"iBPSlf i" v-x ?Ph T ". X tM H I J ltf'13.. r i, s" Itf"" f, IT' m 1.1 V " .,,. . IS; 1$ 1? ft 10' nm5 public -ffieuger UDLIC LEDGER' COMPANY CYRUS M. K. CURTIS. ParMDCST m ii. mammon, vice rrrsiaonts Jonn .". rrnary ani Treasurer: rniun K uonin. Williams, John J Spunon, Directors. EDITORIAL BOARD: Cvacs It. K. Cessna. Chairman 9AffD Kn sjm.nr .Editor 3TE C MARTIN. ...Oenernl Dullness Manager . HBw.r - FSHK &&- I V MKkl1aHft ftrtll.r nl T...... ... T prnvri tli.tt.lt.,. .tfiL, Jnupendvnc Sauarc, Philadelphia. ' 5ffcp.tNTio City l'rest-Unlon BulMlne )imr York 200 Metropolitan Tower toir. 701 Ford Bulldine boms. .inns Fiillfrton Hulldlns ,..1302 Tribune Building iMMSO. , '. NEWS BUREAUS: .VwAIrtltjanTnv Tli'mr.lt. MV,"irw' 'VonKniiHmiT. v N. H. Cor. Pennsylvania. Ae. nnd 14th St, Thn .SlMl nulhltns London lluUEtu London Timed - sunscRirTioN terms The Evkni mi 1'i'iu.ic LntKiFR Is sirvnl to sub rtbera In Phllddalnhta and eurroundlnff towns vol ths rate of twelve 112) cents psr vvecu. pay.ioie to tha carrier. .,.,.., . ,,f.By mall to points nuts'.io of Philadelphia. In Uie United States. Canada, or United Ptatts pos f.li'iir, postage free, fifty 501 cents lvr month. 81 (?) dollars pjr year, payable In advance. ' To all foreign countries one (Jl) dollar per , KoTicu Subscribers wlihlnn address chanscd plust jrlve old as well as row address. i Bt.LL. 3003 WALMJT KE7ST0NE, MAIN 3000 I: f tyJHdrit all communications to Vvcnlng TupHo lii J.edocr Intlcpcndcnco Square. Philadelphia. Member of the Associated Press Tim ASSOCIATED V1W88 h cxclu- Ifiivcly entitled to the me for republication ot.au neics atspatencs crcauca to n r nut 'btftcnci.se credited In this paper, and also ,1fte local news publMicd thocln All rluhts of republication of special dls "patches herein arc also reserved. 1 rhIUdtlphla. Frld.y. J.mnrv 9, 1920 WILSON OR BRYAN? I'.-15 HlHE President has put himself in the dr class of bitter-enders along with t Borah, Reed, Johnson and the others. A3 between the President and Mr. Bryan, the common scn&c of the country Will be with Mr. Bryan. The President's plan for dealing with the treaty involves fourteen months of delay, and it would not work even then, qs, Mr. Bryan points out, unless it re sulted in the election of an undoubted twoE-thirds of the Senate committed to it. The country desires the treaty ratified at the earliest possible date. If com promise is necessary it wishes com promise Tho one thing to which it ob jects is further delay. Action has been delayed too long already. Agreement on reservations or interpretations is possible if the Senate really desires to make peace. The other nations will accept any rea sonable reservations which we may make, for they arc more anxious for a complete settlement of the terms of peace than we are. If Mr. Wilson persists in his obstinate objection to a compromise he will lay - himself open to the charge of accepting as his own the intellectual processes of the donkey, and r new significance will attach to that symbol of the Democratic party. B DrtD-r Turimc Kir 1 nMr.cn run 1 run 1 1 ntiic nu Lunutn uull rpHE report of the greatest year in the -- port of Philadelphia and the installa tion of Mr. Moore as Mavor cheerfully coincide. Port progress that venerable tfieme has been all too depressing while trade languished in a way wholly disDro p'ortionatc to our commercial possibil ities. T. ; .. .1.. ... :' :u i. r..n.... f'vl 't m uicvvuiiiui iuu k; ik iun;k'i triL'urBing development while conditions are C -r ,;. , :.,.. .. .... .!,....... unupuieu. uniy a xew viiuuihiasis can survive the ordeal. It is stimulating to reflect that Mr. Moore never lost hope and there is an additional tonic in the fact that he and other Philadelphians with similar ideals are now handling a live subject when they consider the port of Philadelphia. With the present ani mation as a bajis, the whole cause can be much more convincingly expounded. The gain of more than 506,000,000 in the volume of foreign business transacted in our port during eleven months of 1919 isf extraordinary. Never before has our harbor been so busy, and this despite the fact that tiade with Ger many, formerly a good customer, was virtually nonexistent. One must be an irretrievable stand-patter not to be 'aroused by such progress. r ALAS! AND ALACK-A-DAY! rpHOSE optimistic and credulous pcr-- sons who were anticipating a reduc tion in the pi ice of meat as a result of Attorney General Palmer's hucccss in persuading the packers to confine their activities to packing have been ignomin iously deserted by the man in whom they were trustjijg Mr. Palmer'has told a Senate commit tee, that he does not expect the disso lution of the packers' trust to hac any effect on prices. The reduction, if it comes, must come about, says lie. through competition and the operation of the law of supply and demand. This is what hard-headed men had 'uspected all along and they were await ing with considerable curiosity the time qftien the truth would dawn upon the chief law officer of the government, br when he would think it advisable to ad ?nit tho truth. The admission has come sooner than was expected. But alas! and alack-a-day! It looks as if it had made Stroudsburg's most distinguished citizen ineligible for the presidency if he thought of running solely on the strength of his ability to reduce the high cost of living by governmental processes. DEMOCRACY'S 'FARTHEST WEST' THE choice of San Francisco as the Jocale of the next Democratic national convention is a novelty in politics. The decision also suggests a liely sense of favors received and perhaps an anticina- torjf relish for those favors for which Hei ' wiiisuu lunging. .Csjifornia alone did not elect Mr. Wil SfrsTin 1916, but the belated and dramatic I Wval of returns from that utate created impression that it was a prime in- nent ot victory. Those thirteen Oral-votes have since loomed allur- rlv larpn in thr ronnsnls nf lmtli lm L MirUes. Ii fie M to the future, it is not easy to con- VyJ Hoover. The alleged sentiment on be '.' 'if liIr" of this admirablo nublin servnnf. sir 3 y .... . r . T V. Kiiuaie may do apocrypnai. wore hls political complexion is at pres- l-i!efincd, He is said to have voted .wico in his life and on both ocea- iVthe Republican ticket. On tho umnu, lit! uigca inu eieciiuu ui n tiq Congress in 1918 and ho has "tmomousiy vrnh tu wiison i. . io ueepcfi mm : CaUfornian h$ WX bated. Ho did, however, marry and re ceive his college education in the Golden State. But whether the association of Hoover and California has tiny thing to do with tho selection or' not, the choice plays hob with precedent. It marks tho "fur thest west" of Democratic conventions and the first time that San Francisco has been selected as the scene for presiden tial nomination honors by either party. Tho last western innovation by tho Democrats remains a dismal portent. Bryan was named in Denver in 1908 as tho opponent of William 11. Taft, who entered tho White House in the spring of the following year. WHAT IS THE CONSTITUTION AMONG GREEN POLITICIANS? A Halt Is Being Called at Last on Those Who, Clumsily Trying to Serve Lib erty, Would Destroy It OAN1TT is beginning to dawn again in a good many minds that have been darkened by panic since some ono dis covered a few fleas on the feathers of an unconcerned and perfectly tranquil eagle and shouted for wrecking crews, machine guns and tho fire department. The Sherman sedition bill, an out rageous and un-American document, has been having hard sledding in Congress. Nobody would accuse Senator Lodge of sympathy with the doctrinaires of radi calism who presumably are the objects of attack in this instance. Yet it is Mr. Lodge who has most sharply and intelli gently 'criticized an instrument of me d'cvulism actually devised to give Post mi'ster General Burleson a right to decide what Americans may and muj not read in their books and newspapers and power to ruin any publisher who doesn't agree with him in matters of politics. The Bar Association of New York has appealed to the American people to guard the fundamentals of constitutional lib erty against onslaughts that have become an everyday matter with ignorant poli ticians in office who happen to have per verted notions of public service. Gov ernor Coolidge, of Massachusetts, has been speaking in a similar spirit. There is a definitely perceptible tide of senti ment turning against the men every wheic who, in aberrations reminiscent of the days of the witchbumers, have been openly denying the common right of free speech, free piess and free assemblage guaranteed to all Americans under the constitution. Mr. Burleson said with a proud gesttuo the other day that he had sole right to decide what may and may not go through the mail.;. He spoke truth. There can be no appeal from the ultimatums of this akhoond of the postal system. A little while ago he might have made his boast in all safety. But on this oc casion tho one American newspaper that has supported the administration and all its works through thick and thin rose and pelted the surly egotist with every brick in its vocabulary. That was a hopeful sign. So is the plight of Attorney General Palmer hope ful. Mr. Palmer raked the country and, in a population which the census officials say is moie than 110,000 000, he found about liftv persons who might be called actually dangerous. Then the attorney general went wailing to Washington for new legislation for harsher legislation than any he had previously been able to conceive to protect thp country! In the name of Americanism Mr. Pal mer would destroy the principles of gov ernment that actualfv hae made the nation what it is. He was received coolly by a Congiess which a ytar ago probably would have shared his panic. All that is needed to make Mr. Burle son tho one hue autocrat in the world is an act of Congress to provide him with a crown and a scepter and a flock of executioners. The postmaster general already has power which makes him a permanent censor of American opinion. He does not even have to explain his desiies and decisions. Yet he is not satisfied. With a word, under the terms of the new sedition bill, he could ruin tho publisher or any editor whose opin ions he considered dangerous or even of fonshe. Mr. Borah and Mr. Lodge and others in the Senate have opposed the bill. They have demanded a change in the mail dic tatorship which will give to every ac cused editor and publisher at least tho right to a hearing a right which Mr., Burleson does not wish to grant and which he has never granted. Needed reforms in the administration of the postal system may thus come from the effort to -strengthen tho tyr anny of the Burleson rule. In a general way, however, rational objection need not be directed exclusively at the newest of hysterical sedition bills, or at Mr. Palmer or any of the others who have flouted ancient rules made for' reason and justice and the permanency of our government. It will bo directed at the big and little officials everywhere who, because they seem ignorant of American purposes and American his tory, have seen fit to disregard laws and principles that have guided this nation in emergencies more serious than any thing we have known in recent years. Tho institutions of government in the United States are not menaced. Thev cannot be seriously menaced. If there is any danger to America it must come from the men in authority who do not themselves know the meaning of Ameri canism. Unless Washington and Jefferson and all tho patriots of their day were less wise and less devoted than Mr. Burleson nnd Mr. Palmer, a free press and free speech are indispensable safeguards of liberty and a better and surer protection- to free government than armies or navies. Upon that assumption the whole sys tem of our government rests. Because of this privilege America has grown strong and because of it tho faith of Americans in themselves and in their system of government is immeasurable and always will bo unshakable. Yet at HarriBburg and at Washington there have been efforts to put a gag' upon men apd upon newspaper. Legislators and officials have lost their mental equilib- lium in the tiniest of JnteJleeluaJ squalls. ,Ue fnith ithf theECnOtoV What .- J& EVENING PUBLIC EDGER has happened to their sense of propor tion? Whnt alls the people who suppose that you can train the United States to an intellectual gooscstcp? If Mr. Palmer has reason to believe that dangerous aliens aro still at large in this country why cannot he call the police and make his raids and arrange for his deportations in accordance with accepted processes of courts without cry ing out for the establishment in America of repressive laws modeled' after those that disgraced Russia? Is it necessary, in order to deal with a handful of un washed idiots, toundermino the princi ples of government that all human ex perience has shown to be the safest, the surest nnd the most indispensable? Must we, to deal1 with a minor nuisance, give the country over to tho rule of bureaucrats and prepare to bo n servile nation instead of a free one? The Bar Association of New York may have been thinking of Mr. Palmer or Mr. Burleson or both. In its report It says: "Through the veil of terror or appre hension or unpopularity ue should still be able to defend the principles of con stitutional liberty. Never more than at present have we needed leadership which will not suffer thaw principles to be impaired. THE EVER-SPECIFIC HOOVER HERBERT HOOVER'S formal state ment on economic affairs in Europe is not merely a warning against propa ganda. It is an object lesson in the rare art of marshaliiig facts. This is an age of generalizations, most of them hastily formed. Prejudice is sweepingly expressed. Authoritative analysis is often in abeyance. While the war lasted the need for careful differ entiations was less pressing than it is now. The objective defeat of Germany was perfectly plain. Mr. Wilson's fit ness for handling tho clear fundamentals of the supreme crisis was marked. The idealism of the President, which is some what impatient of details, served a noble purpose. But it is not so much the philosopher as the informed expert which reconstruc tion problems demand. It is insufficient to cry "Europe is starving!" or "Europe is' recovering'!" That sort of talk is as futile as political platform bromides. Mr. Hoover never indulges in it. In his ad mirable statement suggesting what he regards as the mos.t advisable financial course for this country to pursue with regard to Europe, he gives facts, names, figures. The plight of Austria is made very real and contiasted with the excellent food conditions in Bulgaria, Serbia, Rumania, South Russia and part of Turkey. It is significantly pointed out that the eco nomic strain in Italy would be lessened were her army and navy demobilized and that "no one is threatening her with war." The affluence of those nations which were neutrals is also pertinently empha sized. The whole announcement bears the convincing stamp of truth and in its unmistakable sincerity and lack of heated partiality is intensely typical of all the public utterances of Mr. Hoover since he became a world figuie. It is men of his stripe who must lend today, unless the mammoth reconstruction job is to be bungled. In this connection it is reassuring to note that, an encouraging start has been made. The present problem of our gov ernment is reduced, declares Mr. Hoover, "to helping out the bread supply of less than .") per cent, of the population of Europe. This is only an echo of the job which our government 1 ad to undertake in the year ended August first last." If Mr. Hoover will permit the generali zation, it seems safe to say that the men ace of a large-scale famine has at last been lifted from Europe. The new situ ation calls for new measures, but not of the sort born of illusory fright. Jess Willard recently lmil to face a fliarsc of lirofitcerinK. Itwusnl egod he chargpil .f.'S.fiO The A anil the Kins n cord for wootl. while the Topeka fair-price committee thoURht ?t was enousli. He was exonerated when it was found that the com mittee hail erred. Willard would have had 116 such trial it he had been able to Keep in the fighting game. Instead ot getting .frt.50 n cord his price would Uac been in the neighborhood of 510,000 a punch. Women from fourteen I'coplc of mid-western states No Importance have let the Repub lican national commit tee know that wlmt they want is direct citizenship: they want uu abrogation of the laws which make a woman follow the Hag of the man she marries. This is a kind of direct action that even ron&ervntitc men may applaud. But . Thus day by day do husbands grow less and less important. A Chestnut Hill man Hero and Martr has been fined $7.fi0 with the alternative of fhe dajs in jail because when n car wns about to pass without letting him get aboard he pulled the trolley pole off. This was very, very wicked of him. But if every man who has been tempted to do the same thing were to duff up a cent thcre'd be no trouble about paying his fine. There nrc sceral Careless Hergdoll claimants for the credit ot capturing licrgdoll. ISergdoll, therefore, has much to answer for. It he had acted according to the precedents he himself &et there would have been no controversy, The theory of the po- The Anchor's Htic.nl canvass id that Weighed there shall bo wind enough to belly tho sails. There it usually wind cuougli. But there isn't always a worth -while cargo in tlic hold. ' v Ot course, it would bo Sweetness Unrefined rank heresy to suggest that some of the Cu bnn sugar just arrived in port bhould bo sold unrefined at something less than tho eighteen cents a pound, Mr. McCarthy thinks, will be the rctuil price. But why not bo heretical oncn iu a while? It is inevitable, that Get the Hook! the census man busily engaged in couutlug noses should occasionally get a snub. What commends Hoover to the thought ful niiud is his ability to puncture the babble of generalities with the pin .of fact. 'The flow of soul il the limlimn TIav- 1 dinner- d r Wt & t ij 71 1" tfT-'- ..."SKI w. ar!",j""' PHILADELPHIA, FRIDAY, JANUARY 9, PENNYPACKER TUMBLED Faulty Fence Causes Estrangement With Secretary of Agriculture. Railroad Pass System a , Vicious One GEOKG1S NOX McCAIN FOU a brief period iu Ihc.lalter part of the administration of Governor Samuel W. Pennypacker there were strained relations between him and his secretary of agricul ture, the late Norman Bruce Crltchficld. . It was not an estrangement in the sense of personal antagonism. It was just a short period of pique on the part of the Governor toward his secretary of agriculture over something for whiffh the latter was in no wise responsible. Governor l'eunypaekcr, like the secretary of agriculture, was a farmer. Up at Penny lyncher's Mills for jears the Governor raised crops as fine as rould be found iu the valley. And the farm was well kept up; is so to this day. Secretary Critchficld's farm was located out in Somerset county near Jcnucr's Cross Roads. By reason of his Harrisburg duties he for j ears had been compelled to turn the farm over to hired hands. Not being able, to supervise it personally it was not us well maintained us if the secretary had been on the ground himself. On one occasion Governor l'eunypaekcr, with some members of his cabinet, including Critchlield, visited Somerset. The secretary invited the party to .Tenner's Cross Roads. It is possible that the Governor expected to find the model farm of the commonwealth. In this he was mistaken. In roaming over the Critchlield domain it became necessary to climb a fence. In doing so it pnucl of the fence went down with n crash, carrying the chief executive of the commonwealth with it iu its picturesque min, Gowrnur I'cuiijpaiker was more hurt in br-. dignity tliiin lie was physically. He limped around a day or so, mad as a hornet all Uie time. He couldn't reconcile the idea of poor fences ou the farm of his secretary of agri culture, even if he hadn't been in personal charge of it for years. It was a month or so before the entente cordiale was restored between the dis" tinguished gentlemen. THE abolition of the free-pass system on the railroads of Pennsylvania ended the most outrageously tiuhitcd privilege ccr granted to public officials. Hundreds of thousands of dollars in rail road fares were thus thrown to the wiuds every jeur. The Pennsjhnnia Itailionil exercised good judgment in distributing these favors where they would be the most effective. The Read ing was the great offender. When the late Charles r Kindred was iu charge of pub licity and politics for the Reading in Phila delphia and Harrisburg, it fairly snowed passes. 1 recall one man, who had a "drag" with the Rcadiug and wiio traded passes to his butcher for sirloin steaks. Senator William H. ("Bull") Andrews ran several ot Quay's campaigns on Rending passes. He handed t hem out right and left. His desk in the Senate was n railroad ticket office. Xubod; who could deliver two votes and was known to be all right but could get transportation. Vet "Bill" was tricky. One of his dodges was to issue passes to points not on the Reading lines. The uuluek.v holder, of course, had to pay his fare. This was only practiced on those Andrews disliked or didn't care for particularly. Under some peculiar arrangement Andrews supplied men out the state who controlled counties, or ecu small towns, with coupon tickets for trips to distant cities, I once heard a conductor say on a trip from Harrisburg to Philadelphia that out of approximately sixty passengers in a coach he had taken up but two tickets. All the other transportation was passes. TT WAS no unusual thing, indeed it became - a common practice, for members of the House to loan their annual railroad passes to friends. All sorts of schemes were re sorted to to beat the railroads and secure free transportation. George Cooper, chief page of the-House, once told me of u clever scheme tiiat was worked by a member of the House to get a friend from Harrisburg to Philadelphia. During the legislative sessions twenty odd j cars ago owners of annual passes simply pulled out the cardboard, flashed it before the conductor, who issued a hut check and passed on. In later jears the number ou every pass was taken b.v the conductor. The legislator in question, with his friend, boarded the train and entered the smoking car. He stationed his friend .ncur the rear door while he took a seat uear the forward end where the conductor entered. As soon as the conductor had passed the owner of the annual rose from his scat, walked to the rear of the car, apparently to get a drink of water, and b.v quick move ment slipped the pass into the hand of his waiting friend. The latter immediately turned, us though looking out of the car door, and thniFt it into his, inside breast pocket. When the conductor i cached (lie friend there was a great show of hunting for tho pass which he ultimately found, flashed it on the conductor, got his hat check aud was bate. A MAN with possiblj the widest acquaint ance of any individual in the state was appointed this week as iuspectdr of claims by City Solicitor Snijth. He is Captnin Prank B. IMwards, former Delaware river captain, manager of the Trenton boat line, former member of the Legislature aud ex -state oil inspector for Philadelphia. Captain Edwards has covered the state completely twenty times iu politi cal work. One of the stories (old nbout him is that when he was .oil inspector for Philadelphia he had considerable trouble with the Stand ard Oil Co. in compelling its observance of the law; a peculiarity of the Standard, I understand, in the old days. Meeting one of the local officials of the company whom he knew very well, the latter said to the inspector: "See here, Bdwards, do you know that you cost us over $j0,0()0 the last year." "Oh, no! I didn't cost you anything," was the reply. "I just kept you in the straight and narrow path." CONGRESSMAN Henry W. Watson, of tho Eighth congressional district, com prising Bucks and Montgomery counties, may be the heir iu Congress to (he mantle of .T, Hampton Moore us champion of Penn sylvania's interests iu inland waterways. The western part of the state is greatly interested in nil waterways projects, because it means for them the ultimate completion ot a Lake Eric to the Ohio river barge canal. Congressman Watsou, part of whoso dis trict lies along the Deluware, has just been commended in the official Chamber of Com merce Bulletin of Pittsburgh for his ac tivity in favor of theso great public im provements. Mayor Moore's influence all along the At lantic seaboard as president of the Atlantic Deeper Waterways Association has been greatly enhanced by his election as Mayor qf PhllaUelphUu ;n .Mrr Bryan is again understudying Mr, WIM- it, J t THIS CARTOON ISN'T ''vV-r.v'1 .. nmai,xff:a3wviriv-Ti ww -Mag:ntrtyicf!i mraaraciij jkbwtjm t . m ' - vi"-p j .-j'it.. THE CHAFFING DISH The Song of the Knitter (After Tennyson) T COME from haunts of book and pen, -- I shirk a busiuess letter; I strive for heights bejoud my ken, And start to knit a sweater. i I cast, I count, T slip, 1 stall, AVith thirty halts and hitches. And now and then I drop my ball, Aud here aud there some stitches. And here and there my work 1 take, 'lo speed it us I travel, And niuuy a murmured count i make Aud many a ridge I ravel. With many a purl my hanks I fret, I loiter rouud a blunder, Aud here my rows are tightly set, Aud there they javvu asunder; And on again, erratic, slow, 1 plod with stern endeavor, l'o r fads may come aud fads maj go, I5ut I knit ou forever, COKINNI" ROCKWELL SWAIN. "Yes," said one of two well-dressed ladies who hud just entered the spirit realm, "this is undoubtedly hell, because the subway slot machines have no little mirrors." It is foll.v to saj that a man ma.v not save time by running across tl e street in front of motortrucks. le often gets to the hospital five seconds earlier. One of these dajs we are goiug to handsel humanity with a valuable volume entitled "1001 Wa.vs of Muking Life More Prac tical." We shall include a paragraph sug gesting that all luueh counter, lie cither (1) equipped with u rack to hold books aud parcels, or (1.') that the fwotrail be raised so that one's knee joints will form n right angle ns oue sits itlng. Nothing, we contend, does so lower our morale as to have lo sit w'ith our knees hoisted into the air so as to prevcut the books and papers we carry from sliding off. Sonnet to a Soiled Glove DEAR little glove, so lonely, jet so blessed That oft her hand has lent to )ou its form And made you, like itself, alluring, warm, Articulate! I hold ou safely pressed Close to my henrt, the while I lung, 'tis true, To crush as williug captives to my lips, For just a moment's breath, the fingertips Which erstwhile gave their rosy l.fc to jou. 0"' PRECIOUS glove, so shapeless, now confess Did jou, like Raleigh, with a fate ill starred, Refuse to see her dear hand's beauty marred While you retained jour virgin spotlessncss? "Hc OW did I get this wny'.' Why, lands above ! 'Tvvas rubbing up against your own soiled glove!" LARK MERILL. A Challenge to Our Fair Ones Ou the nicely monogrammed notepaper of the Engineers' Club comes the following stern manifesto: The Ladles' Auxiliary of tho ChaMhie Dteli are a'dvlsed to read William McKce's "On a Balcony" In this month's Atlantic, and ponder. Ladles It Is tho handvvrltlns on tho wall. With the uomlns of suffrage and the new order, tho old order passeth. No longer will tho best bellem extol you In tho guise of tho Belf-sacrrflclng heroine Risking all for her "over. Instoudk a vVonian's lovo Is shown hi Its real garb un reasoning relllshness. Mac, you bravo old cjnlc, I doff my lid to you. Socrates, tho ladles won't stand for this. They will probably strike for McFce'a re moval from tho blsh. Vive la guerro. LIEUT. Wo. have no desire to tnrt a sex war Ju me xyu.MDi wo win jimi poiui, o inat tlip now nMf(ered Lieu, sprang boA U this 1920 OUT OF DATE; ASK ANY OF THE STORES! ffiWrHHwT"' iBBrMirrm IK V I Jr caldron some weeks ago with a poem ex plaining that his bosom was simultaneously tenanted by two ladies, Ann and Rita. He seemed to be in some distress ns to which one to annex. Tt looks to us very sadly us though he had crashed with both. Wc hope his heart h uot of the nourcfillnblc kind. Congratulations How happy, how happy, how happy am I I've eaten an cau -de-vivacious mince pie! JL V. N. S. Desk Mottoes A t'cralan carpet or pleco of Sheraton makes it distinguished end and bears Itself with dignity to the last aa aristocrats he fore the guillotine. But a. Brussels, or bit of mld-VIctorlan, will bo found lo grovel, show Us unlovely wounds and scream for Pity. I'DKN PHILLPOTTS. Speaking of L'den Phillpolts, iu his de lightful little hook, "A Shadow Passes," he remarks: "What is the word Wi write most often iu our cheque-books? 'Self.' " That is unfortunately true, jet "Self" is rarely tho ultimate destiuntiou of the amounts so stubbed. The Barbary Corsetieres Canfiehl has been rending tho lmt, aud was ignited with u luminous idea when that lusty department recently defined a corsair as a Barbary privateer. He hastens to tell us that the modern equivalent is a corsetiere. Social Chat The 7 a. in. train for New York left Broad street at 7 a. in. rceentlj'. K. Nelson Hdwards, the contemplative ar chitect, when dipt b.v us In tho smoking car of thn Paoll I,oca, admitted that ho Is build Ijig himself a house. AVo brooded over this after leaving him, and thought morosely that we have nover heard of a colyuuilat building :i house, or having one built for that matter. Aithur Henry, thn silver-tongued south erner, who arrived from Nashville bringing us a volume of the poems of tho Sweet Singer of Michigan, says ho milfercd many out rages in tho army, but tiio barber on Walnut street who anointed him with a syrup of cinnamon and lemon verbena humiliated him more than any other man still living. Human beings, members of tho well-known public, liave learned that tho side-door trolleys aro extremely useful during the homewaid rush hour. When tho doors are opened It l extremely amusing to lead a little) foray ot boarders. Sometimes, by dili gent and active work, a dozen excited ladlea climbing on may prevent one corpulent and only moderately aggressive person from getting out until several blocks beyond his destination. To a Love Letter About to Be Posted TTEAVKN give jou wings of gold, "- Precious little letter Guard well all the love you hold, I will be your debtor. Angels guidiug from above, Hasten, stopping never, Till youome to her I love, Then nbido forever, Look into her lustrous eyes, When her bunds unfold you, If in them tho love-light lies, Tell her what I told jou. Say that I am very sad, Feeling very lonely; That she'd make mu very glad If she'd only, only Give mo just u little bit v Of her love, and never Would I fail to cherish it Kver nnd forever: Absence makes me far more lluo Than the skies above her, So, dear note, I'm sending jou ' To tell her that I love her. HAROLD WII5.QAND. The fyke about parlor, bedroom and bath qlghcr;t seems to us a mlsflrii becauw tueylot't use'jtti? w 'HOQrB8.' FEVER WIST roses dripping on the r..in-drcuchcd grass ; Cold mists that cling to mountain-tops, anil pass, Folding deep, valleys in a pall of smoke; Green running waters that from Ice -parks broke. And leagues of crunching snow; a white frost fain To plan mosaic for tire window paue; Cool marble floors where burning feet miglit pace ; Dawn dews in violets pressed against the face: Round weedy pools where kissing willows fall Mockeries of fever, born in hospital' M. Forrest, iu the Sjduey Bulletin. The New Xork Assembly hns ousted live Sociulist members and the New TVork city Board of Aldermen is contemplating simi lar action. This seems to be a very good way to invite revolution. AVith rabies prevalent iu the city no reasonable owner of a dog will object to quuiantine of the animals. Bryan has been accused of many things, hut nobody has ever alleged that he is suf fering from au impediment iu his speech. Uergdoll will now have u chaure lo get n little rest after all the excitement he has had. "Judge Jimmy" Briggs sailed into port at lust with flag flying aud a cargo of good deeds. What Do You Know? QUIZ 1. Who is the director general of railroads in the United States? 2. What is gamboge and how does it jet its name? 3. What is tho title of the ruler of Afghan istan? 4. When did the IIolyRoman Empire end? 5. What is the capital of South Dakota? 0, How long after the adoption of the con stitution was tho first amendment pussed? 7. Who was the father of Queen Victoria? S. When was tho great Reform Bill passed in England? 0. Who wrote "It's Never Too Late 10 Mend"? 10. How ninny candidates run against Liu' coin for the presidency? Answers to Yesterday's Quiz 1. Thomas Jefferson was called the Sage of Monticello after his estate near Char lottesville, Vn. 2. Twenty-four states have ratified the woman suffrage amendment. 3. Sir George Paish is an eminent British economist now on a financial mission to this country. 4. Iquique, the namo of the great iiitrah port of Chile, should be pronounced as though it were spelled "Ee-kce-kaJ with the accent on the second syllable. 5. The first Battle of the Marne was fought September 5-10, 1011. 0. The River Marne empties into the Seine at Cbarcnton, a suburb of Paris. Vrencli 7. Jacques Francois Ilalcvy was a musical composer, especially tcdlM dates aro 1700-1802. 8. Feng-Kuo-chong, who recently died W I'emn, became prcsiueui ui iv . new republic after the resignation w fiv..t,. i,..,, tto held ofbee uni". .l- .i.uau-iuuf,, -.. September, 1018. 0, Tnouverage duration of huma,a Hie ii 1 Js i J- On - -fllQl't, i ! .V '' - " 1-8 1' I1.HW M l-li7s.-"r ' "' L .,:. . . '.. .AJ,l l AjzXr.v.&. re i -s-jef.: IB --- - , 'i - ' ' riiMi
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers