T rrr vtt iTt wp1 .-v... . -i r ..iTVflaPn ,n, t ' . "'.'Vt; T-.tl If J I jv - -;,, - r ----,; v- . ' T -t ' "j .'.- rf . V cwf Kfij'jrnrTST'Kimr? ws m- ii '"-, &?w I .." , P'ft f 0f I'M i.tr f,5 ap fi ux- w. i j & 4. 4 Y TO " fcu uenmg $Jubltc ledger f'Ht 4 PUI1LIC LEDGER COMPANY f ,crnus it. ic. cuims. rrnDiNT . 'Chsrles It. Ivdlnicton. Vice rreeldent : John C. SUrttn. Secretary anil Treasurers Philip S Collins. John B. WDUai-.-n John J Hpurceon. Directors. vrron:AL eoaud: , - Crura II. IC. Crtiis. Chairman PAVID C. EIST. Kdltor JOHN C UAHTIN Qencral IftalnCH Hanaro. Published dilly nt rrnijc t.cpott nulldlnr. AtLANTIO Ciri jnurrrnutucu s.iuurc, rniluuelpnin. Ikyt Yoqk 2O0 Metropolitan Toner rrrss-unnn uutiainc UCTnOIT St. Ijorm. Chicago . .... inns milerton. nulldlnr ui ioru uinici'nr luu? ' nouns liunamr news nuncAus: WAsniNflini TJUEHXI. N ''. " lcnriJlMinl.l Ave. nd 1 tth fit. Nnw Annie Vn.rr The':;i.u iiuii.ilne Loxdok Uciuv London Timet prnsmtPT'ov Tr.nMS The nrrio Pi rue l.ni,cn in arvrd to su'j erlbers In Phll-ulelplila and nurrotindinc towns at tha rate of tweHo II?) centa per week, payable to the carr'er. Ilv r.all .o po'nn outside of Philadelphia. In tha I'Plted States Canndi c Unlfd states pv sessions, pnstire free fifty ("01 rents per month, filx ($r.) dollars per yea- pa'nMo In advance. To a'.' fnrMm countries one ($11 dollar per month N'OTirr subscribers Ishlnit address chanired must give o' 1 ns i i is ticv I'loress. BELL, 3000 TALMT KnsTONE. Ml' 1000 ttT Aff.feess rtl mitt" itfjrr, mi-p-iidc CfT'mn. fi ir 5 .iinrc, 7.'tr no Pitbl'c l'li ad' .p'l.o. Member of the Associated Press J'JTE AfSnCTA7ED PRESS f rrrhi tiirl'i entitled in the ti'r for rrpiihliration ff ill1! ncirj rfisOcArs credited to it nr not o.hencisc cclit'l im f7its pnprr, nrul also the local iicics iihliihil therein All rirjhti of r ejiubtirntin.i of special dis Valchcs herein i'f ii.ii . nerved. Phllatlrlil.la. Sntunlio t,cill II lulb NOW FOR THE TRUTH! TTPTICK maj have .ier!s of lead, but the pxtra weight ruts punch in its kick. The state has mau a stop in the lipht direction in issuing: tvai rants for the arrest of the p sident an i a duector of the North Penn Bank. In no other way can the tmth be reachi-d. If they are innocent of the charges of conspiracy the truth will be remonstrated. If they are ,guilty they will rei oivt a just punish ment. The next step should brine; about action in regard' to the foimer state offi cials said to be mixed up in this un savory mess WHEN PROFITEERS REJOICE OUCH ient profiteers as are operating in Philadelphia will be glad to hear that the Department of Justice expects to be on their trail "in about two weeks." That, approximately, is what thp De partment of Justice lepresentatives in this city said a year ago. A little super ficial calculation with paper and pencil will prove to any rent-gouger that he has at least another year in which to enjoy immunity from interference by the fed eral authorities. THE FUTILE "GAS MAN" VTT USED to be said of J. Edward Ad-- dicks, that he confessedly rejoiced in every public attitude toward him save that of indifference. In that case his last years were bitterly spent, for to the season of notoriety wherein he bad de , .a lighted succeeded one of stark oblivion. ? His career of political brigandage now " J reads almost as a chapter in some re- mote geologic epoch. Electioneering methods have today their unsavory and vicious strains, but none the less the old flagrant piratical' tactics whereby Claik of Montana flourished and Addicks of Delaware failed are no longer obvious. We have grown at least in subtlety if not in intrinsic virtue. The history of Delaware during the fperiod o furious melodrama in which the affluent and ready-handed "gas man" waged his persistent fights for the United States senatorship is one of the most sin gular of the American political scene. 1,1 Time and again it seemed as though the little commonwealth the first offi cial member, by the way, of the American federal union wpre about to lose its honor in a crisis of bribery and shameless corruption. Time and again its name. was saved by the closest of calls. Disdainful of the righteous indignation which his conduct repeatedly aroused, the Bwaggering Addicks end his millions rose toward the verge of material success only to be plunged into failure which threw little Dover into spasms of excitement unequaled since Caesar Rodney started on his famous ride to vote for the Declaration of Independence. The same fatamy pursue the gas man. It was he hand of decency It is a wretched and sHid record, this tale of the invading freebooter for he was not a native D i .warean who be lieved, until bankiupt, that he could buy a senatorial seat. Even with all his zest, real or assumed, for wtuperation, so long as he was in the limelight, it is ques tionable whether this symbol of deserved frustration co aid take, did he know of it today, even the meagerest pleasure in the final flicker of publicit which his end has aroused. NEW YORK AT A STANDSTILL STATISTICS mj proM- otherwise, but to tr.e average New Yorker fiom Keo kuk, Kalamazoo and Kankakee it was the chief industry of that city which shut down when the actora in twelve im portant theatres of the Broadway sector refused to hold the mirror up either to nature or their audiences the other night. A 9 o'clock grape juice or sarsaparilla in a Rialto cafe is not exactly an inspiring dissipation for a ciowd primed to be shocked with "bedroom farces" or thrilled with the spooky melodramas which have been constituting the chief theatri cal fare in Manhattan's so-called legiti mate playhouses. Furthermore, New York without its stage to praise or blame is about as empty a scene as the nation Without its Wilson to laud or lambaste. W ?t Ifc matters not that Gotham's functions lpfiarevmany and magnificent. To the multj '"'h tudes that? flow daily in and out of its f jlKftfiteS it is earth's most prodigious show ? - t'skan. wherein the critic cries iinVi.i..i (? t 'fi'. 1il Jt inliAWn Vn finll At thn 4- !1. i. i . wnu vici; tits ""' ""; utiici, qxior- ,.; t-MOflls v ,s ol &in:n potency, TV Deprived 0f the exquisite sensation of iwyins a five to .ten dollar premium for a Wat behind n post, what will be left for 'jiSj' ihdie New Yorkers to recount when -' kev return to their distant homes ? Th i glUmtjfi'eh, in thp aquarium, the mute lAnnJraalH In the antral History !L-Rwi'row!9nies6,pwtur ln tnQ Metropolitan, can they compete as sub 811111163 7 fs the Astor Library or tho Rockefeller Institute to be hfireafter listed for nights of revelry? The striking actors may bo influenced by just sentiments, yet it behooves them solemnly to consider wHat Uieir conduct means. A community which positively forbids its members to part with their coin is no city of pleasure at all. Any Parisian will add his emphasis to that eternal fact. A COURAGEOUS ATTEMPT TO DO THE IMPOSSIBLE The President's Address a Proclamation of the Obvious and a Recom mendation of Futilities fpHE task which the President undertook when ho addfessed Congress yesterday afternoon was beyond the ppwer of mor tal man. It was an attempt to prescribe an immediate remedy for that which only time and a long readjustment of the conditions disjointed by war can heal. There has been profiteering and there" has been hoarding. Proof is not lacking. Prices of food and clothing are so high that woikers find it impossible to main tain their families in the comfort whichs they knew four or five years ago. Wages in certain trades have gone up. but they have not risen to keep pace with the rise in prices. But the rise in prices has not been due primarily to hoarding and prof iteering. Prices have risen in Europe as w ell as in America, and government regulation of pi ices has been carried to a greater extreme across the ocean than here. The withdrawal of millions of men from productive industry has de creased the supply of many commodities and, by making it possible for those who remained at work to demand and get higher wages, it has increased the cost and thus the price of what has been pro duced. Then, too, war has been accom panied by an excessive inflation of the currency in all the warring nations. The multiplication of dollars has cheapened them, and reduced their purchasing power. So long as this condition picvails prices will be high. And so long as there is uncertainty about the final settlement of the terms of peace the beginning of the rcstoiation of world trade to peace time conditions will be delayed. The President intimated as much, but he made suggestions intended to relieve the pressure upon the pocketbooks of i the workers. None of the suggestions, however, went to the heart of the matter. His addiess, therefore, was little more than a proclamation of the obvious and a recommendation of futilities. Yet he had to make it. The country expected him to do something, and with most commendable couiage he undertook to meet its desires. A gieater man would have done more or less. He would either have refrained from making recommendations which if adopted will do nothing moic than touch the fringe of the question, or he would have boldly announced that we must grit our teeth and submit to the conditions which war has produced until the operation of the well-known economic laws brings ibout a healthy readjustment. The suggestions for permanent changes which he makes would .involve an interference by the government with the operation of the economic laws. The other suggestions if adopted would have only a slight and temporary effect upon conditions. The Lever food-control law is now available for application to .the situation and will be available until the peace treaty is ratified and the President pro claims the end of the war. It permits the government to prevent the hoarding and monopolizing of food. It permits the President to buy food picducts at a price fixed by him and sell them and use the money obtained to buy moie food to be resold. It forbids dealers to make un reasonable profits and permits the Fed eral Trade Commission to decide what is unreasonable. This is a war measure; the President would have it continued peimanently and would have a food com missioner under it legulate the sale of all food in interstate commerce. The law has not worked so well as to justify be lief that it would bring order out of the present chaos of high prices. It is doubtful whether a federal law regulating cold-storage warehouses would have any serious effect on prices. The cold-storage system has stabilized puces and effected a uniform distribution of petishable food throughout the year. And it i3 certain that a system of fed eral licenses f.or all industries engaged in intei state commerce and the subjection of them to regulations made in Wash ington would be such an invasion of the domain of private business as would produce interminable confusion, reflected in a demoralization ol prices. Y'et the President says that he as sumes that it is "our purpose to assume national control of the processes of dis tribution." "Nothing less will suffice!" he exclaims with fine assurance. Nothing less will Buffice if we are to enter upon the experiment of state socialism. But there arc some level-headed men who still J think that the sooner overnment inter ference with the processes of exchange is removed the sooner will conditions return to their normal state. As a remedy the suggestion that the retailers be compelled by law to have the cost price of what they sell .narked in plain figures on the article is childish. It is based on the assumption that the retailers are making exorbitant profits and that the exhibition of the difference between what they pay for an article and what they sell it for will force them for very shame to reduce the selling pricrf. There is no secret about the margin of profit of tho average retailer. It is well known that he has to add a generous per centage to the wholesale price in order to cover his overhead ch-rges and ecn dividends on his invested capiUt ivr. cessive profits may pccasionaTly be charged, but competition keeps them down so low as a seneral rule that the , public is not robbed. The most we can expect, now or at any time, is the destruction of monopdy and the prevention or xorner; Ih .iooa EVENING PUBLIC LEDGER-PtflLADELaiA, SATURDAY, ATJ&UST $, products, This destruction will be fol lowed naturally by the disappearanace of profiteering among those charged with the most outrageous practice of it. But there will still remain tho effect of in flation on high prices and the world shortage of food due to war conditions. Mr. Wilson made a courageous at tempt; but in all fairness to him it can not be appraised as anything more than a wot thy effort to do that which cannot be done by any laws that Congress can pass. i "PUBLIC SENTIMENT? BAH!" "PUBLIC sentiment?" cried UncleDave Lane in discussing Mr. Moore's chances in the fight for the mayoralty. "Bah!" Your uncle salted his morning egg and stared in pity at n questioner who presumed to believe that public con sciousness has at times a definite influ ence in American politics. Yet it is public sentiment that wins every important election. What Uncle Dave was thinking about was not public sentiment which is an immensely potent element in politics but the lack of it. It is when there is no such a thing as a definite public sentiment that American communities drift along obedient to the whims of a bossesclique. Now and then public sentiment takes a recognizable form. Something starts it to action in favor of a man or against him. So great elections are won or lost and so the coming election in Philadelphia will be decided. Reformers can do better than sniff at Uncle Dave or lift virtuous eyebrows at his frank cynicism. The failure of re formers to recognize the fundamental principles of your Uncle's code has given the city a reputation for moral' laxity in politics which it does not quite de serve. Every reformer of the sort that Uncle Dave has in mind when he, sneers about "mahogany desk furniture" con cerns himself with generalities and abstract principles. The successful poli tician may not know much nbout eco nomics or the law of ethics. But he usually knows a great deal about life as it is lived on front door steps in the little streets, about friendships, about the binding power of personal contact, about the innumerable small troubles and tiagedies that make up the everyday routine of the average man. Here and in every other city where powerful political organizations are maintained it in a real or, oftener, a simulated interest in these things that gives the boss and his assistants their 1' ' 1 upon multitudes of men who aren't i ested in fine definitions or adminis trative theory. The reformers who lose most consist ently are those who try to convince the rank and file that good municipal govern ment is chiefly a matter of good book keeping. Good bookkeeping may, indeed, be the secret of good municipal govern ment. But it isn't the secret of success ful municipal politics. Successful politics in any ward in any American city consists in knowing your neighbor and doing unto him or pretending to do unto him as you would have him do unto you. A NEW REMEDY FOR STRIKES MOST of the, railroad lines throughout the country had begun to feel the effects of the ihopmen's strike when the President brought the strikers to their senses by the terms of his letter to Mr. Hines. The shopworkors had lost their heads. They disobeyed the orders of their supe riors in the unions. Mr. Wilson made it plain that the government, as the oper ator of the railroads, would not deal with any men or consider any claims until the strikers evinced a willingness to recognize the authority of their superiors by a return to work. The disgruntled shopmencould find no answer to this ultimatum. They began almost immedi ately to return to their jobs. There is a moral here for all thre who still refuse to believe that the advantages of trades unionism can work both wayr. Three men fell Into the Cause for rher from a ferry boat Thanltf illness jetcrday and two others immediately jumped to their rescue. It never fails. Heroes are ns common as blackberries, thank the Lord '. All they need is the oc casion. f Fusey has decided that Ambler must improve his gait. Mr. IJines has been let in for fifty-seven varieties of trouble. Camden street ear conductors may yet have to qualify as registered accountants. Most of us are of the opinion that Henry is no moie of an auarchist than a blowout is a bomb. Oil does not seem to have the proverbial effcA on ' the troubled waters of . South American countries. One sometimes wonders if the nestor of the- Republican organization is a kaka or a kea. The conviction is forced upon one that Congress cannot solve the railroad problem and doesn't care who knows it. ' - The favorite song of eery overdraft ex pert in town was "1 know a bank where the wild time blows." Moore's declaration of independence wan as big a shock to the king bees as was its' illustrious prpdeccssor. There is this to romfort us: It was a whole lot hotter this time last year than it is today. In the paring down of prices the Lever bill is to be used as a kind of jackplane. The North Pcnu serial grows in thrill ing interebt with each succeeding install ment. " The rut of 15 per cent in the acreage of buckwheat ln New .Tcrfcey may have a serious effect on the New Qrleuus molasses crop". . Opportunity knocks at the door; the politician pulls doorbells ; and the answer in both cases is sometimes "Nobody home." Was there any significance in the fact 'that t President didn't begin tf .address . ueszifw uam uiw ,wc Butrajeu Closed I iAt s I I , CONGRESSMAN MOORE'S LETTER A. Mitchell Palmer's Chances for the Presidency Charles Pllllng's In terest In the Tariff The Vares and the Congres sional Delegation Washington, Aug. 0. TtriLIi Woodrpw Wilson he a candidate ' for a third term? The recent adven tures of the President lead many observers here to bclievp tlirtt the President is looking forward, despite suggestions from tho White House o the contrary. Witness the several letters" or messages to Congress isince the executive returned from Ihirope. Although the league of natlohs, was the burning ques tion and the .House had nothing to do with it and the Senate had all to do with It, tho President addressed Congress with regard to soldier welfare and urged that something he done immediately. Congress had been discussing what should be done for the sol dier and regarded the President's message as an intimation that he did not Intend that Congress should have all the glory. n'rer Tumulty, who had been approached upon thcVoldicr problem, is said to have had something to do with bringing this bright idea up to the President. After this incident there was a lapse and the league of nations again became the issue. The House of Rep resentatives was nbout to adjourn when tho railroad brotherhood chieftains walked in very much as they did before the Adamsou eight-hour bill was passed and suggested .that the cost of living was high and that they should have increased wages. Tho President saw the point arid upon receipt of a letter from pirector General Illnes rushed his letters to Republican leaders asking them to halt thfc recess of Congress so that something might be done to reduce the cost of living and give the railroad workmen more pay. As Congress had been consid ering these problems it did look as if tho President was ngnsn "putting one over" on the legislative body. Rut speaking of presidential possibilities, what albo of the Republicans? They have no candidate in sight. TF THE President should not run for a third term who would be his successor? Champ Clark, of Slissouri, or Oscar Un derwood, of Alabama, might still be willing to make the race-. Neither of them is ex tremely confidential with the President and neither of them would expect to make the rare with the support of the administration. Former Secretary of tho Treasury McAdoo has been legarded as the probable heir of Wootlrow Wilson should the latter decide not to run. Rut there are those who believe that-financial troubles and railroad troubles may culminate about the time Mr. McAdoo would put in an nppearanee and put him out of the l umiing. Moreover, there are rumors that the President and his son-in-law do not meet so frequently ns thej on e did and that suggestions- are not so fully exchanged between the two men as they oucc were. This brings the name of A. Mitrhcll Palmer, of Pennsylvania, now attorney general, to the fore, and there arc those who do not regard the Palmer boom ns an idle jest. As alien property custodian, Mr Palmer built up an organization throughout the country which included Republicans as well as Democrats, and which had to do with the dispensation of at least ?1 ,000,000,000. There is enough evidence in the dyestuffs hearings and the senatorial opposition to Palmer's confirmation ns attorney general to shov that he has secured a host of powerful friends in political and financial circles. TSAAC BACHARACH, who represents the -1- Atlantic City district in Congre&s, lias won his first tariff fight. He has Hucceeded in obtaining favorable action upon a "Itach arach Bill" in the House. The bill pro vides for high tariff duties on chemical glassware which hitherto has been manu factured largely in Germany, but which American factories have been enepuraged to make during the war. The bill also includes incieased duties on surgical instruments in serted largely at the instance of Philadelphia manufacturer, who claimed that they could not stand against German and Japanese competition. Charles Pilling, of Philadel phia, appealed before the ways and means committee lu" support of the latter proposi tion. It seems that prior to the war the United States, its hospitals and public in stitutions, were dependent upon Germany for nbout SO per tout of the surgical instruments used here. EVERYBODY in Philadelphia knows that John Fisler, qf the Manufacturers' Club, has strong convictions on the tariff that he is a protectionist from way back. Hence, when Joseph II. Choate, Jr., the distinguished New Y'ork lawyer, urged the bigning of a petition in favor of a protective tariff on djestuffs, Fisler and his friends of the Manufacturers' Club were there with both feet. Rut since it subsequently ap pearcd that the manufacturers signed up fo'r a licensing sjstem, which some of them did not want, John Fisler promptly informed Washington that something was wrong. If Brother Choate makes another speech at the Manufaeturers' Club under the auspices of A. Mitchell Palmer and his able New York assistant, Alien Property Custodian Garvan, it is dead sure that John Fisler will be there with a few of his "convictions" with regard to the ethics that hold among Phil adelphia manufacturers. fTUIE Philadelphia congressional delegation is deeply interested in the mayoralty discussion. Congressman Vare, of tho First District, is naturally concerned over the success of the Vares and all other members take soundings accordingly-. If the Vares succeed in obtaining complete control of the city, what effect will it hnve upon the future representation in Congress? Will it be made an out-and-out Vare annex, or will it run along haphazard as it is now? George S. Graham, of the Second District, does not mix up much in these political talks, al though he is the Pennsylvania member of the national congressional committee. The Third District representative has been much dis cussed as a possible candidate for the Re publican nomination for mayor, and ns it is generally understood that he does not have thp approval of the Vares it is difficult for other member's to philosophize as freely as they might like to do. The Fourth District representative, George W. Edmonds, and George P. Danow, of the Sixth, do little talking nnd much thinWjfcg. The two Georges arc on important committees which are working hard just now, and that perhaps in fortunate. Peter E. Costello, the Fifth Dis trlct representative, is close to David Mar tin and the Vares, and is sometimes a little too wise to tell all he knows. Moreover, Peter has been discussed as a councilmanic nominee under the new city charter plan, and that at $5000 a year with a home iu Philadelphia and no Washington expenses, is worth more than $7500 a year in Congress. Humming-it up, the delegation Is not certain as to what the future portends. It may mean a deadening of the delegation's influ ence or, under the inspiration of proper en couragement from home, a new life and activity that will give Philadelphia her rightful place in the national legislature. -What with their own strike and the strike of. thq street-car men nearly all the actors in New York are " walking gentlu- 'tea ' ineeo dais. 4 1 w$m$mmmmmm i .... ,:fe '- THE CHAFFING DISH A Nightmare ff10ME," said the distinguished archl- , tect,"I want to show you the office I have planned for The Chaffing Dish in the new building." In considerable surprise we followed him. Up a shining marble elevator shaft we shot in n' smoothly rising car, and walked down a beauteous corridor. We found ourselves in front of a-vast ma hogany door, on which was a little bronze pinto hearing the word SOCRATES. Tho architect pushed a button and instantly np-. pearcd a small page-boy in a neat plum-colored livery and silver buttons. On his cap was embroidered in silver braid The Chaffing Dish. "This is the anteroom," said the genial architect. "This is for callers. You will see how tastefully upholstered it is, com fortable lounge chairs, newspapers and mag azines on the table, and plenty of ash trays. The boy will receive all visitors here aud take in their cards. Please also notice this little lens concealed in the wall. It com municates with a periscope beside your desk, so- that you can sec who the visitors aro and what they look like before giving per mission for them to enter the sanctum. Ob serve the sign, PERFECT SILENCE!" It was indeed a delightful chamber, and our heart rose strangely. The walls were paneled ln dark oak; there were sporting prints of high-spirited gentlemen riding to hounds, nnd a bust of Don Marquis stood in the place of honor over the mantelpiece. Wo passed into nn inner apartment. "This is tho nntc-room," said the genial architect. "This is where your stenogra pher, n very beautiful damsel with golden brown eyes and pointed finger nails, will deal with correspondence and take care of the files." , , "And this," he said, opening another door, "is the sanctum itself. Please note how carefully all details have been planned to assist you in your work. Here, by the window, commanding a fair prospect over the city, is a comfortable leather ottoman. It was felt that perhaps sometimes during the course of the day you might feel the need of a little slumber; nothing prolonged, of course, but just a few winks. Here, in this large crystal fountain of green glass, is fresh 'ic water. It has been arranged with a little automatic vnlve that admits a bubble of air into the cistern every three minutes. This bubble, welling upward through tho clear water, is a very pretty sight, and causes a pleasant gulping sound which is refreshing in warm weather. I thought that it would be a nice little gurgle to ljetf 1 the silence of the office. "The walls, j-ou see, have been decorated with mural paintings by Maxfield Parrish, showing the famous Humorists ot History at work, from Eccleslastes down to Henry Ford. Here is a little pipe organ in case you should require the solace of music. And speaking ot pipes, please note the rack of corncobs beside the desk. They aro kept automatically filled with a fine blend of to bacco by a special machine. "Your desk Itself will, I hope, commend itself to -your taste. It has no pigeonholes at all, for pigeonholes are only a device for mislaying Important papers. 'In order to keep your, desk free from confusion I have invented' a mechanical suction pipe which will swing down from the celling every five minutes, pick up all loose documents, and silently convey them to your secretary in the next'room, who will file them. This little gas jet Is for lighting your pipe, doing away with the necessity for Swedish matches. HeriwiB an inkwell which never needs to bo filled, a typewriter that never gets out of order, a pot of mucilage that never gets thick. Observe the drawers of the desk. They empty themselves automatically Into a filing chute every evening. Thus there will never be any of that congestion that you have often deplored In your old roll top." "And how about the Dish itself?" we asked bewildered.- "Docs that write itself ntitfimitlcally?'' 1919 THE CHALLENGE "As nearly as possible," he said, rubbing his hands with triumph. "It will no longer be subject to your fits of temper, weariness, distraction or sloth. You will sit here at the desk, in this beautifully padded chair. An automatic news ticker will unroll before you all the items of the day's news thnt contain humorous possibilities. It will not be necessary for you to read all the papers to collect this material. In the perfect se clusion and complete silence of this lovely npartment you will bo able to contemplate the folly of men with entire abstraction. No more of those tiresome lunch parties that use upso much time. When you feel hungry you will communicate with the chef through this ivory-speaking tube, nnd in five min utes your viands will be delivered, on a silver tray, by this electric dumb waiter. "This is the wardrobe. Here, on these hangers, you will keep your frock-coat and white-margined test. Note also the electric trouser-presser." "Frock-coat!" we cried. "White-margined vest? Pressed trousers?" "Naturally," he said, and it seemed to us thnt there was a touch of sternness in his voice. "In these beautiful rooms you will be expected to live up to your surroundings. And I should have explained that at the ap proach of visitors the shelf of corncob pipes automatically turns round and discloses a mahogany cigar humidor. Of course, you would not be permitted to smoke a cob when callers are present. This is the emergency exit. Through this door a private elevator takes you down to the porte cochere, where your car will be waiting. Of course, you cannot bo expected to sully the dignity of the Dish any longer by going about the pavements on foot. No, longer will you be harassed by contemplating the dally pano rama of ankles, pray-as-you-enter cars, lunch counters, falling match-heads, silk shirts in shop windows, bank tellers and people entiug banana splits all the dis turbing phenomena which have often roused you to peevish comment. You will be whirled in a luxurious limousine from your cloistered library in the country to your equally cloistered sanctum here in the of fice." "Good heavens, man," we cried in agony. "How are we ever going to grab off an idea to write about? Take us back to the dear old kennel!" And at this, point we woke up. Judge Patterson is a Dickens fan, and we take it he s re-reading the immortal Eatanswill election in Pickwick before mak ing up his mind whether to endure tho hard ships of a mayoralty campaign. These things are so much more fun to read about than to live through. The difference between Hnmpy Moore and Dave Lane, wo surmise, is the difference between Island Heights and Atlantic City. Hampy Moore, we are told, has averaged seventy -five banquets- a year for many years. Many will flock to his standard on hearing this. A mnu who has so bravely faced the olives and ice water deserves some retribution. Every time we think we have reached peace of mind our conscience refuses to ratify it, and proposes uncomfortable reser vations. . The President says the world is on the operating table. And the case is even worse than thnt, for there Is no nice gentle-eyed sister planet to hold our hand while we go through with it. Desk Mottoes Friday I tasted life. It was a vast morsel. Emily Dickinson. Why is it that the first match (even when it burns beautifully) never gets our pipe lit, and the first glance at our watch never tells us the time? Invariably we bve to pall jmt thf dlal'for. a second reading. ,-. SOCRATES. I' J '. i - '-.V.:- '"i-c'- -$; . t- . -..i'-.-V - -:':'r6'-V :',-c-'Ci"'" ';- '"-. ' PROHIBITION trt WOULDN'T mind .if it were gin," he - said, "Good gin's like ether, sick with pungent sweet, And rum I never liked not even neat Champagne and such stuck pins into my . head. Old port was sunlight where a ruby bled, The silky-bright liqueurs had twinkling feet Like gypsy children running down a street. And beer's as old a brother as good bread. "Still, I can give them up," he drawled, and sighed ' Like a poor scrawny gust of city wind. "Rut it's the precedent that's bad. You'll find Things worse hereafter I'd a friend who died; And, well, damned souls hod never much , to tell -But now they've stopped the Lethe, down in Hell. Stephen Vincent Benet in the New York Evening Sun. The real hardship connected with the discharge from the navy of GOO yeowomen in this city is that they will be forced to discard the natty uniforms they have been wearing. What Do You Know? QUIZ 1. What is a sternutation? 2. What is hagiology? 3. What city is known as the Monumental City? 4. Who was Paracelsus? C. Whp said, "A He always needs a truth for a handle to it"? 7 0. What French writer was known as theji 7. What is a sigue? 8. When was King Albert of Belgium born? 0. What is the area of Portugal? 10. What flower is known as the shep herd's sundial? Answers, to Yesterday's Quiz Minsk is a town ln Western Russia on the Svlslotch. Solmization is the system of associating each note of the scale in music with a particular syllable representing either C, D, etc., of natural scale, or the first, second, etc., note of any scale. False bay is an arm of the ocean on the southern coast of Cape Colony, South Africa, east of the Cape of Good Hope. Samuel Richardson (1080-1761) Is known as the Founder of the Eng lish Domestic Novel. Epictetus wrote, "Happiness is nn equivalent for all troublesome things." George Byng, Baron Tprrlngton (1003 1733), was an English admiral pres ent at the taking of Gibraltar in 1704. There are twelve Federal Reserve dis tricts Boston, Now Y'ork, Philadel phia, Cleveland, Richmond, Atlanta, Chicago, St. Louis, Minneapolis, , Kansas City, Dallas and San Fran cUed". , Mary Queen o( Scots (1542-87) is sometimes called the White Queen be cause she woro white while mourning for her French husband. Guido d'Arczzo in 1025 chose the first six syllables of the Latin hymn be ginning Ut Qucant LaxU aud devel oped the harmonic hand. Each syl- being movable ns is do in the tonic sol-fa system. The ut is sometimes J known as the Guidonian ut. J "Kinematic" pertains f the .scIehceYofiJ mojion without rfen'tpnforee r 10. 4 '-" v . ' tl maw, ,, k - ff ' - - t W I , " a.w 'i .'Ai.N ' ;:? 'A r "e sa v t :t "? a - k KLhSof, il ' f-. F t L-afcj -,-., :t B
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers