GOOMTERBESSERS RAISING, Sehnyder vy vou not cume to dem | barn rasen vo: ve haf gots up to der Goomterh = usl at der feets oft Allyrany mountings var der rode goes hh 411 i y Ors gross his 1 1 Bplatterman bach. Dot rasius vos aboudt two berhind d | debe ker Lind du Swop his fraw de bigsist vimins in der round, und sum gals vot ish matrimo- contentions on, Och mine more as much fun as a hor could ead. Gotlieb hat pig tinners, fat kal le fuwl, more two times de gil ns hunner pi raddishes by der dozen. Des vimits bout It ye | der mens und blaces feeld purty goot und alls puts dot barn quick right aways up | purty soons, By.em-bys ven ve dem dinners vod shmokes dem fur fife zent hedt mighty quick swim und hish pig tinner turn down side oud, vy den der garpender laf-like und say, boys ve masht make des shob dun; uad ve say vot sh)b? und he sait, dem rafters musht go up on dot parn. All der vel- ers on dop of der parn shirk rafters quick right avay up to vich beat. Den all de vimins und de | gals cum oudt to see, und von endt gets churked right avay soon ub, der mens sheer, und all der vimins shmile oudt loud und sait dot vos nice. I sees dot makes dem gals schmile und da bick ub dot aprims und vipe | dare chins mit der schwedt off, I dried | und dake de opordunidy dot vos a ig verdt mit a pig understandig ) to Pg } show oudt pig und schmardt afore Pig dot gal vot ish dink boudt matrimony, und mit dot pig sourcroudt aprons on : she vos somedings a leetle shame, so she dont vos gonter speak mit dar | boys. But I vos schmart und tidt dot ropes right avay soons dang quick on dem ladth; und den I sait big like dot gal vould hear: go hedt boys und up wp it vent, vile der men schee und der vimins clap der hands. Dot make me haf pig thinks und I ges I gets on de sidt ob my self; for usht den I gets bote feet mit bote sides oft der ladth vile I vos tied de rope bis der lumber got hb unner endt, pulled up mighty qui roud. Der vellers vot haf t de! Der vimios ves a laffin, der mens a cheerin und evry dings oxzited | I vos scherdd goes up 80 quick dot dey taket und vot you dink! bis der lumper. Vot d ticeld bis laf pig hole Vv my drouser fro cellar b oudt lik ret mil m to lets mo I nsht feels und put my HOU ever goes dem fests on von site. ————— “Going Snooks Togother Chataubriand Joaes loved pretty Miss Lula De Smith, who resided in Harlem with her father. Clarence met Lulu's brother-in-law, Jake Snooks, and Young (Clarence questioned him about her and family. Snooks said : “Old Deacon Smith is a genius, ing » broadgague church. It is simple enough. He keeps the drug store, and any mao who wants to become member can pay his dollar, sign his name in the book which lies open | and call himself a broed-gague member at once)” “Is that 80?" asked Clarence, Ab, my boy, it is too true, but it is glorious, isn't it?” “Did you join?" queried Clarence, “You It made it easy to marry Lalu’s sister. The deacon thinks I am atromp.” Clarence dressed in his neatest suit and started up to Harlem, resolved to Join the broad-gague church, and thereby get the deacon’s consent to marry Lola. The deacon was behind the counter dealing out chewing gum when Clarence dropped in. Clarence lovked at the bok, “Want to join broad-gage. eh ? said the deacon, eyeing Lim closely, “Yor.” “Come duwn with a dollar and will be done.” The dollar was paid, and Clarence ou the counter it al 8, apples cass und horses un) | . i . . | makes | converted to broad guace earth baths. | Come in and and examine the articles der | dree- | | cegars vich make a fellers | dem | BOO | Ven | the De | He is now runn-| | was invited into the rear of the drug- ‘store. Two men seized him, and in a second stripped him of his clothes, | He {small garden and chucked into a lit- } dirt . ' was then lugged into the deacon’s tle hole, and the loose shoveled | | NOVELTY STORE. | I have just recently opened a store | in the rooms adjoining Harper& Oo, store on Spring street, Bellefonte, Pa. A full line of over his body, his face only being out. Novel { 1¢ 3 ¢ | 8! cl He yelled to get out but the attendants he had to remain an hour. acon came out, Ji} L ked. » yelled, You he n ' be “Who taking earth baths ?' “arth baths? ’ ‘Why you paida dollar to take one." | “Who said I did ?” “I say 80. Yousigned your name lin the book. I am glad you have been will do the earth | your system good.” | The minerals in eats | | deacon, not this infernal punishment.” I have no ‘Your mind is affected. | broad.guage these I : {earth baths broad-guage because it broad and liberal church. call [takes a man with |idess to consent to take one. “Snooks told me it " was a broad- guage church, “Snooks is drumming for the sys tem,” said the deacon. “Then I want to go Snooks with { you !” He did. This origin of the { snooks together.” — New term “going York Mail A BOOM FOR CREMATION, The body of John M. Riggs, D. D. 8, who died in Hartford, Conn., last Wednesday, arrived in this city for cremation, Bunday morning at 9:30 o'clock. It was accompained by A. | F. Fiage, executor of the estate of de. ceased ; G. N. Sopow, D. D. 8S: W. A. | Courant, and W. R. Morgan, under- | taker. The cremation took place at | 4 o'clock and except some members no one was present the denta] | profession in this city, several the The decensed was 75 years of age and a He has several brothers He was graduated Hartford, istry, of and ~ . attaches of crematorium. single man. and sisters living. from Trinity col studied . into agnosticism, | of vers wathesia. the cause We « sll ment of G, W, ( Book Pu i who want an agen sell their popular their Waxrten in Nowe hvavert Anot - ww wreaks The bile | Headaches, constipation, pain in the grievous injury liver and stomac h, jaundice, nausea | ensue. A few doses of Hostetter's Stom- | ach Bitters will reform these evils and | prevent further injury. It is a pleas | being unaccompanied by griping. The liver is both regulated and stimulated by it, and it is very impolite to disre gard disorder of that organ, which through neglect may culminate in dan. gerous congestion and hepatic abscess. The Bitters should be resorted to at an early stage. Failure to do this renders a contest with the malady more pro- tracted. Fever and ague, rheumatism, kidoey and bladder troubles, are rem- edied by this fine medicine and the in creasing infirmities of age mitigated by t. It may be also used in convales oence with advantage, as it hastens the restoration fo vigor, - . ~~Men's finest quality linen collars, coon and other brands 18cts, 2 for 35cts ~Ciarman's, 4534 ~Piano for sale, inquire at this office, ~The largest assortment in mens, boys, and children's shoes—Mingles, ~Qur line of ladies fine shoes in equal to any in Central Penna, ~Ming' or, “I joined your broad-guage church | Ayer, associate editor of the Hartford | | lin broad-guage | | | and | but gave | | by a sdck child suffers | Ma | by all draggiets then § i a bottle . ant aperient, its action upon the bowels | Fancy Goods "almost evi rything in the of TOYS, FANCY ARTICLES. VASES, ALBUMS, SILVERWARE, consisting of Castors, Butter Dishes, | ete. and China Ware, Clocks, Jewelry, Handsome Steel Engravings, Panel Pictures, Paintings and Pieture Frames STYLES AND sisting of (ines OF ALL SIZES, on our FIVE-CENT COUNTER, People are cordially invited to call and examine my stock, which I trust | will warrant a share of your patrons age. Respectfully, Alpha Corman. HAMILTON'S GREAT Piano & Organ Emporium. Our business being the LARGEST IN PENNSYLVANIA, We have Bp vinlsts ial Facilities for mpplying®the Trade. | AGENTS “WN AXTTED. Our line of Instrumnets are acknowledged to be BEST IN THE THE WORLD. TH E— Esty Organs, Shoninger Organs, Merling Organs, Bory & Clark Crgans Clough & Ws ren Organs, Decker Bros. Plano Wm, Knabe & Co, Plane, Pocher Plane, Pease & Co. Plone Behr Bros. Plas If there is no agent for our goods in your neigh bork write direct to we, afd we will makes you wpocial Agures until wo setablish an agency Duly responsible men need apply for agency. Jow elere, furniture men and music teachers can Sand) organs and panos Fpecial mate at wholesale for eepondence solicited werd . fall trade. Ur E HAMILTON Avene, and 150 First Ave Pittsbu ¥ nnd se tg Pa r 4 > TX germ & AGENTS WANTED 3,98 “SPYor TH: REBELLION.” .k 2 OR 0 R og LW 8d ’ tre nia A’ i ACENTS AQENTS! Thiel k vor hagmd ro WANTED! { a3 a (4 > re A s 1 n received ave sold m fw fo fier hand ae “SPY Is a Agonta, sod can nf be Bells to merchants farm body. Absolutely fhe easiest ? bm wn! Wo wantons agent ¥ ¥ & d only nal ers mechani fn every (ras and in every township and ¢ r fall particulars and fermi 0 @ a. W. ( ARLETON & CO, Ful Lisbers, TO MO al night a ’ ng avd erylog with send at once and 8. Winslow's Soormine Braor Teermine. Ite value ie incalenlabie the poor little sufferer immediately thers, there ie no mistakes al sntery and diarrhoea, regulates the stomach and ole, © oftens the gums. reduc fammation and gives tone and energy to the eystom. Mas, Winston's foormine STREP FOR ( REN Trxvuina is pleasant to the taste and is the pre scription ofone o. the oldest and best female physi. clans and nurses in the United States and in for sale withe world. Price 28 conta Ty ADVICE THERS Are ¥ Heturbed roken of your £ tenth? If so, m ros wind celje DO YOU WANT A NICE, COMFORTABLE BOOT or SHOE || IF 80, CALL AT | MICHAEL COONEY'S Well known Boot and Shoe Stand, MeCafferty’e Build. ing, opp. Depot. ELLEFONTE PENNA | in Jresents given away: Send anh vents postage, and by mail | you will get free a package of goods of large value, that will start you In work that will at ones bring you In money faster than anything dlee in Amerton: All about the $200,000 In presents With each box. Agents wanted everywhere, of sliher sex, of all ages, for all the time, or spare time only, to Work for ne st thelr own homes. nes for all workers absolute yaseured, Dou'tdelay, NH. Matter A Co, Portland, . — - —— r dress oloth for -p 10 «Inne dolla Garman's, Only Temperance Bitters Known. ty ho REKA i other medicine know: the blood of dee tod dineamos, Hons bear testimony to its won. ful corative effects it isn made from No 1 #0 effectually pire i” Wil A { purely Vegetable Preparation, the native and roots of ( fornia, th there f n wit H the um of F ‘ ho It removes the enuse of dis patient 1 vers his he It in the great 1.44: Principle + ath, Blood Purifier and n Gor I © » 1 ry disenss The Alterative, mirntive Sutritious, 1 k Ao Counter rif Aunti-Billious, Solvent, Diuret properties of Vixeoan Birrens ex- | o of any other medicine in the world No person can take the Birrens accords 4 to directions aud remain long unwell, provided thelr bones are not destroyed hy 1 ral poison or other m , and the vital organs wasted beyond the point of repair, Bilious, Remittent, Intermittent and Ma- arial Fevers are prevalent thre wut the United od in the v ve of our great vast tributaries during the Bammer wpecially during seasous of unusual ans, vers are invariably accompanied by rangements of the stomach, liver and their treatment, a purgative, exerting Hint Ap N 1 t irritant, lorifie, and 1 18 heat and dren These Fe extensive de els, In rly Jute ¥ RECORSArY. There is no enthartie for the purpose equal to Dr, J, War # Vixroan Brerens, as predity remove the dark-colored viscid th which the bowels are loaded, at the et simulating the secretions of the liver, restoring the healthy functions of KEN it wil pat the « tive organs, Fortity the body against disease by pur fring all fis fluids with Vixeean Brrrens, epider an take hold of a system the It invigorates the Stomach and stim- ulates the torpid Liver and Bowels, elcuing the blood of all Impurities, lmparting life and the frame, and carrying off without the f Calomel, or other minerals, all poisonous r from the system. It is easy of adminis tration, prompt (on action, and certain In its results, Dyspepsia or Indigestion, Headache, Pala in the Shoulders, Coughs, Tichtness of the Chest, Pneumonia, Dizziness, Bad Taste in the uw Bilious Attacks, Palpitation of the t, and a hundred other painful symptoms, are at once relieved by Vieroan Brrress For Inflammatory aod Chronic Rheum. atin, Gout, Neuralgia, Diseases of the Blood, Liver, Kidneys and Hiadder, the Bitters have no equal. In these, as in all oomsthtutional Dis. cases, Warken's Vissoan Brrrees has shown its great curative powers in the most obstinate and intractable cases Mechanical Disenses. Persons engaged In Palotsa and Minerals, such as Plumbers Type-setters, Gold-beators, and Miners, as they advance in life, are subject to Paralysis of the Bowels. To guard against this, take cootsdonsd domes of Vingsan BHirresa Skin Diseases, Scrofula, Salt Rheum, rs, Pimples, Pustules, Bolla, Oar worms, Boald-bead, Sore Eyes, h, Scurfs, Discolorations, Humors of the Bkin, of whatever name or terally dug up and carried out of in a short Ume by the use of the ¢ | » foresrn Hitlers Fin, Tape and other Worms, lurking n the of = many thousamis. are od and remote Xo system fuges. ho anthe ‘J [Rat rintios, ike Vissoar Mensles, Scarlet Fever, Mumm, Who - ng ¥ ir diseases Ir y we cmrale Conmiplainis, In 4 3 Vitinied Mlood + most relist that can be Dienrox, Jan Oo 3 y -i 12.0. W. The Rockford wateh purchased Feb. 1879, has performed better than any Watch | ever had. Have carried it every day and at no time has it been irregular, or in the least unreliable. ! cheerfully recommend the Rockford Watch "HORACE B. HORTON, at Dighton Furnace Co, Tat Nrox, Sept, 18, 1881, The Rockford Watch runs very ae curately ; better than any watch | ever owned, and | have had one that cost $150. Can recommond the Rockford Watch to everybody who wishes » fine timekeeper, S.P. HUBBARD, M.D. This is to certify that the Rockford Watoh bought Feb, 22, 1879, has run very well the past year, Having set it only twice during that time, its only variation being three minutes. It hae ren very much better than | ever an. ticipated, It was not adjusted and only cost $20, R- P. BRYANT, ACENTS WANTED «Ry the trodocers of RANCOCAS RA Only theme need apely who can feared Slention to Lhe work “Row © dune of FRUITS NTALN, ~All the new styles in men's hate Garman’s, influence upon these organs, is abeo- | ! | | CONKLIN | | CLOVER i ] | : | ! | i | : SECHLER & CO. Groceries, FORE wie oe ATA Whi C fin ENON myer VN 2 Provisions, * IGN FRUITS Hie J a ™ hd oe ONERY. Jin connection. CHEESE. Fine VINEGAR. Pu cider One galls: two gallons of « re old cider vinegar m f this g ois wm mmon vinegar A NEW FIRM. McCalmont € Co, (Buccessors 0 ALEXANDER COAl- hn ie s of Anthracite ( & BRO Chestnut, Bus lure Be delivered in town sis 1 SNOW SHOE COAT, Ws Gemlers in Bellefonte, who sell the # mined by Mr. J. L. Somery Th ures pr nee this 1 J.IMJE, ~We will in the market and sell at the } branch of our busis : Mr. Wm. ¥) ime manufacturer FERTILIZERS #1 » nilinne make west pt CROCKER'S We bave the gore whic for & num results ASTFR 4 Wl. for sale at } yard in qua ¢ above articles are fur: yard IMPLEMENTS, &C wAGONS Cortla pring Wagons, Buggies er Hench Cultivators. Corn Sheflers, Ge tors, Wood Mowers sand IL ajere, Loget full line of Farm Implesnents AXLE GREASE -N on tor arket SFWING MACHINES improved Rewings Mac) Pl Onondag + or st our Th al — He ¢ best wagon We » te 21 Lhe most reasons ble prices that can be } need any FARM AND GARDEN SEEDS SEED. We sell good prime ver We are the only dealers who deal it or | fon (he Spd vlonte 64 pone TIMOTHY SEED. § Gram snd Bed Top, ois CORN «feed Core from thet Oh Be ve ae 10 the bush hard Grass Bee Gen, Beaver's farm varied Cost BARLEY —86sd Barley of best analits - . + k nese Inseed Cone Li 0il Cake ResrrerrvLLy, C. P. fCilder, Territory at Once. 3 U. 8. GRART » Wet way wei) erwin bem real bo him on Th Tdi rare and Flare. GEHOLD OR RAGENTR Wa wane one ages + worn timed £m Pom Preduer and BFS 10 & 1S Ta red ph nl - ’ MA WINFEN A SATO, dine tord: Gens ~ N. The baek we roan wat Lado Powens BY A live school, imparting A poaction] busines ado cation: soabling young men to ANter pon the ative dation of life of cirenlar address P "A fom “ALL amore Kastan ~Its crops, weather, lands, schools, ture, railroads, markets, its politics, its development, the trisi of Prohibition and its future, will be found in The | Weekly Capital and Farmers Journal: an | 8 page, bb-column paper, published at the capital of the *ltate, sent six months for 50 oonts, one year for $100, Ad. | Shen J. K. Hudson, Topeka, Kansas, 4, feopie, ”» gisla- | LER & 00 GY EES & Wray mange Bush H o Block, Be Pa DR. RYMAN'S INDIAN ETABLE BALSAM. FOR THE LUNGS AND THROAT, The grestest kr Sore Throat, Cron: Dies REECE Mrigir 1 Inflamm: Remedy, | find it imparts bealth and vig whol Evelen embrane ‘ 8] Tubes greatly f Dresging ubies rveious short period, a1 sRIne creasing the appetite, csusing an ( £ ntof f enabies the stomach i aciiiiales expect. “Da ir me cough : the 3 as he Dicod and mparts a healt} ¥¢ Ryman's For Dysentery, LY | era Morbus, Ti mpiexion Carminative, Diarrhoea and Chol- - uth To LE when nany and tr IN A BIN INSTANCE ¥ CURE Limely vse never known of dissatisfaction by anv one who used it, on the contrary all are delighted with its operation s. and speak in terms o a tion of its magical effects and Medical | ¥irtoe in almost every instance when the infant is suffering from pain and exhaustion, relief will be found in ff: teen or twenty minutes after the can MINATIVE i8 given. This valuabl Medicine has been used by most EXPERIENCED and SKILLFUL XUReps with never-failing success. It not only relieves the child from pain, but in- | vigorates the stomache and bowels, corrects acidity and gives tone and and energy to the whole system. It | will almost instantly relieve Griring IX THE BOWELS AND cOLIC and over | come convulsions, which, if not speed- ‘fly remedied, end in death. We believe it is the meer and sunpsy | REMEDY IN THE wORLD in all cases of i Dysentery and Diarrboa whether it { arises from teething or from any other | cause, and say to every mother who | bas a child suffering from any of the fore-going complaints, do not let i 2 * » » your prejudica, nor the prejudices | of others, stand between your suffer Ling child and relief, that will sure to follow the use of Rymax’s Canmixa.- ‘rive. Full directions for using will accompany each bottle, 8a A trial of the Carminative will recommend it. Price 25 cents per Bottle. Sold by Druggists and Country Merchants gezcrally, H. A. Moore & Co.,prop'rs. HOWARD, PA. - ~~ We mend
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers