What the First Principles of Good als Acting Are. It was in the office of a successful modern theatrics] manager as a tall thin and distinguished looking lady en- tered in quest of an engagement The | eminent tragedieune opened negotia- tions with the question : “Is this the manager?” said the | manager, “what can I do for you ?” “I am Mile, Iam open | for an engagement to do leading busi: | “I’m the person you want,” learsceneri. ness the coming season.” “Just the party I want. I suppose you have bad a divorce or two?’ “No sir” “Perhaps you have been arrested for bigamy?” “Sir, you are insolent.” “What ? der of the orchestra?” ¢ No, indeed! I1f—" “Never jilted any lords or dukes?” “No." “Any lobby suicide on your account?” Never eloped with the lea dude ever committed “These are peculiar questions to ask a lady.” “I'don’t suppose you have ever fallen over a precipice or had your diamonds stolen or any of those little snaps?” “I rely solely upon my artistic mer. it to draw.” “My food woman,” said the manager pityingly, “you may have talent and that sort of if you haven't figured in any of the little ec all thing; but centricities just ment know what the ion ed Fo don't t princi i : acting are.” “You can't then 2” “Well, Sara Bernhardt order for architecture. give me an engagement you are something of the You might do for some kind of busi- ness. I could give you a place as the May pole in our spectacular pieces, or you might be competent to play the part of the stepladder in the balcony scene, but one of you will have to! learn to act bef fore I can do anything better for you. - s ‘Do you know, Miss Smithers,’ re. marked Featherly, peculiar young ‘there is Something very about your father ¥’ ‘Something very peculiar about my papa? repeated Miss Smithers, who loved Featherly passionately but pure. ly. ‘Yes," the young man went on, ‘very peculiar.’ ‘And what is it, pray ?' ‘It lies in the fact that though he is not a grandfatl her he daughter.’ ee - A Jamacia, IL. man had his girl out carriage riding the other evening, and the horse took fright and ran away. has a grand young In turning a corner the vehicle was overturned and the young lady was pinned to the carth, the body | of the carriage lying heavily across her waist. She was rendered When she from her perilous position she slowly opened her eyes, as consciousness uncon- scious. was released re. | turned, and faintly gasped “Don't— slowly squeeze me—quite—so hard-—next time—John.” > A guest at a summer hotel at the beach found wnat he supposed was a lost by some Jdady, and so informed the clerk of | the hotel when he handed it to him. The clerk stuck it up with a pin, over sample of dress goods, it a slip of paper on which was writ ten: ‘Found! A sample of dress goods.’ ‘You saucy thing,’ pointing to the paper. bathing suit at once, said a lady, CGrive me my C—O A—— “Why is that cup of tea like truth?” asked the head of the family pointing | to the cup of tea by the side of his | plate. Tee-hee, giggled his wife; “I don’t know. Why is it?” Because it is my tea and will prevail.” Then his | wife looked sorrowful and asked him | what he bad been drinking, - ro — “I understand, profesor, that you are opposed to admitting women tu a college course.” “That is my posi- tion exactly.” “Have you any objec- tions to giving your reasons ?” “None in the least; they are all embraced in ove.” “What is that?” “I married a lady with a Collegiate education.” “You don’ t sa go ing to marry i! That Tom Bussel i is iss Mollie Pender- !" “Yes, that’s what they 4 Vhy she basn't got any mind of hor own,” “That's just the reason he is marryivg ber. He Joves 5 8 quiet life, and as she hasn't got of her own, she can’t be i giviog him a pide of in” goin’ either to school | will take a rest, | ter a buel | goes & | lady said : Jokitmy Decides that He Will Take a Rest on Sunday. ‘How long did it take the Good man to make the world mother .’ ‘Six days, Johony.' ‘He put in a full week at it, didn't or he? “Yes; but you shouldo’t talk that | way about God. ‘What did he do on Sunday ? ‘He rested.’ ‘He is the best person that ever liy- ed, isn’t he? ‘Yes. ‘Well, the next Sundsy I'm not | church, but | too, and try and be go wl like God. Then Johnny was sent right out af tet of coal. The Theological Mystery that Puz zled a Countryman Fravklin, Ky., has the he a a4 new clock, Shortly house with usual town 80 dear to t provincial heart afier it was put up and set going, two f 21 young farmers were in town seeing the the the attraction one sights, and court-house was centre of Finally of them noticed the clock’s four faces, they were walking around the square. ‘Jim, he exclaimed, Fist lo them clocks up in the cupalow.’ ‘In course.’ Tell, I've been watchin st, an’ I'll swar by bh ' 3 . locks keep i rer who d A BAGGED and hungry man asked a gentleman for money enough t {a meal, ‘Can ¥¢ WU DOL 8¢ ure emj 1 yment ? asked the gentleman, ‘No, sir; te | cheap railroad have killed my business,’ replied man, despons de otly. t ‘Ab, bow is that ¥ ‘All the bank cashiers gone to Cun ada when they are short in their ac counts now, ‘What has that to do with your bus | iness ¥ ‘I used to be a masked robber, re. plied the beggar, was short in bis acco and I'd tie him and all his the keys to | bank at the point of a piston, me, fam tly up and demand the wnitl = belp him out mu bisa ihe st limes fings the accounts in y Canada. | kinds of trade.’ --— Bask Press am sorry to DENT == 4 see You back =o ‘ou evidently didu't catch up our cashier before he rencivsd ada? Detective — Falls and back ‘What! t ‘Every cent of it ae wu h He it.’ ‘Well, brought him back with v Wi I} ! Th it's glorious, w 1 sug youe 7 No; I bad no power to arrest him, because he was oo the Canadian side “The Canadian side! Then how un der the sun did you get the money ¥ ‘Well, you see, he took a ride and | after he had paid the fare I robbed the hackman.’ — a — ! ‘My dear,’ said a jocuse Cornplant- |. er Township farmer to his wife, ‘why | is your deceased grandmother like my threshing machine? ‘I don’t know; why?’ ‘Because she is no more and my | threshing machine is no mower.’ | ‘That's a geod one,’ said the lady, | ‘and I must go and see if Mis, Pik. | rust can tell’ When she saw Mrs. Pikrust, the ‘John has told me such a good con undrum. It is this: Why is my grandmother like a threshing ma. chine ¥’ Mrs. Pikrurst did not know. ‘Because my grandmother is dead and you can’t mow with a threshing machine,’ was the Mhriumphant reply A Columbia o countyman took din- ver the other day at the Putman Hause Tho waisee fouised, the ill of bet lady said : “You must thick I am | riage loosens a woman =. { opening, the dried spe ch crop court- | | view when she | suspect be was permitted ‘and when a cashier | unts he'd send for | | ung lady in Philadelphia has « A Sunbeam. | re | A swell aflfair—a boil, | Nota bene—A Boston famine, | 1 health question: How are | T | 10 9 you |! Runaway horses generally leave | some trace behind, A man can express his feelings and still send them by mail. Wine loosens a man's tongue; mar- | A Boston firm advertises “shoes for | elopements.” They don't vical Now that a political campaign is should | be put to soak. “Can a man marry his wid ter ?" is one of the traps laid [ reflecting person have ith. they can the | At watering pinces hops without beer; but eer w out hops is not so good. Tuoruips fed to sheep are make Will fed to lawyers make legal tender said cabbag to mutton tender. 9 When a young man sttempls to put his arms around a girl, she can repulse him politely by telling him to “waist not, want not “What lovely Mary!” Mary unfortunately he shines whispering Crrace boots your partner's got, wrong ed.” ditto at the wen sent a b Professor— What has n n spanks an iccorrigible child ? Vassar girl—riees, b sits down, article We An exchange contains “A Violinist Amazed.” to an s headed AAW “|weet Violets” twenty minutes before | he was hit. An article on silk culture says “A ver twenty-five hundred worms.” She et us draw a veil over the ii pic- " she said, “there's po deception it me. When my first husband died sick It OMe rt be. | Int take on like a calf, af ist be a calamnity '" re | make any fuss. summer offers great indoce- lovers, There are picoics, +, parks front door courtships bet. «rolls, iee cream, and, Hey CRED see ail the sivies i on, the weather is red-hot,’ | “It's pretty | think it says in the | wight little boy. ny: but I don't “Yes, ite. It thermometer is at blood | | and you know blood is red.” “Jones is a miserly man; said “but it makes him “Ho “Why don’t you see, he fore keeps but is very | | leasant,” Brown. plied Smith, is his miserliness | hint pleasant, that ¥” bates 10 1008 avything, and there his temper. A “sweet girl graduate” at the June | commencement read a very clever or- Iginal essay entitled “Deceit a Crime.” Next day she paid fifteen dollars for a | new set of bangs, and bought a corset | with much plumpness where it would | | do the most good. “Are you satisfied with the arriv, als 7” asked Mr. Mosquito of his wife, | as they sat in the window of a country | Summer resort. “Oh, yes,” she sweet- | ly sung as she fixed her eyes on a 250 pound gentleman. “I suppose they'll fill the bill.” A streak of lightning struck a red- headed Western woman the other day and turned her hair black. And now there are so many red-headed women running about in every thunder storm that you would think the prairie was on fire! The French ambassador to the Eng. lish Court paid a neat compliment a little while back to a peeress who had been talking to him for an hour. The very fond of the sound of my own voice.” The Frenchman replied : “I koew you liked music.” lushes and | on | 2 | of Musie 10 Italian, | ——— Attention, Veterans !. 30 230 G. A. R. Groceries JUNT RECEIVED. Color Guaranteed. Workmanship the best, Prices the Very Lowest Established 1823. Fits Perfect. THESE ARE THE REGU- LATION SUITS. Double Sets of Buttons | nished Free. ‘ur- g LIVE x EWSPAPER. ry week 8 Rrviarovs Speer fe ab ir LB L eve v, PDOGUrREEment the new, vigorous da gre The price js $3 15 a your Fora WIRES we give one AT Til PLD J PB | i Ines ere Levies,” an pe gon niaining » portrait ETAXD ( o ti IUETRTYEE Ww S. & A. LOEB, — CURRY INSTITUTE AND Business College. staining all | rents events a al variety of choles Na ¥ a re res TE ONEW UR are gantly bound ¥ f the auth esent to any New York Obser gl & 32 ver. Park Row, N. PAINTING and WORKMANSINFP THE BEST PRICES THE LOWEST PRUMPINESS AND DISPATCH, ali non 8. W. Cor, Ponn Ave. and Sixth Si The Leading Normal School and Business College of Pittsburgh. INSTETCTORS, OVER 650 STUDENTS LAAT YEAR DEALERS IN WALL PAPER PAINTS, &C. HIGH 8¢ bet Bpring & Water, Bellefonte We take tiffs method of informing everybody That we have in tock the Largest selection of Wall Paper outside of Philadelphi New York, vis is Goble, Emboss Micss, Vint, Satine Bl » “gad and Rrowns fity Mo min Be tion, Drawing snd Conservatory ) Full Lessons for $18.00 Borders in Great Varde Send for Clreulars ou isining Specimens of Pen. 2 That we gate it manship and fall information, Fred Beck's New 1 TAR IND WILLIAMS, foraish and put Busines Manager rations as sre put CLARK WILLIAMS Dé YOU “" WANT A NICE, COMFORTABLE |" aafrut. BOOT or SHOE 1 ADVICE TO MOTHERS. IF SO, CALL AT | MICHAEL COONEY’S by a wick child suffering and crying with pain of cnt ting teeth?! If so, send at once and Mes Wisstow's SooTHisa Steady om Cmiuoees Treat sinG onleuladde. 189i] relieve Well known Boot and Shoe Stand, Mc Cafferty’e Build- | cians and Hurees is eo United ®iates ar ~ ing, opp. Depot. | gly lbp e world. Price 5 ELLEFONTE, PENN A the poor little s sfarer Immediately Deeper d upon i mot here, there nist ke about ft. It « eatery and diarrhoes, reg dates the stomach and bow ele, cures wind colic, softens the gums, reduces in fammation, and gives tone and caergy to the whole, a bottle ly | GREAT INDUCEMENTS | S ALESMEN [Axten-o, AT THE | Stock A spledid line of new Epaciaities. G and steady employment given to relia men Write for tere to KE Riucmanpson & ¢ @ on 0 ar 0 or 5 135 Sexpcs Lake Nunwrnins, Gaxgra, N.Y ws JN Rutland, Sutherland Falls » evetean. Mas, Wisstow's Sooraive Stave ron Cutlp Blue and Dorset Monuments, Tomb get received from f Coiling Dewigne pone no and elaborate Ceiling De p anywhere who intend paperin fe before r JAS That we invite all roe ’ we of go rédering é1 Wel ar em ioy ferme Are prepared SIGN WRIT ave ir ere and Fal pad ners, &1 NTING. GRAINING and PAPER HANGING mplete the work with pestuess Large or small, and or try solicited IAMS & BROTHER wm the cour wii [1a value i» in ist ures dy» 15%0 is pleasant one thie Oldest and physi for wale conte WANTED «-Tosolicit orders Oras word wages etic wind one fim) To FERTILIZERS. Any farmer who sends us his name and address will receive, by the next mail, our circulars giving analysis of our deren brands of RAW BONEMANURES and directions How to use them. TRADE THE MARK. Twenty-five Dollar PHOSPHATE. ADOPTED Manufactured only by us, has ves such oniversal satisfaction that it now stands as high in the estimation of farmers as articles that cost much more money. In fact it the preference, for the simple reason fat it io ho cheapest Ammoniated slones and Burial Valls: ER. GRANITE WORK A SPECIALITY "4a | Sutherland Falls Filling, with Isle La Motte Mar. | bie for Border, Tubular Galvanised Wrought Irom | Fenciog for Cemetery Lots and Private Yards, Grave Guards, Iron Settees, Chairs and Vases. Also, ENAMELED SLATE MAN. TELS, MARBLEIZED AND DECORATED FURNI- TURE AND WASH. STAND TOPS. HEARTHS, FIRE GRATES, Et. a All Work Guaranteed to Give Batisfaction | Bone and at the Lowest Price. 8. A, STOVER, Ee Toe ot crea High Sve, Bion, Po. "ey. 20 Bo. Del. Ave, Philadelphia, [| Scar £ co, Orecomns Dim, Tiras ere ene = ~ SECHLER & CO. Provisions, t FOREIGN FRUITS And CONFECTIONERY. MARKET in Connection * fol pm A the PAPER HANGING, WILLIAMS & BRO. get a bottle of —— i CE —. - FORKS HOUSE Coburn, Centre Co., Pa. GOOD MEALS. NE YORK OBSERVER a v wens MODERATE, sa HOTEL WITHIN TWO TO STATION. ATTN SA ALN LECKNER - Prop'r., STUDIO. 12nd floor Bush Arcade, p. Iv. R . lams nou ready to do all kinds of “PAINTING, TRAITS in oil, ax ORNAMEN. DECORA- { GRAINING SPECIALIT) Satisfaction guara: steed in all Cases, I would be pleased tn have vou eall, and exam specimens of In- Work. SITUCLIOus given Painting. » na Very ResprcrrunLy, C. DP, filder, Quick Railway Time. Reckfo rd, Ii Jan, 1880. appointed sale of our Ata mi (Re owen is 8 I certify that we have of Bla, Eile agent Vor he Train Bai Wate fowule. Rockroxn Waren Conpany. BY HOSMER P. HULLAND. Sec. Having most thoroughly tested the Rock ford Quick Train Watches for the Inst three years, ! offer them with the K fullest confidence as the best made and | MOS! re lable time kee per for the money that can be obuained. I fully guaran F 2, \ oC every Watch for two years. INK P. BLAIR, 0. 2 Be k eval” Row i" . yo All. <e pire Deuros The Rockford wateh 1879, has perio Watch | ever every day irregular cheerfully Watch 1582 Feb. any carried | it been unrelinble, ? the Rockford HORTON, Furnace Co nasea betier than Have tine mea had, it ind st no Ling 1 Lhe ant recommend HOR si hg aton ['svvwe wkiord better tha ox, Sept, 18, Wateh 1881. The R Curateiy rine very ac » ane watch | ever owned, «nd he that cost 8150. Can recommond he Rockford Wateh to everybody who wishes a fine time keeper, 5. P HUBBARD, M. D, his ia to Wa yory certify teh bought Feb well the past that the Rockford oa 1879, ran Havis 8 sed 0 twice during that tuwe, ite only variation being three minutes. It hae ron very much better than | ever an ticipated, It was no* adjusted and only cost $20. RP. BRYANT HERBERT BUTTS PRACTICAL HARNESS MAKER, has Venr, oni | Hon Sr, XEXT DOOR 10 BEEZER'S Mea Marker. [14 prepared to do all kinds of Fancy and Heavy Harness Making at Reasonable Prices and IN THE » MostSkillful Manner. Repairing dome with meatness and dlepateh, We challenge competition in prices and workmaashi » Give us a trial and be convinced. AN work guaranteed before Jetving {ig Spar 400 or wi | ¥, Wv h 4 {43
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers