Pittsburg dispatch. (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, August 31, 1889, Page 4, Image 4

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HE PITTSBURG-1 DISPATCH; SATURDAY ' AUGUST Si, i889.
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THE SUMMER BOARDER
IS COMING HOME.
He no sooner reaches hi residence than his
first query is:
WfiErE ia My Dispatch 7
He has been shut off tor weeks from news- 1
paper and mall facilities and he wants to know
wbat is going on In the world of politics, busi
ness, science, art and literature. He knows
the Talue of the
MAMMOTH ISSUE
OV THE
Bunday Dispatch,
With its 128 columns of news from all parts of
the worldVand its contributions from the brlgbt
est writers of the age. He is soon entranced in
its columns and
Bib Snmmer Boarder is Happy.
ESTABLISHED FEBRUARY 8, 1M6.
Vol., NaSOS. Entered at.rittsbnrr Postofflce,
November 14, 1887, as second-class matter.
Business Offlce--97 and 99 Fifth Avenue.
News Rooms and Publishing House 75,
77 and 79 Diamond Street
Eastern Advertising Office, Boom 48, Tribune
Building, Hew York.
Average net circulation of tbe dally edition of
THEDlsrATCUIorslx montbs ending July S3, 1S891
as sworn to before City Controller,
29,914
Copies per Issue.
Average net circulation of tbe Sunday edition of
Tbe Disfatch for three montbs ending July 31,
jsssi v
54,897
Copleaper Issue. J
-TEEMS OF THE DISPATCH.
rOETAQE FEXE IN TSX UXtTED STATES.
Daily Disraicn, One Year t 8 04
Daily Dispatch, Per Quarter 2 00
Dailt DlSPATCU, One Month 70
Dailt Dispatch. Including Sunday, 1 year. 10 00
Daily Dispatch. Including Sunday.Sm'tbs. z SO
Dailt Dispatch, Including Sunday. 1 month 90
bUNDAY Dispatch, One Year 2 SO
Weekly Dispatch, One Year 125
The Dailt DlsrATCH Is delivered by carriers at
15 cents per -week, or including bunday edition, at
20 cents per week.
PITTSBURG. SATURDAY. AUG. 31. 18SS.
THE LATE WILLIAM: THAW.
Tbe State of Pennsylvania, the county of
Allegheny, the city of Pittsburg, and many
another State and city were worthily repre
sented in the great congregation which
gathered yesterday to do honor to the mem
orv of William Thaw in the church where
his body lay. In every way the funeral
service was most impressive. There was no
lip service merely there; no conventional
observance of mourning duties, no pulseless
pretense of respect and sorrow. The clergy
men spoke Irom their Hearts, and to the
hearts of all within their hearing. The
reality of the sorrow the death of Mr.
Thaw had caused could easily be read on
tbe face of the men and women who pressed
about the bier.
No man could ask for, no man could wish
for a grander monument than Mr. Thaw has
built for himself and left behind him in his
good deeds. To remember him is to bless
him, and to thank the Maker of us all that
such men are given to this earth to illumi
nate it and to glorify Him. Beyond the
loss which the community has sustained in
the death of this good citizen, regarding it
in a personal sense, no doubt Pittsburg will
daily become more informed of the gap in
her commercial bulwarks his removal has
made. Individuals in other places may
mourn the loss of a friend, a benefactor, an
ally, but Pittsburg realizes that one who
stood to her almost as a watchful, affection
ate father has been taken from her.
NOTHING FROM A QUEEN.
There is certainly nothing to disquiet the
United States in Queen Victoria's speech to
the English Parliament yesterday.' In fact
that usually empty form is on this occasion
nothing more than a mere announcement of
prorogation. It is true that the Samoan
question is referred to, but the reference
consists of the barest rehearsal of what
everybody has known for several months,
namely that England and Germany have
approved the convention made at the Ber
lin conference and are awaiting the assent of
the American Senate.
Not a word has Lord Salisbury to say
through tbe lips of his imperial figurehead
about the policy of the Government toward
Ireland. The Tories want the world to
draw the inference from this silence that
Ireland is quiet, happy and prosperous un
der their beneficient rule. Whatever Lord
Salisbury and his colleagues may be able
by silence or speech to induce other people
to believe, there is no chance at all of their
blinding the eyes of Ireland's friends in
America. The careful abstention irom all
mention of Irish affairs at a time whenPar
nellite members of Parliament are still
being sent to jail for refusing to give up
their right to free speech is likely to be
interpreted here as in Ireland, as a studied
and cruel insult.
BIRDS WILL BE NOWHERE.
Mortals have not learned to fly yet. The
aeronaut continues to go up in a balloon
and to come down as often as not in a fatal
hurry. All the same, the movement of man
is daily becoming more rapid. Trains run
faster, the horse has succumbed to tbe cable
or the electric motor on our streets, and bi
cycles are making the locomotion of tbe in
dividual man speedier than even the most
sanguine dreamed.nf a decade ago.
But more than this, there are signs of the
approach of an overshadowing revolution in
the matter of locomotion. The Dispatch
has printed some remarkable facts about the
new bicycle locomotive, which is expected
to haul a heavy passenger train at the rate
of a hundred miles an hour. This remarka
ble engine has passed beyond the purely
experimental stage, although it is to be put
shortly through a course of severe and prac
tical tests. The gain in speed is not the
only thing promised for the bicycle engine.
It is said to be cheaper to run, and that the
alteration it demands in the form of the
tracks will increase the safety of the passen
gers to a large extent.
. story of even greater wonder comes
from New York regarding the electro-automatic
railroad which has answered experi
ments conducted at Baltimore successfully,
and which is soon to be publicly tried on
Long Island. According to the statements
of Mr. David G. Weems, the inventor, his
electrical motor has attained already on a
track full of curves and steep grades, a
peed of two miles a minute, but he claims
that five miles a minute may bs reached.
Making a large allowance for possible ex-
wije mu
aggeration, it must be admitted that if we
are not likely soon to fly with the wings of
birds, we may soon surpass the swiftest of
them in flitting from place to place.
A FATAL STREAM OF STEEL.
. One of those accidents which seem to be
unavoidable brought death and frightful
injuries upon a party of sturdy workmen in
Carnegie's mills at Homestead yesterday,
A ladle of molten steel, from some cause
not certainly known, exploded and the
stream of metal which flowed into the cast
ing pit encircled a dozen men, two of whom
were killed instantly and ten injured se
riously. This terrible catastrophe occurred
in the open air furnace.
There is no evidence of any human culpa
bility, the only theory to account for the
accident being that gas accumulated be
tween the steel and the scum of slsg, and
on contact with the air exploded. The
death of one man, however, is attributed to
the encumbrance of the pit bank with
molds; but the responsibility for this is not
indicated. All that can be said is that too
many safeguards for the lives of the men
who work in the mills cannot be taken. No
perfection of machinery nor immensity of
output can atone for the loss of a single life
that could have been saved.
THE BISK DOES NOT BOTHER US.
Prof. Edward Orton, Ohio's State Geolo
gist, is not very sanguine about the lasting
qualities of Pittsburg's gas supply, but he
makes up for this by his cheerful confidence
that an artificial fuel gas will be found to
take the place of natural gas. He regards
his confidence as something remarkable.
He says: "So confident am I of this that I
have had my house in Columbus fitted for
fnel gas, although I have no faith in the
permanency of the natural gas supply."
We can assure Prof. Orton that his confi
dence is shared by tens of thousands in Al
legheny county at as great or greater risk
than his.
BRAVE SOLDIERS SLIGHTED.
The anger of the veterans of the Seventy
fourth Regiment Pennsylvania Volunteers,
at the refusal of the State authorities to give
them transportation to Gettysburg battle
field, does not surprise ns. It is natural
and just. This regiment fought at Gettys
burg from the dawn of the battle to its close.
The Legislature recognizing its conspicuous
service voted $1,600 toward its fund
for the erection of a regimental mon
ument upon the battlefield of Gettysburg.
But Adjutant General Hastings says he
cannot find any record of the Seventy
fourth's service at Gettysburg on the rolls at
Harrisburg.
Doubtless General Hastings is not re
sponsible in any way for the blunder. That
part of the difficulty needs investigation. It
is quite clear, however, that the brave fel
lows who fought in the Civil War's decisive
contest, have a right to be present at the
celebration of "Pennsylvania's Day" on
Gettysburg field. They have very properly
concluded to pay their own way, and collect
from the State afterward. We trust they
will receive proper amends lor the slight
put upon them.
PHILADELPHIA COURTESY.
The Schuylkill river water or the hot
spell seems to have proved too much for an
editorial writer on one ot the Philadelphia
papers. It appears that some admirers of
the Boston baseball players nave been rash
enough to express their preference during
the progress of a League game in Philadel
phia, whereupon the aforesaid editor ex
presses ti)e hope that if a Philadelphian
happens to be inBoston when the "Phillies"
play baseball in that city, he will have bet
ter breeding, better taste and better judg
ment than to make his preference for his
home team too conspicuous. With charac
teristic Philadelphian modesty the editor
winds np with the assumption that Phila
delphia can give Boston a few lessons in
culture, breeding and courtesy.
This is a new reading of the laws of
courtesy. We should imagine that to ex
press sympathy with the strangers in a
strange city would be the part of good breed
ing, good taste and good judgment, so long
as the expression were sincere. To decry
such an honest encouragement of one's
friends is the part of a snob devoid of
decent feelings. But we can understand,
in view of the recent disgracelul conduct
on the part of a Philadelphia mob on the
ball grounds, that it is exceedingly danger
ous for a man to express openly his sentiments
if they do not happen to be also those of the
local crowd. We do not know how it would
be with the Philadelphian under like cir
cumstances in Boston, but in Pittsburg we
like to cheer onr opponents and heartily
welcome their friends to our ball field.
But after all this singular example of
topsy-turvey reasoning is probably due to
too great indulgence in that dreadful
Schuylkill water.
Anyone who reads The Dispatch's
cablegrams from London in this issue will
be impressed by the gravity of the situation
there, for the first time in the history
of that aged and mighty city the strength of
united labor in a struggle with capital,
principally in the hands of corporations, is
to be fully tested. Confronted with an army
of strikers half a million strong we expect the
corporations will yield. If they will not,
London may see more terrible sights
than Paris did in 1870.
To what depths of despair drunkenness
can drag a man is shown in the desperate
means young Frye chose for committing
suicide yesterday in the county jail. The
excrnciating pain which he suffered in stab
bing himself to the heart with a blnnted
lead pencil must have been nothing to the
remorseful agony of his mind.
Thesis really seems to be some slight
reason for believing that the Cronin trial is
to be proceeded with before the ' close of
1889. The selection of the twelve good and
true men to till the jury box is not expected
to consume more than three months. The
punishment of the murderers, if any there
be found among the indicted men, it is con
ceded on all sides may be inflicted before
the end of the present century.
Blessed be he who hath no companions
in crime, would seem to be Judge Brokaw's
belief. That magistrate discharged a cer
tain John Smith, who was brought before
him yesterday on a charge of drunkenness,
because be was the only prisoner at the
morning hearing.
The German powder factories are all
hard at work, night an,d day, turning out
the new smokeless powder lor the army. At
the same time Prince Bismarck is busily
engaged in writing pacific editorials for the
semi-official papers he controls. The Iron
Chancellor's peacelul sentiments arc ex
pected to hold out until all the German
magazines have their complement of the
new powder.
charged with illegal liquor selling, offers to
give a hundred dollars to anyone who will
prove that hjs has sold liqnor without
license. That s about what it will cost you
to prove that you did not break the law,
esteemed sir.
Dr. Oliver Wendell, Holmes has
just celebrated his 80th birthday. The de
lightful New England philosopher and poet
bears the weight of age lightlv. It is 32
years and more since he wrote "The Auto
crat of the Breakfast Table," and yet the
cheerfulness and geniality which distin
guished his writing then are still the most
prominent characteristics of his personality.
It is rather unfair tocharge the death of
a man who suffered from typhoid fever,
Bright's disease, chronic rheumatism and a
serious affection of the heart to Brown
Sequard's .elixir. Yet that is what the
friends ot Hugh Myers, of Washington,
are doing.
New Toek's pugilistic experts assert
that La Blanche's victory over Jack Demp-
sey in the prize ring was largely due to the
former's confinement in the Buffalo jail for
several months. They claim that the regu
lar hours and uniform diet of. tbe jail made
a new man of La Blanche. After this Sul
Jivan and Kilrain will doubtless cease to ob
ject to taking their dose of imprisonment
Inspired by the wonderful record of the
revenue steamer Bush in the Behring Sea,
the naval authorities are talking of com
bining all the revenue boats, steamers, tugs
and cutters into an auxiliary fleet for use in
time of war. The news will comfort our
We are afraid that President Harrison
will hardly regard as complimentary the
petition of the citizens of Bichmond county,
N. C, to have a new postoffice named Baby
McKee, after the wonderful child at the
White House. Nor can we congratulate
the North Carolinians on their conception
of what constitutes respect for the Chief
Magistrate of the nation.
PEOPLE OF PROMINENCE.
William Walteb Phelps will sail for
Germany on September 7.
Astronomer Proctor's widow Is to lecture
on astronomy next winter.
Cableton Harris, tbe young man who was
killed by cigarette smoking, was a nephew of
Jay Gould.
Allen Mantel, the new President of the
Atchison, Topeka and Banta Fe Railway, be
gan life as a boy In a country grocery store.
J. W. Ellsworth, ot Chicago, bas pur
chased tbe "Portrait of Dr.Tulp," which is con
sidered one of the finest Rembrandts in the
Seilliere collection. It bears the date 1632.
When Fattl sang the Welsh national air at
their Eisteddfod, snch a scene was never be
fore witnessed in Wales. The audience were
divided between tears and Irrepressible en.
tbnslasm.
Lord Inoersoll, who died'on Wednesday
in his 75th year, was very close to Tweed at one
time and was a millionaire. His son, James H.,
was convicted of complicity in the big New
York steal ana did time in Auburn Prison.
The Archbishop of Canterbury is shocked at
tbe idea of a bridegroom taking part in a wed
ding ceremony in evening dress. He thinks
snch a costume desecrates tbe sanctuary, and
to prevent snch desecration be has issued an
edict against the issue of special licenses for a
later hour than 5 in the evening.
General Lucius B. Northrop, the Com
missary General ot the Southern Confederacy,
has been living In absolute .retirement near
Charlottesville, Va., since tbe close of the Civil
War. He is now 78 years old, and remains as
hopelessly unreconstructed as the day after the
surrender at Appomatox. He longs for tbe
"eood old days of slavery." and declares that
'universal freedom wiJJ cause universal ruin In
this country, sooner or later.
Chief Justice Chase had a love affair
which he never forgot, although be Uvea to
marry and bnry three wives before be was 40
years old. When a poor school teacher in
Washington be bad among his pupils tbe sons
of William Wirt, the Attorney General of the
United States. Miss Wirt's particular friend
was Miss Elizabeth Cabell, of Richmond, Va.,
who frequently stayed at the home of tbe
Wirts. Here Mr. Cbase met her and lost his
heart, but the proud Virginia girl, while pleased
with the attentions ot tbe clever Yankeeyoutb,
would cot think of marrying a school teacher.
SALE OP CURIOS.
Collection of Mexican Hieroglyphics. Gods,
Etc, Will be Sold at Auction.
rSFECIAL TELXOBAM TO THE DISPATCH.
Washington, August 80. The first sale by
the new Marshal of the District, Mr. Ransdell,
is a rather peculiar one. It will take place on
tbe 4th of September, and is the Abodiaco col
lection of Mexican antiquities, which bas for
years been on exhibition in the Smithsonian
Institution. It consists of a large number of
hieroglyphics on stone, gods, goddesses, sym
bolic stones of various kinds, urns and uten
sils. Chiefly among them is tbe great calendar
stone representing the days, montbs and sea
sons. Tbe collection is sold as the property of
Euphemio Abodlano, though it really belongs
to tbe Smithsonian. Tbe writ is issued in the
interests of D. Appleton fc Co., tbe publishers,
who had a prior lien, and is to satisfy a debt of
a little over a thousand dollars. The goods are
attached in tbe hands of S. p. Langley, garni
shee. A PLUCKY YOUNG BRIDE.
She Broke Her Arm, but tbe Ceremony
Went on Just tbe Same.
LlNWOOD. C August 3a Six weeks ago a
young man giving his name as E. E. Manning,
of New York City, arrived bere and became a
guest ot tbe Red Bank Hotel. He fell in love
with Salhe Kraft, a pretty waiter girl at the
hotel, and shotted her many attentions. Tbey
were to have been married yesterday.
An honr berore tbe ceremony she determined
to take a horseback .ride to quiet ber nerves.
She came back nith a broken arm, but had it
set and went on with tbe ceremony.
Should be Tncked Oil.
London Truth bas a correspondent who wants
tbe following stanza tacked on to the British
national antbem: t
Grandchildren not a few.
With great-grandchildren, too,
She blest bas been.
We've been their sureties,
Paid them gratuities.
Pensions, annuities,
God save thd Queen.
Prophet De Toe'a Prediction.
e'.lr
Haceensack, N. J., August 30. Weather
Prophet DeVoe predicts that tbe first frost
will occur in the vicinity of Nfcw York on Sep
tember 13. According to hid forecasts New
England will suffer from floods during the
first ten days of September that will equal
those that have recently occurred-in New York,
Pennsylvania and New Jersey. He says that
that the country about Ntw York City will be"
visitea anal oepiemuer oy nrary thunder
storms.
A Bf no 10 be Envied.
From tbe Chicago News.
Tbe thought of Mr. Cleveland swin.
airily
in a hammock must awaken envious
tbe bosom of tbe blonde-whiskered
lings In
1 an
from Indiana who at any hour of the
can
look out of tbe window and see a row
.office
seekers sitting on bis front stoop,
A Spider Jumped on Him.
Hartford City, Ind-, August 30. A
man named Harley, seven miles north ot
who was bitten on tbe foot by a spider a weel
ago, is, the doctor says to-night, in a dangerous
condition and likely to die from the effect of
tbe bite. Tbe spiller jumped npon Harley from
a pack of pine shingles.
A riittiburcer Dies at 113.
ISrEClALTKLtailAlITO tub dispatcii.i
Keokuk, August 30. Jacob Rogers, ot Oak
land Mills, died to-day aged 113 years. He was
born In Pittsburg 'in 1778. He fought ia the
war of 1812. and died, the oldest Mason In the
United State.. " h
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PARKS FOR PITTSBUEG.
A Citizen Polnts'Out One of Oar Greatest
Needs Some buggemfons Wortby of
the Attention of Every PlMsbnrger.
Mr. Alexander Murdoch, of this city, who
has been at Buffalo the past week in attend
ance at tbe Florists' National Convention, is
enthusiastic over the reception there given to
the 500 delegates of this important industry.
Mr. Murdoch said to tbe writer: "Onr conven
tion this year was by fat tbe most interesting
we have ever held. The good people of Buffalo
treated tbe delegates to a continued ovation,
and the recollection of the few days I
spent there will stay, with me as one
of tbe pleasant events of tbe past.
In many respects Buffalo is far In the lead of
our own city. Particularly do 'they lead ns In
tbe matter of parks and drives. There are 'in
tbe city of Buffalo 70 miles of asDbalt pave
ment and many more miles will be added this
season. Tbe committee .of entertainment, in
oneuay provided loo carriages for ibe dele
gates, and we were permitted to roll along the
pleasant boulevards until -we were tired out,
and at the end discovered, as the Queen of
Sheba did wben she visited Solomon, that the
half had not been told. I could not but con
trast in my mind tbe streets of my own city
with tbe grand thoroughfares of New York's
western metropolis.
.
"In the matter of parks the contrast was still
greater. Some five miles from tbe heart of
Buffalo is a park of 300 or 400 acres,wh!ch could
be reached by tbe electric road in a few min
utes at a cost of S cents, and there the people
.of all ages and conditions are having a good
time every day at tbls season of the year.
"Hammocks, swings, tables and seats were
provided in this park,and little clusters of
friends were to be seen everywhere making the
best of the opportunities for enjoyment afford
ed. Not a day passed which did not find a
multitude of Buffalo's families making tbe most
of the advantages furnished by tbeir park. The
old patriarch with his little prattling grand
children was there, and as I strolled about and
looked upon tbe pleasant knots I could not but
lament tbe want of such a delightful retreat In
my own city.
"Thousands of Pittsbnrgers who cannot afford
tbe trip to tbe mountains or tbe sea shore
would gladly embrace the opportunity of tak-
ing tbeir families to a park on Sqnirrel Hill or
some other .bast End suburb, buch a resort
would barn been a fact long ago if there had
been a sufficient amount of enterprise on the
part of our citizens.
"On tbe lake shore in Buffalo, where the fort
stood lu the olden time, is a smaller park, bnt
l this bas not the hold on the public which the
larger, more woody and country-like retreat at
a distance bas gained.
"if tbere is one thing which Pittsburg needs
above all else to-day it is a large public park to
wbicb tbe people who are nnable to get out of
town may go with tbeir families during tbe dog
days. Buffalo people feel that they never made
better investment than wben they provided
bis retreat for the mul titnde from tbe beat and
ust of the city. Would that my own city bad
similar restinp place for the toiling masses."
. As the day rt rapid transit has come, and
cable cars will ere long be ready to convey
people in all directions, five miles or more, it is
certainly higb timo that Pittsbnrg should
hare a public park. The objections to such a
retreat for tbe masses, which held good a few
years ago, are now removed by the improved
inetho&of locomotion which have come into
vogue.
Itissafeito say that no great city of the
land to-day "is so utterly destitute of park privi
leges as our own. Who will make the move,
and press it to 'a conclusion, for a suburban
park, where the masses may picnic on snmmer
days. v - J. fi. Younq.
JkL
S0LDIES HE
W1NNEES.
Close of tbe Competitive Firing of Arlsona
and California.
rsrrciAL telegram to the pisfatcim
Fort Wlwgate, N-L( August '3a The
eighth and last day of " cavalry competitive
firing departments o na and California
opened very favorably contestants, and
some most excellent scores were made. Private
Stewart and several others scoring 138 points
out of a possible 20& Tbere has been a per
ceptible diminution in the scores of Private
Foley, Second Cavalry, as be is known as one
ot the best shots in the army, he having been
on the army team in 1SS8, and was expected by
all to win tbe gold medal, and there exists some
doubt as to his trying for tbe position this year,
ho having made the remarkable score of 175
points out of a possible 200 at a known distance,
the best score made by any one on tbe team.
In tbe afternoon a heavy rain started in, last
ing all evening, wbicb paused much annoyance
and made it very disagreeable skirmishing,
tbe mud being almost knee deep, tbns prevent
ing tbe same scores being made as were made
In the morning. Stewart's shooting will prob
ably, without exception, lead the army. This
same man won a medal at Wimbledon,
England, while a member of the Forty-second
Highlanders. Private Stewart wins the di
vision gold medal. Private Reiser. Sergeant
May and Truer peter Cbalman also win gold
medals, and Sergeant Parker, Lieutenant
Wilder and Corporal Heiser win silver medals.
HE EARNS HIS SALARY.
A Methodist Clergyman Who Supplies Five
Pal pita for 8300 a Tear.
Middletown, N. YM August sa Some of
the circuit preachers among tbe Methodist
brethren of tbe rural districts earn their
meager salarios by pretty hard work. Take,
'for example, tbe case of Rev. Henry Litta,
aged 65 years, who has charge of no less than
five small congregations scattered over the
rough and thickly settled region west of tbe
lower borders of Greenwood Lake. The five
congregations meet in churches or school
bouses at Newfoundland. Wllliamsville, Canis
teer, Stockholm and Milton, points averaging
five miles apart, and wblch must be reached
by wagon over rough country roads. Dominie
Lltts holds fonr regular services with sermons,
weekly, as follows: At one church on Saturday
evening, at tbe second on Sunday m jrning, at
tbe third on Sunday afternoon, and at tbe
fourth no Sunday evening. Tbe fifth congre
gatiou is provided for by alternately sandwich
ing it in place of one ot the others.
In addition to bis regular round. Dominie
Lltts attends special and prayer meetings, and
officiates at funerals and weddings, and visits
tbe sick, frequently Including In' ms ministra
tions families out-ide ot bis own proper flock.
His yearly salary for all these labor is J50O,
together with the proceeds of one donation,
wbicb may run bis annual stipend up to 65a
Hogs Kill n Cow.
WATSEKA jLL.,August 3a A valuable short
horn cow, belonging to Charles Fowler, was
attacked to-day by a lot of bogs feeding in the
pasture with her and llterallv torn to pieces.
The hogs were with great difficulty driven
from tbeir prey when discovered. This is the
first case ot tbe kind ever heard of by people
in this part of the country.
To Prevent Sameness.
from tbe Philadelphia Inqulrer.J
Every description of a aesperado, nowadays,
closes with the remark. "He is a dead shot."
Isn't it time to vary tho monotony by changing
the order of the last two words?
The Figures Got Reversed.
From tbe Minneapolis Tribune.:
And now comes Susan B. Anthony and says
69 is not the right guess at her age. Beg par
don, Susie. It was a typographical' error: OS
was what we wrote.
DEATHS OP A DAI.
H. C. Skelly.
Hush C. Skelly. tbe foremost drygoods mer
chant of McKeeaport, died at 12:30 o'clock yester
day alternoon ortypnoia pneumonia, air. Qteuy
bad been feeling poorly for some time aud about
a week ago weut to Atlantic City In hope of recov
ering his health. While at tbe seashore be con
tracted a cold and grew rapidly worse. He de
cided to come borne and on Wednesday ar rlred at
MeKeesport. He was assisted to a carriage and
driven to bt house. He was able to walk, upstairs,
and, after lying down on a bed, appeared to rest
some. His condition toward erentng became
more serious and he did not again rally.
Kerr A. Coleman.
Jerr A. Coleman, a prominent Republican poll-
1 or tbe rtrth ward; died tbls morning at bis
; residence, Mo. 222 Fifth avenue, after an 111
1 or almost a year, jne deceased lias Decu a
entortne Firth ward for over so years, and In
that tVne has been universally respected and hon
ored if a man and politician. Xerr, as be was
lamiuaviy caiieo. was a menu to everyone sua
there art many, who will ml blm. iHis fcneralj
Irom bis late xcsMesee, and services WW be held
till
lav
ne
. resl
at BC-rai
THE SEA SERPENT.
Statements That Seem to Prove Tha( the
Slonster Is Not a Myth A Number of
Strange Creatures of tbe Deep Described
br Trntb-Telllng Mariners.
Of late years there has been a" growing ten
dency to place more credence.than was at one
time done in these tales ol sea monsters appear
ing in nntoward places, and at inconvenient
times, to seafaring men of much credulity. No
doubt, the stories of the sea serpent and tbe
like were, maty of them, proved to be little
better than sailors' yarns, spun for the amuse
ment of greenhorns. Sometimes they were
shown to have been grossly perverted
narrations, which, when stripped of
their fictitious embroidery, shrank to
very prosaic dimensions; and not
unfreqnently wbat perfectly honest people
believed, and tried to make others believe, to
be horrid monsters, turned out to be bunches
ot seaweed, drift logs covered with barnacles,
ribbon fishes of no great size, or even seals and
basking sharks. Hence, there bas been a
proneness to place all these stories in the
same category, and, perhaps for this very
reason, sailors sensitive to ridicule bare be
come rather chary of "logging" such uncom
mon subjects. At tbe same time, unless every
thing like evidence is to be dismissed as fable
when It does not fit into tbe preconceived
notions of tbe theorist, it is Idle to pretend
that all these reports are due either to optical
illusion or to deliberate fraud.
Wcll-Auibcntlcnled Stories.
Most of the men who have put their obser
vations on record, says the London Standard,
are notoriously of good character, keen eye
sight, and so long familiar with every appear
ance wblch the surface of the sea presents, that
it Is simply shirking tbe question to suppose
that they must have been deceived, or were at
tempting to deceive others. In many instances
an entire ship's crew saw tho monster, and in
not a few the witnesses have been well
known merchant captains, or even the com
manders ot vessels in the Royal Navy. Thus,
Captain Hope, of HerMajesty's ship Fly, saw.
50 years ago, in the Gulf of California, a
creature not nnlike an alligator, with a long
neck and four paddles, wbicb manr zoologists
of eminence have not hesitated to regard as an
animal of tbe ictbyosaurus or plesiosaurus
type, that may have survived from ancient
times in tbe still nnexplored depths of tbe
ocean. Again, Captain McQuabae, of ber
Majesty's sbip Daedalus, saw a snake-like ani
mal, which Sir Richard Owen imagined might
nave Deen a large sea eiepnant. juui tne eye
witnesses, all of whom were well acquainted
with the specie in question, unhesitatingly re
pudiated this hypothesis.
A Very Strange Creatnre.
Scarcely more mysterious is tbe story of the
huge "snake" wbicb tbe crew of the Pauline saw
11 years ago, coiled twice round a sperm whale
in the South Atlantic, and then, after towering
up many feet In tbe air, dragging Its prey to the
bottom. Still more recently. Captain Pearson
and Lieutenant Hayne, of Her Majesty's yacht
Osborne, officially reported seeing, off the coast
of Sicily, a snake-like animal, fully 30 feet in
length with triangular fins rising five or six
feet above the water, hnge Uppers which
moved like those of a turtle, and a bead six
feet in length. This might possibly, as Dr.
Andrew Wilson has suggested, have been a
monstrous ribbon fish, though, at the same
time, tbere were circumstances connected with
its appearance wbich render tbls suggestion of
donbtful value, Dr. Guntber, amongothrr emi
nent ictbyologists, regarding tbe hypothesis as
out of keeping with wbat is known regarding
the habits of the regalecus.;
Mysterious Monsters of tbe Deep.
Some of the "sea serpents" may, perhaps,
have been simply basking sharks, tbe bones
washed np on tbe shores of the Isle of Stron
say, in the Orkneys, and for a time thought to
belong to some such animal, being now as
signed to a specie of Selacbe. Great cuttle
fishes are also accountable for some of tbe
"snakes" seen by mariners. Such, undeniably,
was the Kraken which Hans Egede' figures in
his famous work on Greenland, and wbicb has
time and again been noticed off the American
shores, of such dimensions as to be quite capa
bla ot dragging small vessels under water, or
fighting an unequal battle with tbe stoutest
men. Every allowance being made for tbe
cattle fish, tbe shark, tbe ribbon fish, the float
ing seaweed, the school ot porpoises, the flight
of sea fowl and tbe like, there remain a num
ber of well-authenticated appearances which
tbere is no accounting for in any such self-
compiacenr lasnion. we mignt, pernaps, dis
miss the "So-Orm," of Olaas Magnus and
Pontopplddan'as marvels ot an uncritical age.
though In all other mat.ers these clerical his
torians were as circumstantial as Bishops
ought to be.
A Newt of Enormous Size.
Captain Webster's monster, the description
of which was in all essential points confirmed
by the Burgeon ot his ship, was seen In Octo
ber, 1876, in tbe Straits of Malacca, and in ap
pearance resembled a gigantic newt ot 45 or 60
feet long. In brief, these appearances have
been so frequent, and so minutely described
by trustworthy men familiar with every object
likely to be mistaken for wbat tbey reported.
that, in the absence of any proof to the con
trary, we are bonnd to consider tho "sea ser
pent" as still a possibility, it does not neces
sarily follow that the animals seen were "ser
pents," or even members of the snake family,
though in tbe Indian Ocean there are plenty of
Eolsonons species .Nor do the observers who
ave pinned tbeir credit to the data mentioned
affect to say that the monsters wbich they saw
were more than serpentine in appearance. 'In
deed, from the descriptions wbich tbey give,
most of those about which tbere is most doubt
seem to have been more lizard-shaped, possess
ing paddles, and even dorsal fins or crests.
An Invalid Argument.
It is no argument to declare that the Zoology
of the ocean is now too well known to admit of
the existence of snch gigantic beasts being
overlooked. In reality, tbe sea is only begin
ning to be explored. Its greatest depths have
been reached in only a few isolated places, and
even then the dredge, or the sounding appa
ratus, has only been able to bring np a few of
the minuter forms of life. A reptile 50 feet
long is not likely to be captured in this man
ner. Yet. many of the forms brongbt up were
of types hitherto only known by the remains
in very ancient rocks. Tbe fossil species of
icthyosanrns and plesiosaurus may, no doubt,
have vanished, If, indeed, tbey were deep-sea
animals.
Don't be Too Skeptical.
But it is not too much to suppose that there
may still exist, in tbe unfathomed cares of
ocean, brutes quite as marvellous as any that
lived in the boyhood of the world. At all
events, if the truth is ever to be known, the
way to advance it Is not to denounce every
tale, until sbip captains remain in tbeir cabin
when the lookout reports a "sea serpent,"
afraid that if tbey report it tbey would rnn tbe
risk of being ridiculed as fools, or branded as
liars.
HAY HAY SWALLOWED A BULL.
A Snake With Horns Goes Bellowing After
an Indiana Man.
Cobydqn, Ind.. August 80. As Lovi Mc
Kinney was coming to Corydon this morning
he beard a bellowing noise like that of a bull.
As it drew nearer be discovered a large snake
coming toward him. As he attacked it tbe
reptile showed fight, but he finally succeeded
in killing it.
Tbe snake was eight feet long and had a horn
two inches In length on its head.
Chunks of Natural Gas.
From tbe l'ublle Ledger.l
Mr. Hill, ot Indiana, has patented an inven
tion to solidify natural gas; but one plan bas
been practiced in Congress for generations, tbe
process being what is known as a motion to
give the member "leave to print."
BEFORE THE DAWN.
t
Tbe darkest hour, the last of night,
"Has often passed me, unaware;
But I've ne'er asked for more delight
To turn me (Tom my thoughts ofcire
Than, ere a sound of day Is heard.
Ere busy reet begin to throng.
To mark the gladness of the bird
That wakes tbe morning with bis song.
Ere yet a star bas left the sky
And ere the east grows dim with dawn
He bears afar tbe dar draw nigh,
While shadows still are closely drawn
And ere a harsher sound bas stirred,
With love that makes his spirit strong,
He starts from sleep, tbls bappy bird.
And wakes tbe morning with bis song.
And all day lone bis merry notes
i'tom yonder parden sweetest ring.
Though other birds their aalnty throats
May strain a prouder song to sing.
And tbus wltb music wild and free,
Be nils tbe hours that steal along
Because be slots' for Joy that be
Has waked the morning with hiasong- x
r. McArtnar Mt
KEfYS'OF THE METROPOLIS.
Ambers's Importation 'of Actor.
t!XWYORK BUREAU SPECIALS. 3
New York, August SO. Gustavo Amberg,
manager of tbe German Theater here, returned
in tbe steamship Columbia to-aay from1- his
tour through Germany and Austria. He says
he has engaged $160,000 worth ot German
actors and actresses, who will appear at his
Irving Place Theater next season, and perhaps
also at tbe Thalia Theater In tbeBowery. Ernst
Possart bat signed with Mr. Amberg for 0
performadces, 20 of which will be given In New
York and the other 30 in the West. Pcsssrt
will be supported by Mine. Hermine Clara
Delia, and In several pieces will appear with
Joseph Kainz, the Munich tragedian. Among
Mr. Amberg's other acquisitions are Ilka
Palmay. a Hungarian soabrette; Carl Streit
man, tenor; Gnssie Zimmerman, the Viennese
soubrette: Miss Tberese Leitbner, from Ber
lin. Miss Christine Cbristlen, from Berlin: Miss
Panla Schroeder, Pesth; Miss Bertha Kuebn,
Dresden: Miss Marie Weinert, Berlin; Miss
Ida Sterneck, Wlen; Mr. Oskar Kruezer,
Petersburg; Mr. Max Eisreld, Berlin; Mr.
Jacque Horwitz, Wlen; Mr. Panl Bach, Dres
den, and Mr. C. A. Frlese, Sr., stage manager,
from Vienna. Twenty Viennese chorus girls,
all perfectly lovely, who Mr. Amberg also en
gaged, will arrive here in two weeks.
Suicides Caused by Liquor.
Two rather unique suicides were reported to
the police today. Wm. Ryan, 26 years old,
who had delirium tremens for tbe last ten
dajs, jumped'down an elevator shaft from tho
seventh story. Timothy Donohue. of HobokSh.
sawed open bis throat with a dull pocket knife
in a station house, where he was locked np for
drunkenness, Ryan died almost immediately
after his fall and Donohue is dying.
Blowing His Own Horn.
Colonel Elliot F. Shepard's address before
tbe National Editorial Association at Detroit
was published verbatim in Col. Elliot F. Shep
ard's paper, the Mail and Expreu, this after
noon. In this address as printed "laugbter and
applanse" In brackets appears six times, "ap
plause" 16 times, "laughter" 8 times, "great
laugbter and applause" 4 times and "great ap
plause" 5 times. The Detroit reporter for the
Mail and Express is Colouel Sbepard.
Counterfeit Swedish Notes.
Several counterfeit 50 kroner notes of the
Sundsvalls Enskllda Bank. In Sweden, have
been passed here in the last few days. Alto
getber some 10,000 kronen of these counter
felts are now In tbe hands of immigrants and
bankers In the city. The bills are fair imita
tions, and are thongbt to have been brought
here from San Francisco.
Democratic Headquarters.
' Colonel Calvin 8. Brice, Chairman ot the
Democratic National Committee, was not In
town to-day, but at his office. No. 10 Wall
street. Tbe story that he will open a perma
nent political headquarters in that building
was denied. The only office to be opened by
Colonel Brice for any such purpose as that
indicated, is a room at No. 9 Pine street. In
wbich are to be kept the records of the Na
tional Democratic Committee. The roor- how
ever, will probably not be opened for a month.
A Very Muscular Bridegroom.
William L. Edwards, a burly young carpen
ter, got married yesterday afternoon and cele
brated his wedding with his friends till mid
night. Tben he startedYor his new home, up
town, with bis bride "on one arm and ber
bridesmaid on the other. William was drunk.
The girls also were pretty well loaded. William
swept into the Houston street station like a
cyclone, and annonnced to tbe waiting passen
gers that he bad been married to tbe "purtiest
girl In the Fift' ward." Someof tbe passengers
snickered, whereupon William proceeded to
clear the station. This he did in about a
minnte, tumbling everybody down stairs to the
street. Passengers who had paid tbeir fare
and were waiting for a train, fled to the street
in terror, and the station men stood aghast as
Edwards swept on board the train. Tbe car
was f nil, but it was cleared before the train
pulled up at Fourteenth street. Edwards and
the women, who vainly tried to pacify him,
rode in a turbulent ste alone. At Thirty
fourth street the turmoil had reached such a
height that the conductor, realizing the utter
futility of any attempt to put tbe disturber off
without help, ordered tbe train held while be
ran around to tbe Thirty-fifth street station.
Tbe danger signal was bune oat and four
trains pulled up. The six policemen sum
moned by the conductor and fire trainmen
overpowered tbe muscular young bridegroom
after a fierce tussle, and carried him off to the
police station. Then tbe L road was once
more open for traffic. William spent tbe night
in a cell and to-day was let go with a $10 fine.
THE GUKB0AT PETREL.
It Will be Accepted by tbe Government
Probable Change In Cruiser Plans.
fSriclAL TELIOUAM TO TUX DISPATCmt
Washington. August 30. After all tbe
wrangling over the gunboat Petrel, it was de
cided at tbe War Department to-day to accept
ber, with the provision that the contractors
shall pay the $100 penalty for each horse power
which she falls short of. tbe stipulated 1,103
horse power. She was built from naval de
signs, and the naval engineers feel certain
that, with cood coal and expert flrinc. she will
develop 1.300 or 1.400 horsepower. Afier her
acceptance preparations will be at once made
for a thorough trial.
The great feat wblch has just been accom
plished by tho steamship City of Paris is caus
ing much discussion among naval engineers.
Tbere is a tendency toward a conviction that
the policy of the Government should be
changed in regard to the construction of a navv.
It is believed by many that the proper method
would be to build fast cruisers on the plan of
the "Ocean Greyhound'," capable of out
staying tbe fastest merchant ships afloat, arm
them with a couple of guns, and devote the re
maining carrying capacity to coal and engines.
In that case the vessels for coast defense would
be constructed only for short cruises. They
wonid not need powerfnl engines nor a great
weight of coal, but a tremendous armament.
A lTFOOT REPTILE SLALN.
A Booster Farmer Dispatches tbe Snake
That Stole Bis Lambs.
Muu cxb, fcD August Sa For several days
Captain W. A. McCIellan, a farmer four miles
north of this city, bas been missing a numbe r
of young lambs. The theft was at first at
tributed to a number of old gray-haired men,
who were supposed to have killed tbe lambs in
order that tbey might be made young again
through tbe elitir-of-llfe process. This theory
was allayed this morning by the discovery of a
huge snake that measured 17 feet In length,
and through the thickest part of its body meas
ured 11 inches.
After a terrible fight tho snake was killed.
It is supposed tbe reptile killed the lambs. An
autopsy will be beld to determine tbe matter.
An Ohio College la Look.
Tiffin; August sa Rev. Dr. J. Koss, Chan
cellor of tbe University of Florida, bas donated
to Heidelberg College, of this city, a museum
valued at 560,000, and a 815,000 brick building
will be erected this season to receive tbe col
lection. Dr. Koss will take tbe chair of
paleontology and the directorship of the poly
technic department.
TRI-STATB TRIFLES.
In Wilkesbarre, a day or two since, as a boy
named Foote, wltb a piece of lime in his trou
sers' pocket, was at play, a comrade turned a
hose on him. The lime slaked and burned his
body badly.
Droves of small black rats infest the corn
fields of Blair county.
James Anderson, aged 76, and Anna Ner
vine, aged 17. both of Clifton. O.. were married
last week. He bad 1,000 acres ol land.
A very remarkable thing occurred near Ac
cident, Pa. Some young ladies were on Mr.
Fox's farm, and a snake crept oyer Miss Deit
rick's foot. She f rlgbtened the other young
ladles, and they raised the alarm, wben Mrs.
Fox came to the rescue and with the assistance
of a hoe killed the old snake and 87 young ones,
AT Huntington, W.Va.,,the other night,
Dora Johnson, a 4-year-old colored child, gave
a public exhibition on the. piano. A large au
dience attended and was enthusiastic over ber
performance. Tbe child Is considered a musical
wonder scarcely second to Blind Tom.
An Eastern Ohio man only 31 years ot age is
a grandfather.
George McWtt.t.TA . of-Younestown, has
apairot shoeslmade la JM6. "They an star
wboie, sad Be
CDRIODS C0NDENSATI0SS.5
I "S
John Terhune, of Franklin, Ind.','
taken out a license to marry his mother-In-Mrs.
"Richardson. ;
A rat and a match set a steambo
fire at Brunswiek, Ga.. the other night
blaze was soon extinguished.
A woman in Maine, speakingi
sudden death of ber husband. Is report
have said: "Before be died be ate a gallc
oysters fortlOQ, and cleared J85 forlifctfai
his funeral only costing $15." ""
Chattanooga has received a "wa.
phone." This is an instrument shaped like
ordinary Iron rod. which, wben placed on
stopcock, will convey tho sound to tbe ear 4
cas6 the water is running. In this way it can
be determined whether nr nntthn water la
shut off in a bouse without entering the house.
At the fair at Terre Haute the other
day Mr. James A. Hall and Miss Rocka Heyra
were married by the Mayor in the judges' stand
of the race track, and in the presence of 15,080
persons. Tbe fair association gave them a pre
mium of $20. and merchants In tne city gave)
them various household articles, in all amount
inc to $200 in value.
A local brass band plays all day long la
a room at the Edison laboratory, in West
Orange, N. J., for a phonograph, and large
numbers of duplicate cylinders containing tbe
melody are made and shipped to tbe Paris Er
bibltion. The manufacture and shipment of.
the cylinders will continue so long as tbe exhi
bition remains open.
The following advertisement appeared
in a recent number ot the London Tablet: "To
Parents Unruly boys andirls of any age vis
ited and punished at thelrbomes by a thorough
disciplinarian accustomed to administer cor
poral punishment. All bad habits cured by one
or two attendances. Fee. 5 shillings tor two
visits. Address Birch.'" .
The petrified body of a woman was un
earthed in the cellar of the old African Metho
dist Church, Sixth and Lombard streets. Phila
delphia, by workmen who are tearing down the
building. Tbe body was in a coffin which was
Inclosed in a lead-lined box. It Is In a perfect
state of preservation, and Is supposea to have
been buried over 100 years.
''Grand Trunks" is a phrase which has
perhaps puzzled more than one French trans
lator of English. It has not, however, been so
literally rendered, so far as appears, as it wag
the other day in a Parisian periodical In an
article on Mr. Edion. The Grand Trunk was
metamorphised into "Grande Valise du chemln
de f er," or "big railroad valise."
There is one terrible circumstance in
connection with the Venetian glass industry,
and that is that after many years of work.when
these good people are between 40 and 60 years
of age, tbey begin to lose their sight, and after
a short while are wholly blind. Tbe blindness
is caused by the excessive beat and also by tbe
glare ot tbe never-ceasing flames from the glass
furnaces.
Mr. John M. Stearns, of Brooklyn, was
united in marriage on Friday to Mrs. Katie
Vesper, of Tbomaston, Me. Mrs. Stearns Is
tbe veteran lawyer's third wife and he Is her
third husband. Tbe latter h?s baen a widower
for two years and a bait, and the former has
been a widow for two) ears. The bride is a
cultured woman, fairly advanced In years, and
the groom is 78.
There are 48 zoological gardens in the
world. 6 of them being in the United States,
located as follows: Philadelphia, New York,
Cincinnati, Chicago, St. Louis and San Fran
cisco. These institutions are supported by the
cities or by local enterprise instead of tbe na
tional Government, bnt in Europe tbere Is an
entirely different state of affairs, nearly every
nation supporting its own garden or park, and
some of them support several.
Accoiding to a French paper a sea
monster, such as no fisherman has ever seen
before, has been stranded on Bancals Rocks,
situated to tbe west of the Island of S t. Honorat,
near Cannes. Tbe creature measures 5
metres in lenatb, and Is 5 metres round the
thickest part of Its body. It bas a beak re
sembling that of a parrot and two horns on its
bead; its eyes are at a distance of one metre
from tbe extremity of tbe beak,
An enormous yellow spider in an im
mense web wblch was found in the back yard
of Deacon Porter. In the South Chester colored
settlement, raised a ereat commotion among
the ignorant neighbors tbe other day. Some
bow some of tbe more superstitious colored
people believed the v saw the words 'Tbe world
is coming to an end" In tbe Outlines of tbe web,
and the colored population flocked to tbe place
In great numbers and were greatly friglftened. ,
Frederick Schwatka writes as fojlowsto
a Chicago papers iWbra tbe aunoimtpsrc Tvt
my discovery of cllff,dwellers ia NortbtCbiuua
hua was made some months ago, the Question
was raised ato the relation these lWing cliff
dwellers sustained to the extinct tribes wbosa
dwellings are found in Arizona. I have exam
ined the cliff dwellings here and find them tbe
same as those In Chlbaahna. Tbissupportsthe
theory that the cliff dwellers, driven out ot
Arizona by the war-like tribes found safe
refuge in tbe Sierra Madres. where I found
thousands of them a few months since."
One of the laziest men in the, country is
John Curtis, who is serving a three year's sen
tence in tbe State pmon at Salem, Ore. J3arU ,
worked in tbe foundry, and about three months
ago took off bis boots on the plea that they hurt
him, and then nnrned bis foot so severely tat
he was laid up. When the burn was healingbe
put vinegar on it and aggravated it to prevent
its getting welL Tbe prison physician threat
ened elm ana managea to cure tae woana.
Curtis was set at work again. He worked four
days, and then wltb a hatchet cut off bis left
band. It took two blows. One cut tbrcagb the
fleshy part of the hand, the other clo-n through,
tbe wrist joint. He confessed tha he did It to
avoid work.
Edward Kennedy, employed on tha
Samuels farm, in Windsor, Conn., bas un
earthed In one of tbe fields an ancient silver '
com bearing tbe colonial stamp of Massachu
setts. It is bright and tbe date and inscription
are as plain as ever. On one side is tbe word
"Massachusetts," with a tree In the centering
on the other "New England. 1652, VL" (shiU- ,
lngs). Tbe coin is one of tbe rarest of the
colonial pieces. At tbe time it was struck tbe
colonists had bnt little coin, because they had
to send tbeir money to England to buy sun
plies. Trade was carried on by barter, wampum,
indUn corn and even bullets being frequently
the medinms of exebanee. Finally, In 1652, tha
Massachusetts Legislature authorized tbe coin
ing of Pine Tree shillings, like that found by
Kennedy.
FUNNY MEVS FANCIES.
"An E month is at hand and the oysters
tew. ' 'St. Paul Pioneer Preit.
Mrs. Potter started in some time ago to
elevate the stage, but she basn't got It. high
enough yet for us to see It over the bats of tbe
ladles In front. Bolton. Courier.
Charley Fustnite declares that, although
St. Augustine avers that tbe Angles are all
blondes, It does not follow that the blondes are
allanjiles. by a large majority. iuc.
Art and Nature. "So yon. have been
way to Greece, have you?"
"Yesi saw everything there was worth seeing,
iloug other things saw Apollo wltb tbe beveled
t." Judge.
Woe Ahead. Mr. Younghusband (in the
next generatlon)-My dear, those photographs
you took wltb your new, camera are very faulty.
Jth, I fear you'll never take such photographs as
my mother used to take. Puck.
After the Elopement. He And now,
dear, since we are safe on the train, why da yon
seem so sad?
bhe (pettishly) We were not even chased. I
don't think It was one bit romantic. Puck.
Couldn't Finish His Sentence. Convict
You have been very good to ma for the past few
"months and I can't sufficiently tnankyoa. I
Visitor-Well, why doa'tyoa finish your sen
tence? Conviet-I can't sir; I've two more years to
serve. Judge.
Mr. Jones I don't think women are 'so
fond of dress, after all.
Mrs. Jones Certainly not. This constant .cry
that women are vain and fond of dress is all non
sense. But you used to think they were. What
bas caused you to change your opinion? .
Mr. Jones Well, I've been down at, tha beach
watching them bathing. itojton. Courier.-
UNDER THE KNIFE.
"Bill Ryan's bought a pair of saddle horses
Last night for Just a moment's space It v -.,
snowed - y
Bomeone has leased that yellow house of Morse's,
Tbe one down on tbe Huckleberry Road. "t
McGuffln shot bis thumb off with aplstol
And Waldon's found his strayed magenta cow
The Florences bare gone away to Bilstol j5S
We'U have a are department shortly now. 'te
"A bear was killed last week on Walnut Mwrni
tain . -l5is
Did you hear. Jones, tbs humorist, last nlitbtfjj
Tbe drug store's got a brand new soda fouatata-'
They're going to paint ma 01a Drown seswt-
hoase white I"
Bis vletlm's woe tbs barber ltttlebredeeVa
Bat to bis newsy tongue full power gv.l
And poured oat rural Jcu while be prossMssl
-Wish Ms co ceraarey naveivei
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