The small boy stands Beside the pool, And with his hands The waters cool He fools, He lingers not, Nor time does waste, The weather's hot, Aud with great haste, He peels, > He Was a Voter. Some years ago, the students of a certain college in the state of New York were in the habit of voting in the town, as thay bad a right to do instead of at their homes. But one year the political party against which the studtnts had usually voted secured | control, and appointed two or three of | their adherants guardians of the bal- | lot box. As onestudent after another presented his vote, one of these offi cials, a pompous, strutting man, chal lenged him. Several students yielded rather than enter iuto a con- test with the “loud” man, last there came up a homely, awk ward student, gifted with a large stock of mother-wit. “Stop !"” cried the pompous man, im- peratively, as the student was about to vote. “Are you a voter, sir?” “Yes, sir,” drawled out the stu- dent, “Where do you live?” demanded the man, thinking to make short work of this green youth. “Why, here, sir.” “I mean where do you reside ?” “At the college, sir.” “Are you a student there ¥’ “Yes, sir.” “You are merely a student, and yet claim to reside here ?” “Yes, sir, I reside here. Where else should I live and attend this col- lege gid “You cnough,” I said the pompous “Don’t know what mean well mau, impatiently. away ?” “Of course I do, sometimes, you ever oO The safety of the town doesn’t require my constant presence,” drawled out the student, A laugh ud the pompous man grew red in the face, but he gathered himself up for a final effort. ran through the crowd, “Young man,” said he solemnly’ “these evasions are of no avail. An- swer me this one question: If you were sick where would you go to ?' The student hesitated, as if he did not like to say, “Home sir,” or “Where my parents live.” | “I insist on an answer,” persisted | the official, with a triumphant air of a man who has driven his opponent in- to a corner. o if o “Where would you g you were sick ?” “Well,” drawled out the student “if I must tell, I should—1I should—go to bed.” Amid the roar of laughter which rang through the town hall the pomp- ous man stepped aside, and the stu- dent handed in his ballot. — A — “I see you've got this confounded rye bread again,” hissed the breakfast table, “Yes, dearie,” smoothly replied the | lady. “I got it because you love it.” “Me love it, madam ? Ugh, the very smell of it makes me sick. Who was #0 wise as to know that I loved rye bread “Nobody,” stammered Mrs. Plunk- eit, “except I heard you tell Fitz goober a few day ago that you prefer lunkett a, | red rye to corn, and I dido’t know | what you referred to, unless it was bread.” When he went to work Plunket, kicked himself out of the door. “We are lost, everything gone,” he exclaimed, as he wrung his hands and paced the floor, “Not everything, Charles,” inter rupted his weeping wife. “The farniture 1s pawned,” he con- tinued, “the jewelry is pawned, the books are pawned and now the clothes of our backs. I cannot get work and we shall starve.” “Don’t despair, Charles; recollect you still have me left.” “I don’t see how that helps much. I cav’t pawn you.” ‘May iw said to be an unlucky month for marriages.’ An old bache- Lr says that, according to the les t'mony of his friends who bave slip- ped their into the matrimonial noose, the unlucky months for a 0 June, uly, cember, January, February, sad April. { § had | But at | A married man was before an in- quirendo de lunatico court and the testimony of various witnesses was being taken. Finally the hired girl in his family took the ‘Well, Bridget,” asked the judge, “do you think the gentleman is of un- sound mind ? stand. ‘Faith, sur, Oi can’t say phat is the matther wid his moind; but Oi’m sure he's that erazha he doesn't know noth- ing sur.) ‘How long has he been crazy ? ‘Oi don't know that, sur,’ ‘Well, what first led you to think he was crazy, I mean what did he do to make you think so? ‘Oi can’t tell jist whin it wuz, sur, but wan day several weeks ago, the | pore gintlemin was sittin’ in the room | wid his woife boi the foire, an’ all av a | seddint loike, he notished that the coal scuttle wuz impty, an’ insted af tillin’ | the lady to go to the shed an’ fill it up | | he { himself, sur. took it in his hands an’ done it {Oi knowed that something had hap- | pened the pore gintlemin.’ -> Edith—Why, my | where have you been so long? You | have not been here for several seasons, [ often think how fond vou used to be of croquet.’ Maud—'Yes, I was, and am yet for | that matter, though I seldom play now. ' You did not care for it, I remember.’ | Edith—'No I doted on lawn tennis and have played it right along every summer ; in fact, Iam just on my way to a game But whose child that Maud Maud—‘Mine years ago to tl ae now. 14 gentleman who, as you remember, was my partoer at here,’ Mar- Tar- he asi season | was ‘Ah! + and here I am still sadly) yi in ae Maud—( whispering )—*Drop tennis and go back to croquet.’ -— “Daughter,” said a loving mother t 4 to her daughter, as the latter was a the front gate and ready to start out | calling, “you'd better take your light- colored parasol; they say black draws | the sun.” “Oh, does it ? I will then keep the one I have got. will draw the The } i son I love.” ld woman smiled, and then } went back into the kitch her washing. Rays of Siranger yw do vou Very nice side that there 22 can leave daily. ‘Have you givea the , d you, Marion water as [I tol —No ma'am, and why should | they have not druok wi at ti yet?! An exc hange “AY Aa man wins to occupy half a seat when he gets mar ried. This i# true, and ater the first baby comes he begins to vecu,v hs of the outside bed rail. Never boast about anything tl at your conscience tells you you ought to | ¢ 0. If now, and ever was engaged to be mar- t. be ashamed you are a bachel ried don’t acknowledge i a bottle Isy,’ sings a Chicago poet, It must have been an empty bottle. And an empty bottle is a dreary subject for i | & Chicago man to sing about. { ‘Oh, shal I drink, or will I kiss? (asks a New York poet. if we | were a New York poet, it seems as if | we should do both, but take the kiss | first and the drink afterward, out of consideration for the girl. A small boy testified in a justice's court that the affray took place on a Sunday. ‘How do you know it was on a Sunday?" ‘Because that day I had to go to the side door of the saloon to get beer for dinner,’ Lillie Deverux Blake says ‘a bache. lor is a man who has lost the oppor tunity of making some woman misera. ble.” Just so, Lillie. It is impossible for a fellow to marry without making all the other girls who happen to be in love with him miserable. ‘I'd rather be a dog and bay rum than such a Roman!" exslaimed an excited barber on South 5th ‘avenue, as he addressed a primary meeting, ‘Pooch I" cried m listener. ‘What do you mean by pooh? inquired the speaker, wrathfully. ‘Only a joke, sir, I didn’t mean it. It was only a pooh! Now Whin he done that sur, | darling Maud, | I was married four months, en to cortinue | ‘In a cabin locker for many a vear ) : A gentleman on East Fourth street found a ragged tramp sitting on his front steps eating his lunch. ‘Here! What are you boing there ? he shouted. ‘Partaking of a slight lunch, Will you join me?’ the tramp politely re sponded. ‘No, I don’t want any of your vil lainous feed. “That's so ; it is pretty tough kind of fodder. I just got it out of your kitchen. her own cooking now. ‘What's that, you infernal hound ? Your wife must be doing | exclaimed the angry man, starting to- | ward the tramp, still sitting quietly on the step. ‘Don’t get excited, sir ; don’t get ex- Think a minute. cited, Aren't you mistaken in calling me a hound ? ‘No I'm uot, aud I'll’ ‘But, my dear sir, you are mistaken, ['am no hound; I'm a setter.’ { | | | | | | | | i i | i "ht | The gentleman gazed at the tramp lin admiration and muttering some- | thing about a newspaper paragraph. | er gone astray, he left him to finish his lunch. | — A —— | Little Dick——Won't you buy me a ) ) big of la toy pistol, for the Fourth of Ju and ly box fire-crackers { Mamma? Mamma-——No, dear; I'm afraid you will hart yourself. ~~ Little Dick—Well, you will get me a lot of pin-wheels and rockets, won't | you ? Mamma-—Why, the very idea hor- rifies me. You might set yourself on ight go off fire, or perhaps the rocket mi me 44) ten ui 8 n, and carry you up. : i ap H Little Dick—You will an excursion, anyhow, 1 Mamma——No, dear you sre so reck 131 u uld he MiG loss vi to get drowned Wi sure or something. Little Dick celebrate the Fourth of July ? Ww alle But what shall 1 [de to 1 ell, Mamma if you are a goo boy, I will Ww you winter flannels. Mrs. Nobody | home; bat | Countess am so LLC 34) was in hopes you would Yi t v husband with thre YOu. bring your me ¢ months since Wi | was married, is it pot? And how I hope it | New Countess (wearily) —Yes three hree mouths, “The Count is well, 1 hope ‘Yes, he is, I believe.’ ‘And I sup 1 : se you enjoyed life in & grand castle ? r a while, ves: but you see it took my fortune to off the old debts pay ‘Indeed, Poor child, I wish I | could he ip you eT, ' 1 OU Can ‘How ! : #t me have your family wash I’ —— Brown ‘ by to her the paper,’ said Mrs. husband, ‘that your riend Jones has had a handsome bull- log presented to him by his admiring | friends.’ 14! Ait Good gracious, is it possible?” ex- claimed Mr. Brown. How injudicious Why, that will ruin him.’ Why so? ‘Why, the man has four marriage. Rant : {able daughters that he is trying to get ‘Ruin him. { off his hands.’ | - i | another yesterday, ‘are you going to ‘Carrie,’ said one Somerville girl to | the pienic to-morrow ¥' | ‘I am, are you ¥ | ‘Of course. ‘What do you intend to wear ?' ‘My white muslin, of course. What do you intend to wear ’ ‘I will wear my waterproof cloak. I've been at picnics before,’ - ‘Who own this hotel ?' ‘Mr. Blank am de 'propietor here, sah.’ your actions tnat the waiter ownad the hotel,’ ‘Oh, no, sah, but the guests.’ A colored man not long ago went to the counting-room of a newspaper of Galveston, Texas, to subscribe for it. ‘How long do you want it?’ asked the clerk. ‘Jes as long as it is, boss ; if it don't fit de shelves I can ta'r a piece off myself.’ A lady residing in the northeastern part of the town, recently wanted the services of an Indian to pick a goose, She approached the first one she met with: ‘Jim would you like to come and We doan own nuffin’ i ‘Glad to hear it. I thought from pick & goose for me?’ Then the noble red man thus addressed drew himself up to his | full height, expanded his chest with | pride and indignation and haoghtily inquired : ‘You know me ‘No, I don’t know you, responded the lady, somewhat surpised, ‘Ugh I’ grunted the Indian, as if pitying her ignorance, ‘me Captain Sam. Me pick no goose Me send my wife. -> A wealthy New York gentleman advertised for a coachman, Among those who applied for the position wus one who answered ull the requirements, ‘I will hire you for a year at fifty dollars a month.’ “The salary is all right, but—- ‘But what?’ ‘I would like to ask you this ques. tion.’ ‘What is it? ‘Are you President o f any National bank, and do you speculate in Wall $ 7 La slrese ‘What's that your business ?' ‘Well, if you do, I want my wages in advance. — —— ‘James.’ said the lawyer to the new flice boy, ‘do you think you could t a collector with a bill against me from or | a gentleman who wanted to secure my services 7’ ‘I guess I could gsr. ‘How ? ‘Why, I'd tell around next fall. out, ’ both of em to — OLD GENTLEMAN Mise .— I am delighted | avery charm- to have met you Bonniface, 1, wr grandmother er grace and beauty. ew y form ( ng woman a Can no concep fi 8) ih Miss Peopl her Living mage. Bonniface,—'Ob € constanliy tell Utter collapse of old gentleman. a — A New Jersey edit i 3 wr editorally com- of tl plains 1e indolent habits of hens when the pric e { eggs Was 80 outrage ously high, aud the next day one of chickens ia sponded to an encore for several suc his laid two eggs and re. cessive days. And vet some persons f the argue that the power of press is waning. C—— L~'Papa, did mamma 1 | Litre Gin say yes to you right off when you ask- ed her to marry you? Cer. bh she did.’ don’t she say yes now just as quick | when you ask o do things? | Pa | Papa tainly Little girl—'Why t i he r pa—'Mamma's hearing is not as or - ood now, darling—that's all.’ -> Tene is no time in a man's life that he feels so independent as when he goes into a restaurant, and after keeping the waiter standing at the table for about fifteen minutes while he scans the bill of fare, finally says with the air of a Brown, ‘I guess you may bring we a plate of beans. - ‘Doctor, 1 come to see you about my younger brother. ‘What is the matter with him? One of his legs is shorter than the other, and he limps. Now what would | you do in a case of that kind ¥’ ‘I reckon I'd limp too.’ Cs. A —— - Pa, why is a receiver Little Jack. so called ? Pa—What kind of a receiver do | you mean ? Little Jack—Why, I mean the kind that is appointed when a company gets in a tight place. What does a receiv- er receive! Pa~—Pretty much all there is, my N son. Mos’ married folks quarrel more or less,” remarked Uncle Mose; ‘but I knows a man an’ his wife that hasn't had a furse fur de las’ five yeahs’ ‘Am dey libbin togedder.’ ‘Sartinly ! dey libs in de same house. She goes off ebery mawnin’ and washes by de day. ‘Bat p’raps dey quarrels at night. How does yer know dey doan ‘Dey doan hab er Bit o'trouble, I | tell yer. She am out washin' all day} an’ her husban’ he am night watchman in a big sto’ on Austin avenue. He gous off befo’ she goes home an’ he oan on fur de lav’ five yeahs, an’ de git back in de mawnin’ until she has gone out washin’. Dat's been n gu cross word hasn't passed | between om yit! | SECHLER & CO., Grocers, Bush House Block, Bellefonte, Pa. NEW GOODS | ‘ — FOR THE — SPRING and SUMMER TRADE! 4 + go ‘ri » y 4 i 1 We have endeavored to get the very best of every thing in or EE —— ir line, and now have some really CHOICE GOODS. FINE CREAM CHEESE, SELECT OYSTERS, LARGE RIPE CRANBERRIES, BRIGHT NEW LEMONS, Princess Paper-Shell Almonds, Extra Large FRENCH PRUNES, ov» SWEET rPorTA TOES, PRUNELLES, IMPERIAL FIGS, FLORIDA ORANGES, Evaporated DRIED PEACHES A FULL LINE OF CHOICE CANNED FRUITS. PRESERVED PEARS, PEACHES, PLUMS and rr PLAIN CANDIES, FINE UNELLES. CONFECTIONER Y, GOODIES of all | win RY # . . 2 . fT We invite the people of Centre GOODS, which cannot fail to please I1-tf ‘ i LL - 3 oe party ia polities, nor any scot in relizlion THEOGREATEST AND TH THE LAY ne : Established 1823. Ris or § ww i LIVE NEWSPAPER. LAR § giving every week a Rews Swany fo th a Fe Let niaining all rents sven rice i» 85 14 1", a hill | BORER give ‘ Inewrve Levvess,” an ole [mes KY we £ » phen of the ERYEA w esent 1 Address Now York “or. 31 & 32 Park Row, N Ooms e 3°4 X. PAINTING and PAPER HANGING, WOREMANSIHIP THE BEST FRICES THE LOWEST PROMPTINESE AND DISPATCH WILLIAMS & BRO. DEALERS IN WALL PAPER PAINTS, &C, HIGH Bt bet Bpring & Water, Bellefonte We take 1} TT v o i & method of f ve wi we } {f Wall York, wis Solid Golde Mics, Fiata, Murine, Blacks and Ber ders in Great Yariety ¥ That we have Pred Beck's New Book furnish and put up a» fine and rat SET E TE i. That we wt of Ce reced pet up anywhere avite all wh . ver { ade before ith. We have ere and pal nters, as PAINTING Py ut employ Gre % are prejmred take Joiw GRAINING, 81G8 WRITING, PAPER HANGING, L and « ne paper § plete the work with pestnes EF Trade from the ¢ muniry solicited WILLIAMS & BROTHER ADVICE TO MOTHERS. Are you disturbed at night snd broken of your est | by a sick child saffering and crying with pain of cut tng teeth? If so, wend at once and £*t a bottle of Mes. Wissow's Soorming Svaur ron Onnones Termine, Its value is incalenlabie, It will relieve the poot little suflerer Immediately, Depend upon it mothers, there Is no uw 108 ke about IL. [tt cures dis | eatery and diarrhos, reg lates the stomach and bow. els, cures wind colic, softens the fume, reduces in Sammation and gives tone and energy to the whole, system. Mas, Winsiow's Boorstime Stave ron Cui REx TRermivs is pleasant to the taste, and ia the pre, scription of one the oldest and best female physi ! clans and burees in the United States, and is for sale by all draggiets thr the world. Price 20 sents » bottle, s1dy | vow WANTED «Toolicit orders SALESME! for onr¥Frait and Ornamental Stock. A spledid line of new Specialties. Good wages, | and steady employment given to reliable energetic men. Write for terme to KE. B. Ricnansson & Mo. 130 Sexpos Lace Nunsenins, Geneva, N.Y A Question | Answered. | WHY is the Twenty-five Dollar Phosphate THE BEST! BECAUSE it costs less than any other standard ammoniated animal Bone Super. Phosphate in the Ameri. can market, and nets as well as the best, mune THE wie Twenty-five Dollar PHOSPHATE. For circulars giving analysis and furthor aly Promptly or BAUGH & SONS. 8 Manyg'rs;| SEKCHLE] | most reliable time kee | timekeeper. | only twice during that ti | variation being three mi . » . & CO. FORKS HOUSE Coburn, Centre Co., Pa. GOOD MEALS CLEAN BEDS. WITHIN TWO MIN. K i | ST AT nr 10 STATION. unds 4. le JOS. KLECKNER - Prop'r. STUDIO. 2nd floor Bush Ar cade, P as I Ir, Bothrock's Ie § y ail kinds 0 NC, . LAND ORNAMEN. ! RA. I GRAINING read fo d AINTI ORTRAITS SN. AJGA 1 PES, y TAL. FA) TiNG \V'( DEC pivased to havi i elamine specimens of wor structions given in Painting. Very ResrrcrruiLy. C. DP. fCilder, Quick Railway Time, Rockrory Waren Conpany BY HOSMER P. HULLAND. See Having most thoroughiy tested the Rock ford Quick Train Watches for the last three years, ! offer them with the fullest confidence as the best made and per for the money that can be obiained. fully Juaranice every Watrh for ¢ FRANK P. BLAIR other American Watcher at of redu NS t urchased The Rockford IR79, has perform Watch | ever ha every day and al no irregular, or in the cheerfully Watch, Lier Have ne hb taan carried it ti been able, ! ) it least unre recommend the Rockford HORACE B HORTON al Dighton Furnace Co. be Tavsrox, Sept, IS, 1881 The Rockford Watch runs : curstely ; better than sny wat owned, and | have had $150. Can recommond Watch to everybody very ae ch | ever one that cost the Rock ford who wishes a fine S. P. HUBBARD, M D. This ia to certify that Watch bought Feb, 3, very well the past year, the Rockford i879, has run Having sel it me, its only nutes, Jt run very much better than | ever hile ticipated. It was no* adjusted and cost §20, R. P, BRYANT, HERBERT BUTTS PRACTICAL HARNESS MAKER, Hien Sr, xexr poor 10 Bexzenr's Mea Marker, Is prepared to do all kinds of F and Heavy Harness Making at Bis Reasonable Prices and IN THR Most;Skillful Manner, dene with neatnees and —_
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers