THE PITTSBURG DISPATCH. SUNDAY. ' FEBRUARY 23, 1890.
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PITTSBURG. SUNDAY, FEB. 28, 1S901
AS ADEQUATE CELEBBATI0N.
It is many year since Pittsburg has had
such a celebration of the birthday of Wash
ington as that of yesterday. The general
rule has been to confine the observance of
the day to the patriotic bankers and
brokers. Yesterday, however, the day was
appropriately marked by a parade of the
Jr. O. TJ. A. M., which held the attention
of the city for the greater part of the after
noon, and by the laying of a corner-stone
for a monument to the great patriot whose
birthday has been a holiday so long that its
fit celebration had fallen into desuetude.
The public acknowledgement is due to
the members of this order for the striking
manner in which they have revived the ob
servance of the day. It is especially a mat
ter lor public approval that their first effort
has taken a direction that is particularly
appropriate to Pittsburg. That is the rep
aration of the strange omission in this city
of any monument to the great leader who,
before he earned the title of Father of His
Country, had a fair claim to be recognized
as the founder of Pittsburg. It is hardly
creditable that such a commemoration has
been so long lacking. But our omission in
this respect is to be repaired, and the dem
onstration conveys the best assurance that
it will be fully and creditably made up.
The stimulation of patriotism is a great
mission, and the evidences that the Ameri
can Mechanics are discharging that mis
sion intelligently and judiciously are most
gratilying.
COUNTRY VERSUS CUT.
Colonel Thomas P. Ochiltree elsewhere
discusses the respective merits of country
and city in the production of statesmen.
The argument contains a good deal of
special pleading, or it would not have
dodged such examples as Sumner from Bos
ton, S. S. Cox and Samuel J. Tilden from
New Tort, W. D. Kelley from Philadel
phia, and Edwin M. Stanton from Pittsburg,
or credited President Cleveland on one side
or Alger on the other to any more rural dis
tricts than the cities of Buffalo and Detroit
respectively. Still there is enough in the
high character of statesmen who have risen
to eminence from the rural districts, to make
the cities do some serious thinking. Is it
not the fact that among farmers the choice
of statesmen is more likely to be for their
abilities than lor their serviceability to po
litical rings? ' If so, the cities can learn how
to amend their record when their politics
reach a high enough plane to produce the
general wish for representatives of ability
and high character.
THE GAI5 FROM LOW BATES.
The gain that comes from the Intelligent
reduction of rates for passenger travel is il
lustrated by the remarkable increase In traf
fic since the cable lines reduced their through
rates to five cents. The showing of the
Citizens' Traction Company that its receipts
are actually $2,000 per week greater than be
fore, sufficiently bears out the prediction of
The Dispatch that the reduction would
promptly justify itself.
The quick increase, both of gross and net
revenues in this case, contains an important
suggestion as to like possibilities. Of course
the most obvious suggestion is as to the sub
urban traffic of the railroads. The applica
tion of the principle is limited there by the
fact that growth of expenses keeps more
nearly in proportion with growth of traffio
on the steam roads than on the cable roads.
But there is no doubt that if the policy of
cheap suburban rates were carried to its ful
lest extent by the railroads, there would be
a growth of business far beyond the experi
ence of the past.
s This testimony ought also to convince the
traction roads that there is a possible gain
for them in the further reduction of short
fares. If the reduction on the longer
fares has doubled tbat branch of
tbeir business, the reduction of the
shorter hauls to 3 cents or commuta
tion tickets, would probably create an even
greater gain. The logic of one case applies
to the other; but perhaps the extraneous
force which induced the first reduction may
have to be waited for until the transit lines
..feel the power of competition on their
shorter fares as they have already felt it on
their longer ones.
When that is the case we may look for
3 cent fares between the down-town portion
of the city and the residence quarters of
Lawrenceville, Oakland and Birmingham.
EDUCATIONAL LAWLESSNESS.
The college youth is especially busy at
this present time, in the task of demonstrat
ing himself to be an ass. If he were con
tent to write himself in large characters a
plain, inoffensive donkey it would not much
matter. The confraternity of ordinary fools
is so large that the reinforcement of a ma
jority of the undergraduate interest would
not change the balance one way or the other.
But when the beneficiary of scholastic in
stitutions and endowments displays himself
with much pains as a blackguardly and law
less fool, it is high time to take measures
with him.
The mildest form of undergraduate idiocy
manifested itself the other day at the neigh
boring institution of Washington and Jeffer- I
son. ; here an entire class took it into their
beads to "cat" recitations, and were sur-
prised to find themselves promptly directed
to cut college altogether. The same spirit
carried to more offensive degree broke out at
Cornell recently, where the students or one
class kidnaped the chairman of another
and kept him prisoner for days. This is the
policy of brigandage without its excuse of
gain; butin,tbe line of wanton criminality, it
was surpassed by the act of some students of
Lafayette College, in cutting loose from the
-train a car filled with students of another
class and leaving it on the track in a good
position to cause a railway slaughter.
The act of the Washington students was
the least obnoxious of these freaks. Those
who perpetrated it harmed no one but
themselves and are sufficiently punished by
expulsion. But the idea common to ail
these acts, that it Is funny to be lawless,
and smait to infringe upon the rights of
others, requires a very sharp correction. It
is clear that the education of text books on
the duty of obeying the laws and respecting
personal rights is wasted on these scholastic
youths. More practical instruction is re
quired, and, as the State furnishes that
kind of instruction, the collegiate kidnap
ers and train-wreckers should have the
benefit of it, with the amendment that is
under discussion, permitting their redun
dant vitality to be exercised in the labor of
constructing much-needed public roads.
In other words, when lawlessness and
blackguardism by college students is pnn
ished with the penalties of the law that ap
ply to humbler lolk. lawlessness and black
guardism among college students will come
to a very sudden stop.
THE POSTURES OF THE AST0ES.
The death, yesterday, of John Jacob Astor,
grandson and namesake of the original
John Jacob, the founder of the Astor fam
ily, brings to mind the marvelonsly rapid
development of the United States. Not
much reliance can be placed on newspaper
estimates of the wealth of individuals, but
if the report that William B. Astor, who
died in 1875, left an estate worth $200,000,000
is at all an exaggeration, it is probably not
so enormously so. The suggestive fact
about the Astors' wealth is that it has
had little, if any, relation to Wall street
operations, to watered stocks, or to
"trusts" or combinations for cornering com
modities in general demand. After the first
$20,000,000 which was amassed by the
original John Jacob in the fur and foreign
trade, the bulk of the immense fortunes of
the house of Astor is to be credited to the
growth in values of New York real estate.
This in turn was due to the expanding
basinets of the country which demanded
facilities for business at the great seaport
and commercial metropolis of the East; so
that the wealth of the Astors represents
much more closely the natural growth than
the accumulations of the Vanderbilts, or of
Jay Gould, which date from a more recent
period, and which are due to more violent
speculations and adept maneuvering.
It is but little over one hundred years
ago since the first Astor was working at two
dollars per week for a fur-beater in New
York. Of course Jay Gould's transactions
in mouse traps seem, by comparison, rela
tively modern history; but it is the accre
tions of the Astors which illustrate best the
rise of New York, and it is the proportions
which New York has taken on in an hun
dred years which typify, on the most mag
nificent scale, the development of the ma
terial resources of the country.
Mr. Gladstone, we believe it is, who has
just put himself on record in the prediction
that within the next one hundred years the
United States will number six hundred
million inhabitants! Think of it! Nearly ten
persons for every one there is now! Imagine
if possible, cities ten times as large or even
on the same scale as at present, but ten
times as numerous. Fancy ten times or
rather many more than ten times the rail
roads, the telegraph wires, the schools, the
churches, the newspapers, the doctors, the
lawyers, the statesmen, the varied indus
tries we now have! It staggers conception.
Fortunately there is a vast deal of country
for these enoimous accretions to scatterover
yet. It would be eminently inconvenient.for
such enormous growth to concentrate wholly
on existing lines.
Seeing what has happened in thi last hun
dred years, who can doubt that the prophecy
of six hundred millions for 1990 is plausi
ble? One of the regrets of our generation,
standing midway between 1790 and 1990,
must be that the longevity of the antediluv
ians is not permitted us, so that those now
living might have a glimpse of this most
astounding and unprecedented growth of a
nation, the assurance oi which is plain and
reasonable enough. There is surely no topic
of more material interest, more curious or
fascinating to the speculative mind.
RESPONSIBILITY FOB THE EVIL.
The unquestionable proof that Graham,
the Chicago court official, who jumped his
bail in order to escape trial, had been en
gaged in the regular business of fixing up
juries in the interest of parties, for a consid
eration, moves the Chicago Inter Ocean to
some very weighty and pertinent remarks on
the subject. That paper intimates that such
a business could not Sourish unless it was
patronized, and does not scruple to disclose
its belief that the patronage which made
jury-packing a profession came from those
eminent examples of rich respectability, the
corporations. If none but poor criminals
could be bled, the business would be less
profitable than honesty; but because wealth
is willing to hire the briber of juries, that
work is done.
The same principle maybe found to work
in the case of corrupt influences about Leg
islatures. The capital of the country draws
its skirts away from contact with the men
who make it their trade to buy legislators.
But it is political and corporate history that
the lobbies which do these things are always
hired by the great corporations. Except
where corporate interests have legislation to
secure or defeat the lobby is almost an un
known quantity. But the organization of
the wealth and respectability of the coun
try in corporations, supports and maintains
'ibis festering sore upon the body politic
These two things show a very grave re
sponsibility for the rich, and especially for
the rich corporations. Their employment
makes possible the corruption of justice and
the corruption of lawmakers. Their refusal
to pay for such foul work might make it
possible to abolish such evils.
NONSENSE ABOUT THE NEGE0.
A Boston man proposes to solve the
negro question in the South by moving all,
or at least five or six millions, of the negroes
to the West, permitting them to found two
States and show what they can do in the
line of self government. This is undiluted
nonsense, for two reasons. In the first place
the negroes are entitled to the aid, advice
and, leadership of the more intelligent of
their fellow citizen?, white or black. In the
next the declaration that the South wants
to get rid of them is a shallow humbug.
Southern statesmen may talk that way for
political effect; but the moment anyone
commences aa organized movement to ,get
the negroes to emigrate, at once the
South proceeds to place its lawless veto
on any disturbance of its labor. The faet Is
that the South would more deeply resent
any attempt to deprive it of its negro labor
than the attempt to educate and elevate that
labor.
The story that Mr-Cleveland met with an
ejaculation some of the attempts of his sup
porters on election night to argue that hope
might still be obtained from Michigan and Illi
nois, causes a Republican organ to ask, "Did
Mr. Cleveland really indulge in profane lan
guage T" Considering that the story Is that he
linrled the big D. at an attempt to keep up the
claim1 of victory after defeat was evident, the
attempt to mane it appear tbat he used profane
language over his defeat, is not less mean tbat
it is idiotic.
"Washington's birthday bore fruits
yesterday in the development of a plan to raise
a memorial to independence at Philadelphia as
well as in the laying of the corner stone of the
Washington monument in Pittsburg. The
rood work is going on briskly.
The statement tbat the Louisiana lottery
wilt next attack the Montana Legislature calls
forth from the Philadelphia Press tho remark
that the attempt to get a lottery charter in
Montana will be balked by constitutional pro
hibition. We hope this is trne; but the
esteemed Press need not go outside of Penn
sylvania to discover tbat constitutional pro
hibitions can be nullified, if the corporation
seeking to do so is only strong and rich enough.
It is reported tbat the Chinese are flock
ing into Siberia in such great numbers that
the Government is shutting them out. It
must be tbat tbe Chinese do not afford enongh
amusement to tbe Russians by committing sui
cide after a flogging.
The statement that Bismarck has revived
his old policy of threatening to resign, recalls
the fact that he often used tbat method of car
rying his point with the present Emperor's
grandfather. But the characteristics ot office
holders are shown to be similar in Germany to
America by the fact that tbe first Emperor
died in old age before Bismarck really got re
signed. TALK is once more heard of Robert Lin
coln for President in 1892. There seems to be
good reason for concluding that, if we are to
continue to choose Presidents on tbe ancestral
plan, it might be wise to try a variety of an
cestors. Afteb the Chicago stockyards have been
carefully unloaded on our British friends, per
haps it will be no longer necessary for the rail
way kings who have heretofore held a con
trolling interest in tbat establishment to so
manipulate tbeir rates as to force all the live
stock and Deef business ot tbe country to pay
tribute to just ex&otly those stockyards.
The Bepublican gag tactics in tbe Na
tional House of Representatives are adopted
with glee by the Democratio majority in the
West Virginia Legislature. This illustrates
the difference it makes whose ox is gored.
The announcement of a city cotemporary
that tbe "Festival of Dogs" has begun at one
of the East End churches leaves the reader in
a painful doubt as to whether the canine race
partakes of the occasion in an active or pas
sive sense. In other words, are we to hope that
the does enjoy it or that they are 'enjoyed a la
Chinoist
f
The man who takes dynamite home and
dries It on tbe stove makes his appearance reg
ularly in the newspapers. The cibo up in
Greensburg yesterday was attended with the
usual fatal res alts.
The announcement that a new building
is to be put up on tbe site of the Willey build
ing makes it pertinent to express tho'hope that
the new structure will be built more carefully
than the old one. The terrible object lesson as to
the results of undue haste will probably insure
more deliberate and lasting work in this in
stance. An airbrake for cable roads will be an
improvement for tbe benefit of tbe public Tbe
completion of such an invention by the West
inghouse Company will earn the public appre
ciation. The Jr. O. U. A. M. left nothing to be
desired, and nothing to be criticised, in the
magnitude or complete arrangements of
their celebration of the memory of
Washington. They can only outshine them
selves when it comes to the unveiling of the
monument.
With the report that the surplus has
vanished before the vigorous attacks of tbe job
bers enables us to maintain the hope tbat the
price of whisky and sugar will remain undis
turbed. It i3 reported that competition among
tbe crematories of Paris has grown so active
as to reduce the oost of disposing of a corpse
to the cheap price of 0 cents. Under tbe
operation of this economic force, death has
ceased to be a luxury and has become a neces
sity. The French Cabinet mildly shows tho
young Duke to the doorand dismisses him with
a hint that he need not call again until he is
nvited.
Some one claims to have detected Hark
Twain in plagiarism. Considering that Mark
has not written anything lor some years, he
must have plagiarized from tbe vast multitude
of people in past ages who presented eminent
examples of doing nothing at all.
PEOPLE OP PROMINENCE.
Me. Gladstone Is in bed with a bad cold,
but anxious friends are assured be will be all
right in a few days.
Philip Sousa, director of the Marine Band,
of Washington, has written an opera which De
Wolf Hopper thinks of producing. It is ap
propriately called "The Wolf."
Ms, Talbot, tbe father of the English House
of Commons, was wealthy as well as old and
eccentric He bequeathed 2,000,000 to one
daughter, 1.000,000 to another, 800,000 to a
third, andl,000,000 to a grandson.
The Empress of Austria is the best house
keeper among European royalties. She em
ployes 60 cooks 25 men and 25 women. Bhe
pays strict attention when iu Vienna to the
details of ber huge household and is a very
clever manager.
Mb. William Morris, the poet, is robust
abd square-built; he has shaggy hair, and he
delights in rude -apparel. -He lores the sea,
and nothing pleases him more than to ba mis
taken for a sailor; in fact, his appearance is
somewhat nautical.
The Bov. Moses D. Hoge, D. D., will, on
Thursday next, complete his forty-fifth year of
service as pastor of the Second Presbyterian
Church, at Richmond. Va. It is the only
charge be has had, and he its only pastor. A
great public demonstration will mark the anni
versary. 'Massachusetts has two distinguished citi
zens named Rice. Alexander H. has been in Con
gress and Governor of the Bay State, and two
or three times he has come near being ap
pointed a Cabinot Minister. He is a dealer in
paper In Boston, and one of the largest in the
world. He is often confounded with William
W. Bice, who for four terms was a quiet mem
ber of Congress from the Worcester district.
Thomas Nelson Paqe, in a paper read
before tbe Nineteenth Century Club recently,
said that in the South poetry, in many respects,
had not kept pace with prose. Dialect had un
doubtedly been used by Southern writers to
'excess, hut there was much to be Said in its
defense, and in defense of those who used It.
On tho whole, tbe Sonth presented to-day a
field for literature such as could not be found
elsewhere, and she conditions for a literature
existed there as they did not in any other sec
tion or country.
One or Bismarck's Goad Deeds,
From the Chicago Herald.
Emperor William has been dissuaded froth
publishing volume "of poems which he wrote
'when a young man. Truly Bismarck is a' Won'
derf ul diplomatist.
THE TOPICAL TALKER.
No Flats in Pittsburg nml the Probable
Reason Why A Reminiscence Abont
Sir. Studies- Tho Newsboy Idea of
Big Men What of That.
A correspondent, evidently a lady, but who,
singularly, is not courteous enough to
sign ber name, asks me: "Are there any flats or
apartment bouses in either ot tbe cities? If
there are not, what appears to be the reason?"
This anonymous query is worth answering
because it is often asked, and for other reasons
which will appear later on. Competent author
ities inform me tbat there are, properly speak
ing, no "flats," as the term is understood in
Dew York and other large cities where such
buildings are numerous, in either city. There
is an apartment house in Allegheny and an
other in Pittsburg but neither of them are
considerable affairs.
Why there are not flats in these cities is not
an easy question to answer. One suggests tbat
it is because the people of Pittsburg and Alle
gheny are fond of homes in tbe shape of whole
houses. But so are people in New York, and
they have taken to flats because house rents,
as many think tbey are here, are outrageously
high. The fact seems to me to be that the ad
vantages of the "flat," its coziness and conven
ience, especially for a small family, are not un
derstood here. There are enongb Pittsburg
ers, however, who have seen the "flat" In New
York, Chicago or elsewhere to make a big flat
building a profitable Investment, if it were
built in a good situation. Near the parks in
Allegheny would be a favorable site. Central
Park in New York is belted with flat and
apartment houses.
.
JH. Bowe, the veteran actor, said to me
yesterday: "I saw that sterling Amerioan
actor, J. B. Studley, at tbe Bijou Tneater last
night, which brings to my mind tbe burning of
tbe Brooklyn Theater about 13 years ago. Mr.
Studley was the Jacques Proehard in The Two
Orphans' on that occasion. A number of panic
stricken people who rushed over the stage
from tbe front of the honse, and in their fright
lost all control of themselves, could not find
their way ont of tbe burning building. On
seeing Mr. Studley they appealed to him for
help, and while he himself had a narrow escape,
he managed to pilot them safely out of the
theater. I remember on one occasion after
this at tbe old Bowery Theater, New York, his
reception must have lasted two minutes by the
watch.
"His performances of Ludovico, Matter
Walter, Ingomar, Pierre Michel, Bill Byket
and other parts Safely stamp him as an artist
in the full sense ot tbe word; a thorough stage
manager, a creator of parts, an actor, a scholar
and a gentleman, and as full of talent as a
watermelon is foil of seeds."
To all of Mr. Bowe's enlogy lean say amen.
CeverAL theatrical managers in near-by
towns have asked tbe Sewickley Valley Club
to repeat their excellent performance of
"Esmeralda" for the filthy but almighty dol
lar. But faithful to their traditions, and it
must be added, with a proper sense of the fit
ness of things, tbe Sewickley amateurs have
declined to play for rewards more substantial
than applause.
One manager in an Ohio river town offered
the club a certainty of 500 cash, which is a
good deal more than the average professional
company can drag out of that town, let me tell
you. The manager knew well enough he could
get his money back.
'THE dozens of bands which assisted tbe gal
lant Mechanics yesterday in honoring the
memory of Washington achieved an extraor
dinary triumph. It was not tbe amount of noise
tbey made, nor tbe skill of individuals or
groups of players whicb startled me, and lots of
otbers, no doubt. They played actually some
new tunes marches which had not been heard
five hundred and fifty-five thousand times be
fore. Of course tho old tunes, orsoms of them,
are welcome. General Sherman says he's
slightly weary of hearing "Marching Thro'
Georgia," and mere civilians may be allowed to
say the same of other notable marches.
For myself I like tbe stirring' war quicksteps,
and it is not of them tbat I complain by infer
ence, when I applaud the appearance of new
measures in the repertoire of our brazen bands.
But there are some terrible old-timers among
the marching airs popular with local musicians,
and for their removal there will be sincere
thanksgiving.
XJJnsxt President Harrison was in this city
last week a conversation took placn be
tween two newsboys on Diamond street, which
deserves to be reported.
"Goin' tcr see der President to-night,
Blacky ?" said one boy to the other.
"What f nr ? I doan know der President"
"But he's a mighty big man."
"Big, is he ?" repeated tbe boy called Blacky,
contemptuously. "Big, is he ? 1 seen his pict
ure, an' he ain't so high" and he raised a
blacking brush to a level with his head, and
then went on: "No. slrree if I wan' Iter see
big men I'll take a squint at Chris Magee, or
Dan Silvis they're big, they are I"
'The newsboy's lack of reverence reminds me
.of a story told about tbat queer old char
acter. Joe Shriver, who kept the hotel in Econ-
I omy in the days when that quaint place was
peopieu Dy .Cjconomues.
A sleighing party drove up to tbe hotel one
evening, and while supper was being prepared,
one of the ladies, who had known Economy
since childhood, had the temerity to approach
the little deu where Mr. Shriver secluded him
self. She said tbe old man looked so lonely that
she would try to cheer him up. She did all tho
talking, bhe told him about all the people in
the world outside be bad known as children,
and she particularly enlarged upon tho good
fortune of one man, wbo as a small boy
Shriver bad often seen. This man bad been ap
pointed to a rather high place in the diplomatic
service of tbe United States. She described the
importance of the consulate, its dignities and
emoluments, and wound up quite an eloquent
little speech with, "And, Mr. Shriver, every,
body calls Mr. Consul now I"
Mr. Shriver looked up for tho first time and
said querulously: "What of that?"
Bepbubn Johns.
A PET BAT'S COSTLY PRANK.
He Sets a New York House on Fire, Caus
ing a Loss of 8500.
New YORK, February 22. The Terkuloskl
family, living OP tbe first and second floors of
tbe house No. 377 Grand street, consists of
Louis, the father, his wife and three children,
and, until yesterday, a large, overfed rat. Now
tho rat is dead. The rat made its appearance
several months ago and its peculiar antics so
amused the Terkuloskls tbat they decided to
make it one of tbe family. Yesterday morning
tbey were sorry for it About 6 o'clock the
family were awakened by the smell of smoke,
and on investigating tbey found the partition
wall, in wblcb the rat lived, in flames. Louis
ran to the- front door and yelled "fire," while
his wife sat in a chair and screamed as if ber
life depended on it.
The firemen came, and when the place had
been damaged by water abont 500 wortb, tbe
fire was subdued. The rat was found between
the casings of the wall, burned to death.
Beside it were found tbe remnants of several
matches, and it was evident that In some man
ner the rodent started tbe fire by chewing on
tbe sulphur, Mr. Terkuloskl says he will have
no more rats in his place, as tbey come too high
at S500 each.
ALL THE CLOCKS SET BACK.
The Cltr of Cincinnati Much Starrer Than it
Used to Be. ,
Cincinnati, February 22. At noon to-day
tbe city adopted standard time. Heretofore
all business, except that of railroads and tele
graphs, was done by local time, which is 22 min
utes faster than standard time. The clocks are
all turned back and churches, schools, stores
and factories are all adapting themselves to tba
new standard.
Some of the churches change the thnur of
meeting service .from 11 to lOvJO. The banks
have agreed to continue tbe same hours, from
10 to 3, thus setting tho day's work back 22 min
utes. Goello Instead of English.
ToEONTO.February 2Z Senator Maclnnis has
introduced a bill in the Canadian Senate to
make Gaelic an official language.
DEATHS OP A DAY.
John Crci.
:f rEniAt. tklkokam to tiIx DisrATrm.t
CHAMBEBBDUIiO, February 23. -John Cree died
here to-day, aged 85 years. lie was prominent In
all local religions institutions, and bad been an
eloei1 lri the Presbyterian Church for k5 years. Be
was the falberiof James Oree-of Fittsburg, and
Thomas K. Cree, International Secretary of the
Young Men's Christian Association.
OUR FLAGSHIP QUARANTINED.
Tbe Chlcogo Detained nt Morocco ou Ac
count of La Grippe.
r6rXCIAI TELEQBAM TO THE DISPATCH. 1
Annapolis. February 22. A letter received
bere from on board the United States ship
Chicago, the flagship of the squadron of evolu
tion, dated Toulon, France, February 5. says
that vessel was quaran Uned at Tangiers, Moroc
co, on account jf la grippe, there being 30 cases
on board. There have been about 200 cases on
the vessel altogether. From Tangiers tbe
Chicago went to the Bock of Gibraltar, thence
to Cartbagenla, Spain, where liberty was given
the men. The Cartbagenians seemed surprised
at tbe presence of so'many blue jackets. From
Cartbagenla tbe Chicago steamed for Port
Mahon, Island of Minorca, which was reached
on tbe morning of the 22d.
Port Mahon is a pretty place. Tbe entrance
to the barbor is narrow, and winding through a
deep opening into a pretty sheet of water
about 500 yards wide, bounded on one side by
beautiful green-clad bills, tbat slope gently
down to tbe water, and on tbe other by rocky
walls tbat rise abruptly from tbe water to the
height, in some places, of f uliyiSO feet, beyond
which Is comparatively level and upon which
the city is bult. Tbe bouses are all built of
stone; so are tbe flooring and foundations, the
only woodwork being tbe shutter;, which are
Invariably painted green.
The Chicago left Port Mahon on the 2d in
stant, leaving the Yorktown behind to bnry
tbeir Orderly Sergeant of Marines, who bad
died tbat day of pneumonia. The Yorktown
arrived later. Tbe Chicago has sailed since fur
Ville Franche.
NOT FEELING THANKFUL.
An Action of a Lutheran Conference Tbat
Excites Comment.
Chicago, February 22. The recent action of
tbe Illinois Conference of tbe Swedish Luther
an Church, now In session at Rockford, 111., is
exciting considerable comment among the min
isters of all denominations in this city. A reso
lution thanking God for tbe general prosperity
of the last year was defeated by tbe farmer lay
delegates on tbe ground tbat tbey had experi
enced no great amount of prosperity. Dr. A.K.
Parker, of tbe Centennial Baptist Church,
when questioned concerning the curious action
of the Conference, said: "In all probability
there was some flaw in tbe wording of tbe reso
lution, not now apparent, which caused its de
feat. It is hardly possible tbat a gathering of
Christian gentlemen would refuse to offer due
thanks to God."
"If there was no prosperity, as claimed by
the farmer lay delegates," said Prof. David
Swing, "you could hardly expect them to give
thanks. It Is safe to say that the farmers
couldn't be expected to vote tbanks to God for
prosperity it they hadn't had any, whether
spiritual or agricultural. Tbey have the ex
ample of Dr. Beecher, Henry Ward Beecher
father, on this. Dr. Beecher and bis family
were in his carriage riding, near Batavla. O.,
years ago, and tbe horse ran off and tumbled
them all out. Harriet Beeoher at once fell on
her knees to offer thanks to God for their mir
aculous preservation. Dr. Beecher, observing
her, said: 'You needn't thank God for me, for
I'm badly hurt.' The moral is tbat you need
not thank God for blessings unless you bave
received them."
HARD ON THEATRICAL TROUPES.
An
Interstate Commerce Decision May
Force Companies to Quit tbe Boad.
Baltimore, February 22. In regard to the
decision of the Inter-State Commerce Commis
sion, m the case of tbe Pittsburg,
Cincinnati and St. Louis Railroad against
tbe Baltimore and Obio Company,
announced yesterday. Manager Ford said
this evening: "The loss to theatrical companies
by a change of railroad fares from 2 cents to 3
cents a mile, will be such that a great many
now on the road will be compelled to give np
before the end of tbe season. The decision, if
sustained, will cost tbe larger companies from
515,000 to 320,000 a Reason, which virtually wipes
out all the profits."
Vice President Lord spoke as follows: "In
advance of the receipt ot an official copy of the
decision of the Inter-State Commerce Commis
sion. I am unable to say what will be the action
of the Baltimore and Ohio. Tbe tickets bave
not, however, been on sale for points east of the
Ohio river for a long time past, and were good
only within the lines of the Central Traffio As
sociation, or between the Ohio and Mississippi
rivers. At least 20 roads, and perhaps more,
bave been selling the tickets in question, and
the suit against the Baltimore and Obio was in
the nature of a test case. Whether we shall
abide by the decision of the Inter-State Com
merce Commission, or shall go into court and
contest tbo question, will not be settled until
after tbe decision is received."
FIRMING OUT FKEAK8.
A Museum Trust to Control All tbe Curlosl
tles in the Country.
New York, February 22. The rumor of a
"Dime Museum Trust" Is not a freak of fancy.
Mr. W. H. Graham, an investor of English
capital, and two other Wall street brokers,bave
formed a financial syndicate to buy and man
age all tbe large dime museums in tbe country.
Tbey will hire and control all the valuable "liv
ing curiosities" and all tbe important "freaks
of nature" in tbe United States. The news has
aroused a good deal of curiosity among tbe
public and a good deal of excitement among
the "curiosities."
One of the owners of a Grand street museum
said last evening: "The syndicate has offered
us 520,000 for our place of amusement, which
we will not sell for less than S30.0UO. Tbe trust
will own three dime museums in New York,
it will bave two museums in Chicago, two in
Philadelphia and one in every otberlarge city
In tbe country. The syndicate has an enor
mous capital, and will make long contracts
with all the first-class "freaks" in the country.
It will employ them 63 weeks a year, exhibiting
them from fall to spring in its own museums
and farming them out to circuses and side
shows in-the summer."
AUNT ELIZA AND THE ORGAN.
Her Opposition to Instrumental Music
Causes n Lnwsulr.
NEW Philadelphia, O., February 2Z
Prof. John Orth, of this place, sold the Metho
dist Episcopal Church, near Port Washington,
an organ, the instrument to be paid for when
there was enongh money in the treasury. A
very eccentric and pious old lady known all
over tho neighborhood as "Aunt Eliza," is bit
terly opposed to church organs. There is where
the trouble began. She attended divine ser
vices regularly, but the moment the organ be
gan playing "Aunt Eliza" would walk out and
sit on the chnrcb steps with her fingers in her
ears until it ceased and then returned for the
sermon. To put an end to all tbe trouble the
church trustees carried tbe organ out and
placed it in the corner of a field.
Prof. Orth, driving along- the road one day,
was shocked to see the new instrument out in
tbe rain with half a dozen chickens roosting on
it. He sued tbe church trustees for damages
and tho case has just ended in Common Pleas
Court, the jury rendering tho Professor dam
ages to the amount of the value of tbe organ.
A GERMAN PUBLISHER'S SCHEME.
Renting Attic Rdoon to Secure Space for
Advcrtlsins; Posters.
BT PUNLAP'S CABLE COMPAmf.
Berlin, February 22. The local newpapcr,
tbe Berliner Ausieigcr, has suddenly acquired
an enormous circulation by a teij clever trick,
suggested by an American, On hundreds of
walls in tbe city huge signs were posted bearing
tbe legend, in German:. "Tbe Auszeiger has
tbe largest circulation the world." Tbe law
forbidding the pasting of signs or placards oh
houses, except by tbe inhabitants thereof, the
police warned the manager of tbe paper that ho
must take down the anpuncements, whereupon
be immediately hired a small attic room in
eadh house, and thus established tbo right ot
pasting the signs. The police now are at
tacking the Auszeiger for willfully circumvent
ing the law.
FISH BROUGHT FROM AFRICA,
A Consignment of Mackerel From Code
Town to the Bay State.
Providence, Mass., February 22. The
long-talked-abont;consignment of African mack
erel arrived here last nlglit by packet schooner
Lucknow, coming from Cape Town Via London
in steamers. Tbe consignment, which consists
of S3 casks holding about three barrels eacb,
was opened for Inspection tbis morning at the
packing sheds of -the Union Fish Company, on
railroad dock, by Agent Collins, to wbom tbey
were consigned. They are sweet and In first
class order.
nER TWENTX-SEC0XI) CHILD.
Genre- WnHUlngion Hlffslns lli3 Litest Ar
rival nt n Tim n Home.
rffKClAlj TULXOHA2I TO TUB DISPATCH I
TirriN, February 22. Mrs. Michael Higglns,
wife of a glasablower, lately ot Steubenville,
to-day gave birth .to .her, .twsnty-seoond child,
It was a boy and Was named George Washington.
THE STROLLERS STORIES.
Odd Observations and Quaint Opinions From
Curb and Corridor.
T AST week Mr, J. B. Scott showed a promi
nent member of tbe brewing interest
throngh the Carnegie Library building. Tbe
exquisite decorations were pointed out tbe
pictures' and architecture minntely examined;
bnt the man of vats seemed to appreciate all
this splendor very slightly. Mr. Scott began to
feel somewhat like Mark Twain's Italian gnlde.
when, as a last resonrce,-he escorted the brewer
down tbe stairway into tbe immense cellars of
tbe building. Then the heart of tbe beer king
was touched at last. His admiration burst forth
unrestrained. "Great heavens!" be cried, "what
a beautiful place to store beer."'
The crowds along Sinithfield .street during
yesterday's parade were as nearly impene
trable as it is possible for crowds to be. Tbe
female portion of the crowd which was main
ly responsible for tbe block up, by the way
proved very timorous in crossing before tbe
advancing parade. Several ladies hesitated In
the middle of the causeway and tbe proverbial
fate of hesitating females became theirs. They
were swallowed up in the marching lines, to
emerge later on with rumpled plumes and
finery awry. In one instance a clever police
man assembled all the ladies at the corner of
Seventh avenue in a bunch, and thon gave
them the signal to charge. There was a flatter
of skirts, a few shrill screams, and tbe cloud of
light infantry swept across tbe track, under
the very noses of a band of trampling horse
men. jyr artin X Frank; who lately fought and
fell in the Southside political fight, spoke
of his overthrow in strikingly allegorical lan
guage yesterday. "Ab, yes!" be exclaimed, "I
got in the soup. But tbe soup was only thin
stuff, and I found myself able to swim. Sol
paddled round a bit till I ran against some big
leviathan of the deep. It was Martin Sbafer,
and be was trying to keep afloat, too. So I
struck out for tbe side, and something nearly
swam down my throat. 1 caught it and held
it to the light. It was William W. NIsbet! Yes.
big and little; we were all in tbe flowing bowl
together."
AT one point in yesterday's parade a rather
painful incident was happily averted by
the presence of mind of those in command.
Tbe United States mail wagon met the pro
cession, and some young bloods in one of the de
tachments thought that this wagon should give
way to the parade, like other conveyances
along the line of march. Now the United
States mail cannot be stopped, and tbe drivers
bave orders to fire on anyone who arrests their
progress. Consequently when tbe parade re
sisted their efforts to cross tbe street tbere was
some very hot language. At tbis moment an
elderly gentleman, apparently one ot the mar
shals of the celebration, spied tbe scene from
afar, and cantered to the spot. He at once
commanded the obstinate lines to halt, which
they did with tbe best grace possible. Then
the mail wagon drove through, and tbe danger
was past.
'The dignity of a certain Marshal of Parade
was somewhat disturbed yesterday by a
curious incident. He was nicely mounted on a
prancing charger, which was recognized by
many in tbe crowd as a former performer in a
welt known traveling circus. The horse was
once a really splendid animal, and still makes a
remarkably good back for show occasions. The
Marshal seemed proud of his mount, and
rested bis hand on his left hip in tbe style of
military heroes, as they appear in war chromos.
Suddenly, however, the band in front struok
np "Marching through Georgia." Then the
charger reared up on bis bind legs,
and began to dance in a very live
ly fashion, to tbe very apparent dismay
of his rider. Everyone laughed, except the un
fortunate marshal, and it was whispered
through the crowd tbat this was one of the
horse's old circus acts. The dancing continued
until an old acquaintance of the charger spoke
a tallsmanlc word from the sidewalk, when the
unexpected and uncomfortable waltz ceased as
quickly as it had began. The discomfited
marshal immediately got possession of that
command and, it is to be hoped, used it with
success during tho day, whenever the band
played "Marching through Georgia."
'"THE occupants of two second floor Fifth ave
nue offices yesterday practiced a new sys
tem of telegraphy over the beads of tbe
seething multitude to the no small gratification
of the varions onlookers. At a window on the
left band side of the street sat a bevy
of pretty maidens, while directly op
posite were ensconBced some five or six
stalwart specimens of Pittsburg bachelorhood.
A perfect understanding seemed to exist
'between the dames and tbeir knights, tor hand-
kercbiefs'were gracefully fluttered, jeweled
fingers kissed, and abostof inexplicable sig
nals exchanged between the parties. Tbe oc
casional appearance of an extremely inappro
priate paterfamilias on tbe ladles Slue, seemeu
to causo a suspension of operations for a while.
On these occasions the amatory youths seemed
very Intent upon the progress of the parade.
But tbe moment paterfamilias disappeared,
the telegraphic code was once more put in
practice. At one point in the performance, an
occupant of tbe right-hand side office
tried to throw a bunch of flowers to bis
inamorata In the opposite office.
The bouquet fell short, however, to his great
chagrin and the enjoyment of his friends. An
impertinent and unromantic "nawsie" caught
tbe flowers as they fell, and taking off bis bat
tered hat, placed his hand over the region of
his heart and bowed to tho unwilling donor.
The sequel of tho telegraphy cannot be nar
rated. It is to be hoped that the gallant cava
liers, plucked up courage enough to brave
paterfamilias, and cross to the charming ob
jects of their manifest affection,
AS a specimen of tbe power of yesterday's
crowd the following fact may be noted:
A gentleman's new silk hat fell from one of
the postoffice building windows into Smithfield
street. In tbe soft and gentle twilight the
owner found one section of the said bat at the
corner of Seventh avenue; another on the Dia
mond alley crossing, and a third, on which his
name had been inscribed, was picked up near
the Southsido Market House at B p. M.
The Stbollsr.
BARNUM COMING HOME.
Showman and the Animals Now En
Tho
Conic for America.
IBT CABLE TO THE DISPATCH.
London, February 22. Barnum's animals
are on their way back to America, on the Fur
nessia, which sailed from the Albert Dock
Thursday afternoon. Kiralfy's ballet Is on
board, too, and likewise a majority of perform
ers in the great moral sbow. A luncheon was
given on board the Fnrnessia Wednesday to the
London newspaper men. and Barnnm assured
them tbat he and the show were coming back
in a year or two.
Wbnre Blood Buns Thld.
Froln the Atchison Globs.
Blood may be thicker than water, but did
anyone over know a girl who would not steal
nor brother's cigars to give to someone else?
THE BLESSED BBOOD.
Gather them close to your loving heart,
Cradle them close to your bressti
Thcr will soon enough leave tour brooding care,
Soon enouzh ascend youth's topmost stair
Little ones in tbe neit.
Fret not that the children's! hearts are gsy,
That their restless feet will run ; '
There may tome a time in the by and by
When you'll stlln your lonely room and sigh
For a sound of childish fun;
When you'll long for a repetition sweet,
That sounded through each room,
Of "Mother! mother!" the dear love-calls
That will echo long through the silent halls,
And add to their stately gloom.
There may come a time when you'll long to hear
The eajter, boyish tread,
The tuneless whistle, the clear, shrill shout,
The bustle In nd oat,
And pattering overhead.
When the boys and jrlrls are all grown up,
And Kcsttered fnr and wide. t
'or gone to the undiscovered shore.
Where yonth and aire coTie never more.
You wlil miss them from your slue.
Then gather them to your loving heart;
Cradle them oil your breaitt
Thev will soon enough leave your brooding care,
Boo", enough ascend youth's topmost stair
r Little oust la tbe nut,
Oood Uwsttttping,
LITERATURE AS A BUSINESS.
Mr. Howells Thinks the American Author
Poorly Paid far His Work.
TV. D. Howells In March Harper. 3
Of all the silly superstitions tbat have sur
vived out of tbe credulous past, none is sillier
than the notion tbat literature ought to work
for nothing and find luelf. The most pros
perous writer iu our country probably gats no
more for bis work than tens of thousands of
lawyers and doctors each receive; but in a
civilization where every office rendered to the
Commonwealth is paid for, whese every con
ceivable service from man to man has its wage,
it is felt tbat tbe autbor If paid at all ought
to be underpaid; tbat be Is tbe only laborer
unworthy of bis hire. We will allow tbat if
you take the word of literary men about one
another tbev are mostly unworthy of their hire;
in their jealonsies and envies they have them
selves much to blame for tbe common feeling
concerning them. But, after all, bow many
authors amongus keep their carriages or bave
three kinds of wine at table out of tbeir dis
graceful gains?
Mr. f helps says that book making has be
come a trade, and tbat profit is its cbief end.
For tbe present we will not deny this, but wo
warn all those intending to go Into tbe business
with a view to profit as the chief end, that
tbere is not much money for tbe amount of
work in It In spite of Mr. Phelps' confidence,
however, tbere is probably no man nr woman
in the country intending to go into it with tbat
view. Those who love literature have at least
wit enough to Know that they will never be
come rich by it; and that probably tbey Will
always remain poor.
IMITATORS OF AMERICANS.
The Japs Like This Count rr and Are Adapt
Ins; Its Customs.
From tbe Mew York Star.
One of tbe oddest things In the history of the
present age is the admiration which Japan has
for tbe United States. Forty years ago they
were an isolated community, keeping them
selves carefully aloof frum all civilized nations.
To-day tbeir clothing, institutions, ways and
manners are copied from onr own. The first of
tbeir race wbo came over here were a troupe of
acrobats; now there are more than 50,000 within
our borders. In this city they bave a club,
many stores, offices and boarding houses. Tbey
prosper in their new home, and form a very
good element of our population.
I run across tbeir Consul here quite often.
He has a queer name, Saburo Fujli. bnt he Is a
very delightful person. He belongs to tbe
highest rank in Japan, holding a position cor
responding to tbat of a Duke in Great Britain.
His culture is famous at borne, be having car
ried off the leading honors of the schools and
college where be studied in both Japan and
England. He is about 15 years of age, is ruddy,
smiling, well fed and speaks our language like
a native. He enjojs our music and drama, and
is a frequent visitor to our leading houses of
amusement.
A MODEL IN EVER! SJ5NSE.
Complete and Reliable News From AH the
World in The Dispatch.
From the Parkersbnrg Dally Sentinel.
When we want to read tbe news of the world,
and look for that which is most reliable and
trustworthy, we invariably turn to The Pitts
btjeq Dispatch, a model newspaper in every
sense. As a news gatherer it Is unsurpassed by
any other journal either in or out of the great
cities, and in tbe quantity and quality of its
news it is thoroughly metropolitan. A sur
prising nose for news, care for the truth and
presentation in a readable form of tbe world's
daily happenings are prominent characteristics
of The Dispatch that make it so great and
attractive a newspaper.
The Sunday edition of The Dispatch has
now reached a circulation exceeding 50,000 and
is one of tbe best in the country. It is a veritable
magazine of pleasant literature, of 20 large
pages, made up of tbe news of the day, cor
respondence from home and abroad and enter
taining fiction.
IRISH LEADERS IN AMERICA.
Two Members of Parliament Cordially Wei.
coined at Son Francisco.
San Francisco, February 22. Among the
passengers on the steamer Australia, which ar
rived from Honolulu at an early hour this
morning, were the Irish leaden, John Dillon,
M. t? and Sir Thomas H. Gratton Esmonds,
M. P. Considerable preparation had been
made here to receive tbe visitors, and wben
tbe Australia came to the dock this morning a
committee of Irish-American citizens and a
large number of other persons were in waiting
on the wharf, and extended Welcome to tbe
borne rule advocates.
The visitors were taken at once to tbe hotel,
where a committee waited upon them, and pre
sented them with an addtess ot welcome, con
gratulating them upon their successful efforts
throughout the Australian colonies and other
places in the Soutnern hemisphere. In behalf of
tbe Irish cause. This afternoon an informal
reoeption was held at tbe rooms of the guests.
WHAT BOTHERED MABEL.
A Child's Trnthlnl Frankness Somewhat
Embarrasses Her Mothor.
From tbe Lcwlston Journal. l
A Portland family had company one day and
little Mabel was helping her mother in prepar
ing supper. Her mother told her Drivately to
spread the cloth on the table, and be sure and
have the neatest part at tbe lady visitor's side.
After endeavoring to do as near as she was re
quested, she went to tho visitor, child like, and
much to the mother's discomfiture, she ex
claimed: "Only think, mamma wanted me to give you
tbe cleanest part of tbe tablecloth, and I can't
find any clean part to ltl"
A Job for tbo Male.
From the Greensburg Argus.
A Greensburg barber has hired a mule whose
sole duty is to kick him unceasingly for an
entire week and for tbis reason: Recently he
purchased a one-tenth ticket in a lottery and
soon afterward sold It for what it cost him to J.
J. Rickart, of Maple avenue. Saturday he re
ceived notice tbat his ticket bad drawn the one
tenth of a S300 prize. P. a Tbe mule is ful
filling his contract to tbe best of bis ability.
The Busslao Ruler's Diet,
From tho New York World.l
The Czar of Russia always eats the same
breakfast ham and eggs, a slice of roast beef
and tea. Later in the day he is apt to dine a
mite.
Mot n Political Aspiration.
From the New York Evening World.
A great many American girls, not in politics
at all, are just as anxious as can be to get a fair
Count.
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.
New York Commercial Advertiser: tt there
is anything that can melt away more quickly
than a snowflake, recent ovents would indicate
that it is a rich national bank when it gets in
the clutches of a "klter."
Philadelphia Utcord: Senator Blair's
eight-day speech ended on Thursday. His
wind and his manuscript gave out. Like an
eight-day clock, he cannot go again until he
shall hare obtained more wind.
Brooklyn Standard-Union t Senator Blair
wants aa official newspaper in which to print
and circulate his speeches. It might pay to let
him have it if be would consent not to speak
tbe speeches in the Senate.
Washington Post: Parliamentary law is
receiving some severe wrenches out in Ohio.
A member of tbe Legislature took the floor
Wednesday evening to announce that he could
lick any two Republicans in that body.
New York Evening World: Mr. Andrew
Carnegie has done a praiseworthy act in be
stowing a fine public library upon the working
men and women of Allegheny. Iu his remarks
he bade such men and women to feel tbat tbe
library was theirs. More deeds like this are in
order from the ricb, wbo after all are stewards,
In a measure, to tho poor.
Wheeling Intetligeneer: A terrible scan
dal has broken out in the region ot the Ohio
Legislature. It has been discovered tbat sev
eral members of that body have lent their rail
road passes to friends. When tbe railroad
companies learned this thsymust have mourned
over the degeneracy of the times. In simple
Colonial days no legislator ever lent his rail
road pass.
Boston fierald: William Walter Phelps bas
spent 23,000 marks in remodeling the building
which bojtnd his family are to occupy during
his residence in Beilln. It has caused more
than 23,000 re-marks among the Berliners. Tbe
architects of Berlin are studying this first spec
imen ot a stylish American horns with great
interest. We used to get onr models from
'Europe, hut we bavo Improved upon them, afid
are returning then with lntemfc
CUKI0US C05DEHSAT10K8.
In a field near Circleville, O., contain
ing 200 shocks of corn, over 7,000 mica and 89
hawks were killed last weak. Done to satisfy
abet.
A grocer at Lynchburg, Vs., who had
been in business for 13 years without making a
cent, couldn't figure out how it was until his
bead clerk was taken sick, thought he was go
ing to die. and owned up to having embezzled,
about 817,000.
Adolph Sutro is trying the experiment
of raising cinchona trees near San Francisco.
"If be succeeds be will not only bave some
very ornamental trees, but demonstrate tbat
the raw material for quinine can he produced
In this country."
An Indiana publisher of a weekly paper
went to his reward tbe other day. Tbis reward
was not heaven, but a job in a bank at J2 a day.
Ht bad worked 21 years as editor and publisher,
and had figured it up and found tbat he had
not averaged a dollar a day.
A curious fact is that of tbe 17 clerks in
tbe Senate of tbe new State of Washington a
majority (nine) are women, and there is but
one wbo carries "Mrs." before her name. Tho
same rule holds good with tbe House, a major
its of tbe clerks being ladles.
The WaUessing (N. J.) Woman's
Christian Temperance Union bas decided to
boycott all grocers and butchers who sell cider.
The question cf making mince pies without
cider was also discussed. Many of the members
said they could not make good pies unless they
nsed cider, but this was contradicted by the
conservative members of tbe body. The final
action of the union Is regarded with great anx
iety by all lovers of old-fashioned mince pies.
The application of a caveat to stop a
marriage is something new. It Is stated tbat a
member of tbe Maryland Legislature had con
tracted a marriage with a lady, and journeyed
to tbe county seat to procure a license, when
he made tbe painful discovery tbat bis rival
bad filed a caveat against the Issue, and before
be can get it tne case will bave to be argued.
Tbe wedding day has been postponed, but the
old man Is a fighter, ana won't give up easily.
The most comical mishap that ever be
fell a fire engine occurred recently at Toledo.
The noise of an approaching fire apparatus
startled a 65-year-old countryman and bis wife
as they were making their way along tbe side
walk. To grab his wife's green umbrella and
rush into tbe middle of the street directly in
tbe path of the oncoming steeds was the work
of a moment for the excited farmer. His gy
rations and shouting brought the horses to a
sudden stop. Tbe tire laddies drove off swear
ing, but tbe crowd cheered the old f elicw as he
returea to the sidewalk muttering: "Tarnation
fools! let'em run away If tbey want to. I'll
never risk my life to save their necks again."
Jupiter, Fla., can boast ot the most in
telligent mule on record. Tbe animal is 21
years old. Every night he proceeds to tbe li fe
Saving station. It is customary for the man
on watch to discharge his coston signal (a red
light) when vessels come too near the beach.
Tbe mule has "caught on" to what tbis signal
means. So every night at 8 o'clock the sailor's
four-legged friend proceeds to walk tbe beacb,
and if a vessel comes too near the shore the
mule, instead of a coston signal, sends forth a
neigh that makes night hideous. "Portorstar
board your helm." is tne order on the ship, and
away sail the jolly tars in perfect safety and
with a grateful heart to tbe four-legged patrol,
man.
Like wine and whisky, the turtle im
proves with age. One of the delicacies at a
recent dinner at Windsor Castle was a turtle
which had reached tbe advanced age of 100
years. Notwithstanding its antiquity its flesh
was sweet and tender. It was captured by a
British cruiser near Ascension Island, and so
thoroughly did Her Majesty enjoy the soup
and steaks provided by the venerable rrus
tacean that she has sent the cruiser off again
for a fresb supply. It must travel several
thousand miles in orderto obey ber commands.
The turtle is probably tbe only edible that
grows better with years. Age does not really
improve fowls, game and meats, although the
restaurants sometimes appear to believe tbat it
does.
Many guesses or estimates ot the total
cost of tbe Forth bridge bave been made, but
now that it is nearly completed its exact cost
can be stated with almost absolute certainty.
Under the original Forth bridge act. 1873. tba
bridge and connecting railways were estimated
to cost 1,803,666, of which that act authorized
1,250,000 to be raised by shares and 416,66(1 by
mortgage. Various acts bad, however, to be
applied for tbereafter for power to raise
further sums, and now still auother is being
promoted in this session of Parliament for
power to raise 266,000 additional. Tbat will
bring up the sum which has been expended on
the bridge and connecting railways to about
323,000,000. which may now be accepted as the
exacf cost of the undertaking.
A foreign traveler tells of seeing musi
cal trees in the West India Islands and in
Nubia, It has a peculiar shaped leaf and pods
with a split or open edge. The wind passing
through these gives out the sound whicb gives
tbe tree its peculiar name. In Barbadoes there
is a valley filled with these trees, and when the
wind blows across the Island a constant moan
ing, deep-toned wbisle is heard from it, which
in tbo still boursof tbe night bas a very weird
and unpleasant effect. A species of acaeia,
which grows very abundantly in tbe Soudan is
also called the "whistling tree" by the natives.
I Its shoots are frequently by the agency of the
larvse OI insects aisiorcea in snaps idu swouea
into a globular bladder from one to two inches
in diameter. After the insect has emerged
from a circular hole in the side of tbis swelling
the opening played upon by tbe wind becomes
a musical Instrument equal in sound to a sweet
toned Ante.
A good story 13 told of Bishop Grafton
(Protestant Episcopal) of tbe diocese of Fond
da Lac One of bis first visitations was at
Waupun, where there bas been much church
dissension in tbe past, and while there he was
the guest of Mrs. Webster. After the prelate
retired he was annoyed by a mouse in the room.
TTa did not lis awake and wonder what could
be done to abate It- He quietly arose, took tbe
remains of a luncheon which he had been en
joying, placed it on the top of a glass in tbe
center of a washbowl, filled tbe bowl ball full of
water, leaned a photograph from the table to
tbe edge of the bowl so as to give the mouse a
runway, then calmly went back to bed. In a
few moments he heard the pattering of the
mouse's feet on tbe photograph, a splasb. a few
r.ti ir-r!e. and all was auiet. Then the worthy
.bishop turned over and slept tbe sleep of the
ust as airs, wtwrei ""rv". "" ",'
morning: "Hlshop Grafton will find no diffi
culty In governing tbe diocese if he can so
easily han die a mouse."
IN JEST AND EARNEST.
Men solace themselves with cigars, but
women so lace themselves with corsets. Xeno
xoinfs Seat.
Don't fret about what your reputation will
be after death. Tombstones are mighty charita
hla.Burlinaton If Prtss,
An exchange says that the coloring matter
in greenbacks is deadly poison. Bodentsl We
don't icue.tatorence American.
"Give me the man who siugs at his work,"
says a writer. He can have him. Alto' the man
who whistles at his work. tforristovm Herald.
Algy(who has more than he wants
Pooh! Klches have wings.
Poor Jack (wbo hasn't enough) Maybe: but
they're mighty slow in flying toward a fellow.
Texas Sfftingr.
Dudely You look at me aa if you thought
I was a fool, eh?
Stranger Why, no: you can't be saeh a fool,
after all. Your remark shows that you reads
man's thoughts at a glance. Texas Sif tings.
"Do you see that man over there?" said
one rural visitor In the Bouse gallery to another.
"The one who was Jes speakln'f
"yes. Be was once a famous Enow Nothing."
"Well, he don't seem to be clean over it. yet."
Washington Post.
Old Gentleman I shall report you, young
man. Why didn't you stop your car before? Here
j have beeh running after your ear more than a
block. ,. .
Conduetor-AIl right, guv'nor; I'msorry. but I
ain't like a pertater, with eyes all over. Texas
Siftlngi.
What a genius you arel" exclaimed a
young lady visiting an inventor's workroom. "I
believe you could make almost everything.
"Yes," replied tne young man modestly. "Is
there anything you would Itto to see me make."
"Mike me an offer," whispered tbe girl, shyly.
Jlunsej's WttUy.
Willits "So Pauline Gushiugton.'the
poetess, is your wire, eh? You're a lucky dog. to
be married to a woman wbo Is o loving' as she
must be."
Millets "I don't know about that. You see.
she writes that kind of truck for money. And she
u not in tbe habit of talking shop around home."
Ttrrt Haute Express.
THE SLOWEST THINe,
Slowly the dial finger moves when;on"e,ii
waiting for his love; ' ,-j ,
Slowly the stars to unlearned eyes creep 'cross tlia .
firmament anove: Wj""
Blowly tbe snail propels himself; and slowly- jpea
th coming flower, .";..
Bat issUiM on eifthisems quits SO slow M tlii
' tut run tsn silts sn hoar.
-CHoaga BsnU,