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THE PITTSBURG-
DISPATOH,' SATURDAY, MAHOH 9, 1889,
j
Bipplaj.
. ESTABLISHED FEBRUARY 8. 1S46.
r Vol. 44, So. 29. Entered at l'ittsburg Fostofflcc,
Ttoicmbcrii, 1867, as eccona-ciass maner.
Business Office97 and G9 Fifth Avenue.
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P1TTSBORG, SATURDAY, MAR. 9, ISSH.
A PEESISTZKT BTTMOB.
The rumor of actual hostilities between
the German and United States vessels at
Samoa,with the result of sinking; our vessel,
seems to be a survival or echo of the previous
indefinite report which came to the surface
at Kiel. The source of these stories is such
as to give, them little credibility, and ex
cept for the obstinate repetition and ampin
cation of the report, there is no reason for
giving it much attention.
Indeed, upon examination, ihe form in
which the rumors come out discredit them.
If there has been any fighting at Samoa it
may be taken as certain that the vessel
which took the news away from the island,
would not leave before the fight was finished.
If that report has reached Germany, how
comes it that the people who knew that
there had been fighting last week, did not
know its result until this week? It looks
m,uch more as if some German purveyor of
sensations is making up the story piece
meal, and getting all that he can out of it
until authentic news arrives.
Of course if such an event has taken place
it means war. A war at present would be
very disadvantageous to this country; but
it would not be half so damaging to our
position among the nations as to tamely
submit to such an act of overt hostility.
EDITORIAL AMBITIONS.
The expectant attitude of some of the
leading editors of Republican organs is the
subject of wide comment. It is asserted
that Whitelaw Iteid expects to go as Minis
ter to London, irrespective of the intima
tions that have already been heard from
abroad that the postprandial abilities of
Chauncey M. Depew would make him per
sona grata to the nobility and aristocracy.
Colonel Elliot F. Shepard thinks the
sunny clime of Italy would suit him, while
Joseph Medill is willing to officially in
spect the pleasures of Paris, and John C.
New those oi Vienna. To hold the Iron
Chancellor in check, who is better fitted
than field Marshal Murat Halstead?
An envious cotemporary asks, in view of
these possibilities, "Who will run the IJe
"jiublican organs of this great nation?" But
that question is a recommendation rather
than an objection. "With these eminent
journalists safely out of the country the
organs may be run as newspapers.
TBANSPABENT EVASIONS.
'One of the stock events accompanying in
auguration, as duly reported in connection
with the last ceremony, was the act of turn
ing back the hands of the Senate clock, per
formed by a doorkeeper of that body, in or
der to permit the transaction of some de
layed business introductory to the inaugu
ration. This, in connection with some other
legislative idiosyncrasies, is a display of the
belie! of our statesmen that constitutional
"requirements are met by violating them
and preventing any record of the violation.
Under the Constitution, the term of Con
gress ends at noon on the 4th of March. It
Is not a very vital matter to transgress the
constitutional limit ten or fifteen minutes;
i but it is getting to be a vital matter that
legislators set the example of violating the
rule by an evasion which is open and purely
formal. Everyone knew when the Senate
clock had been setback that its five minutes
to twelve meant five minutes past twelve;
but because the record of time had been
falsified in the presence of the Senate and
the public it was deemed regular.
A more grave development oi the same
theory is the habit of transacting legislative
business so as to avoid record of the fact
that no quorum is present. The constitu
tional requirement of a quorum for the
transaction of legislative business was not
an idle and speculative one. It was put
there for the vital purpose of securing full
and intelligent action. Yet it has got to be
the common custom for legislative bodies
,to go on taking action by viva voce votes,
when no quorum is present, and calling it
legitimate, because the absence of a quorum
is not put on the official record. This is
. practically the tactics of the ostrich, which
imagines itself hid when it gets its head
under the sand.
Men who have sworn to uphold the Con
stitution, and who make the laws, should
set the example of obeying both, instead of
the example of evading both by the most
transparent devices.
BEC0OKIZE THE IMPBOVEMEKT.
The fact that few, even of the opposition
press, have found occasion to speak ill of
President Harrison's inaugural is credited
by the Democratic Philadelphia Times
partly to the inoffensiveness of the docu
ment, but more to "the patriotism, honor
. and courtesy of the Democratic and inde
pendent press." Prom which the Times
goes on to express the expectation that in
this administration "there will be no repe
tition of that indecent lying and carping
and base misrepresentation that so widely
characterized the opposition to Mr. Cleve
land." Our cotemporary should turn its
memory back to the, administrations of
' Grant and Lincoln, and instead of the
above scolding, recognize the gain in the
.intellitrence of our politics which is shown
' by the fact that the opposition nowadays,
whether Republican or Democratic, has lit
tle of the scunllity and intemperance that
attacked these great men. It will not do to
-claim that the progress has been made en
tirely by one party.
. T FREE SEATS AIUJ CRITICISM.
vWhen Mary Anderson played in St.
Louis recently tbe critic of the Ulobe
WDcmocrai of that city distinguished , hiia-
self by attacking the actress, with extraordi-
nary vigor and a vocabulary of abuse that
astonished everybody. Here is a small
piece of this chaste criticism:
As for JPerdita, the delineation ot the sweet
girlish rusticity and roseate warmth of love,
which crown tha character of this delicious
creation ot Shakespeare, is as far beyond Mary
Anderson as the constellation of Hercules is
beyond tbe dead and dinky moon. You might
as well talk of the versatility of amarlinspike
or the protean quality of a chunk of red
granite. It is as sensible to assert, that Mary
Anderson is twins or triplets as to assert that
she is versatile.
Miss Anderson s agent states that the at
tack was evoked by his refusal to furnish
the editor of the Globe-Democrat with more
than the usual number of free tickets. It
is not pleasant nor is it easy to believe that
this explanation is correct. Doubtless the
Globe Democrat will have some other reasons
to show for its critic's comminatory
language.
JJut supposing that dramatic criticism in
newspapers were to be conducted generally
on a free ticket basis, what a glorious thing
it would be for the imbeciles and incapa
bles that are now all too numerous
behind the footlights! At present
these dramatic humbugs are constant
ly Tjeing shown up to the public
in their true colors. Some oi them are
killed each year by outspoken criticism,
and thejath of the pretender on the stage
is daily growing more precarious. But if
the critics of the newspapers could be
muzzled or mollified by. gifts of free seats
the situation would be vastly different. A
regular tariff of exchange might be set up
between the actors and the critics. So
many seats for so many sentences of praise.
The enterprising advance agent would no
longer boast of his star's diamonds, her pri
vate car, her Worth dresses, or her litho
graphs, when he invaded the editorial rooms
but simply whisper into the editorial ear:
"Three rows of seats in the parquet, dear
boy ! " and think no more about the coming
criticism.
But the days of free seats in exchange for
free puffery are past, fortunately for good
actors, good plays and decent journalism.
THE RIVAL C0TBTS.
The last act of the comedy drama arising
out of the pugilistic exhibition between the
contending forces on Sunday law enforce
ment took place at the Police Court yester
day. From the preliminary stage, inwhich
the ardor of the disputants over the enforce
ment of the Sabbath led them to punching
each other's heads on a week day, down to
the point where one oi the prosecuting wit
nesses pointed out the wrong man as the
Law and Order agent who committed the
assault, there have been plenty of funny
aspects, as well as serious ones, in this case.
But there has hardly been anything more
purely comic than the spectacle of the
Police Justice reviewing the judicial de
liverances of Common Pleas No. 2, and
emphatically reversing them, so far as his
own jurisdiction can go.
If the opinion, ruling or statement of the
police justice is intended to overset legal
rulings of the Common Pleas bench on the
methods of arrest used in this case, we can
leave that question to be fought out be
tween the judicial authorities, with a pro
found trust that the Supreme Court will not
be called upon to intervene. If it is in
tended, as appears from 'its tone, to deny
any attempt at unfairness on the part of the
police justice, it remains to be remarked
that the prolonged statements as to what he
did in the case fail to explain away one im
portant fact. That is, that the prisoners
were put into a patrol wagon for the pur
pose of carrying them two squares, taken to
the police station, and there refused the
privilege of depositing bail, which is ac
corded the ward hustlers whose bibulous
tendencies bring them into durance vile, or
the gilded youth who may be so unlucky as
to be caught in a raided faro bank. As
Judge "White's remarks applied to these
methods, the lower conrt's reversal of the
upper court's remarks have the humorous
quality of leaving matters about where it
found them.
As to the case itself, the evidence, though
contradictory, was sufficient to make out a
pretty good case of disorderly conduct
against both parties, and to justify a heavier
fine on both than was imposed on one.
STEWAErS PET SCHEME.
The reappearance in the extra session of
the Senate, of Senator "Stewart's stock reso
lution requiring the Secretary of the Treas
uary to purchase 51,000,000 worth of silver
bullion each, month, was to be expected.
Senator Stewart's sole theory of public busi
ness is to serve his proprietors by doing the
business of the Central Pacific railroad, and
to urge this resolution, both in season and
out of season, for the benefit of the bonanza
kings.
A legislative policy of this sort suggests
that the Senator is starting at the wrong
place. If a government market is to be
forced for any especial interest it is right to
take the most important industries first
The iron industry is somewhat depressed at
present If the Government would purchase
4,000,000 worth of bar iron and' steel rails,
each month, it would lend activity to that
interest and employ a good many more
hands than the purchase of the same value
of silver.
The window glass trade is also running
on very close margins. The Government
might confer a great public benefit by
placing orders for 54,000,000 worth of win
dow glass monthly. In a few years the
Government stock would permit all the
crops of the country to be raised underglass,
which would make the purchase of far
greater practical utility than piling, by tens
of millions, useless silver dollars in the
Treasury.
After iron and glass, Lima oil, flour,
cotton and sugar are the next staples
to be provided for. Butter and lard would
be on the list if they were not so high
priced as to have disappeared from the list
of commercial staples. When these inter
ests are provided for it may be time to pass
Senator Stewart's resolution for the benefit
of the silver mine owners..
HENRI HIMSELF AGAIN.
It is a. mistake to suppose that the in-augurati6n.-of
Republican rule is gall and
wormwood to all good Democrats. Some
there are, no doubt, who .take it to heart,
and bewail the triumph of hateful princi
ples and the loss of the offices, but to Demo
crats of the Eon. Henri Watterson's stamp,
defeat brings a compensation in tbe shape
of freedom to stand up on the opposition
bench and jeer and criticise and condemn
the Government as he pleases.
The buoyant best friend of the Star-Eye'd
Goddess df Reform by the way, the Star
Eyed lady, has had a long rest has already
flashed her sword in the spring sunlight
which makes Kentucky glorious. Chevalier.
Wattcrson has no longer to mind his p's
and q's as he ejects the burning thoughts
ihat throng and throb within his brain.
The .stout gentleman who, from" the remote
throne ot the White House, impended like
& ten-ton weight attached to a slender cord
above the bead of the Courier-Journal's
editor, is retired to innocuous desuetude.
!No longer does the stress of concealing free
trade views under a domino of tariff reform
restrain the soul ot the gallant Henri. He
can' say what he thinks and irhat he pleases
without imperiling the Democracy's loaves
and fishes. There is fun and enough for
Watterson now; let the game go onl
Geneaii Simon Caiteeon, while he
may, not have been a perfect model for the
ambitious youth, as a practical politician,
is certainly a pattern for those who wish to
study the art of bearing a hale old age
vigorously and gracefully. His celebration
of his ninetieth birthday yesterday showed
the old leader, who laid aside active leader
ship 12 years ago,as vigorous in mind and as
staunch in body as ever. The popularity
of the Camerons who have retired from poli
tics unites every one in wishing to the old
leader an indefinite prolongation of his
heartyVsld age.
NATUEALiiT, all the hungry and thirsty
Republicans are rallying for a clean sweep,
just as their Democratic equivalents did
under the last administration, and between
Republican politicians and Democratic
ditto the public does not caremnch whether
there is a clean sweep or not
THE reported declaration in President
Harrison's inaugural that he would not ac
cept a second term did not materialize.
Probably the President decided that if there
is any reason why he should abjure his
constitutional privilege of being a candidate
for re-election, it would.be more cogent to
r efuse it when the nomination is offered to
him, than when it is not. The country has
just had an example of just how much a
four-years old pledge against a second term
is worth.
Secretjujy Colmait went out of office
with the proud consciousness that he had
committed no mistakes as a Cabinet officer.
It is difficult to make mistakes in a position
where the incumbent has nothing to do and
which he holds for only a week.
With regard to the silly term applied by
some Democratic organs to the present ad
ministration, "The reign of Harrison II,"
the Boston Globe says: "We have had two
days of Harrison's rain." The Globe should
do jnstice and recognize that as the rain set
in thirty-six hours before the inauguration,
it is more reasonable to set it down as an
attempt of Cleveland's weather bureau to
throw cold water on the new President
West Virginia appears to be so long of
Govrenors that she may be suspected of try
ing to corner the market. But the produc
tion of the West Virginia kind is capable
of indefinite expansion.
Matoe Grant's declaration to General
Manager Eckert the other day: "T want
the poles down, and quickly too, or I'll
know the reason why," sounds like busi
ness. But it is very easy to tell the reason.
The poles do not come down because, the
big corporations do not want them down.
If Mayor Grant can make the corporations
do what they do not wish to do, he will be
a cynosure among Mayors.
With regard to those arrests, we infer
from the local reports that Police Court No.
1 has overruled the Common Pleas Court
No. 2.
THE New York Legislative investigation
of the Assembly ceiling steal having been
skillfully delayed until the Important wit
nesses have got safely out of the State, the
jobbers have secured a pretext for letting
the matter drop. It is not difficult to avoid
investigating a matter of which the dis
closures might prove inconvenient to both
parties.
Gekjuan journalism has evidently fallen
in love with the-fake method on internation
al news.
The announcement that the new post
office building will be ready for the roof by
June 1, is calculated to take away the
public breath. But the roof on a public
building only 15 years after the site was
purchased! Such reckless haste is contrary
to all Government precedents.
PROMINENT PEOPLE PARAGRAPHED.
Travelers over the Pennsylvania Central
have long been amused by the sign "Cleveland
and Frank" on a building near the Newark, N.
J.. station. "Take Harrison'sTonic" is a lecend
which can be seen from tlio car windows as the
train leaves Philadelphia.
Noah' Brooks and William D. Howells are
among the few well-known writers who have
learned to manipulate the typewriting ma
chine. Mr. Brooks, who has been used to
dictating his literary productions to a sten
ographer, now sits down to his typewriter and
plays on the keys as he composes. Ho finds
that this process saves a great deal of time.
Ms. Wisdom is the oldest -member of the
new Cabinet being very nearly 63 years of age.
Mr. Miller is the youngest member, liot having
reached his 48tk year. Mr. Blaine and Mr.
Rusk are about tbe same age. 59. Mr. Proctor
is 5S and Mr. Tracy GO. Next to Mr. Miller, the
youngest man in the Cabinet, is Mr. Wana
maker, who is not quite 52. The average age
of the members of Harrison's Cabinet is G7
years. The oldest who ever entered a Cabinet
was Lewis Cass, who became Buchanan's Sec
retary of State at 75. Alexander Hamilton was
the youngest of all Cabinet officers.
There was one curlons circumstance in con
nection with the ceremonies in the United
States Senate on Monday morning which seems
to have escaped mention heretofore. While
the prayer was being delivered the President,
General Harrison, the Justices. Senators,
diplomats, and in fact everybody on the floor,
from page to the President pro tem of the
Senate, stood reverently-erect excepting Secre
tary Bayard. All through the prayer ho sat
with his head upon his hand as though sunk in
arevcrio and unconscious of what was golngon
around him. His failure to rise was a most
marked and astonishing circumstance.
Lord Habtixgton and Lord Randolph
Churchill do not seem to be losing much sleep
over Ihe 2Ymcj-Plgott fiasco.for both have been
amusing themselves during the last week at
the roulette tables of Monto Carlo. Each
gambles in tho same manner as ho plays at
politics. Hartington, cautious, conservative,
pays Uowna few louis at a time, playing a slow
game. Impetuous Lord Randolph plunges on a
small scale, paying down 10,000 francs at a turn
and borrowing more when his change gets low.
By the way. Lord Randolph seems suddenly to
have grown tired of the turf. Though but a
recent accession, he has advertised his horses
for sale. This, however, may indicate that he
is going to try i different breed, for his pres
ent string has not been conspicuously success
ful. What We May Expeet Soon.
From the New York 'World.
A better acquaintance with the geography of
the moon. Mars and other still moro distant
spheres appears to be within reach. Prof.
Hastings, of the Sheffield Scientific School at
New Haven, is credited with having achieved a
correction of chromatic aberration in the
lenses of telescopes uhlch increases the powers
of those instruments from 10 to SO per cent
Tho time may come yet when we shall know
whether our iext planetary neighbor is in
habited or not After that it will be easy to
establish communication.
TTn'a In fSnoi! Trlffhlinir S&nna.
....r '..:.: 4
Bismarck has brought his weight down from
00 to. 165 pounds, and now boasts of one of the
finest physiques in Europe. , .
THE TOPICAL TALKER.
It is the Samo Old War and Murder
Where Folly and Health Go Hand-In-Ilnnd
The Fains of Bloke.
A nor with rosy cheeks, ragged knicker
bocker suit and stockings bright in red and
blue, diligently sold many an afternoon paper
yesterday at the corner of Smithfleld street op
posite the postofflco with tho cry: "Same old
war and murder."
Though he knew it not he described the.
Samoan sensation pretty accurately.
V
The following dialoguo took place recently at
the Ponce de Leon Hotel, at St Augustine, be
tween a guest and the clerk: v .
Guest-What is my bill?
Clerk Two hundred and ten dollars, sir.
Guest Howt
Clerk Two hundred and ten dollars, sir.
Quest Guess again!
Clerk I didn't understand you, sir.
Guest I thought you were, guessing at my
pile,
.
It is the belief of a good many people who
have visited St. Augustine that bills are drawn
up by the hotel clerks to flt the pocketbooks qf
the guests. But if a batchelor is taxed $30 a
day for his room and board he certainly gets
accommodation of an order that is not obtain
able anywhere else on this continent
.
These are not very many Northern visitors
at St Augustine now, but there are many more
than when mention was made of Florida's win
ter industry in this column a few weeks ago.
Probably at the three great hotels to-day, a
gentleman who has just returned from St
Augustine tells me, there are not more than 500
guests. At this timt last year there were 1,500
or more.
The winter has been a very damp one for
Florida. Rain has fallen every day until the
last week or two. Now it is fair, and the place
is of course delightful.
N.EAKLYall the people aro at Mr. Flagler's
palace, tbe Ponco do Leon, but nevertheless the
Cordova and the Alcazar, or tbe Casino, as the
latter is moro often called, aro being run with
lavish outlay, and the staff of servants are just
as large" as if all the North were crowding at
their doors.
Last Friday a ball was given at the Ponce de
Leon, and the hotel furnished a supper to the
guests which the swell est of the New York
crowd declared was as perfect a banquet as
they had ever seen. The guests did not have
to pay a cent for it That's the style Mr. Flag
ler affects in his role of host Nothing is too
good for his guests.
V
Most of the sojourners in St Augustine are
young people, and it goes without saying, that
they represent the richest families of the
country. Some of the young men have their
yachts there, and to facilitate tho emptying of
their greenback-gorged pockets, a few charm
ing little games of chance are kept going pretty
much all the time in the cottage which some
eastern bloods bought last year from Pierre
Lorillard.
In fact there seems to bo no end of fun down
there for everybody. Even the millionaires
behind the hotels seem to enjoy the novelty of
conducting business that does not an(i proba
bly never can pay.
,
By tho way some of tho millionaires over in
England seem to be at a loss what to do with
their surplus funds. A young woman writes
to me from that country in a rather sarcastic
vein about a grand entertainment that has
been given at the Duke of Westminster's Lon
don bouse recently. Ellen Terry, Mrs. Ban
croft, Maud Millet Herr Wolf, Isidore de
Lara, the son of a pork Dutcber and at present
the idol of fashionable musical circles, and a
host of other great artists combined to amuse
an audience of tip-top swells who paid to each
for their seats.
"What was this superb combination of talent
and blood and fashion for?" my correspondent
asks. "Oh! to provide a home for the poor,
dear dogs whose owners, unable to pay the dog
tax, turn them out of hoose and home. Of
course tbe dogs must be considered and pro
vided for amply before a refuge is built for
poor, homeless, starving human beings I How
generous of the Duke of W to lend his.
mansion and his great name to such a cause.
There! You see I am heartless, and have no
pity for the poor lost 'doggies.' But when one
thinks of the hundreds and hundreds of poor,
degraded men and women homeless and hope
less, it makes my blood boil to see such a f ass
being made overa lot of dogs."
And there is a good deal of feeling of this
sort among the men and women of England
who think for themselves, and are not blinded
by the cataract of gold. It is the sort of feel
ing that breeds republicanism.
ARSESIC FOE ALCOHOLISM.
A Young Man Nearly Kills His Father by
Using This Medicine.
Edoabtowx, Mass,, March 8. The Benson
household in 'West Tisbury has recently been
tho scene of some most remarkable goings on.
Young William T. Benson is in jail, charged
with putting' poison into kis father's whisky
and eel chowder. The son implicates his mother,
who, he swears in an affidavit consulted him as
to the best way of curing thehead of the bouse
of alcoholism. They decided, he says, that
arsenic in his whisky would turn him against
drink about as effectually as anything.
The arsenic was placed in the old gentleman's
whisky and he suffered unutterable agony, bat
finally pulled through. The son and the wife
rather expected the old man would die, and
they went about telling the neighbors to look
out for a funeral. The son confesses that he
also put arsenic in some chowder that his
mother ate, but he is believed to be lying.
DREAMED OP A DRAGON,
And Awoke to Find His Head Out of the
Window nnd His Thront Cut.
NEW Yoiik, March 8. A German barber
known as "Phil," employed by Frank Silva at
Long Island City, dreamed on Wednesday
night that a blue dragon with green eyes and a
red tail was about to devour him. He sprang
to escape tho monster, and a crash of glass
awoke him. He found himself standing at, the
window with his head through tho glass and
blood pouring from a jagged wound In his
throat. Mr. Silva rescued him, and a doctor
sewed up the wound.
An Ensler Way Out of it.
From Detroit Free I'ress.l
Somoofthe New York papers made an at
tempt to publish a list of the New Yorkers
who were at Washington during the inaugural.
Those loft In charge of the Indianapolis papers
saved typesetting by noticing those who re
mained at home. .
Tho Trains at the Inauguration.
From the Detroit Free Frcss.J
It is fortunate that there were not as many
accidents, during the excitement at Washing
ton, to the trains on tho railroads as to the
trains at the inauguration ball. By tho way,
all tho railroad trains were sat-in.
DEATHS OF A DAY.
John Ericsson.
NewYobk, Jlarch S. John Ericsson, the great
engineer, who gained a world-wide reputation as
the Inventor and builder of tho monitor, died at
Jits home, X Beach street, tills city, late last
night or cystitis. Mr. Ericsson had been 111 for
a week when a physician was called In, but ow
ing to his advanced age be failed to rally. John
Ericsson was born in the province of IVcrmeland,
Sweden, in 1803. After having been a cadet in the
engineers, he cnterod the navy as ensign In taa,
Was employed In -surveys In Northern Sweden,
and rose to the rank of captain. In 1ISC, by per
mission, he went to England. hoDlng to Intro
duce Ills Invention of a ''flame engine," which
shonld work independently of steam. This was
substantially the same as the "caloric en-
ghie," which be afterward perfected
ut owing to the circumstances under
which it was tried, it proved unsuccessful,
air. Ericsson will be known In history rrom bis
connection with what Is called tho ".Monitor"
sfstem for tlie construction of vessels of war
xliis consists In placing tho armament of the
vessel in a revolving turret Impregnable to shot,
and capnblo of delivering Arc la every direction.
The idea has been claimed by several persons,
among others by Captain Cowpcr Coles, of the
lirltlsn navy, about ISM: but Mr. Theodore B
Tlmby had patented It In America somotcn years
earlier. Ericsson does not claim the Idea, but only
Its arst practical application. This consisted In
placing the revolving turret upon a hull Itself Im
pregnable to jboU Jiarly In the American civil
War Ericsson built. In 100 days, for tho United
States Government, the first vessel of this class
it did good service In-Jlarch, jsffi when It put an
end to the work of the Confederate Ironclad Mer
rlmac, which had the day before easily destroyed
two of the finest frigates in the Union nayy.
Several other vessels of this order, embodying
many. Improvements on the original, were con
structed under the supervision orErlMKftn. a a
thejilose of the Civil w ar he gave his attention to
ihe construction or engines. In which heat, notln
the form of steam, should be the motive nower. .
AN IMPORTANT CIR0DLAR
Isised by tbe Intor-State- Commission, Con
cernlng.Somo Amendments.
Washington, March 8. The Inter-State
Commerce Commission to-day Issued an im
portant circular pertaining to tbe inter-State
commerce act of March 2, 1889. In it attention
is called to the fact that an advance in rates
shown upon joint tariffs is forbidden, "except
after ten days' notice to the commission," and
a reduction in such rates is also forbidden "ex
cept after three days' notice to the com
mission." The time in each case is to he com
puted from the day when tbe notice oi advance
or reduction reaches the office of tha commis
sion in Washington. The circular continues:
"Tho transportation of passengers or freight
over continuous lines or routes operated by
more than one carrier, upon through tickets or
through billing, necessarily Implies the exist
ence of joint tariffs. Ail joint tariffs now filed
in the office of the commission will be under
stood as remaining in force until due naiice of
advance or reduction is given. When no other
tariff is filed the rates on traffic are understood
to be the sum of the local rates of tha indi
vidual roads.
"It is therefore now an indictable offense for
any carrier to participate in the reception of
compensation above or below the established
rate for the transportation of any joint traffic
whatsoever. This provision operates topre
vent discrimination among shippers, and in
case of its violation proof can readily be made."
Another provision requires tbe commission
to execute and enforce the provisions of the
act and makes it tbe duty of any District At
torney of the United States, upon the request
of tbe commission, to institute and prosecute
all necessary proceedings for that purpose.
The rule heretofore existed, which requires ten
days' public notice of any advance in the rates
established by individual carriers, is enlarged
by adding the following provision:
"Reductions in such published rates, fares,
or charges shall only only be made after three
days' previous public notice, to bo given in tho
same manner that notice of an advance in
rates must be given."
THE B00DLEES THWARTED.
Their Attempt to Bay TJp tho Canadian
Pnrllaraont Proves a Boomerang.
MontheaTj, March S. Thereseems to be no
doubt of the existence of a "boodlcrs' bribery
fund" in this city for the purpose of attempt
ing to defeat the bill introdnced into Parlia
ment by Prot Weldon. which provides for the
extradition of criminals to the United States.
Tbe exposure of tho scheme, however, has only
given an impetus to tho general opinion
throughout the Dominion and in Montreal
particularly that something should be done to
get rid of Uncle Sam's thieves. Expressions of
indignation were heard on all sides to-day that
the boodlers and thieves shonld have had the
temerity to attempt to pollute Parliament
witn tneir meinoos.
John C. Eno, who Is now at the Windsor
Hotel, is the organizer of the scheme, though
he calmly says the bill does not apply to -him.
He intended to go to Ottawa this morning,.
atternoiumgacomerenceiast mgnt witn tne
boodlers here, but changed bis mind when he
read tbe exposure in the Gazette. Instead bo
sent several deipatches to the capital and re
mained in tbe hotel all day.
Keenan, Dempsey et al are In a wratby
mood, and any attempt to interview them
would be attended with disastrous consequen
ces. The boodlers are holding a council of war
to-night in "Boodlers' Corner." It is not known
who is receiving the contributions nor
whether any bavo been used or if they
will all be - returned. Judges, lawyers,
politicians and merchants roundly de
nounced the fund to-day. and Montreal's
Crown Prosecutor has begun an investigation
in the hope of obtaining evidence upon which
to send the wouldbe bribers to the penitentiary
upon the charge of conspiracy. The evening
papers severely excoriate tho boodlers ana the
scheme.
There is no doubt that tbe bill will pass. It
will be read the second time on Monday. Tbe
boodlers have dug their own graves.
THE CABINET II0USE HUKTING.
Only Wanamaker nnd Blaine Have as Yet
Secured Washlncton Uesidences.
Special Telegram to The DUmatcb.
Washington, March 8. Final steps were
taken to-day in the purchase of the residence
of ex-Secretary Whitney by the agents of Post
master Qeneral Wanamaker. It is situated on
I street just off Farragut square, and has al
ways been considered one of the most desirable
homes In the city for the residence of a high
official. It was the residence of the late Secre
tary Frelinghuysen, from whose heirs it was
purchased by Mr. Whitney and extensively re
modeled, one of the changes being the con
struction of the great ball room which has
gained a national reputation through the bril
liant assemblies which gathered there during
the occupancy of tbe house by tbe Whitnevs,
antt which it is expected will continue to make
the place famous with Mr. Wanamaker as host
Mr. Whitney paid about 86O.000 f or the prop
erty and it is understood that Mr. Wanamaker
gave JS0.000 for it though in this case a portion
of the furnishing of tbe house went with it
Mr. Wanamaker will move into his new home
in a few days.
All the members of the new Cabinet are yet
stopping at hotels. Tho old Seward house will
not be ready for the occupany of Mr. Blaine
for several months. Mr. Windom had sold his
elegant mansion on Scott Circle, and he, with
Tracy, Noble, Proctor, Miller and Rusk are
still house-hunting. Vice President Morton
will soon move into his splendid house on
Scott Circle, which is now in the bands of the
managers of an art exhibition for -the benefit
of the Garfield Memorial Hospital.
A LEYIATIIAN'S TEETH.
Fragments of a Marino Monster ofnn Ex
tinct Species.
OMAHA, March 8. A man named Shumway
while digging a well near Livingston, Banner
county, has found a portion of the jaw of some
extinct monster containing two teetb, one of
which is ten inches long and four inches wide
and weighs seven and a half pounds. Tbe ani
mal is supposed to have been a species of fish,
as fragments were found of fins about as large
as a man's hand.
The skull is long and flat and has a horn be
t ". :en the eyes nearly two f oet long and resem
bling tbat of a rhinoceros.
A Rival to tho German.
From the Philadelphia Times J
Society in Jefferson City, Mo., has con
structed a rival to the german. They call it
the "Virginia." Each guest is provided with
an ear of corn and a pan. They shell tho corn
and place it in jars, and then oach one is given
a guess. The prizes are a thermometer on a
corncob and a corncob pipe. Among tbe re
freshments is cider drawn from a keg marked
"1776" and served in a gourd 100 years old.
-- Coins ISO Ycnrs Old.
New YOBK.March 8. James Clark, of Piscat
away, N. J., lives in a house 165 years old. Yes
terday, while making repairs, be found a small
tin box containing some copper coins 150 years
old. One was a penny dated 1789, another a
half-penny dated 1736. Mr. Clark thinks bo
will find some hidden treasure before he gets
through overhauling tho house.
They Can Rest Their Weary Heads.
From tho Philadelphia Times.
Now tbat Brother Blaine has resumed busi
ness at the old stand the military editors will
be able to sleep at nights without fear that Bis
marck will steal away tho country before morn
ing. CAUGnT ON TI1E GRIP LINE.
My friend has got a red, red nose.
And he has it all the year:
And It, as everybody knows.
Has cost him very dear.
Customer How much are your strawber
ries? Dealer Five dollars a quart
Customer Are they fresh and sweet?
Dealer Indeed, 1 couldn't say. I can't afford
to sample them, but they smell good.
: FtiACE NO DIK1"
: on
: Honuisii HEHE. :
; . l'EXALTYl 3. ;
And. by gosh, If those fresh Chicago police
didn't arresta crowd of- Anarchists who were
holding a meeting on the premises.
Wife Here is a letter in this paper which
starts off by saying, '-Grovcr Cleveland was be
yond a doubt the greatest man who ever occupied
tho Prcsldental chair, aud "
Husband Now, before yon read any more. Just
look and sea whose opinion that Is.
Wire It don't say.
Husband Ain't the letter signed?
Wlfe-Oh, yes. Yours truly, Grover Cleveland.
Etiquette for Barbers When a customer
enters while yon are smoking a toby, wash your
hands before shaving him.
Soon the springtime will be her.
Then the birds will sing their praise.
Hot tlie'worstphase'of Hall," -
. Women get the bonnet craze.
- . -;;:a .,.,.-. --o.o.
A DAY' IN A BIG CITY.
Bcecher Dead for Two Years.
(NEW YORK BUREAU SPECIALS.!
New Yoiik, March 8. To-day is tho second
anniversary at the death of Henry Ward
Beecher. Last year Plymouth Chm-ch held
elaborate memorial exercises on thts'annivep
sary. but this year there, was no formal com
memoration of Mr, Beech er's death.
A New Bat Important Business.
The steamship Montauk to-day snipped 320
harvesters, 650 hay rakes, 1,200 patent reapers
and 300 mowers, being a complete cargo of
American machinery d.eatlned for Russia. The
shipment of American' agricultural machinery
to Russia began within the last 6 months, and
has already become an important business.
Only a Corner Anticipated.
There was a rumor on tho Metal Exchange
to-day that the American Pig Iron Trust had
completed preparations for controlling the
market Dealers outside the trust are antici
pating a corner.
Bell Boy Not to Trot Just Yet,
George H, Hopper, who has a half interest in
Bell Boy, tbe trotter recently purchased for
51,000, says he doesn't intend to trot the famous
stallion for three or tour years. The horse will
remain with Macy fc Co., of Kentucky, for the
present season. Mr. Hopper is here attending
the sale of California horsea.
The Very First Sixteen Ladles.
Society circles have been intensely agitated
for the last' six weeks over the selection of 16
ladies to dance In the opening quadrille at the
great Centennial ball. Tbe selection, as every
body knows, was to carry with it the greatest
weight as establishing social precedence in
this city. Such bickerings and jealousies and
wire-pullings as the matter has occasioned
hare never before been known. The selection
was largely in the hands'of Ward McAllister,
the "400" dictator, who is chairman of the sub
committee in charge of the matter. Tho names
of the chosen ladies were made public to-day.
They are Mrs. Charles Francis Adams, Mrs.
William Astor, Mrs. William Waldorf Astor,
Mrs. Grover Cleveland, Mrs. Frederio J. De
Peyster, Mrs.Elbrldge T. Gerrjt Mrs. Alex
ander Hamilton, Mrs. Benjamin Harrison, Mrs.
Rutherford B. Hayes, Mrs. John Jay, Mrs.
Archibald Grade King, Miss Caroline Living
ston, Mrs. Levi P. Morton, Miss Schuyler, Mrs.
Henry Van Rensselaer and Mrs, Sidney
Webster.
Mrs. Friend and Friends Remanded.
Mrs. Friend and her four associates in tbe
Electric sugar fraud were arraigned to-day and
remanded till Monday, when the question of
bail will be considered.-
Anstln Corbln Is All Right.
Austin Corbln was down town to-day, attend
ing to business as usual. The report that he
was seriously ill is untrue; behad a slight cold
a few days ago, but is now all right
WELL FIXED FOR A PAUPJ3E.
The Inmate of a County Poorhonse Found to
bo Worth 97,000.
CRAWPOKDSViiLE, Ind.. March 8. Yester
day afternoon George Myers, Superintendent
of tbe County Asylum, made the startling dis
covery that Martin Cook, who had been an in
mate of tbat institution for about six months,
had a lot of money secreted in his room. The
Board of County Commissioners was Informed
and this morning made an Investigation. They
found sewed up in an old leather belt almost
7,000 in gold, silver and greenbacks.
'Cook has been an itinerant tailor, and is
abont 70 years old. He is hy birth a Russian,
and has no relatives or friends in this country.
The Commissioners fired him from the poor
honse, first charging him $2 a week for board
for the time he has been stopping there. He
did considerable tailoring for the other inmates,
and for this was allowed 1 a week for the same
length of time.
SHOEING SNIPES.
A Man Claims That Stamps Have a Better
Flavor Than Now Clears.
From the Mew York Snn.l
A portly man of middle age complained
loudly when he was cautioned by the cigar
dealer to light his cigar well or he would
spoil it
"That's all nonsense," he said. "If you let
your cigar go out and then lay it aside for a
short time you will find that the flavor is vastly
improved when you relight it If yon don't be
hevo it just try it, and you will never make the
mistake again of selling a man a poor cigar and
then advising him to light it well." The writer
tried this scheme, and discovered that the
portly man was right He noticed that what is
vulgarly called a "snipe" always smokes bet
ter ana hasa purer taste of tobacco than a new
cigar.
JUSTICE MATTHEWS BETTEE.
His Physician Says He Is Improving and
Likely to Recover Soon.
Washington, March 8. Tha condition of
Justice Stanley Matthews is considerably im
proved this evening. At 9 o'clock Dr. Johnson,
his attending physician, said that his patient's
symptoms were hourly improving. The fever
had almost entirely subsided, his pulse was
abont normal and his general condition was
such as to warrant the belief tbat in course of
the next few days he will have regained all he
has lost
Bootblacks Form a Syndicate.
New York; March 8. A syndicate of three
Italians has paid 2,000 for the bootbladking
privilege of the Pennsylvania railroad ferry
boats. The same men enjoy the privilege on
the Statea Island and New Jersey Central
boats, for which they pay 110 per month.
They have discharged all the old oootblacks.
'who used to have the run of tbe boats, and
hired new ones at H 0 and S3 a week.
Full Dress Reform Movement Opposed.
From the Norrlstown Herald.
It Is reported that the move made by New
York Society young men to wear knee breeches
on full dress occasion is being strenuously op
posed by Mr. Bergh's Society for tho Preven
tion of Cruelty to Animals, on the ground that
the fashion would, painfully expose too many
weak calves.
And Now for tboDoctors.
From the Chicago News.
The hotel keepers of Washington hare
reaped a rich harvest; now, thanks to the
ceaseless dowuDour of rain on Monday, the
doctors will have their turn.
Kismet.
From the New York Snu.2
It's strange to watch each school-day friend.
As in the world he rises,
For the dunco oft makes a higher mark
Than the boy that won the prizes.
TO HIS CONSTITUENTS.
Well, neighbors, I klndy got there, In spite o' the
Eastern crowd,
An' they'll hear to your Uncle Jerry ef he don't
talk so very loud;
An' every rnstlln1 corn stalk an' every cabbage
blue
Will be glad o' the new Department an' proud o'
the Badger tew.
In agrlcultoor, neighbors, hit's alwuz the safest
plan
To go by your past experience, an' do the best ye
can;
But stein' 's this here Department is all so new
an' strangu
Ye must give the old man a decent show till he
klndy gits his range.
Ez near as I can calcylate, the thing this country
needs
More'n anythin' else is good full craps, w'lch
argynes lots o' seeds.
So I'll hire a secretary man and make him write
around
Among ye all to find what ye want, an' the natnr'
o'your ground.
They's lots o' money to spend fer ships, an' rivers
ahd harbors, tu
I'll undertake to git the farmers some before I'm
thru:
So send me a list o' the seeds ye want an' the
newest faratn'' tools,
An' we'll see cf the folks in the great Northwest
arc on'y a passcl o' fools.
Some feller says thct he is a publlo comforter who
makes
Two blades o' grass grow 'stead o' one, bnt thet
aln'frno great shakes
Ef 1 don't coax out five fer one an make it grow.
ranker 'n higher
Th'n ever yon see It grow afore, my name ain't
Jeremiah. ,.
. -, - Jaffna fori Evtnlng Sun,
ODE MAIL iWCfl.
Ths Racs Problem.
To the Editor of Ths Dispatch;
Permit me to take exceptions to some of tbe
statements made in an article with the above
caption in a recent number of The Dispatch.
It strikes me that the writer la either prejudiced
or misinformed.
It is true tbat dense ignorance has ruled, and
still rules, in some portions ot the South.
There are even now colored people in tbe in
terior of some of the far Southern States who
do not know that they are free. But what is
the cause of this ignorance who made tbem
V what tbey are? The white race has kept them
j in darkness. Tbey brought from the shores of
Africa simple human beings, and in a lana
where all was strange, kept tbem cowed and
trembling under the lasb. They gave tbem no
chance to advance, but preferred keeping tbem
ignorant Why, then, talk of lack of progress.
1 think the colored people, as a whole, have
advanced rapidly in intelligence since emanci
pation was declared. What race can be named
that ever made better progress in the same
length of time? When the war ended and the
negroes learned tbat they were free as many
as could left the South and scattered all over
tbe United States. Most of tbem were without
money; they had no decent clothine and no
knowledge of tbe world. Those who were
obliged to remain in the vicinity of their former
homes were in many cases treated most in
humanely by the whites. Those who icamo
North prospered, gained wealth and knowl
edge, and some of them returned to erect
SChOOlS for their lefts f nrtnnfitA brethren
The societies which sent missionaries and
teachers to tbe South to Instruct tbe colored
men, were composed of white people. Those
whom they employed for this work were white.
Had they taken tho money paid to such teach
ers and with it educated colored men and
women and sent them South to teach, there
suit, I think, would have been vastly better for
the negroes. Aad if the laws could be so ad
ministered in the South that colored and white
SJ?n,0Jlld .h,aTe e1nal Protection, the gain
SJ4. be stiU ETea,er- The Freedmen's Aid
bocleties were a godsend to the people born in
navery and kept in ignorance and superstition.
5K? wonur that the colored race had some
ambition to rise when it grew in knowledge.
Tho surprising thing is that the
negroes progressed as fast as they
nave done when given but half
a chance. Tne war left the South impover
ished, and its effects were felt by both races.
ii? niteA mh, reduced resources, were
obliged to hire their work done they had not
been taught to labor themselves. Some sold
off their land for a song, and enterprising
colored men bought them. There are shiftless
negroes every race contains such people but
the hard workers are more numerous. With
fair dealing, some schooling and opportunity
to "hoe his own row" the colored man can
generally take care of himself and his family
and leave those who havo befriended him no
chance to blush at his lack of improvement
There are colored men, both in tho South
and in the North, quite as capable of filling
Government offices as any white men tbat
could be selected for tbe positions. I certainly
hope that the present administration will see
flt to bestow some of the gifts at its disposal
upon negroes. It would encourage the colored
people and give them increased self-respect
But whether whites or negroes, there is every
reason that all responsible positions should bo
filled with honest capable, God-fearing men,
and nowhere is the need of such men in office
greater than in the South. Let the same jus
tice be meted out to tha white and the colored
man, and let each have equal opportunities
for enjoying life, liberty and the pursuit of
happiness. This will most speedily effect a
settlement of "the race question."
ALLEGHENY, March 8. S. W. B. L,
Riots in Philadelphia, .
To the Editor of The Dispatch:
Please let mo know if you have anything on
file regarding the riot in Philadelphia what
year it took place, what was burned and what
was the origin of it and greatlv oblige a sub
scriber for 43 years. YoubsRespectfuiat.
Pittsbuko, March 8.
TThero bjive hepn sevml t-fnta i niti-ni
phla. In 1835 riots were incited against the
colored population, and in 1838 Pennsylvania
Hall, owned by tho anti-slavery societies and
OCCUnled bv them nq rrtftotfnf nl,.a -win
burned by a mob. In 18H tho districts of
A-ensmirton ana aoutnwarK were the scenes of
riots, arising from hostility between the Roman
CathOliCS and thn "nAtlVA Amnrlfan," IT..
trouble lasted considerable time; two Catholic
churches were burned, the military were called
out and some lives lost
Not This Season.
To thft Editor of The Dispatch:
Kindly let me know if Mary Anderson is to
appear In Pittsburg this season. J. F. K.
Alieghest, March 8.
F0UE DATS IN A TEANCE.
A Colored Girl at Urbsna In a Strange Men
Ml Condition.
Ubbaita, O., March 8. A young colored girl
named Laura Highwarden has caused consider
able excitement among tbe colored population
of this city by going into a trance and remain
ing in that condition for f our days. It appears
she has been attending revival services at St
Paul's M. EL Church, and, becoming convinced
of her sins, went forward several nights to the
altar for prayer. On Friday night after an
hour spent in pleading for forgiveness, she be
came quite animated and astonished the con
gregation by going into a trance and remaining
in that condition until last night
All the time she has been perfectly un
conscious, and all efforts to restore her proved
fruitless, lying in a stupor and at intervals
lapsing into a state that indicated lifelessness.
She claims to have seen tbe Savior and her
dead father, and also tho devil, 'and has set
to-day as the time of her death. A large
number of persons visit her, and, although sick
in bed, she never tires of telling what she saw
While in her strange condition.
CATHOLIC KNIGHTS ADJ0DEN.
Last Day of the State Council at Harris
bnrg Officers Elected.
Special Telegram to The Dispatch.
HABKiSBUna, March 8. There was an inter
esting meeting of the State Council of the
Catholic Knights of America in this city to
day. The membership of this insurance order
is about 650 in this State and 19,000 in the
United States. It has been in existence abont
11 years, during wbich time it bas paid out in
benefits over 1500,000. Tbe Pennfylrania
Council has paid to the heirs of deceased mem
bers tbe past two years 32,000. Tbe officers
elected to-day are; James F. Sbennv, of Phila
delphia, President; W. F. Condrian, Oil Cltv,
Vice President; John J. O'Kourke. Philade'l-
hla. Secretary; Mr. Druding, of the firm of
irnding Brothers, Treasurer, and Father
Barry, Spiritual Director.
Rev. Barry and J. J. O'Kourke, of Philadel.
phla, were elected delegates to the Supreme
Council, which will meet at Chattanooga on
May 12, of this year. The next meeting of tbe
State Council will bo beld at Latrobe on the
third Tuesday of September, 1800.
Ho WasnGrcnl.Grent-Grnndrnther.
TitusVilix. March 8. John Baney, Sr.,
who was buried to-day at Cherry Tree, leaves a
remarkable number of descendants. He was
93 years old, and bad 12 sons, 160 grandchildren,
33 great-grandchildren and eight great-greatgrandchildren.
No Tom and Jerry for Him.
From the Chicago Herald.
It was manifestly impossible for Mr. Harri
son to appoint both Piatt and Rusk to his Cab
inet Anions administration could not afford
to have Tom and Jerry at its council board.
That Unlucky Number Again.
From the Chicago News.J
Pigott committed suicide on a Friday in a
hotel bedchamber numbered 13. Every supersti
tious Tory in England will see bad luck in this
gruesome circumstance.
SOME CHOICE ADS.
Men wanted to work in brewery. Those
able to subsist on 10 glasses of beer a day pre
ferred. A oentlejian just returned from the in
auguration wonld like to hire for a few days
only a No. 12 hat
A vert fat sleek man wanted to stand at
door of restaurant and give out bills. A salary
of $1 a week will be paid to right party.
Wanted, as clerk in fashionablb drygoods
establishment a young gentleman with a beau
tiful blond mustache and blue eyes which have
silky, drooping eyelashes.
Mb. Benjamin Habrisojt, White House,
Washington, would respectfully remind the
03,000,000 people of tbe United States that,
having at the upmost not more than 100,000,000
offices at his disposal, it will be impossible for
him to provide positions for 65,000,000.
A Eubopeam nobleman of very ancient
lineage, at present residing in ono ot ths most
fashionable hotels of this city, being possessed
of -a soal which makes his position theroof
waiter abhorrent to him, would ilka to improve
his condition in life by marrying tfome rich
American heiress. - .3
v.?
Ethan Allen, the onte famous trotting
horse, still lives at tbe age of 32 at Byfield Par
ish, Mass.
Captain R. Ureck Is the tallest man in
Colorado. His height Is 7 feet and 7 inches.
According to a Denver paper an eight
foot vein of kaolin has been found at Golden,
Col.
A thousand colored people passed
through Birmingham,-Ala., the other night, en
route to new homes in Kansas, Arkansas and
Texas.
In Raleigh, N. C, lately the cold was
so intense and travel, in consequence, so light
that tho street cars were "tied up" shortly
after dark.
An offer of $500 was recently made for
a madstone owned In Charlotte. N. C. Tha
stone has a record of having cured more than
100 cases of mad dog and snake bites.
The prize offered by the French Acad
emy of Sciences for a paper on the transmis
sion of power by electricity has been with
drawn, no oaoer of sufficient merithavine been
1 received.
During the past week hunting dogs"
valued at 3,300 have been poisoned in Hunt
ingdon, L. I. More than 30 setters and pointers .
have met their death at the bands of unknown-.,
miscreants.
A domestic in Bangor, Me., who was
given a physician's prescription to have filled,
misunderstood her instructions and mailed tha
paper, and in due time it reached tha doctor
who wrote it
An enterprising resident of. Langres,
France, who had been arrested for shooting at
his sweetheart made love to the jailer's
daughter. She assisted him to escape, and tha
pair then eloped.
A Baltimore barber makes the assertion
that a man's beard grows faster In bright
weather than in elouuv. He thinks that ths
sunlight bas the same 'effect on the hair of a
man's head and face as it has on plants.
The "largest" locomotive ever built in
Massachusetts will be shipped this week from
Taunton, Mass to the Mexican Central Road.
The engine has a. 56-inch steel boiler, 54-inch
driving wheels and 20x21 cylinders.
Upper Stratford, Conn., has a hermit
He is a young man, and, according to accounts,
began the life of a recluse because of a disap
pointment in love. He lives in a cave dug be
neath a large rock, and bis only companion is a
mink, which he has trained to obey his com
mands. A singular case of illness, and one
wbich puzzles doctors, is that of John McKin
non, Sr., of Castine, Me. He has no control
over his right arm and leg. which more about
spasmodically, and at times violently. At first
he seemed to have but little pain, but now ha
shows signs of suffering, and is losing strength.
An inventor named De Force, of Sioux
City, has perfected an apparatus which he
claims has solved the problem ot perpetual mo
tion. The plan of the machine is at present
kept secret It has already turned a heavy
grindstone 16 days without letting go its grip.
A patent has been applied for.
The thrifty Washington tradesman
knows how to make hay while the sun shines
and money while the rain falls. A grocer last
Monday charged a Philadelpblan 23 cents for
four crackers and two red herrings, which i
about on par with the old cost of 10 cents for a
"California hot lunch," one cracker and pepper
sauce.
The Siamese King has put his court
etiquette aside and bas started his sons to
England to complete their education at a pub
lic school there. They are Princes Kilyakara,
Rabipatanasak, Provitvatimoon and Cbirapro
vat, and their ages range from 13 to 10. Their
schoolmates will soon find shorter names for
them, and names that will probably pleats
them better than their own.
Two young men who keep bachelors'
hall In Heard county, Ga, went home late the
other night As they were about to enter the
house they heard a low, gurgling sound, which
so frightened tbem that they ran half a mile to
a neighbor's bouse. A party from there armed
themselves with axes, scythes, pitchforks and
other deadly weapons and returned to find that
the noise had been made by a dog tbat was
choking to death on a bone.
A member of the Legislature of Ar
kansas recently had occasion to nominate a
young lady for the office of enrolling clerk. He
is reported as having met tha responsibility of
bis position in this snperb manner: "I shall
not say that the one I name is as beautiful as
the angels are. fpr. I have never seen an angel
and know nofhow beautiful they are, hut I
will say that it angels look like the lovely
maiden whose name I put in nomination the
angels are beautiful Indeed.
At a recent meeting of the Royal So
ciety of Edlnburg, John Aitkin submitted a
paper on improvements in apparatuses for
counting dnst particles in the atmosphere, and
explained that he bad made a nnmber of ex
periments in tbe open air at CoImonelL. Ayr
shire. He there found that the number of
dust particles in the air ranged from 500 to
9,000 per cubio centimeter. He tested the air
ot the meeting room and found it to contain
100,000 dust particles per cubic centimeter,
while the air near tbe ceiling was found to
contain 3,500,000 particles per cubic centimeter.
An operatic manager who was about to
give a grand opera in Rio Janeiro engaged
three different men as first tenor in Paris. Dur
ing tho voyace this fact came out and the
three men indignantly demanded an explana
tion from the manager. "Gentlemen," be
said In suave tones, "It will be all right. I am
an old manager in the Rio Janeiro business,
and either one of yon would be perfectly sat
isfactory to me; but we shall not be there a
week before two are certain to fall victims to
the yellow fever, and the one that is left will
be my first tenor for the coming season. I have
tried it many years, and never knew it to fail,
so there is no use quarreling about it at this
early day."
An exciting marriage took place the
early part of the week, at a museum in Mem
phis, Tenn. The bride was an Albino "curio"
and the groom an attache of the establish
ment As the ceremony was being performed
by the justice of the peace the Albino's brother
caught the bridegroom by tbe collar and tho
groom grasped him by the hair. Tbey waltzed
around the ball in a hostile embrace, the bride
clinging to her chosen and the justice following
in a trot, repeating the formula required by
law. By the time the circuit of the room was
completed the justice announced that tho
twain were man and wife, and then began to
separate tbe irato husband and brother. Tha
newly-married conple left the hall under tha
protection of the law.
TIMELY' TOPICS.
CURIODS CONDEKSATIONS. .
Knew the Order. Scientist (in restaurant)
Bring me a decoction of burnt peas, sweetened
with glucose and lightened with chalk and water.
Walter (vociferously) Cotry fer onel
A Seasonable Explanation. Michael
O'Howke Faith, an' that's a very small baby yer
wheelin around. Bridget.
Tbe Nnrse What can yer expect, Hike, whin
they feed the little erector on condensed milk.
ANecessaryVirtue. Harry Marridwell "
Let's go to the opera, Ethel. These long evenings
are awfully dull.
Ethel-Oh, Harry 1 Before we were married, yon
never wanted to go anywhere.
Harry Could n't afford it
Quite Impossible. He So you think tho
missing link will never be found?
She It Is Impossible.
He Why Impossible?
She Because when found, it will not be ths
missing link.
An Innocent Amusement Deacon Dry
bones (at a meeting to protest against Inaugura
tion balls) -Dancing, my brethren and slstern. Is
simply hugging to music.
Unsophisticated Sister Is that all It Is? I got an ,
idea somehow that dancing was something wicked
A Connection by Courtship. Fred Good
morning, brother Jack. r'
Jack (gloomily) Howdy? Explain Joke.
Fred You called on Agle last night? ,-
Jack (In a "take-care" tone of voice-W'eUrJfe.
Fred-Oh, nothing. She promised to be a slsteVjv
to me, too. Jt3?
Betweenthe Amateur Acts. Mansfield.
Tour performance of Fanllne was most enchant?
ing. 1 qutto lost myself several times. ' ,
Miss Uolyoke Yes, I noticed you did. By tha
way, I told paps, before the guests came, that If
he'd have the buffet put in tbe drawing room he'd ,
save a great deal of unnecessary going out. .
A Permanent Position. Fond Mother
Out of a position again, my son? This will never '
do. You have had a dozen splendid chances with- 1
In three months, and did not stick to any of them
a week. You must do something for a living. -Have
you no stamina at all?
Bon-Don' t worry abont me. mother. I'm going
to marry aa actress.
A Trained Bird. Customer See liere we
don't want this parrot we got or yon yesterday
It doesn't say an j thing but "Darling. darUni"
will you be mine!" " '
Bird dealer-Ah, I see, now! That U theaa
Doxroncu uj will yuH soriorniy; TMt's'wlia
she taught It. You see, ho had a steonglmsginaA.
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