The Farmer'* Rank. The fartnor with the nabob rank*. Ami with the gildod millionaire*; l'or ho controls substantial banks, And holds in them the safest shares. Mis banks are banks of loam and day, His shares are plow-shares In the mold; The more they break the more they pay, In dividend* of green and gold. His face is bronzed with summor skins, His honest hands are hard and brown ; Hut there is something in his eyes That came with light from heaven down. He is not of the earth a clod, With kings and millionairee ho ranks, Where wood-birds sing and blossoms nod, The farmer owns the best of banks. PUNWENT PARAGRAPHS. A corn dodger—The man who wears shoes. A man is like a carpet, when he is kept down by tax. Rscnlaptns practiced medicine oven when an infant, which gave rise to tho song, " M. D. is tho cradle." The best description we have over beard of a slow man wan that he wan too slow to get oat of his own way. The facetious postage-stamp clerk who told a man that asked for two twos that this was not an nsthetic po<t oflice is now looking for a new sitna tion. A boy at Moline, 11., had to be whipped thirteen times before ho would consent to be vaccinated; but patience and a peach-tree limb at last won the victory. Mo longer doth tha snipo Pipe; Mo longer doth tho quail Hail; Rut now wo like Ihem most On toast. Friend of the family to the boy twins: •Tm afraid yon little fellows don't al ways agree. Yon fight each other some times, don't yon V Twins: "Yeth, thir, thomtimlb." F. of the F.: "Ah, I thought so. Well, who whips?' Twins: "Mamma whips!" One of tho sorest preventives of sea sickness is to take oWt your stomach and viscera, and leave them ashore nntil yon return. This plan is attended with some little inconveniences, bat it's a solid preventive. Cat this out and pnAte it in yonr hat. It ma/ save your life next summer. Brown, of Pniladelpbia, is a kind hearted man. Every night ho gives each of his children five cents for going to bed early, so as not to disturb him when reading the evening paper. About midnight he creeps noiselessly upstairs, takes the five cents from their pockets, and gives them a whipping for losing it. "When I was yonng," says s yonng man, mournfully, "my venerable grand father never used to tip me, his invari able excuse being: 'At yonr ago yon haven't any need of money; but later on, oome to me.' Well, when I was eighteen I went to him and he coldly hnttoned np bis breeches pocket and said: 'At your age you ought to bo making your own way in the world !'" Twelve thousand shovels are manu factured in the United States every week. And yet, remarks Burdette, when a man wants his own individual shovel after dark, he has to paw and claw around over two tons of soft ooal, feeling for it, making remark* in tho meantime that are enough to blister any ooal shovel that ever hid itself be twoeu the end of the shed and an empty barrel. A Ban Francisco paper says: "A very hungry arrival at the Palace rnshed into the dining-room the other day and fell npon the eatables with great determina tion. ' I declare I' said one of those hotel funny dogs, who sat at the same table. •My dear sir, yon remind me of the Prodigal Son.' 'Exactly,' said the hnDgry man, as he speared another cat let. ' I'm foreed to eat with the hogs.' And the lardy-dah was carried oat on a chip." Question in a French journal; "When a lady receives a visit from a gentle man, ought she to rise or remain seated when the visitor enters and when he takes his leave ?** If the lady lives in Washington, says an American paper, she will rise without regard to Parisian etiquette and accompany him as far as the hall, to see that he doesn't carry off a ten-dollar ivory-handled umbrella in place of the dollar and-a-half cotton one usually carried by visiting states men. "Do yon believe in Bronson Aioott's theory of mithetio eating?" arked n Boston Isdy of her Chicago admirer. " I don't know what Bronson Aioott's theory of (esthetic eating is," he an swered, "bnt when I'm hungry, a brace of mutton chops, some porterhouse steak, a dozen or two buckwheat eakee, four acft-boiied eggs and a plate of bash make a meal that is tostbetio enough forme." "Yes, yea, bnt yon don't understand me," impatiently added his fair interrogator; "Mr (Aioott's theory has reference to persons, not to Pig*" The street letter-boxes in Ban Anto nio, Texas, have baen robbed so fre quently that the postmaster has ordered them taken down,. LADIES' DEPARTMENT. Mashes. Hashes of overy detcription, nays a New York |Mpcr, are worn by tho million, from the tiny infant in arms to the silver-haired matron of mature yearn. In the latter case the nash is draped low on the left side of tho skirt. This fanhion in a conspicuous feataro on some of the most elegant imported costumes. In dresses designed for more youthful wearers, and where the corsage is pointed behind, the broad nash is net directly under it, giving tho back of the tournure tho bouffant ap pearance now no much nought for. Mbort llnir Annln In Fashion. Hhort hair in ugain in fanhion, and in spite of all that can be or ban been said to tho Jcontrary, ladies are sacri ficing ull that remains of their "crown ing glorv ' which is left from tho ravages of bandoline, heated slate pencils and crimping pins, to tho Moloch of tho present fanhion. Those short, rippling locks are to the last degree charming on heads, hnt to many ladies it is far from liecomiug, as it given them a mas culine appearance not at all prepossess ing; and even the pretty, round, tony faced girls who turn themselves into bewitching little Cupids by this style of coiffure mast remember that they will bo obliged to resort to the inevitable Derby bat for a head oovering, an bon nets, hats and tho stylish little French toques cannot vory well be kept secure without some foundation to which they may l>e fastened.—.V< ir York Evening Pout. Thr .r.thritc f'raxr. It is not by any means certain tha tho esthetic craze is a craze at all. It it dimply an innovation which, like a pendulum suddenly act in motiou, has swung past its lino of perpendicular. One thing in certain ; this innovation is boginning to dhow itself in tho style of dres* worn by ladies in away that promises the most complete and tho most desirable revolution that can be imagined. It is gotting to bo the fashion for ladies to wear ostumes adapted exclusively to their style of looks, so that the garb of every lady does to some extent represent hor self; to produce, as if it wore a blossoming of hor inherent qualities. Now this is something in ac cordance with the law of nature, and the effect cannot help bnt be satisfac tory. Wo shall have diversity instead of uniformity, but as the diversity will be nniform in consistency with the varied expressions of nature, it will be that diversity that yields a sense of completeness instead of the broken, dislocated effect produced by the uni formity of the present style. It msy be possible that the loUhetic innovation will reach and to a great extent remodel and beautify man's dross as well as women's. Therefore let ns welcomo a craze that promises to give us beauty for deformity, and naturalness for un nat ursine**. Chicago Expresa. fashion Xnffi, White is tho favorite festival oolor. American silks and satins are winning new praise abroad. Embroidery on the fabric is the trim ming for cashmere drosses. Cable plush, with a cord bet ween plush stripes, is a novelty. Invisible green is the fashionable color for tailor-made cloth suits. Breakfast caps of silk muslin have bows of plush ribbon for trimming. The Marguerite corsage, with round half-low neck, is worn by yonng ladies. A green volvet corsage and train is worn with white and gold brocaded | satin. Polonaises are fashionable, bnt must match the skirt with which they are worn. Jockey rnstnmes, consisting of a long coat basque and plain velvet skirt, are considered very stylish. Bonnets, muffs, pelerines, dress trim mings, and fans made of peacock feathers are mnoh favored. Dolly Varden lives again in a new polonaise, a novel neckerchief, and a daintly shaped dancing shoe. Pale pink and silver are very fashion ably {combined in toilets designed for yonng ladies' dancing parties. The Parisian l£ir-dre*aer* complain of a growing disposition in ladies to dress their own hair, dispense with pro fessional coiffeurs, and wear no false tresses. Pearl fringes, white silk, eheniUeand seed appliques in elaborate flower de signs, and cut crystal fringes, are lav ishly employed upon coatly and elegant bridal toilets. Long heßhd India cashmere, just be cause it is nnoommyn and unpreten tious, is used alongside of the richest silk, velvet and plush cloaking fabrics for wraps of high ceremony. Paris prescribes very plain dreues for yonng ladies' evening wear, on whioh no lace appears, the only trimming being plaiting* of toile or of tho mate rial. No lace is worn in the nook, only tulle plaiting. i Amoug the novelties in neok dressing are the deep rolling collar and high Elizabethan ruff; the former made of heavy brocade velvet or satin, the lat ter of wide lace of some rich pattern, plaited up exceedingly full inside the rolling oollar. A pretty walking dress for a young lady la mado of dark laurel green, Vi gogne, with a plastron of moss green plnflh, tho bnttona imitating urnall red bcrrien. A pelerino and muff of the plunh are lined with deep ctimson surah, and finished with handsome tan- Held of dark green chenille. Among fabrics for children's dresspa, nothing can be prettier than the soft, moss like plushes which come in small mnlti-colorod stripes ; there are also chined, plaidod and moired plushes, all of which ure used most effectively for trimmings—that is, for sashes, revcrs, collars, pockets and shoulder capos. Lost of all, and most beautiful, are the pale-hueu plushes in pale bine, silver gray, pink and lilac, to be daintily made np with white lace trimmings. Homo of tho new Bernhardt gloves which reach.far above the elbow, and are especially designed to Im worn with short-sleeved evening toilets, are finished at tho tops with insertion bands of costly point or duchesse lace three inches wide, and above this a ruf fle of tho same lace, put on with little or no fullness. This gives a soft and delicate look to that portion of the glove which generally lias an unfinished look, especially in tho Danish glove that is left nn!<onnd at tbe top. ItiiHtinfi Women ami Children. Tho crying evil ia Russia, !o it re membered, is and will be, heaven know* for how long, its scanty popula tion; ami tho main causes which pr >• vent its growth are tho fearful mortality I among tho children of tender age (forty ! per cat. before tho age of Uv.-) and the j forocd barrenness of th- women Tho , women, especially of the peasant class, usually marry late in life— not •' till they have hardened their bones for their hnabind's work"—and they are | crushed by unconscionable hard t oil, both in their girlhood and wifehood. Here, as in Germany, a good helpmate is expected by hei lord to be " as strong as a mule," and hr mulish strength is not spared, oven wbilo she should be entitlod to the tenderest care. With respect to the chil Iron tbosrt of tho lower order, especially in tho emntry, suffer from exposure to tho cruol climate, partly owing to the boor's con ceit that it is well tho weakling should perish and only tho hardy survive, but in a great measure from that dire neceasi'.y whinh bids poverty sink or swim. But even am tog the wnlbto-do peoplo the children's constitution is tampered with and vitiated from the cradle by injudicious coddling and cot ting. For the nursery, as we ail know, Is an exclusively English institution, and the children thronghont tho conti nent, Germany, perhaps, excepted, are sacrificed to their parents' blind fond ness, being made to share the meals, to keep the late honrs, and join in tho talk of grown np peoplo, as much det riment arising from tho unsuitable diet as from the unnatural precocity of their rnontal development, Hence nowhere does one see so many pale, thin and pnny, as well as knowing children of tho upper classes, as thronghont tho czxr's dominions; nowhere do so many succumb to the treatment. But apart from the training of children in private j families, even in tbo foundling hospi tals of St. Petersburg and Moscow (this latter harboring as many as 13,000 in mates, and the former providing for 29,000), we learn from Murray's hand book, which lavishes the highest praises onthevartnessand munificences of those pnbli - charities, that "the mortality among the children is very great," and yet that " too msny of these infants are saved at the expciso of the offspring of the narses left at that critical age to be bronght np by hand in tho villages." 80 little ia the Russian fit to govern human beings even in tho narlieststago of their existenco. —London The Value of Local Paprr*. Every honest reflecting mind knows that tbo local newspaper adds much to the general wealth and prosperity of the place, aa well aa inoruaaea the repu tation of the town abroad. It benefits all wbo have business in the place, en hances the value of property, txwides being a public convenience, oven if not conducted in the intereet of the ruling politioal power. Its columns are not filled with brilliant editorials, still it benefits yon in every way. It increase* j trade, it cautions against imposition, it saves you from loss, it warns yon of danger, it points out different advan tages and increases your profits. Now, If yon want such a paper yon most sup port It by advertising jour bnsincaa in it; assist in increasing its circulation by getting your neighbors to subscribe with yon for It. If you want snob a paper, yon mnat not consider it an act of charity to support it, bnt as a means to increase your own wealth aa wall as that of the place in whioh you live; therefore, support it by advertising and •nbacribiag and paying for it.—.Vw, TIIE FAMILY IMMTOK. Hlmpln llen,fit > |or Catarrh and llrom bill*. It is now generally known that carbolio acid is strongly disinfectant, and very usefully applied to sores or pur ulent wounds. Wood creosote is sim ilar, is decidedly antiseptic, and quite volatile. It is therefore natural to suppose it would be useful when up plied to catarrhal and bronchial affec tions which arise from diseased or pu trefying mncus. We learned of its use for this purpose from Dr. Pesoetto, a leading physician in the nated Italian medical school in Gencm, Italy, from whose conversations we gleaned por tions of tho important article on "Catcbiug (.'old and the Itemedies," given in last December's Anuricin Ag ricultural. We have since recommended the following treatment in many cases with the best results. It can do no harm, is simple, and is eminently worthy of trial both for temporary and chronic affections. Fob Bbohcbitis.—Got from tho drug gist's a little good wood creosote. Put two drops of it into a bottle holding ft pint or so. Pour in a little more than half a pint of clear water, and shako it well; also shake wall always before using it.. Take a mouthful of this, throw the head lia"k, gurgle it some time io tho throat, and then swallow it. Re peat this every two hours, more or less, |soas to use the liquid within twenty four hours. Pleach subsequent twen ty-four hours us" three drops of the creosote in three or four gills of water. This three drops a diy may be con tinued as long as bronchitis appears. Two to fonr days is usually enough, though it mar be continued indefinitely without harm. Fi.a CATAHmi.-~Prcj.are the creosote water as above, in any amount, at the rate of one drop of crootoVc to ono giil of water {four dr ipi to tho pint), or a little more water if tho creesoto l> - very strong and the water too irritat ing. Make a fresh mixture once in iwo or three dars, an 1 as much oftener as more is needed. Take a handful of this water, previously well shaken, and snnff it through the noon into the mouth an 1 eject it. A little going down the throat will do n 1 barm. l)o this t wo or three times, and r -p it it a', bedtime, in the morning on rising, and, if need ho, occasion!? duripg the day. Ia fart, keep the nual passages washed out with the creosote water. Its vapor will evn jienetrato tho bony cavities, and also be drawn into the lungs with useful results. It destroys the purulent moms, and tends to pre vent its further secretion. It is useful for any discharges from the nose or lungs produced by colds or general weakness. For broachit.s, an 1 especially for catarrh, good rare cooked beef or other nourishing food, and junirte if needed, to obtain and retain a vigorous system, are capital aids to the ere nolo or any other medicine Antorican AiHcul turM. JfUlletec. Apropos of an article on mistletoe which appeared in the Pall Vail (fa itfife, a correspondent writes :To those who hove not looked into the matter it swill l> a surprise to learn that English mistletoe ia rarer on oak trees than on other trees. But it may be of some in terest to state that in other parts of tho world oak trees are a Tery favorite abode for this curiniy parasite. When some years ago I was traveling ia early April through Arcadia, on my way to visit tke faraons temple at we passed on s rugged mountain side through what was evidently the rem nant of an ancient oak forest. Tho trees were bnt dwarfs compared with onr British oak, and they were very thinly scattered. Bnt on every tree grew one or more big bunches of mis tletoe It was of a beautiful pale green, verging toward yellow, and very piotnrmqne it looked among the bare gnarled branches. El ward A. Frroman. the English his torian, wbo ia now visiting this oountry, said to a lialtimom interviewer: "There is one thing that striken tne M peculiar in this conntrr, and that is your newspaper*. They ate conducted on an entirely different style from tboae in Europe. In your paper* moat of the space ia taken np with local new* that mnat internet only tboae realding in the locality where it ia published. Your newapapera publiah matter* that our journal* would never think of printing. In our newapapera wo And newa from all quarters of the globe, and which ia of greater general internet. Bat I aup pjee thia ia because you have no oenter like L >odon. That oity ia to oa what New York and Washington together are for you. One ia the commercial and the other the political capital of the oountry, while London la both. Then are only two New York paper.) that print any foreign nawa af consequence. I notioe that the aixa of your papers, aa well, aa of our*, ii larger than that of French papers, whioh arc pnbliahed on email sheets, and I am at a losa to aooonnt for it" TOPICH OF THE DAY. More railroads wero built in the United States lost y< ar than ever be fore. About 0,000 miles oi track were laid on 25* different roads. Texas leads with 1,411 miles, and Colorado follows with 500 miles; lowa, Dakota and Ohio have added over 400 miles each to their railway system, while Vermont constructed only two miles, and Rhode Island but one mile and a half. According to a German economist tbe income of the world is #13,520,000,- 000; debt, #10,020.000,000; taxes, #2,002,000.000, eapitsl, 8*5,612,000,000. Sweden has the smallest debt, or #50,- 000,000; France tbe largest, or #2,140,• 000,000. The United States has tho i largest income and England the most j capital. Italy is the heaviest taxed, jtayiug thirty five per eout. of its in-1 come for tans, to the average fifteen ! per cent of other nations. Mr. Jackson, u young American who has become the favorite friend of the king of Wartemberg, has ceased to be 1 a citizen of tho republic, having sworn allegiance to the country wherein ho has come to high honor. He has lately been made a baron and privy coun cillor, and his breast is covered with decorations bestowed upon him by the Austrian emperor, by his royal friend and by the king of Saxony. A corre spondent of tho Boston Herald saya that the father of this youth, who is both modest and intelligent, was a relative of Stonewall Jackson. Dennie Dnnlap was a throe card monte man attached to a circus. A greenhorn whom he had swindled out of #2OO, at Assumption, La., complained , to a justice, who not only issued a war rant but went to the tent to serve it. Dennie was operating another victim, and ho quietly offered the justice #2O not to Interrupt him for ten minutes. This proposition was declined. Then the gambler angrily d<w a revolver, but the justice tired quickest, killing him instantly and coolly recovered the #2OO from his pockets. Tho gambling ' privilego of tbat circus is now for sale. One of the Strang, at incidents of the Vienna theater fire came to light in the rescue of a young artillery private after three days and nights of pecnliar suf fering. Ho endeavored to escape from the burning building by a stage door, bat owing to some mishap fell through a broken trap into a deep cellar. Here the poor fellow remained for seventy.- two hours without sleep or food, and from tho constant pouring of water into tho cellar from the engines came near being drowned. His cries were at last heard by an inspecting fireman, who took him out of tho water, which was np around his chest. The census office has eomtni nioned a representative to oollcct in (urination regarding the water supply and the sewerage system* of the larger citiea is the country, with a view to gaining light on the problem* concerted with the rate of mortal ity is the different cities and the diseases which chic fir prevail This investigation is in keep ing with modern progress, which aims at gjtting at tbs root of everything with scientific exactness. Thus far three citiea have been examined—Phila delphia, Chicago and Cincinnati. The latter prides itself npon the fact that moro water flows throrgh its sower* than in either of tho other places named. United States Consul Baker, of ; Bnenos A? re*, thinks that tba ostrich . can b domesticated in the United States and made profitable. He de scribes an ostrich farm situated about fifteen mi lea from Buenos Ay res, and give* many instructions tor the benefit of those in this country who maydenire to go into the business. Pall grown birda cost from #I,OOO to #1,200 de livered at Bnenoa Arras, and 5,000 birds can be kept on 6,000 acros of land. Tho gross income derived from ehicks prodnoad by one pair of birda is from $2,000 to #?,000 per annum. At Cape Colony $40,000,000 are invested in the business, and the business, and the value of the feathers annually pro duced is #4,500,000. Frank White, of Leadviile, 001., re turning alone from a trip in the Indian country, fonn-l himself freezing to death in a blinding snow-storm on the Grand river. Kamembering that he had beard of old travelers on the plains talk about the latent heat In a snow bank, he dag a deep hole in a drift with hia hand* and crawled in. Pres ently he began to feel more comfortable, and the deli jhtfnl but ominous drow siness which prooedes death by frees, ing stole over him. lie fought against It in vain, and at last became uncon scious. The next morning ha awoke, not in eternity ar he had confidently expected to do, bat In the snowdrift, warm and snug aa the traditional bug. Through thia extraordinary experience Mr. White has con Delved each • high opinion of the value of latent heat to the mining community that ha k anxious to have it called regularly on tbe exchanges. A committee of Presbyterians well known in philanthropic work, with Mr. William K. Dodge at their head, have presented a memorial to Congress ask ing for amj 1° appropriations for the education of Indian children, and for the passage of a law providing for the settlement of Indians in severalty, their lands to be held by them in fee simple. The committee say : "If the city of Philadelphia, with its KOO,OOO people, can easily educate its 105,000 children, bow much more easily can the nation, with its 50,000,000 of people,undertake to educate its 50,000 Indian children V Tbe memorial farther points out whut has heretofore been accomplished in this direction, and refers particularly to the training schools at Hampton, Carlisle and Forest drove, in which the education of Indian children Las al ready shown gratifying results. The committee suggest to Congress "the huthorir.uion of the establishment of other similar schools at military }o*t* ' which have been or may be vacated in ! different parts of the country." An interesting discovery is reported from Pole, the chief cava) station of tho Austr an empire, and formerly a station of the Itonian fleet. Near the huge amphitheater, only .second to the coliseum in size and massivencnj of con struct ion, some workmen were lately engaged in digging an ice cellar for the use of fhe squadron and the naval ar senal, when at about a yard's depth from the surface they camo upon a statue nine feet three inches in height, representing a Human emperor,'and in a state of almost perfect preservation. This effigy, executed in Grecian mar ble of the finest quality, is stated to b the most beautiful and highly finished | effigy of it* kind in existence. It has not as yet been recognized as the por trait of any particular emperor, but would apj>e*r to be rather an ideal or ' typical presentment of the Human Oar. It is supposed that tbia noble Matue originally a lorned one of th niches of the restilmle belonging to the 1 theater built by Augustus CVsar in ' honor of his daughter Julia, and licar ! ing her name. . : At a meeting of the National Asso : cia ion for Uie Protection of the Insane i and the Prevention of Insanity, held in New York, Dr. C. F. Dana, in a paper I read by him, gave the following intcr- J eating facts: There are at present in the United State# about (>3,000 insane . people, or ona to 777 of the popnla , tion. Twenty years ugo the ratio was , one to 1,310; in 1875, one to 033. The ratio in England is one to 350. By i sections the ratio ia: In New England, one to 588; Middle States, cne to 000; [ Western State*, one to 850; Southern ; States, one to 1,100. The ratio to which we may look forward in the fu ture ia, in New England, one to 500; i West, one to 000; Sonth, one to *OO. i In I*Bl there were seventy-four State and thirty-four private asylums. The cost of maintaining tbcm was $12,000,- 000 a year. The needs of the insane I are want of room in ssylnms, acpara tion of acute and chronic patients and epileptics, improvement in the laws of commitment, more amusement and work for patients snd a separation of State asylums fmn political influence. Concerning tho growth of the iron interest in this oonntry, it appears from tho report that in 1870 the total nom bor of hands employed in the varions iron and steel works of the country, and in tho mining and other operations in direct connection with those works, an increase of mora than eighty-one per cent. Of the total number of hands, 72,037 in 1870 and 133,203 in 1880 wero males over sixteen years of ago. Women's and" girls' labor is soarcely used at all. for obvious reasons, only sixty-six being engaged in the work in 1880 snd eighty-two in 1870. The total amount paid in wage* was 840,614,981 in 1870, against $55,476,785 in 1880. As we have said, the average prions of skilled and unskilled labor for 1870 are lacking. In IHgo, however, I skilled mechanics received on the sv •W 82.59 a day, and ordinary laborers got 81.24* the highest wages paid being in the Pssifio States, where the mills are few, an 1 the lowest in North Oaro lias, whera the labor waa largely that of oolored men. In the Eastern States the average for skilled mechanics was 82.70 a day, and for unskilled workmen 81.21; in the Western States 82.70 and sl-31, respectively, against 83.50 and 81.75 in the Pacific Slates. The tea plagues of a newspaper office are bones, poets, cranks, rata, cock roaches, typographical errors, exchange fiends, book can maser*, delinquent sub aortbera and the man who always knows how to ran the paper better than the editor does hi man If fi'rsr 1 o-k Commercial, "Make Somebody Glad," urges a re cent poem. Hundreds of yonag men oea comply with this request by simply bidding her good-night two or three hours earlier on Sunday nights.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers