M ! 10 "K w '"' "Mvi EV&NIftU PUBLIC IJSDGEB-PHtLELPfllA', FRIDAY, DECEMBER 1 12, 1919 "J' o II .' "'fC fcuenma $ubltc Hcbgcr PUnLIC LEDGER COMPANY -... .rrPa . k. cutvns. rumtTM , ChrlM H. I.utlntin, Vlc rreilflcnti Jnhi' 0. Martin. peert tary and Trcmurcri Philip 8. Colllnt. Jiinn B, William, John J Sr"reon, Dlrectar. editorial noxnD! ruti If. K. Ctnilt, Chairman KAVJD K. P.IlLl",r IMHor JOHN C. MARTIN1. . . .General Buajneia Mtnare r rubllehetl dallv t renno t.CTorii, llulMJnr. Atu.vtio Our. . . ina-ronatnco nquara, I'nwaiwpnw . . .Prefj-Uslou nulMIni , 200 Mitrcpollttn 'fowir 701 l'erd nuiMlmr 1W PillTtm Oi'l'dltlK St, l.ntls. Cniciao. . , .1BQ2 Triwnt uuuainit MtWS BUREAUS' witltlMiTriN BlIlSlV. N. r. Cor. Pnnvlvonla Ave r.d APt it. Nrw tokk nvrut rii au niiiii.ir London ni'crir. . .Lomton Tim's RUBSCr.lPTlON TERMS Thi EinM-o I'ru.tc 1, roots n re! to 'Jl -r)br In rhl!ndlphl end eiirrounaini tuwns t thn rt cf twelve nsl cents pr week. th-ji.i to the c&rrlrr. By mall in point out! ! ' riillt.llht l'i (tie Vnlted Stntt.i. Canails. or United fltstM to Nf.lr"s. roMK0 fre. utr tne rrt pt month Six ((l dn'lr re" v'"-. pabl In artvfnr. To stl forelcn countries on Mil dellav per month NoTtri -Subicrlbers wl.lilnr t)des chanted must tisti od as u-ei t w addrej". nELL. JOCO VM.MT KrVSTONH. MAIN SOI1" IT AdJrrsr alt rfiiimiliifrnfi'oin to JCmiiuii Publlo l.c.cr. h.cciiniat,,: giiiioi-. I'hV.ed! pi.o. Member of (he Associated Pr run Assocnrtn) rvcs$ is e.rc- lic.' entitled lo llir un' for irpnb'leaKon Pt nil tinrv dispatches: rrrdltrd In it r,r not otherwise rrrdlttd tr this paper, and also the Inral wirs published thevl i. All rlQlils ni fjflHblicat'on of special tilt patches hrrc'.n ore also reicrrrO. rhitailtlptiiit. 1 rids-. Urrtinhrr I.', fl" FERRIES FOR SALE nHKRK is nothing cheap nbout A. .1. County, the efficient vice prcs'diiit of the Delaware river feiry coinpantes. Hs suggestion that the states of New Jersey and Pennsylvania purchase ths cxistinz ferry systems and give free ifdes to nil comers lies a dazzling candor thai should compel solemn admiration rather than mirth or rage in the multitude. Heie. indeed, is a v:sion of Utopiti. For years innuineiabla the Delaware ferries have been returning dividends at goodly rates. Every day will not be like Christmas on tlie boats when the Delaware bridge is finally built. If it is ever possible to travel from this city to Camden and beyond in trolleys or comfortable electric tra:ns, only lho.?e who cultivate antiquar'an interest" will be caught on the feriyboats. The directors of the ferry corporations always have been good business men. They arc good businecs men still. Theii sudden revelation of collective idealism is pretty good proof that a bridge will be up before many years. What would Senator Kdgn say to Mr. County? Mr. Edge has just expressed a violent loathing of governmental partic ipation in fields commonly dedicated to private entei prise. Of course, the two states will not buj the ferries. If they did they would have to buy all oun old clothes, our old hats and whatever cU-e we have outlived or forever be open to charges of wild in consistency. AIR POLICE AND OTHERS TyrEMORIES of the war, its causes and ' its terrors may fade. Indeed, they 'are fading already. But about the men who did the skyfighting, the novel breed of warriors who went a-wmg, there will always be an air of wnndtiment. They ware the nearest to danger. They were incredible. And so when about JiOO fliers met yes terday with Commander Westervelt. of the naval nftcraft factory, and Colonel Robert Glendinnmg to organize them selves as air nolice for this city they threw out suggestions of a sort that ap peal powerfully to the imagination. Anything that will serve to keep Amer can fliers in trim ought to be encour aged at n time when Congiess is doing its best to Rtarve the military air service to death. About the immediate need for air po lice, there may li differences of opinion, especially in a time when thugs and yegg men and amateur bandits aie an in creasing multitude upon the ground. The existing police service needs something new and the organization of the airmen suggested what that something may be. It is gasoline and some fast automobiles. The mounted squad that does service fn the central sections of the city is too efficient and too picturesque ever to be displaced. But elsewhere in the city and especially in the regions now sparsely policed amateur bandits are depending more and more on automobiles. "i ou have to fight the devil with fire. Horse patrols in the outlying sections will have lo go. Half a dozen small and fast motorcars efficiently driven would give the police an even chanco with the thnn who continue to be a nuisance and a growing danger. WIPE OUT THE T. B. ARMY "VLD T. B. has an army bigger than anything the Huns ever musleied. an army more efficient and more ruth less, It is a horribly successful army; Its, tolls of lives wiped out are greater than any other army ever dreamed of. It knows no rule save to destroy. It spares neither women nor children; in deed, it kills them even more cheerfully than it kills men. This enemy is not at our doors ready to invade us. It is within the doors and th butchery is already under way. If It were a tetrorist army we should have first feared it and then annihilated it, and done both long ago. But it is a quiet army that creeps stealthily and kills from cover. It hides itsehf in the food we eat and the air we breathe and poisons everything within reach. To slay this maleficent army a benefi cent army han been organized, the army of the Red Cross Seals. The seals themselves are not really the soldiers of the army. They arc symbols; yet something more than symbols. Thoy are vicarious sacrifice?. Every time you lick one you kill a company of tuberculosis troops. And after they have been licked the seals become propagandists, members of the Intelligence Department, carry ing tnrough the mails the story of good work done, and fprever setting a good oxampto. Rack of the seals are the pennies that bought thrm, and these are the real sol- dir, the first-line soldiers who g& into the trenches. Thwe are the warriors fc-whaj linder tho direction of ahle gn- ' TltUt' f"" attacking the. jramjartsr-erf an intrenched enemy that Is forever send ing out its devilish cohorts and sneaking snipors to assassinate our loved ones; these are our champions who are attack ing the citadel of Ignorance Rnd sin and disease with wisdom and righteousness and clean and wholesome living. Put your pennies in the dmft and let them light! WAVERING ON THE LEAGUE FAVORS SOME OLD TRICKS Lloyd George and Clemenceau Are Said to Be Whispering Again and Dis credited Diplomacy Is Reviving While Pact It Held Up rPHE announcement that Georges Clem- I enceaii has hastened to London to talk over international affairs with David j Moyu ueorgo pi'ovoKcs a tnuuaer. b'ignor Scialoia. the new Italian for eign minister, has recently had a confi dential session with the British premier. Painful qualms pi ess upon consideration of that incident. In the correlation of these evcnU theie aie ingtedienls for a case of the horrors. Em ope is plotting once more! Profes sional diplomatists are peering through keyholes, confabbing in sinister ingle nooks, framing up now "jobs" of which humanity must pay the tragic cost! The Old World i old in sin. Why should America accompany it on the road to perdition? Why thouldn't we clear out '.' Wiiy shouldn't we proudly wrap our selves in Hie mantle (f soilusion, dis dain the loathsome foieg:i caldron, tL bubbling anew, and feel at once vir tuous and dounr'ght disgusted '.' The dissented ancient tates, the new upstart nations have betiayed us. Enough of them! Reasoning thus, theie can be no ques tion about the ceurse to pursue. The fog of idealism vises before the clear light of reality. Aloof we will of course prepare ourselves for our part. We shall have a navy second to none, an army trained to magnificence both of size and efficiency. Wc bball have tnxes. What of that? We have .wealth, and wealth, co-operating with brains and patriotism, is power. If Europe misbehaves and her misconduct affects us. our course is plain. Wc shall strike, strike hard. Americans have not shrunk from wars. Thy have spilled their blood with prodigality and, if neces sary, will do so again. Them is a thrill in the picture. There is one in every conception which minis ters to national vanity. Somewliete in such heated fancy theie is also a lie. In the pirsent instance the alleged neces sity tf rcDudiating Europe, and hence our share in the great war, is grounded in a falte premise. To suggest that the le-ersion of for eign statesmen to fell courses consti tutes an exoneration of our own course is to pile hypocrisy on egoism. The plain truth is that America pro posed a policy in restraint of armaments and war tendencies and then Wavered. Is it any wonder that our late allies are slipping back into discredited, ways or that directors of Rritish, French and Italian policy begin wh'spering and in dulging in the old dark hugger-mugger the minute, the United States peace dele gation quits Paris? Europe as a whole did not want the league of nations. Clemenceau, in clear cut, characteristic French style, made no secret of his attitude. He saw his na tion exalted once moie to a dominating role in continental Europe. He remem bered that the balance of power was probably not only an agency of peace for several decades, but that. if. one end of the seesaw was just a trifle overweighted national aggrandizement without strife was enticingly possible. Under this system Germany hail her way for a long and prosperous period. Britain was in a somewhat similar posi tion after the Congress of Vienna By s pooling oi interests and an adjudica tion of conflicting claims it was evident that, the victors in the war could control at leaot Europe, A.sin and Africa for some time. The British premier was less out spoken, but even his warmest aumiiers have not denied that he has a method of making a shifty program pay. Far-seeing men like Lord Robert Cecil and General Smuts had their own troubles at the peace table. Italy gave imperial istic, manifestations almost from the start. They have subsequently perilously multiplied. The one slogan upon which every European and Asiatic nation at the con feience could agree at the outset was the famous cry of Oliver Twist. Every country wanted more. Greece. Belgium. Portugal, Serbia, Rumania, Czccho-Slo-vakia. Poland, Japan ranked among the minor nationalities. They were, how ever, no lets vehement in their claims, usually advanced at the expense of some neighbor. There was nothing extraordi nary in all this. There was much that was intensely human. No soecial perspicacity was therefore required to see that the most memorable congress ever assembled was likelyj if uninformed by some hitherto untried standards of conduct, either to break up in chaos or to proceed upon the antique lines of selfishness and national vanity that make eventually for the shambles of the battlefield. Mr. Taft realized this. So did the President. Millions of Americans held similar views. In theory the idea was without novelty, just as Christianity is. But a league of peace, conducted on principles of decency and illuminating candor, had never been put into practice. Apart from party affiliations, Mr. Wilson wus undoubtedly the spokesman for ths vast majority of his countrymen when he went to .Paris determined to work for the creation of a compact which might minimize the chance of future wars. The American notion was that, as nothing could be worse than the old order, something different Tjas worth a trial. The power and wealth of the United States made this country, for the first time, a signal factor in world affairs. The European nations, flushed with victory, were not jireciaely In a mood to ponsidcr a code of restraint But they 1 .did.hwit,iua reasons; first, because without league guarantees promising the intent of fair ness in the disposition of knotty prob lems, it woutd have been impossible to draw many of the new boundary lines, and secondly, because America, although not without a struggle, was in a position to have her wishes respected. Accept ance of. the league was in many instances grudging, but it was given. And then the politicians of both parties at homo wont on their cynical spree. Un aware, or pretending to be unaware, that American sentiment was not expressed in these arglcs, the most influential of the victorious powers are enabled to dis (lain the spirit of their now obligations. If America, which espoused the league, is in doubt about it, why should it not be converted into an alliance in which every old line European diplomatist whose na tion is benefited can rejoice? Nobody knows what Lloyd George has lo say to Clemenceau or what (ho Brit ish prime minister may have said to the Italian legate, but it is at least conceiv able that they feel u slackening of re straint. . A conference on Turkey is soon to be held in London. The United States is officially to have no share in it. Will it be mindful of fundamental principles of justice or will it continue the policy of p-iieeling out slices of the Ottoman Empiie to the most powerful bidder a course thai has been the basis of so many European wars, not .excepting the late Armageddcn? Special clairvoyance Is unnecessary to forecast the outcome, un lets present conditions are changed. America can change them. It cannot do so merely by adopting a holier-llian-Ihuii attitude and exhibiting a Pecksnif fian loathing of "wicked" piime minis ters, alert to capitalize the national in terests. The league pact compel the publica tion of a'l treaties and the reconsidera tion of those which have become inap plicable or "might endanger the peace of the woild." It may fail, of course, just as have many ?': programs, But ii we desert the child of our own political biain we must all goosebtep. On that score theie can be no doubt. Europe will conspire and sow war germs. If we do not eventually fight the mon sters which will spring from them we shall have the choice of inactivity and sham virtuous horror. It is not an engaging prospect for a manly nation. THE COAL COMMISSION VJO EASY task awaits the commission - which the President will appoint to arrange for a permanent peace in the coal industry. H is impossible to con template this neuer plan without remem bering the dieary failure of Mr. Wil son's industrial commission and the drearier record of the international labor congress in attempts to grapple with the exact soil of issues that were funda mental in the soft coal strike. It is the informal nature of the arrangement that makes fixed agreements seem a bit im piobablK Properly the coal commission might have been called into session under authority of Congress with power to make its decisions official and enforceable within icasonable limits. The questions betw'een the soft coal men, the operators ahd fhe government are larger and far more complicated than those which con fionted the Roosevelt commission in the anthracite strike. They have a deeper and a different origin. More tact, more wisdom and a wider technical knowledge than were required of the Roosevelt com mission will be requited of those who try to eliminate the causes of the soft coal strike without doing damage to the legitimate rights of the operators. There is no certainty that one side or the other may not refuse to accept the verdicts of the new commission. In that case the country would be where it was at the beginning of the deadlock last November. When initatioii, hardship, danger and discomfort spread from the coal regions to the entire country, how ever, the coal industry ceases to be a matter of exclusive concern to cither the miners or the operators. One thing the President's commission can do, therefore, is lo make an investi gation that will clearly teveal the fac tors involved at the bottom of the bitu minous strike. It can invite the fullest publicity for all its findings. It can make its appeal to the collective con science of the country and be assured that the force of common opinion will, in the end, drive Congress to its aid. It is not the business of the govern ment to fix wages. The government might propyl ly fix wages if it tould tix all the conditions of life that aie in con stant change to make wane scales ade quate or inadequate in different com munities and different callings. But through some future industrial code or. industrial tribunal the government will and shculd have the right to see to it that bullying and terrorism of all sorts are eliminated from the industrial life of the country. Pending the establishment of the in dustrial court to which we are tending with commissions like the one now to be named, the government will be justified in using all its moral influence to pre vent ignorant and destructive attacks on established industrial organizations. Similarly it will fail if it is less ener getic in the determination to compel a complete reorganization in any basic in dustry that can prosper only by the cre ation of a vast, frightened, servile and defenseless class of workeis. If it is animated by such convictions, the coal commission can safely make its appeal to public opinion in the interest of the nation and society at large. The meeting of the Has looped Ihe members of the new Oratorical lop Philadelphia ah- police rorce was addte'ssed, we are told, by "noted aviators." "includ- iac City Statistician Catlell." j,iie j, 8n excellent thin in an aviator and .Mr. Cattell has plenty of It. Which id preciselr the reason why we find it hard to believe' that1 he was ever "up in the air." The fact that the Midyale Steel Co made. S3,158.2i8.01 net nroflts on muniiu-. would seDi to indicate that MiHvai. i. ... 4saSaliclfc'pttr ; MAYOR-ELECT MOORE'S LETTER j Father of Ten Thousand Sturdy Young Fellows Is Dr. Edflar F. ; , Smith, Provost of the Unl i verslty of Pennsylvania WHAT a fine thing It is to be -'the v father" of more than 10,000 sturdy j-ounic fellows who arc Kolng to lake part in I lie world's affairs! That is figuratively, iho prnml position of Dr. Edgar J Smilli. tuovovt of the University of Pennsylvania, ltii' lis a dutiful so, wlut. flnr fxampte tlial "futher" presents to nil (lie boys who tome under Ms rare ! Proton Smith has n big fnmily. but tie uImi Ii.im tin. kindly overnight and tender sjnipatliy of n mother livin in York, wlio Vi renelii.il the ngc. of ninety -one and who stilj lul.es an active interest in the welfare of '"' In the unoil old days when tlie perforated mot toe 'T.ove Voiir Mother" mid (,'nil Bless Our Home" Iiiiuk conspicuously on the wall we were Inujtbt to revere our parents ami we hope the lesson lias not been forgotten in these profil -takim; iIh.vs -anil Piovosi Smith villi nil the dlnll.v of his hijli office has not forgotten. The dear old mother at York messages her affection to the mo and the son sends back his weekly letter nm! occaslonully tnkes Hip train to visit mother. The KI.OIVi bojs m,. n. proton's enre al the Inlversily are fond of the provost, ami u,,. ior.t just told fur-ill-lies a iiifiicienl reason fur their regunl. QENATOK NKWHKUin, of Michigan. hen secretary of Hie navy for u brief period, hud pill up lo him the suggestion that certain lorpedobonts which I he nnvy intended lo move, fiom New York Nnvy mil to Nor folk should bo sonl through Hie inside water way. Those putting the propositi up to the secretary wanted to establish the fad thai I he inside channels were not wholly udequute for larger vessels, if llnil ".lintiH be Ihe fnct upon inquiry by the secretary. Mr. New hen j did innke inquiry and found Hint the minll boats drew more unler limn they could find lo accommodule Ihein in Hie Delawme mid Tturitan cunal and n!o iu the somewhat deeper Chesapeake and Delaware canal. He therefore ordered the vessels hi sea. Now it happened that tieither the secretary nor any officer of (bo navy forsaw Hint a storm win brewing, but one did suddenly nri-e. and when the small craft were aboiil to make into the harbor of Humpton Itnuds l hey were struck good and bard. Some of them were driven to sea and one or two were partly damaged, some of the crew being injured. The New berry test thus pioved up the case of the waterways advocates; also helped to make the western people belter understand the eastern waterways situation. TT IS not generally known, but It is true L nevertheless, thai ex -Governor Edwin S. Stuart, former Mayor of Philadelphia, was directly approached on the subject of the mayoialty and Hint he asked some qnes-tion-. Tlie fiovernor. of comic, would have made h good Mayor. Jle knew the ropes, having been through them, hut the ex-Governor bus large business interests, is president of the Union f.eague. which Is a highly de sirable position, and gets almost as frequent opportunity for pleasure and speech-making a' if he Here Mayor. TpU.WOOD R. CHAPMAN is figuring In -' public lonferences as the representative of the Chestnut Street Ilusiness Men's As-"oi-iation. an organisation made up of nieicliants who stand for a greater Philadel phia. Mr. Chapman knows a good deal about the candy bilsiness'and has been heard in ."Washington on the subject of the candy tax. which he thinks is excessive. lit Philadelphia he has been attending Itupid Transit conferences and ictently has blos somed oul a- a teal student of waterways development. A SEH10U problem in some south ern towns the lark of Inhnr. Tl.,. South has depended largely upon the neio and struggled hard to hold him in tlie .ni ton fields vi hen his services were demanded for the Panama caual. The war in Europe then took many of the cotton field laborers into the sert ice. and increased wages for ti.ose who iemnini permitted them to travel, nmnv of lliein coming to the northern stales. The departure ot many negroes and the geiieuil iucicase in wages and the col of living have given Ihe southern tier oi states much food for thought and have ue tually delayed a number of, large enterprises It is a ciinnn? fad in this' connection thai Tand mines hute been rising along the line of contemplated waterway improvements in the South and that this is partly due to Hie rotation of crops, a practice long postponed by southern farmers because of thejr com plete reliance upon the yield of eottor. T OIJIS N. (iOI.DSMlTH, exulted ruler f -- I'll 111! ( I rihill I uiinn Vrt O ,lAtl Lodge No any other Klk gel away with the notion thai "' ti. . uurs &'- .-.u. ... uurs imm e he belongs lo a lodge older than No. 2. "Philadelphia Lodge." be say. "is Ihe old est lodge in Klkdnm. notwithstanding il Is No. ''." Bis class work is being done in the lodge and the headquarter at Arch and Juniper streets arc mighty attractive to Ihe brethren. .1. HAMPTON MOOItK. The announcement that Senator Lodge will nominate Governor Coolidge for Presi dent at Ihe Republican Natioual Convention lit somewhat calculated to dumpen eulhusi asm. Hut. after H, Senator Lodge won't like it any more than the rest of the country, A lone Peon freshman procured the only vacant seal in a car reserved by two dozen. Ogontz schoolgirls for He trip home' fur Ihe Christmas vacation. And yet there aie sonic' silly persons who contend that there l- no such I hint; n luck. No Nobel peace prices ate to be awarded for 1918 unci 1010. The news from Chris tiania suggests Ihe thought that if somebody had ever suggested an Ignoble war prize the hermit of Amerongen would be everybody's first choice. Politicians are already resming looms in Chicago hotels for the Republican Na tional Convention. This is not merely taking time by the foielock; it is snatching Ihe old man buld-headed. If Mayor-elect Moore always has ad visers aa competent as Colonel Bill DnugluK be will bring home the bacon as readily us he brought home the caovasback. The unanimity with which platform makers indorse woman tuff rage is an excel lent, illustration of making a virtue of nw. cessity. 'Constitution Commission Opposed to Convention." mjh a newspaper headline. "Blave to it," is our nuggested amendment. The eud of the coal strike Insures plenty of light for Santa Olaus when he makes his well -advertised journey, Mr- Lanalnr rubber-stamps the.rumi itlti4 ,Ao..ilfB. M.abjwrd. "M..t. THE CHAFFING DISH I THK firijt use of "some" in its modern slang application, .o far as we are aware, N in Acts viii, !. where we read: Tline icnn a vrrlain mini nniiinl Shiiuii. irliich heiorflime in. the same vily ii.terf snirpfii, ana" bcicitcherl the people, of S tiinria. giving out that himself rrus sonic grtal one. We beg to announce that from uow until Christmas no contribution will b printed in the Dish unless the envelope hripging il wears a lied Cross tuberculosis stamp, The demijohn of Missouri cider having come lo an end, there, is nothing to look for waid to until the New Year resolutions. And most of those were already 'pledged on the forenoon ot July first. Several of our always-helpful clients have hastened to inform us that Miss Dorothy Oish has been adorning the screen this week at Rroad and dockland and at Twenty-ninth mid Dauphin. These palaces are n little off our regular bent, bill we will try hard to make pilgrimage to one or the other.. It will help to keep our mind off Mr. I.ederer for the next few days. Post-War Problems IM oer seventeen And loe tliem both. , A NN - V Me,- lithe young bo. isli figure Suidlng alonB with me O'er loads acrisp with miluinnV confetti. Talking- (tier srave gmy eyts Hsparkle) if problems Which vex this complex world of ouis; I'lunnlnp liow limn , .May hasten on Ills Jouiney Toward the millennium Is a tonic to my soul dleanHlne an'1 hi Being As the mountain air. y, , RITA Is bewitching. ' ' 'i ; Her jet black hair Vanning; my clioeU ,, ' As we dance together v Is as wino to my blood. To -look Into her laughing eyes Is (deleted by Rocrtitett in f.-nuoia mooit; Oh loid ! Were Paradise enow. ANN ' , "''' rV .liglit stop ni. kisses ' To ponder On the possible effect On the economics of evolull'on, RITA Thinks Soviet , Ih Home new Russian dance And objects to the Democratic administra tion ' HecuiSB II abolished The Sam Browne belt. f-jOLYOAMV Is not considered good form, And it It were I'd hate to have to IntiOduce Rita to 'Ann. ; w HAT'S the answer?, 1,1 BUT. Our advice to Lieut, is to ponder the famou" poem by our friend McAroni: "I gotta lovefor Augelu. I love Carlotta too.". Mr. Hitchcock's friends, says Old Clint Gilbert, think that Mr. H. is the greatest political manipulator in America, and that he alone nominated Mr. Hughes in 1010. Hut what does Mr. Hughes think about it? A Sentimental Journey, or Daniel In the Den of Lionesses Mr. Daniel D. Lane, a Peon freshmau, is to be the only member of the weaker 'sex to ride In the special car of tbe Ogoutr. girls going to Chicago next week. The Chaffing Dish, always euterprising, ofl'cm space to Mr. Lane for an exclusive dispatch describ ing hlB adventures. When we are very low in our mind we are wont to console ourself by thinking that at any rale we don't wear one of those leather coats, Continually mindful of the interests oLour nHnrahle. clients, wc went to New York the other day to we William McFee, the author J ot "Casuals or, too ra ana other norels fcud.tWaoet dttflBwigfred-cwtrifcnttJt enim y NONE TOO gOON . """"ivftt-' . v fc - --, jT ----aw s. i roster of the Dish. Mr. McFee is now chief engineer of u United Kruit Co. steamship, running on the New York-Hnvaua-Colon route, and gets back to New York once a month for a few days. We are glad to state that he has promised the Dish some more of his racy dispatches. In spite of hot competition on the part, of the Atlantic -Monthly, the New Itepubllc and other dis tinguished journals, the Pish will continue to print the very cream ot 'Mac's musings. We have nr hesitation in saying thai if our rontribs do ever hold that dinner some of them are talking about we shall reserve, the right to insist, that competent proof of having read Mr. McPee's novels will be re quired of all present before viands are passed around. This will be cousidcred as the intellectual wedding garment, and guests who do not qualify will be jast out, wailing and gnashing, A client lias sent us a long poem anent the perils of immigration. He suya : From China. Japan. Russia ninf JJome, Thr host of invaders continues to come. Transformed front their fathers in fullerl degree. These pretending rountrumen of you and. of me Conformity. Initlt, good icill and ambition Arc teplaced by rebellion, llolshevism, crime and sedition. He rashly asks us to criticize tlie poem. We might -ay a good deal, hut will content ourself by remarking that he Is unduly alarmed. An ancient crime, one Hull still raukles in our mbnd, was recalled In us lis we were browsing in a second-Hand bookstore yester day, In 18SS John C. Van Dyke, the well known !u I critic, published a book called "How to Judge of a Picture." The sub title of this volume was "Familiar Talks in the Gallery With CncriticalvT.overs ot Art." They must -have been very uncritical or they would never have permitted the professor to gel away with a title like that. Flat Silver IN ADVERTISEMENTS rosy alow a ehlfton-Hheathed gazelle Hangs o'er the boxed mahogany, bright with "Patrician's" spell. The "Fairfax." or the "Ohlltern" mould de light this sweet sllk-stbckliig. (Coles Phillips limns such litelike sheen on ankles wrought with clocking) Dut no one pictures forth th brand that feeds nine-tenths the nation, The spoons that lctual trencher-men In city or way station. !eiiiocruc,v seta forth Its board a table far . from slattern With butter, spreader, fork and knife cast in the "Woolworth" pattern, -M. V. X. S. Well, the happiest day of the year is only thirteen days away, but most of us won't, begin to get really miserable about it until next week. Motor bandits steal $00 worth of ham and eggs, says a headline. Why didn't they take enough to make a square meal? It's'an odd thing that somewhere Iu These Stales there's a perfectly 'vlrfuous, shrewd, decent and commonplace man walking around who will be' elected President' a year hence,' n nil will then become a Political Figuie liesd. an Impractical Idealist, a Tool of the Party and a Self-Willed Bureaucrat. """ We hare decided to stop taking a cold shower bath in tbe mornings. It only causes us to make a lot of virile resolution about the number of letters we are going; to write during the day, the jovial little essays we are going to seine up from the vasty aesp for our nlce-inlnded DIshfant, and (he promptitude with which we will attack our Christmas shopping. . Starting the day in this high-minded and zealous fashion only makes tbe disillusion of R p, m. all tbe more ghastly, SOORATKS. There is no truth in tbe assertion (hat Chicago is called the Windy City because of the number of political conventions held there. Speaking of cold waves,, the Bibulous One,, declares (hat the coldest he know of i. tnuaatribut4.hj., the- water wnk. THE PEDDLER F1 I1NE knacks for ladies, cheape, choi&e, brave, and new, Good pennlworths, bul tnony cannot move ; 1 ke.epe a faier, hut for the laler to view, A beggar may bee liberull of love. Though all my wares be trash ihe hart Is true. Great gifts are guiles, and looks for gifts againe: 'j My trifles come, as treasures from toy mlnde ; ' It is a precious jewell to bee plaine: Sometimes in shell the orients pearles wjir fiode. Of others take a sheafe, of mee a graine. Within this packe, pinnes, points, lacs," and gloves. And divers toics, fitting a country faier; But my hart, where ducty serves and lov, Turlels and twins, courts brood, a heavenly paler. Happy the hart that thincks of no reinovts. (Prom John Dowland's "Second Books ,ti( Soogs or Ayres," 1600.) The bumps President Wilson has re ceived are those that may be expe.cted one who hitches his wagon to a star. . t Germany, believing that delays arc dan gerous for the Allies, is gumming up the game as mucn as possible. i bis Is the season of the year when Santa Clans popularizes the whiskers Car- ranza has brought into disrepute. Paterfamilias is of the opinion that th original motor Bandit is Santa Glaus. Only half the truth in the world is be lieved, and half of that is misconstrued. 4 ii ion uuuuaisiracjon ever nan a .Mexi can policy it has probably lapsed. Wltat Do You Know? QUIZ A U How did hansom cabs get their name?" 2. Name three cities in Alaska. ""e .i. wno was the last chancellor of Ger many under tnc monarchy? t 4. What Is an odalisque? B. What Is a seismograph? . - 0. When did Roosevelt settle the great anv thracite -strike? i. What were the hanging gardens ,of! Babylon? 8. 0. What was the Novum Organum? wuy floea tne number forts occur aoj frequently in the Old Testament? 10 Distinguish between ItVank H. Hitch -1 cock and Gilbert M. Hitchcock. Answers to Yesterday's Quiz 1. I'he, Republican National Convention is to be held in Chicago on Jane 8. 2. Four Republicans mentioned as possible, candidates for the presidency are General wood, Governor Lowderij Calvin Coolidge and Senator Harding. 3. The 'word coupon should be pronounced as though It. were spelled "coopen,," 4. Demosthenes, tbe famous Greek orator, lived in the fourth century B, -C, 5. Tbe colors of the flag ot Japan are red, and white. V 6. I'he declaration of Bordeaux was made by Trench Alsatians and Lorraiaer's In 187.1.' It denounced the ccsjion.'.df Alsace-Lorraine to Germany and pro claimed ine rigm ot r ranee to th provinces. ' 8, The shortest day In the year Is om times December 21 and sometimes December 22. 7. An eautrry is an officer of a prices r noble intrusted with the care of thai horses. ' It is also an office of tb British royal household,' 0 Starlings can sometimes be trained U talk. The War of 1812. the Mexican War 10. and the world war were epadueWlfi iiDuci' jjvmoi-raiic uminnirmiona ns thB""0Uf Stats. ' , J -ft
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers