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THE BETIBING PBESIDENT.
To-morrow President Cleveland will step
out of the "White House; and the party
whose representative he was will turn from
the exercise of executive and legislative
power to its more accustomed functions of
opposition and criticism.
There has. been a great deal of ink and
Eome temper wasted since the election, rather
more by Democratic than by Bepublican
writers, in trying to explain how the change
came about. "What is the good of these
controversies now? The general public, by
-whom men and measures are fairly judged,
are in no sort of doubt as to the "whys"
and "wherefores." Tltey know that, de
'"Evitea few serious mistakes ot judgment,
Mr. Cleveland filled the office of President
honestly, capably, creditably. They also
know that he and his party were defeated,
not because of faults in the President's ex
ecutive course, but because he and his ad
visors fatuously staked all on a policy of
tariff reduction which was a menace to the
business interests of the whole country.
The very critics who have latterly been lay
ing their burden of defeat and disappoint
ment on the President's shoulders were but a
few months ago loudest in urging their par
ty after the "will o the wisp" of free trade,
which led to the dismal swamp of disaster.
The estimate which the country enter
tertains of the retiring President, and
which history must record, will not be based
npon narrow personal prejudices. Repub
licans and Democrats, alike, will give Mr.
Cleveland credit for doing the best he knew
Low while in the "White House. His fail
ure will be attributed mainly, and no doubt
rightly, to the fact of his having got beyond
his depth on the tariff matter, and to his
obstinacy in making that the sole issue of
There are few persons, of any political
persuasion, who are not ready to extend to
Mr. Cleveland, as he steps out of office, a
fair share of the good will which all classes,
without respect to partisanship, will to
morrow cheerfully bestow upon his suc
cessor, General Harrison.
THE CANUCKS A"" SCAEED.
It is safe to presume that the editorial
declaration of the Toronto Empire, which is
printed elsewhere in this issue, represents
broadly the opinion of the present ministry
in Canada. Irom this declaration the only
dedpMtion is that the men who for the time
being, hold the reins of government in Can
ada, are utterly opposed to the proposal of
a commercial union between the United
States and their country. They profess to
see in Congressman Hitt's proposal only a
thin cover to another of more serious politi
cal import; to wit, the annexation of Can
ada by the United States. The Canadian
view from the Empire't standpoint
is that the adoption of a harmonious
commercial policy of the two powers on this
continent is net far from a flat declaration
of hostile independence on Canada's part
against England. This independent condi
tion, following the Empire's line of argu
ment, can only end in Canada being
merged in the United States.
"We are sorry that our Canadian brethren
'persist in multiplying negroes in the wood
pile. But it is their business. If the Can
adians can wait, so can the United States,
for union of any kind, commercial or polit
ical PBOIITIC OS DISMAL SENSATIONS.
If a succession of tragedies could have a
-restraining influence on the Tory methods
of repression and coercion in dealing with
Irish politics Mr. Balfour and his col
leagues would have let up long ago. The
death cf Mapdeville and the suicide of Dr.
Jtidleylast bummer, under circumstances
akin to those which befell Pigott, furnished
a case in point. Just as Pigott, the instru
ment of the Timet in the slanders against
ParnelL chose to blow out his brains rather
than attempt to proceed in his wretched
work, so Dr. Bidley, who was responsible
under Balfour for the treatment which
ended in the death of the political prisoner
Mahdeville, was so overcome during the
investigation as to destroy himself in a fit
'Whether the English people will care to
continue an administration whose leading
and "memorable incidents are such dismal
sensations, varied only by the clubbing and
bayoneting, of the people, the arrest and
imprisonment of priests and elected repre
sentatives, and murderous reprisals by the
infuriated populace against the police, will
he the great issue at the next general elec
tion in England. Scotland and "Wales are
But while the Tories, with their Balfour,
their Crimes Act and their prison dis
cipline, their libels and their Pigotts, have
made no progress, it is cheerful to note that
Mr. Gladstone, by his "message of peace,"
has completely won the sympathy and sup
port of the Irish people. The Grand Old
Man could safely go bail for peace in Ire
land, or for almost anything he might de
mand in that quarter, if he were returned
to power. Parnell's late speech in the
House of Commons Thursday night ex
pressed the national opinion exactly on that
TEE CEO WD-AT THE CAPITAL.
Of course the whole country is interested
in the events now transpiring in "Washing
ton. It is not only natural, but fitting and
proper that this should be so. But granting
this, we fail to see the reason why the entire
population of these Unite'". States should
exhibit an uncontrollable impulse to rush to
the Capital City as if it were the scene of
the greatest show on earth. New Presidents
are not a novelty; we have had them at in
tervals ot four and eight years ever since
the Constitution was adopted, and are likely
to keep on making and inaugurating them
at the same rate as long as this Bepublio
Why, then, should such a fuss be made
over the simple ceremonies attending the
transfer ot the executive power irom the
hands of one man to those of another? The
tendency shown in recent years toward
making more and more of a lavish display
on each succeeding inauguration day is one
of the foolish eccentricities in which this
great American people delight to indulge
occasionally. The average citizen seems to
be a different being altogether from what he
used to be. He delights in crowds, martial
music and pompous processions, but why he
does so no philosopher has yet attempted tp
explain. He is welcome to whatever satis
faction he can get out of a visit to over
crowded "Washington at the present time.
"We wish him joy, though we hardly think
he will find it there. If he returns a sadder
and wiser man he will probably conclude
that his presence at the capital on March 4
four years hence is not absolutely essential
to the welfare of this nation.
TOO HANY DITOECES.
The remarks made by Judge "White yes
terday upon the abuse of the divorce laws
in this county are patently justified. No
doubt a great many of the two hundred and
fifty applications for divorce made in the
Pittsburg courts during last year were
based on frivolous or otherwise improper
grounds, and a warning from the bench is
timely and profitable. In cases of divorce,
the very fact that the evidence is generally
ex parte should make the libellant's coun
sel, and still more the Commissioner hear
ing the application, cautious and exacting
in the proceedings.
The judge's admonition Is evidently di
rected at the lawyers as well as the public
at large. It would be strange, indeed, if
this were not so, for it is in the power of the
attorney to instruct applicants for divorce
as to the legitimacy and propriety of their
I grounds for action and relief. A good deal
j of this divorce extravagance is secondarily
due to the carelessness of attorneys in taking
and forwarding applications for divorce
without due examination. At the same
time it is evident, as Judge "White suggests,
that there are a great many men and women
in this community who regard tne marriage
tie as one to be broken on the most trivial
pretext, and principally at the mere wish of
the two individuals most concerned.
It is to be hoped that the attitude of the
bench on this serious question, and the
summary dismissal of a number of iniprop
erly grounded applications may serve to
stay the dangerous tide of divorce in this
ANOTHER TIMES BLUNDEE.
That once respectable newspaper, the
London Times, seems to be in a fair way to
distinguish itself as the greatest blunderer
in the journalistic world. It is hardly fair,
we know, to bit a man when he is down,
even if the unlucky individual be an editor,
yetthe comments of that journal on the ac
tion of Congress in providing for the admis
sion of four new Slates Into the American
union are too ridiculous to pass Unnoticed.
The Times writer evidently thinks we have
done a rash and inconsiderate thing. "The
Americans themselves)" sagely remarks
this London authority, "imperfectly com
prehend the actual amountof metamorphosis
involved in the change. It is as impossible
for a community like America not to be
transformed by the plunging into it of realm
after realm as for the infusion of a potent
ingredient not to affect a chemical combina
tion." How luminous! Dismissing the first re
mark with the statement that a "change"
which did not involve a certain "amount of
metamorphosis" would bo an anomaly on
this side of the water at any rate we re
spectfully beg leave to inform our British
cotemporary that thjs country is not exactly
a community, but aratber fair-sized nation,
and that, instead of adding "realm after
realm" to the United States we have simply
been making better provisions for the
government of a portion of our already vast
possessions. "We began with 13 States, and.
though the number has now increased more
than threefold, the people generally look
upon the transformation of a Territory into
a State as anythingbut a national calamity.
It is about the best way we have of showing
the world how fast the country is growing
in wealth and population.
WHY THESE TEARBT
"Who would be a President? See what a
pretty sea, of trouble surrounds General
Harrison. His best friends speak-of him as
nearly worried to death over the composi
tion of his Cabinet. Historians in "Wash
ington picture for us the piteous spectacle
of a politician coming from the presence of
the President-elect in a shower of tears,
tears shed not because the politician him
self had been unable to cecum the postoffice,
at Matawan for his brother-in-law, but at
the sorrowful plight of General Harrison,
Is the entrance to the "White House little
less gloomy than the passage to the tomb,
or are the imaginations of the people in
General Harrison's neighborhood over-active?
In short, is General Harrison really
spoiling his complexion and dabbling his
shirt bosom with briny tear drops, or has
his persistent taciturnity and above all, his
refusal to publish the names of his Cabinet
officers driven those who have to write about
him to pen stories, that have more beauty
than truth about them?
For our part we think that General Har
rison is not worrying nearly as much about
affairs as are a good many Republicans
possessed of hopes and ambitions in the line
of office. The character of the President
elect, as far as discovered at this .day, shows I
no trace of weakness or nervousness. Doubt
less he feels the responsibility of bis posi
tion more deeply each day, but it is not
likely that he has had resort to smelling
bottles or handkerchiefs, his own or his
friends, for relief in the present crisis.
' In this connection it is interesting to note
that Mr. James G. Blaine, of Maine, is re
ported to be exhibiting a beautiful line of
beaming snjlles, chats amiably with every
body, and has shown a marked predilection
for low comedy at the theaters.
The playful students of the "Wesleyan
College who indulged in dynamite bomb
tlirowmg on "Washington's Birthday can
thank their stars' that their punishment is
limited to suspension from college. It
might have easily been another kind of sus
pension by the neck.
Among the clever young newspaper men
of the diy who reflect credit on their Pitts
burg training is Mr. George N. McCain,,
formerly of The Dispatch more recently
of the Commercial-Gazette, and, after to
morrow, State political editor of our cotem
porary, the Philadelphia Press. As West
ern Pennsylvania readers know, Mr. Mc
Cain wields an uncommonly facile pen, to
which qualification he adds unlimited ener
gy, good taste, good judgment and wide ac
quaintance. One of the results of his ac
cession to the Press we hope to be the en
lightenment ot the Philadelphia mind upon
the fact that the boundaries of Pennsylva
nia are somewhat more than coincident
with those of the Quaker City.
President Cleveland's veto club
whistled in the air for about the last time
yesterday. It fell on the Direct Tax re
funding scheme, and if the latter recovers
at some later day, it will not be because
Mr. Cleveland did not belabor it enough.
In Chicago the patrons of the cable cars
are not to be trifled with. There have been
many accidents to one of the cable lines
lately, and passengers after paying, their
fare have been forced to get out and
walk. Many of these passengers have
sued for and recovered tbeir nickels, sad
dling heavy costs on the cable companies at
the same time. The accidents and delays
are of course decreasing.
There will be weeping and wailing in
Ohio. Our neighbors have been regarding
the direct tax bill as a sort of reserve fund,
and President Cleveland's farewell whack
at it with his veto club will upset Ohio's bal
ance sheet for a good while.
We believe something was said in the pa
pers a few months ago to the effect that a
"Vice President was to be inaugurated
March 4. Has this part of the programme
been overlooked by the Committee of Ar
rangements or only by the "Washington cor
respondents? The published reports are
conspicuous for their lack of information on
Pennsylvania prohibitionists won't
have to fight the battle alone this year. N ew
Hampshire is to vote on a Constitutional
amendment March 12. and Massachusetts is
to decide the same question a few weeks
Good fortune as well as misfortune seems
to make strange companionships. Sara
Bernhardt, the. Prince of "Wales and Sir
Arthur Sullivan, the opera composer, have
been sitting side by side at the Monte Carlo
gambling tables til the week, and all three
have had good luck. They make a pretty
trio, with the tiger in the brck ground.
It is stated that Senator Evarts is am
bitious to become a judge. Should he ever
hold that position convicts would inevitably
get long sentences that is, if he made any
speeches to them.
Maggie Mitchell has appeared in an
entirely new role. She is the plaintiff in a
suit for divorce from her husband, Mr.
Paddock. It cannot be said that the part
fits Miss Mitchell as naturally as it usually
does an actress. Mr. Paddock cannot 'very
well claim that he was mistaken in his
wife, for he courted her for 14 years.
New York and Indiana are reported
dissatisfied with the Cabinet, before its
make-up has been officially announced. It
is the early grumbler who catches the most
Joe Howard wants the actors to tell the
newspaper critics what they want in . the
way of criticism, but he forgets to ask the
public what they yearn for. "We can tell
Mr. Howard what the actors will get and
what the pnblio wants to know in this sec
tion of the earth simply the plain truth at
Senator Stanford pays $500 for windows
from which to view the Inaugural parade
Senator Hearst, $300 and Ira Davenport $160.
Little Josef Hofmann, the musical prod
igy, is studying in Berlin. He is in fine health
and has grown very tall since he left this coun
try. The news that the Dnke of Portland, the
only remaining eligible parti of his rank In
England, has become engagod to a British
maiden, will send a thrill of dismay through
the hearts of American mothers given to
Governor Beaver, of Pennsylvania, says
the New York TPorfct, is worthy of his name.
As Grand Marshal of the Inaugural parade ho
has worked bard, and his efforts baTe been im
peded by all kinds of petty annoyances. But
he was determined to have the parade a suc
cess, and It looks now as tnongh he had been
A very unpleasant surprise greeted Baron
von Plessen, the German Consul General at
Pestb, on his arrival at Vienna, where be had
gone to celebrate the birthday of William IL
at the German Embassy. "When his boxes
were unpacked all his orders wore missing.
After a long search they were discovered in the
shop of a "Vienna jeweler, to whom they had
been sold by a thief.
James Russell Lowell has just passed
his seventieth birthday. Dr. Holmes is hard
onto his eightieth. John G. Whitier is beyond
that period of life. The next generation of
American authors of 'distinction Is considera
bly below these in years.. It has got beyond
the period of promise, however, and thus It Is
ascertained that there is no Whittier, or
Holmes or Lowell in it.
In a certain small circle of journalists in
New York it is considered the smart thing to
treat death flippantly. The late Philip Welch
when he visited the Press Clnb for the last
time said: "1 have a piece of news for you.
The doctor says I won't live until March." It
turned out that the doctor was right, Caza
ran was In a similar fix, He took notes of his
condition and bet a friend of his S25 that he
would die In eight weeks. He lasted a week
longer than the time set. Mary Flake, another
journalist, told an editor that she hoped she
would die before her mother did. She was in
rpsy health at the time, but she was dead In a
What We Might Contribute.
From the New York Sun.1
There is talk at a Bismarck museum to be
founded at Berlin. The United States could
contribute some interesting relics, such as a
plaster cast of the Chancellor's ancient enemy,
the American bog, and a sketch 'of Mr.'Cleve
land's expired Samoan policy. '
OLIVE tOQABjS LETTEB,
Preildsntal Weather Fascination of Cur.
rent History The King u Dead, Lone
Llvo the King The Latest London
Frock A Poetic Conception.
rCOKKESrONJMNCE Or TBI DISPATCH.!
"Washington, March 2. It Is fortunate that
the Presldept-electknows' his Washington well,
else he might augur ill of the climate otthe
fairy city. That veracious weather prophet,
the ground hog, is reported by observers(usual.
ly scientists of the colored race), to have
emerged from his hibernal lair, taken bis
meteorological bearings and to have returned
to his covert with a series of grunts. These
portents, it appears, indicate a resumption of
hostilities on tho part of the weather. A nip
ping and an eager air greeted the new Presi
dent on his arrival, and when all Nature
should be courtly and kindly, lol a bombard
ment of hall cannons to right ot us, cannons
to left of usl The clerk of the weather must
make a different kind of arrangement before
long. We want President's weather, just as
the English expect Queen's weather on days
when Her Most Gracious undertakes any Im
portant outdoor function.
How to repeat the thousand and one on
dits which circulate from honse to house! I
foresee, and give you fair warning, that the
note of nonsense which will be struck by topic
less correspondents, by purveyors of vapidity,
will be anent the grandchild of the President,
"Baby McKec." Already all Washington
knows that a little white wicker chair, enlaced
with blue ribbons, and a miniature writing
desk, the property, presumably, of theafore-i
said baby, have arrived in Washington, and
will in all probability be conveyed in due
course of time from the Arlington Hotel.whlch
now houses them, to the Executive Mansion,
It is obvious that our latter-day historians
affect Macaulay rather than Gibbon,
Macaulay, when he set ont to write his
famous history, said that while his work
should be as veracious as mortal man could
bring forth In hlstory.nevertheless he Intended
that it should be as full of fascination as a
fairy tale. The Macaulays of to-day, if they
may not achieve veracity, are bond to ring in
the fascination. Poor Garfield's debut as a
President was mado picturesque.by bis kiss to
his aged mother. Cleveland's marriage and
the wonderful social success of his pretty wife
have been the points of charm of his adminis
tration. Harrison stamps his entrance upon
tenure of his great office by handing a baby
out of the carriage before be descends himself.
This gracef nl act endows the man with a won
derful fascination for every mother inHhe
Wnltlnc for Bis Cue.
Adverse criticism of the arrangement by
which the President was taken off the train
and driven quietly and unrecognized to his
hotel only betrays lack of savolr faire on the
part of the carper. It must be remembered
that until certain ceremonies have been per
formed at the Capitol on Monday Mr. Harrison
is not officially otherwise than he has been; to
wit, a private citizen. I can scarcely fancy any
thing more indecorous than a President-elect
making a triumphal entrance into the National
Capital, amid shouts of a populace lining the
roadways, waving of flags, tossing up of hat?,
etc Even that French courtier, who brilliantly
started a political cry on its journey down the
eons, was decent enough to exclaim, "The King
is dead; long live the King!" He did not shout,
"The old hunks can't llvo much longer, let's
take time by the forelock by huzzaing for his
In theatrical parlance, Harrison is "behind
the scenes" yet. He has not had his cuo to
A Triumphal March
No doubt President Harrison will hear shout
ins: enoughoh bis winding way to the Capitol
on the eventful 4th. From the White House to
the green sward which spreads its emerald vel
vet beneath the windows of the Senate Honse,
there has been erected an almost continuons
line of staging. Should "President's weather"
prevail, these seats will doubtless be filled with
enthusiastic crowds. To Cleveland's ears, the
shouts of welcome will be the reverse of com
plimentary; and even for him who is about to
attain to this wonderful position, of power, the
occasion cannot fail to bring with it many sol
A Fashionable Wrinkle.
The social ball keeps rolling. Even as the
song of the dying swan is beyond its other
strains melodious, so the final routs of our
leaders of fashion surpass In splendor the most
gorgeous of heir predecessors. No new dish
this winter has whetted to fresh enjoyment the
jaded palates of the gourmets of Washington;
but the general "belief is that a feature of
fashion in the matter of ladies' dress has been
evolved this season from the inventive brain
of some talented home modiste, I allude to
the ornamentation of light colored evening
silks with bands of fur, a juxtaposition of ma
terials not hitherto seen in ballrooms. The
pink silk train trimmed with brown fur, worn
by. Mrs. Cleveland, has been vastly admired.
It was in this dress that the Ladles' Press As
sociation of Washington desired to have a por
trait In oils of the charming young wife of Mr.
Cleveland, to be hung in the White House; but
the project, for some reason, came to nothing.
Mrs. Paran Stevens, the fashionable New York
lady who is visiting Mrs. Whitney, has worn,
once or twice, a superb evening robe of dove
gray plush, trimmed with bands of the silver
fox fur. Even chinchilla is Jused for evening
wear, a torquoise velvet dress being specially
liked, trimmed with wide bands of the little
South American rodent.
A Borrowed Idea.
The idea is far from being new, as visitors to
the picture galleries of the palape of Versailles
can testify. In those noble balls ate bung por
traits of dead and gone beauties, whom the
brnshes of dead and gone painters show to have
been wont to enrobe them In evening dresses of
light silks or velvet", trimmed with far. And
who tpo that saw tho Duchess of Edinburgh,
only daughter of the Czar of all the Russlas, on
her first appearanceat the English Court, can
forget her queenly appearance In an imperial
train of crimson velvet, embroidered with gold,
studded with precious stones, and bordered
with uncountable yards of Russian sable?
A Poetic Frock,
Howsover costly and imposing an evening
qresstamined with fur may do it is by these
verji'tokons Improper wear for a maiden.
Nothing more truly pretty has been seen this
season in Washington &an a ball dress Im
ported from London. It is an embodied reali
zation of the swoet old song: "She worb a
wreath of roses on the night when first we
Ah, talk as you like about; the elegance, the
chic of Parisian costumes. Only in tcsthetic
London can a woman buy a frock with poetry
The "wreath of roses" dress is of rich brocade
flowered with roses. Artificial roses (wonder
fully natural looking) are closely set quite
around the bottom of tho skirt, around the
low bodice, around the short sleeves, around
the wearer's heck and arms, and, of course, as
a garland around her'head. Thus robed, the
lovely young wearer looks, like an emissary
from the perfumed reaimr of the Goddess
Flonuf Olive Logan.
A Wuliky Stomach Craves Water.
Philadelphia, March 2.-Jimmy Dojan, a
dwarf In the county jail at Belleville. N. J., for
overindulgence in whisky, has developed a sur
prising craving and capacity for water. He in
sists on having a gallon of water left in his cell
each night, and he drinks it all and wants more
before morning. Dnrng tho day he consumes
twice as much, and says be could swallow
double the quantity if it were given him. He
protests that hfe never before enjoyed such
health, but, the doctor s fearful of dropsy.
It Is Well He Never Does.
Fom the Norrlstown Herald. 1
How seldom a man, in his mad rush for
wealth and f ame.stops to think that the density
of a medium capable by its resistance of caus
ing a secular acceleration of half a second in
the mean velocity of the moon would corre
spond with a kllpgrammb of matter uniformly
diffused through a (pace of 390,000 square miles.
Andjet, when we come to. think about it, the
man's action does pot surprise us.
One of the Good Old Dames.
KUOXVILLE, TENN.,f March a Mis Re-
brated her tQ2d birthday to-day. She has killed
aTduIsyeulteheairb T PU
SBNDAT, " MKGHV'- 8;
BABI TO QU88 JNSOMKU.
A Connecticut Woman Find lee Water nn
Ansonia, Conn., March 2. There is a young
woman in Brookfield who is robust, perfectly
healthy and full of spirit, but for several
months she has been troubled with insomnia.
Try with all her power, and with her mind fixed
on it, she has been- unable to sleep, at least to
any extent She has consulted all the old
women in the neighborhood, taken tho advice
of each one, and followed it carefully and with
great patience, but could not find relief. She
has taken all the soporifics of the native phar
macopoeia without nmt: eaten crackers in bed;
counted thousands upon thousands; fixed her
mind upon some subject Intently, and kept it
there, bufwith no avail. She would not resort
to drugs, but tried walking to tire herself until
she got a reputation as a pedestrian, and her
cheeks were as red, her form as perfect, and
muscle as well developed as that ot an athletic
member of the New York Atbletlo Club.
Recently there came to work in the family a
Swedish woman, who, hearing of the young
woman's troub!e,,told her of a practise of the
people In her country who are similarly
afflicted. It was to take a napkin, dip it in Ice
Cold water, wring it slightly and lay It across
her eyes. The plan was followed audit worked
like a charm. Tho first night the girl slept four
hours without awaking, something silo had not
done for several months. At the end of that
time the napkin bad become dry. By wetting
it againjue at uucb went to sleep, ana it re
quired considerable force to rouse her in the
TUB DCDE'S LUCK.
Berry Wall's! BrotUcr Is Said to Have Left
Him $200,000 In Trust.
. 'New York, March 2. It was rumored about,
the hotel lobbies last ovenlng that E. Berry
Wall had come into another fortune. The size
of it was placed at $200000 and It comes, accord
ing to those who tell the story, from Beny
Wall's brother, William, who was-burled here
It is said that before his departure for the
Pacific coast William Wall spoke to members
of his family about his property and the ad
visability of leaving it to his brother. There
had been some . bad feelings between the
brothers, it is understood, bat the sick man
I- agreed to put aside all unfriendly thoughts and
inane me win in .uerry-s iavor, Anis was uc
cordinely done and the brother left for Cali
Exactly what the property is and on what
conditions it was left could not be learned this
evening. The opinion among Wall's friends
was that the legacy took the form of a trust
fund, and was so fixed that the principal of it
cannot be touched either by Wall or by his
He Congratulates the Country on the
Progress of Civil Service Reform.
Washington, March 2. The President to
day, In transmitting to Congress the report of
the Civil Service Commission, says:
The cause of civil service reform, which In a
great degree is entrusted to the commission, I
regard as so firmly established and Its value so
fully demonstrated that I should deem It moic
gratifying than useful if at this late day In tbe
tetElon of Congress I was permitted to enlarge
npon Us Importance and present condition.
A perutaf of tbe report herewith submitted will
furnish Information of the progress which has
been made durlntr tbe year to which It relates, In
the externum or the operation of this reform-and
In the improvement of Us methods and rules.
It Is cause'for congratulation that watchfulness
and care and fidelity to Its purposes are all that
are necessary to Insure to the Government and
our people all the benefits which Its Inauguration
The Curious Actions of a Look T.sland Young
Long Islan b City, March 2. There was an
exciting scene in a parlor car of a Long Island
Railroad train on its way here this morning.
Among the ocenpants of the car were Miss
Alice Smith, of Smlthtown, one of the heirs of
the late Mrs. A T. Stewart, her two uncles,
Richard and Du Bols Smith, and several
friends. When a short distance from Smith
town Miss Smith suddenly became deranged.
Conductor Schofleld was the only one who
seemed to have a controlling influence over
her, and she begged blm not to leave her. c
When Miss Smith and her companions
reached tbe New York terminus of the Thirty
fourth street ferry, she nefnsed to leave the
boat ajid the party were forced to retnrn
to Hunter's Point. She is 18 years old.
It is thought her uncles were taking her to
New York for treatment.
He Is Oluch Improved In Health, nud Leaves
Baltdi ore, March 2, Robert Garrett will
leave Ringwood on Wednesday next for Mexi
co, accompanied by Mrs. Garr6tt, Br. Jacobs,
two attendants, and several Intimate friends.
The party will go by the Erie Railroad, via
Hornellsville and Salamanca, making a short
tour of the States. Mr. Garrett's health is now
very much improved, and be Is able to take
short rides through tbe surrounding country
with pleasure and benefit. -
His old attendants who have been with him
during bis illness have been discharged and
two new men have been engaged, Mr. Garrett
having requested this, as be wishes new faces
NOW THEY WONT PLAT.
Some Angry Canadians Who Were Not
Asked to a Ball.
Ottawa, Ont., March 2, A great sensation
basbeen created in fashionable circles here
owing to the alleced blundering in issuing
tickets for the State ball on Monday. Some of
the oldest families have not receive'd invita
tions, although they have been going to the
Government House for over 20 years. Many
French Canadian members of Parliament have
been overlooked, and their colleagues of the
same nationality aro talking of staying away.
Hon. Wt Laurier, it Is stated, has been asked
to make representations of the case to tbe Gov
ernor General. Two thousand tickets were is
sued. Tho affair Is the talk of the town.
Translate Tlicin Into English First.
From the New York Sun. J
A Japanese novel is being translated into
English. For the sake of Japan, a friendly,
progressive,' and artistic nation, it is to be
hoped that some recent novels of passlonwill
not be translated Into Japanese, At least, not
untd they have first been translated Into En
A Forjjcr Courting Death.
MAcqN, Ga., March 2. John L. Adams, the
forger, who has been trying t starve himself,
is dying. For twelve days he refused to taste
food. He was then taken to his mother's
house, wherehewas Induced to suck an orange,
and then relapsed into tbe determination to
starve to death. Rev. J. R. Winchester has
been called In to see him.
CAUGHT ON THE GEIP LINE.
He put bis arm around her waist;
They were engaged.
He kissed her bright aud pretty face;
They were engaced. "
He felt her purse, it seemed quite flat,
He safd good night, and tipped his hat;
They're not engaged,
YALE Wo are better than you lrj Latin.
Harvard We don't care.
Yble We are better than yon in Greek.
Harvard We don't care. .
Yale-We can heat your ball nine.
Harvard You.'re a pack of liars and If we had
yon ou our campus we would punch your already
big heads, bigger
There is a Sbepard in New York that
never shears his flock. You know if he did he
couldn't poll the wool oyer their eyes by that lit
tle heading over his editorial column.
Young America Say. pop, may I smoker
Y. A. Say, pop, may I chew?
Pop No, you rascal.
Y, A.-Say, pop, may I drink?
Fop Yon young reprobate, of coarse yon can't.
V. A. Well, then, I won't go to the lnaugnra-,
Mat I take you to the ball?
No, 'US' Lent.
May I take yon then to call?
Io, 'tis Lent, , .
May I take you to the tea?
Fray, maiden, go with. me,
But she merely answered,
No, my boy, His Lent.
May I take yon to the play?
No, 'tis Lent.
May I walk with yon to-day? -
No, 'tis Lent.
May I take your heart away?
Fray, maiden say not nay,
m ope merely answered,
. , ' - Wo, my boytls ln,
' t .TS- 3 - rf V 0. V,
TgE TOPICAL TALKER. ,
The Inconsiderate Pleott Cheer for the
Tlaild-The eighteenth' PJoneera A Bit
of Reminiscence Democrats Never flay
The onlv men whom Picott thoroughly dis
gusted by blowing out his brains in Madrid are
the editorial writers who had prepared to
scarify him at length to-day.
Noroby should be discouraged or downcast
at the prospect for the inauguration if it
should rain to-day, for there is a venerable dis
. tlch to which the good country folk of Western
England tie their faith, which says;
"If it rains Sunday,
'Twill be fair Monday."
Beside, too many travelers to Washington have
borne tbither their umbrellas and rubber coats
to tempt the envious clouds to weep. Tho rain of
yesterday made many a man buckle on his bad
weather armor who would otherwise havo gone
to Washington without even an umbrella
And, still further. General Greely has solemn
ly whispered that he sees in the farrfar dis
tance a storm approaching to mako a christen
ing of the Inauguration. Monday ought cer
tainly to be fair.
The Eighteenth Regiment looked rather too
soldierly last night for comfort. Their rlcglng
suggested, a campaign of no little stress ahead,
as they tramped down to the cars turough the
drizzle and oyer swampy streets last night.
For tho first time tbe Eighteenth Regiment
had a pioneer corps just behind the band, and
the men detailed for thislionorable dnty with
their axes and pick and shovel stepped out
bravely enough. Before they get home tbe
pioneers may wish themselves back in the
ranks carrying tbe musket. But they will be
handy if the streets of Washington suffer very
much from the weather they can dig out the
band if it falls into a mud hole, for instance.
The streets of Washington, however, are not
the streets of Pittsburg, and such an emergency
is hardly likely to confront the pioneers.
Still another reader of this column con
tributes a bit of reminiscence concerning the
visits of General W, H. Harrison to this city.
Says tho gentleman, who is by the way, one of
ourmest respected merchants: "I remember
yery vividly the first visit of tbe elder Harrison
to this city, which was made iu!838, at the time
he first ran for the Presidency. 1 was only a
boy then, but can distinctly remember watch
ing the procession, of horsemen and carriages,
his escort from out beyond East Liberty, as
they passed along Penn street and over the old
canal bridge. A number of the boys on that
occasion procured quite a large toy cannon and
fired a salute in his honor from the .hillside
where the lower Bedford street basin is now
located. That must have been the occasion
Mr. Colllngwood alludes to when he says be
rode out on horseback to Wilklnsburg to
escort him to the city.
"General Harrison did not again visit tbo
city until after his election in November, 1810.
This visit was in tbe latter part of January,
18H, and when on his way to be inaugurated.
He was brought to the city by tbe steamer Ben
Franklin, one of the fastest steamboats, at that
time, on the Ohio river. As the boat landed he
stood on tbe hurricane deck of the boat and
bowed to the Immense throng of citizens who
gave him such a hearty welcome- He wore a
long clotb cloak, and to my eyes looked superb
ly grand and noble. He was escorted to the
Irons Hotel, where the St. Charles now stands,
and it was there he received the hand-sbaklng
of the citizens. I am sure of this for I, though
only a boy, was honored by a grasp of his
band. He stayed two or three days here and
on his departure he made quite a thrilling
speech to the military and citizens who were
present to escort him to tbe steamer which was
to take him to Brownsville.
Colonel Elijah Trovlllo, who had been with
him in his campaigns of 1812, was in command
of the military, and all our local military com
panies turned out to do him honor on that oc
casion, ' "His body was brought to tbe city in the fall
of 1841. It came by canal boat and was accom
panied by a small guard of United States sol
diers. Quite alarge funeral procession followed
the remains from the Leech canal basin to
tbe Water street wharf. I remember that the
escort of honor was composed of old surviving
soldiers of the war of 1812. tbe most prominent
of whom was Captain E. F. Pratt, a gentleman
well remembered by most of the older cit
izens." SoatERODY said in my hearing yesterday
that he conldnot understand how a certain
Democrat, who in the last campaign was a very
active opponent of General Harrison in his
own Btate, could have the face to make up a
party of friends of his own political color, to
have a jollification at Washington this week.
Evidently my friend has not a proper acquaint
ance with the elasticity and abounding re
source for cheerfulness that is to bo found in
the make-up of the average Democrat.
Below is a true history that may enlighten
In a certain city of the first class, which is
even more thoroughly Republican in its poli
tics than Pittsburg, "there was at the time the
campaign of 1880 started a Democratlo naws
paper, which enjoyed to tho extent ot its abil
ity, a monopoly of the Democratic readers In
the place. The chief editor ot this paper was
a Democrat to the very core; his principles in
politics were blazoned op every word he wrote,
and in his daly walk h? never allowed his loy
alty to his party to be hid for a moment. Inci
dentally, it may be remarked, that he took bis
It was a warm night when the news that
Hancock had been nominated on the Demo
cratic ticket reached that city. As
soon as the editor of the Demo
cratic paper beard the news, he took
up his hat and went out to view for him
self the enthusiasm which Hancock's nomina
tion he felt onght to evoke. But nary a shred
of enthusiasm could ho find. The fact was
that Garfield for good and sufficient reasons
was immensely popular with men of both
parties in that city. After wandering about
trying to find inspiration for a double-leaded
editorial yawp, and encountering none, the
editor returned to his lair.
He WAS 'still resolved to have enthusiasm.
He sent for the foreman of tbe composing
room, and the editors of the departments, and
told them to hie them with every man under
them to a saloon across the street. Presently
tbe entire force was gathered at the bar.
"Gentlomen, name you beverage; tbe drinks
are on me: hnrrah for Hancock," shouted the
editor-in-chief to the crowd. Not a man; not
even a proof-reader, refused. As soon as the
first round had moistened the dry throats it
was a very warm night another was ordered,
and another and another.
Enthusiasm came quickly. It might have
stayed longer if tbe liquids had pot poured over
the bar so fast. But for an hour or two the
police were within an ace of arresting every
body in tbe meeting. .The bar-room gave way
to the street at last. The editor, mounted on a
beer-barrel, delivered a terrific oration to the
crowd. Then he fell into the gntter, and the
audience for the most part did the same.
Everybody but the foreman of the composing
room was unconscious he was crazy.
Tbe paper came out next day about half its
usnal size all that bad been set before the
era of enthusiasm set id. But the entire popu
lation know that Hancock's nomination had
been celebrated in tremendous style, without
an editorial on tbe subject.
THE POPE'S ANNIYEE3ABI,
His Holiness Is In Splendid Health and
Rome, March 2. To-day was the seventy
ninth anniversary of the birth of the Pope. He
received a number ot cardinals who tendered
their comrratulations. The Pone, reolyiue to
'the cardinals, said it was impossible for him in
me present position oi me jrapacy w yciiuiuv
his duties as tbe head of the church in an inde
pendent manner Se complained of the delay
in the granting of the royal exequaturs to the
Italian otsbops,and said his appointments were
subjected to scrutiny.
He referred to tbe oppressions of the new
penal code and the suppression of tbe funds of
the fraternities. His holiness was in splendid
healthjind spoke vigorously.
Railroad Difficulties la Fern,
Lrjf'A, Pehu, March 2. Owing to damages
done to the Oroya Railroad by .unprecedented
storms and floods near its terminus, 100 miles
fromhere, trafSo to Chlcla will be suspended
for six months. It will be. impossible during
that time to export ore and bullion from most
of the mines in that district.
L THEY. ABE NOT TET BEADY.
Our . Northern Neighbors Have Decided
Opinions on Commercial Union.
'Toronto, Match 2.-Heferrinr to Congress
man Hitt's resolutions in fayor of commercial
union,, the Empire, the leading Government
'organ, saysi, "The United States, by their
House of Representatives, have graciously In
vited Canada to become part of tbe Union,
commercially, or, rather, they have intimated
that if Canada will offer to sacrifice Its inde
pendence. Congress will kindly accept the sur
render. Their proposal is to make one country
from the Mexican frontier to the North Pole,
with the same customs tariff and same excise
duties, the receipts being equitably alvided.
At the same time Canada Is to make a tardy
declaration of independence from tbe British
Empire in the vory practical manner
of placing our present fellow-subjects in the
position of foreigners, levying duties on their
goods, while bt course there Is to bo a free ad
mission of goods coming from every part of
the Union, which will then practically include
Canada. They-will wait a long time before
they find Canada debasing itself by becoming a
supplicant for its absorption by a foreign
power. The resolutions, however, will have
their use, for they will show plainly to
Canadians the fate prepared for them by these
tutors ot Mr. Laurier and Sir Richard Cart
wright." The Montreal Herald, independent, says:
"This shows that our neighbors are beginning
to understand the folly ot restricting trade be
tween Canada and the United States. They
have not quite got tho proper idea, but as a
step in the right-direction the resolutions are
important. The next thing should be a resolu
tion to provide for a joint .commission to ar
range a treaty of unlimited reciprocity. That
will come when Canada has a government that
really desires it."
The Gazette, Government, says: "The
adoption by the lower branch of Congress of
Mr. Hitt's resolutions may ultimately mark an
important advance in tbe progress of this move
ment. It is now, however, matter for surprise
that the resolutions should have been approved
by Congress. We have always thought it like
ly that the United States would show itself
friendly to commercial annexation as a pre
liminary to political annexation.
The utterances of tbe press and of public
men on the other side of the line have favored
a Joint tariff controlled and regulated at Wash
ington. The Incoming administration will sur
prise no one If it displays an itching palm to
ward Canada and holds out the bait of commer
cial union to wheedle or lure the Canadians
into a position of dependency on the bounty of
Washington, than which political nnion itself
would bo more tolerable to many people. But
to Infer that tbe passage of the Hitt resolu
tions has any greater significance than an
avowed desire on the part of -;ur neighbors to
place us under bondage to them would be ex
tremely foolish. Tbe Conservative party of
Canada will assuredly reject the proposition,
and the Liberal party will be compelled to
take a similar course."
A TBA1N OP GOOD THINGS.
Croquettes, Salads and Other Rich Edibles
to Be Sent to Washington.
From Saturday's Philadelphia Becord.
Hotel-keeper Boldt was astounded last night
when he received a letter upon which was a
skull and cross-bones and the warning that an
army of half-starved tramps were going to de
rail his special train, which left last night for
Washington with all the tons of provender that
will be fed to the huugry throng at the inaugu
ration ball, but he was restored to his normal
condition, when a party of sympathizers In
formed him that there would bo a gatlinggun
company on the cow-catcher of tbe engine to
frustrate any such diabolical attempt. Now
that all the arrangements have been completed
Mr. Boldt is thankinz his stars. He has erect
ed, within the past few days, in tbe rear ot the
Pension Department building, at Washington,
an edifice 200 feet long, which is as complete in
Its appointments as any modern hotel kitchen.
He will be given from Saturday noon until
Tuesday morning to occupy the premises, and
he says he will have to hustle to get out in
In the kitchen there are 100 electric lights,
six steam boilers, large store rooms and accom
modations for over 100 people. There will be
300 servants of all kinds in the place, including
15 chefs. 10 head waiters and 23 cooks, besides
all the dishwashers and other subordinates.
A special train of four cars left for Washing
ton at 11 o'clock last night, carrying all tbe
croquettes, salads and game, and about 40
kitchen hands. All the waiters will leave for
Washington to-day. Mr. Boldt discovered u
few days ago that he would need two carloads
of bread, and he found that he could not hire
enough teams in tVashington to take them to
the banquet ball in time. Consequently he
chartered a number uf bakers' ovens in Wash
ington, and all tbe bread will be baked in that
city. There will be 20,000 pieces of china in
use during tbe banquet.
WALKEB WILL THINK IT 0YEE.
Perhaps He Will be President of the New
New York; March 2. The committee ap
pointed by tbe new interstate association,
known as tbe President's Association, to ten
der tbe position of Chairman of the association
to Colonel A. F. Walker, were in conference
during tbe whole of this afternoon, in the
Windsor Hotel. Besides Colonel Walker,
three members of tbe committee were present,
being President Hughitt, of the Chicago ana
Northwestern Railroad: General John McNuIta,
of Bloamtngton, 111., Receiver of the Wabash
Railroad and Mr. C. Mullin, Vice President of
the Chicago and Alton Railroad. The fourth
member of the committee, Mr. Roswell Miller,
President of the Chicago, Milwaukee and St.
Paul Railroad, was prevented being present by
At 5,30 it was announced that after the sub
ject was discussed in all Its bearings with
Colonel Walker, that gentleman said he would
take a week or ten days to consider the offer
and would let the committee know his decision
at the end of that time. Tbe pew association
Includes 20 railroads west, northwest and south
west of Chicago.
THE FISDEEi QUESTION.
Canada's Conservative Government Is Still
Ottawa, March 2. In the Canadian Parlia
ment last evening Hon. L. H. Davis spoke in
favor of Mr. Lander's motion to continue in
force for another year the modus vivendl and
advocating closer trade relations with tho
United States. Sir John Thompson, Minister
of Justice, followed. After justifying the
policy of the Conservative Government In the
fishery question during the past SO years, he
spoke of the policy of moderation adopted In
1SS5 to bring about an amicable settlement.
The stories that Canada hadpnt unwarranta
ble interpretation on the treaty of 1818 were
false. It was in fact the same interpretation
put npon it by the provincial governments and
backed up by the guns of England for 70 years.
Earl Rogeberry, when Mr. Phelps complained
of the harshness of the enforcement of Its pro
visions, said It was perfectly fair. He con
trasted the fishery policy of the Liberals three
years ago, with their talk of government, brag,
blow and bluster. Sir Richard Cartwright re
plied. The resolution was defeated, by 43 ma
jority. AN INSTANTANEOUS CUBE.
A Blow from nn Express Train as q Remedy
Nex York, March 2. A jury In the Supreme
Court, before Judge Icgrabam. yesterday gavo
Harshaw Scott a verdict for 114.000 damages
against the Pennsylvania Railroad Company
for injuries sustained about a dozen years ago.
As Mr. Scott was about to cross tbe tracks of
the company at Rahway, N. J., early one
morning, the Washington express train Jcamo
along and Struck him. He was caught up by
the cowcatcher and when taken off his arm
and leg were found to be broken. His arm has
never been right since and the leg is several
Inches shorter than tbe other. He sned the
company to recover $23,000 damages. The com
pany, among other defenses, tried to prove
that he had not been very badly hurt and that
tbe shock be received had cured htm of tbe
asthma, from which he bad been a great suf
ferer. Real Value In Art.
From the New York 'World.1
The discovery that the alleged crayon by Rosa
Bonheur, sold in the Stebbins collection for
$725, Is nothing more than a touched-np photo
graph, furnishes an interesting comment on
the critical acumen of connoisseurs. This pic
ture hung for years in a gallery where it con
stantly met the view of persons versed in art,
and subsequently was publicly exhibited to
thousands of possible buyers by the Art Asso
ciation. Not until after it bad been knocked
down to the highest bidder at the price men
tioned above was its character suspected.
Now it is known to be practically worth notb-
Jng. After, all, what does real value in art con
sist or .
Can't be Postponed Much Longer.
From the New York World. J
Although he is not a professed medium, Mr.
Harrison's great Cabinet mystery hag never
been exposed. But. the exposure cannot be
postponed raucn longer,
Joseph Whitcher, a veteran hunter of
to..... r it feoan nvAnl of 42 bears killed.
An 8-year-old lad. Blchard' Jreeman, r
of St. Louis, while trying to see how long ho (
could hold his breath, burst a'blood. vessel, and
a few moments later died.
A Toledo woman, who has twice been
divorced from the same man, married blra two .
weeks ago for tbe third time. Altogether she
has been married six times to three men. ,
There is only one prisoner is thja-u,of -
Hughe county, Dakota, and be wouleVhe
promptly released if it was not necessaryto
keep the insurance good by having somebody
In the jail. J
Electric power has been utilized in the'
Galician forests to fell trees. The work Is done
by means of a drill, operated by an electrlav
motor monnted on a carriage, which U brought , -np
close to the tree and shackled to it ' ' v"'
There is living near Sagamore, Maw., a e-?
family that occupies a farm that is said to havs tfl
been handed down from father to son for six K
eeueraiion. When the father ot mis line,,"
Thomas Tupper, settled on the land in 1G24, the
i..3 iniia an inaian village Known as onanm.
The body of a man found hanging to a
tree in Missouri had this card pinned to It: "I
die because I am too durned lazy to live. It
the rest of you feel as I do you wfllletma
bang here until my bones drop of their own ao-"
"The curfew tolls the knell" no more ia
Mons. From this week forth the enrfew bell
will cease to be rung at II o'clock. It is be- ,
lieved tbat Mons is the last town in Belgium fi
to have kept up this ancient way of warning -jg
the citizens to retire to bed. .J
The Gatling Company's new factory ia f
England can turn out 3,000,000 cartridges a '-'
week, and L00O machine guns a year. Thirteen
hundred is the full complement of employes,
and the comnanv. which has secured from Thi .
'Gatllng tho right to supply the Eastern heml- ,
spnere witn nis guns, 13 aireaay negotiating
with nearly all the Govemmentsof Europe and
Prof. Shaler, of Harvard College, who
has given mnch thought to a scheme for pro
viding the necessities of college life at the
lowest possible price, has, with some other
instructors, organized the "Economic Club,"
which will provide board sor S3 60 a week, and
textbooks and other things at low prices.
About 100 students have decided to go Into the
They tell of a cat in Lee county,
Georgia, which actually committed suicide.
Her kittens were drowned, and she went about
for hours in great grief; then, climbing up on
tne corocrib, she stuck her bead through a
crack, and moving along until she came to a
narrow place In the crack, let go with her
claws, and hanging, slowly choked to death,
without a struggle or any effort to save herself. ,
The tell of a Judge in Bennington, Vt.,
who, having spoken of buying a safe, was inter
viewed by two rival agents, each of whom had
so much to say in favor of his own particular
safe that the Judge was quite at a loss to de
cide which to buy. In a happy moment he
thought of Burglar Price, whom he had himself
sentenced, and going to the jail be obtained
this expert safo breaker's opinion and then
gave tbe order.
A curious novelty'will be introduced in
Washington during the inauguration to help a
man find his cab In the wilderness of the
vehicles. A stereopticpn screen will be erected
on one ot tbe corners of the building, and
when a gentleman desires his carriage he will
give bis number to the operator, who will flash
it ont where all the hackmen can see lb If the
line is too long and complicated, messenger
boys will be stationed at Intervals to repeat the
A fish story, which makes up for any
inactivity there has been of late In that line of,
literature, is furnished by a Bangor. Me., paper.,'
Here it is: Two fishermen at Pusbaw Lake
who baited a line with shiner and put it
thronghthe ice. noticing a great commotion
presently, took it from the water, when it was
found tbat a white perch weighing abont half
a pound had first swallowed the bait, and then
an enormous pickerel bad swallowed both tha
perch and its prize.
Last spring a lady living on Mount
Bowdoin found 17 four-leaved and 1 six-:
leaved clover, all on one plant. It was growing
on rocky soli, and Bhe pulled It up. took it
homo and set it out in her garden. It flourished j
but did not increase in size. tberoot3 refusing"
to spread. All summer it bore four-leaved
clover, and in tbe autumn it wa3 transplanted
in a small boxand taken indoors. Since tbat
time it has bore S7 four anJ a dozen five-leaved
Mrs. Bichard Perkins, of Boston, ha
presented to tbe Bostonlan Society a threes .--page
letter that John Hancock wrote from Lou-,
don on Marcb 2, 17G1, to the Rev. Daniel Per-)
kins, of Bridgewater. In it Hancock said: "E
shall with satisfaction bid adieu to this grand)
place, with all its pleasurable enjoyments, for
tbe more substantial pleasure I promise myself 1
in the enjoyments of my friends In America.
The greatest estate in England would
be but a poor temptation to me to spend my
days here." 1
An Ohio newspaper tells this story) ,
abont Horace Porter, son of the General. &
When he was In Princeton College (he gradn
ated in the class of '87) he was ill for somai ?
days. While he was stretched out on a couch, x
In his room there came a rap at tbe door.
"Who's there?" he shouted. "It' me, Dr. Mo
Cosh," was the answer In a hard Scotch Drogue,,
"You're a liar," replied Porter, who really
tbongbt it was a classmate. "If it was Dr. Mo.
Coili, he wonld say. 'It is L'" There was no
answer to this but the shuffling of feet down,'
the corridor. Y'oung Porter ran to the door,
cautiously opened it, looked down the ball,
and saw the back and tall, stooped form of Dr.1
McCosh disappearing. The President of Prince,
ton never spoke of the incident; nor did Porter'
until be bad bU sheepskin.
The estate of Miss Catherine Peirson, of
Richmond, Mass.. has been inventoried, and
has pjoved a great and pleasant surprise to her
relatives. She was thought to be rich, but no
one supposed that she was possessed of a pen
sonal estate of almost S0OO.0CO, nearly all ia
Government boniv. bank aud first-class rail
road stocks. Among her household goods and
apparel were 60 bonnets, datinc back as. many
years; 70 shawl. some of them ery valuable,
and SCO small glass vials that had some
time contained medicine, bnt were now empty
and wrapped In wbite tissue paper and packed
away. There was also a surprising collection
of silks and satins. Miss Peirson was one of
the noted characters of tbe county, andalwaya
attracted much attention at tbe cattle show,
Which she annually attended, dressed elabor
ately and wearing many diamonds.
An Impromptu Cider Press. Mrs. Honk
son Whad's yo cMUern dola' down dar?
Her Oldest Pop's done fell down star's wlva
bush'l ob apples, an' Pete an' l's gettln' drink.
Photographer (losing patience) I tell,
yon once more, k)n't look so glum I Will you
Kentncktan (getting out of the chair) Thanks,
stranger, I don't keer If 1 do.
An Unfortunate Query. The Good Mis
slonarr We have with us this evening Mr. Sing
ing Coyote, who will describe the great wrong)
that have been piled on bis tribe.
Tbe Bad Boy Is he go!n ter say anythln"
Ambiguous. "Doctor, how do you findj
ypur patient to-day?"
"Ob, Mr. Ransom is no worse."
"I)o you anticipate a fatal result?"
"Mrs, Ransom, my medicine has never yet
failed to do its work."
No Surf There. Miss Lazare "What is'it,
papa.' , ,
Mf. Lazare The catalogue says 01d beech near
Miss Lazare Well, of all nneieltlns nlscesta
bathe I ever saw. that mnrt ha thA wrr tame3t. I ?
True as Gospel. Lemuel I tell you mens
may prate as they will abont woman's extrava J
ranee, bnt she can dress well on a sum that woulq
aeep amau looEing shabby. A
Sluicoe (dryly) That's true. Now, the sum that I
my wife dresses oa keeps me lookmg shabby yeajl
In unil T. nnt Vt2
The Lady-Birds in suits of gray
And modest dun appear: ,
Their mates tricked out In plumage gar
Flaunt color far and near. "? ja
But look from tenants of tbe air
j; of piuauerea lea.uer vs;l
Hweet woman's bonnet nil.
And all in sober raiment dlght . A,
The male-bird foots the bill, JTtrj
"What's in a name? Hcstew IfftUJ
What have yon brought to read? ' l;i
New Arrlval-"Eaen." n
jnorns What uitaDoutr -i i
NCw Arrival-It's a story of New York ieeMy.
Chores-Well! I call It abominable. Hose
a pretty neck and shoulders why skselaa't tm
wear a low dress. I'm -jjTJ
a ew Arrival jui "ucdui girl's mb tM
uiHUiuei, i.. - -?.i-i
?, Chorns-Ohl 'SriW '
(They go Into session with a sigh ofMsfeC)? "
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