Little Mulkittle's Questions. ————— ‘Pa,’ said the Rev. Mulkittle's little | son, ‘Sampson Was a strong man, was- | n't he ?' ‘Sampson was the strongest that ever lived. “Tell me about him.’ ‘It intended that should be the strongest man, and be- man was fore he was born—' The bewildered expression on the child's face arrested the minister in his narration, ‘Before he was born,’ asked the boy. ‘Yes ; before—that is before he was found in the hollow stamp—"' ‘Just like little sister ?’ ‘Yes. Just before he was found an angel appeared and foretold of his strength, saying that no razor must touch his head.’ ‘Was the angel afraid that the razor would cut him? ‘No, strength lay in his hair, and that his the angel meant that hair must not be cut off’ ‘If I let my hair grow long can I lift more than I do now? ‘I don’t know about that.’ ‘Are women stronger than men” ‘No. ‘But they've “Yes; ‘A woman could whip you, couldn't oot got longer hair.’ they have longer hair.’ she ¥’ ‘No; not easily.’ Was Sampson a Democrat ‘I dou’t know.’ ‘But why don’t you know? I'd How know if I was as old as you) Sampson | | his | must save me-indeed you What's that glass thing ‘It’s a water indicator. { *Ob, I see. It indicates that we are ‘on the water. How grateful we ought to be to the geniuses of America for i | these inventions!’ Here the old lady started to leave with a ‘humph!" of disgust, but the young man called : ‘Madam, you are not interested ?’ ‘Look a-here, young man,’ she ex- claimed, as she wheeled around, ‘may- | be you can make a fool of that inner cent young gal, and mebby she de- lights in it, but when it comes to stufl- ing old hens with chopped straw it won't go down. Pass on! I'm a walkin’ beam myself and I'm going to walk | And away she sailed, carrying forty pounds of steam by the dial. A Fow Yet Left “Heavens! but I'm melting!” he lor. “Yes, sir,” | soda fountain, as she reached for a | sacrificed my self | glass, “Dear, me! but such a thirst I nev- { er had before. Have ‘Yes, sir.” “Ah, yes ; but they it ial eatin. Auy root beer? “Yes, sir." “Exactly but roots are pot always good for the health, he kind of roots, You bave soda wa* er! *Y en” l t many was it that Sampson killed ‘One thousand } 5 L : ‘He was bad, wasn't he ‘No.! ‘Bat when a man kills anybody he's bad.’ ‘The Lord was with ‘Bat the Lord says you mustn't kill Did Sampson go to “ i ampson.’ anybody. 1eaven ?’ ‘I suppose so.’ ‘He's the strongest angel there, ain't we? ‘0, you ask too many questions.’ ‘But I want to know. Will you snow Sampson when you get there? ‘I suppose s0.' ‘But you won't fool around him, will you? If he was to hit you he'd break vour wings, wouldn't he ” ‘That'll do. You needn't ask any more questions about the Bible. CW AI—— George Explained the Machinery They had been sitting on the prom- epade dock for more than an hour, when she suggested that they go down tairs and look at the machinery. He | agreed, and an old lady who sat near by and heard the conversation rose up and said : ‘Young man, yave you any objec- ion to my going along azy on the cubject of machinery.’ He replied that he would be de- | ighted, and she followed the couple to the main deck ‘This, I suppose you know, the young man, ‘is the main chaft. ‘Yes— yes tl Maine,” twittered the young lady The old woman stuck up her nose but made no remarks. That up there is the walking-beam ‘Oh, ist 1t? How nice! Jt think it could walk, but t does! of course The old woman put on her spectacles | to get a better look at the girl. ‘That rod you see there, continued the young man, ‘is called an eccen- ’ tric. ‘How funny! Bat why shouldn't it | be? There are eccentric people, and why shouldn't there be eccentric rods. | presume it gets cranky sometimes, (io on, George. ‘I don't believe it,’ muttered the old lady. ‘And that is cailed a steam chest, my desr. ‘Oh, is it? I've always wanted to se one, They put their steam in there #0 as to keep it cool and nice. It's the same principle as a refrigerator, Yes, George. The old woman removed her specs and began to look as mad as a cow on a sandbar, “That thing up there is called a steam dial,’ said George. ‘Oh, hu vy nice! I've read about it somewhere in Shakespeare's works, | see the pointer is 80, My! but who'd believe we were carrying eighty tons of steam! George if we blow up you Go to your mother. | ’ | I allus been | began ! came from the state of | You would. : tl €8 Jas 10 LO “Doctors say it produ tomach. How's ice cream?” | st | “Very nice, sir.” | “Yes, but lowering the temperature produce spasms. No lemonade, eh.” { “I can make you some.” | “Never mind. My wife died sud- | denly after drinking a quart of it. | | Young lady !" “Yes, sir.) ter. It is probably the safest and best thing for the system at this stage of the gama.” He got it, but he only took one sip. two or three like him before. A Bad Room to Sleep in. | bite?” asked a guest at an Arkavsaw hotel as a coloured gentleman entered with a pitcher of water, “I have been | lying here fighting 'em for an hour. | How long do you suppos: they will keep up this business “Well, I dunno, sah. | how many da is.” “There are ten thousand.” L 8 Coral “In dat case, sah, i | how hungry da is.” “They are as hun ry as woly “Den yer's mightly likely { trouble wid "em, sah.” | “Why don’t you | bed *” “(ase nobod { room but o ut a bar ov r Didn't an’ Ef | ' ® eeps in ne any be dats ' 3 L % sieep in be ah J reason da so hung yer'd | } man had been in en to strike dis arter a it yer'd had an es time, sah.” — 0 — The borrowing family sent their boy Jack over to Mrs. Murphy's | row some tea and sugar | of butter, Mra no to bor- and a plate Murphy inclication to lend to was busy and had | neighbors who never returned anything | they borrowed. At the same time she | did not care to entirely offend them. “I'd be glad to accommodate yees,” she said, politely, “but oim in a hurry and haven't the time to wait on ye. I've other fish to fry just now.” The boy went home and reported that Mrs. Murphy was to busy to at tend to him, and bad other fieh to fry, ele, “And why didn’t ye wait ?” asked his mother, breathlessly. “Go back and take another plate with you, and tell Mrs. Murphy you're ina hurry and mother'd be much oblige to her for a plate of (ried fish 1” During the recent unprecedented rainy spell in Austin, Mrs. Jones sent her servant to a neighbor, Mrs. Smith with the following message: “Would you be kind enough to send back that umbrella you borrowed about a month ago, from Mrs. Jones.” “Certainly, here it js. Tell Mrs, Jones that I would have sent it back sooner but it has been raining every day since I borrowed it.” | must, How to Read a Novel Open it in the middle glance at a page. Catch the names of the char acters, Turn to the last pageand see wheth- | er he married her, or she died with | angels boveringlaround the head-board. | Turn to the beginning and see what the matter was with the old man, and why he don’t approve of the match, You have thus acquainted yourself with all the essential fact of the novel, and can image the moonlight walks, the sylvan dells, the afternoon teas, the | cusswords muttered between the teeth | of the snd all the male characters rest, a A —— “You needn't come up here begging | any more or I'llscald you,” said a lady | living in the fifth story of a New York house, to a tramp who knocked at the door. “I don’t usually lower myself by so | ' : gasped as he entered an ice cream par- | | | the second floor, but | ‘ Lai | retire,” you giogerale! | Depends upon i of the stomach so suddenly is apt to “You may hand me a glass of wa- | It was blood warm, The girl had seeb “Say, how long do these mosquitoes | liciting aid from persons living abovi thought you | : : | paid so little rent up here; that you replied the girl at the |! I . could afford to be charitable, and I respect to furnish you the opportunity. Permit me to and removing his hat with the withdrew grace of a Chesterfield, he from the canvass, - Mrs. Shabby Genteel. the flour come ? Jane —'Yes, ‘And the potatoes?’ ‘Yes. ‘And the canned meats ¥’ 1 @l mum, eigh mum, twenty bush Yes, mum, six dozen cs , mum,’ WW 18 the including gro kinds’ mum, and thei promised lo come eve | dark.’ ‘Very well, Jane. front shutters. ‘Got enough, | months easy, Board up Gems. It must be a lady editor who an swers a correspond ‘How to catch a husband—Grab him ent’s query thusly | by the hair? | » . | Why isa very modest young lady | like a steamboat ? Because she pays no attention to the swells that follow | her; we a-steamer for it, A young man sent fifty cents to a New York advertiser to learn how to make money fast, and was advised in return to glue a five dollar greenback X N . , to the bottom of bis trunk. ' Drug clerk to diffident young lady Wish t something?” ‘Young y to g * ‘I really believe I've came | lady, muttering — i | who catches the last words forgotten what r. od | £ w much, please ? 1 TT. a 4 g gilt darning need) st fancies fo Alter | man won't throw himself down so { pros are the ial t aud hat decorations ify wd whi : ¥ rep Bitter-<weet: Miss Montague to Miss Capulet Sn on the i= #0 sweet i@ ire 0 y introduce to y aw. of him and rims r m litor. She said to the . M | fupuy man I want to a letter Will pou please tel me, sir, where 1 ean go for a boy.’ ‘Go the to devil, madam.’ ‘Sir! she said, risivg. ‘Ah, there he comes now Joho, take that lady's letter to the postoffice.’ “There's a little too much hippo | drome about that sagar you sold me,’ | said a customer to a grocer the other | day. ‘How's that? ‘Well, | not sugar enough in it for coffee, and | | there's hardly sand eoough for mor- | tar.’ “That shows you don’t understand | our great combination brand,’ blandly returned the diluter ; ‘youv'e only got to use twice as much and the residue is just splendid for cleaning knives. And he sold him another box of dried apples made from the best selected shoe paringe. “Oh, ma; that must be the drun. ard’s home like we read about in the story books. All the windows are broken.” “Hush, child. The people who live here are very respectable, but some of their neihgbors get out of patience sometimes and throw bricks vod boot. jacks and things.” “Why, what for ma ?"’ “The oldest son is learning to play the flute.” Cie. v A man who has schooled himself to! SECHLER & CO., Grocers, Bush House Block, Bellefoutr. Pa | repress any inclinations toward lavish | liberality tells a friend to buy him a lottery ticket, adding that if be draws a prize they will go halves. In due course the lottery comes off and the ticket draws a valuable clock, ‘My por fellow,” he said to his friend, “I'll be hanged if I see how to manage it exactly, If I had drawn a money prize, or a cask of wine, or a I could have divid. or ~ pair of anythin ed with vou but a clock--. Bill there o by our clock is one way we can arrange it, ne and see that time it is whenever you want to 7” - Beene—A Texas barber shop. Bar ber—*Next !" “1 believe I'm next.” I'm Customer Other next,” Customer—*"1 believe Customer (grabbing a razor | next.’ omer {grabbing a razor rt but noisy interval i both customers are killed. Burber (to stranger in corner "ou're next, sir.” quiet the uy — A — A wicked y man says that he nm any consideration \ his ve that pretd ] girl it a HAs Lidl hie Attention. \ eterans 250 | 250 the G. A. R. SUITS: JUST RECEIVED. Workmanship the best. Prices the Very Lowest. Fits Perfect. THESE ARE THE REGU- LATION SUITS. Double Sets of Buttons Fur nished Free, S.& A. LOEB. GREAT INDUCEMENTS AT THE Bellefonte Marble Works IN i Italian, Rutland, Sutherland Falls, French there's | Blue and Dorset Monuments, Tomb stones and Burial Vaults: SS GRANITE WORK A EPRCIALITY “un Sutherland Palle Filling, with Tale La Motte Mar ble for Border | Feucing for Cemetery Lots and Private Yards, Chairs and Vases. lwo, ENAMELED SLATE MAN TELS, MARBLEIZED AND DECORATED FURNI TURE AND WASH STAND TOPS HEARTHS, FIRE GRATES, Ee. ) A and at the Lowest Price. §. A, STOVER, | High sve, Belfi, Pu. Po0y. . ADVIC Are ¥ Tubular Galvanised Wrought Iron Grave Guards, Iron Settees, All Work Guaranteed to Give Satisfaction ~ SECHLER & CO. Groceries, Provisions, FOREIGN FRUITS And CONFECTIONERY. MEAT MARKET in Comnectiont SUGARS grad Granulated Bugar All ETONEWAREK - bet umlity Inctory goo other In all wiz of Akr is in suf ul ® al Jowest prices " RTL tn the market EYRUPHR Good bargains in all grades FOREIGN VRUITE MOLASSES, Pinest New Orleans at 80c per gallon freshest goods 10 be bout § We oH of ( chien per than the very ) fe Fine assortment fod both wiways fresh COFFERS Hoon green | Sod rons Our ronsted Colors ars FRUIT JARS I Mason's lightning Wel w and desirable FORKS HOUSE Coburn, Centre Co. Pa. OOD MEALS. CLEAN BEDS. PRICES MODERATE. NEW YORK OBSERVER Established 1823, y 1 44 Biry hae a more EXPERIENCED aw Prime bie sa HOTEL WITHIN TWO MIN UTES’ WALK TO STATION. LE £ A ANE rete vinnds at ellere xt ES Excellent Hunting and } Hotel. JOS. KLECKNER ~- Prop'r. STUDIO, 2nd floor Bush Arcade, I am no shing grounds juite near this taimet E NEWSPAPER. ‘ © pp. Dr. Rothrock's Dental office Ld ready {lo do all kinds of PAINTING, Such as PORTRAITS inoil. LAND SCAPES, SIGN end ORNAMEN. TAL. FANCY DECORA. TING and GRAINING SPECIALITY. A LIV g every week a Ruvscion ions, encouragement and truth ping sll the now, vigorous of pon cu rents events and a great variety of chelos reading The price is $2.15 a your For so%s FIDE saw std | sCRluERs we give one dollar commission ra copy the “ines evs Lerrees.” an elegantly bound volume of $0 pages, containing 8 portradl Pamijile any addres free ¢ Speer full of Instrec. snd & Bpcuian Barer | tuments U re givin of the suthor on of the OnseRyen wil ress, New York Observer. 31 8 32 Park Row, N. Y. ne PAINTING and PAPER HANGING, WORKMANSHIP THE BEST PRICES THE LOWEST FROMPTNESS AND DISPATCH WILLIAMS & BRO. DEALERS IN : This is to certif 14 appointed WALL PAPER 0 on Railroad Werhes io id] vr PAINTS, &C. ) Bs : HIGH Bt bet Spring & Water, Bel llefonte A be wont Satisfaction guaranteed in all cases. I would be pleased to have you eall, and examine specimens of work. In- structions given in Painting, Very ResprctroLLy, C. P. f€ilder, Quick Railway Time, y 193 y 40, Jan, 1880. { we have of oute. Rockrorn Waren Cosraxy. pe BY HOSMER P. HULLAND. Sec. a Having most thoroughly tested the Rock ford Quick Train Watches for the last three years, | offer them with the { fullest confidence as the best made and . L of On ‘ : most reliable time keeper for the money put up he avd wha . that ean be obtained. NE take ¢ th £ That we have * tion of Wall Paper York " ¥ ne. Plate, Rgtis M Beaks Sew B yz ’ . v , { fully guaraviee every Watrk for tw vears. FRANK P. BLAI - 4 » R i " Diane The Roc kford 1879, has per! Wateh | every das irregu Cheer! ey HERS. wnt E TO MOT at night az ‘ hr unrel the Rockfo HORTON Furnace Cx ied 0 vehd Watch HORACE B N “ N IRN] pt, 1 rans very wateh ne mmondg th wlch nk fared AR? kford W ae I ever that cost Rock ford wishes a fine ystom nas Teermiw : betler than any scription i nd | have | cin . a j nara 4 a " { by raggist . . I Wateh to evervbody who Limekeeper, S. P. HUBBARD, M.D SALESMEN 0 eui¥ruit ani Oroamentsi | This is to certify Stock. A spledid line of new Spe os. Good weiss, | Wateh bought Feb t t that ») Rockford has run Having sel ot only twice during that time, its only variation being three minutes. It has run very rouch better than | ever an ticipated. It was no* adjusted and sly cost $20. R- P. BRYANT, HERBERT BUTTS PRACTICAL HARNESS MAKER, Hicn St, xExr poor 10 Brezenr's TRADE THE WARK Mear Marker, Twenty-five Dollar | Is prepared to do all kinds of Fancy - rYs hn | P H 0) S P H A | I< J and Heavy Harness Making at ADOPTED wo | Reasonable Prices and Manufactured only by us, has given oh «IN THE. universal satisfaction that it now stands as Most; Skillful Manger. high in theestimation of farmers as articles Repairing done with neatness and that cost much more money, In fact it gol the preference, for the simple reason We challenge competition in prices and workmanship. that it is the cheapost Ammonisted Raw Bone Super Phosphate ever offered. Choapest bra 2! is Ye of the haut, Give iy trial and be convinced, and only costs per ton, in new ' I work guaranteed before leavin tL Phi Ivars on board car or bout at Philadel- | 0 ’ y carriages sold by R the and steady employment gives 18579, Wiite for terme to ¥ Baxwcs Lake N mer very well the past year 3a HOW TO USE BAUGH’S FERTILIZERS. Any farmer who sends us his name and sddross will receive, by the next mail, our circulars giving analysis of our different brands of RAW BONEMANURES and directions How to use them, | i | | BAUGH & SONS, So'c Many/'re. 20 Bo. Del. Ave, Philadelphia, weandsome bab B. Spangler & Co. wh
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers