in An “Artless” Chap. “The, ve got an Art Loan up town, haven't they ' queried a a young man who was waiting for three or four hours ut the Union Railroad Station, the other day. “Yes, sir,” replied Officer Button, “How much to go in?’ “Ouly twenty-five cents.” ‘Do you draw a prize package, or aoything of the kind ¥”’ “I thwk pou” | “Don't they give you a chance in a | raffle Nu, sir.” § ot any live Injuns or | “Huve they g canvibals on exhibition | “Not that 1 koow of.” “(Got un “No, sir.” “l suppose they have some extra | | y elephants bigger thao | fine target-shooting in there ?” “They have nothing of the sort, sir Don't you know what an Art Loan | TY “Is it fis swimming around in | ks 7" sofily queried the young man r taking & moment to think. “No, sir. “No menagerie about it?” “No, sir.’ “It isn’t a panorama of the New York ?" “No, ’ “Taiu't Une “No, sir!" in ie loms Cabin? questioner, as “you needn't b it! wasn’t going wasn't g } and rope the us $ Loan AL Wi The Width Av the “I want & piece of on the outside, We' Use | planed levy. the | an’ the lower panel av the kicked out in the merriment.” “How grt ut! wide do you want the j C asked the carpent “The width av replied Mr. Donlev “Ard h “Well, it's as wide as a chair is long Ye kin jist | i to kape the children in an’ Ww the d jist, ay a chair an’ it fits as thouough it fur it.” ‘But all chairs are size,” said the carpent “Aw, t headed nor a railroad s hunder an’ comes up jist even 1 windy ill.” “But how high is the asked Mr, Chips.” “Bother the badgerin’ t growled Mr. Donlevs wideness av me hand thumb higher than barrel that stands « can’t make it from t the job, an’ I'll take er that understa the th RIOWS measure bead widout makin a nimself. Say, can ye cut av the size av that wood-buteher ve, man av your craft since ye wur born wid And he had to go find « — A — “I KEEP my eyes and ears open ull tie while when I am traveling, I do," remarked a garrulous passenger by way of explanation of the great fund of information, which he had occupied # solid hour in givie patient companions. “And your mouth, too,” tired listener, sotto voice. “Nothing escapes me,” continued the talkative man, not bearing the other's remark. “I never had the ad. vantage of schooling. I don't take much stock in education nobow. I helieve in a man keeping his eyes open learning for himself by observation Now, there's a horse—I know all about a horse, from tooth to tail, an’ I never studied none o' yer geographies nor natural histories, either. I know bt J “So you know all about a horse, do yon?" inquired a listeuer, with a de- mure air which gave promise of a “catch.” “Yes, indeed; know all about 'em- There ain't no question about a hoss I can’t answer, I've handled ‘em and g up to his over- observed a | 1 ] | | i or ac?! studied "em for twenty years, an’ that’s wuth mor’n all the books in creation. I" “Am glad to meet you, sir,” inter. rupted the demure one. “There's a point I'm in doubt about, and perhaps you can settle it. Why is it, when a horse goes away faom home he goes along tending to his business, annoy- ing no one and attracting no attention, while just as soon as a jackass gets |away from home he goes to wagging his ears, braying and giving himself away?” The know-it-all-man suddenly re- memberedjthat his wife was waiting for him in the next car. - A Dreadful Possibility. A Philadelphia paper tells this glory : “Do barbers ever go mad ?” echoed a barber in answer to a question asked “Well, 1 they're just as apt to become lunatics by a reporter. suppose as other people.” “Have you ever known of an io. | stance where a barber became a mani- | was asked. “I can’t say that I have. ber though that several years ago the | late Moses Nathans, the father of Phil- pawnbrokers, was getting Walnut street adelphia shaved at a shop on The barber lon a spree. While he | Mr. Nathans he was seized with deler- below second, was shaving ium tremens and glaring at his victim in the chair he raised his razor high in the air. Then throwing it on the floor he rushed hatless out of the and up Walnut st and fire “What becanx reet to-day, and no thirty, sixty aud ninety days the other fifty shall be paid in.” And be Kept his ward and made it je wnored., Since then, I am told he has made three million « in grain speculation. - Dipx'r MENTION STEERS. —A tll gate was recently established on a road leading to Little Rock, and an ! | old negro who came along with an ox team was much astonished when in-! formed that be must pay. | “Well, dis doan cap de climax,’ said he. | fur ridin’ on de train an' steamboat, but wanster charge him fur ridin’ in “bis own wagin.' “This is the law of the corporation, old man.’ ‘What's de copperation got ter do wid my wagin ?' ‘Got nothing to do with your wagon, but they have a right to make you pay for riding over their road.’ Ain't this a free country ¥ ‘Yes. But this is not a free rond, sir)! ‘But de road's in de country, What does yer law say yer may charge ?' ‘For one horse 5 cents; for a horse and buggy 10 cents; and two porses and a wagon, 20 cents,’ ‘Wall, dese heah ain't hosses,’ "case dat’s steers. De law doan say nuthin’ ‘bout dem. Whoa-a-har, come yeah,’ and to the great astonishment of the gate keeper, the old fellow drove Away, rm —— A — A Chicago Drummer. ‘May I have this seat?” she asked | of the genteel looking drummer whose | baggage was occupying it. ‘I don’t know, he answered politely. ‘It be- | longs to the railroad, you know, but I'll see the conductor, and maybe he can give it to you. She grew purple and said: ‘You don’t understand me, | can I take it? “Well, I don’t know that had been | lollars ‘Ain't satisfied wid chargin’ folks | { tiom and ask his advice.” | i N | “I don’t want to take the old thing, | she howled. | “‘No'm,’ blandly answered the drum. | for.’ ‘Well, can I sit down here,’ | mally screamed, after shifting from one foot to the other. ‘I don’t know, madam. You are the best judge of your muscular pawers.’ ‘Where do screamed, vou travel from,’ she ‘Chicago,’ he replied. “That settles » said meekly. vour valise and it,’ t he #0 ' - i Was I mean | either. | You see it is fastened very firmly to] | the car floor, and it would be a trouble | to get up; however I'll have a carpen- | ter to come on board at the next sta- | ‘Is this yoar traps on it? | | mer, ‘they belong to the firm I travel I remem- | she fi- | Attention, Veterans | 250 : We have endeavored to get the very best of every thing 30 G. A. R. SUIT JUST RECEIVED) Workmanship the best. Prices the Very Lowest, Fits Perfect. - ~~ A -— -— tr eh alal dd THESE ARE THE REGU- ad doin de id hdd adi NTTYrIN~ wi ddw, T | — A FT MAS a) wal Double Sets of Button nished Free. S & A LOEB. CURRY INSTITUTE ANID [Union Business College. 5 dve. ai i Nizvth Si A ALA Of W. Cor. Penn The Leading Normal School and Business College of Pittsburgh. OVER YEAR. 14 INSTLICTORS 0 STUDENTS LAST ! ¥ * Ire ( nservatery of Music Full Lessons for send fo res Ars Dé YOU BOOT or SHOE |! SECHLER & C0,., Grocers, Bush House Block, Bellefonte, Pa, NEW GOODS ~~ FOR SPRING an THE — | SUMMER TRADE! | ssn — in our line, and now have some really CHOICE GOODS. FINE CREAM CHEESE, SELECT OYSTERS, LARGE RIPE CRANBERRIES, BRIGHT NEW LEMONS, Princess Paper-Shell Almonds, Extra Large FRENCH PRUNES SWEET POTA TOES, ve PRUNELLES, IMPERIA L FIGS, FLORIDA ORANGES, Evaporated DRIED PEACHES A FULL LINE OF CHOICE CANNED FRUITS. PRESERVED PEARS, PEACHES, PLUMS and PRUNELLES, PLAIN CANDIES, FINE CONFECTIONERY, ~ AND GOODIES of all Sorts and Kinds 8a We invite the people of | GOODS. which cannot fail to 1-tf SECHI.ER and inspect our NICE & CO. a wn Ll wal ol am arty fa wptlar LA YORK OBSERVER Established 1823 NEW A oe ey A LIVE NEWSPAPER. ha N N York ‘ p aol & 32 Park Row, N. Y. PAINTI WILLIAMS & BRO, WALL PAPER PAINTS, AC, bot Soring & “ Wate B.11.7 » | MICHAEL COONEY'S lat » ously IRL OUS} again, but there was no resp “Ure she suddenly remarked, ‘if rge,’ vou would have been convected with the Greeley expedition I imagine you would have been a very robust survi. {vor., Why,' he asked. ‘The climate would have agreed with you and you could have feasted on icebergs. As George couldn't see the force of this [remark she got up aud lighted the | gas. >] —— A wife loses the sense of her own value in her love for a distinguished | husband ; a husband truly appreciates | himself first when be loves a noble wife. To tmpart a Practical Business Bduoation has, for many years and Th great sucess boon the alm of Dad's College, No, 45 Fifth Avénue, The faithivwl wtadent has facilities for wach a training a will ify him for an immediate entrance rpon Wo ll lnown Boot and Shoe Stand, Meo afl rly’ Build. ny, opp. Depot, INTE LLE} PENA GREAT INDUCEMENTS Bilin Marble Works INw | Ration, Rutland, Sutherland Falls, French Blue and Dorset Monuments, Tomb stones and Burial Vaults: ER GRANITE WORK A SPROTALITY “6a bie for Border. Tubular Galvanized Wrought Iron Fencing for Cemetery Lots and Private Yarda Grave Guards, Iron Settees, Chairs and Vases. Also, ENAMELED SLATE MAN. TELS, MARBLEIZED AND DECORATED FURNL. TURE AND WASH STAND TOPS. HEARTHS, FIRE GRATES, Eu. ————— All Work Guaranteed to Give Satisfaction and at the Lowest Price. Sutheriand Palle Pilling, with Isle La Motte Mar. | SALESMEN FAS pmictate h | E for env ¥Vralt and Oraamental Brock. A splodid line of new Specialties. Good wages, od steady v iven to reliable energeti Write E. B. Rionaxssox & Oc Sexpcs Lace Nonsense, GUeseva, N.Y he Cheapest and Best. me 5. T The cheapest is not always the best | | But the cheapest Ammoniated Bone | Phosphate that gives the best result is : Twenty-five Dollar PHOSPHATE. ADOPTED 1880 A Cheap and Reliable Crop Produ- cer that has given excellent results for five years. The best practical result ers who use this brand season after season in preference to any other. /a this instance the cheapest is the best. For circulars giving analysis and further information, cali on or » 8, A. STOVER, High Street, Bellefonte, Pa, 620-1y, BAUGH & SONS, Sole Manw're.’ Wie 0 be Del Ave, Phinduiphie have been obtained by intelligent farm. | FORKS HOUSE Coburn, Centre Co., Pa.™ GOOD MEALRS. CLEAN BEDS. PRICES MODERATE. KLECKNER STUDIO. floor Bush Ar ade, PAINTING, | PEA Is PA | 4 34 C. P. £Cilder. Quick Railway Time. “ t AND), See tested the rn } » Watches r the Lhe ana r 1 them 1 with made rihe money NTON,. Sent IR ISN e Rockford Wateh ru CUTriis« witlert 18 Very ad ch 1 ever ad that oost £150, mmond Rock ford Watch to everybody who wishes a Sne timekeeper, : {14 MAN any wat owned, and | have h Lv one Can rec the S. P. HUBBARD, M. D. This 5 to certify that the Rockford Watch bought Feb. 22, 1879. has run very well the past year, Having set it ite only only twice during that time, variation being three minutes. It has rum very much better than I ever an ticipated, It was not adjusted and only cost $20, R- P. BRYANT, HERBERT BUTTS PRACTICAL HARNESS MAKER, Hien Sr, Next poor 10 Brrzen’s Muar Marker. Is prepared to do all kinds of Fancy and Heavy Harness Making at Reasonable Prices and «IN THE [ Most;Skillful Manner. Repairing done with neatness and We challenge competition in prices and workmanship, Give us a trial and be convineed., All work guaranteed before leavin | the shop. Yim. ©
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers