? 5$-5 !p - '"'. . i f - U s is. ftly . Bnv. ' ftt &' '! li THEEVENING TELEGRAPH .rUBLIC LEDGER COMPANY nrmi.n tr. tr. r?mirTM riinBv .Chart' Cbrlt H. tiudlnnon. Vice rreldfntt John C. "'..n?!" n1 Treasurer: Fhiup s couina. tvunams. jonn j. ppurreon. lirrecmrs. !" . . '1. EDITORIAL, DOAnD- i " J, A,. CTanft 11. K. Ctnms. Chairman 'VID B. 81IILET Editor , JOHN a MA1VTIN General Business Manager S" Published dally at Pdblio ehed dally ml PnnLln T.Knnta TttilMlno'. j-i Independence Square. l'hlladetnhla, 4 WtT.tTlcj ClTI....... Prraf Union rilltldln 'Jrin Yoik..., ,.500 Metropolitan Tower ... uintoiT. , , .in Kord Hiiiminc vt. Loots 1008 rullerton Itulldlnc Cmoioo... 1302 Tribune Uulldinc 0fttMtcIfedgtr Wff- WiSBHWTOI Btjaain. r1. ?? N. B. Cor. Pennsylvania Axe. and 14th fit. Nw Toik nnitiun. , The Sim llulldlnit .LnifDON DDII1D. .. . .1. .. . LnndAit TfmM TUfJ ?A TLlIr fcThe Etbnivo PlIBlla Lennn la aened to sub- SPWm15" in rnilnnflphift nnd surrounding townt ?At the rate of twche (12) cents per week, payable WTtfto th carrier. 1 A Br mall to points outMd of rht1aVlrhta, In i WW ,vttii TlnltiK". HtatM. CannrlA or ITnltrl StatM nn XW ifaalntu, potnro free, fifty (V) rnti pr month l. t-i iv, inii 11 f.A To all forelcn countries one ($1) dollar pr :l mi nui no am ner vmt. navaniA in nmanrp r mKJ "" Not re n Subscribers wlhlnc address chanted ft if ibubi isivw oia as wen as nrw nuurrss. !.. urn., iihia tTArviiT rrysmsr it.i inna & n ' l-II ft-A Jffc T- L . j EaT j4ridrej all communtcaffona to Fitning Public r. Ledger, Independence Sqvare, FhiladclpMa Member of the Associated Press Sj c ?.af.. i;ij i. .&. ... j..- ..n..i.7i'i.flj!.u .. iriro ; .Mi..fi.ri. i i-n p.... . frrt j 0 nfJ ncicj dtipatchrs emitted (o iV or o( otherwise credited in thii paper, and alto ' the local nCMM published therein. AH rights nf republication of special dis ' patches errin are also rrtn led. rhiMtlphU, Tucid.r. June 3. 1919 TOO MODEST TO PARADE TUTAYOR SMITH never more satisfac ' torily represented the people of this city than when he said that Philadelphia stands ready and willing to welcome the men of the Seventy-ninth Division. ' All of us must i egret that they have decided not to permit us to show our admiration for them in a body. They are more anxious to get home than to listen to an applauding multitude. The division was made up of drafted men, those who had had no picvious o .perience in military life. It would hae been gratifying to have seen what drill and discipline had done for them in a physical way. And it would have been thrilling to look upon the men of the "..same kind as those who work next to us in the office and in the shop after thev had passed through the fires of war and had their temper tested. But their modesty is peculiaily Amen-,-can. They have done their woik and come home. They want to get back into civilian harness as quickly aq possible without any fuss. So, although we can't see them march, we can bid them all heartily welcome home and giatefully ece that they get jobs. POGROMS AND PADEREWSKI GRAVELY' impressive were the spec TJlMoc nf nrntoat nnrl rtinnrnintv cfirrofl $,? hy the Jewish citizens of this and other (pwj.cties In this country yesterday and last IS- n'8ht concerning fhe reported killing of Ban,, veir Dretnren in .Poland. Mo onloouer JtT'p wiiiiiiuiu hympainy ior a oemon- ifpSSv .. .- ..U ....,,,.. U UJ OUV... Cvident depths of feeling. k' T .1 .... t " lne lacts are as reported, the new E"C T1..1 1 i.. i i , j-" i """ "iirauj iraa a neavy cnarge to fer answer to the rest of the world. For- W tunately, the way to ascertainment of the facts seems opened wide by the letter At PvAMIAl. Dnil.ni.iiia1.! A TT-1 L TT v """" iaucicM io nerDen itoo- r ver suggesting that President Wilson unaertaKe the appointment and direc tion of a commission to investigate, and promising full and condign punishment for the guilty. As the premier points out, theie is ODDOrtunitv fnr misrpnwcoTitnf 1mm nf Urt fcUi r tnith, since it has been a work of gieat ."difficulty to get dispatches out of Poland t wiuioui garDiing or distortion. M tne execution of depiaved Bol- RrievistA wTin linnnonorl ka Tn...n 1 wVtbeen reDorted uniuRtlv n n olniirv.f. f ft i innocent Jewish people, which Mr. Pader- p ewski implies, the facts should bear proof Hi?-.. rnmnrticamn n 4l.n il 1 i ... .. TW&il """ -"' i"t umer nana, u mere Ps1lave been horrible orgies of blood in ;'JR?t,,! old Russian way. as the Jewish peo 5ivple in this country believe, the same Jis&x.. method of nroof annlip.x. rtnf ti,o .... 'fury of wor,d oP'n'on must be given the EJ1"-H,.""U'UUI' iiiimrance. ine issue is tT tSK. fUl imnnrfanf r U u-..l f f y it ,, "i"- "c pmutnerea ior W5polie'! sake' and nothing less than the fct&exct truth and the whoIe trth will to-atisfy. p ' ' i wnpvpmc .lli 1. ....1 J r. !. an me iur snorter &5J-J ' nours fatter pay envelope ot removal '.;. of a grievance is ordinarily as unaues- ."iv .,Uoned as thl! r'8ht of an individual to '' v probe 'for a splinter back of his finger b-' nAll. Rllf in ni nnnr. -1 ft . j. ,r- - ' luic anouia oe . siuRcii io avoia injection. V "-" " mnus Keim waits for W"h. an onen wound, bo hnlshoviem ,:. yiSi induatnal unrest. Bolshevism, emboldened by the chaos In Russia, has bier nlnne nf.i mi ., , . 1.-"- '"ui. iney , i;icamc near bearing fruit in Seattle. They J.it ?bave bpen rtpnrpr siir.foea ;H xir. ' . ".oo in trinnipeg, y .Canada. p b 1 '.Winnipeg's strike is now in its fourth , week. Originally a strike of metal 9nj f ibuildintr trades. i anrno.l ,,nn. :t . , lin3-. j'ii '".IT." '-."-ecreu ' Jil: ., puuuc service bodies. srv-1?1 strike committee is virtually a tf ;il?v-let Methodist Preacher, editor of JM Labor Newai censors every bit of -tews that leaves the town. His is the wiy newspaper permuted to be pub Ulhed. He denies the existence of a ,$V ? s first assigtant is an -if;; That, the strike is more or less frankly jivelutionary Is evidenced by the nleas , .- sympathetic strikes throughout Wma& from the Atlantic to the Pacific 4urai. nave met With varying suc iV But the tru6 inwardness of the ig-union' movement is seen in e.sent by Canadian lahnr inn. imuel Gomoers. m-esidpnt t. 'SpAn Fpiprnfinn nt T.qnnM JM. j :i Vm t trade unions in this country be ; . iWmut out to heln th nrrilV- ."W .course, the Canadian labor leaders ' " fuijj.nnui umi. uuilljivrs would 'ooliiih enough to call such a strike, or, ..u were issueu, rnat me thrp 9.... M II I jKtn in mis cpuntry would rise to th& bait, but there was method in their madness. The American Fcdera tion of Labor holds its nnnual convention in Atlantic City next week. It would mightily rejoice the I. W. W. If they could cause a split in tho organization and put a radical in tho saddle. A split "bf any kind would be helpful to them! These be parlous times and it behooves all men who work, and that means most of us, to be careful and to keep cool. Bolshevism isn't overlooking any bets. HISTORY WROTE THE TERMS OF THE AUSTRIAN TREATY Break-Up of the Old Empire Renders St. Germain Document Largely a Recognition of Epochal and Accomplished Facts JUDGMENT on the terms of the treaty delivered to the Austrian commission ers is significantly dependent on tho extent with which medievalism or frank acknowledgment of existent facts colors political thought. The Viennese delegate who the other day accused the Entente powers of dig ging his nation's grave at St. Germain-en-Laye expressed himself in nntique formulas. However sincere his depres sion may have been, it was patently un responsive to the real causes of the fall of what was once the second largest coun tiy in Europe. For it is not the treaty or the "haish ness" of Allied diplomacy which is re sponsible for the shrinkage of the Aus tiian domain. "Sentence first, veidict afterward" is the lemarkable order of events, and the document, which passes upon the Austrian chapter of the war, is to a potent degtee an official recognition of a status quo. In this respect it pie scnts an exact contiast to the voluminous book of surrender now in German hands. The validity of the latter document will bo convincing when the signatures arc formally affixed to the dotted lines. The German treaty is in the nature of a monumental plan for the futuie. The seveiest poitions of this latest diplomatic paper lecoid a senes of heroic happen ings to which definite dates may be already assigned. Autiia had become one of the smaller nations of Euiope before her lcpiesen tatives boatded the train for St. Gei main No fiat was necessaiy to empha sise the leahty of the independent states of Hungary, Czecho-Slovakia and the Serb-Croat-Slovene state. Disruption of the lumbering old Hapsburg empire had come at last of its own weight. Natuially, a disastrous war hastened the disintegiation, but in any event it was inevitable. The artificial lealm was born of weakness. Fifty-two jears ago Fiancis Joseph, staggeiing fiom the blow delivered by Prussia in 1866, had pieced together ele ments of wreckage and those of vigoi ous young life into a hdge-podge that became a notoiious national sham. From its inception the fall of the Austro Hungarian empire was persistently foieeast. Postponement of the inevitable was achieved through a systematic couise of dynastic oppiession. It was the imperial house which was the only tangible symbol of an anomaly among the nations. It was a dynasty the same despicable one which stiuck the spark which set the wot Id ablaze. The Austro-Hungaiian nation, maintained thtough the pressure of militarism, has always been without inherent authenticity. It is fitting there fore that no such mockery should be con sidered in the present instance. The instinct for lealities, however, dic tates that peoples dwelling in the former archduchy of Austria and in the foimer crownlands of Upper and Lower Austiia be summoned to the bar of justice in set tlement of the vvoild shambles. The four or five million bona flde Austrians constituted a Germany in little. Their sympathies and policies were fervently akin to those of their powerful ally. To day they, too, compiise a new national entity calling itself a lepublic. It is proper that this country should be held accountable foi its detestable offenses against civilization. It is also in accord with the avowed piinciples of the peace that the homogeneous Austria be given "a chance for existence and an oppoitunity to redeem its unsavory name. The treaty considers the case in both these aspects. The lepublic of Austria is to make just leparations in proportion to her ability to pay. Annulment of the preposteious Biest-Litovsk treaty and all others with Russia since the Bol shevist i evolution in November, 1917, is decreed. In this, as in all matters not directly concerned with her armed estab lishments oi with respect to countries not touching her present or former boundaries, or Regarding the league of nations, the treaty of St. Germain-en-Laye is similar to the treaty of Ver sailles, but the points of lesemblance go but little further. The authentic Austria is and ever has been since Charlemagne established the "Ostmark" (East Region) in 709 with out a seacoast. If only in its intolerance of n paradox, the commanded surrender of the entire Austrian navy is patently warrantable. Equally obvious is the com mon sense of the ban against further naval construction, including submarines. Specific demand is made that Austria accept all and any arrangements which the Entente may make concerning Schleswig-Holstein and the abrogation of the treaty of lb4. The trial of criminal officials is authorized in a clause resem bling the one now in Count Brockdorff Rantzau's hands, save that, of course, William Hohenzollern is exempt from mention. But the characteristic importance of the Austrian treaty relates notso much to these now familiar judgments as to the epoch-making boundary decisions. As has been implied, in numerous instances the commissioners have, been relieved of their labor. History has been fixing frontiers at a busy rate since the Austro Hun'garlan empire collapsed on the Piave. The three new nations which have' arisen, and the complete independence of which will receive the acknowledgment of Austria when she signs the treaty, have in n general way determined the' extent of tho domain of which Vienna is tho capital. What is left after Czecho slovakia, Hungary and tho Scrb-Croat-Slovcno state nro Indorsed as entities is Austria if tho Italian tanglt. be for tho moment disregarded. The weak feature of the treaty Is oddly combined with a factor of strength. Probably no International document ever framed left the adjudication of so many intricate boundary details to commis sions and court processes. It is impossible therefore at this mo ment to plan for tho series of frontier posts around the now Ausjria. The Italian situation, involving Fiume, is left unsolved, subject to the verdict of the Paris conference. Austria herself with one delegate, the three new repub lics with one representative and the Allied powers with five nro to determine with field commissions tho various de finitive lines. It would have been satisfying, of course, if these complexities could have been fairly and finally settled in the treaty; but, on the other hand, the life of the Austrian republic .could not, per haps, have brooked the delay. It is the v irtue of this treaty, otherwise censurable because of its avoidance of certain finali ties, that it 'permits an Austria one in which, moreover, religious, racial and language freedom must be guaranteed to function as a nation once the requisite signatures are attached. Doubtless there will be melodramatic wailing over the "insignificance" of the new Austria, a small country "over weighted" with the great city of Vienna. In estimating their value it is well to lemembcr prosperous inland Switzerland and Denmark, proud of its Copenhagen and a highly civilized, progressive na tion. The republic of Austria has an equal opportunity, with industrial and agiicultural development substituted for seaborne commeice, if she .realizes that her sole salvation lies in signing the treaty. CENSORING TERPSICHORE TT IS mighty tough on a stout gentle- man of easy disposition to be sternly and suddenly made dance censor. What weird concatenation of fortuitous circumstances foiced Mayor Smith to run a blue pencil through the lilting lhythmic line, "On with the dancel Let joy be unconfined"? What more joyous occupation for a stout gentleman than to sit in a shady nook and watch the graceful dancers flit to and fro? Instead of which he is forced not only to curb the joyous abandon of youth, but to abolish the shady nook, since sitting out a dance becomes a kind of crime. The legislators who passed this law surely had no sense of humor! WAR POWERS END WITH WAR fTUIE decision of the Supreme Couit in the lailioad and telephone and tele graph rate cases validates the power of the central government in time of war to enter the states and make latcs there as well as lates between the states. No other decision was possible unless the ability of the government to control the affairs of the nation in time of war weie to be obstructed. But it should be kept in mind that as soon as the war is over this power ceases. The return of the telegraph and telephone lines to their owners has had the same effect as the signing of the peace treaty. The increased wire rates within the states become at once subject to review by the state authorities. If they are ex orbitant they can be reduced, for the states once more begin to function. FIRST WORLD'S AIR FAIR "CH'IDENCE of the imminence if not -'-' the actual return of peace is con tained in the announcement that an In ternational Aeronautical Exposition is to be held in Amsterdam during July and August. Added interest is given to the affair by the fact that the war gave mighty impetus to the new industiy, the progress of which is to be exploited and celebrated. The Netliti lands legation at Washing ton notified the Philadelphia Bourse of the coming exhibition and the Bourse in turn has communicated with the Aero Engineers' Club and the Manufacturers Club. The presence here of the United States navy plane plant at League Island and the fact that many of our citizens are expert both in aviation and plane con struction make the coming event one of lively interest to Philadelphia. Stnndlug on the bauks J)arn Them There nf tjie Yet-to-He, the Skeeters! tribe of I r i n e'e s s Standing Water is ready for an attack on the Philadelphia stronghold. General Kruben is prepared to annihilate the enemy, but he cannot hope to succeed unless lie receives re-enforcements from General Public. It is a fact proved by previous engagements tlint preliminary (aids on the old oaken bucket, the tin dip per, the fiovver-pot saucer and the discarded tomato can may do away with tile necessity for a mass engagement. Let the raiders get busy at once. Advices from Cincin Sucliers and uati, where retail con- Suckers fectioners are in con ference, tell of the growing popularity of the nil-day sucker. The Bibulous One says this evidently refers to the man who, with alcohol banned, turns to its substitute, candy, only to tind it sail ing skyward in price. The nev Itlilneland Ersatz republic has dealt a severe blow to Ger many. It Is not, however, a case of diamond cut diamond, hut one of rhinestone cut paste. Doctor Dernburg talks Query much of the honor of the German natiou. Is It the brand with which he made us famlllur during, the war? The fruit qf Sunday work against Sun day play is jet to be gathered. . Balkan minorities may, of couise, hatch out an entirely new batch of troubles under the ttlug of the league of nations, but the leagut nmy be wise old hen enough to knor what to do with theoi. .nt-. WHY WASHINGTON IS BLUE One Part of the Country That Is Per petually Against Everything " Hy HART IIALKV Washington, June 3. "ITTIIEN, peace is finally signed Wash '" Ington wliP-ncccpt it with an air of sad resignation. That Is how the dominant groups of senators, congressmen, secretaries," diplomatists, politicians, lobbyists and muck rakers accept all things night nnd mornlpg, winter nnd summer, Senator Sherman's speeches, Mr. Lodge's egotism, Mr. Pen rose's cryptic humor, Mr. Tumulty's jokes, President Wilson's masterful man ner. Washington opinion Is Influenced by n politically minded transient population gathered from the four quarters of the earth, nnd politicians arc never satisfied. Washington is a victim of its own iso lation. It cultivates introspection as an all-tho-year-round diversion. It tells you proudly that It has no delusions. The rest of the country will judge n President for his war of thinking. Washington will judge him by the persons he nsks to dinner. Those who are not asked to dinner by the Presi dent nnd they nre innumerable arc con vinced thnt the country is fnr gone in politi cal decadence nnd that the democratic form of government is n fnilure. Mr. Wilson dines alone. "VKFICIAL Washington is almost Invarl " nhly ngalnt nn administration. In the dns of Roosevelt it tlinnkcd God for Pen rose In the dojs of Tnft it thanked God for Hooevelt. Now it is thanking God for Lodge, nf Massachusetts. Washington, unlike the rest of the coun trj. knows that Mr. WiNon likes the movies. It lins seen him laugh at a vaudeville show. It can tell you what he has for breakfast when he is at home. It refuses to accept linn us a demigod nnd it refuses to view him even ns nn nblc President becnuse it insists on maintaining an air of superior wisdom. The nations of the earth nnd the dwellers upon land and sea mav jet acclaim Mr. Wilsnn as a prophet and a great statesman. Washington will still be convinced thnt the nations of the earth nnd the dwellers upon, land nnd sea have an appalling shock coming to them, jlTlt. TAFT, for example, had a Ford " limousine n new, shiny Ford limousine, m which he went nbout Washington in perfect content, regretting not at nil the magnificent equipages of his White House dnjs A thief stole it nnd all Washington graved. Had Mr. Tnft suffered such a mis fortune while he was President, official AVnshmgtnn would have said tnrtly that he got wh.it he deserved. Whv Mr. Tnft might have deserved to lose his limousine no one would hnvc been able to snj. Kvery one would have felt instinctively that he de served to lose, it. There arc times when it nppears that everv politician nt Washington resents the pusence nf another man in the White House becnuse of n secret conviction thnt he himself should be living there, honored of men. The fact remains thnt it is only after jou nre out of office or fnr descended fiom glorj that Washington can take a fiieiullv interest in you. I'ticle Joe Cannon, when he was a power in the spenkei's chair, was n constant in citement to the cjnics. They used to say that I'nile Joe proved the danger and the futility ot our political sjstem. They called him CVar Cannon. They made his name a svmbol of reaction and they called Uncle Joe a danger to American institutions. Now Uncle Joe is growing older each day and he is powerful no longei. He docs not even move with the influential groups of the House. And Washington sajs that he is a great man who never wns nppteciatcd by his countrjmen. QO IT will be in Washington with the J President nnd with anj other man who holds an important office, nnd so it will be with nny great work of nnj such man. The politicians and statesmen who crowd the Capitol form an isolated gioup which is too close to the great facts to see them clearly But the saving element in the situation is the influence of t,he busy outside world, which is felt unerringlj in the Senate, iu the House, in nil the departments of gov ernment. Washington knows every morn ing how they nre thinking in Oshkosh, in the prairie country, iu the industrial nreas of the llnst, in New York, in the Far West, in the Mississippi Vallej. It never agrees entireh with the countrj. It feels assured thnt the country U in many wnjs deluded hut it does the country's bidding with an nir of sad lesignation. rpHH Piesldent's visit to Europe was a -'-.great trial to Washington. The ruling groups lefused to believe their ears when thc were told that Mr. Wilson intended to go to I'.iris. What could he do at Paris? What was the man thinking of? The coun try might suppose that Mi. Wilson could influence opinion on the other side, but Washington knew better. Hadn't it seen the President at the movies, and didn't It know where he bought his ties, nnd hadn't it seen him walking on Pennsylvania avenue just like liny other man? When Europe began to shout for the President and accept him ns a deliverer Washington wns convinced that some monstrous mistake was hemg made. Mr. Wilson was not even a politician. He was a schoolmaster. There are senatois who still feel that they could have supplied the key to the puzzle of Hurppe if the other nations had not been too stupid to invite them over. Had senators gone instead of the President to attend the conference Washington would still have been dissatisfied. The senntors who re mained behind would burely have suggested thnt it was the President's duty to go. Hut after he went they felt that a grievoiis mis take was made when Mr. Wilson did not send a flock of senators to Paris. TTTHEN ij is remembered that Washington has been left in almost complete ignorance of the terms of the pence treaty, and thnt all its idiosyncrasies and nil its pet vanities have been totally disregarded, one can begin to understand the pessimism that rules at the Capitol whene'ver peace is men tioned. The terms of the peace treaty have not been made known to the Senate for the simple reason that they are as yet by no means complete. Many of the objectionable and dangerous clauses nud provisos ore being revised out of them, and if the signs of the times count for anything It Is under pressure from Mr. Wilson that such re visions are being made. If Senator Johnson had managed to get the complete text"of the preliminary treuty into print such changes as seem to be neces sary to the future safety of the world might have been far more difficult than they are now. Washington cannot accept5 this view, how ever. It is against the administration, as it has been against every other administra tion. It persists in the role of iuexornble critic. It refus;s to bo satisfied. And thdVigh thin habit of mind makes life dif ficulty for presidents, It is a pretty good thing in the liual .analysis for the country, Washington completely satisfied would never do. AVashington in n perpetual uproar of complaint Is more, likely to have a tonic effect on all statesmen, TSS iV-f A -it &fy - Q"T!.,'? . ,rr" -. jrjii n . & - vm.i . . .a. .'.." jr." tnui )sa ; "tr fv .!.!&?r(I ... " J ''lWttM.l.tMrinfT' THE CHAFFING DISH hjltherto Undiscovered Poem By Walt Whitman No matter what jour problems Or how meagcrly jou sup, There's always, always sugar In the bottom of the cup. ' Your trousers mny need patching, Prickly heat may burn you up, But there's always, always sugar In the bottom of the cup. If you let your troubles settle And refuse to stir them up, You will alwajs find some sugar In the bottom of the cup. One of the genialities of which bank cashiers must weary is that of the man who, cashing a check for $''.7u, askr to have it in fives. One of the most severely annoyed men we have seen recently was a conductor on the Camden trolley the other day, coming bnck from Harleigh, when our guest, Mr. II. AV. Massingham, in the Innocence of a stranger, insisted on clinging to the fare-ringing strap in the center of the car, instead of to the handles provided on the seat-corners. The car was crowded, and it was some time be fore the perplexed conductor could reach the eminent British editor and tear him away from the strap, to which lie' clung with ad mirable and unconscious persistence. As the car lurched along Mr. Massingham swayed with it, and observers estimated that he had rung up hnlf a dozen fares before he' was removed. When it is a question of a tender and appealing sincerity, we vote for Harry I.evenkronc as a candidate for poetic honors! Harry happens to be one of the officeboys in this building, but in the intervals df'hls arduous and exucting career he dashed off the following: Nobody Thinks of the Crew Ships come and ships go, , Nobody ever thinks of the tlred-out crew, As the ship the w ind does blow, But some with kind heart are few. Think of the hardships they went through, To bring jour loved ones home, Yes, they brought them home for you, And then again they must cross the foam. To bring home another load of heroes brave, And In the engine room these lads fight, The flames to bring these boys safe home today And also to bring you delight. , HARRY LEA'ENKRONB. Mary M. writes to us that we made a serious mistake in our recent essay on the Taoli Local in not saying something about the Nurberth Marathon Club. "Have you ever," she asks, "pulled into Narberth and"" not seen some one running for the train?" Our Cradhy Roll Page Alllnson, the Sage of Town's End Farm, AA'est Chester, reports the birth of a nine-pound son yesterday. 'It may be a comfort to the young man in future years to know that he arrived in time to hnve his health drunk by his fond father. Lunching with our friends II. T. 0., T. A. P. and II. L. AY we hofe frequently taken ocension to sueer at the little white vest margins, for which they have a secret leaning. Iu a quiet way we have for many years carried on a persistent campaign against this unnecessary and purely swank ing bit of Persian apparatus. But now ar rived F, S. II. with a modest defense of the vestee (or whatever it is called). He says, with unncedful vehemence, "AA'hy the devil shouldn't we wear white things In our waist' coats? The tailor puts 'em there just as the barber sciiirts on tho bay rum, before you tan Btop him." AVe hold that this Is begging, the question. The barber has one in apposition of cow- -; iii, i. i.i ..i jjyaa. !, i. a. ..... i.j . ... .r ... -Ti-y.t.' y dPFICIALCONFIRMATION, THAT'S AMj x i 1V-3. . .vA. t. -v rfBCjt . .. -r-j?;a .lh i.-' frj?-.'' -l&F Yv .a" ...r--1 .-.- "... "; "' " .-it""' ...ttt t5-" parative helplessness. Moreover, the bay rum, however unsavory, evaporates rapidly and the next morning's tub purifies the vic tim. Hut the white vest piping, once at tached to the garment, is too likely to prove a permanent disfigurement, until (as it did once ou the person of II, T. C.) it becomes a thing of horror to all concerned. The pique vestee Is the Sam Brown belt of civilian life, and we permit none of our contributors to wear it. All contributions submitted must be accompanied by nn affi davit to the effect that you have never sinned in -this manner. A Call for Assistance Dear Socrates I write to ask if you know tiie rest of thnt priceless versiclo which begins I know a humble pavender, A pavender or pub, And there I take my gravender, My gravender or grub Of course the Ions ct origo is the headline in Isaac AValton, "The Chavender or Chub," I saw the thing in a paper some where years ago and didn't notice it very much nt the time, except to smile at the happy theft. But it has turned up many a sleepless night since and the anxiety as to, the missing lines and whether or nri it' ends up, I get my nlg-htly tavender, Mj- tavender or tub, is seriously undermining a not too robust sanity. Help if you can! MOREBT ACKLOM. I used to wonder why bank cashiers were so haughty until I remembered they' are members of the Federal Reserve. DAME QUICKLY. Little Studies in Human Nature It is easy to spot the experienced cafeteria veteran. The first thing he does after nestling into his fiat-armed chair is to drop half ji spoonful of coffee ou the platform. In this he pastes his pay check to prevent It being blown away by the roaring simoon of the electric fans. Desk Mottoes I feel respect for the man and he is one in n hundred who, when he is waiting or sitting unoccupied, refrains from rattling or beating time with anything that happens to be handy his stick, or knife and fork, or whatever else it may be. The probability is hat he is thinking of something. SCHOPENHAUER. Tt is impossible, we aver, to make pal atable cider from apples of discord. Oh, to Be a Cowl To diaturb a cow In the mornlnr bffVre htr' reat la completed means a loaa of mllll. and to diaturb her again In the afternoon mtana a greater loaa. Cows srase through the coot of the forenoona and go and lie down In the ahade In the middle of the day and until 4 o'clock or half, paat In the afternoon, thua belnc able to maatlcate their food ot the mornlns; and to reat In the coolest poaalble placea. after which they of their own accord set up and feed axaln. From a Letter to Our Favorite Morning Paper. Numerous 'statesmen are now lamenting that they did not heetUtbo AVET PAINT signs that Lenlne and Trotsky erected vvhen they gave Russia her coat of red lead. Pun Money Dear Bocrales Do you pay for merry puns? I often wake up at night with the most entertaining quips in my mind, and as my husband spends most of his wages for tobacco I thought I would like to earn a little extra pocket1 money. ; MRS. DUNRAVEN BLUAIC. Martha Washington, the Independence Hall cat, Is considerably disturbed by the recent criticism of the grand stand In front of the Hall. She says that ou these warm evenings it makes a delightful airy dorml tory, and she has been planning some house parties of the Colonial Felines of America there., - SOCRATES. IT jv-' ' t ii-li ! tan, i 5. 5" .J r 1 1 i iwcncfwpuw DAISY-LAND ' DAISY-LAND, O Daisy-Land! A child, I wandered there; Nor is it yet a hazy land, To memory ever fair. It is so blue, so blue above I see no more such skies. Its blossoms seem to breathe of love, And dew from paradise. Daisy-land, dear Daisy-land, I loved you passing well. Sometimes, alack, a lazy land, i'ou wove o'er me a spell j The murmur of your brooks r.fiow, Your soft winds from the west, Ah. how they soothed ! AA'ould I might know. Today that perfect rest ! Daisy-land, fair Daisy-land, AVith beauty yet you gleam ; Your vales are still a mazy land I stray them as I dream : And, oh, the faces that I meet, Loved in the long ago! Alas, their smiles I cannot greet The teardrops blind me so. Samuel Mnturn Peck, in the Boston , Transcript. There is strong hope that recognition will make the Omsk Government the Russian Government In fact as well as in name. 'One reason why Philadelphia should be permitted to rule herself is that it would give the Legislature time to attend to other things. " . , AVhethe'r it be In Versailles or Berlin, the Germans are bound to hit the dotted line, says Lloyd George. . England still has some advocates of a soft peace, but there is question1 at this time whether such softness is born of the heart or the head. At least it roaybe said of Brockdorff RanUau that his work is cleverly done. Bungling by other German diplomats makes the fact worthy of note. s What Do You Know? QUIZ 1. In what year did the Saar Aralley region cease to be French territory? f 2. AA'ho Js the head of the allied food-relief commission? 3. Who is the national hero of Spain? 4. When, was the weather bureau estab lished? t 5. How long is a lunar month? v 0. AVhat Is a marline? 7. Who was "Fra Diavolo"? 8. What kind ot an animal is a marsupial? 0. What is the meaning' of the French phrase "Mariage de convtnance"? 10. AYhat is the capital of Oregon? ' Answers, to Yesterday's Quiz 1. Anna Shaw is honorary president of the National American Woman Suffrage Association. 2. Verjuice is sour liquor from crabapples, sour grapes, etc., used in cooking. 3. Fcrrol Is a port and naval station in the province of Gallicla In I the extreme northwestern corner of Spain. 4. The seventeenth amendment to the con stitution provides for the ejection of United States senators by direct popu lar vote. C. The United, States, during the wbrld tonflict,vwas at war .with two powers Germany and Austria-Hungary. 0, .Pllgarllc Is an old-fashioned word de scriptive of a bald-headed man. It is a corruption of "peeled garlic," 7. AValt AVhltman was born in Wcsthlllg, Long Island, N. Y,. 8,. The Commodore was the nickname of the Dlder Cornelius Tanderbllt. 0, Bangkok is the caoiUof Elam. 10, Patchouli Is an odoriferous' Indian platg, j from which Teriuawi is derived. ' 3 - ' r ... f .-, .. . - '( a '." .. r A
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers