. - , -"tT-"-f - -1 firtVPirTaaP "i-.w 'T"t iu K.J " r 16 EVENING PUBLIC LEDGER-PHILADELPHIA', WEflOTSDAY, SEPTEMBER . 3;' 19ld - l "f F, t w IK V& w k E. r m , i.' 3 ifaienmcj fubUc Ule&geE PUBLIC LEDGER COMPANY t r-i. .CTP.U? U-. K- cuhtis. rtinKNT .c'!fr,t. " '-udlnirton. Vice. Present, John C. v JUrtln. SeereUry and Treasurer! rwtlp fl Collins. Jnnn 11. vvlln.m. .lAhn t unli-an !,!.....- I .JtTOntAt. BOAHI). Cincs II K. Ccnns. Chairman t'DAVID E. SMttrr Editor J JOHtt C. itAnTl-V general IliulneBs Manac j. rublljhjd dally at Ptraito l.nwt nulldlnj. it. iiiuriTiiucm-B -iiunre., i-nuaueipnia ' AtUhtio Cm rrtss-Vnlon nulldlng JJnw Yon 200 Muruvnilian Tower naraolT. . 701 Tord JlulM'ng- AT. Locis . inn rnilerton NulMIng Cuicaeo 130 intant. Building nkws ncnnAUs; tVuntioTON UciBir. "j J?' l.T"r. Pennsylvania. A-. and Hth Pt. 1J Tonit Itincf Th Ann Hulldlnr t Lu.vdon Boiitio London rimrj t HiincnrpTio.v thrms Tho -Sve.-iino Tt blic J.moitt 1 served to sub ' svcrlbers In Philadelphia and surrounding towns a thftiate- nf Iwetvo 112) cents per week, pajabla to the. carrier. .By 1 all Vo points outside of Philadelphia. In the. United States. Canada. c United State pns esslnn. po.Uce free flftv (10) renti per month B (a) doners per jear, payable In advance To al! foreign eo'titrles one (ft) dollar ier month. Noticb Bebserlb.rs ivlshlnir nddres chanted Oust clva old as well ns new addresi BELt, 5000 TFALNUT :;eitone. maiv 3000 -J Address nil cnmmutiirattoni to V enhtff Publto Ledger, independence Square Phtlad-lphla. , J Member of the Associated l'rcss t THE ASSOCIATED PliESS is rjrclit sivclu entitled to the use for tcpuhtication 0 all news dispatches credited to it or not cthcrtcisc credited in this piper, and also the local netcs publishd therein. 1 AM right; of republication of special dts patches herein ire also reserved. rfcilidtlphU, Ttednenlir, September 3. 1919 KEEPING IT UP fJlHE registration ycsteiday was un ' doubtedly n partiul index of the enter prise of Philadelphians a week as;o. The turnout on the first of the three days was bo extraordinary that some falling off on the middle date was to have been ex pected. But only the most optimistic antici pated any such unprecedented second day turnout as occuried. More than 07,000 citizens qualified to vote yesterday. This is 20,000 more than registered on the second day preceding the last mayoralty election, and it raises the total for the two days to 280,000. The voters arc evidently awake anil giving heed to what is going on. And the unprecedentedly large number of them legistering indicates, bejond ques tion, that the men who have stayed at home in previous elections are planning to go to the polls this year. The rule is that when this sort of thing happens the political machine in power is doomed. "We shall soon know whether the rule is working or not in this city this year. WORSE AND MORE OF IT rpHE second arrest of Charles A. Ambler is on charges of a much more serious offense than the first. He was first ac cused of conspiracy and misdemeanor in public office. Now he is accused of em bezzling public moneys while a public fvs'vransactions which hnvr .n im1 lnnlt. All J? thOfiA inrerpstnj in trio rrtr.A tinmo nf fViA slate hope he will be. But, as was said on this page the other day, this is the kind of thing that must be expected when men are appointed to office because the politi cians think they must be taken care of. WHO'S MAYOR ANYHOW? ACCORDING to law Thomas B. Smith is Mayor until next January, charged with the duty of making recommenda tions to Councils. Yet Judge Patterson is going about the city announcing that he is in coire spondencc with the ltaders of Councils about public business and that he intends, ,V.as coon as he gets the information he seeks, to secure such legislation as will bring about needed reforms in the con duct of public business and the inaugura tion of such public work as has been de layed for one reason or another. 4 He is not waiting even until he is nomi nated, but is apparently assuming that he is already Mayor of the city. It really looks as if the amiable judge were taking too much for granted. STILL ON THE JOB rpHE old firm of Supply and Demand is on the job in Chicago taking charge of the prices of meat, m spite of the fact that we have been told it had been liquidated long ago and had gone out of business. The people aie buying less meat be cause the prices are too high, and the cattle raisers are shipping their cattle to market in order to sell them before the price goes down any lower. The increase in the supply and the .falling off in the demand produced the inevitable result. Prices went down. It always happens. The packers cannot prevent it, neither can Congiess perma nently interfere with it by any law which it can pass. "A PERFECT ORGANIZATION" ,rpHEY are telling us that Judge Patter- Bon will be nominated by a handsome Majority because he has a perfect or ganization behind him. And then Coroner Knight gets up on the platform and denounces the new charter which the judge helped to draft. The judge was on the committee which prepared the bill that the Legislature And when the coroner rmt flniaVio.l y&ilking the judge gets up in the same mAerinn flnrl nava ihar. hn cTinva :. u fc ucv i ...,'., : . '.- KTA worjc oi maKing ine cnarter and that he !L lll1 iril1 onfAnn ife ni.t,ia,nna . 1IA 1 J TT4 C1MVAWW IVd y . V i iojiia ill ICLtCT aim aftrijiB spirit. tu, ima dc me way a penect organiza- runs its speakers' bureau ,jthen the e must be wishinrr he were hnckprJ rv one Jiot quite so perfect. BETTER BURY IT -Hvo who used to look forward with ' lap io the prospect of their party re- sjMdailnce ihn wiiprpRa nf fhA T?pniiViHai sEto t tafet K " rty they cannot be contemplating with W, tltisfaction the spectacle of the national It lf Ewn'ttco considering the dissolution of VjfVa'pmy organization. V ,T?ie old-timers thought that the re- j arlctlon, of the snlo of liquor was a 'eat- mpMVSM political issue as tne mlogy yfflpiii civ for ycors, hut -th& parjy has never polled votes enough to have any effect on a pvesidential election. Its first candidate was named in 1872 and 6600 earnest citizens voted for him. It reached high-water mark In 1004 when Silas C. Swallow, of this state, received 258,500 votes. The party cannot even claim credit for the passage of the prohibition constitu tional amendment, for that was sup . ported in Congress by Republicans nnd Democrats and was ratified by Demo cratic and Republican state Legislatures containing men who never voted the pro hibition ticket in their lives. Of course, it may be said that the agi tation of the question for nearly two generations by the prohibitionists may have educated public sentiment, but it is doubtful if the political prohibitionists had so much to do with the matter as the people who believed that the best way to bring about leforms was through the existing parties. Whether the narty lives or dies is of little consequence. It has never been alive enough to convince even its mem bers of its vitality. PLAIN SPEECH CAN WIN WILSON'S LOST GROUND Tho President on His Tour Should Rid Himself of the Habit of Reticence Acquired at Paris "'AN Mi. Wilson reconquer America? That he should consider it necessary to make the attempt is a sure indication of a soit of change in the national tem per that he himself would be the first to perceive. A year ago tho President would not have had to tour the country. He owned the woild. It would have followed him anywhere in a straight line. Ho re claimed something priceless from a ruin that seemed complete. Heard suddenly m the heat and flame of war, he roused all sorts of people to new and magnifi cent resolves. Now he is going out to be judged according to standards that arc largely of his own creation, to meet a challenge that he himself first put into wolds, because he lagged either through sheer weariness or before insui mount able obstacles in the service of a great cause. Such is the fate of prophets and the way of Providence. If the people up and down the country could explain in u sentence some of the doubts that come unbidden when the President's policies are considered they might say that Mr. Wilson created much and destroyed nothing. There is a growing fear that the league of nations is being built on shaky foundations and that the old order of statesmanship has a new and gorgeous sanctuaiy in a tem ple that was intended to celebrate its end. This isn't true, of course. But the de sign of the treaty isn't all that it ought to be or what it may be. There are some dangerous weaknesses in the general foundation. The Shantung settlement gives to Japan not only a part of China, it gives to the Japanese the means they would require for an industrial and mili tary conquest of China. It gives the Japanese the resources necessary to an aggressive policy in the Pacific. There are other details of the treaty and the league covenant which Mr. Wilson has never explicitly explained. His tour will be a culminating test of his versatility. The very breadth and lnclusiveness of the President's reasoning, his habit of dealing with fundamentals that may be discussed only in general terms, hasbftcn kept him from that close community of understanding with plain men which he himself seems most to desiie. At a time like thfs there ought to be plain speech. The peace treaty and the scheme for a league of nations touches human life everywhere more closely than anything else in the world. It is the one great hope of civilization. It ought to be made understandable. Mr. Wilson can still find the nation solidly behind" him if the habitual restraint of meticulous good manners doesn't make it impossible for him to put. his whole case in simple terms. If there has been treason to the cause of the league of nations it ought to be exposed. If queer compromises were found advisable we should know why. There is enough courage and fortitude still in the world to make all of the President's hopes yet certain of realiza tion. The Paris conference was a bit too restrained and correct. What the world needed was a robust hater, a John the Baptist with a tongue of fire, who feared nothing not even the judgments of his tory. It still has use for such a man. In his absence Mr. Wilson has an oppor tunity to play the part as he didn't, or couldn't, play it at Paris. Sensible men will not expect levela- tions of peifection either in statesmen or in a new system of international rela tions, because perfection is not attainable this side of heaven. Yet they do expect 'the President to clear some of the fogs of mystification that have been permitted to rise out of Washington, to give them back their full faith in him and to make more definite answers to the Senate than he has yet made. Meanwhile it is idle to throw verbal bricks at Congress as a whole. Mr. Lodge is not the Senate, nor is Sherman, nor Borah, nor Johnson, nor any other man of the willful group. The important element in the Senate, which Mr. Wilson may easily win to his side, is composed of about twenty-five conservative-liberals on tho Republican side who have been keeping their peace and doing some watchful waiting on their own account. The men who do the most talking do not greatly matter. And a wrong-headed minority is not by any means a bad thing to have around. It keeps good men in training and on the alert. There are men of a sort who would oppose the Ten Commandments for the satisfaction of making a fight or view even the Beatitudes as an ominous de parture from precedent and a certain cause of disaster. They harassed Wash ington, Lincoln and Roosevelt. They were presents in the wilderness to scoff at Moses, to plot aad, whisper and make Iiigh sigtu aM jnigspwrfe in th Ixtclf- ground. Doubtless they gave tho great man some concern. But tho laws remain. Life wouldn't be complete without a hard-boiled minority with stimulating suspicions and n talent for noise. What we ought to admit is what his tory will say in many volumes that Mr. Wilson is a very great man, with a mag nificent purpose that he is trying to servo against overwhelming odds. His own ex pressed alms were so high that they were almost beyond the scope of possible things. Yet it is for his fnilurc to achieve the ultimate that ho is now being criti cized. Had ho mado no promises, ex pressed no hope, described no plans, he might have been applauded for achieving as much as ho achieved at Paris. He himself sharpened the critical faculties of the country and he is to put his cause at last in the hands of a jury which has been trained in discernment by following him in the past. He has to win back a vast mass of dissatisfied opinion before he can bo sure of the reaction that will force favorable action on the league cove nant and the treaty of peace in the Sen ate. But he will have to got a little closer to tho ground. Ho will have to analyze and describe and expose and cx-pl.-iin,. detail by detail, tho processes by which he was seemingly diverted at right angles from some of the purposes that took him to Paris. It will be said that the President's tour is intended to serve a political purpose. It is, if we consider the term in its larger meaning. Mr. Wilson has a right to tour the country and to seek such support as he may need, whether it be expressed at the polls or more subtly in what we know as public sentiment. Any man has that privilege. We are governed, fortunately, not by men, but by popular opinion. An intelligent appeal to that opinion is a method of procedure without which free government could not last. It is the very basis of the democratic theory. EASY MONEY TT MAY be that the plan of awarding war contracts on the basis of cost plus a profit of 10 per cent for the contractor was the best that could be devised under the circumstances, but it was certainly not economical. It gave to every con tractor an inducement to make the work cost as much as possible, in order to get a profit of ten cents on every dollar that he spent. How it woiked is illustrated in the case of the shell-loading plant at Fort Dela ware, which is still incompleted. It was estimated that the plant would cost $1,500,000 at the outside. Already ?14, 000,000 has been spent on it. It is as sumed that this money was used in build ing a larger plant than was contemplated in the original estimate, for with all the waste no one supposes that there can be so great a difference between esti mates and expenditures. The salaries of the officers of the com pany building the plant were reckoned as part of the cost. So the company set about raising salaries. Its manager had been receiving $10,000 a year. This was made $15,000, which carried with it a profit for the company of 10 per cent, or an extra $500 on this item. Other lesser increases were made for other officials, each carrying the 10 per cent of profit named in the contract. There was nolhdueement to seek labor in the lowest market, for the higher the wages the bigger the profit. If carpen ters could be hired for $7.50 a day and the contractor paid them $10 he would make twenty-five cents more a day on every man hired. And the same rule applied to all material bought. If the government had tried to devise a plan to make the work cost as much as possible it could not have developed a more perfect one. When Congress gets through exhibiting how the plan worked it will be a long time before any public official will again indorse any such scheme for putting easy .money in the pockets of contractors. Mr. Hoover's cxplaiin RlockauVs tion of the IiIrIi prices . in tho United States de scribes neutral markets in Kuropc bulging with stored food shipped in by speculators in this country and elsewhere who hoped to pet famine prices from Russia and Ger many when the allied blockades were re moved. But it appears that the hungry people in the east of Europe cannot pay and the food is going to waste. It has always appeared that a restriction in the home countries to limit exports und prevent just this condition would hac been wiser and more humane than the blockade maintained against Germany and Russia. A woman's foot caught (iod-Ghen Impulses in a frog on a railroad track in Chicago as a train bore down upon her. Her husband mainly tried to free her and then, "111 stay with you, Mary," he said. Both were killed and their three children are o phans. Now, some wjll say he should hao saed himself for the sake of his children. It may have been that had he had time to think ho would have taken the common -sense course. But he acted on impulse and it may be he has left his, children a greater legacy than if he had lived and worked for thcra ! It used to be said in The Iluln Is Being Washington that the Whitewashed gocmmcut of the United States wos ad ministered through three Houses Congress, White and Colonel. Since tho President's chief aide drifted into trouble iu 1'urope it may be said that the government now consists of two Houses and a half. Every man alive has The Foolishness all the time in the of Short Cuts world. He Is wise who spends It wisely. He often wastes it who tries to save it. A Peterson, N. J., teacher tried to save it by crossing the tracks in front of a locomotive. He lost it entirely and found eternity. "Oust Burleson!" cry They're Busy Men the letter carriers. Is that the worst tbey would do to him? Uncle Sam is doing bis best to give old II. C. of Ii. beans. I Tbn wind still blows through the Car ranza. whiskers'. The North I'enn Rank diMM U B4;tee!,'bter opiate rapWtr pmvhtt 'to J$ clIXv' "V;,1 44 m. - ,..-..,.. ' t .' natrik s.. j .u i CONGRESSMAN MOORE'S LETTER Gossip About William Rowen, Colonel Nicholson, Joseph R. Grundy, Peter Contello and Others A PrLH culture is now an organized bus!- ness in the United Slntcs, a largo pro portion of the apple growers having come tocelhcr in an association which is headed by Charles .T. Brand, former chief of 'the Bureau of Markets iu the Department of Agriculture. It is not generally known that Pennsylvania is rapidly developing as an apple-growing state. Adams county, ac cording to William C. 'Tyson, of Flora Dac, Is now the banner applc-ralsing county of the state. The apple growers who are making this particular business their spe cialty here nnd in New England arc begin ning to treat their trees almost as they would livestock, seeing that it costs less for feed und briugs in larger returns. The apple specialist no longer plows between the trees to plant other crops, lie gives the tree and its roots free plav in the soil. ITTILLIAM ROWEN'S pride is tho Kcn ' singtou High School for Girls. For a long time it was n question whether "Ken sington" should bo adopted ns n name for the new school, but William believes in the old landmarks. He is not ashamed to be known as a "Fish tow ner." The record of that interesting colony, which dates back to the settlement of Philadelphia and the treaty of William I'enn with the Indians, has been n source of delight to tho Ken sington member of the Bonul of Education. There is one thing about Kensington which the old-timers of the Rowen l)pe do not foil to hnrp upon. It's snapper soup. The KenslDgtonlnns were great tishermen in the olden dajs, especially when the shad and cuttiis were running good. TVt. HENRT BEATES, Jr., who has U done ns much as anv one to uphold the medical standards of Philadelphia, includes Washington, New York, Lancaster nnd points in New Jersey among his "ports of call." Doctor Beates is thoroughly familiar with the unfair practices that have grown up in certain alleged medical institutions that le turned out "half-baked" doctors on an unsuspecting world. Through his state and national connections ho has helped to destrov a umnbei of these. Like nil other good Phlladclphiuns, he puts in a good word for the medical institutions of Philadelphia and says he has been puHicuIurly pleased with the progress made by the medical school up at Dr. Russell II. Council's Temple Uni versity. pOLONEL JOHN P. NICHOLSON", whose '-' Civil War library is probably unexcelled, is residing temporarily at Gettysburg, where he heads the government commission iu charge of tho famous battleground. The colonel has taken a deep interest in the maintenance of this property nnd in the accurate location of the monuments and me morials celebrating the brave days of tho participants in the great American struggle. The colonel also still keeps in touch with the Loyal Legion, through which in tho earlier dajs bo came in close contact vvijh the great Union leaders in the War of tho Rebellion (rant, Sherman, Sheridan, Slo cum and "the Christiun soldier," Howard. TT'S THE way you look at it. Warren G. , -- Griffith, the Philadelphia lawyer, ap peared at breakfast at the Union League the other morning lather late. Eugene Harvey and Harry McMnnus were already on their way to look after the day's business. "Warren, my boy, remember the early bird catches the worm." "All right," said Mr. Griffith, "I don't like worms." Eugene Harvey, broker and friend of Vic tor Herbert, has since been woudering what Warren G. meant. SAMMY CLEMENT, the public utilities commissioner, is said to be getting in some quiet licks for Patterson for Major. Sammy nlways had the happy faculty of getting close to the political leaders, but he has not always been free from "the taint" of reform. AVhen Billy Knight, the coroner, nnd Jimmy Sheehan. the register of wills, were Union party reformers the present public utilities commissioner was very much in evidence with them. Later on he became a valued but highly confidential adviser of Senator Penrose nnd State Senator Mc Nichol. He was with the Vurcs in the Supremo Court fight two years ago, however, und it is not unnatural that he should fall in for their candidate, the judge. In this he is not in nccord with Harr.v S. MeDevitt, the Governor's soerctarj. Mighty hard to tell which side of the fence to full on these days. ' JOSEPH R. GRUNDY has tukeu a vaca tion and it lasted three ull weeks. This is one of the Stirling news nods in Bristol, where Joseph eujo.vs the good will of the populuce. The president of the Pennsylvania Manufacturers' Association was accompanied by his mother and sister, to whom he is devoted. They toured the White Mountnins and drifted into Canada, where the hotels were crowded, thus neutralizing the delight ful weather effects. Canada this jear seems to bo a favorite resort for those who have been touring Europe heretofore. But the idea of Grundy taking a vacation is the big news. Joseph's activities are not limited to his own business at Bristol nor to the work of the manufacturers of the state, who regard him as their lender. He is a farmer also, taking as keen nn interest in Berkshire hogs and Leghorn chickens as the trained agri culturist. The hogs, w e are told, pay better now than chickens, because of the liich feed r costs for the latter. GC. RAMSDELL is taking more than a passing interest in the mayoralty con test in Philadelphia. He is the fcou of J. G. Ratnsdell, who came down from 'New Eng land j ears ago and sturted it piuno business In Philadelphia. The elder Rumsdell had a penchant for jachts and sailed in the same class with Francis Shuuk Brown, who after ward became attorney general. At one time tho elder Rnmsdell made a btab for Con gress in the Third district against Con gressman Moore. HENRT 8. BORNEMAN, of Frankford, has returned from his vacation. After the death of W.'W. Foulkrod. who rcpre. seated the Fifth district in Congress, the Republicans selected Borneman as their candidate. He made a fine showing, but was defeated, owing to factional differences in the district at that time. The Fifth dis trict is now represented by Peter E. Coa tcllo, who was director of public works under Mayor John Weaver. And Peter is bustling some right now tb bold the district in the mayoralty contest. September 17 will be "I-told-you-so- Day.' Sober second thought has it that a cost plus basis is cost plus gouge. Governor Hobby, of Texas, doesn't in tend to let anybody ride him. ' ' CoroDfe Knlcht touM n.u.,!..'. better epiaioBcf the charter KiH Wf'a f - & Jgr-'-2 y 1 THE CHAFFING DISH W E OFTEN wonder whether Charley Chaplin bruises easily. One of the most congenial jobs we can think of just now would be that of dramatic critic. Speaking of Charley Chaplin, there is one bit of low comedy stuff that ho has neglected. We would like to see a film version of one hay fever victim telling another "I have it worse than you do." The rage and fury of the latter, the bitter argument, and the joint fit of sneezing and puffing and wheez ing brought on by tho excitement all this" would make a strong bid for our sense of the ridiculous. We would like to congratulate tho man who had the good sense to translate lit erally Marshal Foch's good-by to Pershing. A lesser creature would have glossed it over into time-trodden English phrases. But this guy, whoever he was, had the wit to see (Jie power and vivacity of tho Frenchman's own language. "I am struck hard in the heart," said Foch, and the words leap out at us. It is such phrases that make per- i fectly reasonable men sometimes wish they had been born French. The most unpopular character in any of fice nowadays is the man who hasn't taken his vacation yet, and who insists daily on reminding his associates (who have had theirs) that "September is the best month." It is a customary error to think a man sagacious just because he happens to know the things jou don't know. It's a wise employer that can recognize his own stenographer when he meets her in her Sunday hat. There arc men wjfb cannot read any book requiring speculation and ratiocination with out puffing smoke at tho page. Yet this doesn't prove that thinking power is inherent in tobacco. These letter carriers that have been in town don't know what a good friend of theirs we are. We would like to have shown them -our pile of unanswered mail. Just think of all the burdens we might have inflicted upon them, and hsveu't. When Pershing got to France he said "Lafayette, we're here." When he left, Marshal Foclr said (in effect), "Pershing, you're there." June THERE'S Annie of tbe golden bair, there's Jennie of the smile; There's Frances of the tinkling laugh, or Mary and her guile; There's Patsy with her Irish eyes with her I like to spoon But the one that's nearest to my heart is gentle, timid June I There's Maybelle of the tender heart ; there's Nellie of the sighs; There's Lena of the accent, and there's Bessie of the eyes ; There's Bertha from the sunny South, with gentle, drawling croon But tbe one that's nearest to my heart is gentle, timid Juno ! There's Daisy of the Hielands, with a trace of Scotland's burr; There's Tess from Carolina say ! you'd fall in love with her! There's Billlfl of the chorus, always lovely, night or noon But the ono that's nearest to my heart Is gentle, timid Junel ROBERT LESLIEBELLEM, Too Much Terrapin, Perhaps? Dear Socrates: I am a visitor in Phila delphia, and the other day was sitting in a slglitseelng car waiting for it to fill upland reading the Chaffing Dish to pass away the lapguld Interval, I noted a paragraph about' that wle lht-ohi 'bus' a Cbwtsut T 1 fir, 3, ' s' i' , "OH, MR. UMPIRE!" visitors what it looks like. Well, Socrates, what I want to say is I hove been watching Philadelphians, nnd I don't believe they strut. More than that, I don't bee why they should. Now in my home town of Cazc novia, N. Y., we have far more reason for strutting. However, I did see one thing iu your city that I have never observed else where. I saw a very stout man sitting in the front window of a club, and as I went by he made a very cupcrcillous gesture, lie shrugged his stomach. He really did. Now what I want to know is, is that Philadel phia's attitude toward tho stranger within her gates? CASPER WINCH. It is a dreadful thing to suppose but, anyway, just suppose all those small boys should grow up without ever once asking "Daddy, what did you do in the great war?" When a Feller Needs a Friend Scene: A hay fever sufferer, snorting his lif away. To him, enter Mr. Kindly Well meaning. MR. K. W. : So you have hay fever, have you? SUFFERER : mpmp gnng splshshsh nnarrrhnbhoo ! i MR. K. W. : It's a queer thing isn't it? Have you done anythiug for it? HUFFKUEH : fzfzfz nffn rrrr whossh 1 MR. K W.: It must bo awfully annoy- ins. SUFFERER: pooffff ! MR. K. W.: cine treatment? SUFFERER: schnoof ! pfffsnzzhgrh. snqqqzrs Have you tried that vac- blaff grrzznssn gddmhl Vnll Icnnw TVn nAin, enM Jilt. K. W any one in the actual spasm before. SUFFERER: (Comes to and glares dir zily at his interlocutor) Umph ! MR. K. W. : It's really very curious. Is there any scientific explanation? (Curtain) " Any Day You Want, H. -G. Knoxvllle, Tennessee. Dear Socrates: Since all the. boys in the office go in and make a (literary) meal out of Tho Chaffing Dish it is only fair for us to let you see what you may see in Tennessee. (Note: Hue-print plan of home-made still enclosed. Socrates). We have been dry for ten years, but in our mountains we still have places for many a still. I should love to be editor of tbe Dish for one day and believe (as an old Philadel phian) we could draw 'on our memory for enough material. You would then see our Idea of humor: Everybody's hutrior ' ' The Chess-Flayer's Humor (I'd make Dave MJUchell sit up and take notice !) v The Editor's humor The Voolor's humor The Dominie's humor The Conductor's humor Then we would ramble (Editors ramble) and we'd try Delaware jcounty via Sw'arth morej What tales lurktjn tbe confines of the Furnesj home 1 fAgnts Reppller lost her pet rat and buried it there! As Mr. Furness said, "When In the future folks read the inscription on the stone: ,. Aggrlpplna aged two years and her son Nero they will exclaim 'What a- race of women they bad in tboss days'." n. a. cob. Dear Socrates; Graven in tbe stone par apet of the Detroit News building are about . half 'a mile of earnest inscriptions expressing the alms and ideals of the newspaper pro fession. Mirror of the Public Mind, Troubler of he Public Conscience', all. that sort of thing. But what are the ideals of a Chaffing Dish what inscription is to be graven in the stone parapet-to-be sround your desk-to-be in the new Ledger Building-to-be? C. H. A. P. Replying to your Inquiry, C. If. A. r the" Dish's pet uiotto henceforward we shall . .... r.v. .. ... ..V.W OllU M-.,! Mjtttt fnouo la.'twju K tmutnt 'mfmmmm3M , ' u o HrHnivm ' The Canoeist UP SIIININO rlvcfs deep nnd wide, And shady silver creeks I glide; , Across blue lakes, in which the high, White clouds like water lilies lie. My tireless paddles dip and drip And through the crystal current!, slip. Enchanted water vistas new " Unfold before my swift canoe. When dropping down tho azure arc The sun foretells the coming dark; I hug the shore to find a covo, A sandy beach or sheltering grove, Where I can make a little camp, All snug against the dew nnd damp, And in my blankets warmly rolled Sleep till the morning's gray or gold. Into the stream I cast a line And catch a string of fishes fine; I build a fire of broken sticks, My coffee boll, my corn cakes mix ; Then fry the finny beauties brown, And to a sumptuous meal sit down, While all around from bush and tree The feathered minstrels sing to me. I laze, along the Hudson's flow And up the winding Mohawk go; , Lake Champlaiu calls across the walls, Up purple, peaks and waterfalls. Slave of no timetable am I, My hostelry's the starry Sky, And I am passenger and crew And captain of my light canoe. Minna Irving, in the New York Herald. Newspaper advertising increased (he citys revenue from curb nnd shed markets $100 a week during tho last year, Director Datesman savs. There is nothing surprising iu this. The surprising thing is that the fact should occasion surprise. Wliat Do You Knoio? QUIZ Wlin Is the nresent Turkish sultan? Il What is the original meaning of tbe word archipelago? Who said "Wo easily forget crimes tb,at are known only to ourselves"? What is the second largest state in the Union? What Is the "Pater Nostcr"? What town is said to bear the longest geographical name in the world? WhatNwas the nationality of Queen Vic toria's husband? What is the pronunciation In England- of tho word clerk? Where did Gfover Cleveland live after bis last presidential term? On what vessel is General Pershing re? turning to America? 3. 4. s 0? 7. 8. q. 10. Answers to Yesterday's Quiz 1. The Jolly Roger Is the black flag of a pirate ship. 2. Rome becama the capital of united Italy in 1870. 3. Ililo is the second largest city of tbe Hawaiian Islands. 4. "A. Roland for an Oliver" means tit for tat. Roland and Oliver were two pala dins eff Charlemagne whose exploits are sq similar that it is difficult to keep them distinct. 6. A spaniel was originally a Spanish dog. The name comes through the French from the Spanish "Espanol," mean ing "Spanish." 0. Legend and tradition assign the outlaw Robin Hood to the twelfth century1, A. D. 7. The correct tltlo of the Shakespearean comedy is ''Love's Labour's Lost," 8. The two cities whleh'flgure most prom inently ifl tbe tales of tbe "Arabian Nights" are Bagdad and Cairo. 0, Sir Anthony Van Dyck painted thu . famous portrait of Charles I of Eaf land, rtj ' , a "' ' -" ytfl S4f. ' " .''. .. rfr, "III &&. .itL.J h.AlaS -i. ISd fcrtj- r-ra
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers