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EVENING- PUBLIC LEDGER-PHILADELPHIA, TUESDAY, JtJLY
15, 1919
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jEiiening "public Hfe&gec
54, m and
tt.L THE EVENING TELEGRAPH
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' mlntin risrs-T ....
' Kl fill II . I.MIIIBalC I I 1 II II I ll V
PTDTTO tf 1 nUtrnin ..-..
y1k C!?irlti H. rudlnrton. Vlc Piwldtntt John C,
' ffi"iMocrnrf ana treasurer; I'niup n toum?,
.tAkn T WI1 ! 11 rs ttl
John B. William! John J. gpurgeon. Directors.
1.JIT0IUXL COAHO:
r Ctics It. K, Cciti. Chairman
.BA.VID E. SMILET
lMltor
tJOIIN C. MAXITIN.
Central nualncsj fanscr
tublljhrd r1llr M rem to T.nwr nulldln,
Atlantic Cur.
inurpcnucnco Kquare, riuiadolplil-l.
I'ms-unton Uullillni:
fcl.SillVT VOK.
DbtiioIT 7111 Tord JlulVllnir
bt. Ji-l.. lfios rullerton llulldlnie
Vj.diicioo 120J Tribune liulldlnc
news nrncAfs:
WiMllSOTON DlUKAC,
N'. K. r. l'ennliDiili A. n,l Uih St.
Wtivr Touk hrniUD 1 lis n i iiuiiillui;
JUOIDON UctitiC London Tun es
ST'iiioniPTiov Tnnvi
Tha ErnNiNd Pi rur I.rpi it. I it-nM to sub
scribers In Phllmlelplila nn.I surrounding towns
lit tha rats of Iwelva (11:) cents per nrfk, pajalile
7 to the. cvrrlr.
. By r.all to points outside of PMInuVlrhln. tit
th 1'nlted States. Cansrtn. or I'nlt'.l HtHtes pos.
sessions, pnstnge free, fifty (fin) rents pr month
Blx ($0 dollars per jear, payable In advance.
To all foMffn countries ons M) dolUr per
month
XoTlcr-Stibscrlbers wlshln addres rhangeil
Zriuat els old as ivll ns nrw sdjrev.
BELL. 3000 TTALM'T
KI V.-TONC. MMV J000
f fcy Address all eoinmt'M ratio t fi h em g ', bl a
J.frforr, J.rrje,trlc.irr Square. I'l.i aulphln.
Member of the Associated Press
TITE ASSOCIATED PRESS !, cU,.
tivtbj tntitlcd to tin' me for irpnliUcttiimi
of all iiricj diipatchrs neditotl In it or not
otherwise crcditrd in this paper, nud io
' the local iiftr.1 published tltrrrw.
All right' nf irpubHcation of sprrial fu
pnfcnci heirm ore alio i nerved.
I'h.laarlphU. lio.rl... Inly r.. P11
"NONPARTISAN" DISLOYALTY
rPHE strength ami backing of the Non
. partisan League in the Vt evi
dently had imall weight Mth the Minne
sota jury which convicted A. ('. Townley
nnd Joseph Gilbeit of conspiracy to teach
disloyalty. The chaige was duectly
based upon speeches with leference to the
'government and the prosecution of the
'war made by the two league leadein.
They asseit that their evidence in
proof of loyalty was unjustl ruled out.
In that case their lemedy lie- in the
(iappellate court".
The special significance of the whole
case is in the rebuke to a mmement
which, assuming the eniict to be pioper,
went far afield from lU onginal pui-
poses.
' Undoubted!) then- was much ju.itice in
"the basic protests of the western fnimeis.
Against oppressive conditions. The league
Tiyns popular. Its radicalism constituted
an entirely new political force. But if the
, extension of its campaign leally carried
it to the point of disloyalty to the nation
'engaged in a great wai foi freedom, up
holders of such principles de-eive -peedy
and drastic punishment.
THE FIRE SERVICE
TT IS only occasionally that the public is
reminded of the cost to othei s of
the peace and safety that is taken for
granted in a city like this.
The investigation of the tragedy in
which six men of the fne service weie
.killed may reveal negligence or fault,
Vut it will not help the situation in the
least. The fact iemain that there aie in
Jthis and in every other city regions in
,, which men who answer fire alarms
always put their lives in deadly peril,
and do it unquestioningly. The old and
crowded buildings congested in any "fire
,bclt" cannot be made safe for the men
who have to enter them to put out fires.
Courage as great as that which carries
men through battle is a necessary part
of the day's work in any fire crew. The
six men who were killed on Satui day
followed countless others .ho perished
similarly in a service that haa never been
rewarded by decent pay or fair working
conditions. And we are taught to believe
J"that we live ina time of justice and dis
crimination! LANSING
eCECRETARY LANSING, now on his
Mvay home from Paris, has not been
rthe dominating figuie in the American
peace delegation. For that reason there
' has been &ome reason to belittle him
and his services.
, Arthur J. Dalfoui, the British foieign
secretary, was not a dominating figure
either. He was overshadowed by Pre
mier Lloyd George, juht as Lansing was
overshadowed by President Wilson.
But Lansing and Balfour have tione
good work, for they have co-opeiated
with their chiefs. They have been part
of the team. This ought to be said in
'fairness to the American secretary of
state, now that his task abroad is com
pleted. It could have been said of a
"much greater man.
Unfortunately, we do not know yet how
irreat a man Lansing is, for his chief
title to fame thus far rests on his ability
to work as a cog in a great machine.
Perhaps this very ability is a token of
greatness.
THE KEY TO THE CONSTITUTION
pATRIOTIC societies, goveinois of
x states, legal lights, boards of educa
tion and chambers of commerce thiough
' out the country aie enlisted in an elab
orate campaign to familiarize Americans,
both of native and foreign, binh, with
Jthe national constitution. The birthday
f of the Union's great charter will be for
. 'xnally celebrated on September 17. In
..the meantime it is hoped that m.tincr.
fff'lJiir the study of the document will he nr.
.v pnnizerl throno-Tinur ihn ni.n(...
I A TVii rirtnnftnnonnB nf nil t
r- r ---- r".ivnBi ii an uiuse prepa
re , lauons suggests mat the constitution u
Hh a PSmething particularly mysterious, not to
i 7 vsy esoteric. Of course it isn't, and the
-3Tea80n lnat n ls s0 r?Peatedly misrepre-P'-wnted
is not that interpretation is go
mmcmt, dui mat me public is unac
sj)ifnted with the actual wording.
S -W V . wont,rouRy simple, direct, self-
r.,Hiuminaiing. ine way to be a "great
. .'Jr,r,gTcbrtitutional expert" is to revive frankly
v.i"u wuisiiiuiicuijr uie oia-iashioned
.wWRorbing system which has become
j infill ying to modern educationists,
. "'Ail the beauties of the most ingenious
rj ,jUnetic scheme are an insufficient guide
' o'the spelling o'f "cat." Psycho-analysis
'iy jncntal tests are incapable of teach-
trc. . ittc. th sonstltution properly unless the
JpUtaMfY. Is rfck,ribbed in the jpupil's
sM-s
W.'buU..w. -
taken as a matter of course in the days
before the word "study" dropped out of
thev pedagogic rule book. Mass-meetings
and interpretative lectures won't help
matters a bit.
Let the ordinary school child be spaicd
the frills and compelled to commit to
memory a few straightforward pages of
terso English. The constitution on most
points ought to be no more puzzling
than the multiplication table.
WILSON CONTINUES TO AID
HIS OPPONENTS IN SENATE
Swanson's "Keynote" Speech Suggests
That Reticence Learned In Paris May
I Yet Endanger the Covenant
i
NO ONE with half a mind tan accept
day as an authoritative or inspired dis
cussion of the administration view of the
league of nations. 'I he address was an
empty gesture. Yet it was one in which
Mi. Wilson was expected to lneak his
long silence nnd be frank, nnnlytical and
explicit.
It is ohious lli.il the President is still
icseiving his confidences. Mr. Swansoti
shifted for himself. He said nothing
that Senator Hitchcock has not said on
other occasions with gi enter force and
gieatei dignity. The countrv listened to
a solemn iciteiation of accepted princi
ples. The new spokesman for the White
House might, indeed, have saved himself
the etltnt.
Only supci final in paiti.-nn obseiveis
can doubt thf fundamental wisdom and
necessity of an enlightened scheme of in
ternational lelntionship along lines pio
posed in the league covenant. Nothing
less is adequate to itveit moral collapse
and economic upheaval over mo-t of the
earth. Those who have nio-t hitteily
opposed the Pari Jilan never have had
the glace or the coinage to piopose an
altei native.
But it is plain that the covenant is not
wholly ideal as it stands. There weie
disagieiment among the Amettcan dele
gate. Decisions weie made and com
promises were accepted foi leasons
never explained The countrv accepted
Mr. Wilson's decisions on f.uth and
tiusted implicitly m his wisdom and his
integrity. It has waited in patience and
it is -.till waiting to bi' fully enlightened
about the aim and pin poses of the
group with whom we uie to aociate
oui. selves in the futuie dneetioii of win Id
atrair.
It is idle to suppose that Mr. ilsnn is
not prepared to inform the countrv full.
Hut he will be wise if he will realize 'now
that the tailh of the people ought not to
be too greall) tried.
The collective mind of the United
States i-, growing slightly weary of such
generalities as Senator Svvanson pie
sented to it yesterday. It may be that
the President's reticence is deliberate.
Does be ee a piacticnl advantage in
lore, ig me oeniue u. summon ami -lues- ,
tion him .' Or is he in a mood to force a
German peace upon Congiess to cast
the Senate into isolation and keep it there
until it piovos a willingness and an
ability to participate once moie in the
counsels'of civilization ?
Is Mr. Wilson disposed to cherish his
old antipathy for membeis of Cungiess
and make a one-man fight for the league
of nations by putting the Senate under
pressure of public opinion roused thiough
his proposed trip about the country'.'
Does he intend to use the league of
nations as a mean8 to fulfill the prophe
cies of a few eais ago and wieek both
old parties in order that he may cieate a
new one which will attract Republicans
and Democrats and a laige gioup of
critical and discriminating people who, in
recent years, have been forced into po
litical detachment?
The regrettable thing is that the coun
trv should have to be in any doubt at a
lime like this about the President's plans
and intentions.
It wants, first of all, the truth about
Paris.
It wants to be informed fully and in
detail about the obligations that it is
asked to assume.
It wants its doubts dialed avvaj and
its faith justified.
Mr Wilson will suffer and his plans
will suffer if he continues to bicker un
necessarily with Congress. He will
avoid an eiror as giievous as his appeal
for a Democratic Congress if he presents
his ense frankly to the people thiough
the medium of the Senate rather than on
a speaking tour, which in itself implies
disdain of his associates in the govern
ment of the United States.
The people aie waiting to be informed
fully about the Shantung settlement.
Mr. Wilson himself said yesterday that
the teims in this instance were forced
upon the American lepicsentatives at
Paiis. By whom were they forced? For
what ends? The real reason for includ
ing Article X in the league covenant has
never been fully explained, though the
Ameiican people have felt assured that
Mr. Wilson could and would explain it
satisfactorily.
The country has a right to no curious
about its future telationship as a mem
ber of the league of nations with Rus
sia, with Austria and even with Ger
many. If we are to co-operate with the
governments of Europe we should be
made fully aware of the motives that
ruled them at Paris, if only in order that
we may be better able to assess and
measure new issues as they appear. The
people of the United States have accepted
the league of nations in principle. This,
therefore, is no time for mystery and
mystification.
Each move that tended to the existing
agreements ought to be revealed and ex
plained. Any other course on the Presi
dent's part will give new grounds for
opposition.
There was too much secrecy at Paris.
Probably it was unavoidable at the time.
But there is no need for secrecy in the
United States.
Mr. WHsonhas yet time to fill the role
that this country expected of him. He
can rftVecl the whole truth. But the time
for" such revelation Is swiftly passing to
the jjanger pf the whole .'treaty', The
-A ' jirS . -ullf-'it V
mentfl .now. It may not accept them
later on after further weary quibbling
in Washington.
If the Scnnte fears to hear the truth
directly from his own lips it is the Presi
dent's duty to force the truth upon it
through his spokesmen.
After that he can talk to the country.
NEIGHBORS IN NEW JOURNALISM
rpi.E four days' old PunLiC Li
sold in London on Sunday wc
..EDGERS
iiy were an
index of the modern transnortntion
miracle pel formed by the R-34 and of
something else. They leprcsented the
inaugural step in n movement of pro
found hearing on the maintenance, of
peace and international understanding. ,
Back in 1815 British and American
soldiers slew each other pn the battle
field of New Orleans, although commis
sioners of both belligerents had signed,
the peace treaty nt Ghent nearly a month
before. The cable and wireless have ic
moved the possibility of such tragic mis
understandings, but their power to im
plant the spiiit of neighborliness pales
befoie that of the Intel change of vir
tually contemporary newspnpris.
Lou! Northcliffe in June foiecast the
sale of London morning journals in
Amei ica on the evening of their date of
issue, of London evening journals on the
dav after and vice versn. Judging from
the Public Ledger's perfoimnnco, his
statement was less a piopheey than a dis
cerning announcement. The Philadel
phia!! v ho sought a home paper from a
news-'tand in the British capitaj last
Sunday was not served with stale infor
mation and stale comment. He got
almost the conteniporaiy article.
It is not to be questioned that this new
nihievement in newspaper distribution
marks the beginning of a new era, not
onl.v for journalism, but also for the two
"neighboi" nations in which public opin
ion U so dominant a factor in tiue prog
iess. THE WOMEN MUST HELP
nMlE invitation to women to participate
in the approaching city campaign
did not end with Thomas Raelnu-n
White's leqiiest to Mrs. Edwanl Biddle,
of the Civic Club, to sit on the Commit
tee of One Hundred. Othei women will
sit on the committee.
This is as it should be. Women aie in
tensely concc! ncd in changing conditions
under the new charter. The streets'have
not been ptoperly cleaned, the garbage
has not been collected with leguhmty,
the satntaiy conditions in the districts
occupied by the poor are deploiable.
Women have been intt'iesting themselves
in these matters f'or several years, and
their inteiest has become acute within
lecent months.
These conditions must be impioved nnd
men must be elected to office pledged to
improve them. Nothing will make the
election of such men suier than the or
ganized demand of the women. Unless
signs aie untrue, the women will organ
ize for a cleaner city, and thev will throw
th(,h. iMfluencp jn fnvor of t,u candidlUes
w)lf) cnn be tllj)te(1 wlth the job
THE POLITICAL WHIRLIGIG
UR isolation." declared the Piesi-
dent, "ended twenty-one years
ago.'' It was then legarded, he main
tained, as a sinistei and ominous thing
by the statesmen of more than one
Euiopean chnncelleiy that we should
have -extended our power beyond the
confines of our continental dominions.
All the critics, howevei, were not in
Euiope. It was the President's own
party which was the bitterest opponent
of American expansion. Courageous ac
ceptance of wider responsibilities after
the Spanish War wa championed by Re
publican leadeis who catried out their
platfoim.
The swing of the political weathercock
is extreme. In standing for an adult
America the partisan Democracy of the
present repudiates its ancestry. Paiti
san Republicanism similarly rejects its
traditions wheievei it upholds hermitism
today. The whole shifting scene is rich
soil for the ironist.
Happily, the public, mind aveiages a
good percentage of clarity on vital sub
jects, while politicians move in a pestifer
ous way their blundeis to peiform.
While vc are tl.iiil.iijg
of the Imiops of the
war we slinulil not for
llrioes line at
llolini
get tin mci.ilinrs of thp
file ilepaitiiieiil. who nk their lives every
da, with now ami then such a catastrophe
us that of Satunl.'n
Some statistician in
.lust risuics Wi.-hiiiKtuii is telling
the funnels thut they
waste nlmin one lni!irl out of every forty
live bushels nf wheat thev raise, nnd is ailing
on them to -.ive every grain. The inun who
made tlue Heine-, never lived on a farm in
the I!ast. vvheie the iliiikeus grow fut in
the linivc-t field ever.v jtiir.
Thut was indeed an il
Tlie Sun Dial himiiiatinr veto vvhiih
Out moiled the President attached
tp the agricultural ap
propriation lull lontaiuit.E the foolish duy-light-suvin(t
lepeal. The failure of the
Iloiibe to override the executive opposition
now happily assures the amendment of fail
ure. The superiorly of the clock over the
sun dial is thus reaffirmed.
And King fienrge
I.tMKiF.ii for hieakfnst.
got his I'i'bui;
The Hth of July in Paris was not only
a fete of ietorj. It was a victory of fate.
So far us the Peace Conference is con
cerned. Secretary Lansing Is off to upend his
vaentiou ip A'lut'rlcu.
The fitness of Prof. II. V. Schuppelle to
tench the young idea how to nhoot is thor
oughly attested by the accuracy of his aim.
If straw votes show how the political
wind blows, Franklin Spencer Edmonds
should make hay.
It will be a cold day when Article X or
auy other article can freeze the world into
immutability. Pears of league opponents in
this particular are wholly groundless.
AVe have had the Income tax, the luxury
tax, the amusement tax and numberless other
taxs; and now tl.erday npproacl.es when our
nBJionel lisla(rs wll set down to brass
B?0DW ?' wpi gwaowtt to brass
POTATOES AND POLITICS
Political Leaders Who Are Farmers
In Their Off Hours Coles, Scott,
Johnson and Some Others In
the Game
Hy (ilC()l(;i: NOX MrCAIN
"nUUV of the thounnds of Philadelpliians
who nre members of the Town Meeting
pnrtj nre uvuire of the fact that their ehnlr
liinn, (icoige W. Coles, reformer, member
of the bar nnd political leader, i likewise
a farmer. That is, he Is n farmer during
the funning season, Svhich in this latitude
runs from .May to October. More than that,
lie is u successful furmcr, and he is justly
proud of the fact.
Parmer Coles has the finest gauleii in
his neighborhood, and he lives in the midst
of fine fauns. He follows the tradition nf
the soil. Me iics. when enacting the role
nt his .Montgomery countj country place,
at tl in the morning and Is out in his gar
den manipulating the line or puh-plovv cul
tivator long l.efiue the other members of his
fnmilj have iliiveu the mists of slumber
fioin their e.v es.
And it is no make-believe garden either
one of thes" foiir-hy-live plots, containing
siv onions, three carrots and n stalk of
piirslej. the spoit of the cartoonist nnd the
l.ohh.v of the commuter. There's nearly half
in. acie in his truck patch alone.
Chairman Coles also rni'-cs wheat, r.ve.
nuti nnd timothj : likewise chickens and
Pekiu ducks on his faun. It isn't a fad
with him It is u pleasure which is not
only conducive to his good health, but
likewise - profitable.
The latter fact is proof that he is not
an "ngiiciiltiirnlist." The 'agriculturalist"
pn.v fin the privilege of fanning. The farm
er fin ins for profit.
TWTttST .tntcMiiin. political
"J- cording to Ilenshnw, (!a
I Icuilci ,intl. iic-
ng to Ilenshnw, (iabonau nnd other
famous novelists, detectives love the soil and
seek every opportunity to get bark to it.
flladstone at Hawnrden, Tiisinnrck nt I.nuen
huig and a list of other famous n nines might
lie cited of those who sought refuge from
political cares nnd distractions in the quiet
of the count i, v .
line da.v last week Senator I'dwin S. Vnre
and Cit.v Chain.. an Uanslej jnurt.ejed up to
Iluiri-d.uig to see the (ioveinoi It was
their lust opporttinilj for a final talk hefoie
Cove. nor Hproul named his famous board of
legistrjtiou comuiissioneis. Senator Pen
ioe had nliead.v gone over the situation at
the executive mansion. It was u iritical
tune for the gentleman fioin South I'hlla
ilelphiu and his political interests
The interview tei minuted about I .."!' The
senator and the sheriff hurried nwnv to the
hotel, snatched u bit of lunch nnd then
lushed to the train for Philadelphia' Not
a bit of it :
Thej piled into n big high powcied nnto
mobile nnd went teaiing down the Ilurris
bmg and Lebanon pike to Hershev . Here
ut one of the great burns on the beautiful
estate the alighted. Inside were 1G0 odd
calves, highlj bred and highl.v priced. Ken
ator Vare had cariied Ituusle,v nil that dis
tance to show him. not the attractions of
the domain of Hcrshey or the wonders of
its luudseape architectuie, but a snow-white
bull enlf-vith black ears, which on a previ
ous visit had struck the fancj of the senator.
"I wanted Harrj to see that calf." said
Senator Vnre. explaining his lenson for the
fljing trip. "I hud one like it once, and
Cm going to buj this one for mj farm. It's
one of the prettiest animals of its kind
I've ever.v seen, nlthough there were a lot
of other beauties on the place."
The strikiug phase of the incident is that
this man, whose whole interests ure wrapped
up in the fight he is making in Philadelphia,
nppuiciitl forgets it nil when his active
mind level ts to his farm am! minor matters
peituining to it.
Which leads to the sapient lonclusioii
that, aftei all. politics is but a game.
D
P.PPTY Al'DlTOH (in.NEHAI. Charles
Johnson is another of the ilun who is u
fanner ad interim and a political leader bj
pirference.
"Chailie" is a good deal of a Pooh Ilah
when it mines to business outside his politi
cal aitivities. He is inteiested in n news
paper, is diuctor of a bank or two. in.
in-iiiui.ee broker, a state official at Hniris
burjr. and when he finishes with all these he
drives out the Germantown pike to a beau
tiful home on the eiovvu of a hill above
Hickory town.
.lohi.son has had a long, gradual i ise in
politics. He started at the bottom as u
ilcrk in one of the "Row" offices in Norris
tovvu. was deputy sheriff, later on resident
clerk of the House, then insurance commis
sioner and now deputy auditor general. To
this list of political dignities must be added
that of duector of Republican polities in
Mnntgoinerv lo.intv.
Hut polities is never permitted to interfere
with the ordeily pioeess of affairs on his
farm.
Last spiiug theie was an important con
fluence to be held in Norristovvn. In a
wnj it had a bearing upon his political
inteiest. All arrangements were made and
the hour set. after which Mr. Johnson was
notified. It is well to understand that John
son belongs to that brand of politicians who
never lose their temper. That is, not
visibly so.
"Wh.v didn't you let me know about this
before von li'-.eil the day'?" he Inquired with
a bland chill in his tone.
"It will be impossible for me to be there,"
he (V'tiuueilj "we'ie planting potatoes on
the farm and I have got to be on hand.
If I'd kuown of jour plans in advance I
could have arranged my nffairs to suit.
You'll have to go ahead without me, for the
work on the fnnn can't be neglected for
anvtbing."
Potatoes in this instance had precedence
over politics. The deputy auditor general,
however, was induced to nppear for half au
hour. Thirty minutes from the time he ar
rived nt the conference he vas out and on
his way back to his potato planting.
TIIH late Governor Pennj packer was a
successful farmer. He maintained his
farms nt Pennj packer's Mills under n high
state of cultivation. He once told me that
lis a business proposition farming required
constant persounl attention and a study of
detail to make it n success. With the
Governor it was a love of the soil once
trodden by his ancestors that held him to
his Perklomen Valley estate.
As a genuine agriculturist, sometimes re
ferred to as a gentleman fanner, but popu
larly understood by the horny. handed till
ers of the earth as one who farmu for plea
sure and not for profit, there is John R. K.
Scott, member of the bar, legal adviser to
the Varc Republican organization in Phila
delphia, mid piissessor of the most compre
hensive vocabulary of descriptive adjectives
east of the Mississippi.
His is another case of the "back to the
sfarm" tendency of many public men. Some-
where among the, banks and braes and
heathered slopes of Scotland John It. K,
Scott's anees.ors must hsve been lairds
of the t50" 'or fenerations to have trans-
HoA to this latest ot tk.!r. clanTtMifc-,
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THE CHAFFING DISH
A Confession
SOMi: of our clients, with that eager and
quixotic enthusiasm which is so pleasing
to contemplate, have asked us vvh it was
that we negluted the unparalleled oppor
tunity to send a few copies of the Chuffing
Dish over on the R-IW to cheer up King
Ceorge nt his dreary tasks and enliven the
existence of Fleet street.
Of ionise the thought occurred to us. and
we are a little embariassed to have to con
fess just whj it was that the plan fell
through. We had prepared n file of hist
week's issues of the Dish, laiefullj wrapped
in oiled silk, with copious notes attached
containing such explanations ns we thought
King Ceorge und Lord Stnmfordliam might
nu'd to make it possible for them to enjoy
all the references contained in the Dish.
This little parcel, correctly addressed to our
London lorrespoudeiit, was in complete
readiness to be handed to Commander Scott,
of the It-:il, and, in fait. Commander Scott
hung around some tune waiting for it.
Wh.v. then, is the natuial question, was
it not delivered?
The fact is (and heie begins our emhai -rassment)
we stiuck a snag in composing
the letter which was to go with the parcel;
so serious a snug thut we were unable to de
ride what to do, and although Commander
Scott most generously offered to keep his
ship waiting about until the Dishes were
ready for him. we felt it ncccs-.ary to tell
him to go ofT without them.
The letter, in behalf of American colyuni
ists in general, was addressed to the editor
of Punth. and this was how it begun :
Dear lalitor .
I take this opportunity of Sepdli.5 cui
my friendly greetings on tills great event
In the relations of our two nations. Jloie
than ever we bhall have to be careful what
we sa r.liout iach other In your countr
and nilne, now that we are assured thai
our wolds will be rend so piomptly. It
Is a grave thought that ery tlnm a mis
print occurs in The Chalflng Dish It will be
read on Fleet street within four days. Hut.
at that, the editors of our serious Journals
have made hasto to follcltato mutually,
why Indeed Bhould wo be backward to con
gratulate one with another?
Space, as many of our leading writes
have not hesitated to assert, lias now been
annihilated. No one now thinks any n.oie
of spacu than the mutineers on Treasure
Island thought of Den Gunn. The as
tounding developments of the past weeks
have made both of us, you nnd I. marvel.
Who do you think It Is. indeed, whom
Hlslorj will point to as the man who won
the war?
Wc got ns far as flint when doubts as
sailed us. It would be a grave thing to Initi
ate a new era tfor wc were assured that we
weie so doiug) with u error in syntax. We
begun to ponder, AVe didn't think any too
well of our sentence about lien (3uun. In
deed, we hud had trouble with it before. And
that sentence. The atiounding developments,
etc., have made you and I marvel was it
correct? Shouldn't it bo jou and me iar
rclf We turned to Mr. Joseph Conrad, said
to be the greatest living writer of English,
for counsel. On page 7ti of his latest novel
we found : ,
TVie wiu-aid casf in the eyes of Mills made
im loth, ISlunt mid 7, fwn found.
We concluded, therefore, that this sentence
ot ours wos O. K. AVe went on to have
another look at the next one :
Who do you think it is ichom histay teill
point to as the man cho tcon the tcart
We submitted that sentence to the Quiz
editor. He said It should be Whom do you
think it in tcho history teill point tat
We turned to another fcoothsayer, who
cried furiously that it should be Which do
you think it i icAo history tcill point to as
the man ichom won the tcarT
Tho office boy, who has a nice instinct in.
these perplexities, averred it Bhould go thus :
Whoni" do you think it it ichloh history
irill point to at the man what iron the tfnrf
Hy this time we werp getting grievously
confused. We tried It this way :
Whom io Vou 'nfc " f whom history
will coin to at the niBit trnom tcon the tcart
XTTMR ' W.WW)I,?
"AT YOUR SERVICE, SIR!"
ffi - i!i' '
While we were fuming over these matters
the time cume for the R'::M to snil. Rather
than run any danger of having the editor
of Punch think the Chnfiing Dish is at all
uncertain about its whos und whoms we
determined to he a good sport. Wo didn't
think it was fair to keep the R-3t hanging
around indetiuitel.v while we wrestled with
pionouns. In n high slate of excitement we.
sent u wiie to the gullant uirmnu. We said:
"Don't wait on us any longer. Sorry to
disappoint King ticoige, but can't be
helped."
Then we realized that in our hurry we
had committed the vvoist of nil errors in
that telegram. We had said "wait on"
when we meant "wait for." We only hope
lie won't show it to the king.
Desk Mottoes
To wash in one of Ciod's llvtis to tne
ok.i air seems to ine u sou ot cheerful
(olemiilt) or semi-pagan act of worship
To tlal.bte umong dishes In a beilroom may
pel haps make clean the body ; but the
Imagination takes no sharo in such a
cleansing-
koui:ht louis sthvenkon.
Just now the thing that (.eenis to bother
Senator Iloriih is Shantung. J?ut let no
L one take that too grimly, lie s only trying
to mark time while Lurry Sherman bus a
breathing spucc to think up another argu
ment nguinst the league. This is the way
the schedule of arguments runs novvadnjs:
Mondays Treaty is pro-Japanese.
Tuesdays Treaty is pro-German.
HYdnc.siy Tieaty embroils L S. in
foieign problem.
Thtimdays Treaty lenves I'. S. isolated
and unfriended.
Fridas Treaty is too vo'giic.
Saturdays Treaty is too rigid.
Sundays Breathing spell to think up some
new ones.
We are a peaceable soul, opposed to blood
shed, and, therefore, we counsel Mr. Walker
D. Hines to keep nway from Fierceforest.
Those who go down to that agreeable belt
of snndsurf on Saturday mornings were wont
to lake the l):t" from Camden, a pleasant
train which wc have eulogized before. Hut
Mr. Hines, for some inscrutable reason, bus
taken this train off, substituting a 0:rt."i from
Hioad street. This not only deprives oue
of n pleasant ride over on the ferry, but also
(more to the point) costs $1.43 a round trip
instead of !?.'i.78. As tills means thirteen
rounds fewer hot dogs over the week-end it
is no smiling mutter, if Mr. Hines should
show himself in Fierceforest it is our eon'
victiou be wonld be rent limb from limb.
It must be u painful shock to any elderly
citizen when the papers begin to call him
"seventy years young," or whatever his
number of years may be. He knows then
that he is really getting old.
The I'rchin struck off a good one the
other day. Ho was eating some ice cream
with great enjoyment and paused n moment
to give his thoughts accurate expression.
Finally he said: "I like ice cream. It
makes my tongue, happy,"
Literary Notes
We have not reud Mrs. Rinehurt's new
novel, "Duugerous Days," but we are ap
prised that there is a minor clcrgjman in it
called Mr. Haverford.
We think that Mrs, Rinehart bus done
the Main Line an injustice. We maintain
that Mr. Haverford ls an inappropriate name
for a minor cleric, or even for a major cleric.
The name suggests Borne one more like a fox
hunting, cricket-flanneled squire; somo one
who spent bis early jouth swimming in
Darby creek and laying pennjes on the
1 II. II. railroad track to 'see' the engine
'flatten them out; his middle manhood in
smilfing a raiut-busliccl frosted glass on tho
veranda of the Merlon Cricket Club.
If vye had vyanteu to nnme a parson after
j
U- "S y
ZD
THINGS
SOMETIMES when I am nt tea with you
I catch my breath
At a thought that is old as the world Is old
And more hitter than denth.
It is that the spoon that you just laid down
And the cup Hint ou hold
May be here shining and insolent
When you arc still and cold.
Your careless note that I laid away
May leap to my ejes like llame
When the world has almost forgotten your
voice
Or the sound of jour name.
The golden Virgin Da Vinci drew
May smile on over my head
And daffodils nod in the silver vase
When you nre dead.
So let moth and dust corrupt ami thieve
Break thiough and I shall bo glad
Because ot the hatied I bear to things
Instead of the love I had.
For life seems only a shuddering breath,
A Ninotheriu desperate cry,
And things have a terrible permanence
When people die.
Aline Kilmer, in the Bookman',
The king of Ruinnnin is informally ad
vertising for a wife for his heir. He could
not do better than come to America, where,
there nre queens aplenty.
A jam salesman is advertising that he.
wants a job. Why does he not apply to tho
opponents of the league of nations, who ara
trying to market the largest nnd nlost varied
assortment of yarns ever exhibited to an In
different public?
What Do You Know?
QUIZ
1. Jn how many hours did the R-Si make
the return trip to England?
2. What is the literal meaning of nmcu?
:;. What victories does the Arc de Triomphs
in Paris commemorate?
1. Who is the heir to the Italian throne?
3. What state is Senator Svvanson from? .
C. What state has the largest representation
in Congress, including both senator
nnd representatives, and what is tbs
total of its delegates?
7. What arc the Romance languages?
S. Who is governor of Massachusetts?
1). When was the battle of the Boyne
fought?
10. What is an ophiclelde?
Answers to Yesterday's Quiz
1. Jean Antoine Houdon wos the sculptor
of tho famous statue of Washington
which is generally regarded a.s best
combining fidelity of portraiture with
artistic merit.
'1. The work ifi now in Richmond, Va.
3. Amortization in finnucc means to extin
guish a debt, usually by a sinking fund.
4, Columbus died in the city of Valladolld,
Spain.
,". Tradition ascribes to Nnthan Hale tha
expressed regret that he had hut ono
life to Ipso for his country,
G. Au amice1 is a cap, hood or caps o(
religious orders; also a badge worn by
French canons on the left arm.
7. The chief American-controlled cable Una
" runs from California to the Philippine
by vvuy of Hawaii and Midway island.
8. A chafing dish Is so called by, associa
tion wiiii ine oosoievo sense 01 lap word t '
cnaie, tp warm.
0. (Irafllti arc drawings or writings scratch-. n
ed on walls, etc., especially on ancient
walls, as Pompeii ; also decorntlbns by
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