T tl -r t SPft Vn ":'. I - '?"' - . w. jVSA 'sf.ai- ?ri- THE PITTSBURG- DISPATOH,' SATURDAY, MAHOH 9, 1889, j Bipplaj. . ESTABLISHED FEBRUARY 8. 1S46. r Vol. 44, So. 29. Entered at l'ittsburg Fostofflcc, Ttoicmbcrii, 1867, as eccona-ciass maner. Business Office97 and G9 Fifth Avenue. News Booms and Publishing Eouse75, 77 and 79 Diamond Street. Average circulation of the daily edition of The Dispatch for six months ending March 1, 1SS9, 27,988 Copies per issue 'Average rircnlation of the Sunday edition of The Dispatch for February, 1SS9, 45,144 Copies per issue. TERMS OF THE DISPATCH. postage thee in Tim ranni states. Daily Dispatch. One Year. J 8 00 Dailt DisrATCU, Per Quarter 2 00 Daily DisrATCU, One Month 70 Daily Dispatch, including Sunday, one year 10 00 Daily DisrATCU, including Sunday, per quarter. . - ......., 250 'Daily DisrATCH. including Sunday, one month 90 Sunday Dispatch, oncyear 2 50 "Weekly DisrATCU, one jear 1 25 Tub Daily Dispatch Is delivered by carriers at 15 cents per week, or including the Sunday edition. at 20 cents per cefc P1TTSBORG, SATURDAY, MAR. 9, ISSH. A PEESISTZKT BTTMOB. The rumor of actual hostilities between the German and United States vessels at Samoa,with the result of sinking; our vessel, seems to be a survival or echo of the previous indefinite report which came to the surface at Kiel. The source of these stories is such as to give, them little credibility, and ex cept for the obstinate repetition and ampin cation of the report, there is no reason for giving it much attention. Indeed, upon examination, ihe form in which the rumors come out discredit them. If there has been any fighting at Samoa it may be taken as certain that the vessel which took the news away from the island, would not leave before the fight was finished. If that report has reached Germany, how comes it that the people who knew that there had been fighting last week, did not know its result until this week? It looks m,uch more as if some German purveyor of sensations is making up the story piece meal, and getting all that he can out of it until authentic news arrives. Of course if such an event has taken place it means war. A war at present would be very disadvantageous to this country; but it would not be half so damaging to our position among the nations as to tamely submit to such an act of overt hostility. EDITORIAL AMBITIONS. The expectant attitude of some of the leading editors of Republican organs is the subject of wide comment. It is asserted that Whitelaw Iteid expects to go as Minis ter to London, irrespective of the intima tions that have already been heard from abroad that the postprandial abilities of Chauncey M. Depew would make him per sona grata to the nobility and aristocracy. Colonel Elliot F. Shepard thinks the sunny clime of Italy would suit him, while Joseph Medill is willing to officially in spect the pleasures of Paris, and John C. New those oi Vienna. To hold the Iron Chancellor in check, who is better fitted than field Marshal Murat Halstead? An envious cotemporary asks, in view of these possibilities, "Who will run the IJe "jiublican organs of this great nation?" But that question is a recommendation rather than an objection. "With these eminent journalists safely out of the country the organs may be run as newspapers. TBANSPABENT EVASIONS. 'One of the stock events accompanying in auguration, as duly reported in connection with the last ceremony, was the act of turn ing back the hands of the Senate clock, per formed by a doorkeeper of that body, in or der to permit the transaction of some de layed business introductory to the inaugu ration. This, in connection with some other legislative idiosyncrasies, is a display of the belie! of our statesmen that constitutional "requirements are met by violating them and preventing any record of the violation. Under the Constitution, the term of Con gress ends at noon on the 4th of March. It Is not a very vital matter to transgress the constitutional limit ten or fifteen minutes; i but it is getting to be a vital matter that legislators set the example of violating the rule by an evasion which is open and purely formal. Everyone knew when the Senate clock had been setback that its five minutes to twelve meant five minutes past twelve; but because the record of time had been falsified in the presence of the Senate and the public it was deemed regular. A more grave development oi the same theory is the habit of transacting legislative business so as to avoid record of the fact that no quorum is present. The constitu tional requirement of a quorum for the transaction of legislative business was not an idle and speculative one. It was put there for the vital purpose of securing full and intelligent action. Yet it has got to be the common custom for legislative bodies ,to go on taking action by viva voce votes, when no quorum is present, and calling it legitimate, because the absence of a quorum is not put on the official record. This is . practically the tactics of the ostrich, which imagines itself hid when it gets its head under the sand. Men who have sworn to uphold the Con stitution, and who make the laws, should set the example of obeying both, instead of the example of evading both by the most transparent devices. BEC0OKIZE THE IMPBOVEMEKT. The fact that few, even of the opposition press, have found occasion to speak ill of President Harrison's inaugural is credited by the Democratic Philadelphia Times partly to the inoffensiveness of the docu ment, but more to "the patriotism, honor . and courtesy of the Democratic and inde pendent press." Prom which the Times goes on to express the expectation that in this administration "there will be no repe tition of that indecent lying and carping and base misrepresentation that so widely characterized the opposition to Mr. Cleve land." Our cotemporary should turn its memory back to the, administrations of ' Grant and Lincoln, and instead of the above scolding, recognize the gain in the .intellitrence of our politics which is shown ' by the fact that the opposition nowadays, whether Republican or Democratic, has lit tle of the scunllity and intemperance that attacked these great men. It will not do to -claim that the progress has been made en tirely by one party. . T FREE SEATS AIUJ CRITICISM. vWhen Mary Anderson played in St. Louis recently tbe critic of the Ulobe WDcmocrai of that city distinguished , hiia- self by attacking the actress, with extraordi- nary vigor and a vocabulary of abuse that astonished everybody. Here is a small piece of this chaste criticism: As for JPerdita, the delineation ot the sweet girlish rusticity and roseate warmth of love, which crown tha character of this delicious creation ot Shakespeare, is as far beyond Mary Anderson as the constellation of Hercules is beyond tbe dead and dinky moon. You might as well talk of the versatility of amarlinspike or the protean quality of a chunk of red granite. It is as sensible to assert, that Mary Anderson is twins or triplets as to assert that she is versatile. Miss Anderson s agent states that the at tack was evoked by his refusal to furnish the editor of the Globe-Democrat with more than the usual number of free tickets. It is not pleasant nor is it easy to believe that this explanation is correct. Doubtless the Globe Democrat will have some other reasons to show for its critic's comminatory language. JJut supposing that dramatic criticism in newspapers were to be conducted generally on a free ticket basis, what a glorious thing it would be for the imbeciles and incapa bles that are now all too numerous behind the footlights! At present these dramatic humbugs are constant ly Tjeing shown up to the public in their true colors. Some oi them are killed each year by outspoken criticism, and thejath of the pretender on the stage is daily growing more precarious. But if the critics of the newspapers could be muzzled or mollified by. gifts of free seats the situation would be vastly different. A regular tariff of exchange might be set up between the actors and the critics. So many seats for so many sentences of praise. The enterprising advance agent would no longer boast of his star's diamonds, her pri vate car, her Worth dresses, or her litho graphs, when he invaded the editorial rooms but simply whisper into the editorial ear: "Three rows of seats in the parquet, dear boy ! " and think no more about the coming criticism. But the days of free seats in exchange for free puffery are past, fortunately for good actors, good plays and decent journalism. THE RIVAL C0TBTS. The last act of the comedy drama arising out of the pugilistic exhibition between the contending forces on Sunday law enforce ment took place at the Police Court yester day. From the preliminary stage, inwhich the ardor of the disputants over the enforce ment of the Sabbath led them to punching each other's heads on a week day, down to the point where one oi the prosecuting wit nesses pointed out the wrong man as the Law and Order agent who committed the assault, there have been plenty of funny aspects, as well as serious ones, in this case. But there has hardly been anything more purely comic than the spectacle of the Police Justice reviewing the judicial de liverances of Common Pleas No. 2, and emphatically reversing them, so far as his own jurisdiction can go. If the opinion, ruling or statement of the police justice is intended to overset legal rulings of the Common Pleas bench on the methods of arrest used in this case, we can leave that question to be fought out be tween the judicial authorities, with a pro found trust that the Supreme Court will not be called upon to intervene. If it is in tended, as appears from 'its tone, to deny any attempt at unfairness on the part of the police justice, it remains to be remarked that the prolonged statements as to what he did in the case fail to explain away one im portant fact. That is, that the prisoners were put into a patrol wagon for the pur pose of carrying them two squares, taken to the police station, and there refused the privilege of depositing bail, which is ac corded the ward hustlers whose bibulous tendencies bring them into durance vile, or the gilded youth who may be so unlucky as to be caught in a raided faro bank. As Judge "White's remarks applied to these methods, the lower conrt's reversal of the upper court's remarks have the humorous quality of leaving matters about where it found them. As to the case itself, the evidence, though contradictory, was sufficient to make out a pretty good case of disorderly conduct against both parties, and to justify a heavier fine on both than was imposed on one. STEWAErS PET SCHEME. The reappearance in the extra session of the Senate, of Senator "Stewart's stock reso lution requiring the Secretary of the Treas uary to purchase 51,000,000 worth of silver bullion each, month, was to be expected. Senator Stewart's sole theory of public busi ness is to serve his proprietors by doing the business of the Central Pacific railroad, and to urge this resolution, both in season and out of season, for the benefit of the bonanza kings. A legislative policy of this sort suggests that the Senator is starting at the wrong place. If a government market is to be forced for any especial interest it is right to take the most important industries first The iron industry is somewhat depressed at present If the Government would purchase 4,000,000 worth of bar iron and' steel rails, each month, it would lend activity to that interest and employ a good many more hands than the purchase of the same value of silver. The window glass trade is also running on very close margins. The Government might confer a great public benefit by placing orders for 54,000,000 worth of win dow glass monthly. In a few years the Government stock would permit all the crops of the country to be raised underglass, which would make the purchase of far greater practical utility than piling, by tens of millions, useless silver dollars in the Treasury. After iron and glass, Lima oil, flour, cotton and sugar are the next staples to be provided for. Butter and lard would be on the list if they were not so high priced as to have disappeared from the list of commercial staples. When these inter ests are provided for it may be time to pass Senator Stewart's resolution for the benefit of the silver mine owners.. HENRI HIMSELF AGAIN. It is a. mistake to suppose that the in-augurati6n.-of Republican rule is gall and wormwood to all good Democrats. Some there are, no doubt, who .take it to heart, and bewail the triumph of hateful princi ples and the loss of the offices, but to Demo crats of the Eon. Henri Watterson's stamp, defeat brings a compensation in tbe shape of freedom to stand up on the opposition bench and jeer and criticise and condemn the Government as he pleases. The buoyant best friend of the Star-Eye'd Goddess df Reform by the way, the Star Eyed lady, has had a long rest has already flashed her sword in the spring sunlight which makes Kentucky glorious. Chevalier. Wattcrson has no longer to mind his p's and q's as he ejects the burning thoughts ihat throng and throb within his brain. The .stout gentleman who, from" the remote throne ot the White House, impended like & ten-ton weight attached to a slender cord above the bead of the Courier-Journal's editor, is retired to innocuous desuetude. !No longer does the stress of concealing free trade views under a domino of tariff reform restrain the soul ot the gallant Henri. He can' say what he thinks and irhat he pleases without imperiling the Democracy's loaves and fishes. There is fun and enough for Watterson now; let the game go onl Geneaii Simon Caiteeon, while he may, not have been a perfect model for the ambitious youth, as a practical politician, is certainly a pattern for those who wish to study the art of bearing a hale old age vigorously and gracefully. His celebration of his ninetieth birthday yesterday showed the old leader, who laid aside active leader ship 12 years ago,as vigorous in mind and as staunch in body as ever. The popularity of the Camerons who have retired from poli tics unites every one in wishing to the old leader an indefinite prolongation of his heartyVsld age. NATUEALiiT, all the hungry and thirsty Republicans are rallying for a clean sweep, just as their Democratic equivalents did under the last administration, and between Republican politicians and Democratic ditto the public does not caremnch whether there is a clean sweep or not THE reported declaration in President Harrison's inaugural that he would not ac cept a second term did not materialize. Probably the President decided that if there is any reason why he should abjure his constitutional privilege of being a candidate for re-election, it would.be more cogent to r efuse it when the nomination is offered to him, than when it is not. The country has just had an example of just how much a four-years old pledge against a second term is worth. Secretjujy Colmait went out of office with the proud consciousness that he had committed no mistakes as a Cabinet officer. It is difficult to make mistakes in a position where the incumbent has nothing to do and which he holds for only a week. With regard to the silly term applied by some Democratic organs to the present ad ministration, "The reign of Harrison II," the Boston Globe says: "We have had two days of Harrison's rain." The Globe should do jnstice and recognize that as the rain set in thirty-six hours before the inauguration, it is more reasonable to set it down as an attempt of Cleveland's weather bureau to throw cold water on the new President West Virginia appears to be so long of Govrenors that she may be suspected of try ing to corner the market. But the produc tion of the West Virginia kind is capable of indefinite expansion. Matoe Grant's declaration to General Manager Eckert the other day: "T want the poles down, and quickly too, or I'll know the reason why," sounds like busi ness. But it is very easy to tell the reason. The poles do not come down because, the big corporations do not want them down. If Mayor Grant can make the corporations do what they do not wish to do, he will be a cynosure among Mayors. With regard to those arrests, we infer from the local reports that Police Court No. 1 has overruled the Common Pleas Court No. 2. THE New York Legislative investigation of the Assembly ceiling steal having been skillfully delayed until the Important wit nesses have got safely out of the State, the jobbers have secured a pretext for letting the matter drop. It is not difficult to avoid investigating a matter of which the dis closures might prove inconvenient to both parties. Gekjuan journalism has evidently fallen in love with the-fake method on internation al news. The announcement that the new post office building will be ready for the roof by June 1, is calculated to take away the public breath. But the roof on a public building only 15 years after the site was purchased! Such reckless haste is contrary to all Government precedents. PROMINENT PEOPLE PARAGRAPHED. Travelers over the Pennsylvania Central have long been amused by the sign "Cleveland and Frank" on a building near the Newark, N. J.. station. "Take Harrison'sTonic" is a lecend which can be seen from tlio car windows as the train leaves Philadelphia. Noah' Brooks and William D. Howells are among the few well-known writers who have learned to manipulate the typewriting ma chine. Mr. Brooks, who has been used to dictating his literary productions to a sten ographer, now sits down to his typewriter and plays on the keys as he composes. Ho finds that this process saves a great deal of time. Ms. Wisdom is the oldest -member of the new Cabinet being very nearly 63 years of age. Mr. Miller is the youngest member, liot having reached his 48tk year. Mr. Blaine and Mr. Rusk are about tbe same age. 59. Mr. Proctor is 5S and Mr. Tracy GO. Next to Mr. Miller, the youngest man in the Cabinet, is Mr. Wana maker, who is not quite 52. The average age of the members of Harrison's Cabinet is G7 years. The oldest who ever entered a Cabinet was Lewis Cass, who became Buchanan's Sec retary of State at 75. Alexander Hamilton was the youngest of all Cabinet officers. There was one curlons circumstance in con nection with the ceremonies in the United States Senate on Monday morning which seems to have escaped mention heretofore. While the prayer was being delivered the President, General Harrison, the Justices. Senators, diplomats, and in fact everybody on the floor, from page to the President pro tem of the Senate, stood reverently-erect excepting Secre tary Bayard. All through the prayer ho sat with his head upon his hand as though sunk in arevcrio and unconscious of what was golngon around him. His failure to rise was a most marked and astonishing circumstance. Lord Habtixgton and Lord Randolph Churchill do not seem to be losing much sleep over Ihe 2Ymcj-Plgott fiasco.for both have been amusing themselves during the last week at the roulette tables of Monto Carlo. Each gambles in tho same manner as ho plays at politics. Hartington, cautious, conservative, pays Uowna few louis at a time, playing a slow game. Impetuous Lord Randolph plunges on a small scale, paying down 10,000 francs at a turn and borrowing more when his change gets low. By the way. Lord Randolph seems suddenly to have grown tired of the turf. Though but a recent accession, he has advertised his horses for sale. This, however, may indicate that he is going to try i different breed, for his pres ent string has not been conspicuously success ful. What We May Expeet Soon. From the New York 'World. A better acquaintance with the geography of the moon. Mars and other still moro distant spheres appears to be within reach. Prof. Hastings, of the Sheffield Scientific School at New Haven, is credited with having achieved a correction of chromatic aberration in the lenses of telescopes uhlch increases the powers of those instruments from 10 to SO per cent Tho time may come yet when we shall know whether our iext planetary neighbor is in habited or not After that it will be easy to establish communication. TTn'a In fSnoi! Trlffhlinir S&nna. ....r '..:.: 4 Bismarck has brought his weight down from 00 to. 165 pounds, and now boasts of one of the finest physiques in Europe. , . THE TOPICAL TALKER. It is the Samo Old War and Murder Where Folly and Health Go Hand-In-Ilnnd The Fains of Bloke. A nor with rosy cheeks, ragged knicker bocker suit and stockings bright in red and blue, diligently sold many an afternoon paper yesterday at the corner of Smithfleld street op posite the postofflco with tho cry: "Same old war and murder." Though he knew it not he described the. Samoan sensation pretty accurately. V The following dialoguo took place recently at the Ponce de Leon Hotel, at St Augustine, be tween a guest and the clerk: v . Guest-What is my bill? Clerk Two hundred and ten dollars, sir. Guest Howt Clerk Two hundred and ten dollars, sir. Quest Guess again! Clerk I didn't understand you, sir. Guest I thought you were, guessing at my pile, . It is the belief of a good many people who have visited St. Augustine that bills are drawn up by the hotel clerks to flt the pocketbooks qf the guests. But if a batchelor is taxed $30 a day for his room and board he certainly gets accommodation of an order that is not obtain able anywhere else on this continent . These are not very many Northern visitors at St Augustine now, but there are many more than when mention was made of Florida's win ter industry in this column a few weeks ago. Probably at the three great hotels to-day, a gentleman who has just returned from St Augustine tells me, there are not more than 500 guests. At this timt last year there were 1,500 or more. The winter has been a very damp one for Florida. Rain has fallen every day until the last week or two. Now it is fair, and the place is of course delightful. N.EAKLYall the people aro at Mr. Flagler's palace, tbe Ponco do Leon, but nevertheless the Cordova and the Alcazar, or tbe Casino, as the latter is moro often called, aro being run with lavish outlay, and the staff of servants are just as large" as if all the North were crowding at their doors. Last Friday a ball was given at the Ponce de Leon, and the hotel furnished a supper to the guests which the swell est of the New York crowd declared was as perfect a banquet as they had ever seen. The guests did not have to pay a cent for it That's the style Mr. Flag ler affects in his role of host Nothing is too good for his guests. V Most of the sojourners in St Augustine are young people, and it goes without saying, that they represent the richest families of the country. Some of the young men have their yachts there, and to facilitate tho emptying of their greenback-gorged pockets, a few charm ing little games of chance are kept going pretty much all the time in the cottage which some eastern bloods bought last year from Pierre Lorillard. In fact there seems to bo no end of fun down there for everybody. Even the millionaires behind the hotels seem to enjoy the novelty of conducting business that does not an(i proba bly never can pay. , By tho way some of tho millionaires over in England seem to be at a loss what to do with their surplus funds. A young woman writes to me from that country in a rather sarcastic vein about a grand entertainment that has been given at the Duke of Westminster's Lon don bouse recently. Ellen Terry, Mrs. Ban croft, Maud Millet Herr Wolf, Isidore de Lara, the son of a pork Dutcber and at present the idol of fashionable musical circles, and a host of other great artists combined to amuse an audience of tip-top swells who paid to each for their seats. "What was this superb combination of talent and blood and fashion for?" my correspondent asks. "Oh! to provide a home for the poor, dear dogs whose owners, unable to pay the dog tax, turn them out of hoose and home. Of course tbe dogs must be considered and pro vided for amply before a refuge is built for poor, homeless, starving human beings I How generous of the Duke of W to lend his. mansion and his great name to such a cause. There! You see I am heartless, and have no pity for the poor lost 'doggies.' But when one thinks of the hundreds and hundreds of poor, degraded men and women homeless and hope less, it makes my blood boil to see such a f ass being made overa lot of dogs." And there is a good deal of feeling of this sort among the men and women of England who think for themselves, and are not blinded by the cataract of gold. It is the sort of feel ing that breeds republicanism. ARSESIC FOE ALCOHOLISM. A Young Man Nearly Kills His Father by Using This Medicine. Edoabtowx, Mass,, March 8. The Benson household in 'West Tisbury has recently been tho scene of some most remarkable goings on. Young William T. Benson is in jail, charged with putting' poison into kis father's whisky and eel chowder. The son implicates his mother, who, he swears in an affidavit consulted him as to the best way of curing thehead of the bouse of alcoholism. They decided, he says, that arsenic in his whisky would turn him against drink about as effectually as anything. The arsenic was placed in the old gentleman's whisky and he suffered unutterable agony, bat finally pulled through. The son and the wife rather expected the old man would die, and they went about telling the neighbors to look out for a funeral. The son confesses that he also put arsenic in some chowder that his mother ate, but he is believed to be lying. DREAMED OP A DRAGON, And Awoke to Find His Head Out of the Window nnd His Thront Cut. NEW Yoiik, March 8. A German barber known as "Phil," employed by Frank Silva at Long Island City, dreamed on Wednesday night that a blue dragon with green eyes and a red tail was about to devour him. He sprang to escape tho monster, and a crash of glass awoke him. He found himself standing at, the window with his head through tho glass and blood pouring from a jagged wound In his throat. Mr. Silva rescued him, and a doctor sewed up the wound. An Ensler Way Out of it. From Detroit Free I'ress.l Somoofthe New York papers made an at tempt to publish a list of the New Yorkers who were at Washington during the inaugural. Those loft In charge of the Indianapolis papers saved typesetting by noticing those who re mained at home. . Tho Trains at the Inauguration. From the Detroit Free Frcss.J It is fortunate that there were not as many accidents, during the excitement at Washing ton, to the trains on tho railroads as to the trains at the inauguration ball. By tho way, all tho railroad trains were sat-in. DEATHS OF A DAY. John Ericsson. NewYobk, Jlarch S. John Ericsson, the great engineer, who gained a world-wide reputation as the Inventor and builder of tho monitor, died at Jits home, X Beach street, tills city, late last night or cystitis. Mr. Ericsson had been 111 for a week when a physician was called In, but ow ing to his advanced age be failed to rally. John Ericsson was born in the province of IVcrmeland, Sweden, in 1803. After having been a cadet in the engineers, he cnterod the navy as ensign In taa, Was employed In -surveys In Northern Sweden, and rose to the rank of captain. In 1ISC, by per mission, he went to England. hoDlng to Intro duce Ills Invention of a ''flame engine," which shonld work independently of steam. This was substantially the same as the "caloric en- ghie," which be afterward perfected ut owing to the circumstances under which it was tried, it proved unsuccessful, air. Ericsson will be known In history rrom bis connection with what Is called tho ".Monitor" sfstem for tlie construction of vessels of war xliis consists In placing tho armament of the vessel in a revolving turret Impregnable to shot, and capnblo of delivering Arc la every direction. The idea has been claimed by several persons, among others by Captain Cowpcr Coles, of the lirltlsn navy, about ISM: but Mr. Theodore B Tlmby had patented It In America somotcn years earlier. Ericsson does not claim the Idea, but only Its arst practical application. This consisted In placing the revolving turret upon a hull Itself Im pregnable to jboU Jiarly In the American civil War Ericsson built. In 100 days, for tho United States Government, the first vessel of this class it did good service In-Jlarch, jsffi when It put an end to the work of the Confederate Ironclad Mer rlmac, which had the day before easily destroyed two of the finest frigates in the Union nayy. Several other vessels of this order, embodying many. Improvements on the original, were con structed under the supervision orErlMKftn. a a thejilose of the Civil w ar he gave his attention to ihe construction or engines. In which heat, notln the form of steam, should be the motive nower. . AN IMPORTANT CIR0DLAR Isised by tbe Intor-State- Commission, Con cernlng.Somo Amendments. Washington, March 8. The Inter-State Commerce Commission to-day Issued an im portant circular pertaining to tbe inter-State commerce act of March 2, 1889. In it attention is called to the fact that an advance in rates shown upon joint tariffs is forbidden, "except after ten days' notice to the commission," and a reduction in such rates is also forbidden "ex cept after three days' notice to the com mission." The time in each case is to he com puted from the day when tbe notice oi advance or reduction reaches the office of tha commis sion in Washington. The circular continues: "Tho transportation of passengers or freight over continuous lines or routes operated by more than one carrier, upon through tickets or through billing, necessarily Implies the exist ence of joint tariffs. Ail joint tariffs now filed in the office of the commission will be under stood as remaining in force until due naiice of advance or reduction is given. When no other tariff is filed the rates on traffic are understood to be the sum of the local rates of tha indi vidual roads. "It is therefore now an indictable offense for any carrier to participate in the reception of compensation above or below the established rate for the transportation of any joint traffic whatsoever. This provision operates topre vent discrimination among shippers, and in case of its violation proof can readily be made." Another provision requires tbe commission to execute and enforce the provisions of the act and makes it tbe duty of any District At torney of the United States, upon the request of tbe commission, to institute and prosecute all necessary proceedings for that purpose. The rule heretofore existed, which requires ten days' public notice of any advance in the rates established by individual carriers, is enlarged by adding the following provision: "Reductions in such published rates, fares, or charges shall only only be made after three days' previous public notice, to bo given in tho same manner that notice of an advance in rates must be given." THE B00DLEES THWARTED. Their Attempt to Bay TJp tho Canadian Pnrllaraont Proves a Boomerang. MontheaTj, March S. Thereseems to be no doubt of the existence of a "boodlcrs' bribery fund" in this city for the purpose of attempt ing to defeat the bill introdnced into Parlia ment by Prot Weldon. which provides for the extradition of criminals to the United States. Tbe exposure of tho scheme, however, has only given an impetus to tho general opinion throughout the Dominion and in Montreal particularly that something should be done to get rid of Uncle Sam's thieves. Expressions of indignation were heard on all sides to-day that the boodlers and thieves shonld have had the temerity to attempt to pollute Parliament witn tneir meinoos. John C. Eno, who Is now at the Windsor Hotel, is the organizer of the scheme, though he calmly says the bill does not apply to -him. He intended to go to Ottawa this morning,. atternoiumgacomerenceiast mgnt witn tne boodlers here, but changed bis mind when he read tbe exposure in the Gazette. Instead bo sent several deipatches to the capital and re mained in tbe hotel all day. Keenan, Dempsey et al are In a wratby mood, and any attempt to interview them would be attended with disastrous consequen ces. The boodlers are holding a council of war to-night in "Boodlers' Corner." It is not known who is receiving the contributions nor whether any bavo been used or if they will all be - returned. Judges, lawyers, politicians and merchants roundly de nounced the fund to-day. and Montreal's Crown Prosecutor has begun an investigation in the hope of obtaining evidence upon which to send the wouldbe bribers to the penitentiary upon the charge of conspiracy. The evening papers severely excoriate tho boodlers ana the scheme. There is no doubt that tbe bill will pass. It will be read the second time on Monday. Tbe boodlers have dug their own graves. THE CABINET II0USE HUKTING. Only Wanamaker nnd Blaine Have as Yet Secured Washlncton Uesidences. Special Telegram to The DUmatcb. Washington, March 8. Final steps were taken to-day in the purchase of the residence of ex-Secretary Whitney by the agents of Post master Qeneral Wanamaker. It is situated on I street just off Farragut square, and has al ways been considered one of the most desirable homes In the city for the residence of a high official. It was the residence of the late Secre tary Frelinghuysen, from whose heirs it was purchased by Mr. Whitney and extensively re modeled, one of the changes being the con struction of the great ball room which has gained a national reputation through the bril liant assemblies which gathered there during the occupancy of tbe house by tbe Whitnevs, antt which it is expected will continue to make the place famous with Mr. Wanamaker as host Mr. Whitney paid about 86O.000 f or the prop erty and it is understood that Mr. Wanamaker gave JS0.000 for it though in this case a portion of the furnishing of tbe house went with it Mr. Wanamaker will move into his new home in a few days. All the members of the new Cabinet are yet stopping at hotels. Tho old Seward house will not be ready for the occupany of Mr. Blaine for several months. Mr. Windom had sold his elegant mansion on Scott Circle, and he, with Tracy, Noble, Proctor, Miller and Rusk are still house-hunting. Vice President Morton will soon move into his splendid house on Scott Circle, which is now in the bands of the managers of an art exhibition for -the benefit of the Garfield Memorial Hospital. A LEYIATIIAN'S TEETH. Fragments of a Marino Monster ofnn Ex tinct Species. OMAHA, March 8. A man named Shumway while digging a well near Livingston, Banner county, has found a portion of the jaw of some extinct monster containing two teetb, one of which is ten inches long and four inches wide and weighs seven and a half pounds. Tbe ani mal is supposed to have been a species of fish, as fragments were found of fins about as large as a man's hand. The skull is long and flat and has a horn be t ". :en the eyes nearly two f oet long and resem bling tbat of a rhinoceros. A Rival to tho German. From the Philadelphia Times J Society in Jefferson City, Mo., has con structed a rival to the german. They call it the "Virginia." Each guest is provided with an ear of corn and a pan. They shell tho corn and place it in jars, and then oach one is given a guess. The prizes are a thermometer on a corncob and a corncob pipe. Among tbe re freshments is cider drawn from a keg marked "1776" and served in a gourd 100 years old. -- Coins ISO Ycnrs Old. New YOBK.March 8. James Clark, of Piscat away, N. J., lives in a house 165 years old. Yes terday, while making repairs, be found a small tin box containing some copper coins 150 years old. One was a penny dated 1789, another a half-penny dated 1736. Mr. Clark thinks bo will find some hidden treasure before he gets through overhauling tho house. They Can Rest Their Weary Heads. From tho Philadelphia Times. Now tbat Brother Blaine has resumed busi ness at the old stand the military editors will be able to sleep at nights without fear that Bis marck will steal away tho country before morn ing. CAUGnT ON TI1E GRIP LINE. My friend has got a red, red nose. And he has it all the year: And It, as everybody knows. Has cost him very dear. Customer How much are your strawber ries? Dealer Five dollars a quart Customer Are they fresh and sweet? Dealer Indeed, 1 couldn't say. I can't afford to sample them, but they smell good. : FtiACE NO DIK1" : on : Honuisii HEHE. : ; . l'EXALTYl 3. ; And. by gosh, If those fresh Chicago police didn't arresta crowd of- Anarchists who were holding a meeting on the premises. Wife Here is a letter in this paper which starts off by saying, '-Grovcr Cleveland was be yond a doubt the greatest man who ever occupied tho Prcsldental chair, aud " Husband Now, before yon read any more. Just look and sea whose opinion that Is. Wire It don't say. Husband Ain't the letter signed? Wlfe-Oh, yes. Yours truly, Grover Cleveland. Etiquette for Barbers When a customer enters while yon are smoking a toby, wash your hands before shaving him. Soon the springtime will be her. Then the birds will sing their praise. Hot tlie'worstphase'of Hall," - . Women get the bonnet craze. - . -;;:a .,.,.-. --o.o. A DAY' IN A BIG CITY. Bcecher Dead for Two Years. (NEW YORK BUREAU SPECIALS.! New Yoiik, March 8. To-day is tho second anniversary at the death of Henry Ward Beecher. Last year Plymouth Chm-ch held elaborate memorial exercises on thts'annivep sary. but this year there, was no formal com memoration of Mr, Beech er's death. A New Bat Important Business. The steamship Montauk to-day snipped 320 harvesters, 650 hay rakes, 1,200 patent reapers and 300 mowers, being a complete cargo of American machinery d.eatlned for Russia. The shipment of American' agricultural machinery to Russia began within the last 6 months, and has already become an important business. Only a Corner Anticipated. There was a rumor on tho Metal Exchange to-day that the American Pig Iron Trust had completed preparations for controlling the market Dealers outside the trust are antici pating a corner. Bell Boy Not to Trot Just Yet, George H, Hopper, who has a half interest in Bell Boy, tbe trotter recently purchased for 51,000, says he doesn't intend to trot the famous stallion for three or tour years. The horse will remain with Macy fc Co., of Kentucky, for the present season. Mr. Hopper is here attending the sale of California horsea. The Very First Sixteen Ladles. Society circles have been intensely agitated for the last' six weeks over the selection of 16 ladies to dance In the opening quadrille at the great Centennial ball. Tbe selection, as every body knows, was to carry with it the greatest weight as establishing social precedence in this city. Such bickerings and jealousies and wire-pullings as the matter has occasioned hare never before been known. The selection was largely in the hands'of Ward McAllister, the "400" dictator, who is chairman of the sub committee in charge of the matter. Tho names of the chosen ladies were made public to-day. They are Mrs. Charles Francis Adams, Mrs. William Astor, Mrs. William Waldorf Astor, Mrs. Grover Cleveland, Mrs. Frederio J. De Peyster, Mrs.Elbrldge T. Gerrjt Mrs. Alex ander Hamilton, Mrs. Benjamin Harrison, Mrs. Rutherford B. Hayes, Mrs. John Jay, Mrs. Archibald Grade King, Miss Caroline Living ston, Mrs. Levi P. Morton, Miss Schuyler, Mrs. Henry Van Rensselaer and Mrs, Sidney Webster. Mrs. Friend and Friends Remanded. Mrs. Friend and her four associates in tbe Electric sugar fraud were arraigned to-day and remanded till Monday, when the question of bail will be considered.- Anstln Corbln Is All Right. Austin Corbln was down town to-day, attend ing to business as usual. The report that he was seriously ill is untrue; behad a slight cold a few days ago, but is now all right WELL FIXED FOR A PAUPJ3E. The Inmate of a County Poorhonse Found to bo Worth 97,000. CRAWPOKDSViiLE, Ind.. March 8. Yester day afternoon George Myers, Superintendent of tbe County Asylum, made the startling dis covery that Martin Cook, who had been an in mate of tbat institution for about six months, had a lot of money secreted in his room. The Board of County Commissioners was Informed and this morning made an Investigation. They found sewed up in an old leather belt almost 7,000 in gold, silver and greenbacks. 'Cook has been an itinerant tailor, and is abont 70 years old. He is hy birth a Russian, and has no relatives or friends in this country. The Commissioners fired him from the poor honse, first charging him $2 a week for board for the time he has been stopping there. He did considerable tailoring for the other inmates, and for this was allowed 1 a week for the same length of time. SHOEING SNIPES. A Man Claims That Stamps Have a Better Flavor Than Now Clears. From the Mew York Snn.l A portly man of middle age complained loudly when he was cautioned by the cigar dealer to light his cigar well or he would spoil it "That's all nonsense," he said. "If you let your cigar go out and then lay it aside for a short time you will find that the flavor is vastly improved when you relight it If yon don't be hevo it just try it, and you will never make the mistake again of selling a man a poor cigar and then advising him to light it well." The writer tried this scheme, and discovered that the portly man was right He noticed that what is vulgarly called a "snipe" always smokes bet ter ana hasa purer taste of tobacco than a new cigar. JUSTICE MATTHEWS BETTEE. His Physician Says He Is Improving and Likely to Recover Soon. Washington, March 8. Tha condition of Justice Stanley Matthews is considerably im proved this evening. At 9 o'clock Dr. Johnson, his attending physician, said that his patient's symptoms were hourly improving. The fever had almost entirely subsided, his pulse was abont normal and his general condition was such as to warrant the belief tbat in course of the next few days he will have regained all he has lost Bootblacks Form a Syndicate. New York; March 8. A syndicate of three Italians has paid 2,000 for the bootbladking privilege of the Pennsylvania railroad ferry boats. The same men enjoy the privilege on the Statea Island and New Jersey Central boats, for which they pay 110 per month. They have discharged all the old oootblacks. 'who used to have the run of tbe boats, and hired new ones at H 0 and S3 a week. Full Dress Reform Movement Opposed. From the Norrlstown Herald. It Is reported that the move made by New York Society young men to wear knee breeches on full dress occasion is being strenuously op posed by Mr. Bergh's Society for tho Preven tion of Cruelty to Animals, on the ground that the fashion would, painfully expose too many weak calves. And Now for tboDoctors. From the Chicago News. The hotel keepers of Washington hare reaped a rich harvest; now, thanks to the ceaseless dowuDour of rain on Monday, the doctors will have their turn. Kismet. From the New York Snu.2 It's strange to watch each school-day friend. As in the world he rises, For the dunco oft makes a higher mark Than the boy that won the prizes. TO HIS CONSTITUENTS. Well, neighbors, I klndy got there, In spite o' the Eastern crowd, An' they'll hear to your Uncle Jerry ef he don't talk so very loud; An' every rnstlln1 corn stalk an' every cabbage blue Will be glad o' the new Department an' proud o' the Badger tew. In agrlcultoor, neighbors, hit's alwuz the safest plan To go by your past experience, an' do the best ye can; But stein' 's this here Department is all so new an' strangu Ye must give the old man a decent show till he klndy gits his range. Ez near as I can calcylate, the thing this country needs More'n anythin' else is good full craps, w'lch argynes lots o' seeds. So I'll hire a secretary man and make him write around Among ye all to find what ye want, an' the natnr' o'your ground. They's lots o' money to spend fer ships, an' rivers ahd harbors, tu I'll undertake to git the farmers some before I'm thru: So send me a list o' the seeds ye want an' the newest faratn'' tools, An' we'll see cf the folks in the great Northwest arc on'y a passcl o' fools. Some feller says thct he is a publlo comforter who makes Two blades o' grass grow 'stead o' one, bnt thet aln'frno great shakes Ef 1 don't coax out five fer one an make it grow. ranker 'n higher Th'n ever yon see It grow afore, my name ain't Jeremiah. ,. . -, - Jaffna fori Evtnlng Sun, ODE MAIL iWCfl. Ths Racs Problem. To the Editor of Ths Dispatch; Permit me to take exceptions to some of tbe statements made in an article with the above caption in a recent number of The Dispatch. It strikes me that the writer la either prejudiced or misinformed. It is true tbat dense ignorance has ruled, and still rules, in some portions ot the South. There are even now colored people in tbe in terior of some of the far Southern States who do not know that they are free. But what is the cause of this ignorance who made tbem V what tbey are? The white race has kept them j in darkness. Tbey brought from the shores of Africa simple human beings, and in a lana where all was strange, kept tbem cowed and trembling under the lasb. They gave tbem no chance to advance, but preferred keeping tbem ignorant Why, then, talk of lack of progress. 1 think the colored people, as a whole, have advanced rapidly in intelligence since emanci pation was declared. What race can be named that ever made better progress in the same length of time? When the war ended and the negroes learned tbat they were free as many as could left the South and scattered all over tbe United States. Most of tbem were without money; they had no decent clothine and no knowledge of tbe world. Those who were obliged to remain in the vicinity of their former homes were in many cases treated most in humanely by the whites. Those who icamo North prospered, gained wealth and knowl edge, and some of them returned to erect SChOOlS for their lefts f nrtnnfitA brethren The societies which sent missionaries and teachers to tbe South to Instruct tbe colored men, were composed of white people. Those whom they employed for this work were white. Had they taken tho money paid to such teach ers and with it educated colored men and women and sent them South to teach, there suit, I think, would have been vastly better for the negroes. Aad if the laws could be so ad ministered in the South that colored and white SJ?n,0Jlld .h,aTe e1nal Protection, the gain SJ4. be stiU ETea,er- The Freedmen's Aid bocleties were a godsend to the people born in navery and kept in ignorance and superstition. 5K? wonur that the colored race had some ambition to rise when it grew in knowledge. Tho surprising thing is that the negroes progressed as fast as they nave done when given but half a chance. Tne war left the South impover ished, and its effects were felt by both races. ii? niteA mh, reduced resources, were obliged to hire their work done they had not been taught to labor themselves. Some sold off their land for a song, and enterprising colored men bought them. There are shiftless negroes every race contains such people but the hard workers are more numerous. With fair dealing, some schooling and opportunity to "hoe his own row" the colored man can generally take care of himself and his family and leave those who havo befriended him no chance to blush at his lack of improvement There are colored men, both in tho South and in the North, quite as capable of filling Government offices as any white men tbat could be selected for tbe positions. I certainly hope that the present administration will see flt to bestow some of the gifts at its disposal upon negroes. It would encourage the colored people and give them increased self-respect But whether whites or negroes, there is every reason that all responsible positions should bo filled with honest capable, God-fearing men, and nowhere is the need of such men in office greater than in the South. Let the same jus tice be meted out to tha white and the colored man, and let each have equal opportunities for enjoying life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. This will most speedily effect a settlement of "the race question." ALLEGHENY, March 8. S. W. B. L, Riots in Philadelphia, . To the Editor of The Dispatch: Please let mo know if you have anything on file regarding the riot in Philadelphia what year it took place, what was burned and what was the origin of it and greatlv oblige a sub scriber for 43 years. YoubsRespectfuiat. Pittsbuko, March 8. TThero bjive hepn sevml t-fnta i niti-ni phla. In 1835 riots were incited against the colored population, and in 1838 Pennsylvania Hall, owned by tho anti-slavery societies and OCCUnled bv them nq rrtftotfnf nl,.a -win burned by a mob. In 18H tho districts of A-ensmirton ana aoutnwarK were the scenes of riots, arising from hostility between the Roman CathOliCS and thn "nAtlVA Amnrlfan," IT.. trouble lasted considerable time; two Catholic churches were burned, the military were called out and some lives lost Not This Season. To thft Editor of The Dispatch: Kindly let me know if Mary Anderson is to appear In Pittsburg this season. J. F. K. Alieghest, March 8. F0UE DATS IN A TEANCE. A Colored Girl at Urbsna In a Strange Men Ml Condition. Ubbaita, O., March 8. A young colored girl named Laura Highwarden has caused consider able excitement among tbe colored population of this city by going into a trance and remain ing in that condition for f our days. It appears she has been attending revival services at St Paul's M. EL Church, and, becoming convinced of her sins, went forward several nights to the altar for prayer. On Friday night after an hour spent in pleading for forgiveness, she be came quite animated and astonished the con gregation by going into a trance and remaining in that condition until last night All the time she has been perfectly un conscious, and all efforts to restore her proved fruitless, lying in a stupor and at intervals lapsing into a state that indicated lifelessness. She claims to have seen tbe Savior and her dead father, and also tho devil, 'and has set to-day as the time of her death. A large number of persons visit her, and, although sick in bed, she never tires of telling what she saw While in her strange condition. CATHOLIC KNIGHTS ADJ0DEN. Last Day of the State Council at Harris bnrg Officers Elected. Special Telegram to The Dispatch. HABKiSBUna, March 8. There was an inter esting meeting of the State Council of the Catholic Knights of America in this city to day. The membership of this insurance order is about 650 in this State and 19,000 in the United States. It has been in existence abont 11 years, during wbich time it bas paid out in benefits over 1500,000. Tbe Pennfylrania Council has paid to the heirs of deceased mem bers tbe past two years 32,000. Tbe officers elected to-day are; James F. Sbennv, of Phila delphia, President; W. F. Condrian, Oil Cltv, Vice President; John J. O'Kourke. Philade'l- hla. Secretary; Mr. Druding, of the firm of irnding Brothers, Treasurer, and Father Barry, Spiritual Director. Rev. Barry and J. J. O'Kourke, of Philadel. phla, were elected delegates to the Supreme Council, which will meet at Chattanooga on May 12, of this year. The next meeting of tbe State Council will bo beld at Latrobe on the third Tuesday of September, 1800. Ho WasnGrcnl.Grent-Grnndrnther. TitusVilix. March 8. John Baney, Sr., who was buried to-day at Cherry Tree, leaves a remarkable number of descendants. He was 93 years old, and bad 12 sons, 160 grandchildren, 33 great-grandchildren and eight great-greatgrandchildren. No Tom and Jerry for Him. From the Chicago Herald. It was manifestly impossible for Mr. Harri son to appoint both Piatt and Rusk to his Cab inet Anions administration could not afford to have Tom and Jerry at its council board. That Unlucky Number Again. From the Chicago News.J Pigott committed suicide on a Friday in a hotel bedchamber numbered 13. Every supersti tious Tory in England will see bad luck in this gruesome circumstance. SOME CHOICE ADS. Men wanted to work in brewery. Those able to subsist on 10 glasses of beer a day pre ferred. A oentlejian just returned from the in auguration wonld like to hire for a few days only a No. 12 hat A vert fat sleek man wanted to stand at door of restaurant and give out bills. A salary of $1 a week will be paid to right party. Wanted, as clerk in fashionablb drygoods establishment a young gentleman with a beau tiful blond mustache and blue eyes which have silky, drooping eyelashes. Mb. Benjamin Habrisojt, White House, Washington, would respectfully remind the 03,000,000 people of tbe United States that, having at the upmost not more than 100,000,000 offices at his disposal, it will be impossible for him to provide positions for 65,000,000. A Eubopeam nobleman of very ancient lineage, at present residing in ono ot ths most fashionable hotels of this city, being possessed of -a soal which makes his position theroof waiter abhorrent to him, would ilka to improve his condition in life by marrying tfome rich American heiress. - .3 v.? Ethan Allen, the onte famous trotting horse, still lives at tbe age of 32 at Byfield Par ish, Mass. Captain R. Ureck Is the tallest man in Colorado. His height Is 7 feet and 7 inches. According to a Denver paper an eight foot vein of kaolin has been found at Golden, Col. A thousand colored people passed through Birmingham,-Ala., the other night, en route to new homes in Kansas, Arkansas and Texas. In Raleigh, N. C, lately the cold was so intense and travel, in consequence, so light that tho street cars were "tied up" shortly after dark. An offer of $500 was recently made for a madstone owned In Charlotte. N. C. Tha stone has a record of having cured more than 100 cases of mad dog and snake bites. The prize offered by the French Acad emy of Sciences for a paper on the transmis sion of power by electricity has been with drawn, no oaoer of sufficient merithavine been 1 received. During the past week hunting dogs" valued at 3,300 have been poisoned in Hunt ingdon, L. I. More than 30 setters and pointers . have met their death at the bands of unknown-., miscreants. A domestic in Bangor, Me., who was given a physician's prescription to have filled, misunderstood her instructions and mailed tha paper, and in due time it reached tha doctor who wrote it An enterprising resident of. Langres, France, who had been arrested for shooting at his sweetheart made love to the jailer's daughter. She assisted him to escape, and tha pair then eloped. A Baltimore barber makes the assertion that a man's beard grows faster In bright weather than in elouuv. He thinks that ths sunlight bas the same 'effect on the hair of a man's head and face as it has on plants. The "largest" locomotive ever built in Massachusetts will be shipped this week from Taunton, Mass to the Mexican Central Road. The engine has a. 56-inch steel boiler, 54-inch driving wheels and 20x21 cylinders. Upper Stratford, Conn., has a hermit He is a young man, and, according to accounts, began the life of a recluse because of a disap pointment in love. He lives in a cave dug be neath a large rock, and bis only companion is a mink, which he has trained to obey his com mands. A singular case of illness, and one wbich puzzles doctors, is that of John McKin non, Sr., of Castine, Me. He has no control over his right arm and leg. which more about spasmodically, and at times violently. At first he seemed to have but little pain, but now ha shows signs of suffering, and is losing strength. An inventor named De Force, of Sioux City, has perfected an apparatus which he claims has solved the problem ot perpetual mo tion. The plan of the machine is at present kept secret It has already turned a heavy grindstone 16 days without letting go its grip. A patent has been applied for. The thrifty Washington tradesman knows how to make hay while the sun shines and money while the rain falls. A grocer last Monday charged a Philadelpblan 23 cents for four crackers and two red herrings, which i about on par with the old cost of 10 cents for a "California hot lunch," one cracker and pepper sauce. The Siamese King has put his court etiquette aside and bas started his sons to England to complete their education at a pub lic school there. They are Princes Kilyakara, Rabipatanasak, Provitvatimoon and Cbirapro vat, and their ages range from 13 to 10. Their schoolmates will soon find shorter names for them, and names that will probably pleats them better than their own. Two young men who keep bachelors' hall In Heard county, Ga, went home late the other night As they were about to enter the house they heard a low, gurgling sound, which so frightened tbem that they ran half a mile to a neighbor's bouse. A party from there armed themselves with axes, scythes, pitchforks and other deadly weapons and returned to find that the noise had been made by a dog tbat was choking to death on a bone. A member of the Legislature of Ar kansas recently had occasion to nominate a young lady for the office of enrolling clerk. He is reported as having met tha responsibility of bis position in this snperb manner: "I shall not say that the one I name is as beautiful as the angels are. fpr. I have never seen an angel and know nofhow beautiful they are, hut I will say that it angels look like the lovely maiden whose name I put in nomination the angels are beautiful Indeed. At a recent meeting of the Royal So ciety of Edlnburg, John Aitkin submitted a paper on improvements in apparatuses for counting dnst particles in the atmosphere, and explained that he bad made a nnmber of ex periments in tbe open air at CoImonelL. Ayr shire. He there found that the number of dust particles in the air ranged from 500 to 9,000 per cubio centimeter. He tested the air ot the meeting room and found it to contain 100,000 dust particles per cubic centimeter, while the air near tbe ceiling was found to contain 3,500,000 particles per cubic centimeter. An operatic manager who was about to give a grand opera in Rio Janeiro engaged three different men as first tenor in Paris. Dur ing tho voyace this fact came out and the three men indignantly demanded an explana tion from the manager. "Gentlemen," be said In suave tones, "It will be all right. I am an old manager in the Rio Janeiro business, and either one of yon would be perfectly sat isfactory to me; but we shall not be there a week before two are certain to fall victims to the yellow fever, and the one that is left will be my first tenor for the coming season. I have tried it many years, and never knew it to fail, so there is no use quarreling about it at this early day." An exciting marriage took place the early part of the week, at a museum in Mem phis, Tenn. The bride was an Albino "curio" and the groom an attache of the establish ment As the ceremony was being performed by the justice of the peace the Albino's brother caught the bridegroom by tbe collar and tho groom grasped him by the hair. Tbey waltzed around the ball in a hostile embrace, the bride clinging to her chosen and the justice following in a trot, repeating the formula required by law. By the time the circuit of the room was completed the justice announced that tho twain were man and wife, and then began to separate tbe irato husband and brother. Tha newly-married conple left the hall under tha protection of the law. TIMELY' TOPICS. CURIODS CONDEKSATIONS. . Knew the Order. Scientist (in restaurant) Bring me a decoction of burnt peas, sweetened with glucose and lightened with chalk and water. Walter (vociferously) Cotry fer onel A Seasonable Explanation. Michael O'Howke Faith, an' that's a very small baby yer wheelin around. Bridget. Tbe Nnrse What can yer expect, Hike, whin they feed the little erector on condensed milk. ANecessaryVirtue. Harry Marridwell " Let's go to the opera, Ethel. These long evenings are awfully dull. Ethel-Oh, Harry 1 Before we were married, yon never wanted to go anywhere. Harry Could n't afford it Quite Impossible. He So you think tho missing link will never be found? She It Is Impossible. He Why Impossible? She Because when found, it will not be ths missing link. An Innocent Amusement Deacon Dry bones (at a meeting to protest against Inaugura tion balls) -Dancing, my brethren and slstern. Is simply hugging to music. Unsophisticated Sister Is that all It Is? I got an , idea somehow that dancing was something wicked A Connection by Courtship. Fred Good morning, brother Jack. r' Jack (gloomily) Howdy? Explain Joke. Fred You called on Agle last night? ,- Jack (In a "take-care" tone of voice-W'eUrJfe. Fred-Oh, nothing. She promised to be a slsteVjv to me, too. Jt3? Betweenthe Amateur Acts. Mansfield. Tour performance of Fanllne was most enchant? ing. 1 qutto lost myself several times. ' , Miss Uolyoke Yes, I noticed you did. By tha way, I told paps, before the guests came, that If he'd have the buffet put in tbe drawing room he'd , save a great deal of unnecessary going out. . A Permanent Position. Fond Mother Out of a position again, my son? This will never ' do. You have had a dozen splendid chances with- 1 In three months, and did not stick to any of them a week. You must do something for a living. -Have you no stamina at all? Bon-Don' t worry abont me. mother. I'm going to marry aa actress. A Trained Bird. Customer See liere we don't want this parrot we got or yon yesterday It doesn't say an j thing but "Darling. darUni" will you be mine!" " ' Bird dealer-Ah, I see, now! That U theaa Doxroncu uj will yuH soriorniy; TMt's'wlia she taught It. You see, ho had a steonglmsginaA. uwu. . e-'it SKnakKl j -ij-w' : iif, .. .asisV-fVK - .'JR. ..ii i - a ? . ' ItJfiim' -AUjmnlimut :.? 'j. iBta