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EVENING LEDGER PHILADELPHIA, THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 26, ldt.
SCENES AND EVENTS IN THE NEWS OF THE DAY
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NEW TYPE OF BRITISH ARMORED CAR
It holds two Vickers machine guns and is manned by two naval lieutenants.
Photo by Thorapion.
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WHEN A FELLER NEEDS A FRIEND: BY BRIGGS
THE KID'S CHRONICLE
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a gr.ito Bcncral perhaps
you to say It wunta or
SAT, pop, I setl to ptfp nftlr supptr
last nttfl.
Say it, sed pop. Sttenlng wat did I
wunt.
Ja It rone to say licit, I fed.
Most decidedly, aed pop, unless yUre
a mlnlatlr, then pceptl no yuro ony men
tloirinK It .in a local habitation and not
as a sware werd.
Well Sherman sed It, I sed.
Sherman was n srato general, sed pop,
i mlnlstlrH and grato generals are excused,
won you nro
I shall allow
twlse a wevk.
And he kqpp awn trying: to make his
segar llghtlr work and I kepp wn lay
Jng awn tho floar wnndlrlng wat wood
happln It T dlcAcnt do my homowerk, and
nftlr a wtlo I eed. Say, pop.
Hello, central, give this .porsln the
infoammyshln bowro, sed pop.
It Is rons to say hclthy, I aed.
TVy shood It be, sed pop.
Its got a hell In it. I sed.
Help, sed pop.
Q, pop, thats got a. hell in it, to, I sed.
And so have you. you llttlo dowll, sed
pop, now If I heer anuthlr peep out ot
you consernlng: that questionabll resort
III send you to bed.
Wich I dldent say euy moar about It,
Jest laying tharo own the carplt, and
nftlr a wlls I sed, Say, pop.
Bo carcdll, sed pop.
Is It very mutch worso to say. This
Is dam wenthlr we aro having, than. This
is damp weathlr we are having,. I sed.
Jest wun moar sillabll out ot you and
youll find tho particuler weathlr wlch
will follow will bo both damp and helthy,
sed pop.
So I started to do my hoamwork.
Scandal
"I've got something I want to tell you.
Tou haven't heard about the shocking"
Blllinger scandal, have you?"
"Tea. I've heard about it at least four
times. You're late."
"That's funny. It wits told at tho club
for tho first time, nnd everybody tfcsre
promised not to repeat It." Topeka
Journal.
asked
What It Stood For
"Have you any fresh eggs
tno American in London.
"Ves, mum, plenty," said the clerk.
"Them with a hen on 'cm aro fresh."
"I don't seo any with a hen on them,"
s.tld Mrs. X , looking around for u
nest.
"Tho letter 'hen.' mum. not the bird.
'Hen' stands for 'noo-lald.' mum." New
York Sun.
Sure Thing
"What are the bonds of matrimony?"
"IJttby ribbon." Cornell Widow.
A Tough Job
"I don't know how to take this chicken
apart." declared the brido.
"Well, w tackled nn automobile. sUo
cessfully," said the youns husband. "W
ought to be able to handle a small Job
llko this. Where's the book of instruc
tions?" Now York World.
In Mineralogy
Professor Name the largest known
diamond.
Mr. A. Th oce. California Pelican.
Pointed Out
"That's whero I shine," said the young:
man. as ha showed bti bluo suit to th
tallor.-Comell Widow.
Natural Query
"Jones has offered to sell his automo
bile at a. low figure."
"Which Is broke, Jones or the machine V
Boston Transcript
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I'm
Fatal Disease
A young painter who had Just finished
a picture Insisted upon a friend calling
to seo It. "There, now," enthused the ar
tist, "you see my picture. What's the
matter with that?'
"I don't know,' replied the bored friend,
"but I should say It was a case of art
failure." Chicago Herald.
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AN OLD THANKSGIVING PROCLAMATION
It hangs in Independence Hall. It was issued in 1792 by Josiah Bartlett,
"president and commander-in-chief of New Hampshire.
--rhoto by CUnedlnst.
GOV. COLE BLEASE, OF SOUTH CAROLINA
His Thanksgiving gift to 101 convicts was freedom.
Since he took office in 1911 he has pardoned 1430
prisoners.
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The One Idea
"My dear, you ought to pass up frivo
lous things and take an interest In deep
subjects. Take history, for Instance.
Hero is an interesting- Item. Gessler, the
tyrant, put up a hat for the Swiss to
salute."
Tho lady was a trifle Interested.
"How wan It trimmed?" she inquired.
Louisville Courier-Journal.
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"ME AND
--Front th St.
ALLAH"
I.oul Pot-DIpatcb
By Breaking Its Wings
"I see. John, whero the Oerman army
has a right and a left wing; It can't fly.
1
Mistaken Identity
Miss Hobbs I saw your wife yesterday.
Mr. Bobbs-Did yout What did sho
havo to say?
Miss Hobbs-Oh! Nothing.
Mr. Bobb That wasn't my wife From
Puck.
Shocking
Mistress (Indignantly) Jane, whatever
did you mean by wearing" my low-necked
evening dress at tho bus-drivers' ball
last night. Really, you ought to have
been ashamed of yourself!
Jane (meekly) I was, mum. You never
'eerd such remarks as they made
Sketch (London).
can it?"
"The Allies are
Houston Post.
trying to make It."
Easy
"Pa, what la meant by tho psychological
moment?"
"When I gtvo your mother a check my
son, that la the psychological moment for
mo to tell her I won't bo hdme until lit.'
Birmingham Age-Herald.
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-From Lif.
Practicing
Friend Why, that's a record of your
wife talking!
JtfnesWYea. I'm learning to talk back
to her.
Didn't Apply
"I bellevo In the motto, "Never put o
till tomorrow what you qan da today."
"Pay ma that five dollar, then."
"The rula doesn't apply; that's sow
thing I can't do today.' Boston Tra'n
script-
--FbK by lUrrU fc KwUg.
WIFE OF OHIO'S NEW GOVERNOR
Mrs. Frank B. Willis, her friends say, may
be the nest first lady of the land, as
hw httsMfld M frf iuUy SMttiaed as a
gettWfeUCMiWPilttiaiftliAS ,
Ptoto by TfcomsJOB.
LEADER OF ARMY SOCIETY
Mrs. Hugh L. Scott is the wife of the new
Chief of Staff of the United State Army
and as sueb is ths official teadec of army
!iltfr ... . ,
- Fboto by Ttiomjiwo.
SETS HIS OWN AGE LIMIT AT 100
United States Senator Robert L. Owen of
Oklahoma, now in his 58th year, predicts
that he will live to be a 100 and says that
any cm who Hves the staple Nfe ean liv
to faes jjf eW age,
ti
Ethel Oh, dear me! I don't know what
to think! Algy asked me last night If I
wouldn't like to have something; around
the house that I ould lave, ad tint
would lve m.
Hdith-WeHI
Hthel-Well. I don't kiww vhihr be
t meana himself, or whether hs la thtskteg
of buyltig at a. degf Fuak.
Mathematics
"Say, do they figure your birthday trota
the day you're laid or tho day you're
hatehed?" From Puck.
Eis Gratification
"I tell you," said PooU, "tharo U an
tBdosertoaUo sens at huufy Is Vyig in
bed and rlBglss one's boli tor his valot''
Ym'r 8r ?s' mm-
"No." rortW Tut. Pro got a
fea,"-1Rssi 4f
WhichP
Just to Bash Something Off
"Let mo. " satd tba editor ta a aew
acnuijUisp. a gradual of tho Celie ot
JourualUm. "I hardly know what A Et
you at" ' "
"gnUl you daaUe." reeled Um awi,
"Plj, ait down ad write a fw loadtaa
odttatlala." Tka, Jomtuat
. Synonymous Talk
llow'B eveotblng iu your huuao?'
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JoaBrw, -fc,', affrtsf' f P ? ta.
y Jcuxaji J ubiit isn't m;mMHto!ti
Tke Difference
"Ho, Algsixooii. there is a dIei-Bc .
twwMi a ttxManntot and taxi-caMac 4-
ana s. untM
sabiufl igigQmx?
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