other will be appreciated during the long winter evenings soon to come. Ladles can choose from either. ECHOES FB0M THE STATE PSESS. KiTTANNlNO Globe: EJderberries are in great demand everywhere this summer. We wouldn't object if some of our Inends who owe us a couple year's subscription would square up with elderberries. We want some kind of an upper spread. Lancaster Examiner: Editor Campbell, of the Manheim Sun. who laa member of the bor ough school board, although a hopeless minor ity of one, showed good common sense In voting against a resolution requiring (teachers to board within the school district. Wellsville Democrat: A tramp minister held services at the schoolbouse in the Ger man settlement east of our village Wednesday. He was invited to spend the night with Charles Hom, a local preacier who resides there. The next morning while the family were absent be stole tbeir silver forks and decamped, HARKISBURO Independent: HarrUburg's old soldiers seem to be in earnest on the sub ject of taking care of themselves in political deals when the loaves and fishes are dealt out. as is shown in the determination to make them selves felt in local politics. Both parties are reproached by the veterans for neglecting them. Harbisbtog Telegraph: In the death of Victor E. Plollet Pennsylvania loses one of her best known and most distinguished citizens. In bis time he was a power among the people. He was aggressive, Courageous, of fixed con victions and of great mental activity, and these qualities he carried with him to his latest mo ments. OriiCiTT Derrick: A Cottage Hill resident on a still night can hear a man talk in an or dinarily loud tone ofoIce onJClark's Summit, provided he happens to be in the same atmos pheric strata. The distance between the two points is a half mile. A sham battle of artillery in the valley half way between would hardly be heard. The student of acoustics can solve the problem. ALTOONA Tribune: Three Pennsylvania judges have recently incidentally decided that the w'bolesale purchase of tax receipts by po litical committees is a violation of law, and that unless a voter secures a receipt not less than 30 days beforo the election ho cannot law fully vote. We are glad to hear this. Possibly it may aid the State and county committees to emancipate themselves from the unnecessary expense of paying, taxes for. men who ao not CUBI0US CONDEKSATIOSS. A snake two feet long wriggled ont of a mail box in Bridgeton. N. J.. Monday. A Kentucky mountaineer who sold his vote for SO cents bas been fined S175 and dis franchised, A bank in Springfield, Mass., received tor collection Saturday a draft from Chicago uyuu iarj;o corporauou iue o cents. The phrase "Zenith City of the TJnsalted 8eas," which made Proctor Knott and his Dulutb speech famous a few years ago, isn't In the speech at all. Gloves with webs between the fingers are a recent invention, intended to aid swim mers in getting a better purchase on the water than the bare hand gives. One of the New York Census Superin tendents says that the women enumerators did some splendid work. The men frequently got tipsy, but the women always had tueir census about them. In Florida sugar cane grows luxuriantly without fertilizing; and the average cost of preparing and planting a Bugar crop there Is f 10 per acre, as compared with SIS in Cuba and tU In Louisiana. It is on record that the Vanderbilts once gave a check for 700.(300 in a tremendous railway transaction, but that record is now beaten by the check for 1,250,000 said to be drawn In London by the Indian and Peninsular Railway Company. An interesting fact just ascertained by Government observers is that at the extremi ties of Long Island Sound the tide begins to now inward near the bottom one and one-half hours before it begins to flow in the same di rection at the surface of the water. The new census report of religious bodies in the United States shows that there aro 1H se cts, 'with 25.C0O,0OO members. The Method ists nnmber 5,000,000; the Baptists. 4000,000; tho Roman Catholics. 4000.000: the Presbyterians, 3,000,000, and the Episcopalians. 2,000,000. "Man wants but little here below," is certainly the motto of some natives in India. A man of 40 being recently examined Defore a magistrate at Bangalore stated that be earned daily a quarter of an anna (about ljd.) by bot tling ginger beer, and that be was quite satis fled with bis wages and position. Covering bullets with vaseline enables one to see them easily in their course from the rifle to the target, it is said. Tbeir trajectory Is marked by a beautiful ring of smoke, caused by the vaseline being ignited in leaving tho mnzzle of the gun. the smoke for some time being suspended in the air. A desperate horse thief in Maine, who escaped from jail, has been captured by boys. Discovering him, they gave chase and cornered him in a deserted house, where one of the lads drew a toy pistol and fired several blank cart ridges at him. The fellow then gave himself up. A carriage was obtained and he was re turned to jail by the triumphant youngsters. The total value of the imports and ex ports of the United Btates in the last fiscal year was $L617,192i011, the highest figures ever attained. The imports were S7SD,33j,8o3 in value, and the exports 5857,836,159. The raw cotton exports amonnted to i25L.00O.0Wl. The combined value of cattle, sheep and hogs ex ported was greater than ever before in a single year. There is an old colored man in Sanders villa who is known all over the countr as 'Lam." He is nearly 80 years old and has been blind almost all bis life. He runs the printing press for a Washington conntv paper, and can mend or arrange any part of the machine. He can find anything as easily as If his vision was not affected. His full name is Christopher Col umbus Choctaw Jordan, which he delights in repeating. Europe is soon to be entertained by a troop of Persian singers, wrestlers, boxers, equestrians, conjurers and mountebanks to the number of 60, who will give performances of a kind never yet seen in the great capitals. Most ot these gentry are banditti, whose local celebrity bas been earned as much by highroad exploits as by artistic performances, but a Rus sian impresario has banded tbem together, and begins his rounds with them at Odessa. The "Noon Best" is the title of an in stitution devised for the benefit of the business women and girls of Indianapolis by the Young Women's Christian Temperance Union. It Is a sort of woman's club .the rooms of which are open each day from 10 A. sr. to 3 p.m., where all yoncg women who work in stores and shops are invited to spend their noon hours. Tables are provided for lunches, and milk, tea, coffee ana cnocoiate are served lor 3 cents per cup. The Hastings Mill, at Victoria, is now shipping three pieces of square timber, each of which is SO feet long by three feet square. Each stick contains 6,480 feet, board measure, and will weigh from 12 to 13 tons. The three pieces are being loaded on two flat cars coopled together, the sticks lyine on four bolsters, two on each car those on the extreme end being fixed on a swivel and the center ones sliding, so tbat there will be no tronble in going round sharp curves. The timbers are consigned to Montreal, where they will be utilized as anchors for a large dredge. The quantity of meat thrown overboard into the Atlantic is very great, says an English paper. Out of 183 cargoes of animals sent to British ports in one yjar from Canada, consist ing of 01,093 head ofjcattle, 61.382 sheep, and 75 pigs, 60S cattle, 1,170 sheep, and 1 pig were con signed to the deep during the voyage. Of the 432 cargoes imported from the United States to this country comprising 138.661 bead of cattle, 30,317 sheep, and 17 pigs, L570 of the first, and 857 of the second class ot tkis live stock was thrown overboard during the voyage, thus numbering 4,858 animals which were pitched into the sea for tbe year. An automatic photographis machine has been invented in England. The patron after placing a penny in the slot, takes his stand in front of the lens and adjusts his position by a small looking glass placed above it. He leans against a post placed a few feet in front of tbe camera, and in about five sec onds the ringing of a bell announces tbe com pletion of bis sitting, while 40 seconds subse quently bis photograph is delivered to him by the machine, .requiring only half a minute's exposure to the sun or a lighted match to dry or finish it. An additional half-penny placed in a slot produces a frame for the photo. Three goats were horn in Cincinnati a few days ago. Two of them are perfectly nat ural, but the other is not so fortunate. Its body is natural except tbe head, which is double. It bas four eyes, two mouths, two tongues. Its ears are set back further than usual. While all regularlv formed coats have no upper teeth only a bard gum this one bas a set in tbe upper jaw of each head, making it have fonr sets of teeth. In the middle of the two head there is one eye-socket, with two eyeballs. The mother actually disowns It, pays no attention to it and seems to te utterly ob livious to the fact that it is her offspring. QUAINT AND QUISICAL. Miss Antique One of my great-grand fathers was1 a colonel in the Revolutionary war. 1 always heard It was your father." BacteU He What a beautiful moon that is, darling! Cooldyouaskforabetterone? She (tired of waiting for him to propose) Tea, George-a honey-moon. LtppineoW Magaiiru. Cbicagoan (to New Yorker) I say, now, didn't we push you In tbe census, though? New Yorker les; but didn't yourHsares in clude yoor estimates of the people wno may at tend the World's JTalrf Puet. "We have decided that the baby looks like Cnele Joseph," said the happy mamma. "Why, Joseph Harris is as ugly as a mud fence." Yes. but he Is worth iOOO,COO."-JCno Tort Sun. "lam glad to see more of yon lately, Miss Struckoyle. "Why, ilr. Dolley. yon have seen me often for six months or more." Yes; but lately you have been in full dress." Epoch. Porter Ton travel regularly now, I see, ah. Mr. Gotham (on the New York and Philadelphia Express) The doctor said I needed recreation. 80 I spend one day in' Philadelphia and the next la New Yorfc.-Pue. She (indignantly) I don't think yon give us girls creditor thinking of anything else bat dress. He (suavely) Ob. you wrongme! Idoglveyou credit for thinking of more than dresses. "Of what?" ' "Bonnets." poeA. Bunting Letme see if lean hypnotise yon, Larkin. . Larkln Go ahead. Bunting (after a few passes) At noon to-morrow you will hand me the SO too borrowed. Larkln (coming to suddenly) This is carrying a Joke too ixt.Hcv) Xork Sun. "What are yon stridgin' the poor feller np for?" asked a Texan, as became upon a lynch ing party. He 'lowed he'd sing 'Little- Annie Kooney;' an wecoulda't stophlm." 'jsv 'Sarvea bfia right! I thought nubbe he'd oaly. killed a, man or two." Charttstonlhvsituit' at