no Was no Thiof.
"Gentleman,'' said an Arkansas'
Colonel, as he stood under the limb of
a tree from which depended a rope, "I
must protest my innocence. 1 did not
steal the mule. I am above petty
theft. I know that you all have the
interest of the community at heart,
and I do not blame you ; but there are
times when we are all liable to be too
rash. If I had stolen the mule, my guilt
would oppress me until f would bglo
be put out of the world in the most
summary way."
"The mule was found in your poses
sion," said the leader of the mob.
"Very true, my dear sir."
"Did he jump into your lot ?"
"No, sir, I conducted him to the
confines of my premises."
"Did you buy the animal ?"
"No, sir."
"Did you trade hint?''
"I did not."
"Then who stole him ? Is't down
the rope, boys."
"Gentleman, I hope you will give
me a chance to explain. The mule in
question was tho property of one of
our distinguished fellow citizens, Maj.
Bugle sherry. Borne time ago the j
Major and I exchanged a few words
of an uncomplimentary nature. I in
timated that the Major's blood would
be highly satisfactory to me, and the
Major said that mv gore would please
him mightily. Well, we sepaiated
thoroughly agreeing with each other.
The next day the Major nn<l I met, I
got what is vugararly called the drop
ou him, and relieved him of the top of
his bend. He was riding a mule at the
time, and vhen he fell off I saw that
he had no practical use for the animal,
so I took charge of him. Now, it' I
had dismounted in the way he did, I
should have interposed no objection to
the Major taking my horse."
"I hope, sir, that you will excne
us," replied the leader of the molt.
"We thought that you stole the mule. (
Your explanation is most sai-fn< t iry,
and I hope you'll excuse us. Let us
all take a drink."
"ARE you still a member of the
Temple liabtist Church?"
she answered, "but it'* very j
pokey, and I'm getting awfully tired
of it.''
"Tired of it! You surprise me."
"Do I. Then you can't imagine what ;
it is. In Mrs.Sprawl's church they're
trying the clergyman for bigamy ; at
Mrs. Chiszletoa's there's a jolly row
among the deacons ; Mr. Jorkios tells
tue a big scandal is brewing in their j
congregation, and unless something
exciting hap|ens in our church pretty i
soon I know I shall have to attend di
vine services somewhere else."—l'fk'f
San.
A BOY was standing tit Last One-
Huudred-and fourth street surrounded
by seven dogs of seven sizes and
lengths of hair. He was feeding them
with small pieces of bread and scraps
of meat which he pulled from his
pockets at exasperatinglv long inter
vals.
"You seem to like cb-gs," ail the
man to the boy.
"Yis."
"Are all these dogs yours ?"
"Naw."
"What are you feeding them for,
then ?"
"Cuz."
"Because what ?"
"Cuz they catches easier w'en the
pun's open."— Next York Sun.
"IT'S deuced queer, y' know," said a
dudish Englishmen to the conductor
during a brief chat in a smoker on the
Pennsylvania road, "and I cawn't un
derstand it."
"Can't understand what ?' asked a
drummer who set in a seat behind.
"I beg pardon, y' know, but I hink
ii. is ah, very strange that you Ameri
cans make so much fuss over human
monstrosities, y' know."
"Not at all strange," said the drum
mer; "in fact, we take a pardonable
pride in them."
"You surprise me, sir," gasped the
Britisher, opening his eyes so wide that
his single barreled glass fell out of its
socket. "Why should such horrid
creatures lie thought of so highly y'
know ?"
"Because this is a freak country,"
chuckled the commercial traveler. —
Travelers Magazine.
Dialogue between two individuals
in a furious rage:
"You are an idiot!"
"And you are a fool!
"You shall give me satisfaction for
this iosult."
"I am at your orders."
"Your hour?"
"Whenever you please."
"The place ?"
"Wherever you wish."
Both in the same breath
"I will lie there!"
And they separated, convinced that
they had arranged for a hostile meet
ing.—Ex.
'•Captain," said the reporter, as he
etbow'ed his way into the circle, "how
large waves did you see on the lakes?"
"Well, let's sec. Do you mean
within the last five years ?"
I mean any time since you have
been sailing."
"Oh—ab ! Well, sir, twenty years
ago, when I used to sail the bark
John p. Skinner, I saw waves on the
Hagfnaw Bav which must have been
ft
"Go on."
"Say," observed the captain, "please
ask some of these gentleman their
opinion."
There were wix other captains in the
circle. Two of them said they had
seen waves fifteen feet high ; two more
agreed ou tweuty feet, und the other
pair thought they had seen a few
waves running around loose which
must have been ull of twenty five feet
high.
"Now, then, captain," said the re
porter to the first.
"Well, sir," replied tho captain,
"being that the other gentleman have
given in their figures, 1 will say that I
have seen wuves on Baginaw Bay ex
actly fifty one feet and seven inches
high. 1 took a ladder und a tape-line
and measured 'em and I know I
knocked off at least ten inches of their
tops in reaching up !"
Ho came last, and the other cap
tains could only nurse their despera
tion. —Kr.
"('lominta,'' sail a sorrowful swain
to his heart's desire, "this is the third
time that your father has requested me <
to remove my person front these prem- !
. . j
••Heed him no!,'* subbed the fair
one ; "do not g'-
"I must."
•Inst then the farmer's steps echoed j
ad<>en the hallway.
"You need not come in, old gentle
man," said the departing lover ; "thr e
remove- are as good a- fire."
And he clutclu-d hi- sombrero and
departed — Jioetui t Courier.
A young man who was going to
marry a girl concluded he would hank
out and told her -o.
"But I'll hold ye ll," she said.
"No, you won't either."
"I will, too."
"Well you won't all the same.
You've got no contract or anything
else."
"All the same, I'll hold you, and all
the law in the country can't help volt."
' How will you hold me, I'd like to
know ?"
"I'll hold you in contempt, you nasty
mean thing." — M■ rchant Travt !tr.
THERE is a new waiter in the House
restaurant, and yesterday when Hep
resenialive Blackburn went down to
get bis lunch, the waiter brought him
the bottle and a regulation whisky
glass Mr. Blackburn glared at the
waiter und then at the glass, and final
ly blurted out:
"Don't you know who I am?"
"No, sir," replied the waiter.
"I am a senator-elect from
Kentucky," replied the Hon. Joe.
"From Kentuck !" ejaculated the
waiter. "Oh, I beg pardon, sir."
Ami he quickly brought the Ken
tuckian a goblet.— Wuehingtoi i Hatch
ct.
"WEI. 1., Dick when is that wedding
of yours corning off?"
"I'll be doggone if I know; but it'll
be as soon as I kin git enough money
ahead to buy the weddin' license,"
"Got your wedding clothes yet ?"
"No; hut them a feller kin git on
tick most any time ; hut these doggone
license fellars won't trust a day."
K<J. State Journal.
Ira big roll of hank notes ami a
letter from her fellow were put in h< r
box in the po-t office, on tho condition
that she could take out either and let
the other remain, yon can safely lw t
all you're worth she'll lake the letter.
It ntay IK> a little late in the season,
hut we waii't to give our gardening
friends a brand new nnd strictly relia
hie method of making a hoi led m short
space of time. Thi* i-the way Apply
a lighted ma'ch to the straw ticking
Oi' City llrrricl
IT'- a fortunate thing for th • ma!
-ex thnt malaria is prevalent about
the time that soring house rlranii •
arrives. It t nahles a man to pretend
that he is very sick, t) rscaj* the tor
ture of putting down the carpets. —
"Did you reveal vour identity?"
n-ked a New York itolitician of one of
his minion-. "Well you bet I didn't.
I ju a t told the fell >w who I wns, an 1
it broke him nil up."— Merchant
Traveler.
The other evening when Ferguson
was making a call on the Bimpkinaes
the smallest scion of the latter lmue
remarked to his mother :
"Ma, I don't see it."
"Don't see what, my tlear ? ' asked
the lady.
"Mr. Ferguson's axe replied the
child.
"Why, what do you mean?"
"Why, you know pa aid that Fer
guson would be here to-night and he al
ways bad an ax to grind ; hut I don't
•M the axe."
A MAN on Roosevelt street, New
York, is the proud owner of a white
monkey, and nothing so disgusts him
as to have his innocent little pet mis
taken for a dude.
DL'MLET, who is a hearty eater as
well as a very polite man, always asks
to be excused when Icaviug tho table.
His landlady thinks that be ought to
' beg pardon."
A YOU NO lover attetdpted to serenade
his girl one night and he never got any
farther than "Hist?' Bella, put your
head out of the window, quick, and
call off the dog."
, AtfCTlnNßß*.—The underrlgned. the
I i e<. t and ben • al.-euinn 111 Central f'enn
• vlviifiia, having more than twenty V""
•*(Kirlenee in neillng Farm*, Cum Kim'*,
I M.MiliHlldU"., ele, offer* hi. M-rvtur* to the
I <|tl/.en nt Centre and aifnlning e< untie.
I na a Kirrl-ela*. .HnlcMiinn. Charge* rrawoii
ahle. Add re, Joatril I. Narr,
I Inland,
4-.'lm. Centra county, Pa
HAVING orum A
NEW COACH REPAIR SHOD,
ON LOGAN STREET,
We would respectfully invite the
public to give ux a call when in want
of any work in our line. We arc pre
pared to do A LL kiudti of
TRIMMING,
REl'AtßlSti v
REMODELING.
We ttleo mitko a apeclulty of
UPHOLSTERING
IN AM. ITB JUtANCHIa.
All work will rocieve prompt atten.
lion. Our TFIIMH are reanouable, and
1 uli Murk guarantied, Renprrtfully.
It 11 HI EEL ,1 MrSCL 1",
■i nm lit th /ontc, I'a
STUDIO.
2nd door Bush Arcade,
'lt J nii • i>j . Ir ttnllirni Ik • I'trifal < • •
/ am now ready to do all kind* of
PAIWTIIMC,
.s,ch,u FORTH A ITS in.il. / tX ft
SCA PES, SWN mnd ORNA US V
TAL. FANCY DECORA
HSU a-.d t;RMSi\ <;
.i SPECIALITY.
Satisfaction guaranteed in ail IM.
[ would be pi. a.-i d tn have v-iii call,
and examine .pei-inu n ol w rk. In
•true-lion* giv- n in Painting.
Vi i.v UIM t-ri i i i.v,
C 'J'. UiUUr.
HOMES FOR SALE!
Come and Hny.
21 ACHES ON FIFTH AVENUE.
In whole or lota'.
A TWO STORY BRICK
on Alh-ghanv Strt< t.
A TWO STORY PRICK
< )n High , tree I.
A TWO-STORY BRICK
<>n Th-miar itn-et.
A TWO STORY FRAME
(IN Willow Bank street, ?1 S <HI
A TWO-STORY FRAME
(in Willow Bookatreet, SI2<HI
A TWO STORY FRAME
On Hi-hop *tr* t,
All in the Borough of Belief, nto.
tex'' Trrmi Ma.ir F*iry,
ROM) VAI.KNTINE,
0 3m. Real E-tate Agent.
BUTTS & POWERS,
PRAITirAt
HARNESS MAKERS,
RRSTAINS APUAK IH.VROJ-KICK,
Al ! ":t.ri \f rrt, Itellr/ontr. I'a.
Ar- | re ; .H I to rlo .tl kind of K mcy
mi i lt<av lUrnea* Making at
UciteOnnliH' PritM's nnd
-IN TIIK
AL*t skillful Alnnnt'r.
1 z! yJt'r. asi dirpavch.
We i .li. . .... e>.ni|.elilioa in [.rice*
nd work man*hip,
1 iiv •it a ?r- *1 and I e convinced.
A . >rk guaranteed
thj vbop. 1
quirk Hallway Time.
Rarkford, VI., Jan, 1 *v4ll.
TK>. u tn rrrti/v that toe have appointed
iF'.tnk /'. /< ur, *•'<* i/tnt/.T the tale of nttr
Train Railroad \l'al*het i. (he (ourn
-</ RtU'/oute.
ltoear i*n W*r< n OnartNT,
IIY IfnsMKK P. BULLANP. Sec.
Raving mo.t thoroughly tented the
Rockford (pnrk Train Watrheefor the
la.t three vr-ere, I offer them with the
fulled confidence a. the bent made and
mot reliable tirnp keeper for the money
that can be obtained.
/ full'/(inaraniee cvvv HWd (< r fic \rart.
FRANK /'• HI.AIR.
So. 2 HroekerhnJT It ran.
A'l other A meriean H 'atehet at reduced
pricet.
DIOHTON, Jan. 27, 18X2.
The R.ickford watch purchaecl Feb.
1879, ha* performed better than any
Watch 1 ever bad. Rave carried it
every day and at no time ha* it been
irregular, or in the le*t unreliable. 1
cheerfully recommend the Rockford
, Watch HOBACB Ik HORTQN,
at I tighten Furnace Co.
T ACNTON, flept, 18. 1881.
The Rockford Watch run* very ac
curately ; better than any watch 1 ever
owned, and 1 have had one that coat
#l5O. Can recorotnond the Rockford
Watch to everybody who wishe* a fine
i timekeeper.
H. P. RUBRARP, M. P.
This is to cortify that the Rockford
Watch bought Feb. 22, 1879, ha* run
very well the pa*t year. Having et it
onlr twice during that time, it* only
varfation being three minutes. It haa
run vary much better than I ever an
linitiated. It u no' adjuted and only
00t$2a It P. BRYANT,
r. u. noriT.it to.
I.sfiO. <1 18! UK
ANNOUNCEMENT.
LLLL OI.UKM AMI M'E-T IHI.IA 111. K
IUFIM>- HOL.T IN
111 I.I.I.HINTK.
o: -: o
In r<ii r t. maki r ora fur (ur Spring
StfH k we are olli r in^j
immense:
IA K(r A I NS
IN
DRV ROODS
Boots and Shoes
And Notions,
e have HO ehoddy or auction
good*, but xtmight and b-inct good*.
We have constantly on Laud a full
supply of
PURE GROCERIES,
PROVISIONS,
QUEENSWARE. ETC.
o { —} o
Country Produce
Cunnt.ntly on hand and Solicited.
C. IT.l T .
HOFFER
& CO.
Street,
flellefontc. PH.
. . • ft
' V
#OWINC..A .
To the Conatantly increacing
GEM AND FOR 4
Green's .Condition Powder
W. arc now putting it out in full Height-pound patkag • at 25 <•'-, in ddi
tiuri lr> our regular *ise at 15 eta. An-I r-riiernl-r w* punluh Pot inula i-.i.-l di
r notion* on every package, and (JuaranUe /'r II you have not u- -I it. -■
aolieii a trial order, feeling confident you trill afterward* u*e no oth<-r
GREEN'S PHARMACY,'•
Bush House Block,
Bellefonte, Pu.
We have Telephone Connect:en.
SIAIIL I It .1 f'O., (J ritrrrn, ItunJi III.IIH. Html, lit lit joule , I'a.
NF.W GOO'DS
—F O R TI? K {
SPRING and SUMMER TRADE!!
We have endeavored to get th<- very la-M of cvry t '• in ur n< and or*
have eotnc reallv CIIOH'E UOODS.
FIX/: CREAM CI!EESE, Extra JJTRGF FHE.M II URINES,
S F.I. EC T OYSTERS, SWEET I'/TAToES.
FAROE RIPE CRAXUERRIES, PRFXEI.I.f JMFERJA I. FIUS.
11RKIUT NEW I.EM OSS, FLOR! !>A OF A AG'AS,
Prince** I'uper-Shtll Almonds. Kiupoiatul MI III) PEACH E>
A FULL LINE OF CHOICE CANNED FRUITS.
PRESERVED J'EARS, PEACHES Fl.f \fs J I'I,'FXEI.FES t
PLAIN CANDIES, FINE fO\IT< riONEItV,
—ANII - V
GOODIES of all Sorts and Kinds
WWc invite the people of Centre . unty to <-nl! n,,1 : ..ur NICE
GOODS, which rai.not fail to pleaec.
SECHLi'It ct CO.
Ko pir*.- is pc:!t::j.c:r ssr *rt!s re'.ifica
Timr, KH Tr.T * V Ii TIIK PI *T
tiii: I.auhf. i-.i H 1,1 ri kit
UU.M|.'I .Mi -I. IUII
HEW YOHK OBSERVER
E*t nhH> hail 1823
v % i. ' •: :rj .♦ h n < i * i ,* II
tt '* ;-Kr Kwm* (♦ YrMivn P'tm* un<i •
..,mi ..f !#• wtl< .n fmM.tt.Hj •u'l •!• Jrttrm html
i#n.JJtrtftW •1• 11 f 'r h (Hisftr ftn fit*
h. tl. tfftiDir U uf • 'jUlfUf of ft tt Jorj
ft* It.ftir mm*
i I.l* Ik* OMtavi* ftf tr"<B
* i |lt*miH 'fti't.inf * r,f lb* r i
{ <Jil r, .f f ,m lk Ml- !, i —k
*p• iMf*-'**"' Mi \u r t-tt! it, Ht -**>••
* m -.i n. mm , .1 Hru. t mr-f'nr <
•>* in* fjnin trid f . ikf tit Th# <>
'lt' 'itiWiiihl: -. dMtii f,d !
q\4 *m It f
A LIVE NEWSPAPER.
Ililkf ft'f mli !>iiih full rffn.tro
n t trutAnd* {* M j tt
rvfitlfiaiff *ll liirt,. ■, tr rm* c*tmmnf nfsn* rtir- .
t+pU um* * ! gf*t tftn't of !• r* rrftdioc
Tt jt -.. !: •<-• r DM I nil
*t *• fit- ■ ?<> . r < .■ . rhor j s Hi#
{ • .*!> • I'-tr. .. r. - <.f 4""
" P'!*- nf * .f It.. anllK r -iinroi.Jft
rv>f<** of tl# >ft*ft.l ftß til t H- j 14r •• frt-f.
Nmv V...-U (H.-rvr.
:t I .1 .7 ! I'art. Kaw, X. I.
Mm.
I'AINTING anil
PATER HANGING.
WORKM tAMiir TMK HMT
IRUf* TIIK UHA K.rT
I'Hii*4lT>RK> AM> lIINPATCII
WILLIAMS & BRO.,
PEAI.KRA IN
WALL PAPER
PAIMTit, \i\
HIGH 8t brl Bprinp A Wafr. Bellffont*
i W Uk thi mth! of lof'.rmlng i
1.1 Thai In ilwk ll* Un it in 4 Pol
vlnrtmn of Tf'a'l l'af"t ..titafdf of Pfciladalphta or
>'• T 011, *l. : ftlldllotda, KnloHol Hrotoo.
Miiw, flan fil*A lliilu u4 Bnnni. Rraalllol
IV.. d*r> in lim.l Tartatjr.
:■ Thai ha.a Jnl rnr,•! fn> ha Toik
Pinl Bk K. Hook of Colling finalKr*. W. fan
fnftii.il awl |ini g|> • fln. and alalmtaf* Oalllac IWr- '
oration* a. at. (ml <||. .Ill hi'
VI Thai a In.lia all aho Inland pafoHnt to rail
and •** "in llt. of (ttoil. l-afora o.darfn Maaakof. i
4ili > hat. la cat unjdi.j tai flan. paf.. hanf j
ft. and |>t ntar., and ar rrrtmrt* to tak Joha of |
PAINTING. GRAINING MGN WIIITINO,
and PAPKR HANGING,
tarz* ornti.ll, and rompMa th *oh Hh nrafoaw
and diMtfh
•* Ttartf from lb. onnntrj atdlfllad.
IThvTT TTILUAMA * HBOTIIKR
A.DVIOB TO MOTHERS.
Afa *n dlatnrbad af nlht and Vmkan of frmt nft
b. a atfk fhlld .allaftn. and rr;ln aKb |>ia af tnl- !
lit,# laafht If ao, aand af Ofxa and |faf a baftla of :
Hna Wiafttn'a Hoorinna Starr ron Otvnnrß
Tannina Ift aalna la Inoalfnlahla. If mil raMaaa
tha noor iltda anflwaa ltaraadal.lt Pia a. i npon II j
at.,i Kara, thara I. no ftlalnSa nhant If- llroraa dfa
aniary and dlnffhlraa. fafaWUn tba
Ma. enraa wind catlr. aafta* fha f.at, "dann H
ssrscteyrssu®
swrsirvT"-!K^ra.t£n ,, ws I
flan, and anna. In th* I'nllad Ufaa. and la a aala
ITS. ZJffT&r* an- — 4 ' r,V ** • I
a hapftla S-T-IT.
# f .
FOHKS IIOUSK
t'ohurn, <Vlri Co.. Ia.
j GOOD MEALS.
CLE AX It EDS.
rUICKS MODERATE.
•THOTEL WITHIN TWO MIN- n
UTE.S* WALK TO STATION.
<v. i ' .\rr i *lati/>n *.
ht<v!i<-nt Hutiinr and Fuliii p proundt
i quit* ne.r thi* liotel.
•10$. KI.K' KNEIi • Pron'r.
MRS. A. E. SEI3ERT
\ 1 l'. '!•-. .f n-IUal>l.
'! *1 ►*>• Ii |.t j*r .1 l. Oo
DIiKSS MA KI XG
| In the terr F.ite.t <" t\ v ol>i,itid witii
Xralhrii f Ihipatrk.
IIAISB Is ETHAN' EAI2 W3SS.
Com' inp male lo i I ii r.
Pinkinp done on hort notice.
Stamping in French 0.l * specialty.
I*m Aim A j'll 'or the <'-lebrated
F>re* Mak<r' MAGIC SCALE.
Mr.*. A. K Shi BERT.
No. II Allegheny St..
50 3m. B<llefonle. Fa.
THE REASON
We can m Ii Baugh a i
$23 Phosphate
o cheap in .imply this: , (
Alter 25 year* we hare di*eorered tLc
t'heapeM I'rooee* of waking an Ammo
| mated Boor Super I'liO'phate ; •ml
having *pecial advantage* in the Up
ply of raw material, we are enabled to
produce thi* lien t *XT ta>uuhii titvn
of our pood* at a lower co<>t than any
other Standard Rmnda, which are man
ufactured by u* from Good Old Forrmi
la*, and they hare r ecu red a National
Hepulation after about 30 yeara' trial.
The 925 Phoapbate ia coming int°
general u*e, and ita reputation,—'"The
i}foeapet and Beat Crop Pi* duoer"—i ß
extending rapidly throughout Pennayl
vania, Ohio. New York, New Jeraey,
Maryland, belaware, and other State*
Manttfactured only by <
BAUGH & SON, PHILA., PA.
OAT WIfTV amw-Ttetaawta.
UAU Do iVi Ll A f*refrri|M4 Or*MMaM
awrk a aMH it** <* f>pwu.iu Oooi waaaa.
*■4 Maeterw*" 1 glr*a I* r*Ut4* lm>
m* Wnato wean t* R I. HinuMtw An*.
lUt Inai Uaa >VUWM, nn, M, Ql
. —lxiweet price*. ErerrVhing new and
• freah, at Oarman'a.
'> !