©be (ffcntw gemoaat.
♦
BSLLEFONTE, PA.
Tk Largait, Cheapest end Best Peper
PUBLISHED IN CENTRE COUNTT.
A MKill I V ENTERPRISE.
PROJECT TO PIPE OAS TO EASTERN CITIES
TUROUOH A MAIN SIX PERT IN DIAME
TER POR A DISTANCB or 250 MII.ES
—ESTIMATEDCOST or TIIE EN
TIRE PI.AN $45,000,000.
Mr. J. W. Baker, of New York city,
said to a Sun reporter the other day :
"The idea of bringing gas from the
Pennsylvania coal fields to this city is
by no means new I have been thinking
over it for twenty years. It was a
favorite project with the venerable
Simon Cameron. We have organized
a company under the laws of New
Jersey, called 'The Gas Light Trans
jxirtation Company.' Tho capital is
$25,000,000, but the stock is not yet
on the market. The officers are: J.
Nelson Tsppen, city chamberlain, pre
sident; J. C. Lucas, vice president of
the Keystoue national bank of Phila
delphia, vice president; Isaiah C. Bab
cock, treasurer of the Adams express
company, treasurer. The directors are
John Hoey, .Senator John U. Mcpher
son, Henry I). Moore, of Philadelphia,
and Frederick E. Gilbert.
"We are at present selecting appro
priate coal lands on which to fix our
works. The idea is to make gas in
the same way that it is made in ordi
nary gas works out of bituminous coal.
A false report has been circulated that
we intend to make gas from anthracite
coal. We never had any such idea.
A very large amount of property has
been offered to us, and a competent
committee is now engaged in making
the We wish
to put our gas works in a region where
the coal is not likely to he exhausted
within seventy-five years. We pro
pose to erect gas works that will man
ufacture 40,000,000 feet of gas JMT day.
This would require 1,460,000 tons of
coal annually. The coal can be bought
at the mines for 55 cents per ton, but
the gas companies pay $4.52 |>er ton
for it. They save something by the
sale of coke, tar and ammoniacal
liquor, so that their coal costs them
$"5.14 per ton, or 32 cents a thousand
cubic feet of gas manufactured. One
great saving will be in the cost of coal
and iu the transportation."
"What do you estimate will he the
saving?"
"We calculate the saving in cost of
coal at $lO,OOO per day, or $3,860,000
per year. In the purifying we save
8146*,000 per year. It is well known
that coal freshly mined will produce
better gas than coal that has been long
mined. Getting and using our coal
fresh from the mines saves us $1,806,.
000 per year. Our receipts for tar and
ammouiacal liquors would amount to
$•">84,0Of), so that the craml total of our
savings will lie $7,300,000 n year."
"What capital would be required to
put up the requisite works ?"
"We will estimate the entire plant
at 845,000,000 —twenty-five millions
in stock and twenty millions iu bond*.
If we pay six per cent, interest on tho
bonds we have a balance which would
pay a dividend on the capital stock of
14.17 per ceut."
"How about the cost of pumping
gas?"
"We make no allowance for that, as
the cost will be nominal. As we hnvc
not credited ourselves with estimates
for the sale of coke, we may nllow the
coke to offset the jumping."
"Will there b#any difficulty in
pumping gas through such a long
pipe ?"
"We do not see how there can be.
It is well known that oil is pumped
through hundreds of miles of pipes.
The furthest point proposed for otir
works is nearer than the furthest point
from which oil is pumped. Our pipes
need not lie stronger than oil pipes.
We shall be simply extending the
method of serving gas already in use
everywhere. If we can make arrange
ments with existing companies to sup
ply them at wholesale cheaper than
they can make gns themselves, we shall
do so. If they oppose us we may lie
compelled to enter into competition
with them to supply retail customers.
Of course we shall find no difficulty
in procuring customers if wc can bring
cheap gas into the city."
"Will the gas be as good when it
gets here as when it is freshly made ?"
"It is admitted that the quality of 1
gas is deteriorated by transmission.
This, however, will be counterbalanced
by the ability to make the gas better
out of fresh coal. The first third of
gas freshly made is generally so rich
that it smokes badly, and must he
mixed with poorer ga before it can be
used. We can easily, therefore, make
gas rich enough to counteract the loss
by transportation. We do not expect
to be obliged to carry the gas more
than 240 miles. We have the right
of condemnation of property in Penn
sylvania for the purpose of laying our
pipes. We have the right to carry
our pipes across the Hudson river, se
cured by act of the New York legis
lature. We have further considered
the deterioration of gas by compres
sion. Home experiments conducted by
Thomas K, Lees, president of one of
the gas companies, showed that under
• pressure of 1,250 pouuds to the inch
the gas lost one caudle power. Home
experiments were made by the Penn
sylvania railroad company that used a
compressing machine to get tbe gas
*
into the reservoirs of their cars. In
somo cases there was a deterioration of
twenty per cent, by the squeezing out
of hydro-carbon. All these points
have been considered in our estimates.
Wo may cross the Hudson in tho new
tunnel. Engineer Biuilh says it is
practicable for us to do so."
"It will take a pretty big pipe to
bring so much gas?"
"Yes. Our pipe will bo made of
iron, six feet in diameter, laid in hy
draulic cement."
"Suppose the pipe gets clogged T"
"If it once gets started there will bo
no danger of that. I know of no rea
son why such a pine should get clog
ged. That reminds me of nu exjieri
incut made with natural gas taken
from one of the Pennsylvania oil wells.
A factory, eighteen miles distant, was
to bo lighted with the gas. The owner
of the factory, not knowing whether
the thing would be a success, did not
care to go to the expeuse of durable
pipes, so they bored logs and under
took to use the wooden pipe. When
the pipes were nil laid the gns would
not pass through them, in spite of the
application of euormous pressure. It
was evident that there was something
wrong. Then it leaked out tlmt some
rivals had plugged the pi|)es with
wooden plugs. When they got the
pipes clear they tried the experiment
of forcing un India rubber ball through.
Strange and almost incredible as it
may appear, the ball traveled the en
tire eighteen miles in just eighteen
seconds—faster than a mile a second.
We expect to lay our iron pipe and
supply anybody that needs gas between
New York and tbe ccal field. There
is no reason why one pipe should not
go on to Boston and tbe east. It is
not anthracite gas, nor gas from an
oil well, nor uaturul gas, but gas made
iu the ordinary way ami distributed
in the ordinary way through very long
pipes.
RETRENCHMENT ANI) REFORM.
Retrenchment in the public cx|cn
ditures is at this time imperatively de
manded by the public interests. As
tbe object of government is the protec
tion of the citizen iu bis rights of per
sonal security, jsrsonn! liberty and
private property, the burdens imposed
in its administration should be made
as light upon the jx-ople us practicable.
Profligacy and extravagance iu the
public expenditure* tuny bring burdens
upon the |>eoplc d> -tructive of the pri
mary purposes of government itself.
The mu*t inexorable of robbers is the
I Government itself when so administer
ed as to enable a few to live iu extrav
agance, luxury nnd voluptuousness at
1 the expense ol tbe toiling millions.
That the salaries and compensation
of our public officers are too high is
incontcslihlv proven by the extrnordi
j narv struggles for office, disturbing ail
ranks of the people. At tbe Presiden
tial election every four years the na-
I lion is convulsed by disgraceful squab
! Ides for the distribution of the offices
and emoluments of the Government.
Look back twenty years, ami trace
tbe course of this corrupting tide of
profligacy and extravagance in the
administration of the Government
alone. In 1860, under Mr. Buchnn
au's administration, the total net ordi
nary expenditure, exclusive of intor
! est, of the Federal Government, was
1160,066,7571. In I*7l it reached
| the sunt of $164,421,507.15; ami in
1880 the sum of $1715M6j852.67| ex
clusive of interest and all war debt.
And now the estimnte of this net an
nual cost of the Federal Government
!to the people has actually reached
$1!)4,046,260.61 for tho year 1882,
being about or nenr five millions less
than two hundred million* of dollars.
Thus, exclusive of the interest nnd war
debt, has the net annual cost of the
! Federal Government to the people in
creased under the administration of
the Republican party alicut $ 135, (MM),-
(KM) a year, or over fifteen millions
more than double what it was under
the last Democratic administration.
We have space here only for a few
of the facts showing how this profliga
cy and extravagance in the public ex
penditures came about. The increase
of the salaries of Federal officers com
menced iu 1866 and 1867. The sala
ries of mem tiers of Congress previous
ly fixed at $3,000 a year were raised
to $5,000; those of tiie judges of the
Supreme Court, which had lieeu $4,-
500 n year previously; were raised to
$6,000. In 1871 the salaries of the
judges were raised to SB,(KM) a year ;
and in 1873 the salaries of members of
Congress were increased to 7,500 a
year eaeh, and the salaries of tbe jud
ges of the Supreme Court to SIO,IKK).
And at tbe same time a proportionate
increase in the salaries of other Fede
ral officers was made, and tbe salary
of the President of the United States
was raisid to $5O,O<K) a year. Tbe
salary of tbe President bad been per
manently fixed at $23,000 a year from
an early period. And without increas
ing the salary, the expenses of tbe
Executive Mansion paid by the Gov
ernment had been iucrrnsed until, in
1873, tliey had reached tbe sum of
$57,000. And no abatement was made
in the expenses of the Executive Man
sion when the salary was raised to
$50,000. Inasmuch as the Govern
ment pays the expenses of the Execu
tive Mansion, the President would be
the best paid officer in the country at
a salary of $lO,OOO.
This spirit of extravagance has been
extended until it has more or less per
vaded all department* of the public
•ervice and increased the expenditure*
of the Government to near $200,000,-
000 a year. DUlthis is not all. The
profligacy in squandering the public
domain hy lIIIHI grant* to corporation*
and monopolies ia perfectly untaxing.
From a schedule tnkeu from the re
cords of the lutcrior Department it
appears; thai the totul a mount of these
land grants in acres comes to $200,000,
000, and in square miles to 204,758.
The areas in square miles of the six
New England States, New York, New
Jersey, Pennsylvania, Delaware, Mary
land, Ohio und Indiana come* to 250,-
200, being .'58,558 square miles less
titan tho total amount of the public
domain squandered by the Itepubli
eau party since it came into power
upon corporations ami monopolies.
Hesidcs all this the ('redit-Mobilier
frauds, the Sanborn frauds, the Dis
trict of Columbia-ring frauds, the
Whisky-ring frauds, the Moth swin
dle, the Pacific Mail steal, tho Wes
tern Trading-station frauds, the Star
route frauds and numerous other griev
ous cdlenses against good government,
furnish ample grounds demanding a
change of the party in power.
Extravagance and profligacy in the
public exjienditures have uiways pro
duced thoMhabitsof luxury and volup
tuousness Which have ever been the
forerunners of the downfall of popular
Governments.
Why Miss Belli* Clinton Kxpcrt* to he
Worth s:!.>,<MM> In Teu learn.
Chit ago Tftl tin*-, !>*• Moitira Ult.
The smartest girl l'w met in lowa
I met yesterday at Nevada, .Story
county, northwestern lowa—Miss 1 telle
Clinton. Mien Clinton in u bright
eyel, rosy-cheeked girl of about twenty,
as full of fun and health aud vigor as
a good girl can be. Two years ago
Miss Clinton was a school teacher.
Saving up by her teaching about $1(10,
she last spring borrowed a span of
horses from her father, rigged up a
"prairie schooner," and, taking her
little brother, started for Dakota. Miss
Clinton says laughingly to-day, speak
ing of her trip : "Why I never lived
so nirely in my life, and I never had
such an appetite and such courtesy
I received everywhere! Hough, rude
men would come to our camp and
after I had talked to them awhile,
oiler t<> huihl my fire and actually
bring water to me. We went up
through the w heat country which they
call the "Jim Itivcr countrv.' It s
about 11K> milts east from the Missouri
at Fort Sully. I hoinesteaded JIM)
acres of laud. Then I took up a tim
ber claim of about 120 acres tuorc."
"What is a timber claim?"
"Why, I hired a man and we set out
10 acres of trees. This gave me 100
acres more. S 1 have 320 arres now.
They were young hcust, apple ami
black-walnut sprouts. I sowed a peck
of locust beans, a pint of apple-seed
and two bushels ot black walnuts in
our garden in lowa a year ago. These
sprouts were little fellows and we could
set them out fast—just go along and
stick them in the ground. Hut they j
are just a* good. 1 believe my 3,000
little black-walnut sprouts will he
worth s!■*> apiece in ten years aud 820
apiece in fifteen? My locust trees will
sometime fence the whole country."
"Then what did you do?"
"We built a shanty and broke up
five acres of land and this fall we came
back to lowa to s|iend the winter aud
here we are. In the spring I'll go
back with more black walnut and
locust sprouts aud take up 100 acres
more. The trees are just what I want
to plant, anyway,and they'll pay better
than any wheat crop that could be
raised—only I've got to wait for them
ten or twelve years; but I ran wait."
Here is a girl who owns in her own
right 3211 acres of splendid black
prairie soil now and who will own 4*o
acres in the spring,every acre of which
will bring s.*> within three years and
$lO within five years and 820 within
ten years. Her black walnut and lo
cust trees will le worth ns much more.
At thirty she will be worth 82.'},000.
An Arkansas Peculiarity.
Mill* Rofk Ark. (Utrllr,
There is A politeness, a kind of cor
diality, in Arkansan that you will not
find in many other Htate*. Now,
"Colonel" is a title of politeness. In
Little Rock when "Colonel is introduc
ed to you, why you at once know that
the gentleman is perfectly willing to
go with you and take a drink. When
"General" is introduced you may know
that he is willing to takesevcral drinks.
"Captain" is less fortunate; you only
owe him a nicklc cigar. A character
istic of Western people is their forget*
fulness of proper names. In this city
hundreds of people who associate to*
S ether daily only know each other
y titles. Yesterday a gentleman ap
proached a group of "stauders around,"
and, extending his hand, began to re
ceived congratulations.
"Why, Colonel," he said tooneman,
shaking his hand heartily, "I am over
joyed at seeing you. How is your
health?"
"First rate, Colonel. lam delight
ted to see you. Why, sir, I was say
ing yesterday that I'd rather see you
than any man in the Htate. Kxcuse
me a moment. Hay," he added, turn
ing to an acquaintance and drawing
him aside, "who ia (hat man t" He
seems to he well acquainted with me,
but blamed if 1 know jijfe from
Adam's off ox."
"You ought to know him. He is
your law partner, and only left the
city yesterday to attend the court in a
neighboring town,"
THE JKFFEKHO3IAN KKVIVAI,.
A Prominent Philadelphia Homocrat
Approves it
273 SOUTH 4tb STRKET, PIIIL'A. )
December 25, 1881. \
HON. CHAPKCEY F. DI.ACK, L'res't.
Dear Sir: —Your letter notifying
me that I have been unanimously elec
ted an honorary member of the Jefl'er
son Democratic association of York,
has been received.
Please convey to that association
the assuranec of my high appreciation
of the honor thus conferred upon me,
and accept yourself my sincere thanks
for the very kindly terms in which
you have communicated information
of its action.
My recent address before the Young
Men's Democratic association of this
city, to which you refer a* "in sub
stance and spirit," such UII ex|iosition
of Democratic principles as accord
with the views of those who compose
the Jefferson Democratic association
of York, was delivered without uotcs
ami was not reported. I cannot, there
fore, furnish you with a copy of it.
The principles of Democracy are
immutnhlc. New i*ue* constantly
present themselves; new principles
| never. The Democratic party i- u par
!ty of principles, not of issues. Its op
| [Kinent is a party of issues, not of prim
| ciples. llenee, Democrats find the
rightful solution of |M>litiral questions
| in the correct application of underty-
I ing principles ; but their adversaries —
j avoiding discussion of fundamental
j doctrines —appeal to passion, to pre-
I judicc or to material interests. That
j they have frequently done so with sue
-1 cess, has, I venture to suggest, resulted
1 from the fact that we —regarding only
I up|osed ex|M-diency—have ourselves
! UKJ often tolerated jMilitieal heresv, in
! stead of boldly asserting and fearlessly
' maintaining the fuith delivered by
; Thomas Jetferson to his disciples.
Your association may contribute
largely to the avoidance of this error
in the future. Such societies are the
1 seminaries of sound political principles
and from them they may be mo-t jw>-
I tently di nominated. Never has the
j necessity for them been nlore urgent
than now. The teachings of J< IK rson
are disregarded hy the old and are Uii
j known to the young. Men boat of
j the | H>* session of liberty, who reckless
ly hazard it* los*! They prate of love
lor the constitution, who have no con
ception of its spirit! They hlantently
assert their "loyalty to the I uion"
who utterly mistake its character; ami
those who most loudly proclaim their
"fealty to the government" nre most
profoundly ignorant of its nature!
That party which, under coloring of
supporting the rigbful authority of the
federal government, seeks to draw to
it the reserved jsiwers of the slaU-s,
manifestly threatens not only the ex
istence ot the latter, but a revolution
ary and destructive alteration of the
former as well, and yet the leaders of
that pnrtv profess that preservation of
the general goverment is the object of
their most earnest solicitude. They
in*i*t that their devotion to the consti
tution shall not lie questioned, and yet
they design to suWtitute a "Strong
Central Government" for that which
the constitution established with wise
ly restricted authority and jealously
limited powers to the end that a gov
ernment erected "to secure liberty"
might not itself become an instrument
for its subversion. They seem, too,
to have forgotten—or to desire that
others shall forget it —that the consti
tution was ordained "to form n more
perfect I nion" —not to annihilate it
hy consolidation; "to establish justice"
—not to concentrate power; "to insure
domestic tranquility"—not to promote
sectional animosity; "to provide for
the common defence" —not to subvert
the governments of the states; and "to
promote the general welfare" —not to
advnuce the interest* ola part at the
expense of the whole.
I believe that such associations as
yours ran greatly aid in the goml
work of securing a return in the ad
ministration of the government to the
principle* u|H>n which it was founded;
and I beg leave to express the hope
that the Jefferson Democratic associa
tion, of York, wtlLendeavor to bring
about the formalins of other similar
societies; and that it will take the ne
cessary initiatory steps to secure t'rater.
nal relations, harmony of counsels and
unity of action among them.
Your obedient servant,
GEOROE M. DALLA*.
Yovso man, you aresmart, talented,
good looking, rich, with plenty of
friends, and you propose to hare a
good time. This is all correct, if you
can judge correctly as to what a good
time is. If you think it is drinking
wine until you are bewildered, crazy,
unable to tell whether you are stand
ing on your feet or head, then you are
mistaken. If you think a good time
consists in having nothing else than to
dance attendance upon young ladies
of fashion, attend all the innny means
and ways of dissipation, nnd if you
believe a young man can engage in
these you are mistaken. If you con
tinue to engage in anything where you
do nothing hut spend ntouey and don't
make any, you will be making a mis
take. The best, the only way, if you
want to make uo mistake is to live for
something that is practical, aud do
something that will be a profit to some
oue.
(ieologist* are agreed that the earth
is millions of years old. The moun
tain tops have been bald as long as we
can remember.
A Western Sampson.
Booni- lw Htmi-Unl.
Jonas Johnson, or "Dig Jonas" is the
Goliah of this region, ami some of the
stories of his strength and endurance
sound fabulous. In 1858 he gained a
national reputation hy walking from
Illinois to California, pushing his pro
visions before him in a wheelbarrow.
He was living in Knox county, Illinois,
when tho gold fever swept over the
country, and being in the curly twenties
of his life was fired with ambition to
join the Argonauts.
He was imperfectly acquainted with
English, and had but 810 in cash, so
lie wulked across Illinois and lowa to
Omaha, making the distance in two
weeks. There ho bought a wheelbar
row and laid in a stock of provisions.
With these, ou the 15th day of April,
he pushed bodily out, am] ninety days
thereafter "landed" safely ut the dig
gings, some fifty miles northeast of
Sacramento, the first successful placer
mines. Here he went to work in the
same independent way he made the
journey—alone —ami was successful.
He was able to earn from $lO to 820
per day, according to the number of
hours he put in. A year satisfied him,
ami with a hag well filled with "dust"
he returned, byway of Panama and
New York, to his former home in Illi
nois.
His feats of strength are no less re
markable. About twenty years ago
he found a cow in no uncommon pre
dicament in those days—ruired in a
slough. A team of horses planted on
firm ground had proved unable to draw
her from the mire, whereupon Jonas,
laving down sonic boards to give a
good fooling, lifted her bodily out of
the swamp, and, seizing her by the
borus, dragged her to a firm ground.
At another time his wagon loaded
with hay la-came mired down ami the
horse* failed to extricate it. Joint- got
impatient, ami going to the rear, be
raised the load and pushed it forward
to belter ground, making a lift which
is moderately estimated at 1,3<)0
pound*, and |H-rfoiincd under unfa
vorable conditions. He is now it bale,
ruddy-faced man of fifty-eight years,
located on a tine farm of 120 seres in
lioom* and Hamilton counties, well
stocked and improved, beside* being
the fortunate owner of two others, 100
am] Pit I acres reflectively. He was
born in .Sweden, was twenty-two voars
old w hen be came to America ami has
la-en a resident of this county for
twenty-throe years. ll< standi six feet
two inches in his stockings, and tip*
the beam at 245 pound*. A No. 12
boot accommodate* his fi*it and bis
hum! is that of a giant.
The It under* of Common Paper.
To the Japanese we are indebted for
the discovery that paper can be made
into hundreds of articles for human
use. At the Atluuta exposition were
to be si-en a most extraordinary varie
ty of articles which had been made
from common paper pulp. These in
cluded car wheels, kitchen furniture,
wash basins, tubs, truck*, and even
houses. A ear wheel made of pafer
will run 2,400,000mi1ea without break
ing and is stronger than steel or iron,
ami then it is very much cheaper.
Paper is of surprising strength. A
twisted note of the Dank of England
will not t<-ar even though three hun
dred nnd twenty nine younds weight
is suspended from the end of it. Pa
per ran lie compressed so hard that tt
will tear a chisel into piece* if the lat
ter is held against it. One of the great
values of paper is that it can be made
to take the place of wood. Furniture
made of it looks liko black wulnut,
and is really stronger as well as chea
per; indeed there is now less danger
from the wasting of our forest trees
than there was before the various uses
of paper were discovered. Stove* are
made of paper ami are so incombusti
ble that it is impossible to burn them.
It is possible to make even a steam
engine of paper; in short, it has been
found that the linen fibre from which
the host paper is made will in the fu
ture he as valuable to mankiud as
wood or iron.
Australian Customs.
When a girl is betrothed her mother
and aunts may not look at or speak to
the man for the rest of his life, hut if
they meet him they squat down by the
wayside and cover up their hchds, and
when he and they are obliged to speak
in one another's presence they use a
peculiar lingo, which they call "turn
tongue." This queer dialect is not
used for eooeealineut, for everybody
understand* it, and some examples of
it show that it ha* much in common
with the ordinary lauguage. To give
an idea of the siatc of formality into
which life has come amoug these sup
|*sed free-and-easy savages, mention
may be made of the duties of the brides
maid and groomsman. When the
mnrried pair have been taken to the
new hut built for them, for the next
two months the groomsmen and the
husband sleep on nue side of the fire,
and the bridesmaid and the wife on
the other, the new-married couple not
being allowed to speak or to look at
one another. The bride is called "not
look-around," and the pair in thia em
barrassing position are a standing joke
to the young people living near, who
amuse themselves by peeping in aud
laughing at them.
"I know where the dark goes when
morning comes," said little Clara. "It
goes down cellar; it'a dark there all I
day."
Hn ret-Minded Women.
Ko great i* tha influence of sweet
minded women on those arourid her,
that it is hlinnet boundleca. It is U
her that friend* come in seasons of
sorrow And nick nee* for help aud com
fort; one *<>othing touch of her kindly
hand work* wonder* in the feveri-li
child; a few word* let full from her
lip* in the car of a sorrowing sister
dire* much to raise the load of grief
that i* bowing it* victim down to the
dust in anguish. lhc husband come*
home, worn out with the pressure of
husine", and feeling irritable with the
world in general; but when lie enters
the cosy sitting room, and see* the
blaze of the In igh fire, and meets hi*
wife* smiling face, he succumbs in a
moment to the soothing influence*
which act as the balm of (iilcad to hi*
wounded spirits, that are wearied with
the stern realities id' life. The rough
schoolboy flies in a rage from the
taunt* of bis companions to find so
lace in his mother's smile; the little
one, full of grief with its own large
trouble, finds a heaven of rest on it*
mother's breast; and so one might go
on with instance after instance of the
influence that a sweet-minded women
ha* in the social life wills which she is
connect* <l. I'eauty is an insignificant
power when compared with hers.
bankruptcy.
NaUoaal S *. Tmrhrr.
A little l>'y applied to General f lin
ton Is. I"ik for capita! to go into buri
neaa. Amount wanted—seventy-five
ceuta. ituiiinvv—bootblacking. Sta
tion—near Fulton Ferry, New York.
Profits to In- divided at the end of six
months*. The arrangement wag made
and the firm began business. One
Monday morning, however, the work
ing partner came into the general'*
office wearing a very lugubrious coun
tenance.
"What's the matter?" a-ked the
general.
"Oh." rani the I my, "it's all up."
"All up !"aid the general; "what do
you mean ?" "Oh," replied the urchin,
"the firm'a busted." "How is that?'
wa the inquiry. "Well," said the boy,
"I had $1 92 on hard ; but yesterday
a man came into our Sunday school
and saiil we must give all of our money
to the mi-sionary society, and 1 put all
in—couldn't help it—an' it's all up
with us." We have no doubt that the
firm immediately resumed business
again—but is the first partnership
bunted in that way ! llence our ex
treme sympathy.
A NEWLY married couple received
a rolling pin a a wedding present
from a rich and eccentric uncle a few
•lays ago, and expecting something
handsome from him, they wgf<> so en
raged that they threw it out the win
dow, ami somch >dv carried it off. They
are madder now. for he has written to
the bride saving that the utensil, be
sides being useful as a dough manipu
lator and husband subduer was valua
ble within itself, ami she would find
I on unscrewing the handle a cavity con
taining a pearl necklace, which he
hoped she would wear from kind re
gard for the donor. But it was gone.
DR. BLISS, j n a magazine article, re
| counting the incidents of the I'resi
dent's illness, (tears testimony to the
j fact that card* were a frequent social
! diversion with Mr. Garfield, that his
inind ran to that recreation during his
illness, and that in his very last stages
i he made a motion as if shuffling card*.
A Nova Scotia editor wrote the fob
: low ing headline to a dispatch : "The
; British Lion Shaking his Mane." He
, went into fits, from which Lc has not
yet recovered, reading the printer's
version : "The British Lion Skating
in Maine."
Burlingtou Hawkeye : It is feared
that the enormous manufacture of
wooden toothpicks it utterly destroy
ing the forests of America.but then the
young man who pcnds all his salaiy
for good clothes must have something
to eat.
A boy in a country wlioo) wan rend*
ing the following sentence, "The light
house in a land-mark by day and a
beacon by nigh," and tic mxMi it
thus: "The light-house in a lamMord
by day and a deacon bv nigh."
How la* it that when a young lady
; rum off and marries a coachman every
body generally, and her parents in |r
ticular, raise old Cain about it, aud
nothing at all is ever said wheu a
bride marries a groom ?
doab Hillings very sensibly declares
that a fanatic ia the worst man any
body can encouuter, because reason
has no power over him, and it ia against
the law- to club him.
When the girl who has encouraged
a young man for about two years sud
denly tells him that ehe never can be
more than a sister to biru lie can for
the first time see the freckles on her
nose.
A debating society has tackled the
question. "Is it worse to think yeu'ie
at the top when there is one stair moie
than to tliiuk there is one stair mots
when you have reached the top.
A man with a small salary and large
family says if pride goes before a fail
he would like to tee pride strart ou a
little ahead of the price of coal and
provisions.