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10
EVENING PUBLIC LEDGERr-PHILADELPHIA, FRIDAY, JANUARY 17, 1919
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Euentng public Ule&gec
THE tNTOGTELEGRAPH
PUDLIC LEDGER COMPANY
9TR.Fs."i,K- cunns, rtmpi'T
i Chtlji II. t.udlngton. Vice Prreidenii John C.
Martin. Scpreiary and Treasureri Philips. Colllna,
John n. Williams, John J. Stmrteon, Directors.
KDITORIAb nOAUD!
. Ctics It. K. Coin. Chairman
f DAVID B. SMILEY Editor
JQHK C. MAHTiy.... Qeneral Huslncaa Manager
Fubllhed dally at rnno I.cnars Itulldlns,
Independence Square, Philadelphia.
I.aron Cjmhil... .Iiioad and Chestnut Streeti
Atlantic CiTt Frrss-l'nfon llullilltiir
Saw ToaK... 200 Metropolitan Tower
Dtoit , 403 Kor.1 llulMlnr
Bt. Lorn ions Vullerton HulMlnir
Chicjoo 1202 Trloune IJulldlnc
NEWS BUREAUS!
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Phllidflphls, Prld.y. J.nuiry K. W
INVERSE RATIO
rpHE chief tcsident physician of the
Philadelphia General Hospital notes the
fact that there was n decided tleciease In
the number of alcoholic cases 1n the hos
pital last ear, and Rises the crc.it demand
for labor and the high wages paid as ono
tf the reasons.
This Is probably as true as It Is startling.
And it may be that thrift stamps and
Liberty Bonds helped n little.
Bill the bartender bad b.-'ter s'udy the
mysteries of the nut sundae
A SECRET PEACE CO.NTERE.NCE?
pr.ESIDKNT WILSON and I.lojd
"- George are the two men who teprescnt
the most strongi.v democratic Ide.ils at the
Peace Conference. They hav e tried to
avoid all the usunl methods of diplomatic
intrigue. Their shield and their weapon
Is public opinion.
The rule of sectecy pioposed by Conti
nental delegates at Carls would leave the
President and the British Premier tela
tivel powerless. 'l the world that is not
concerned with unworthily selfish interests
will support whatever measures Air. Wilson
and Mr. Uod lieoige mav adopt to keep
the processes of the Pence (.'nnfeteuce open
the light of da and to ctltlcal scrutiny
This sadden attempt to draw the old-
liioned veil of seuecy about the Ver-
fiCH debates was not unexpected. It Is
na'ier incident that should enable us to
antrstnnd v h .Mr. Wilson felt it neces
tin to so to i:urope.
ami
v
i
Uld So.il; r'a'-s thfe
agreement i:i 1 ..i'fiei
nc.'her rh: i m
Hill! Sa'la'vUei '
1 COSTLY miemi:m's
IIMATIONS that the ropo-icU doubling
t the tax on umu'-ement tli-Ufts will
cii in the revenue bill will kI'. par
reml po.nt to the familiar asset tlon that
ticu.y?a.ons taUe their pleasures sad...
AiiRJcents Impost on pii.iuet admissions
Tortile hpcculator oi- "ascni'j's' Uiarse
Iduf erv ae, - seems ukv. to lendPi tlie.
foioliiK u dubiou-. Jo . (irand-upora
atrnaRe will lost s,-; dollars per music
p- at tlie bos-othcu rate.
he mallards uie reporttd Rrcatlj e,-
ed oer this prospect nnd Dlmninir tires.
ure on the legislators. i not tha. ,
however, -o much as the pu.miir public
which should launcn it drlw. Tim tax, if
uthorlzed. will Ikuo to In paid b. tlie
playhouse patron: but ono thins which
even tin- most d'.astic revenue law does
not necesstnl icMinin Is the piodutiion
of a "show" that is rwill worth two do
lars. If full value was ret ui uert fo' that
I'xpenditine the foriv lenlw iiiIrIu be paid
In a combined glow of both patriotism
and art.
Old .lhn Bur :rj. (v ) t;et n,- i !ije-r
dajs in looking a' )' i ap
OYSTERS OR MOSQUTOE.-?
TVTAN' and the mosqaito sii.I ban o for
' stipremncj ,n some p-aits of Souili
,1erey. Th debates of down. Stale free
holders, who are insistent that l''i worlc
nf mosriulto linnnition be discontinued
hecausB it lias been found injurious io
oysteis in the creeks Is polpnuntly siir
Kestivc of our relative helplessness in this
confused world of ours
Had natute been farsiRhted o stei s
would be born with wings. They wou.d
hunt mosnuUoes. It is too lata now to
jemedy the defects, because an ovter
cannot be tausht an thine worth while.
Some marvelous instinct, it seems. h:is led
the oyster to live under water. It mas yet
he proved that the first of them lived In
the South .lersc.v cretUs with a fuu con
sciousness of what was to com.
iietween oj.strv and moso. iltoes there
dhould be no question When the lat
jnosquito is sent to the great beyond nnd
not until then, will Jersey have peace.
Whatever inav be the mortl coinli'ion of
Philadelphia's streets there is pltntv of oj.
deuce that thev are phjsicall' unclean.
AN UNJUSTIFIED FRENCH PROTEST
DISINQBNL'Ol'SNKSS as well as ner
vousness characterizes- the attitude of
the French press, which is Inquiring why
Canada, South Africa and Australia should
he. accorded tepresentatlon at the Ceace
Conference, while "Tunis, Morocco, 1ao.s
end Cambodia" are denied that p.-Ivilece.
The reason Is securely grounded In fact.
fThe counttlcs mentioned are not French
colonies at all and are hence not compara
ble In status with the self-governing- pos
sessions under the British crown.
There Is a Sultan In Msrocco, a Bey in
Tunis, kings In Laos and Cambodia, re
spectively. France "protects" them. Cru
cially these nations were not ranked as
Independent belligerents In the war, neither
ran they be strictly classified as part of
the French republic. Vhelr protectorate
role Is somewhat similar to that played by
Zanzibar, vvl.ero a British -high commis
sioner end resident administers the govern
ment In ii sultanate.
Clamor for representation by this terri
tory would be extravagant and unreason
able. Franco has so many just claims for
a recognition of her Interests that It Is
folly for her to weaken her position with
thin pretenses so easily exposed.
THE LEGISLATIVE STAMPEDE
FOR NATIONAL PROHIBITION
Dry Landslide Is Rclriliulion for Years of
Delimit Aliti'cs in llic Liquor Humiicsj
pVERYBODY but the liquor Interests
know ten years ago that prohibition
bad to come. The corner saloon, syndi
cated and subsidized by men hip;hcr up,
has been in many instances an abomina
tion and nn iniquity. It has been a
source of poverty. It is linked up with
political prostitution. No one ever can
measure the sorrow that has eddied out
from it. iMorc than half of the men who
Ko to jails and the electric chair arc, in
the final analysis, victims of second-rate
whisky.
In many quarters, nmoiiR those who,
like hotel owners, have legitimate inter
ests involved with and largely dependent
upon the license privilege, there has been
a feeling thai undue vindictiveness en
tered into the campaign against liquor
and the liquor traffic. That is a debat
able point. And in any event the final
responsibility foi all the- loss that the
liquor business has caused in the past
and all the material loss that may follow
upon sweeping prohibition lies with the
brewers nnd distillers, who turned to the
saloons in the headlong effort to wring
the last cent of profit out of their busi
ness. It was the cruelty and sordidness of
the traffic that gave the "bone-dry" ad
vocates their fiist battlecry. They com
plained against a system that first
created a thirst for whisky and then de
terminedly capitalized that weakness.
All experience gained in the industrial
life of the country made it plain that
reforms, and vety drastic ones, had to
be arranged. And yet if the men inter
ested in the liquor business had been
less blind, if they had been a shade more
conscientious, they might have avoided
the rigors of a "bone-diy" amendment
such as was ratified in the State Legis
latures yesteiday.
Tor rigorous the "bone-dry"' amend
ment will lie. The lesentnient and an
tagonism thus expressed against the
Maftic in intoxicants weu- inspired by the
shameless abuses of the whisky business
in the saloons. But the sudden whirl
wind of legislation unloosed in the last
!cv days has no limits. It reaches to
the dinner tables in countless oiderly
households. The thin wines and the
weakest beers go flying into the limbo
of illegal things. Innumerable persons
who weie never intoxicated in their lives
will bo forced to endure a mild sort of
haidship by the enforced revision of
their dinner schedules and the elimina
tion of tin- relatively liaimless bever
ages which they preferred to toa and
coffee ami which are, in the cases of
many persons, lcs stimulating than
those commonplace brews.
'lllis change will nut be welcomed by
everybody. There is sure to be a great
deal of clamor in tlie days immediately
ahead. Yet, if the blow fell heavily, if
the crash was overwhelming, then: must
have been a tremendous force of public
sentiment behind it. The whole liquor
controversy could not well have ended
otherwise. The wrongs and abuses were
too obvious and those who profited by
them were too defiant.
Instead of behaving decently in times
when an moused public consciousness de
manded reforms nnd icstrictions in the
liquor traffic, the blowing and distilling
interests became the corrupters of Legis
latures and the most liberal employers
of lobbyists and propagandists. It ap
peals row that they were merely piling
up retribution against the days to come.
Certainly the denouement was sweeping.
And there can be little doubt that there
will be a mixtuie of amazement and
anger among those who must endure the
consequences without having partici
pated in any way in thn abuses that
made "bone-drynoss" inevitable.
Tlie fact remains that it was tlie men
ehartred with the gcncial direction of
the brewing and distilling interests who
did moro than any one else to make na
tional prohibition certain. And it is to
these men that the comparatively few
innocent sufferers will have to take their
complaint.-.
The great question now must relate to
the methods necessary for tlie enforce
ment of a measure so inclusive as the
"bone-dry" amendment. In Washington
thct seems so far to be not even a
i emote conception of means by which tlie
pergonal habits of 100,000,000 persons
can be watched and legulatod.
It is certain, of course, that there will
be w idesprcad efforts at evasion. Will
private stills be common? Will the fed
eral Government have to employ a stand
ing aimy of spies and infoimcrs'.' Will
the jails bulge? These are questions
that can be answered only in thn futuio.
It is possible that the government may
find the "bone-dry" law to involve the
most difficult task that has ever con
fronted it in times of peace. And then
again, it is possible that the country may
gradually fall into the new plan and
forget whatever craving for intoxicants
it had.
The years immediately ahead will he
the hardest, of course, if theje is no
Midden reaction expressed through the
referendum vote now being talked of In
fourteen of the States whose Legislatures
have voted for the amendment. Tor a
taste for alcohol Is an acquired one. If
there is an Interval in which there Is no
beer or whisky to be had the rising gen
eration will not miss the saloons or the
hotel bars nny more than they could
miss the betel nut or the fried blubber
that they have never tasted. Thus tho
matter will simplify itself ultimately
nftcr the first period of strain among
those who "like a drink."
In a general way the sudden landslide
for prohibition Is no accidental phenome
non. There may be some painful adjust
ments and some kicking over the traces
and loud cilcs, but it is certain that the
saloon as we have known It Is gone for
good. Among those who will be most
disposed to applaud the general ratifica
tion movement there will be a wish that
it might have been effected more, so to
spenk, soberly.
There has been instead obvious symp
toms of mild panic in some of the Legis
latures md a rush among State politi
cians to ,et under the white flag when
it began to seem that the whito flog was
being carried to triumph. And the pro
Gcimanlsm of brewers' cliques, the short
age of grain when grain was short,
were matters which the anti-saloon peo
ple brilliantly capitalized. Yet the prin
ciples thus involved do not relate to tho
right or the wrong of. general prohibi
tion. Indeed,, the anti-saloon forces
could have afforded to go along without
this artificial ammunition. Tho ex
perience of all the civilized nations since
tho war began and tho record of confu
sion and accident left in the war indus
tries of this country by neighborhood
saloons, together with the black story of
tho liquor traffic at large, gave them a
valid cause and an appeal that didn't
need to bo supported by appeals to the
wartime emotions of the people or the
Legislatures.
.lut because of what has happened
many a saloonkeeper will detldc to quit poli
tics and let the country hustle for Itself.
THE ONLY TRANSIT SOLUTION
THi: sins of traction jobbery in the past
are finding the 1 n. T. Company out!
Tlie tefusa! of the State Cubllc Service
Commission to approve the proposed lease
of the cltj's high-speed lines to that con
cern arises oit of the scandcloj.s watering
of tho jndtrljliig companies. Tho other
objections concerning tho oidcr of pay
ments out cf earnings and the powers of
the .supervisory botrd might be overcome.
But the objection to the excessive lentnls
paid to the subsidlarle Is fundamental
and cannot be met except by tearing the
whole rotten fabric of the street railway
01 sanitation to pieces and lebuilding from
the foundation.
This attitude of tlie commission Is not
surprising after the disclosures mado by
the C. R. T. Itself In Its suit to shift the
burden of Federal war taxes to the under
ling companies. As long uro an June 12
last. In discussing this suit, we pointed
out that dividends ranging as high as TS
per cent, paid in the foim of tcntals. would
hardl pass muster befote the commission,
and added:
It is the abundant water in these under
lv ing companies which has proved the chief
barrier to u solution of Philadelphia's tran
sit pioblemx If the Public Service Com
mission has tho rlfrht to determine what
is a fair rate of revenue for the P. It. 'J'.
Company to demand of the car tlders, it
would oul be logical to assume that the
commission has the power to determine
what is a fair profit or dividend to pay to
the undtrl.ving stockholders on the basis
of actual capital Invested Instead of he po
tl.ptlc.il values sot l.j a gang of promoters
who fattened off stock-jobbing deals long
i. its ago. t unv tate the Idea is alluring
and might be wortli giving a tilal in tl'.o
foim of an action or complaint If the pres
i u' attempt to Invade the satictit ' of
tlie lease covenants shall succeed.
Since the .", R. 'P. demanded as a pre
eqiiisHo to the lcae that the citv con
firm a,', tlieso fixed ihaigcs as guaiauteed
In the contract of 1907. and aNo coullun
.lie waiver of its tights to take over the
.nderliing companies at actual cost under
tne act of lsa-1, it seems impossible to ar
imigo another leale that will not force
the water out of the subsidiaries.
lilt is it pos-lblo that tile ownets of
tiaction stocks will not now see tho light
and appro-icli the subject in a moio tea
sonable mood'.' Can the persist in a
couio which will not only hall develop
ment of a modem transit tervice In this
i'.t and hold it back a geneiatioii, but may
lesut In their losing the'.- present invest
ments tluough financial el suiter to the.
operating cumpnnv .' It is unthinkable that
the transit omelet can be unscrambled
and if-litrneil to the old unit system of
opeiatlon and management. t-t that Is the
possibillt fating tho '.eased companies if
tho I. I!. T. shall be forced to keep on
pa.ving these gouge rentals. Would It
not be better to come to some compromise
that would meet the approval of tho Cub
he Servko Commission nnd still pay the
stockholders a fair dividend rental on the
at mat cash invested"
Examination of the last annuai teport
of tho J'. It. T. shows that ubout one
i.uarter of the gross passe.-ccr earnings
of the company goes to pay these fixed
ehatge'. In other words, every time a
rider pass a nl kcl for a rde, one end n
q.iatter cents goes into the pockets of tho
ui.dc-ri) ln,T stockholders, whose companies
were thus described by Kills Amea Bai
kal d cjunsel of the companj. In his brief
to Congress last suinmei :
The underlying companies hive no rep
resentative boards of directors The boards
are really paper boards, elected b proxies
from e-ar to year. It Is dlfllcjit to Bet
enough proxies to hold an annual meeting.
The companies are really dead companies.
The on! interest that the stockholders
have Is revolving senilaniiuallv a distri
bution bj wm.v of dividend of tho guaran
teed rentals received.
There seems to be only one solution left
for the problem. The whole corporate or
ganization of the transit plexus must bo
resh'ipcel, whether the stockholder like
It or not. It Is either that or stagnation
for Chlladelphla's transportation growth,
and the latter alternative Is not to be
tolerated.
A llKlucd cigarette
rrh In caused a fire in the
tlie Homo rlome of the Capitol
in Wnhlngton thn
other day 1 setting fire to some trash there.
The blaze was extinguished before much
dJtnngr was done. Something as trifling as
a cigarette sometimes docs much the same
thing In tho dome of a Congressman.
JOHN BARLEYCORN
AND HIS MANY PARTS
His Ingenuity, His Cosmic Ca
I rcer and His Seventh
and Twentieth Cen-
I tury Setbacks
piVnN a bone-dry United States will have
-J to lake second place ab a temperance
league. Its predecessor doubly Its numerical
superior dramatically sprang- Into being
some 1300 years ago, when a middle-sued
business man of Mecca proclaimed himself
the prophet of fjod and started to prorely
tlie on behalf of new social habits as well
as a new religion. His cult, called Moham
medanism In his memory, forbids the con
sumption of all wines or other intoxi
cating liquors, and today some 200.000,000
of "the faithful" observe that drastic
mandate. Backsliders are, of courte, discov
erable, but on the whole the temperance
tenet of Islam has been observed with sin
gular fidelity, Arabia Is socially as well
as physically dry, and the great Saraba Is
both literally nnd metaphorically a desert.
In other portions' of the Moslem world
abstinence Involves the application ot con
siderably more moral discipline. The millions
of Mohammedans In India and Java dwell
ui.der governments and among peoples not
officially affiliated with blue-rlbbonlsm. So
far as the civil law Is concerned, the Bom
bay, Bonares or Batavlan Moslem may drink
If ho chooses. But If he Is true to the Koran
ho will refrain.
In Persia, however, a certain tolerance of
alcoholic sthnulantH has always characterized
the members of the Rutinltc Mohammedan
sect. That this tendency Is of long standing
is revealed in the graceful but bibulous quat
rains of tentinaltlng Omar. In the days of
the Rubalynt the dry factions seemed to hava
lacked full coercive or persuasive powers In
Ispahan. Persia's neighbor., the Turks, how
ever, seem to be mado of sterner stuff. It
has been hinted by blue-ribbon 7calots that
the Ottoman's substantial qualities as a
fighter may In part be traced to this austerity.
It cannot bo said, however, that Moham
medanism, backward In many respects, even
at times fanatical and cruel, has been In any
sense a potent factor In the recent rprcad of
the prohibition movement. Economic reasons
have operated strongly. That they must have
been powerful Is evidenced by tho magni
tude of opposing forces sustained bj the force
of custom and tradition going back to tho
hoariest antiquity.
WINK, however. Is tho true veteran, not
spirits. The latter, produced by distil
lation, were unknown as beverages until the
twelfth century of the Christian era. Kven
todaj, tavo where peoplo of northern races
or antecedents do congregate, they are not
tho ruling potation. Scots, Britishers, Irish,
Scandinavians and Americans have brought
whisky into both prominence and disfavor.
But an amazing variety of other drinks
some of them of extremely curious composi
tion ate to be encountered elsewhere In the
"wet" communities. Drinking customs are
equally odd, nnd occasionally they furnish
knotty problems for the statisticians.
Thus France. Italy, Spain and Portugal,
high up In the list of wlne-grovvlng and wlne
(onsuming countries, do not rani; In tlie same
order on the subject of Inebriety. Tho prac
tice of diluting wine with water is very
prevalent In the first two nations named,
while the latter rate among the soberest of
i calms for tho reason that they generally
prefer to sell rather than drink their heaviest
wines.
In tlie great vats of Jirvz formerly spelled
Xcres. whence our corruption "s'ntiry" is
stored gallon upon gallon of that extremely
"head" desseit wine, much of which Is
shipped to Kngland. The Spaniard tipples
with "aguaxdlente," a white brandy, anisette
flavored, but comparatively rarely to the in
toxication point. The lighter wines of his
land Valdeponas, .Manzanillo, Rioja, white
and red aro his table beverages, and simi
lar fairly Innocuous decoctions aie quaffed
in Portugal, whence most of the teall strong
native port is shipped abroad. It should be
added that both the Spaniard and tho Por
tuguese aro wont to flavor their coffee with a
dash of biatidy. They seldom drink it
"straight."
FI'.ANCK, tha greatest of wine-producing
nations, has also long cultivated foreign
m.ttkets. With the extinction of absinthe, tho
greatest peril to the, nation has been elim
inated. All tho non-Moslem world had pur
chased her fermented Juices of the grape.
Hcrmany, notwithstanding the nscendancy of
beer, greedily coveted the most expensive
champagnes Tito wily Gaul who sold it often
contented himself with Imbibing tho much
mi'der and more "plebeian" tarlety known as
' tisane."
Since Horace's day, and before It also,
Italy has rejoiced In her Falcrn.an now
called Kalirno has abhorred, even dreaded,
spirits, and has clung to her delicate local
wines Orvleto. I.acrima Chrlstl, Orignoilno,
t'rascatl. Capri whose bouquet is ro cva
nescent in export. Chiantl was1, of course, her
trade wine, Ilcr dessert wine, Matsa'a, like
Madeira in iis Island habitat, is usually
taken in small quantities.
Potations fearsomely captioned, and here
groupid together for that reason ulone, are
vodka, pulque, sako and kaxa. They all sug
gest fervency, but only tho first mentioned Is
really tire-water. Wartime Hussla threw off
Its curre, but restored it under the regime
of 'peare" and Bolshevism. Its tragic
potency is writ large in the grim annals of
that enigmatic nation.
Mexico dotes on her sour-smelling pulque,
a decoction from the cactus plant, but the
rest of the world envies her not at all, A
great deal is consumed in the land of our
southern neighbors, but a conniderable quan
tity Is nccesfary If a "hick" Is desired.
Sake, the Japanese rlco wine, ,1s still
milder, while kava, the South Si-a Island,
and especially the FIJI, beverage, presents the
anomaly of being at once slightly Intoxicat
ing nnd nonalcoholic. It Is made from the
roots or leaves of pepper trees. The com
parative harmlessness of this drink, In
which both Polynesians and Melnneslans re
joice, is doubtless the reason why Its manu
facture Is permitted by Britain In her Paclllc
Islands Klsewhere In King George's South
Sea empire there Is considerable drought.
Tho Cook Islat.ds aro altogether dry, al
though travoleis declare that fermented
orange juice is still surreptitiously obtain
able It constitutes a strange cheer cup In
deed, but no odder 'ban others In the be
wildering array of stimulants that have pie
vniled since time was from China to Peru.
Iceland must he excepted. That weird and
Isolated Banish possession has bom bone
dry since 10O8, Islam Iceland America
that Is the prospective composition of the
blue-ribbon triumvirate In a world whoso In
genuity In devising alcoholic beverages has
am aantni-Ua ham I rift ta HaVCi ViTaa
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TEE CHAFFING DISH
Benjamin Franklin
(Today Is Benjamin I'ranklin's birlhdayl
BKNJAMIN" FRANKLIN, sagacious and
i witty.
The greatest of all who have lived in this
city.
Earnest and frugal and very discerning,
Always lnditsttlous, bent upon learning,
Athlete, ambassador, editor, pt Inter,
Met chant nnd scientist, writer, Inventor.
None was more canny or shrewder of brain,
None was more practical or mote humane,
Nono was e'er wiser
With rommon sense l ipe,
Cireat advertiser
And founder of type.
TR.OCni.iKS ho suffered, but he didn't
dodge any:
Born the fifteenth of a numerous progeny
(Seventeen children Joslali had sited,
A whole little font oC good lower-case
typos;
A fact that the census man must have
admired
1 think- old .Tosiah might well have
worn stripes,
But that was In Boston wlute folks aro
prolific)
He passed through a bo hood by no means
pacific.
Through most of his teens, young Benja
min lent his
Best efforts to being his brother's appren
tice, But Jimmy was crusty they didn't get on.
And one autumn motnlng young Benn.v
was gone.
Ho vowed he would make his sour kins
man look silly.
And so he took ship nnd descended on
Chilly.
THE very flist though', that came Into
his nob
(After buylns somo buns) was to look for
n Job.
So up from the ferry
Our Benjamin stalked,
And hungrily, very,
Ate buns as he walked.
A certain blithe flapper,
A whimsical lass.
Observed the joung strapper
And thought he lacked class.
And so, In the manner of feminine strafing.
The superior damsel Just couldn't help
laughing;
But Ben, unabashed by this good-natured
chafllng,
Although young Deborah
Was certainly rude,
He thought he'd Ignore her
And cheerfully chewed.
With tho best hind of repartee later he
parried her,
For seven years afterward he went and
married her.
WELL, you all know or his varied suc
cesses, Klectrlcnl hobbles and his printing presses.
See how his mind, with original oddity
Touched nnd found Interest In every com
modity: Busy with schemes to domesticate light-
nluer,
Inventing a stove for home warming and
brightening,
Scribbling a proverb, a Joke or U' sermon,
Publishing too (what I am loth to mention
For fear of Its bringing up any dissension)
Printing, I say, a newspaper In German
"HERE GOES!"
mStiffiSr ..- ....
'xgssxz
Also, for which he's remembered by most,
lie founded tho Satin day V.vcninit Cosf,
For which Iivin Cobb has consistently
praised him .
And Its cliculutlon would much have
amazed him!
TJCSY with matters too many for telling
-- Paving of da light and simplified spell
ing Mill his chief happiness, as ono may think,
Came when he found himself dabbling In
inl;.
And all his writings, though slight he did
think 'em,
Brought him a very lespectable Income.
His was a mind that was chiefly empirical,
Not at all given to theorv or miracle
Nothing chimerical.
Nothing hysterical,
Though he wiolo verses, they vveion't very
lyrical,
And he was touched with a taste for sa
tltlc.il. Though his moio weighty affairs woro so
numerous
Vet he was quulntly and constantly hu
morous, Loved Chlladelphlan.s, but when ho was
one of thorn
Nothing ho liked quite so well as make
fun of them.
TTAC.DKY airy invention since his tlmo
-"' has burst
But Benjamin Franklin had thought of
it first;
Indeed It would cause me no ejaculations
To hear he predicted tho new league of
nations.
He truly succeeded In most that ho tried, he
Confounded, his enemies, and when he
died he
Was guiltless of sin except being untidy.
He died of old age, not of illness or tumor.
And wrote his own tpilaph, full of good
humor.
Kvery tradition .and custom he broke,
This tlrst Chlladclphlan who dared make
a. joke!
r.Iegy in a Comer Saloon
The curfew tolls the kneel of parting
booze,
Tho thitsty ciowd winds uncxalted home.
The barkcep has an access of the blues,
And no one has the heart to blow the
foam.
The urns of tea do not Inebriate,
Cocalno and opium have but scanty lure,
Indeed henceforward what can irrlgato
The short and slmplo channels of tho
poor?
The boast of Hulg and Halg, tho pomp of
Schlitz.
And nil thut whisky, nil that beer o'er
gav c,
All, alt are shattered Into llttlo bits .
What us3 the craving when there's
naught to crave?
We hear thnt tho two-cent postage Is to
be resumed next July, which gives us a
perfectly valid cxeuso for postponing nn
answer to somo of our letters until then.
On the Interned German Meet
Take, O lake those slil.is uvvu
That bo foully were forsworn -Sink
them In the tuder Zee,
Pile them up upon Cape Horn.
SOCRATB8.
XI
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Bingen on the Rhine
XT7HKN I was still a tQW-hcad kid acrd
W nn ancient spell.
And bad to do as I was bid or catch
balls el:
I still recall with maudlin curse the dai
bad to rise
And kick In with some foolish verso vl
terror In my eyes :
"Beneath the Spreading Chestnut Tree
Ride of Paul Revere"
"L'pon a Stern nnd Rock-bound Coast" I
others Just as sere:
But fiom the list which stands accu
where nightmares still entwine.
The one that 1 i celled Hist was "Bingen n '
the Rhine."
Aeh Golt ! The morning I arose upon fha
schoolhouso stand, '
Willi pallid cheek and shaking toes ana
tremors of the hand :
My heart wont up to meet my mouth, my-
bulging eyea grew dim,
My tongue was drier than a drought along
Sahara's rim;
"A soldier of tha legion lay" and then with
starting tears.
I stopped without a wotd to say, for I forgot
Ag!rs,
And that'n why heart and soul still burn
and cold chills soak the spine.
Each tlmo my mot bid thoughts return to
Bingen on the Rhine.
Ami now against the Hun's abode with
steady tramp along,
Tho old Third Army bits the road, two hun
dred thousand etiongi
As dim dawns from the eastward creep tht
vanguards down the plain,
They hold their sector of the sweep that
started from Ixrralne.
I don't know- et whero Bingen stands upon
the bally map,
Nor jet which Allied army lands upon ttl
waiting lap;
But while for war and all Its hell I can't say
that I pine, "
I'd like to drop at least one"'shell In Bingen
on the Rhine.
Lieutenant Grantland Rice,
Third Army, A. E. F.
Sad the fate et
Przemsl. In Septem
ber, 1014, tho name ot
Ilorr Soon the
World rorgeta
the Qallclan town was
on every tongue and the tongues wert
having a haid time with It. Things wera
different then. Russia was still on the map;
General Ccnnenkampf had captured tni
stronghold; the German machine had bey
temporarily halted, and the worjd thrllt
with anticipation. And today Premysl :J
hard work to get on the front page with i
story that HOOO people have been killed the;
by the Ukrainians1. I
What Do You Know?
QUIZ
How many -furs did llrnjumln Franklin lit
Wliilt U the lontMt ttinnrt In the world?!
What Htatra In the lrnlon for manr it
unu two rupiiuis earn. .Istl
Who la tha present Kmiirrnr ot Jauiin?
now ions- niirr inn Utile or rutlllrallnn ali
the prohibition amtndnirnt to Into 'n(sjx
What Is tne meaning or the word laurau
What la the longrot rlitr in Frunte?
Who was "Mother Slihiton"? v,
Who aulil "llrtnn la profitable, fratltui
rxpennl-a'".' i
10.
Whirli ) liable should bs stressed Inl
Answers o Yesterday! Quiz
Tit ft I'rIii-nt af thm 1Tnlt1 Rtaj. Ttf
dorp Kwiht-.rlt Him M-jmIh un Brj
urrf qi ifumi iKiirrnui unrrHiry.
, Tmdltlon nrfribfn ruby sifts for tfaa
tlrtli weildlnc unnUrrmirs.
Thr lonreht .river , villi, n tht, rnltfrt Htfi
t unm Mrl 'nnnlr L hna t,t -ul.nl
-liulriminhlii of th Democratic J.uU
I i.iiiiiii.irv,
Th fnreiwaU of ship la (lis end of the I
iw.u ,(, ,,,f- llllKir ui uie iiomm,
I he Atlua Mountain are In Morocco.
Melius U the (Irrrk nam for (Ireece,
The annual ailtjryof the 1'rep.hlent ofl
tor Irmellnc eiurne.
Henry l'lelillnr. thm V..-II-I. -..n-i
elshternth centurr. urol Tom J.J
Mshammrd was barn In the, Utter part
sUti- century A. 1. He died U Ml J
VI
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