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EVENING PUBLIC LEDGElt PHILADELPHIA, FRIDAY, JANUARY 30, 1920
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rUBLIC LEDGER COMPANY
',rh"M H Ludlnston, Vies Prraldent: John C
Mjrt1n,SPrMrv an1 Trmnuivr; Thlllp 8 Collin,
worm It. Williams, John .lSpurRfon, I)lnctnr.
r.biTonTAT- no.vno!
Cvncs II K "dins. Chairman
JUV'D K. SMI MTV Editor
jdllN C. MAltTIN' General Uualncm Manager
rubl!shn" (till nt Venno t.nont.n Ilulldlns,
Indprrndenre Stiu.irc. I'hllaillhlit
ATf.ANTio Citt rrrjj.tiilon Uiiildlnc
Km Yook .. iOU Metropolitan Tower
Dkthoit 701 Ford llulldlne
KT. Uins ,.,'. .lnos milorton Itnlldlnc
Cmciuo ISOa rrtomic Bulldlrs
VHV IJUnnAL'S:
WAKUIMJTOS llir.ni I
N n. i 'or lni'sIvanla Ave. nd 11th St.
Kw Yimi. Ill in ai The sn.i llullilln?
Loauun li ii vi. London Time;
flvnsrturTiox TiHimh
TIm Kiimv, run ir Luairjt If jervej to sub
crlbers In 1'hllarleJphlii ami nirrojndlng towns
,t the rate of twelve (1-) cents p;r week, payable)
to the rarrler.
Ilv mall to point outside of rs.lla'teHhla. In
1h United Htatea, Canada, or UnlUd State no
fehnon. pottnse free, flftj "iOI rent per month.
Six (Jill dollar pr ear. payable In advance,
To all forlKii rojntrlea one I'll dollar per
month
Noticb- Siilwrlbers Triiir.nc mlars chansca
muit give o' 1 . U ps re. a lurers.
M.H.. "too niMT
KIT. STONE. MAIN 3000
CT Addresi aV ciMwmiicnflon to Itvcmnp Pttblto
Lcdorr I tlr id nr ' iqi ar . Vilodepiia.
Member of the Associated Press
tii" associatud pnnss u cxciu-
nivclj entitled to the 113c for republication
of nil lines dtinatehes credited to it o not
u'7iiTir. vt edited In this paper, and also
the Unfit in n's ' 'tfrlisiied theirin.
All ii'tht- o- icnubhcafo 1 f rpcctal dis
patches herctii. arc also rcsirvcd.
i 1 luj, . nday, January 3(1. 1920
THE WATER SUPPLY
TF DOCTOR FURBUS'H knew as much
- about rr.1r.1ic pal fir.ancc a.-i he knows
about aiiit t m lie Ci I 1 ha- c hevlaUd
before putt-njr t,ie o..stinp; water s.. steu
in the lust of futilities that cry cut to be
abolished and leplaeed toy better things.
He would have spared our feelings.
To say that dependence on Schuylkill
water is unwise will not do any good.
With vast outlays of money water might
be brought from the Pocono regions
through viaducts such as now serve New
York city. But where is the money to
come from? The city is now deep in a
financial morass, where it was permitted
to drift during the reckless and lazy
years that hae passed. Until we arc on
solid ground again theie is nothing to do
but improve the present water system
and increase the elTic;ency of the filter
plants built to purify river water and
render it generally wholesome.
Normally the filtration system operates
successfully to this end. Water isn't as
plentiful as it might be in Philadelphia.
But ordinal ily it is as frc from imouri
ties as the water which othe cities obta.n
from mountain sources. A prolonge 1
period of cold weather is responsible for
the present condition of the water, which.
Recording to chemist-, is not uivwholc
6omc though it is unpalatable. A cloger
application of the tato laws inspired, if
memory serve-, by the late Dr. Samuel G.
Dixon to p;-ot"ct ?U stieaV.i:- from pollu
tion is a tii'fp-saiy pt weeding. On the
rivers' we .-.hull hav- to depend until
money 1- aiuihihlu for the bettji- M.,jp!y
which will hae to bo provide 1 a- .,. n
as the cit i p'ole to afford it.
MORE ABOUT THE BRIDGE
TPVERYBODY will dtr.nul 1-oj 0 ihat
J-' the architects cmur :u! null the
Delaware bridge and the engineeis for
whom Mr. Quimby speak.- will nut emu
late the example of Republ.ean and
Democrats in the Senate "and lefuse to
agree until one or the other group -can
be annihilated.
It may be aid that Mr. Quimby, in de
manding prior rights for engineers, is
crossing his bridge before he coiWs to it.
But it is not too early to recognize the
need for a structuie that, while serving
practical needs, should not hurt eyes that
look at it.
Architects and engineers have related
functions. But who will be able to recon
cile them if they beg:n to ouarrcl now?
RUSSIA'S EIGHT MILLION
fpHOSE alleged preparations for a Bol-
shevist high jump over the Himalayas
and Hindu Rush, which so excited Lon
don a few weeks ago, seem to have been
imperfectly advanced. However, this is
only natural, .-ince, according to a more
"Sccent report, that soviet government is
now engaged in raising an army of
8,000,000 men, which General Brusiloff
has been badgered into commanding.
Naturally some little time is required for
marshaling these hordes, even in Com
munist Russia. Perhaps we shall have to
wait a c -"iple of week.- for the invasion
of Punjab, -if Mesopotamia, Persia and
Poland.
Meanwhile there is opportunity to won
der whether the silly season, formerly
slated for midsummer, has slipped around
on the calendar. Such di.-location might
f.erve to explain several things. The re
pute of Russian humor, however, is not
high and the run of the jokes which have
crept into the incessant Bolshevist propa
ganda is probably the only thing about
it which is unintentional.
In the present instance laughter is not
likely to have been sought by tho rumor
mongers. That is a reason why it is
wholesome to indulge ourselves.
HIGH PRICES AND BIRTH RATE
" rnHE number of births in the state of
New York la.-t ear was 30,000 below
tho normal, affording to the state com
missioner of health. Ho assigns tho war
and the high cost of living as tho causes
of this decrea-o. The birth rate for the
first eight month.- of the year was 10 per
cent lower than the average for the pre
ceding five years.
These are disturbing figures. But they
are nowhoie near so disturbing as the
vital statistics of Franco for recent
years. The re-ords for 1913, the year
before tho war, show that there were
CO 1,000 births and 587,000 deaths in the
whole country. In 1011 the baths feM
to 592,000 and the deaths roso to 047,000,
without counting the lives lost in battle.
YWie deaths from oidinary causes have
Tqnained around (10,000 annually for the
succeeding years, but the births have
fallen to :S87,000 in 1915, .115,000 in 1916
. und 343,000 in 1917, the latest year for
which the figures are available on this
side of tho ocean.
This is what war does to the popula
tion of a country. It cuts the birth rate
half. One reason for this is the
forced separation of parents. Another
Mjrid fcompelHng icason i tho deryiat x
1t VWCt of i'"tJiey which'?" t c
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cause in France. The cheap dollar is
doubtless tho principal cause for the
falling birth rate of New York. It is
likely that when tho vital statistics of
the other states arc published they will
show a similar decline due to similar
causes.
Normal conditions will ultimately be
restored both hero and in France. They
will be hastened if the purchasing power
of the dollar can be restored to its pre
war state or if the pay of the salaried
man can be increased so that he can buy
with it, as much as he bought in 1914.
AMERICA, SUCCESSOR
OF ANCIENT BABYLON
This Country Is Now the Commercial
Center of the World, and a Piffling
Senate Cannot Stop the Opera
tion of Elemental Forces
'T,HERE is a broader significance in Sec---
rotary Lansing's report to the Senate
that the United States has achieved the
economic position that Germany sought
to win by war than is indicated by his
recommendation that the bureaus in
Washington dealing with international
trade be consolidated.
If we can understand how andwhy the
United States has l cached its present
"position of economic preponderance," to
use the phiase of tho secretary of stale,
we may be able to shape our course in
the present and the future with a closer
regard to the great forces at work in tho
world than has lately been shown in
Washington.
Mr. Lansing says that we are where
wc are because o" th? war. This is true
in a ntir.o'. aiu1 re.-' :. tct' t-onse. But
the war was really only an incident in
the outworking of forces which were de
stroying the stability of the commercial
equilibrium of nations.
At the close of the Spanish-American
War Brooks Adams, a grandson of John
Quincy Adams, called attention to the
existing unstable equilibrium which
threatened the supremacy of London as
the world's commercial capital, and he
prophesied that Great Britain would in
the near future be compelled to take sec
snd place to either Germany or the United
States. Unknown contingencies would de
c'de whether it was to be Germany or the
United States. The prophecy of Mr.
Adams has been fulfilled before our eyes
and the unforeseen contingency of the
war instigated by Germany has turned
the scale in favor of America.
Any one familiar with the history of
the last two or three thousand years will
recognize, as soon as his attention is di
rected to it, why America occupies its
present position of economic supremacy.
Before the development of the resources
tf this country the commercial capital of
the wprld was where the trade of the
East met tho trade of tho West.
It wa- because anciont Baby'on was
this meeting place that the Babylon'an
cwpire roso and flourished. 'The rise of
tho power of Rome threatened and finally
overthrew the Babylonian commeicial
power. When Rome decline. 1 Constanti
nople flout iskod-and th3 East and the
West met on the shores of the Bosporus
and the city was the center of the world's
exchanges. Then the gioat commercial
geniusos of the Venetian republic began
to seek trade. For one reason or another
the power of Constantinople waned and
Venice succeeded the city on the Bosporus
as the point of exchancre for the products
of the Orient and the Occident.
Venice Wi succteded by Antwerp
through the enterprise of the Dutch navi
gators and because of the political and
mora! deterioration of the Venetians.
The Napoleonic wars destroyed the trade
of Antwerp, which was diverted to Brit
ish ports, and by 1810 London became the
heir of the commercial traditions of
Babylon, Rome. Constantinople, Venice
and Antwerp, and for ninety years or
theieabuuts occupied a position of un
doubted supremacy, buttressed by a mo
nopoly of the trade of India, over which
she exeicised political control.
But events over which Great Britain
had no control had been happening in
these ninety years.
The United States had developed from
a small agricultural nation into a great
manufacturing people producing more
pig iron a trade barometer than any
othernation.
Germany after its consolidation in 1870
had devoted itself to commerce and to
manufactures. Her production of pig
iron increased by leaps and bounds. She
was sending her products to every coun
try of tho globe. She had developed the
port of Hamburg from an insignificant
inland city many miles from the sea, on a
shallow river, into one of the greatest
shipping centers of the world, where car
goes from all climes were unloaded and
transshipped to their ultimate destina
tion. As every shifting of the trade center in
the past had ben accompanied by great
world cataclasms, the elements were ar
ranged at the beginning of the present
century for a new cataclasm. It did not
come for fourteen years, but it wa3 in
evitable. Its inescapability does not ac
quit Germany of her crimes. It makes
Germany guilty of the high crime of de
liberately plotting to wrest from their
natural course the forces at work and to
compel them to tlo her bidding.
Germany lost tho war and lost that
position of economic supremacy for which
she had been working. In her commer
cial collapse she has carried with her the
rest of the nations of Europe. The
United States remains the one great
power with its resources unimpaired and
in a position to hold the center of the
commercial stage for many years. She
stands between the East and the West in
a position of great strategic strength.
The Senate, however, is blundering
along on the theory that the United
States can continue to occupy the center
of the stage without coming in contact
with any of the other parties to the play.
It is a blunder so stupendous that its
magnitude cannot be estimated at the
present time.
All we know is that this country is a
creature of the same forces that have
been at work during all the centuries
since Babylon gave way to Rome as the
world's commercial center. We cannot
escape from them. Whether wo ratify
the treaty" unchanged, or revise it or re
ject it, we Bhall be rocked on the current
of world affairs across both tho oceans.
Fiflllnu quibbles about the right of Con
grena under a treaty to say when, the
armies are to to used are m-e waxte
of breath. Events beyond tho control of
Congress will dictnto in this matter when
the crisis comes. All that the Senate is
doing nowadays is to hldo its head in tho
sand lest it sec what is impending.
Ecry lesson of history teaches that
the present commercial'cquilibrium, with
the United States holding the balance, is
not permanent. How our own expansion
in a hundred years has disturbed the old
conditions should lead all men who think
in decades instead of in seconds to con
sider the other undeveloped regions of tho
caith and their possibilities.
No man can tell what the state of
China will be in fifty years. It is a coun
try of vast population and undeveloped
resources, and its people have only just
begun to awaken from tho millenniums of .
sleep and look about them, hat 400,
000,000 Chinese using modern industrial
methods can do no man can foretell. Rus
sia is still in its industrial infancy, and
the Germans who were plotting to act as
its tutors in the school of trade have not
given up their purpose. It is conceivable
that Russia and China may in a century
shift the commercial capital to Pekin.
But both Africa and South America must
be considered continents neither of
which has been more than scratched on
the surface as possible counterbalances
against a swing to China.
The development of all these regions is
as certain as fate. That they will affect
this country for good or ill must be evi
dent to every one who docs not close his
eyes to the obvious.
The duty of civilized men today is to
consider these great potentialities and to
confer with i ne an 'ther to deviso -oiro
scnome which will ; ormit readjustments
as thej. become necessary, without icsott
to such an intolerable thing as war. Tho
task is not easy, but its difficulties should
not deter us from undertaking it. The
surest way to bring about the disasters
which the obstructing senators profess to
fear is to turn their backs on the truth
and saunter blindly into the abyss.
GOMPERS ON BOLSHEVISM
NE of the bitterest paragraphs in the
anaignment of Bolshevist theory
which Mr. Gompers has just published in
Federation of Labor journals is flung at
high-browed radical editors those opin
ionated brahmins of class journalism who
are disposed to see something leasonablc
in the Lenine philosophy.
The head of American trades unionism
is not without justification in his assump
tion that they are capable of a good deal
of harm. Not every one can digest the
high-flavored economic theories which
they expound. But there are a great
many earnest and light-minded folk who
like any theory for its sound alone. In
what might be called the modern liberal
movement they are tho matinee crowd.
For them the deft writing of the moie
pretentious ultra-radicals has a definite
appeal. It is like music or hypnotism.
Mr. Gompers sees deeper into the
whole matter. Unlike the matinee Bol
sheviks, he does not approach it as one
conscious of an.inherited immunity from
labor and labor's actual troubles. He is
able to understand the meaning of tho
one great fact that stares out of bol
shevized Russfa and to read its implica
tions more intelligently than any ama
teur dabbler in "liberal"' doctrines,.
This is tho fact of compulsory labor.
Emma Goldman and her followers were
confronted by it when they first set foot
in soviet territory. It is a new thing
under the sun. In Russia "working units"
under state control are common. The
dictators ignore all individual rights and
they have only hatred and contempt for
the claim to freedom of action expressed
in labor unions.
It is not strange that this astonishing
reversal from civilized standards should
enrage the federation leader. No imperious-minded
capitalist ever thought of
such a thing. Vast masses of men and
women, denied the right of initiative, or
ganized like tho bees in working detach
ments at jobs selected for them by a sys
tem of government that also fixes their
rate of pay at a figure suggested by the
needs of the governors, ditfiVt figure in
the wildest dreams of the German au
tocracy. Such, however, are the founda
tions of bolshevi-m.
The spectacle doesn't trouble the newer
"intellectual liberals," who, preaching to
tho proletariat, are still leisurely, well
fed and true to their aristocratic tenden
cies. It does offend a man who has been
a worker and the friend of workers.
Tho Socialist party
Vp Don't Agree dfinaiiiN of its cnntli
With 'Km, Kut '!'it's for luilitii'.il of
fice that they signify
their willingness to respond to a recall when
tholr party tires of thrill. This is unusual,
but not lipcc-sarily culpable. TIip disposition
nmoiic sumo New York politicians to soc
somothin!" criminal in the practice awakens
the thought iu the minds of the ultra-charitable
that hatred for lawlessness sometimes
gives patrioti-m jaundiced eyes.
Howard E. Figg, who
Flggiir.it irely i- conducting the gov
.Speaking erninenfs inquiry into
the high cost of cloth
ing, will probably illustrate his reports. As
thus: Figg 1 Coat-tails flying as wearer
chases the fifty-cent dollar. Figg II Pants
pockei. Kinpty.
The unanimitj with whiWi German
newspapers indor-o the action of Holland in
refusing to give up the ex-Uai-er gives the
lie to the frequently made as-ertion that the
(iermun people were the unwilling victims of
a tyrannienl military system.
There is nothing essentially revolution
ary in tho advocacy by Dr. Nicholas Murray
Itutlcr of a commission on industrial rela
tions to "represent the public alone." That
ii precisely what our courts represent ; anil
tho thing repre-ented necessarily embraces all
litigants, nil parties to a depute.
Influenza has procured a slaj of pro
ceedings iu New York eviction cases. The
profiteering landlord who said "Watch my
smoke!" saw it go up the "ilu."
"If yon are conducting experiments in
the field of psjehic researi h. do so with grave
purpoc," sns Sir Oliver Lodge. Yen, with
beyond -the -grave purpose.
Whcro Sympathy doesn't prompt assist
ance in stricken J'urope, Ilxpediency pre
sents educational moving picture..
lleet sugar has temporarily put an end
to the necessity for walking the sugar bent
from store to store-
1'erbninr Uergtloll waim to imply tltut
lit
vquM r$ her ioot WueblroV than llusir.
HOW A GAG KILLED A PARTY
The Allen and Sedition Laws Dealt to
the Federalists, Who Made the
Nation, a Blow From Which
They Never Recovered
"ITtTIIKN on Amerlcnn political party "goes
'" west" it is permanently defunct. No
trnnsccndetitnlist, however scientific, has
succeeded in establishing any communication
with the Federalists as n faction, with tho
"Know Nothings," tho Populists or tho
Whigs,
The plijsicist maintains that nothing is
ever really destrojed. Yet parties arc.
Neither ether nor the subtlest qrgon pre
seizes (hem after the passing.
As a rule the disintegration is slow. The
issues grow ntrophled. The fiinernl is ob
scure, unnoticed. Once, however, in the
annals of this republic a great political party
went out with a bang, in n tempest of acrl
iminj and in an uproar which affected the
whole course of Ameiienn history.
The Federalist faction, forever illustrious
for having rescued the nation from chaos,
strode to its fate with blind deliberation.
Four lnwsnkiii in spirit, slew this political
body and walled up its tomb. The lessons
of this legislation nrc still suggestive.
A S SO often happens, the blunder was
" made when the party responsible had
reached n pinnacle of power and prosperity.
The Federali-ts were unused to such general
favor. It had been denied them during
Washington's second administration, when
the Anglophobes and the Gnllophobcs were
on lively lighting terms.
Kut iu 17!)S the revolutionists in control
of Finnce frivolously nud insolently jeopard
ized the old claims of friendship. Presi
dent John Adams revealed the French insultB
to hi- coiiimi ioiiei-s, Marshall and Pinck
nej . and made public the X, Y. 'A cor
lespondence, with its damning disclosure of
the efforts to bribe the American representa
tives. The French Government had de
manded that the President's message to Con
gress be modified, and had called for a bribe
of 240,000 and the negotiation by the United
States of a loan to the Directory.
American indignation was aroused to the
boiling point. The country prepared vigor
ously for war, the navy and army were re
organized. For perhaps the only time iu
his life John Adams became widely popular.
His position was still further Intrenched by
the exploits of the new frigate Constellation,
which humbled a French man-of-war in the
West Indies.
WITHIN a few months the political com
plexion of the country underwent n
startling change. The Federalist party will
fully abused its power by the passage of re
pressive laws at variance with the spirit of
the constitution and stupidly unreflective of
the pervading temper of the times.
Of notorious memory, indeed', nrc the alien
and sedition nets enacted by the Adams ad
ministration in the summer of 170S. The
two least offensive of the four concerned the
status und treatment of foreigners. Provi
sion was made for the disposition of aliens
with whoso, government the United States
might happen to be nt war, and the qualifi
cation for naturalization was made fourteen
instead of three years' residence.
Much more high-handed was the act au
thorizing the President to remove from tho
country aliens judged to be dangerous, with
out a reason or without a trial. The uncon
stitutionality of this law scarcely admitted
of any doubt. Its operation was fixed nt
two years, during which time Adams never
made any use -of it. Although he had signed
it, his own .sense of law and fair play re
strained him from exercising this question
able authority.
I'ut the sedition act was not moribund,
ISy its provisions the publication of any false,
scandalous or malicious writings against the
government, Congress or the President, with
intent to defame them or to bring them into
contempt or to excite the hatred of the people
against them, became a crime.
In a word, the law comprehended the sup
pression of free speech and was in direct
violation of the first amendment to the con
stitution. It was aimed directly nt the
Democratic-Republican opposition editors.
Yet the Federalists were also intemperate of
speech and pen and the word "intent" was
capable of the most drastic construction. The
life of the law was nearly three jears.
Ri:s
o
LSISTANCK to the gag was immediate.
ne of the first victims of the lnw was
Matthew Lyon, a ,rabid Democratic-Republican
member of Congre-s from Vermont. He
fought with li-ts us well as quill, and on one
occasion he had a rough-and-tumble fight on
the floor of the House with the Federalist,
(iriswold.
Shortly after the sedition bill became a
law Lon iu a Vermont newspaper violently
intiiized the government for "its ridiculous
pump, foolish adulation and selfish avarice."
lie was lined 10(10 and sentenced to four
mouths' imprisonment. A petition for his
pardon was presented, but Adams refused to
idd. While still in prison he was ro
cketed to Congress.
Another critic, an editor, was sent to jail
for stating that Adams was "hardly in. the
infancy of political niistnkc." Hamilton was
aciu-ed of bujing a Democratic-Republican
journal in order to proselytize for the Fed
eralists. "Offenses" of this sort were very different
from the commission of treasonable acts. If
the law b its language assumed to foster u
decent respect for the government, it became
in its operation nn instrument of tyranny,
enabling the administration to indulge its
partisan spite.
TIIR reaction was terrific, Jefferson heat
edly drafted the famous Kentucky reso
lutions nnd Madison those of the Virginia
Legislature. These pronouncements strik
inglj exemplify the evil of reckless nuto
orutie lawmaking. They enunciated vicious
state rights theories, expressed sentiments
coucernlng the constitution in the language
almost of contempt, and for more than half
a century were used as arguments on behalf
nf the principle of secession. Jefferson had
followed up Adams's grievous error with one
of his own.
The damage wrought by the resolutions,
however, was reserved for tho future. The
blow to tho Federalist party was instant.
Adams failed of re-election. His party was
irretrievably ruined. There were, of course,
other onuses for the downfall, but had the
alien and sedition laws not-been passed the
Federalists might have survived their other
mistakes. The Democratic-Republicans or
the Dinocrats, us they wero afterward
called, controlled the I'nited States through
ten consecutive administrations.
POLITICAL poisou undoubtedly lurks iu
laws which curtail free speech. Tho
Federalist party wallowed its own corro
sive concoction nnd committed suicide. Many
noble principles of that body are current to
day, but as an organization even its ghost
vanished early in tho nineteenth century.
If a wraith was left it was mute per
haps, appropriately enough, gagged.
Curiously enough, rcmurked the dry
humorist, the inventories of liquor stocks in
this city being taken by Internal revenuq and
prohibition agents consist of dry figures that
make the mouth water.
H JJrrgdoll is found ybc insane tlicrp
will not be wmitiiw thtiw'Uady to deeigre
Hint be i uionr ynwi
. . , .
'l .lie' i, r -'Mk- S&IIIIIUtMMIitMiKS!i ffillli
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THE CHAFFING DISH
Rlttenhouse Square
QUADRANGLE clipped and cleanly swept
and sleek,
Garnished with nursemaids nnd with little
boys
And dainty girls, unspotted as to brcek
Or pinafore, expensive as to toys
Along those graveled walks withvwcll-bred
eye
And quadrupedal gait in timed accord,
Parade the couples favored of the Lord
And flavor May-time with gentility.
Kacchnntic with the rising sap of spring,
Full often Irish Moll and Swedish Yimmy
List to Antonio's tunes, nnd, while thej
sing,
Adown the sacred greensward shake a
shimmy.
O sanctitude of haughty Persian cats,
And J. A. P. K. Twiddle in gray spats !
ALEC K. STEVENSON.
Social Chat
A serious misunderstanding was narrowly
averted at a local second-hand bookstore
recently. Jim Shields, our particular blbllo
Bhark, was mistaken for a copy of "Sense
and Senbibillty," andwas bought and paid
for by a customer. James, absorbed In
looking up some matters for tho DlsfT, did
not realize what was happening until they
Btarted to wrap him up.
Marathon Is Inconsolable, for Bill Stltcs,
the well-proportioned commuter on tno
Cinder and Bloodshot, Is uolng to leave.
Bill has acquired what Is known as a piece
of property, down Blverton way, and the
rabbit hounds, the fowling piece, and what
ever it Is that Bill keeps locked up In the
cupboard under the cellar stairs, are all
going down thero with him.
Wd hav the abovo on the authority of
Hank Harris, upon whom and Fred Myers
falls tho burden of acting as nucleus of tha
new social order In Marathon, Hank has
dark penetrating eyes and a manner of much
charm ; he would bo useful as a social nucleus
anywhere
Edgar A. Guest, the copyright, 1920, poet,
has just remarked for the COOOth tlmo that
this la a glorious world and honest toil Is
sweet Indeed.
The Bad Old Days
Herbert Swire, n kindly member of the
Contrlbutionship for the Insurance of tho
Chaffing Dish From Lack of Material, has
sent us n pamphlet In which we learn that
-00 years ago u line of twelve pence was im
posed on any one who smoked tobacco in tho
streets of Philadelphia, either by day or
night. This wns not n moral measure, how
ever, but a precaution against lire.
Our dangerous rivnl, the Atlantic Monthly,
has announced the forthcoming publication
of the journal of n scvou-ycar-old girl. The
Atlantic says "the diary has nothing in it
of precocious smartness." This, we take it,
is a rebuke for that worldly wise infant
Daisy Abhford.
AVe are going to take great pains to sec
that the Urchin compiles a full diary of his
heart und mind as soon as lie gets to intel
lectual maturity, which seems to be about
seven yeurs nowadays. If the public appetite
for juvenile literature continues wo may lie
able to retire on the Urchin's royalties a few
years hence.
Strickland Oilman, tho well-known wag
and author of "Off Agin, On Agin, Gone
Agin, Finnigan," was In town jesterday.
One of our secret agents, passing near Kelly
street and hearing loud screams pf laughter,
hurried in and found Mr. Gillllau telling
what are technically known as "good ones"
to Judge Patterson, T. A. Daly and A. Ed
ward Newton. Our representative repeated
a number of these btories to us, and we. re
gret to report that wo found only one of them
available for this department.
One of the oulja-bourd votaries, said Mr,
GllliIiC oaCe took Ids planchctlo lo Jamea
Wbltcoptb Riley and auked litin if there was
ny pwt he would like to: pet U'eommuulcn-
tion with. Mr. Riley said he would like
very much to hear from Charles Lamb, Ac
cordingly the otiija board was set in nction,
but only a meaningless scries of consonants
resulted. The owner of the board, who had
vouched for satisfactory results, was rather
disconcerted and apologized for tho failure
to connect with the spirit of Elia.
N "On the contrary," said Riley, "I think
you have demonstrated the validity of your
apparatus perfectly."
"What do you mean?" said the other.
"Why," said Riley, -smiling, "don't you
remember that Lamb stuttered?" ,
Mr. Gillilan was on his way to lecture at
Collcgeville, and we begged him to tell our
cherished contributor, M. V. N. S., if she
should he in the audience, that we have not
read "The Lunatic at Large."
G. II. C. writes asking us to protest
against n furrier's nd he has seen in a local
paper. It runs: Farmers and Trappers Are
Invited to ISrinh Us Their Haw Skins. We
Pay Cash for Them.
G. II. C. adds that he is a farmer, trying
to earn n living near Malvern, nnd that iu
hard times it isn't fair to tempt one this way.
The First .of the Valentines
WILL you
Yet, ah
you be my Valentine?
foolish lay I
Vnleutines are short, they last
Only for n day.
IMter 'twere tp be iny friend
Tor tho whole year through,
Than the best of Vnlentiucs
Striving to be true.
Better far to love mo less
And to love me long;
Valentines arc short as Life,
Friends as Art are long.
t
1 will try to be content
With you as you arc.
Knowing friends than Valentines
Better are by far.
Yet, my friend, I sometimes wish,
Wero you nothing loath, -Once
a year at any rate
That you would bo both.
K. G, F.
Zoo-IIIoquy
WE TOOK a journey to the Zoo
As once each year we always do ;
And in the Monkey House we lingered
To see them swing so nimble lingered;
One in her nntics sure did miiko
Uh laugh to see her sway and shake,
"That," my companion said, "must be
The original Shimmy-puiizee."
CECELIA.
We often wonder whnt the young men in
tho collar ads would be like if met in real life.
This Is Regrettable
Socrates, sonklng icebergs in his beaker
Of coffee, must render Hh potency weaker.
Tho temperature he must attain thus is seen
Ky turning your Bible to Rev. ill, 10.
M. V. N. S.
One of the things thut worries the world
of spirits (so a reticent und bashful ghost
whispers to us) is, Hiippose'Georgo Creel
should sigh for new worlds to conquer and
should undertake to compel ull tho inlmbi
tnuts of the Beyond to take courses in Mem
ory, Concentration and Mcutnl Purposeful
ness. The reason why we have Vot written tho
promised essay On Keeping Children Cov
ered nt Night is that wc have not yet solved
the- problem. In spite of long and patient
researches, we have nothing constructively
helpful to suggest. Only the observation that
girls arc worse than boys,
Dunrave n Rlcak, the world's sreatest desk
cleaning contractor, who submitted leaders
for the, final purging nf oiirlltoirAiiivfi.tt
h,q has' filed .jlti(m in bnitfnWy. '
A LULLABY
(From a Play)
XTOW silent falls the clacking mill;
' Sweet sweeter smells the briar;
The dew wells big on bud and twig;
The glow-worm's wrapt In lire;
Then sing hilly, ltillay, with me; ,'
And softly, lill-Iall-lo, love; t
'Tis high time, nnd wild thyme, '
And no time, no, love.
The western sky has veiled her rose,
The night wind to the willow
Sigheth, "Now, lovely, lean thy head,
Thy tresses be my pillow!"
Then sing lully, lullay, with me ;
And softly, lill-lnll-lo, love;
'Tis high time, nnd wild thyme,
And no time, no, love.
Cries in the brake; bells in the sea;
The moon o'er moor nnd mountain
C'ruddles her light from height to height,
Bedazzles pool and fountain.
Leap fox ; hoot owl ; wail warbler sweetl
'Tis midnight now n-brewing;
The Fairy Mob nrc all abroad,
And Witches at their wooing,
Then sing lully, lullay, with rae;
And softly, lill-lall-lo, love;
'Tis high time, nnd wild thyme,
And no time. no. love.
Walter do la Mare, in the Anglo-Frcncll
Itnviow. St
Price regulation is probably as hard t j
uehieve as tongua regulation ; and local econ
omists realize the lingual difficulties.
If Lodge and Hitchcock could but de-j
velop amnesia In so far as politics is con-
cemed-it might help some.
What Do You Know?
QUIZ
1 XVt, ...no rAini
'J. How many Presidents of tho OnlW
States were elected by the IIoujo o!
Representatives?
I!. When did Cicero live?
4. Of what stuto is Jefferson City til
capital? . 1
5. What was the first daily paptr
America? ., .
f! -Vninn nn Amprlonil treaty of PC8CC WDlCn
was bigned before tho final battle i
fought,
7. What is n baobab?
S. What is the meaning of tho word Htl
!). What is "L. S. Deism"? . ...
10
What animals belong to the pnou"
family?
A ...,. .... n VtPrl3V'S QUIZ
nl4VVGI D W .... - til
1 i i,,..i, rMniiiitifra is surceoa ceneral'1 1
tho United Slates. . .
II. A recusant is n person refuting- suM"' ;
t i ...,H.-Ur. r rrimriliance .
piwu IU LllllllU(l,r " .-.
regulations. ' :
is. vv li mm i'lit. i.nri ui v.... - ,.
called "The Great Commoner. "J
name wns also applied t W. L. GW'l
stoiiQ-and to Henry Clay. . 'j
4. Twentv-iiino slates li
...stiffrage nmen.imenr. j
r, "Flout -'em ami scout n. -r -. p
cm nud flout 'cm; thought n "
is from Shakespeare's comedy, ,
Tempest." , u
li. Wlicn Aiiurew .iiicuBim ""',- ij.i
Wuihuw in 1707 the boanaatf J.
between North und South Carou
,.. nnt fiillvilotermined. Invfsu
tion and subsequent demarcation v
frontiers established tho fact that
..!..-,. Ti-ocMnnf wfifi boru ii- . . I
Carolina, but throughout Ids '''fl
insisted that, be was a .South CW.
"""V'. , f.ofthelb'"
. luerm is opuiu; mu -""""
lucriiH, or i.uro. MrJi
8. Tho French Marshal Clnr0,,,",; i
- mentiug on the churgo of tnc hh
Krigudo at Kulaclava in no -"-y
1V'- .lanlnriwl "It'S nulKUU-l"V
I, It, n" -w - -
it not war."
0, The W)?a Chart wn; srnw w
(L (fttiW n?H iUtwot Afr H
O prW ul fcoiiuiwpiein "-r