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THE I2VUNINQ TELEGRAPH
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t the rute o. t ih 'l-1 i.,j,i ivi ,nk i,a'j4
tj the carrier.
11 lull to , i.t ..ut. ii j! l'i.likU:!iU. In
tlieVr.U u fct.i'e , ''.n..!!. yi umt.i ttts.ifp ran
nefAloni. i-Hi;e ire i.tt nn) fenti per :iiouti.
klje US) dollars itr :r, pcMtUo lu uJvnte
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BILL. "ODD H LNLI
ntwiuvi!. wi.s :
l c Un i
i ca' i
PI .ititk,(i
llfuiber of lm totUloi l'tes
( uV i ;'ih.v-i fo fie fi" fur icpuoll etli .
o'n'j i"i J is pet clu' j i.rrcf.(iit to it ' io
I'ejjui ..ci .iJ.'NJieci ihoici.i.
1" lijil'3 t IfiJUHiWlitOU 0 OJ)Cl..'u.' lil"
I'li.i.j.i,,;
MuiJjt. N.innltr 11. 191!
- 1
nil, vmuKhi) i.Mi'iia.
Hillock, ajfJi: . w'uin ti.e (Jew.ian ijV
- tn .nt.it uiiC .is ejnjrs of gvoou hu
jstorj ur.u jMaf ' -pp.ng buMn mokt fo;i '
alnnt-d t av '((.Liu, ilio iutruni)i s ;
nwlft aru s-nto ..ig letrltution.
T utraR" ' li a co Ue'ltUlii Huji I
nJ Iii ij.ii: ui'uj (. nil Hie pucr1 I
of frecm las VuURlit tuit.i tlie tty
ildin;e)8(!iict ,r i.uu-luiti spiiltnal to
blli'y. "I (.j tot -tt n:;- lrfe." xatd Ilaru
iet, 'Vt a .jiti'a foe, aau tvv tn; 'son:, wlut
ail it uo to that" " Atiii on fcUoIi u, con
e wring with ut. -iunpifd fortituao
tlio pilee i:i l.unmn ;.vca tlio league of
l.bertj- re:aaina .to orlaltiai members tjt
moro tl.ati flfUc.i liur.dn 1 iia- oi "nfv
morai:y undctlleil
But the agoiieij ts.i.cli .m Umnaa p"o
pe liavo unletgutt! luw cut to tlie ven"
oul. Tl.cio tiesoti Iris ciono ttft wornt
Splritu-. po.sun U more slniatar than the
most cUbcI.ei. tiiatoriul oppression. The
German paoplo l.ac ooen dnggsi, trtita
physical'.' corr :stu, Ij-eJ Into Intatuateil
xubserlptiu'i t f.r.i..ta'j'o fal'.hi mentally
befouled
Tlicy " i. J l .( . u.sun ana a iut.01. .1
Us orn Xemct.' Huioiutlvii. U'.inj,'
nd Implai'a'o'.i.. t...niplK aown the Ij'lng
scni'!cs of "plri'ual fiantiy. Klnss and
Kaiser are 'nept av.a as Eu mao'.i fllthj
trash which itideeU thev are. lite warped
nd flayed labric of th Hun empire .m
rass la three supreme.:? Ulritotlc daji.
Terrible ai wjs the nlghtnidre for tho op
pressed, mora tc.r.iil ', !'-t a-.aketi"s o
the oppreao: t
Justice, fuli-pa. opl.ed, nushty n the ar
mistice decision whe.'t'jy the ulood
attained aworu of clttpot'sm ha been shat
tered, never to Ue iefo-sed, uc'io. . '-
jjrlmo foe tittcily uisaimeu
' Tho faith of the Allies n tho abiur to
crush the Hun military nmchlno Ta
gloriously mtlexlble. Tho proapct of de
stroying absolutUnt ai.d Junhcilcm ceeinei1
far less clear. And now llshtnins bt.ol:ve
from Germany hen.c!f hayo rent these ir
famlci. Tho pariah of ntlona it i- the
th.-ocs of celf-punlahment.
Kor on ir.htant at least tho champions
of freedom stand 'u tho capacity of ou-
' lookers beforo a tnlrling scene, of'.
imagined, but seldom with reassuring to
vlctton.
TVHllam I7ohi.ii.oi.eii a. mgltl.e :t
Holland. Cor.ci'ivab'y ho may liavo bee..
the tool of tj rai.tu or perhupa tho chic f of
them. The dellnlto extent of tlio iole l.o
lias played throughout tho war is rtlli
somewhat ob,cure. Hut in any coiit lo
was a symbol of archaic iniqultj, armp'.
with power, anl au such he geaica to
edst.
'"With a hAer ha J5lg;is the abJicatio:.
document liandoj him b Hcheldeinami.
Xero -nit:! all his unities and lcea died
' after tt.o his'.i Hcmati fashion ' ly hl
own hand. Xapoleon called himself Th
miatocle3 and otepped v.lth tricio dignity
into the camp of his English foe
After un official life spent In htriMns
attitudes, the b'usteilng German 1'mperoj'
and King of Prisjia li involvod In a scene
which he neiw :ehear!ed. It Is wcalc'v
and unepically perfoimeU.
Ills fate cannot bo forecast, nor ran in
deed the fates of the trighter.ea Ulnslots
nho abdicated almost simu'tancously with
nlm. Illstorj' marches too impetuously ia
Germany toda; t, 3"tlatc dta!kd o
ductlon.
Amid the wrecks of a. diolv!ug uieam
Kreat cities - Berlin, Hamburg, r.eipsu
Stuttgart cat' out their tyianU. Bol
shevism may lun lampant as In KubsIj.
Hatlonul llberallem may trlump'. Prophe
cles aro mere idlo verbiage
At the moment, howevei, It U jilaiu that
the German revolution no mental flgment,
"out an accomplished fact has lifted a
terrific burden from tho shoulders of tho
llles. They wl'.l nevor have to trat with
the Govermnent of thusscry which bjan
the war. '
Outraged, long deluded and now awak
ened victims of mental and phjfclcal cor
ruption at homo havo in one May Hlnipll
fled our dllllcultles. After forty-e en j cars
of pretentious bulldozing and overweening
criminality tubtle In peace, exultantly and
openly brutal In wai -the Jerry-built "it
' plre Is nonexistent 11' en lh German
people have spoken.
lrteust iv the election didn't a" i..uj,-
SAE YOUll SAVINGS SfAMl1?
T
1113 movement for the redemption of
war-savhig slampj icported by f If.
Bowdcn, execjtlvo cecretary of the war
M.vln:s committee for Philadelphia, ii re
grettably illustrate e of a Jack of both
business and patriotic foresight. Self
litteitst alone should compel the retention
of these gilt-edged Investments until ma
,turlty, when, they will be worth seventy
"ijjht cents naoro tan the currant pur
hae j)rlc.
I Ml. t..u.. -a.n.u.1 r.ll rr . t : . .Xn l..rlt.1.
,, rW mi (ci suviai vi,is4iwu w iu.u.i.a
tlfW MM never uten more vaua man nor.
xPtoWtiilU of peace wii' i-e Job of
TIT12 LESSONS
I'tMit' ill Mi- l.nK I miming M hen Cueiniiirnl9 l.t-.iru to 1' a Ur.no ami
us lioiii'tt as TIn'ir Peoples
I rKKMAXVn uentu from t!i Jlrt. Th inevitable colliili'e ujiJ uiTnder of
today tprc nitrly kUuJ. lh uutonquui ablf l'oi-eos that oppo'il WHhulm'j
arm.'tfj ami raailc theh Jouiii uilaln v.u- tlif iudgmcttt of dviliratkm and. above till,
the hope of niatii.'ind, vhivh rom'Ot die.
Tt will ba day bofoie e air ublo t'uliyto lealuo that the wai in ended, ltut
it M onr!d. Ths thltig thut I'hangcd the manner of ouv lives and oar habits of
I thought and o vie-s of ootidact liolotitr to history. Tito niudncss and glitter that,
i veto Got man auto.rav ar in tlw dust. Tho peoplo ato upon their kntn to await
1 the judgment and the vharit jf thosy they wonged. Vranct tint'inn in tho dubt
of ictorieu battle at S'wdan, tho world's wickedest king in flight, captains plodding
with white flag Mhero they lupod to go as conquerors NVmodis rattling tho doort of
the mighty, the fnecu of opprf-jod people-. tmnd to tha thy in nuv. faith so moret
the panoiania at lla tnpMidou , end of the gvento'.t ti'lvonlut in human ct.perience.
Tlio WAV it W0!1.
T!ut what shall wt do i'. the vu-tuj V
Xo empifd over concclveu i-ould be o gttat an that vnipiit of tonunon httciest,
of nnlightsnment and now luiman relationships that wisu tlatesmcn might leur from
the waste and soitow of foui tnutchleac youra. Jlillions of men hau died. They
will live In hlftory forovev to (.luillongo this age, to nth what has been dona with
tho gifts they gave. They utd..'t die for r.nybody'i vrlde or for the mateiial benellt
of any homekegpiug group. They sav nobler ends. IV shall have to see as clearly
as they did or ia tho end wo ihall have lost. Something of tho old junkeriem still
lemahn everywhere. It is here and ii, 1 lurking behind tho aimies that reduced the
Ucrmuu menace. It will bo at th peciee confevci-p. Tt mut h- aK a? mcrciloT
a-i 'f it wotv a Guiman ini'f.inn.
Iheje a e das mat huiii. maUn it oag.
i tilled with intimations of high destiny.
reveal n group of factors dourly lit that seem tu have reacted to impulses not
alwayt traceable in the world o familiar thingf. I
France endured for four .. c.tj the b'ovs intended ij. all tiMin;at!oii and never
ii.xtl nar Head, i ore"i' Kiam-H .iii i. h en oi ahih tig lo the btiuHg, oi lujpira
tion to ti.-Jpirlng nun. Kor what greater purpoje 'wa-i Hhe tempered'.' And Miiely
it vttij fiom tar height thut Uio spirit came which moved the lielgian 1'arliumerit
v hen lielgivim made tho epic decisions and preu.ircd to lling herself under the v heels
of tho Qormnn aimj. There was Kitchener, who lned in sileucu tnrougli a year of
r'dieuk whilo he built up the army that raved l"-anev. Kitchener who did hiq work
and ulcd. Th'-re was the indomitablii soul oi Joil'ii. ,-hicli h.ivcd civilization at
the Mtirne and, in the latt: end, thero viu Toi.li. .iti. a patience greater and moie
mystical than Job. who had tho stiength to ,.ut when waiting meant auonj to
litlf a world. And there waj Woodron 'WiUon, l'vesident of the United .State-1,
whobe part it v as to wait and to endure, and ultimately to v. ring from th'j dust and
tetror of the war u t-plendld hopj uaeennte to jjrtify and to make plain the ci)d;'
of uilor and the goals of snciilice.
Suwly, in these hours, vo look bad; upon thu wo.l: of these men each a so;!
tuiy. each following n light revealed mysteriously to his cyeri alone ia to have a
new belief in forces that exist above thu world! Men who arc titted to bear tho
accumulated burdens of tho lace and to persist through places where thero i no
light to n great end aro not accident'. Thoy ausw er the beck of every great eau&e.
They always appear, the shining ones, when tho aio needed. 'I hey are part of the
plan. So it ha always Icon and so it will be to the end.
t
In the futur" juugmen'.n of Mi. Wilson's g.cat Venice to humanity .. will
alwajs bo remembered that tho war we havo just ended was not the war as it was
begun. It was tho 1'resider.t, with tho inspiration of the nation behind him, who
changed it and made it u thing to which all junt men might consecruto themselves.
Humanity became auare of :i savage thing. Men tlung thenibelvea at it in tide
after tide. They ceased finally to light even u- they fought most bittmly and in
the greatest loneliness for empire or nationality nlonc. They had ceen something
higher. They were moved by a paasion for tight that lioa deep in every human
conseiou.ner to b roused oniy in' a uiEi. HK t'.tts or laughcr or pity oi faith
In God7
Ilut tliHj fought m silenu fheie was no otlw way. T fell to Mi. AVil-ji to
be tho roico of all these men ol eveiy nation to g.ve utterance to the thing" thoy
felt In tlitir hearts. And do tl.n common desiie to be free fiom the old obsessions
and injustices and eiror of government, the diiwng with of all people to be ju3t to
ono another if they but have 'he opportunity, was espies ed clearly not only to
Germany, but in tho councils of all other nations vheie tho old blindness and super
stition remained. What faith and courage wore tequired of thu President it is easy
to imagine. Hi was a loneaomo course, followed steadfattly against all tido- of
mi3underUanding and iriticii-m. Yet it if. ph.in now that his inspiration came from
tho ilrst essentials if greatness. a tiust in plain men everywhere, a passionate
desire- fo" thcii welfare, an uti wen'ing belief in their honor and their strength.
Xone of the President' mistaken, such as they havo been, can matter in the
light of this supreme achievement. He lias made tho United States trusted even by
its bitterest enemies. And it isto him that the broken peoplo of Austria and Ger
many looked at last from the deeps of their stgonj .
That indeed is rtatcsmar.siiip.
i
It will bo the height of criminal folly in tuee gieat hours or m the tuture for
any nation or any group to let individual pride or vanity feed upon the victory
oi er Germany to say "It was I" or "It was wo" who served mosit nobly. All men
were noble all were brt.ve. Tne war brought them together in ways too intimate
and too terrible to make mean passions justifiable. Yet the United State has to its
honor achievements such as never before were recorded. From a base thirty-ilvo
hundred miles away, over three thousand miles of open water, we sent one of tho
greatest armies that thu world luu ever know n witnin a little more than six months
with the incalculable equipmtnt ueces-sary for war on land, on sea and in the air.
Within :i year we made an army of tnree million trained men and provided artil
lery, ammunition, food, organization. Aladdin could hardly havo done more than
we have dono in the involved and dillicult urts of waif are formerly strange to Ub.
It will be said of us that we turned the tide and mado tho way for victory. This is
ttue. Uut did not Belgium and I ranee and England at some time turn a tide and
help make a way for victory- and at more terrible cost than we havo had to tuft'er?
Hut tor Belgium Trance migln, hae oeen lost. But for Fiance England would
have had no time tor preparation. Italy tlung heinelf in and turned a balance.
And then our turn came in that process of sacrifice. We played an epic part JolTro
had aaid 'even in 1911. "Stand and die'." Huifl said he was fighting with his back to
the wall and stood his ground. 1 och in his turn said, "Stand and die!" His
poilus smiled and stood and died. And then Lloyd George announced that it was a
race between Illndenburg and Wifcou.
Xo onu doubted who would win. And when Wilpon appeared, he appeared with
all the peoples of the civilized world behind him.
Tli3 war has represented no individual triumph so clearly as ji represents a
culminating and victotious aspiration of the spirit of mankind. So we must think of
it now and in the future. If all government shall attain to u new philosophy of
conduct we shall h:.vo truly won. Life now must start all over again. It must
have a bravo' and imaginative beginning. This should bo the great attainment of
tho war. If the rights of tho little or the weak are not to be respected and revered
everywhere upon the earth, the war has not been worth while. Only after the futuro
alignment and relationshipj of nations are outlined at tho peace conference and
only after the forces that cist at times abovo Governments are tamed, can we be
certain of complete ictory in this momentous hour of the world's history. The
peace conferences and the forces that make themselves felt there will be watched
as men were never watched before.
In tho dillicult days ahead We must put our trust in the President and in those
who havo been able to seo as far and as clearly as he has seen. "We must givu them
all our strength.
Vov fhere muit be no uio,v adi.
tremendoua eostlirew. Cashing in the
stamps now might i.oceswitato tntuaslnB
the sio of tho next Ilbertj I.oan. It is
now certain tho next bond issue will
be offerod to aid thn Inspiring cause of
bringing tho troopa back from Hurope.
The more money at tho Government's
disposal through war stamps, tho easier
Its huge construction taeks will bo made,
ltedoemlnff war btamps ut this time, can
be Justified on no grounds, either purely
mates-lal or Idealistic The bct thing to
do about these pledges it to bu more ot
th'm.
Ae '. ill be: a pa.t o. ioii uues thut
JIuiUnd feels uncomfortably crond-d toila.
! WAR AND WOMAN'S 11HLSS
ONU who is merely a man Is not sup.
posed to hao any knowledge of
woman's dicss. He cun be only a dazed
and humblo spectator at the endloas,
changing panorama of the seasonal modes:.
Thero was a time whetl he might havo
supposed haf feminine arts at"'' ha'''"'
OF viqroin.
to epc.ience uligious Jaith. 'Hits ur
History, when it is calmly written, will
menta were devised tor hta do'llaht or an
a moans to his uuguat favor. Experience
and the years liavo mado him conscious of
his melancholy error. Women dress to
please each other or ratuor, if one may
rlsls a guesn, to dlspleaso each other, Wu
havo heaid wise and bearded men say that
a hat or a gown, though it be lovely be.
yond words, Is not a success In the eye
of tho owtier unless it make another lady
quail in anguish and hopeless envy.
This, however. Is not at all what we
started out to eay. What wo atarted out
to say and we havo gotm perilously far
afield already Is that the war seems to
Uae promised a beneficent t evolution in
the oldest of arts. The easy lines of sol
dleis' uniforms have been an Inspiration
to simplicity and dlgnltj, which has had
its first rea6tlon in tho garb of tho in
numerable nieces of our common Uncle
who turned from the ordinary ways of life
to aid their great relative in his war upon
Wllholm of German).
One who lias a senslthe eje must
ndmU nut wctntn in the uniformed service
appear more charming than tl.oj ever did
ueforo. Time was w ci. be t,ule.i uu ladles
l.al oti.cr lotlutit of fc.j, They v-ah.cd '
1 1 costumH iilui om. i clued t tao I .
iNperleticed to lnovo t. . the virtue of
Sfi'aee, but ratner tho laborious bedevil
itictit of stuffs; tho tuiturlng und tuluttnc
of one rort 'f material aftir ut.Btlior into
tonus almost hhocl.'lnt,'! remooj from all
luw of lino and proportion. ILits used
to be worlcu of freti.ii', in which fruits and
j:!aa-Anr ut.d dmiEhnir things pl'uvalled
to distract attention from tu brlsht with
ltit.oceitee or a raro lately enouyh to thine
alone, ulmci e the improvement fci this
bleesed day whtn dress ure bhiK inado
that depend on Birnplo mud btatoly linos
and n knowing disdain for Luperiluout, or
nament: t Hutu, too, ure'foiIowliiK a Ulinl
lar trend, Tliy do not confuso tho h
telet of un observer or olhul him.
A voleo In tho liacitm ound observes tllnt
all we havo written hero to lllorffa!. Jt
contend that tdo Rnal virtue of hira
pli ity la dreau is lu Itself repiesontatlte
of the eoftllest art and ai dillicult of atl
taltinifiit us is htinpllolty of action in our1
ciowded o'lsteti(;o. Thin may be true.
V.e i o not Urow. Xor shall we arsite.
We 1 ft' "aid what wo believe
, mi- an Impression that the uceatloa
1 ,' V.'llh-hr. ulthn.it dlspoclt'on lulslit be
! calh nettlod If lo vero nennltted to wall;
ttnprote ted fur -ien u iv, t limit, i -n j'ty
Btr',i'; in .i-iniati. .
MIL 1 LTUlli: Of HUG IsI.A.l
X" ot.o l-.aa ai.y noults .ibojt the
t. in if Uo,; Ulan l a r.i. t..c ..iilpuui'.d
iniustiy of t'io l)jlaaii Uur ho
r:
-!-ou!i rtai tl- -i'm?.-l. fr iMr . Ivtiiffl.l
m onotlier pait of this licw-papc.1 tuCuy.
JXr. Knlg it .s .co picsldent un.l ftot.eral
co iriKl of the American Ir.tPi national eloi
poratlot', which bought tao Island and built
U o p:ant. Tho Government has supplied
ti.e metier ftr tho plant ur. trore is un
-i .-tngetiieiit under which It may buy the
fl'utid from the corporation ut a ptlee to
bo asreed on or the corporation may buy
the plant at a prlco to bo fixed by a group
of .ippraiserse, if the Gocrt.:ni at does no
i.aro to tul.'e title to lite land.
T'i9 ownership of this Kra: proporiy is
t.ot of sireat importnr.se. Whether it shall
ultimately ho bousht by Vns i.tt and the
State o.' whether tt tha'l be controlled by
the n.itlotril Govermnf-nt , r by a prlvato
corporation will bo settled .ucordlng to the
b-i Judgment of all concurned. V hat we
ate concerned v.lth ja-it now is tho con
tinued use of this shipyard and ocean ter
minal for tho benefit of tho natlo.i llrst and,
Incidentally, for the benefit of thla city.
It cannot bo abanuoned unles, thero Is
a fatal dearth of men wltu vision, foie.
sljht ana com ago. Wo oo not beiloio that
these la anj such dt'arth The bare state
ment of the world .shipping conditions Is
sufficient to Justify tho bellf that thtie is
commeir'.al genius enough at tho com
mand of this rity to keep tl.o Hog Island
plant and the otho. s'llpbulMlng plunts on
the lielawate m opera ttor fu eat to
roll!"
Hole aie the liLare. U'het. t.io wai
t'oga-i thtie vera CO.OOO.oou tons of ship
ping. This has betii reduted lO.uOO.UUO tofts
by tho submarlnus and bj other causes,
leaving at proacnt 40,000,001; tons, of which
about one half is lu such bad condition that
it must koo:. so to tuo scrap heap. There
aio, ther, iO.OuO.CCO tons of shlpplns which
will not have to bo- replaced In tho near
future. It is cstlmuted that t take earo of
tho world's tommcice from 15,000,000 to
60,000,000 tons of shipping will bo needed
within the nt'.t ten jtars. In order to pro.
lde this amount it will b necessary to
build lrom !i,000,000 to 4i,000,000 tons.
TliU must bo produced In tho shipyards
of tho world. Tho shipyards that build lit
fastest will be thoso which will get tho
business. A largo part of thin tonnago
must bo bulk In America and a lar;o part
of that built In America must he con
tracted on tho Delawnro Hlcr. The busi
ness is In nlifht. Tiu plants for bulldlnp
the ship aro In running order, with the
momentum acquired by the necessity of
rushing war work. The man vho believes
that wo aro truinpr to allow thl momentum
to be checked and permit tho -l.lpyards of
England, Prance, Germany and Japan to
do what w aro equipped to do has lost
faith In tl.o ability of his countrymen. We
aro not such pessimist.
The ships will bo built and many cf them
will ho built on tho Delawaro. If they
cannot sail tho seas under tho American
flag they will be eold to citizens of other
nations which Urow l.ow to keep their
merchant flag on tho hish teas.
But the war haa awakened tKIs peoplo to
tho needs of a merchant marine. Our ship
ping laws are so mistaken that If it had,
not been for the war thero would havo
been ycarcely au Vmerlcan ship on the
ocean today and our wholo forolgn trade
w ould havo boen carried In foreign bottoms.
But wo havo a merchant lleot now, not big
enough for our needs, but big enough t
show us what wo can do when tho laws
aie changed. As Mr. Knight says, we
must cither topcal the I.a rollotto bci
man'n law or wo must grant subsidies to
ahlp owners. It may bo that wo must do
bota. At any rate, wu must do whatever
is necessary to enable our shipping men to
compete with the shipping men of any
other maritime nation. Thero can bo no
doubt about this.
But neither new shipping laws nor sub
sidies will accomplish tho end unless our
chief ports ure equipped with tho most
approved facilities for loading and unload
ing the vessels. Every hour saved in port
means increased profit to the ship owners.
Kvcry doilee for oxp'dltlng the shifting
cf freight Horn tho railroads to tho ships
and from the ships to the railroads reduces
the time which a ship must remain In port.
Uvery business man knows this. And every
man familiar with tho Great Lakes knows
that American ingenuity has devised tho
most perfect machinery In the world for
handling certain kinds of freight. Tlio
eume Ingenuity will bo applied to handling
ocean freights right here in Philadelphia,
because this city is not going to lag behind
in the procession. Tho oppottunlty Is
calling and its live men havo hoard its
oic3, and they aro pieparlng to respond.
The future of Hog Island is secure, no
matter whether it is ultimately owned by
the American International Corporation,
the Poderal Gocrnment'or by a corpora
tion controlled by this city and this State.
Homebody has defined
Wo rlli t omldertnr Bolshevism as an url-
tatlon for the free
dom of the stlao. What could be mora
natural, therefore than un outbreak of that
new ntaltdy str.orif German soldleriT
"GET A
v'-t'f r '.
C'lUPUOll BALLS
'lo the Tuwn of lidjliilni
TTT.VJjLACIOI'P to,'n of Tiduhohu
Whei e Swedlch matches eome from,
fit all your Uo- thio'tgh which I oomb
Tom me I jet no crumb from.
rjNWOBTIIY town if Tidahomi,
'J My scratching I uin numb trom:
Your matches that Just tizz and foam
I'd like a rebate bum from.
rpiIU tedious town of Tidaholm
Tandstlckers all are bum from
I'll buy tho matches made at home
Wh'eh smokers aro less glurn from.
1-lven Vi.oube Saow, who roots for ihe
road of arithraclto, will admit that the
Chlmuy-rourmies-ki Capellc-tlulso road
nor. takes th'yplao of h.inor as the guat-.
eot highway in hlstorj.
'Hie X. S. M. s. M.
Jjeur t-'ocratcs You will, I know, bo
gratified to leatn that you hae beuu
olecttii u member of the National Soelotj
for tho Mitigation of Soldiers' MonumeiUHi
Tlio society is less than t'n years old, but
has a large, earnest and vlndictho mem
bership, and even duiing tho present war
has been ery active and succiseful. Owing
to Its propaganda tew soldicts" monuments
of tho well-known (Hoomy-Gus-leanlngon.
a-rifle typo hae been perpetrated sitiie
1D10, and those brazenly erected hue
yielded to certain persuaslvo measures on
dark nights and uro now greatly amelio
rated. You will bo interested in tho so
ciety's annual report, chowlng tlio in
genious wiy in which the fragments of
mitigated monumints havo foinid their
way through the windows of the commit
teemen who connived at their erection.
But there Is ptlll moio lmpottant woil,
awaiting our society. The grat war Is
drawing to a close. The United States has
given thousands of Its finest young men
to tho cause, and It la only right th.it their
communities should commemorato their
devotion. Our prominent cemcttiy do
plgnera ato already at work and much of
tho machinery has been built to turn out
on a production basis tho appalling figures
that misguided mayors will toon unblush
lngly unell If not Intimidated. Think
what every town park and village giecn
In America will look like ten jeaife from
now, with grand old Gloomy Gus In tin
trousers at one end. supported by plied
cannon balls, and Somber Fam ut the
other. In a tasteful circle of alternate slx
Inch shells and depth bombs!
I can teel jour bhuddcr at i,ho picture.
Permit mo, therefore, to break to ynu tho
news that the president, of our society has,
made jou a member of the new Committee
on Abatement, which within a fow weeks
is expected to have au agent in every
btone-cuttlng jard and bronze foundty in
the country. We shall shrink at nothing
to littaln our noble aim. Our children's
children must of course, he brought up to
hate war, but thero is there must be a
way to accomplish this other than by com
pelling them to suffer the utioelties about
to be attempted.
You can holp to sae America from one
of the worst consequences of tho world
conflict and I am confidently counting on
your co-operatioit. On receiving your ao.
coptance I shall send you the society's in.
structlons to neophytes, ono of our special
ten-pound sledge hammers, a list of the
fltoneyaidi and monuments tn your neigh)
NEW CHAUFFEUR, I RESIGN!"
i Ait- si-, csjlaJi sajs v , a. j-u"iJ. V -
-''.'", v, : r--,L ..
.-hv o. . ; v - . a. : i . "i
1 i'-'ti j -
t
Jr ' f --
borltood and an almanac showing the dial;
of tho moon. Yours for tho right,
!2L.imt pi.wynY uLiiNKjNfc'ur
, b'ecietai.
'Hie l'roicrb I'uitinj
If jour penknife is too keen jou cant
sharpen your pencil with lr. And If your
sense ot satire Is too cutting you'll blunt
most of jour friendships.
Suthetic Poem
I am ihe kind of boob
Who always asks
, When ho sends a telegram,
"That will get off right away, won't it.'"
Our Industrial Function
Dear HoeratcHl hao heard lecently
that tho wheels of inllway cats aro now
made of compressed paper. I write anx
iouslj' to inquire if thetUltorial'pagea of
newspapeis aro tnadj'for thla purpose,' for
ilillug on a train from Wilmington tba
other day it Feemcd In n- Uil wheels
hummed tho tefraln, "tViayfnj JjRh, JZult
her llreU, Ulcctrlo Chair, l.f'Ow lioom."
I should be sorry to think that tho poems
1 limp contributed to your co man aro put
to, such bau uses. DOVn 1)U1,CI1T,
(Jiir Dear 11ui.c It is quite turn thit tue
makers of car wheels have found In ti.e
editorial pases of tho press Just tho com
bination of tolldaiity and playful elasticity
so desliable In a car wheel. Hut way re
pine because our verses uro so used?
They get a much wider circulation In that
way thuti you could otherwise hop for.
Moreoer, no have been ndvlsul that tho
back numbers of the Chatting Dish aro only
used to make wheels for Pullman slecpeis,
as they hao a dull, monotonous and
smoothing drono that is ny agreeablo to
tho weary business man.
Tho only question now, Dove, .s to find
out. what you were doing nn a. sleeper
from Wilmington.
Hushiccs Men's, Lunch
Wo hear a good deal about tho foresight
and planning power of housewives, but
how about the huniblu ofnechusband?
Tuke us, for Instance. Kvcry Monday wo
always scheme out our luncheon menus
for tho whole week. This is tho wny they
look:
.Mond.iJ
Hot mlnco plo with vanilla,, Ico cream
on it. Coffee.
'I uesday x
Vunlllu Ice cream wlthhol mlnco pie
under it. Coffee.
Wednesil ij .
Cuffed with vanilla Ice eieam Iirii. Hot
mlnco pie.
'lliurnday
Vanilla ico crcum with coffee around It.
Hot mlnco pie.
Hot mince plo with cMiec neai it. Va
nilla Ice cream, j
Satunlaj
Coffee with hot mlnco pie adjoining" It.
Vanilla ice cream.
Simula) t
Indigestion. SOC1UTKS.
Wo hupo to Iho lung enough lo see
what the former Ucriuan Bmpernr looko lll.o
In an old derby hut and a pulr of oeiallfl.
Der Kaiser had a party once, Veie is
dot barty now?
The Dutch aro a thrifty people, and In
war and In peace they havo always mani
fested a great deal ot foresight. We assume,
therefore, that th,ey have looked well to bur-glar-shirni
yyatems.
wlVjTii
x L'
f ? isXfcfiJgf-i
i, .r.SStrF'7 Tj:
-' v
LET 'IHE I.EADrUa LLI)
"MOW that tho Republicans arc assulel
' of u tnajorlty In the ntt Coiisrros,
Jutt listed with tho yrae tusks of the fu
tare, it Is time that tho leaders bc'st t
consider n reform if the method o se
lecthiK committee chalrmol.
Custom, grown hoary by jtars of i -servance,
places ut tho head of eery com.
mlttoo the man who has sened longest en
it as a member of the existing majorltj.
Theio may bo better men on the coin
mlttee, hut they aro passed by In favor of
men who by good fortune have been able
to preset vc their political lives and retain
their teats.
Under this tulo the important commit
tees of the Houso havo been presided over
in the present Congress by men out of
isympathy with tho sentiment of tho na
tion, other ehatges could bo mado against
them, but this ono is sufficient. In the
Senate the late Senator Stone, of MlssouiS,
was chaliman of tho Committee on I'or
elifti ltelattons in the period when a pro-"
Ameticau rather than a paclllst afraa of
tho German vote should have directed Its
uoliberations. When affairs became acute"
ho had sense enough to remain out of the
committee room and permit others to look
utter its business.
Ti.e seniority rule, mitigated by the rule
of common sense, should commend itself
to both houses of Congress. There "hie
men thero who haio served fo;- jcars and
are also brilliant and able a.td deserve, the
chalimanshlps. There are others whose
only qualification lor a chairmanship is
length of sen ice. The constructive wort:
that must bo dono by the new Congress
is of such transcendent Importance that
the i tile of every successful business house
should bo adopted and tho men lltted .iiVsn,.1
lead snouiu ue piaeea in tuo positions oi
leadership.
It cannot be xant of
Vv ilhelni that he went
'lown und oJt. He
went out und down.
lie Ii. Still
rulllmr
. Tho Philadelphia man
The Visual Vt h.i who was sentenced t
n. year hi Jail foj
stealing an automobile tire would probably
have been tiding around In perfect safety if
he had, as they rudely tny, anltehed the car
Itself. ' '
Whin Do You Know?
QUIZ
1. Which member uf the Orrmmi armWtlce tuui.
tnlnKlnnrri. rnuta undrr the illnplrafture ot
( aptaln (oKhlau uf "W unil lintt' fume
ut Jlunlln llo In 18!)Hf
'i. Mhut u the undent capital of l'oland,"
3. Of ulnt ,rrnni Unciluui Ii llunurnlit (lit
CroHii I'rlure
4. Who until Thiiiixli the mllln of Cod rrlnJ
HloKly, )et they tirlml exit-edlnff fimtW't
5. What l the nirjnlnc uf the ord melange;
(I. W hat In a fnarl1Ul'e,.1 ,
., Whnt kind of m beard ! Unovwi ai nn lm.
perUlr
H. Mlmt l an euy war In illntlncnlili pUnetf
from o-callrd lined tar'.'
V, lion man' l'rMtnt vt thi Unltrii State
died In olflre?
10. Why U it liMiix-rlte tomettines tallrd a VttL-
mln".'
' imers to Saturdaj's Qntti
JMatahul Tunnue. the funioui lTemli
rmt under XaiuU XIV, lino a nstii
Sedan.
ll ten
lilo
of
.senator-elect, fcenberrr nu llenrr Tord'
nptionrnt In Mlrlilcan In the recent con.
icrcufclonul elntlon.
Zurich, wllh 21S.IHMI nopuliitlon, It the Uriett
clt lu hwllifrlund.
Toteen la Irleh uhltky from an Illicit kill).
0. miinoiar. . ued mostly In. Itaaala, at 'lea
urnn ulth an Interior heat tube.
C.
l'ec Modlntton wu noted IrUli aetreei.
If ,liit arm lllil,.n -
7.
(loethe In "Mpruclie In l'reta" rfulj " nm
U a ncro lo hl own ralet."
H. Honolulu Irt loeated op thti Itlanil of Qaba ia
the llaveailan srunp,
0, Queen Kllrabelh mi the Ut lujurralar at
a. riftalu mi . l l
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