Very Prudent Young Man. It was a beautiful might in June, and as the stars were keeping their si- lent vigil the lover hung upon the gate, “Won't you come in Reginald?" “No, I guess not, Amy.” “Id like to have you ever so much, Mother is away. Aunt Neil has gone to bed and father is laid up with the gout, and it's dreadful lonesome,” “Your father has got the gout ?” “Yes, Reginald in both legs.” “In both legs, Amy ?” “Yes, in both legs.” “Sure he has got it in both leg “Yes, sure,” “All right, I'll on i come in then,” edb 3 A young lady was wheeling her married sister's twin babies along the street, and a close observer could have noticed her halt for a second, appear flush com- crimson mounted her cheeks. She saw ing up the street her old beau whom embarassed, while a she had not seen for two years as he | had been away. naturally supposed his sweetheart had ‘been married during his absence, so he began grinning as he drew near, tipped his hat and passed on, congrat- glating himself on the fate he had es- caped. - | victuals PATERFAMILIAS, who is perusing the morning paper at breakfast, meets | with an item that excites his utmost surprise. He says to materfamilias . “My dear, only think of it! 000 000.000 000 of eggs are consumed country annually; where, in they in this ’ 1 mercys name, can all coe from ?” without some- Materfamilias, not thing of a tone of reproachful sar | casSm : “Chiefly from hens, I would sup- pose.” The head of the house resumes his reading with a mental objurgation at the literalness of some people. Wirt HAVEN sernaded his girl last night, and when he had got threugh | gave the bride a rousing smack on the | singing the first song a female Irish voice was heard at a front upper story window, as to wit : ‘Is that you, Bill,'} ‘Yes; where's Mamie ¥ ‘Faith an’ she hain’t the ice-cream saloon yit wid Mr. Ar. cher. got home from (ive us another song Bill; the old folks are out, too. Give us Swate Violet. - — A A—s Every young lady should learn to | nake her own dresses. There may come a time after marriage when she will need to make doll babies’ dresses, and then her former experience wil come into good service. ‘I HAVE a bright prospect before me,’ said the loafer, ‘You always will have; remarked Fogg": ‘I don't think you will ever catch up to it. Ir there is any girl who doesn't like to pop the question, even f it is leap year, she can get around it by asking her young man if he'd be willing to £11 in bis name on her marriage cer. tificate, -> - How do you pronounce stingy? a3 the teacher of the dunce of the class, The boy replied ; ‘It depends a great deal whether the word refers to | & person or bee.’ - - WE heard of a man the other day who was said to be mean enough to steal a coat of paint, Jut he can't equal the party who tried to steal a dog's pants. Tae proper question to ask a young woman wno is about to elope, is :— ‘Does your mother know your route ?' i — A — : Tue great events in the life of Chicago man are his first pants’ his first love, his first wife, his first baby and his first divorce, ‘Yes, my boy," said Mr. Maloprop to his son, ‘animals that eat meat are cabuniforous, while those like ourselves that eat both flesh and vegetables, are amphibious’ Wee a maiden becomes a fisher of men she should use genuine bait. Meo are shy of a hook that is “too fly,” as the Eoglish say. Tus is the time of the year when the pretty picnic girl with the trim aokle and neat boots calls out “sankes !” 3 Of course, the fellow | mother | | | It is useless to attempt to de- | scribe the feelings of the young lady. |and 10,- | { southern railroads A Lost Chance, “Not five minutes before that elec. tric light tower fell the other evening,” said one citizen to another, yesterday, “I passed it with my wife, A little later one or both of us would have been killed.” “I see, “How-—why did “Probably only one would have been killed, and the survivor would have received at least 85,000.” It was too bad.” The first speaker is still looking up the street at the spot where the second disappeared. r—- di— - Coroner McLkon, although not a bad man at heart, uses very rough lauguage in his intercourse with his | family. Oo returning to his home ago he found his wife very much ex- cited over the outrageous conduct of a tramp, who being dissatisfied with the { food given him by Mrs. McLeod, had {abused her in a most outrageous man- ner. “Johnny,” said Colonel McLeod to his ten-year-old son, “when you heard { that cowardly scoundrel abusing your why store quick and let me know ? Didn't you hear | “Yes, pa. 1 the stab] the Was oul in | about and heard what he sai ma gave him how | abused hi r, but “But what { “I thought it was you | He used the same words you the dinner don’t suit YOu. " 3 11 think anvbody else would dare talk t | ma that way.” —— IRAVELER | the foll ae i — south from the On one of the A reports ust Win or » there a station 3 Is called “Sawyer.” Lately a newly married couple boarded the train and | was very loving indeed. | bride about 200 times, Finally the station i, | the whistle was sounded the | a serene quiet. { question was reache groom | lips, the brakesman opened the door { and shouted “Sawyer ! “What's that?” | groom, looking over hb Sawyer!” led shoulders at res pone {the brakesman. “Sawyer! Sawyer!” “Well, I n't did; she's my wife,” — “I wouLnp like to di care a darn if we — ASN some ice cream, dear,’ hesitatingly in the windows of “but | Brooklyn a few days ag a 2a after that disasterous affair « 4 BIN ATrn) 1to,”” and he made an atten i i ahead. “What she hands, “Why, over one hund: sel | people were poisoned from a sing aifair i |! asked, hol freezer.” “It must have ~ ! een Lerrihle George, dear, there is a possibility « } {our escaping with do die.” girl him a look of love unutterable here the heroic | will die together.” i -> A YouNG gentleman from Higbee, { her bund and heart and was accept ed. He told her that he had something {on his mind for a long time, but he was afraid she would get mad. | She wanted to kuow what i (then, and he made her promise not to it was get mad. Says he : “I have two brothers in the peniten- tary.” “That's nothing,” replied she; “I have two brothers in the Arkansaw Legislature.” ‘Waar Daisy ‘Damn.’ “Why, you wicked child, where did you hear that word ¥ ‘Why, Marion, that’s what my Uncle George says—'Damn the dog — — is your doggie's name Miss Frorusxor MArRYAT is come ing here from England to lecture up- on the question : ‘What shall we do with our men?” You make a sad mis take, Florrie, if you think our aver age American girl isn't pretty well posted on thatsubject already. If you doubt it just make a visit of the watering places. | from his place of business a few days | | {and said ’ | dido’t you run to the] The brakes_ | | man noticed the gushing groom kiss the | and just after |” I | old maids got to do with the clover our lives, and if we while calling on his girl asked her for | Sweet innocence—*Ma, is it wrong | H . . . . » i to kiss a man you are not engaged | his cap into the air and catching it | to? Ma Certainly, | after his father had told him to keep | | ‘ . ui " . i my dear, very | his cap on his head. Finally his father wrong.’ { lost patience, After a brief, but pain. | | + . » ‘There now, that’s just what I told | ful interview the parent threw the | them,’ { strap and asked ; “Told whom ? | ‘Why Dick and Charlie, and Arthur and Will, | ‘Now do vou know where your cap and Jack, and Tom | should have been # “Yes, sir,’ sobbed the boy, rubbing and Bob and Al, and Sam sud Gus, | himself where he needed it most; ‘It and ————' should have been under wy clothes, Bat ma had fainted, -> | with sudden inter. gs Attention, ‘Oh, I forgot to tell you that I was | | r engaged.’ | \ ' " «| ‘Really ? clerans ‘Oh, yes, avd I'm so happy I dow’t | kuow what to do. ‘That's just the way I felt, but after {you have been engaged thirteen or | 250 fourteen times you won't give it a sec ond thought. Indeed, you'll have to stop to think of his name.’ i - -> A vyouxag lady from 20 LAR | SUITS JUNT RECEIVED. Y or who is visiting friends in Wethersfiel the New k, d, house, saw a yoke of oxen go by ‘Oh, how I would like a good, { irink of milk from those cows!” § She 15 morally afraid of cows, ane yo one suddenly one day she ng 0 frightened to run ; so, poki parasol at the beast she stuttered het | Lie down, sir! Lie d — A — that Blaine will ' wih ‘1 near or (Guaranteed. Workmanship the best. ‘I'm an Oirishmar ne maviernal Price the Very Lowest, but maintained | in | Fits Perfect. THESE ARE THE REGU- LATION SUITS. ‘Dere’s a man unl ading cord wi Double Sets of Buttons Far nished Free. der lane — They were sitting on a st op and as ol he | 1 MEER A— » nwmtt § tts i i asked tlAT TH LISHED | 19. & BAGGAG ND LOC w a EXTAI STAND OF E DELIVERY AL EXPRESS. cause | haven't | cream this evening.’ | watched the play on the silent waters - over crop depends upon old A toa Sun * patrons i erved a scientist NOS MOVED GUARANTER] What bave ARARY ® init I dot | crop y ‘Why, old maids kee ps cats, cats eat field mice, field mice destroy the larve the bumble bee, and the bumble! of bes sutain the clove er. on. ‘Yes,’ said a New York man with a is the only insect that fertilize and | “wl | sigh, ‘times are harder than they ever | ‘ ' were before in this country. ‘Nonsense,’ said a neighbor, wlraklom caneed | FATS TREATREATY, » “The volt Nearaiate, Tests rr ! A . ue HF Ww sen, Menta! D { country is prosperoas; money is plenti- | p= wis Bebop Boy ty ut [ ful. AL A ng } . > . | wot aime ¢ » ’ Ford Bete pee tet) Ce | ‘Money plentiful" exclaimed the | seston av So mae ior 55,00 by mat pre | Pebd on revwipt of prim WE CUARANTCE CIX DOXES ¥ feeeived by ow br in Tororasareass, Wik » » > a - NEA wa wT eend the prchame rout Nobody panies 16 Fatuad Une tones if SH0 Sosstinent Gust ion l only by M Tern Sgomet, I {other, ‘why, I don’t believe there is a |dollar in New York city. - seems to have a cent.’ | “What makes you think so ‘T have been soliciting subscriptions or the Barthholdi Pedestal Fund.’ LoTert a care, Guarantees LISSER & NEXDRISON, LETT AR Thm colabrntod vapotatin Heed Purdon, 11 mmediete s cnren Mandaebn, Comet lgniton, Vu tog the Nin Matin ony where Peewipt of 23 ersia Unsurpassed for Cuts. EISNER & MECHDELSON, 320 Roce Htreat, Philadelphia, Pa. HOMES FOR SALE! Come and Buy, 21 ACRES ON FIFTH AVENU In whole or lots. sheiphle, Pa ‘Hi! Mikey! let's play broker. You | give me your cigar; that'll be the cap- | ital, and I'll blow you the smoke; that'll be the interest.’ Mikey—'But you'll use up all the capital.’ A TWOSTORY BRICK ‘What's the matter with yer; ain't : on Alleghany Street. that ther way ther brokers do ¥ ' A TWOSTORY BRIC ———— - On High street, Tux cruelty of women's criticism | A TWOSTORY BRICK sometimes goes beyond life. ‘Did you On Thomas street. ever sé a more natural cor A TWOSTORY FRAME than Mrs, Podeon? asked a lady On Willow Bank street, $1800 of a friend. ‘Such a contented | A TWOSTORY FRAME smile,’ On Willow Bank street, $1200 ‘Contented smile I" said a friend; ‘it | A TWOSTORY FRAME was all put on.’ On_Bishop street, - All in the Borough of Bellefonte, ‘SrxTEEN feet make old arithmetios. But Ay Terms Made aay. - ” a rod,’ says the then the Chie {| scription of one | clans and nurse, Be | » bottle i 'SALESMEN | Stock | men in domnows | of gl dd wt sO VALENTIN, AN Austin boy kept on throwing | SECHLER & C0,, Grocers, Bush House Block, Bellefonte, —- aaa RAL SNE CHR— Pa, NEW GOODS — FOR THE — SPRING and SUMMER TRADE! We have endeavored to get the very best of every thing z in our line, and now have some really CHOICE GOODS. FINE CREAM CH EESE, SELECT OYSTERS, LARGE RIPE CRANBERRI ES, BRIGHT NEW LEM ONS, Princess Paper-Shell Almonds, Extra Large FRENCH PRUNES, SWEET rPoT4 TOES, PRUNELLES, IMPERIAL FIGS, FLORIDA ORANGES. Evaporated DRIED PEACHES A FULL LINE OF CHOICE CANNED FRUITS, PRESERVED PEARS, PEACHES, PLUMS and PRUNELLES PLAIN CANDIES, FINE CONFECTIONERY, ~AND ~~ GOODIES of all QQ, LE AN a ————— Be=We invite the ar o - roi THEGREAY Established 1823 ri The Op BYR g oaesye a A LIVE NEWSPAPER. Cpppe * PAINTING and PAPER HANGING, THE BEST LAW Key Ns ANI WORKMANS! PRICEs THY FROMPTNS WILLIAMS DEALERS ISPATCH & BRO, N WALL PAPER PAINTS, &C, HIGH Bt bet Bellefonte Wet : & everybody Spring & Water, ot. That we have in stock the Las tiiladel phi Bron nes Beautif t at vr 3 we, Flats, Ratios, Blacks » ore in Groat Variety { re ved ros sw Yor f Coiling Designs. We “la rate Ceiling Dec. panywhere te wll wh sie before “my © prepwr w Book Pas eT fines iat we niend papering te ror all ne of ng vlsewhore hang bw have jis fers, & flewtc lame paper tke GRAINING, SION WRITING, and PAPER HANGING, * and pa FPAINTI®G g the work with neatness untry solicit WILLIAMS & BROTHER ADVICE TO MOTHERS. Are you diets at night and broken of your est ¥ a vick child sufle € and ng with pain of cut fing teeth? If so, send at 1 got » bottle of Mas. Wisstow's Soormise rok Omiioses Tortus, ls value It will relieve the poot 1Mtle sufferer ime toly Depend upon 1 mothers, thers is no & 188 ke about it It cures dys ntery and diarrhoes reg intes the mtomach and bow ele, Cure win bo Soiiens the gums, redu Bammation and gives tone and energy to the whole Mas, Winsiow's Foormine $9277 004 Lite REN Torrmine is pleasant to the taste, and the pre hee . eyslem videst and best female phyr United States, and is for sale by all druggist. 1) . ¢ world. Price 25 conte bT-1y WANTED solicit orders fer st Frait A spledid line of new Spe and steady employment given able energetic Write for terms to KE. B. Ricnannson & 0 Saxnos Lage Nonsense, Guava, N. % Orfnmen tal (PRE RES in | A. Question Promptly Answered, WHY is the Twenty-five Dollar Phosphate THE BEST? BECAUSE it costs less than any other standard ammoniated animal Bone Raper Phosphate in the Ameri. can market, and acts as well as the best. mn THE wae Twenty-five Dollar PHOSPHATE. ADOPTED 1879 For circulars giving analysis and further information, call cn or address, BAUGH & SONS. Sos Mamy'rs, 20 Bo. Del, Ave, TH tel; bin, | Inst three years, | 1 IR79, has performed {every day and at no | cost $20, people of Centre county to | GOODS, which cannot fail to { 1-tf | EE —————————————— FORKS HOUSE Coburn, Centre Co., Pa. GOOD MEALS. CLEAN BEDS. PRICES MObERA TE. se HOTEL wre \ Il WITH i Excellent Hunting ss JOS. KLECKNER - Prop’. STUDIO. 2nd floor Bush Arcade Root I I am now read: to do all kinds of PAINTING, PORTRAITS LAND ESN. AIGA RNA WEN ORA FANCY RAINING I) Ee iri ¥ given iu Very Respect: C. P. icilder. Quick Railway Time, Rocks. Rock roxn Waren Conpaxy BY HOSMER P. HULLAND. Sec Having most the roughly tested the Rock ford Quick Train Watches for the offer them with the fullest confidence as the best made and most reliable time keeper for the money ! that can be obtained. I fully guarantee ov ery Watch for ta FRANK P. BLAIR, No. 2 Brockerh Amer: WH RIC hi " years, » ¥ Row ¢ All other ot reduced prices, mm ox, Jaa ch =i, 1882 Fel better than any Have carried it ‘ ‘ has it been Irréguinr, or in the least unreliable. I cheerfully ommend the Rockford Watch. HORA( EB HORTON, at Dighton Furnace Co, The Rockfor! + purchased Watch I ever had Lime go Iavxrox, Sept, 18, 188]. lhe Rockford Wateh runs very ac curately ; better than anv wateh I ever owned, and | have bad one that cost $150. Can recommond the Rock ford Watch to everybody who wishes a fine timekeeper, S. P. HUBBARD, M.D. This ia to certify that the Rockford Watch bought Fab, 22, 1879. has run very well the past year, Having set it only twice during that time, its only It has variation being three minutes. { run very much better than 1 ever an. ticipated. It was not adjusted and onl R- P. BRYANT, HERBERT BUTTS FRACTICAL HARNESS MAKER, | Hion St, ¥EXT pooR 10 Brezen's Mar Marker. Is prepared to do all kinds of F and Heavy Harness Making at Reasonable Prices and «IN THR. Most;Skillful Manner, Repairing done with neatness and dispatch, We challenge competition in prices and workmaaship, Give ue a trial and be convineed,
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers