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VERDUN
THE KISS OP THE COUNTRY
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THE TOONERVILLE TROLLEY
By FONTAINEFoJI
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There was great excjte
meht along the line the .
0& DAY THE SKIPPER BET' THAT V
COh. HENRY CUAY MEDDERS OF KY
COULDN'T MAKE HIS HORSE STAY
ON THE TRAILER FROM TOONER
VILLE To HOOTER'S POINT.
Naming the Boys
Tho way fach Idle Renlu" trips to
Blv our soldier boys a natno you'd
think a thoupnnd-dollnr prize wri off
ered or tho Hall of Fame would show
the portrait of the Kink who lilts upon
tho lucky word. And bo ten thousand
Bit and think of silly nicknames, most
absurd, as If a soldier couldn't flRht
unless you called him something bad
or somethlne very "cute" and trite, lo
sort of make him "flchtlnt:" mad." Be
lieve mo, when our boys bo In and start
to flRht, they'll mako u name and every
battle that they win will add a little to
Its fame. Don't wasto your thought and
stroncth and time to coin a nickname,
for they're sure to make, by bravery
sublime, a noble name that will endure I
WILL MOORK.
The Understudy
Tho lawyer had been consulted by
a dlscourafied-lookins man who pio-.
fesscd to bo in need ot a divorce.
"I don't see much chance for you,"
tho lawyer said. "I hardly think you
can get a separation from your wlfo
on tho pround of her throwing things
at tho dog,"
"But," said the hacBard-looklnB
man, "every time sho throws at the
dog sho hits me."
THE PADDED CELL
Extenuating Circumstances
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The reusing Show.
The Dellquent Well sir, It was this
way. I met some pals I hadn't seen
for ten years, and It was my first leave
for tno jcars, and begsln' your pardon,
sir, but as man to man, wouldn't you
have got soused?
From Pillar to Post
The financially Involved manufac
turer was obllBed to sack a porter
who had been for forty years In tho
service of the firm,
"I'm sorry, John, but you will have
to bo," he said.
"I'm sorry, myself," said John. "If
T had known It wasn't going to be a
steady Job I wouldn't have taken it."
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A Bad Predicament
A Westchester County man took hit
numerous progeny to a county fair.
As they moved about tho grounds,
the father felt his fifth born tugging
at his coattalls. Ho turned, and the
youngster begged him to buy somi
candy.
"Buy it yourself," said the father.
"Where's tho dime I gave you a lit
tie while ago?"
"It's down my nock."
"Well, shako it out!"
VBut, dad, I can't. It was in my
mouth when It went down."
The Young Lady Across the Way
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The yours lady across the way '?
that for her part she never would con
sent to any peace that would t'Hjij
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