I —n——— A Modest Man's Adventure, If there is ove thing in this world that I hate more than another it is an evening party, wheiher it take the form of tea, music, and twaddle, or come in the more awkward guise of a regular dance. Unfortunarely, I am short and ill-favored. Indeed, I can well remember even now the rage and grief which possessed my youthful mind when I discovered that I was called “The Toad” by my school com- panions, and how that our old coach~ man, who was my ally and confident in those days, cuuld find no better words of consolation than “Never you mind, Master Jack; you let em talk, a pack of young impertinences. What I say is ’'andsome is that 'andsome does.” Time has but accentuated my many personal detects, of which I am pain fully conscious, and the result is that I am shy, gauche and nervous in society. One fell and dreadful day (mark it O Time, with the blackest letter in thy calender) [ was invited by my cousins to escort them to a dancing party at South Kensington. I made feeble excuses; they were overruled. I appealed to my respected mother; | alas! she thinks I only need bringing out to become an entertaining orna- ment to society. Well, I gave in. What would you | have me to do? Ugly as I am, I can’t help seeing that Kate is a most pleasing person. 1 find it difficult to say “No” to any one, and an impossi. bility in the case of this lovely cousin of mine. Kate and Millicent are what are called “fine girls,” and I am not sure | that I did not catch the ghost of a grin upon the long list of flunky faces in the hall as I stumbled along in my | tight boots, with Kate on my rigs | arm and Millicent on my leli, and | both of them talking to one another over my head, alas! The and IDUSICIALS were ballroom was a posite to the end where the! PI 14} staliCned Lhere was a kind of alcove or bay window, in Rial . £ so) Hic w ¢ those large | h was placed on circular ottomans which have a cual yned seat all round, and unge a receptacle whicl foliage, plants and drooping Now, could anything be more enticing ng dis- g to a mao of my * If 1 could retiri pos tion that happy ottoman, fully concealed until t M to @ should resting place. Fortun ipper arag me fa . MM 3f a for once. But just as ning to realize the pleasantness of 1 + ] H Red BUG LUE Tells «101 ness which assails me in pu HC a most depressing sleepiness creeping | | I must have slept soundly for some | Over n ie, time, but at last, suddenly, and with | a startled and chilly feeling, I awoke. | K, Confused at first I could not imagine where | was or how my sleeping attire had become ordinary changed into the clawhammer coat and other male habiliments of « veuiog However, as I crept round the otto’ society. J man, and peering out from my corner, stretch of white floor cloth, dimly lighted, before me, and marked the music stands at the other end of the room, the dreadful truth saw a wide barst in upon me ; they had all gone | down to supper. Now in my purtur bation at the prospect of going to the abominable dancing party I had been | unable to attack my dinner with my usual robust appetite. I was there fore, ravenously hungry. Moved by a desire to eat and drink at whatever cost to my constitational modesty, and agonized at the fear least the supper should be over and debris thereof cleared away before I could obtain what [ began to want with an! increasing craving, it struck me that it would be quite possible for me to | glide into the supper-room among the servants, who would be constantly geing in and coming out. I slipped quietly down the stairs, ead soon found myself close to them. Now was my opportunity, and I was just going to seize it, when a fiend in human shape, a waiter in evening daeee, pushed a hugh dish of straw- berries into my hands, saying in that uspronounceable ocockmey ‘wang, “now then Bwancy, (my mother calls my hair auburn) look alive; Take those yere strawberries round and said a long and cadaverous waiter | food which bis words opened out i at {for I to {is mige.” | here all night ! | et pinned on in a convenient Not a single minutes time was given me for expostulation or explanation; other waiters were passing on behind and before I could gather my seatter. ed wits I found myself inthe brilliant ly lighted supper room, among the hired waiters and with an enormous dish of fruit in my hands. What was [todo? Thad nota momentto de cide, The horror of being seen in such a too:ridiculous position terrified me, and I found myself handing rou.d the fruit, with a waiter following me the with cream and sugar. Imagine awful state of my mind when I ap: | proached my cousins! They were close together, separated only by the partner of one of them. I could sees as I drew near, that they were talking vivacious;y. The gentleman beside Kate said, “No, thanks,” Bless him! Kate him without looking up. Millicen, allowed friend to place some her her etrawberries on of relief I passed on my strange round unrecognized, No questions asked, and not knowing what to do, I followed them or rather, went with them, to the kitchen part of the man. | sion, leaving one or two in the supper room to attend on the gentleman who remained there, “Now its our turn to get a blowout to me, a8 we went down stairs side by side, sight of them swells a bustin selves, and the smell of the viltles "as the ‘ind leg of a dog raw.” I quite agreed with my gen: leman, | i construed and painful as my position was [ felt somewhat cheered at the prospect of me, “Well,” at length said my ing a sigh of repletion, and causually 1 picking his teeth with a for, “ball | can say is I done myself werry well, | | aud 1'ope you "ave, too young man ekittles, as the sayin’ is. Been this trade? I aint sure if I've seed your face afore.” ‘N ever had of the ki long , 821d 1, “this is the first nd. “Well said he, “yer might di trying vou ki lo, matey 1” FPO Ww what y uve pg Ri DY Compania id I, “I can’t say “Wi ‘ere at the bar and t look vere." said he aKes from the gents aud calle bers on the 'eaps and ‘a pers an ceterer to me ; t to rent a | K AVE No trouble Just then the exod “Here, ter, No. 21: lo that: the brown coat (A clink ve, sir” from my wa frips rienda [ tell you” (to me): “can’ Clumsy idiot” (under his | he quick, Don’t keep me waitin "ars {1 a ‘Got a Hght waite: | Thanks,” and so forth. | was trying lin a confused sort of way, in the midst | of the hubbab, to think how I should get out of it all, when I got sight of my topgear, with ite appropriate tick: corner: Just then I fancied I my cousin Kate's voice, and “Where on earth can Jack have hid. den himself, Millie / It is too bad of him.” Desperately I snatched up my bat and cost, and before my fellow: dis: penser, in his utter astonishment, had time to cry out “stop thief?” I was over the bar, down in a trice; and seated in the farthest corns of my sunt’s carriage. I need scarcely add after this woeful experience and after | my | otehr | escort, and society has lost an orna: ne torture of those hours, that cousins have had to find some ment (7) in the person of Mr, John de Is Roche Brown.—English Paper. «Christian Dean of Renovo, died on Friday last, of typhoid «fever, and the funeral took place on Monday, Mr, Dean was an engineer and the hero of a railroad collision in 1880, when with his leg firmly jammed against the red hot boiler of the engine, he was found with hammer and chisel endeavoring to re- lease his companion, Edward Nixon, who was in a less periless ition then himself, It was the act of a brave, un- solfish and devoted man, and will be long remembered to his honor. Relig- ious services were held in the Presby- terian church at 9 o'clock this morning after which the remains were taken on mind you don’t spill 'em.” day express to Harrisburg for inter ment. — Lock Haven Democrat, It was their turn next- | refused | | ceive to prosperous rural plate, talking | eagerly all the time; and with a sigh | ornemnt | actual and for the purpose of “I dunno ‘ow you feels, but the | ‘them: | " | but the residence must last at least « made we that 'uogry as I could eat | to | long | $0; friend leaning back in hisjebisr, heav: distinguished | soon I] | caught the words, unmistakably hers : | GOVERNMENT LANDS. TWO WAYS BY WHICH FREE HOMES | MAY BE ACQUIRED. Provisions of the Homestead Laweilow Land May be Acquired by Timber Cul- | ture KatrysRights of Honorably Dis charged Soldiers. Government lands are available for free homesteads in Alabama, Arkansas, Arizona, California, Colorado, Dakota, Florida, Idaho, Kansas, Louisiana, Michigan, Minnesota, Mississippi, Missouri, Montana, Nebraska, Nevada, New Mexico, Oregon, Utah, Wash ington, Wisconsin and Wyoming. Texas has no free lands, When she won her independ ence, at the saber’s point, her domain be came abwolutely her own, and when the com- pact of ‘uni with the other formes she retained her proprietorship, lands of Alaska are not open to settlement, and no title to any of them, save such nar rowed and uncertaly interests as may be de rived from old Russian grants, ean be ob tained. There is a fiction that vacant lands remain untaken in Indiana and Hine ix, but it has no m states was The SOLO foundation quarter sections may be found in re of lown, Within the vast publi found every variety of soll and climate, | every condition which men regard as condu life. The opportu nity for choice is almost unlimited Free homes may be a quired from the gov. domain by tries in two ways home stead and by timber culture en tion, while the second is available only in The homestead law enables actual settlers to secure title to not the prairie countries more than 100 acres each, provided the home steader be 21 yoars old zr the kb become a citizen, The settlement must be vation live on the land, and must continue his residence ther for five years without {intermission HONORABLY six months after entry begin to DISCHARGED § DIERS, [ I If the settler has served in the army or navy of the United States, and honor the period of such seruice is the five years of residence, oer ne Your Boldiers discharged because « itled to de the entire wk raising and ounds are ent Inet enlistment, St tivation ne foes for homestead entries y are: In Als rida, lowa, Kans gan, Minnesota, Kebraska, land within the lin road grant, for 160 acres, $18 for 40 acres, $7: land ion is made, cota, Fl ir outside t of a railroad grant, railroad gr for 80 acres, $11; for 40 "II only wish,l 'ad a go in like this} | hevery day; but life aint sl] beer and | i» $548 ’ and f Indian territory 1ifferent torritc exclusive The acres of land for the benefit funds when the arena 5.000 000 tna, ries also on vy shall become & will be futher increased by . which is now salt marshes, but which can from the sas. Several million acres reserve ROT Tes be recovered added to the free domain through forfeitures | of railway granta. The lands of Alaska are of uncertain availability, but that will afford at least 50 000 000 a of modified cultivation tions are choice farming wm res SU wptible The Indian reserva i and the Areas reserved to the territories partake of all | haractoristion of the regions Chicago Nows the CArY WwW which they lie in Scotch Staves of Inebiriety The 8 whisky drinkers, but it is not staff 5 of comes over “twenty falls." The only two stages of inebriety with a regular Scotch whisky soaker of the lower order is to get first “greetin’ fou” and finally “blin’ f« anglice, “orying drunk” and “blind drunk.” At the first stage he will sit down and sob by him wif, probably about the death of his grand. father, and in the last stage be les helpless in the corner, To get in these two stages for the smallest expenditure, and at the same time drink good whisky, i= the object of all soakors «New York Commercial Advertiser tch are nothing if they ars bt good the ad got bore, in ” "i Strategy of the Impecunious, “You must do a fot of fishing nowadays,” sald a friend to an impecunious acquaintance with a fishing basket slung over his shoulder, “Well, you sew, it's just this way: My clothes are getting kind of seedy looking, and when | pack this ereel around folks think I've put on my old clothes to go fishing.” San Francisco News Lotter, The | were | first of these ways is general in its aj plica ad of a | family and a citizen of the United States, or | one who has legally declared his intention to of their | These | will also be | possession | rated | the water 1s mde | LADIES! Are you reckless enough to venture v If no send two cents in stamps to the Mack Publishing Co., 534 and 03) Washington Street, New York, for ! one of thelr beautiful {lustrated *¢ Ladies’ Hooks.” Itisa novel, unique, and interest ing work to every person of refinement On receipt of ten cents in stamps they will send postpaid a full set of thelr famous house. hold gave Verba. For ten centre they will also send a book containin complete words of “The Mikado,” and music oA its most popular songs, together with ten exquisite chromo cards, QUINEPTUS! A very plensing, harmless glyeyrrhized aromatic compound for disguising the taste of quinine snd other bitter drugs, either solid or luld, Pries, 76 Cents per Pint Bottle, Prescribed by thousands of physicians in Europe snd America, Fe ia so companions every bottle, For Sale by Druggists, Manufactured by The Academic Pharmaceutic Co,, LONDON AND NEW YORK, 532536 WASHINGTON 8T.,, NEW YORK CITY. rin ROYAL ELIXIR. An elegant English pharmaceutic preparation for bilious, malarial and blood troubles ; the re eult of over twenty five years of most eminent scientific research Approved by the highest medical authorities, Ln use in the hospitals in every part of Europe, Especially helpful to ladies, children and peo ple of sedentary habits Entirely vegetable ; free from harmful druge In Handsome Packages, Price 50 Cts. ~ Prepared solely by : The Royal Prasmacentic Co. LONDON AND NEW YORK, Chemists by appointment to Her Majesty the Queen and to the Royal Family NEW YORK BRANCH : 130, 132, 134 Chariton St. ROYAL PILLS. Bame medicinal properties as Roar Evrxos, in boxes, 5 pills to box, for 25 centa FOR SALE BY ALL DRUGGISTS. REMEMBER THE BIG FOUR! { delicious | Vinegar Bitters CORDIAL, | “5cio™ | soe, Vinegar Bitters POWDERS, 0 doses, 50¢, Vinegar Bitters, new style, | POS | 43 00 Vinegar Bitters, oid style, bitter taste, $1.00 The World's Great Blood Purifier and Life Glving Principle. Only Temperance Bitters Known, The past fifth of a Century the Leading amily Medicine of the World R. H. McDonald Drug Co., Proprietors, BAN | CISCO asp NEW YORK. ME PATENT NMUEN A CO of the BOIEXTIFIC AMER Unge Lo act as © ' for } + Marks, Coprr Frac, savings and int «t Mm. Rpecimen oopy of the Selenrifie t free Address MUNN A CC Sg AMERICAN OMe, 2] Broadway, New York dd | ’ Ay TR h * vem $Honva Ew Sq Faw ey CWE) YC AR op FAV ILINONES panos § SRT IW NONME OOF Sav AR 1 Baw Le fq peered depend WNOY LR det | soir aur Mew AW eg a0) eae ’ " i Dod waImUNLY SNe] a O00) ITEMOD IRON ATHENS AMYLEONTIOA HdSOHd S32 lost avy quia me ‘erwydeson. oa oa 3 et Boh sad 8 01 IP WOU] QUOM perEEIiNG SP I adetim “fiat ame x pon : 2% SHI IV 11 Men seeq savy | peu £0 ee NK Raom nav TIVE Wan 30 1%eeq wee) Aiwa 4 £ ores of payryvia® aw am m7 ennbus puy * § S51 ses 0) Muee sao fu J] 3 e U ARKROOLNO "IVINOKLIST L "INVA 40K NI SNON OL ON0I3S STEN IOWP a 1 ePwas wey Bey wt siw Tra al MIRE “veal v) ewtow 05 1 4 WR fey § #9 109 ped og Mabe ut ange y-do. CR va f Y Lior * joy eon vd hot ils 1 } Spor wn FLY HASOHT C25 wr 4 wpuey I9% v jo Pe porno w Lote] awl) oe SPUR PLOW Seer y Lyd 13 PE Puiwe VWNOS ¥ HOON WOT JOLISGEE TE OW 8) Duo poo? wv speranite YN ae eR 3 JAY He wav H aa) te Paw sey at the Low Price of , ‘ Y $600 PER 4£ARE, Ritnated in Trigg County Ky. nes * La Yi and belwesn the Camoertiand and which are navigable the sntire v7 all mard wood of the beet quality ket, The land laye well and ind with a good Farm end an ace with complete vsohinery i ar 8 whole or in smaller tracts, nership propositions, for Tron | ows of Block raising. C. BER. No. 106 Fourth Avenues, Pivvsevn jon LW ~ SECHLER & CO. Groceries, Provisions FOREIGN FRUITS py SUGARS, grades st lowest Livan te] Biugar Bc a pound A SYRUPS Good bargains in all grades MOLASSES ew Oriesns at Bic per gallon COFFEES wid toasted Jur {| Colones are f Coffees. both reen aiways fresh TOBAOCOR, C10 A RS. —Bpe Wetryt H yson at 40¢ por pound CHEERE — Finest full cream cheese st 16¢ per pound VINEGAR «Pure old cider vinegar made fr door this goods is worth u two ga ¥ mon vinegar 188G----=---168. The Pittsbu rgh WEEKLY POST, TheOnlyDemocratic Paper in Pitts- burgh. At the Low Rate of One Dol- lar a Year. mm Clubs of Five or More. ALL THE NEWS of AND A ()F THE WEEK GREAT VARIETY MISCELLANY. Complete Market from all Points-— Cattle Markets a Specialty. A Valuable Farm FOR SALE Sitaat rin . rast : 12 tows woke O Acres, andall HIGH S TA ¥, DING { I! rane House Bank Barn, and other Necessary Outbuildings. ; ny and New aii and CONFECTIONERY. SAT MARKET in connection. STONEWARE Io silelvem of allt Bost quality of Akron ware factory goods lu the market, FRUITE whew! goods FOREIGN Oranges and fr be had We bu ue we cap find. 1 hesper that | FRUIT JARS | and Mason's § the very We resins lined we Have the new ar is far shew o higher ¥ e than the Hghtuiug It ie ws Ii ug Jar snd you w in plats, quarts sand b red Hem ad Boef, NWN f %, Fi asked and ¢ ont we aol) We give spec Rivers Lr KE shew! Dar SLATE Cal ioe jamb at wll tim BECHLER & CO. GROCERY & MEAT MakERY Besh House Big Ek, nie, Pa. “e Lele DR. RYMA ETAB FOR THE THROAT. 4 A A ifie remedy for Co day : sighs, Hosrsenoss Astbom, Chrost, Croup, Spiwting B : Spiting bBwod, and all Diconses og from an irritated throat and Inf This Balsam. Li Used in private iwenly years gaining a bigh curing all Luug and Throst we Who bave used it. It beliwo-thirds of dst caurnd seepiy sealed in hel 4 Line ue ore ALE reality, Jeaihe Yel lrue wilkir are Dna is LOCO ie porlioks negisclt ar in When beaith | ie is) { % wi Report “ ris a healthy x n minative hoea and (C} Ryman's Cai For Dye Dias era M » 1 1- rbus edies have a i § 1 iq [TEETH ING, Ne BUCCOess 1s Cort rect i ria DR. RYMANS CEl CARMINATINE for el DE greatly fad i Hilales y the teething, by softening a cing all inflamotion—will allay PAIN and spasm action. a: | ; € Vo reguiale Lhe b pon it, Mothers 3 leper wi rest ur-selves aud RELIEF and HEALTH We have prepared and sold this valuble Medicine far muy years, and can say in confidence and truth THAT IT HAS NEVER FAILED IN A SINGLE INSTANCE TO EFFECT A | CURR when timely used. We have | never known of dissatisfact:on by any ne who ased it, on the wntrary all are delighted with its operations. and | speak in terms of heighest commenda- tion of ite magical effects and Medical | virtue in almost every ‘nstance when the infant is suffering from pain and | exkavstion, relief will be found in fit ) YOUT INFANTS (Food Flowing Mountain Water all the teen or twenty minutes afler the caAn- vear round, Far further particolare inquire of J. TIBBENS, Executor, ap. 20m H Ow J. 1 SF TERME WILL BK RASE WANTED 1 anvass for the SA LESM ENae of Nursery Stock. Fready employment guarantoad. Salary and Expenses Paid Apply at once, plating age, CHABR BROTHERS i Refer 0 thie paper PA ". Rochester NX. Y. Fhafer on the premises mmasss AW CURR POR we Malaria, Fever and Ague, Serofala, per, Erysipeins, Bells, Fimples, Sore Eyes, Sonld Mend, Tet. y Balt Rheum, Norenrial and all Rlood and Skin Disonses, For yard have Lean the standard famedy for LIVER COMPLAINT, COSTIVENRRE, KICK HEADACHE, PAIN IN EROVLDERE or BACK, DIZZINESS, COATED TOKQUE, and ail dis. eases arising from the LIVER or STONACH Thome Adhma of Big Sandy, Ky. enyw Sel. Jers Pia saved hundreds of dolinrs in doctors’ Badin in his county.” Sold by Draggine Sellers Medicine Co., Pittsburgh, Pa, | MIXATIVE i8 given. This valuable | Medicine has been used by wos | EXPERIENCED and SKILFUL NURsES with never-failing success. It not only relieves the child fror pain, but ine | vigoiates the stomache and bowels, | corrects acidity and gives tone and and energy to the whole system. Ig | will almost instantly relieve GRIPING IN THE BOWELS AND COLIC | come convalsions, oa]. ovat ly remedied, end death, | We believe it is the Best any ney REMEDY IN THE WORLD in all os ses of Dysentery and Diarrhea whether it arises from teething or trom any other cause, aud say to every mother who hasa child suffering from any of the | foregoing complaints, do not let your prejudice, nor the prejudices of others, stand between your suffer ing child and relief, that will sure tn in | i follow the use of Rymax's CARMINA. rive. Full directions for using will sccompany each bottle, PA trial of the Carminaiive will recommend it, Price 25 cents per Bottle, Bold by Druggists and Countr Marchants generally. Ht. A. Moore & Co. prop'rs. HOWARD, Pa.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers