HUMOROUS, The man in the talked to death by a barber, moon is never | THE PECULIARITIES OF LAW, But I tell you they can't put you | that's | 1 jail. They just can't, and Next year let some one kill all the be long and the short of ity said a law ground hogs in January. but “just for the fun of it.’ Aun anomoly in pantaloons- are never tight when they are full. The new directory of York ghows | 37 Smith families in that borough. A walking suit—Ouoe for which a change of venue has been taken, The frost got in a foul on Florida, Struck Ler below the orange belt. Of good fortune, as of ripe fruit, we must make the most while it lasts. | It's the little things that tell—es- They ! | yer to a client in prison, A humorist doesn't write {or money | Well diog it all I'm here, ain't 1? Not according to law, you ain't. But I facts in the case, out. Well, yes; it might seem to aony- body not familiar with the statute am according to the and I want to get | that you were really incarcerated, but | | m— Seem, thunde: you know it! Not legally, my dear sir; law you're as free gally, Io pecially the little brothers and 8is- | thunder gust. ters. cently made by a thief. He robbed | a plumber. The life are well exemplified of American the ups and downs on boggan slide. Orange is to be the fashionable eolor in Paris this season. In Florida frozen orange. The snows are probably not all | down yet, neither are the cold waves | exhausted. Advertising is a good deal like makiog love to a widow. It can’t be overdone. A friend asked a remedy feet. Make them stay on side of the bed : A rule that both When a fleet goes out on a cruise, crews go out on the fleet. It is fied the lighining the other works ways, — the worth nothing that Ajax de: before the Jersey brand was discovered. Dead men tell no tales. It is The obituary do necessary. writers that work for them. Some of Gladstone's enemies call him a koave. He certainly the party that held the queen. “snowy brow,” and has been laid up ever since] that the It is rumored man predicted a mild winter, bas crept | with the ground | into the same hole hog. A bonnet covered with not sing, but the fellow whoj{bas to pay for it whistles when the bill comes birds doeg in. ‘A great change has come over me,’ said the small boy, as he lugged home a bag full of pennies trom the bank. | The orange crop of Florida been damaged by frost, but the gator crop will be fully up to its usual standazd. Happiness is a cold blooded —she jhas to forget all the misery But rheumatism knocks her out every round, The hydrophobia scare is spreading all over the country in spite of the that gcarce as honesty, “Is the tide going out, fact hy drophobia is asked a sailor of a gentleman who was pass | ing a house where a marriage cere mony had just taken place. “ “How shall asks an exchange, don’t treat at all in Earope. man pays for his own beer, John L. upon we treat Bismarck,” Every Joseph Cook and Sulli van are the two * the “Hub turns. Some®mes one is on top and sometimes the other, The Shah of leisure to writing poetry. felloes” which Persia devotes his This vice, however, is atoned for by a conspicu ous virtue, He does not publish it. A young American lady in China thinks the language arn than Eoglish, It it is the language of the Chinese easier for children to le ought to be; child-like and blaud, Debtor (furiou that bill? I'd like to Debtor (mollified) Tailor—=Yes, I did: ava the money, too. Well, I thought you sent it, but I wanted to be have “1f the cold and snow blows in at the windows, just fold & newspaper lengtliwise and shut the window down | | on it hard, and no snow will under,” says a house wife. The caprice of some fashionable young ladles is to have numerous small jewelled pins fastened careless ly on the dress waist, Some of these little pins represent butterflies, bees crescents and horse shoes, and no two of them should match. “I would like sledding if it wasn't for walking up hill,” says a York girl. { A very amusing mistake was re- | to | want to for cold | euchred | who | has] alli’ | godde ss | Over nearly as We believe they | 5) Did you snd me | sure, | I don't care where I am in law, | and | konw where I am myself, want | to get out. According to the statute, out on the street at this minute, you're Bat according to common sense, | ain't anything of the kind. I'm in a | box as tight as though I was nailed up in one, and I want to get out, In law you are out. In reality I'm in. of law You can't find a single scrap hit allows them to lo YOu up. Heavens and earth, man ! I wast to find to gat out, That'll be a friend. Hard thing ty» ao! And t:ll me there’ law for in. So there but you've how, fianoe of all legal pre- it, and thats the blond was. You've waived your le by admitting that you are i cans law me thing to do my hard £ DO putt isn't, got i some in oe cede where ral i its going to take o plenty of money to get sure as you live. YX have come jo me before yi { in, Keeping you then, the law different from getting you out now, when when you was quite a matter | law has you. The gentleman who kissed a ladys | caught a severe cold AGENTS WANTED he “BPY or THe REBELLION.” 1 by the Tent of thousands k of {1a kind Tha “SPY” roveais Ae war never before published. A of the conspiracy to assaaninate An Parilonas Axper! ences of our Fromsar Heres in hoo Reb ol Capitol; their berole bravery fully re sled in these vivid sketches. The WSpy yy the most thrilling war book ever published, Eadorsed Ly hundreds of Press sod Ageats’ testimonials. A large band. s book, 658 pages; 80 illustrations @ ACENTS WANTED! AGENTS! This book ia out-eelling all others, frsnirod thousand applications for agencies have been received. Wo have many agetts who have sold from favo fo fee hundrad copies, Ss The “SPY” Is sold only by our Agenta, snd can mol ba found in bookstores, Bells to merchants, farmers, machanios an 1 ever ¥ body. Absolutely the sant be known! Wo wantone sgant is Peat and in every townahip snd con For fall particulars and ferme £ 0. W, CARLEIN k fo } ever N k CO, Publi THE STAR A Newspaper supportis of a Democratic Administration, Publish the City of New York, WILLIAM DOLE EIVER, Editor g the Principles nd Prop d Weekly Ed THE WEEKLY STAR, en-g oN: every Wed pure, br retor, Suna iy, d lions » A Sixt wspaper, nes day. A clear sie] Intere FAMILY PAPER, k 4 n tot ight ting BO ox Agricultural Market Fashion, Household, Political, Financial and commercial, Poetice!, Humorous and Editorial nol trained ’ SLAY Sten, y " His special correspondence A Rid blow | (aan: Tie Hierary The Finan i wd oom le te Hpoelal terms and extraordinary induoees tents to pgents nnd can vassee Sond for cireulars, TERMS OF THE WEEKLY BYAR ro Sun HIRKRS, FR" ¢ PostTaag In the 1 nitod MMs vil Candas, vie side th limits of New York City ¢ 1 ome exirm TERMS OF THE DAILY STAR SCLIRERS Every day for ana y ear (inclading Pail ¥. Without Banday, one year Every day, sig me yalhy Daily, without Sanday, six months, am 8 Address, TILE. STAR, ~ and 28 North William t., New York, 10 organ ae Sunday ao LR cold | I'm locked up and fas a the | Woman's Province, 18 § GENTLER ST FULFILLED, THE DUTIES OF wk is as igned to can not be elevated not her pros to make Ia rrmies, nor to be at the head of great en roriscs, but to het by whom the laws a of mizhty a wo man, Its dignity ws, to noe ved from re wiples, and breatl we into ing those pure senti y to come will be a and bless generations man 1s given the » of aiding the sufferer in stares of his existence. She ly at the christe and {0 we ning, thes the » and preparation of Dr, n, and known as PErUNA, r persons sufic « complaints incid to is just t is invaluable to women, an + has suffered for years 1 of the hin the s troubled with a bad cough, { a number of physicians, but led to cuye her, She was in y PERUNA, and im ately n nga k pl After ush IY] nd in ashort ments were cured, She tored to healt? to PERUNA, Jungs, catars ' and Mr ] PF variou arge fam I find diseases to wi ily of childr itinevervca No family Nancy are ever liable, and ist the can? ne | be v LIOUR Indias naa LY “ Gentlemen: You ne 1 on se to be § ¢ best medici had | ~~ ANEW PAPER Itis | lead | is given the power to » made, i Ele i aunfain’ \ SEVEN.COIA and PURE «stalling snow, TUTT’S PILLS 256 YEARS IN USE. The Greatest M SYM™ Tom Zong Li ii ar ire uilness after eating, with adise inclinution to exertion of body or mind, Irritability of temper, Low spirits, with a feeling having neglected some duty, Weariness, Dizziness, Fluttering at the Heart, Dots rr he eyes, Headache over the right oy Be Rest ean, with fitful dreams, I) Hi y colored Urine, and CONS SLIPATION. LS are especial) to such a Ag vn As such «hangs of faults ica ir Trinmph of the Age! . + New Nowe in Bellefonte. Te ME QUARTO, WEVYKLY containing Ny #ix res Hing eo ’ v PAPER, | CHASTE | lum ns STORIES, NEWS, AND THE . Bestof Sunday Reading. | alin TWO CONTINUED STORIES, lete Bt Each number will con’ Beven short Com sles, a sermon by the Rov. T. DE WITT TALMAGE, Intest news from all parte of the con try ¥ull vie condensed & All parts of the World. ews jrum impsof ILLUSTRATED Humor for Lovers of Fun, MARKET REPORTS ONGREFSIONAL RETORTS PETRA An TERME ALY WWE hve THE FOUNTAIN, Bellefonte, Centre County, Pa, IRON-STONE CHINA AND TABLE GLASSWARE. W. H. WILKINSON, ae: - ' eaier in CHINA, GLASS, «a Queensware, ALLEGHANY STREET, s Bel ie fonte, Pa. Is selling ALL KINDS of and Table GG] than ever known in following | at wi t rockery at LOWER price Bellefonte, as the | show ; ArEwWare and Basi, 100 y \ TABLE GIL ASS W ARE. imblers, each, Me (Wie ock of Decorated Tea, and Chamber Sets. Best English ware, Te in Blue, Bl on $5.00 a Sets, Decorated Brown or Claret, bf regular price $7. y Majolica ack, Oo, and Fancy J Lica Pitchers, 2c: B height 10 inches, this g else just wa gay desire to say this advertisement ; $1.00, and every. heap in proportion, to every reader of pared to gixe you ue Ureatest value for | your money once yet obtained, Call | and examine the goods and the price, 1f 1 do not fulfill strictly all I claim as | to prices being LOWER than ever be. | | fore heard, 1 do not ask your patronage, The greater amount of goods I can sell | the lower prices oan and WiLL BE MADR, Reapesefully, . H. WILKIN f Dre. JN &J.0 Hobensnok, No 208 See ond Bt above Race, Philadelphia, for 40 years hav boon sngaged in trontmeont of Beorel Diseases as Re guint Practitioners, Read our new book “Mystery, ete, Hent to any address on Teoolpt of ten conte Useful information to the aficted OMes hours from famtolpmandfromfte nine p. m. Conmite on by mall strictly private and confidential, Offies closed Bunday, vielbely. 8 Bend Geta for postage and receive free a costly box pt gob which anil hatp you to more pA right away than anything | oles in this world, All of either sex, succeed from first hour, The broad road to fortune opens before the workers, akbatutely mre At once address, Tavs & Co, Augusta, Ma'ue, CATT, -AT THE — DEAD Job Office DONE Fow is the Time to Subscribe FOR THE “CENTRE DEMOCRAT ¥ pC ONLY $1.50 FER YEAK. ADVANCE. OFFICE: HARRIS’ NEW{|BRICK BLCCK BELLEFONTE, PA BOOK BINDERY Job Office. Hous: 111 and 113 North Broad Stret, Arch), "PHILADELPHIA; PA. Above i. Refitt Local 3 3 €d ana Refur- won Admirable. INDUCEMEN | Bed-Rock Prices ohemian Vases I want your ousiom, | and in read hing out forit I am fally pre | LETTER HEADS, VSON, Agent | arn — Depot Thee - : ‘THE BELLEFONTE BOOK | i Sm ich ious. BINDERY ALL THE LEADING MUSEMENT Is now in successful operatio a first NVENIENT I p, Par job at PENNSYLVANIA STATE COLLEGE. , 1886, *n trol the entire Alleg students of both sexes. and offers wrees of Study: ties desiring lass Winter term begine Jan, ¢ 11 hd titution i» loosted in one of 1} CR. 3 ul sw t in open t lowing ( AF A latis Scientific courses A GENERAL COURSE IN AGRI ot bean regios he foi Should give ns a r H n B. 3 We are prepared to do all kicds Betentiic Course of Pont Years Piain and Fancy Binding on short notice. Old Books ~a rebound, repaired, and The f sg ADVAN reno Mag- azines, Pam phlets, Periodi- cals, Papers, Sheet Mc» sic, ete., bound in any style. A short SPECIAL COURSE in Agr . A short SPECIAL COURSE in ( Patronize Home Institutions and TE er i MBCH ANIC Home Industries. Give us a fair trial, th study.~Thre ree (iw ED COURFES wing the first tee the Folenti. AGRICULTURE; (b) NATURAL RIETO’ CHEMISTRY ANKDPHYSIOS ; (4 CIVIL ENGINEERING | of twe yours vated. years of uitgre hemisiry ARTS, years combining shop RE ot yours a Lit re and g ladion Graded Preparatory Course UREES are arranged (¢ ‘asl stodoents sion for MUST erate WE GUARANTEE OUR WORK mest the All kinds of I ttering in Gilt done Expenses for board Prayer Books, Pocket nt Ay hi Bh free, Joung lad ¢ harge : Ho 4 ‘ 1 « vr other Information address ATHERTON, LLD., Paespesy, Brave Oosaman, Cony e Co Fa. PATENT | NTS Li FRANKLIN H. HOUGH, SOLICITOR OF AMERICAN & FOREIGN PATENTS, y E,8t., Near U.S. Patent WASHINGTON. D.C. cinews before the and Hymuals, _ Bo ke, Ratehe le, Ke, ke tiers d. THE Job Department ! Is complete, and all kinds of Job | Work done neatly and with dispatch. | ce Uilice, AT in attended t United Staton Patent OFce | Wierats foes, Pelents procured in the United States and all foreign Trade marks and labels registered. Re spplioations ENVELOPES, BUSINESS CARDS, | tn chaining’ Patents cheerfully: furnitbed withoss WEDDING CARDS, | Peg sketch or saodel fur ree opin PROGRAMMES, i ita dh DODGERS, SALE BILLS, venlwons, POSTERS, Ete | Ooplen of patents fornished for B5 conte ach | aw Correspondence invited, sss () was DMIN ISTRA TORS NOTICE— In the matter of the estate of Joseph Polgur Inte of Walker township Oentre county, decased: Letters of administration having been granied ts the undarsigned, they request all parsons indelted tn wad estate to make lmmediste payment, snd hive Don't Forget the Bellew: : fonte Book Bindery, |" En BILL HEADS, for wm contre imctnd lon ax to pad v . - —— | No Agency in the United Stoles possesses mm perior facilities for obtaining Patents or ascertaining the patentolility of ine Jac M, Gansnsex, Administrators,
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers