:...:, - L: - 3 Iti.b.Ll' 1 , .F.L.a:1,!. 7 '1 4'' . ' - '. - '._.•...,i. , .._'4:::'.;4 . 0t...' : :.::...... , ....• .. ...-'n* : 4.: -. ,.*/. - 0 VOL. LXIV rEE LANOASTE3 INTELLIGENCER. BLISEID IMLAY ',UNBOLT ' AT NO. 8 NORTH DUES 13L1117, SY GEO. SANDERSON. TERMS Susscauvrow.—TWO Dollars per annum, payable - In ad vance. No subscription discontinued until all arrest siva are paid, noises at the option of the Editor. Anvistrummxne.--Advertisements, not exceeding one square, (12 linee,) will be Inserted three times for one dollar, and twenty-five cents for each additional iniser; tion. Those of greater length in proportion. Jos PRINTING—Su ell to Hand Bills, Posters, Pamphlets, Blanks, Labels, &c., ke., executed with ascot:my and on the shortest notice. SCHOOL OF OLDEN TIMES The sohools—the ec bools of other days! Those were the schools for me, When in a frock and trowsers dressed, I learned my A, B, C. When, with my dinner in my hat, I trudged away to school ; Nor dared to stop, as boys do now, For school ma'am had a rule. And if a traveler we met, We threw no sticks nor stones, To fright the horses as they passed, Or break good people's bones. But with our hats beneath our arms, We bent our heads full low, • For ne'er the school ma'am failed to ask, "Boys, did you make a bow ?" And all the little girls with us Would courtesy full low, And hide their ankles 'neath their gowns— Girls don't have ankles uow. We stole no fruit, nor tangled grass; We played no noisy games, And when we spoke to older folks, Put handles on their names. And when the hour for school had come, Of bell we bad no need; The school ma'am's rap upon the glass Each one would quickly heed. That school ma'am! heaven bless her name, When shall we meet her like? She always wore a green calash,_ A oalioo vandyke. She never sported pantalettes— Nor silks on her did rustle— Her dress hung gracefully all around— She never wore a bustle. With modest mien and loving heart Her daily task was done; As true as needle to the pole, The next one was begun. The days were all alike to her, The evenings just the same, And neither brought a change to us, Till Saturday forenoon came. And then we had a "spelling match," And learned the sound of A ; The months and weeks that mado the year, The hours that made the day. And on that day we saw her smile, Nouther time smiled she; 'Twas when she told us learnedly When next "leap year" would be Alas! kind soul ! though leap year came And went full many a time, In `, sing! e-blessedness " she toiled, Till far beyond her prime. But now, indeed, her toils are o'er, Her lessons are nil said, Her rules well learned—her words all spelled, She's gone op to the head. OLD FRIENDS All gone but you and I, old friend! All gone but you and I! What do we hero, when in their graves Our old companions lie? Not suddenly they went away, But slowly, one by ono; Till now we idly gaze around And see that all are gone. Closer and closer every year The narrowing circle grew ; Until, of all that cheerful band, But I remain end you. And thinking of our youth, old friend ! And all our life-long years, My half-numb'd heart almost o'erflows In a burst of warm tears. For all things for the worse, old friend ! Sean strangely chang'd since then : The women's faces were more fair, And hesrtier were the men. The seasons are all altered too— Less genial—nay, quite_eold : Why, summer soarce is warmer now Then winter wee of old ! And thinking of the past, old friend And thinking of the past, A selfish wish springs in my heart That I should not be last; But that you, old and trusty friend ! Should stand by my death-bed, Receive the last look from my eyes, And close them when I'm dead. Yes, clasp again my hand, old friend! But turn not eo away; Let's hope to wear each other out, And die upon one day ! THAT DREADFUL MONSTER. BY GEORGE TALCOTT " Appearances deceive, And this one maxim is a standing rule— Men are not what , they seem." Little Mrs. Lawson, when her husband died and left her nothing but the inheri tance of poverty and two small children— a trio of incumbrances, forming a rather serious burden for the slender shoulders of a lonely widow—was compelled to fall back upon the only alternative left for -lonely widows in general, when their im provident husbands die and leave them wholly unprovided for ; she took boarders. Now of all the unfortunate little women in the world, Mrs. Lawson was peculiarly unfitted for the slavish and soul-harrow ing position which she so reluctantly as sumed, as mistress, or landlady of a boarding-house for the accommodation of gentlemen in the middle walks of life— gentlemen of more pretension than capi tal, who, combining a rigid private econo my with an inordinate desire for external show, are perpetually striving to seem what they are not, and growling on ac- oount of the absence of luxuries for which they are unwilling or unable to pay.— ' They are a tedious and an exacting set, these moneyless aristocrats, who visit the sins of omission, on the part of Fortune, with a heay vengeance on the heads of such small contributors to •their personal comfort as widow landladies; impoverished laundresses, newspaper carriers, and boot blacks. Poor Mrs. Lawson had not a single qualification for her new and most unwel come calling. Her sensitiveness amount ed to a mental disease; she was the most timid little creature in the world ; she believed everybody to be as good and guileless as herself, and she had not the smallest particle of business capacity.— Now a woman to be a successful and well renumerated caterer to the multifarious wants of single gentlemen, must be a modern Xantippe, with lungs of brass, a heart of adamant, an eye at once cold, calculating and penetrating, and percep tive faculties so keen and infallible, ,that she can tell at a glance the honest boarder with> pure intentions, and the specious rogue with his trunk atmospherically filled and an incurable propensity to step out' at the end of a week with his board bill unpaid. • Mrs. Lawson was no such treasure of a woman' as this ; but bless ings on her mild blue eyes and fair young face, all her thoughts and acts were womanly and not at all mercenary ; no suspicion of human dishonesty could ever Sufis place in her simple mind; and the overcharging butcher, the unprincipled grocer, and the inaccurate baker whose mistakes were all in his own favor, found in her , an easy-and uneemplaining victim. Her servants, too, usurped her place, and, became her mistresses ; she meekly re- quested when she should have commanded ; and the menials wasted her substance, abused her good nature, and laughed at her amiable simplicity. • _ Surrounded by such annoyances as these, Mrs. Lawson soon became the most miserable.little woman in: the world, and bitterly did she feel the loneliness of her situation, and her need of a counsellor and friend. . Her poor feet were kept, all day and half the night trotting from garret to kitchen and back again, trying to keep things to rights, and performing duties which properly belonged to her insolent and negligent servants. And then her heart was well nigh broken by her con stant and almost fruitless efforts to make both ends meet. Often, when the night was far advanced, after a day of anxiety and exhausting toilotvould throw her self into a chair, and weep bitter tears as she exclaimed. Oh, dear me ! this life will kill me, I know it will. If it wasn't for the children I would give up trying to keep boarders and go out to work as a servant. I vow and declare I would ; there now !' Mrs. Lawson, as might be expected, be came the prey of those remorseless ban ditti who go about poor widow's boarding houses seeking what they may devour wit Nit payment. Nice young men with fee moustaches but creditable appe tites, engaged Monday morning before breakfast, audaciously demanded night keys as necessary preliminaries to their inauguration into the house, approved of and ate everything placed before them with the most patronizing condescension, kept late hours, left the incense of tobacco smoke in their bedrooms, muddied the sofa with incorrect boots, damaged the piano by unskilful attempts to play, in vited voracious and intoxicated gentlemen friends to dinner, neglected to bring any baggage at all with them, and punctually disappeared ever' Saturday evening after tea, never coming back again, leaving poor little Mrs. Lawson to wonder what could have become of them, and to hope nothing evil had befallen them. Pale, melancholy young men with long hair and Byronic collars sojourned with her for a time, inquired for the nearest place of worship, sang hymns and extorted agonizing complaints from cracked flutes at midnight, touched their waistcoat and hinted at the existence of secret sorrows,' made fearful havoc on tea and toast, and finally forgot the number of the house and could never find their way back to it. And certain articles lying loose about the house had been known to disappear with them—a dressing-gown, an umbrella, or mayhap, an article of jewelry. Middle-aged and even ancient cormor ants wouid also plunder the widow by gorging themselves with her edibles, and then sloping incontinently, without a set tlement. In short, she became the victim of all sorts of unprincipled scoundrels ; for there are beings who do not scruple to take base advantage of a friendless woman like her, and even chuckle over their suc cessful villainy as if they had achieved a very successful trick indeed. One day, right in the midst of all her troubles, our unhappy heroine had her sorrows temporarily alleviated by the ac quisition of two new boarders, perfect strangers to her and to each other ; and nothing could be more striking than the contrast between the gentlemen, the one being a young man of twenty-three or thereabouts, with pink cheeks, flaxen hair, a pale moustache and sky blue necktie.— A nicer' lookin. b young man than Mr. Trimmins—for that was his name—never gladdened the heart of a boarding-mis tress, and his manners were fully up to his appearance—he was so polite, so kind, so indisputably genteel ! He engaged the best room in the house, and arranged to have his meals served up to him there ; for which extra accommodation he agreed to pay most liberally. His baggage was light, consisting merely of a valise and a roll of paper ' garrottes ;' and he laugh ingly explained the seeming scarcity of his personal effects by remarking that the bulk of his baggage' he was accustomed to keep at his office,' while he merely re tained a few elegant trifles,' at his board irig house, just for the sake of a bache lor's convenience.' This was all highly satisfactory to Mrs. Lawson, who thanked her lucky stars for having guided into her unpretending man sion such a paragon of a boarder. Her other fresh acquisition caused her some uneasiness. He was a gruff fellow, not far from the sober age of forty, with a scarred and swarthy face, and C an eye like Jove, to threaten and command.' His voice was deep, and not destitute of a cer tain heartiness that partly atoned for the abrupt and almost rude style of his speech. His form, a muscular and a manly one by the way, was clothed in gentlemanly ha biliments, carelessly worn, his overcoat was of fur and in it he looked like a per ambulating bear. His beard was piratical, and his baggage abundant; a great, iron bound chest reminded one of a coffin, and he hung around his room a perfect mus eum of pipes, from the stately meerschaum with its bowl of a rich brown color and its silver stopper, down to the modest clay 6 cludeen ' of facetious pattern and over powering odor. Worse than all this, he was accompanied by a gigantic New Folindland dog of shaggy aspect and an independence of deportment ihat amount ed to insolence : and this highly objection able animal, having taken a fancy to Mrs. Lawson, persisted in frightening that timid little woman clean out of her wits, by in stituting close examinations of her coun tenance whenever they met, and taking a deep interest in every culinary operation in which he chanced-to find her engaged. Blowser' soon became an . immense favor ite with Mrs. Lawson's children, and with the majority of the boarders; but towards the superfine Mr. 'Primmins he displayed the utmost hostility from the first—wor rying that gentleman's legs in the pas sages, and making dread onslaughts on his coat-tails at all times and in all places.— Mr. Trinamins, • writhing under a deep sense of injury in consequence of these manifold annoyances, pronounced Blowser " 6 an ugly brute,' and privately added that his master was not much better. He didn't tell him so, however. Capt. Grigg was the unpoetioal name of the unprepossessing boarder. By some he was supposed to be a retired; sea nil tain by othere a reformed pirate,, livin. b on the prodeeds of his villainies. He smoked ,:incessantly, :drank; . britidy and wafer at the dinner . .tablei and scowled horribly at Mr. Triminine whenever he "THAT COUNTRY 18 THI HOST PAOSPHHOUB WHIHZ LABOR OOKHANDS THE GRIATIST BIHARD."-BIJOHANAN. LANCASTER CITY, PA., TUESDAY MORNING, JULY 28, 1863. met that prim and proper personage on his way into Or out of the house. The saucy and spoiled servants, who made themselves the equals and boon compan ions of all the other inmates of the estab lishment, soon wilted beneath the fierce eye of the savage captain, whose every look and action towards them was a pan tomimic injunction for them to 'keep their places, and no nonsense.' With the chil dren of his little landlady. he was a pro digious favorite, frequently making them handsome presents, and telling them out rageously improbable stories, to their huge delight. Ho would suffer them to play and romp in his room for hours, convert ing it into a Bedlam of noise and confu sion ; he would sometimes even grimly join in their. sports, like a rhinoceros of playful g temperament gamboling among kids. When the little widow saw his gruff partiality for her offsprings, she secretly hoped that his motives were good, and that he wasn't one of those dreadful can nibals she had read about, who devour young children or bolt a missionary with as much gusto as an epicure does the wing of a duck. A couple of months rolled by. Mr. Trimmins was as polite and agreeable as ever—but—paid no board ; his elevated mind was probably above the contempla tion of a subject so sordid. Mrs. Lawson began to wonder and feel a little embar rassed, for Mr. Trimmins occupied her best room, and ordered the most expensive things for his private table, being scorn fully dissatisfied with the ordinary fare of the other boarders. Capt. Grugg, on the contrary, though such a perfect brute,' in many respects, paid his board every week with the most scrupulous punctuality, and whenever he received change back, he al ways threw it to the children. Upon one occasion, this marine monster actually ex cited the warm gratitude of the poor little widow, in this wise : A cormorant of a fel low, who was known to be a long time in arrears for board, was at last told by Mrs. Lawson, in a desperate fit of courage, that she could keep him no longer, whereupon he left in high dudgeon. A few days after wards, the captain chanced to meet him in an exchange office, taking possession of a considerable sum of money ; whereupon the captain collared him without ceremony, and walked him down to the house of the widow whom he would have swindled, tell ing him that the slightest resistance would secure for him a tremendous flogging. Arrived at the widow's, the captain, with his brawny fist held close to the delin quent's head, made him discharge every cent of his indebtedness ; and this act of involuntary justice having been performed, the captain quietly kicked the rascal out of the house, telling him to beware how he tried to impose on a poor woman in the future. This act, if not strictly legal on the part of the captain, was not far from right, ds the reader will allow. The widow felt truly grateful to the cap tain for this, but still she feared him, for he scowled as terribly as ever, while Blow zer, vagabond dog that he was, continued to be impertinently inquisitive in every thing pertaining to the domestic affairs of the house.. One evening, Mrs. Lawson was sitting in the kitchen alcne, her children having been put to bed, while the servants had all gone out. Many of her boarders were in her debt, but none so deeply as Mr. Trim mins. She had half made up her mind to dun' him that day, but when just on the point of knocking at his door for that pur pose, her courage failed her, for she felt she could not run the risk of offending that nice and pleasant young gentleman by in viting his attention to such a common place subject as the payment of his board bill.— Her rent was due the next day , her un paid provision man was clamorous for his money ; her grocer, her baker, and even her purveyor of diluted milk, were her im patient creditors ; and she had not five dollars in the world to satisfy their de mands. So there she sat alone in the kitchen, poor forlorn, little women not knowing how to extricate herself from the maze of difficulties in which she was in volved, and sobbing and crying as if her heart would break. Something moist touched her hand, and startled her ; it was only the nose of Blow zer, that brigand of a dog, for he would intrude upon her when his presence was least desired. Bat now his great, intelli gent eyes seemed to express sympathy, and the widow, still weeping, patted his huge head, a courtesy which he acknowl edged by wagging his tail in a very civili zed manner, considering that he was the companion of a suspected cannibal and an undoubted pirate. What's the matter with yom, ma'am?' growled a gruff voice over the shoulder of Mrs. Lawson, who jumped up from her chair in a fright—for it was the voice of that monster, Captain Grugg ; and looking timidly up she saw the stern, rugged coun tenance of that savage mariner as it was imperfectly visible through the dense cloud of tobacco-smoke that enveloped it. The little widow trembled as violently as if she had been caught mixing plaster of Paris with the dough for the boarder's biscuits, or infusing deleterious foreign substances into the coffee destined for their next matutibal repast. She tried to stammer out some kind of a reply, but broke down and began to cry harder than ever. Ugh ! what a little fool,' growled the sea-monster, rubbing his eyes violently ; d—rt this tobacco ! it fairly brings the water into my peepers. Tell me what's matter, ma'am, and don't act so confound edly silly !' The words were rough, but the tone was friendly ; and Mrs. Lawson felt that nat ural wish experienced by most people in distress, to impart her troubles to another. So she told the captain all, and a little in genious cross-questioning on his part elicited from her the reluctant confession that Mr. Trimmins had not paid her a sin gle cent since he first entered the house as an occupant of her best room. D—d scoundrel !' growled the captain. g I will attend to him, however. Bat, ma'am how comes it that in all your trou bles you never came to me for help Oh ! ah !—I forgot. You thought, with all the rest of 'em, that I was a brute. You must learn never to trust to appearances, ma'am. Now I am going to board with you a whole year at least, for I like your woman ly and quiet ways, your careful attention to .my comfort ; it may be, too, that I rather like your face, so pleasant, though so sad, and your. eyes, naturally bright and joyous, but toO,often .dhu with tears. And so, as Pin _going to stay here, I'll pay you a year's board in advance—and here's the money. Get some color into that pale face ; let your eyes dance as merrily as they were made to do, and don't fear for the future. I'll see to that—and to Mr. Trimmins, too. Good night ma'am.' The grim monster kissed the little hand into which he forced a roll of bank-bills, and was gone—he and that impudent dog of his, as arrant a pair of deceivers as ever concealed diamond qualities beneath rough and unpromising exteriors. Next day the grateful widow satisfied her creditors, and was happy. Somehow she didn't fear the monster quite so muoh as formerly, and Blowaer's society was tol erated without a sign of disapproval. Two or three days after this oecur rence, the captain walked into the house holding in his haili a newspaper, and look ing uncommonly ferocious. He went straight to the apartment of Mr. Trimmins, and, striding in without the slightest ceremony, found that young gentleman extended upon the sofa, industriously en gaged in his constant employment of fond ling his moustache. This is my private room, sir,' said Mr. Trimming, indignantly. Yon might at least have knocked before coming in.' No palaver, you scoundrel !' roared the captain, or I'll break every bone in your worthless body. ° I have long sus pected you, robber of poor women that you are. I have found you out at last, and shall now expose and punish you as you deserve. This New York paper, which I have just received through the post-office from a friend of mine,:iiontains a long ac count and an exact description of a swin dler who has for a longtime been cheat ing the proprietors of hotels and board ing-houses out of their just dues. Nor is that all ; for he is also a petty thief, hav ing at various times carried off with him small articles belonging to others. He calls himself Charles Augustus Fitz-Hen ry DeConrtenay, alias Poodle, alias Cod ger, alias the Lord knows what ; and upon his right arm is indelibly marked the name of If you are not the scoundrel, just roll up your sleeve, and let me see your right arm. I shall do no such thing, sir,' cried the fellow, turning pale and red alternate ly. lam a gentleman, and—' Hark'ee, then, Mr. Gentleman : I know you to be the party described in this pa per. Now confess your identity, or I'll wring your neck. Look at me well.— Am I a man likely to be trifled with I' He certainly was not—and so thought Mr. Trimmins, who forthwith fell upon his knees, confessed his villainy, and blubber ingly implored for mercy like the abject coward that he was. The captain sternly bade him get up and travel,' which he proceeded to do with much alacrity, being materially aided in his retreat by the toe of a boot, and the encouragements of Blowzer, that sagacious animal attending him to the door to the serious detriment of his coat tails and contiguous portions of his raiment. Just as Mr. Trimmins reached the side walk, his valise and a shower of dingy paper garrottes ' descended upon his head ; and, picking up the former article, he'quickly disappeared around a neigh boring corner amid the shouts and jeers of an admiring and appreciative audience composed of miscellaneous juveniles. Well, in due lime—and has not the reader already guessed the denouement of our story ?—the little widow became the wife of the monster, and the diminutive Lawsons found in him the gruffest, the oddest, the most indulgent, and the kind est of fathers. He possessed a sufficiency of worldly goods to obviate the necessity of his wife's keeping boarders. She, good little soul, acknowledged to him that Trimmins had once made violent love to her, and that she, in her dreary loneliness, had been almost tempted to accept him.— She was truly thankful for her escape, and looking up from the depths of her soft, blue eyes into the rough but kindly face of her husband, she would kiss his weather-beaten cheek and declare herself the happiest little woman in the world be cause she had opened her house and her heart to such a dreadful monster.' AN ITEM FOR THE HOME CIRCLE.- Somebody says, and truly too, that there are few families, anywhere, in which love is not abused as furnishing the license for impoliteness. A husband, father, or broth er, will speak harsh words to those he loves beat, simply because the security of love and family pride keeps him from get ting his head broken. It is a shame that a man will speak more impolitely, at times, to his wife or sister, than he would to any other female, except a low and vicious one. It is thus that the honest affections of a man's nature prove to be a weaker protec tion to a woman in the family circle than the restraints of society, and that a woman ,usually is indebted for the kindest polite ness of life to those not belonging to her own household. Things ought not to be so. The man who, because it will not be resented, inflicts his spleen and bad tem per upon those of his hearthstone, is a small coward and a very mean man. Kind words are circulating mediums between true gentlemen and ladies at home, and no polish exhibited in society can atone for the harsh language and disrespectful treat ment.too often indulged in between those bound together by God's own ties of blood, and the more sacred bonds of conjugal love. I2J — A chapter in Appleton's Oplopm dia has this to say about the old-fashioned treatment of bachelors : In antiquity it was considered unpa triotic in a citizen to remain a bachelor all his days. By the Spartan laws, those citizens who remained bachelors after middle age, were excluded from all offices, civil and military. At certain feasts they were exposed to public derision, and led around - the market place. Although gen erally speaking, age was usually deeply respected at Sparta, yet this feeling was not manifested to old bachelors. ' Why should I make way for you?' said a Spar tan youth to a gray-headed old bachelor, , who will never have a son to do me the same honor when lam old' The Roman law pursued the Same policy towards . baohelors. They had to pay extra and special taxes, and under Augustus a law was enacted, by which baohelors were made incapable of acquiring 'legacies and devises of real estate by will; except from I their near relations. In canon law baohe lars are enjoined to marry, or to iirofees chastity in earnest by becoming monks. PREACHING A. PRACTICAL SERMON.- A number of years ago, Parson B. preach ed in a town in the interior of this State A sound theologian was Parson 8., as a published volume of his sermOns evinces ; but like many 'clergymen of the, past gen eration, he was too much given to preach ing I doctrinal sermons,' to the exclusion of practical themes ; at least, so thought one of his parishioners, Mr. C. Mr. 8.,' said he one day to the clergyman, ewe know all about the doctrine by this time. Why don't you preach real practical discourses Oh ! very well. If you wish it, I will do so. Next Sunday I will preach a praoti oal sermon. Sunday morning came, and an unusually large audience, attracted by the report of the promised novelty, were in attendance. The preliminary services were performed, and the parson announced his text; Opening. his subject,' he said he should make a practical application to his hearers. He then commenced at the head of the aisle, calling each member of the congregation by name, and pointing out his special faults. One was a little in clined to indulge in creature comforts ; another was a terrible man at a bargain, and so on. While in mid volley, the door of the church opened, and Dr. S. entered. 'there,' went on the parson, 'there is Dr. S. coming in, im , the middle of services, just as I usual, and disturbing the whole oongrega tion. He does it just to make people be lieve that he can't get time to y come to church in season ; but it isn't so—he has not been called to visit a patient on a Sun day for three months.' Thus went on the wordy clergyman. At last he came to Mr. C., who had requested a praotioal ser mon. And now,' there is Mr. C. ; he's a merchant—what does he do'? Why, he stays at home on Sunday afternoon to write business letters. If he gets a lot of goods up from Now York on Saturday night, he goes to the store and marks thereon Sun day, so as to have them ready for sale on Monday morning. That's how he keeps the Sabbath ; and he isn't satisfied with doctrinal sermons; he wants practical ones.' At the conclusion of the services, the par son walked up to Mr. C., and asked him how he liked the practical sermon.'- 4 Mr. 8.,' was the reply,' preach what you please after this, I'll never attempt to di rect you again:— Christian Inquirer MIL WEBSTER, AND HIS BILS.-Our readers are aware that the late Hon. Dan iel Webster was not so careful in his pecu niary matters as some men, and this fault was at times taken advantage of. At one time a poor man sawed a pile of wood for him, and having presented his bill, it was promptly paid by Mr. Webster. The la borer took sick during the winter, and a neighbor advised him to call upon Mr. Webster for•the payment of his bill. But he has paid me.' said the man. No matter,' replied his dishonest ad viser, call-again with it. He don't know, and don't mind what he pays. It is a very common thing for him pay much smaller bills over twice.' The man - got well, and carried in his account the second time. Mr. Webster looked at it, looked at the man, remeniber edhim, but paid the bill without demur ring. The fellow got short ' sbme three or four months afterwards, and bethought him of the generosity and loose manner of Mr. Webster in his money matters and a third time he called and presented the bill for sawing the wood. Mr. Web ster, took the account, which he immedi ately recognized, and scanning the wood sawyer a moment, he said : ' How do you keep your books, sir I keep no books,' said the man abash ed. • c I think you do sir,' continued Mr. Webster, with marked emphasis ; ' and you excel those who are satisfied with the double entry system. Yon keep your books upon a triple entry plan, I observe.' Tearing up the account, Mr. Webster added : Go, sir, and be honest hereafter. I have no objections to paying these little bills twice, but I cannot pay them three times. You may retire.' The man left the room, feeling as though he was suffocating for want of air. He had learned a lesson that lasted through life. SAROASTIO SENTENOE.—OId Elias Keyes, formerly first judge of Windsor county, Vt.; was a strange composition of folly and good sense, of natural shrewd ness and want of cultivation. The follow ing sentence, it is said, was pronounced upon a poor ragged fellow, convicted for stealing a pair of boots from Gen. Curtis, a man of considerable wealth in the town of Windsor : Well,' said the judge very gravely, before pronouncing the sentence of the court, undertaking to read the fellow a lecture, ' You're a fine fellow to be ar raigned before the court for stealing— They say' you are poor—no one . doubts it who looks at you, and how dare you being poor, have the impudence to steal a pair of boots ? Nobody but rich people have a right to take snob things without pay ing ! Then they say you are worthless— that is evident from the fact that no one has ever asked justice to be done to you ; all, by unanimous consent, pronounced you guilty before you were tried. Now you might know you would be condemned.— And now you must know that it was a great aggravation, that you stole them in that large town of Windsor. In that large town to commit such an act is most hor rible. And not only, go into Windsor to steal, but you must steal from that great man, Gen. Curtis. This caps the climax of your iniquity. Base wretch !—why did you not go and steal the only pair of boots which some poor man had or could get 1 And then you would have been det alone, nobody would have troubled themselves about the act. - For your iniquity in steal ing in the great • town of Windsor, and from the great Gen. Curtis, the court sen tences you to three month! imprisonment in the county jail, and may God give you something to eat.'—Bennington Gazette. A PEDLAR'S SELL.--‘ Buy one of these superior razor strops, sir, and I will tell you a secret - worth double the cost, for only sixpence.' I'll take one,'- said a bystander. The pedlar handed him a strop and a box of paste, and went on selling.— Look here,' interrupted the purchaser ; you promised to tell, me,soutething_worth double the, price.' .! ! so, I did,' said the pedlar, 'audit this : If yorkhad_bought a box of the paste for ,a penny, and'imi it on to your old strop, 4r-w!pl:d. lkve,Malle it just exactly as goo/ as a new one. FRR AMC OP WEALTH.—Men have ever been proverbially fond , of crying against women's folly and extravagance, but we have discovered one or two instances that have still more deeply convinced us of their own failing in this respect. There is no accounting for their whims and ec centricities, as may be seen from the fol lowing : The wealth which now exists in Am sterdam falls much short of what it was previous to the French revolution, or clu ing. the period of Dutch commercial pre emmence. It is not long since strangers, in visiting Amsterdam, were shown the spacious house of a merchant who, after having Javished much on furniture and painting, actually caused the floor of one of his apartments to be laid with Spanish dollars, set on edge. Another gentleman of Holland determined to makt A pave ment before his residence of large, massive plates of silver, and to surround it with an ornamental chain of the same costly mate rial. Before carrying his plan into effect, it behooved him to obtain the sanction of the authorities. These worthies, however, void of sympathy, set their faces against a proposition which might have compelled them to increase the strength of the town gnard. Enraged at their non-compliance, Moses determined to punish them. He ordered his dwelling, situated in the prin cipal street, immediately to be pulled down, and on its site erected the one now standing.. It is literally cove ed with di abolical figures, amounting, it is said, to three hundred and fifty.' SAFE MAXIMS FOR ALL.—The world estimates men by , success in life ; and by general consent, success, is evidence of su periority. Never, under any circumstance, assume- a responsibility you can avoid con sistently with your duty to yourselves and others. Base all your actions upon a prin ciple. of right ;. preserve your integrity of ohartuiter in doing this ; never reckon the cost. Remember that self interest is more likely to warp your judgment than all other circumstances combined, therefore !±. , .0k well where youiduty is concerned. Never make money at the expense of your rep utation. Be neither lavish nor niggard ly— of the two avoid the latter, a mean man is universally despised ; but public favor is a stepping stone to preferment, therefore generous feeling should be cul tivated. Let your expense be such as to leave a balance in your pocket ready money for a friend in need. Beep clear of the law, for when you gain your case you are generally the loser of money. Never re late your misfortunes, and never grieve over what you cannot prevent. No man I who owes as much as he can pay, has any moral right to endorse for another . THE LANCASTER INTELLIGENCER JOB PRINTING ESTABLISHMENT, No. 8 NORTH DUKE STREET, LANCASTER, PA. The Jobbing Department is thoroughly furnished with new and elegant type of every description ' and is under the charge of a practical and experienced Job Printer.-- The Proprietors are prepared to PRINT CHECKS, NOTES, LEGAL BLANKS. CARDS AND CIRCULARS, BILL HEADS AND HANDBILLS, PROGRAMMES AND POSTERS, PAPER BOOKS AND PAMPHLETS, BALL TICKETS AND INVITATIONS, PRINTING IN COLORS AND PLAIN PRINTING, with neatness, accuracy and dispatch, on the most ressona ble terms, cud in a manner not excelled by any establish ment In the city. Ara- Orders from a distance, by mail or otherwise promptly attended to. Address GEO. SANDERSON .4 SON,' Intelligencer Office, No. 8 North. Duke street, Lancaster. Pa. DBri T I S T R V The undersigned has removed his Dental Office to the pleasant and commodious rooms over Westhaeffer's well known Book Store 8. EAST CON. OF,NORTU QUEEN AND ORANGE STS., where he has increased facilities for the comfort and ac commodation of all wino may favor him with their pa tronage. Every operation within the province of his profession will be carefully and scientifically performed, on the most moderate terms. OFFICE ON THE SECOND FLOOR. /far ENTRANCE VITI,ST DOOR ON °HANOI BISECT. - VID. OFFICE HOURS-8 to 12., A. M., and 1% to 6, P. M may 19 3m 191 8. WELCH ENS, D. D. S. IHE PHILADELPHIA EVENING BUL LETIN, AN INDEPENDENT DAILY NEWSPAPER devoted especially to thainteresta of Pennsylvania. Con taining Important Telegraphic News sixteen hours in ad vance of the Morning Papers. Original, Foreign and Do mestic Correspondence, Editorials on all Subjects, and full Reports of all the news of the day. The Commercial and Financial Departments are full, and are 'carefully attended to. 4f;jr As err ADVERTISING MEDIUM there is no better paper in the State, the circulation being next to the largest in the city, and among the most intelligent and inflnen• tial of the population. TEEMS, SIX DOLLARS PER YEAR, IN ADVANCE. CUMMINGS & PEACOCK, Proprietors, N 0.112 South Third street, Philadelphia. THE PHUADELPHL& SATURDAY BULLETIN, a handsome, well-filled, FAMILY WgIiKLY NEWEIPAPIR, Is pub lished by he Proprietors at the following unprecedentedly low rates: 1 Copy, one year, 6 Copies, 13 1.1. lig 21 " " so CI IC MNIMICI FURTHER INDUCEMENTS THE 'LARGEST CLUB (over 100) will be gent for three years. THE NEXT LARGEST CLUB, (oier 100) will be sent for two years. Address CUMMINGS A PEACOCK, Proprietors, lledletin Building, No. 112 South Third street, Philadelphia. nov 23 tf 45 pr'RE BODUGGER. 4 _l_ This wonderful article, just patented, is something entirely new, and never before offered to agents, who aro .wanted everywhere. Pull particulars sent free. Address SHAW do CLARK, apr 21y 121 'Biddeford, Maine. UNITED STATES TA.XES POETII BY THE ACT OF 1862. Publiabed for, the convenience of STOREKEEPERS, MERCHANTS, BRORERS, LAWYERS, CONVEYANCERS and the publio generally; on a large neat Card showing a glance, the amount of duty on tax to be paid. Price cents. For sale by J. M. WESTHAEFFEB, No. 44, Corner of North Queen and Orange streets. oet 7 tf 3 AE AMERICAN ANNUAL CYCLO- PsEDIAA AND ILEGISTEB OF IMPOBTANI: EVENTS • OF THE YEAH 186 L Embracing Political, Civil, Military and Social Affairs Public Documents; Biography, Statistics Com merce, Finance, Literature, Science, Agri culture - anclNecluszical Industry. The volume Will be in the style of the New American Cyclopsediai haring not lose than 750 pages ' royal Bvo. The work Will be pub li shed exclusively by subscription and Its exterior appearance will be at once elegant and enh stantial. D. APPLETON & CO., New York. ELIAS BABB & CO., No. 6 East King Street, gt's for Lancaster City and Co &pr 75 tf 14] F INE WATCHES! HIGH JEWELRY SILVER WARE! SILVER WARE!! PIE, CAKE AND BUTTER KNIVES. SUGAR, CREAM AND OYSTER SPOONS. SOUP AND OYSTER LADLES, SPOONS, FORKS, Ao , LATEST STILES AND BEST WOHIGILLNBEGP. RIVER-PLATED WARE! SILVER-PLATED WARE I BASKETS, CASTORS, PITCHERS, MUGS, SPOONS, FORKS, Ac., Aa., JUST P.ACIE TEE PACTOILIZEI, WATCHES! WATCHES!! WATCHES! iiressetnn TIMGILTEPTIMS. CHEAP I CHEAP. 11. CHEAP!! CLOCKS! CLOCKS!! CLOCKS!! GILT, COLUMN AND PLAIN THOM& JEWELRY! JEWELRY!!_ JEWELRY!! terser STILZ3 AND. EMT QIILLLTIr. DARBY Z. BROADS, 2114 WirvicKiwn - Braient, Between Cooper's,Horel azyiJ.l3.flnta's Dry Goods•B! .o re -tf 49 HE ONITED S'PA'TES HOTEL, T HARRISBURG, PA. COVEZLY ef HUTCHISON, Proprietors. Thiswellknown'Hotelie now in a condition to accommo date the traveling public, affording the most ample con veniences 'alike for the transient guest and! ermanent • • "THEITHITED STATES HOTEL has been entirely refit ted throughout, and mow has xecoinmodatlone equal In extent, comfort and luxury to any hotel between Phila. delphia and Plifabtfig: — lts Patron is the beet in the State Capital, Nag Jo-easy access toali the railroad depots, and in dose proximity to all. the public offices and boldness loeallilio of the city. It has now all the conveniences of , Frill3Tf-HOTEL, H 2 OVEL, aud•the Rmpulitoninreldetermitied to Emu neither ex pense, time or labor to ensure the comfort of the guests, The patronage of the traveling public is respectfully solicited. [June '23 24 ei °DRY'S LADY'S BOOK FOR 1883 1,31 f GREAT LITERARY /MD PICTORIAL YEAR. The publisher of Gitday's Ladraßook, thankful to that public which has - enabled him' to publish a magazine for the last thirty-three years of a larger circulation than any in America, has made an arniagementwith the most popu lar authoress in this country— .lLAßlON HARLAND, Authoress of "Alone," "Ridden Path," - " Mass Side,' " Nemesis." and " Miriam," who will tarnish a story for every number of the Lady's Book for 1863. This alone will place the Lady's Book In literary point of view far ahead of any other magazine. Marion Harland writes for no other publication. Our other favorite writers will all continue to furnish article, throughout the year. THE BEST LADY'S MAGAZINE IN THE WORLD, AND THE CHEAPEST. THE LLTERATIIIIE Is of that kind that can be read Blond in the family circle, and the clergy in Immense numbers are antneribers for the Book. TUB 1117810 is ail original, and would coat 25 cent!, (the price of the Book) in the music stores; but most of it Is copyrighted, and cannot be obtained except in .Godey." OUR STEEL ENGIUNINGB. All efforts to rival us in this have ceased, and we now stand alone in this department, giving, as we do, many more and infinitely better engravings than are published in any other work. GODEY'S IMMENSE DOUBLE SHEET FASHION— PLATES. CONTAINING - • • From five to seven fall length Craved Fashions on each plate- Other magazines give only two. FAR AHEAD OF ANY I?ASITIONS IN EOROPE ON AMEIUOA. Godey's is the only work In the world that givas these immense plates, and they are such as to hove excited the wonder of publishers and the public. The publication of theseplates coat $lO,OOO MORE than fashlonTlates of the old style, and nothing but our wonderfully large circulation enables na to give them. Other magazines cannot afford it. We never spare money when the public can be benefited. These fashions may be rolled on. Dresses may be made after theni, and the wearer will not subject herself to rldin cute, as would be the rase if she - visited the large titles dressed after the style of the plates given in some of ou r so-called magazines. OUR WOOD ENGRAVINGS, - - - - - of which we give twice or three times as many as any other magazine, are often mistaken for steel. They are so far superior to any oat re. IMITATIONS. Beware of them. Remember that the Lady's Book is the original publication and the cheapest. If you take Godey, you want no other magazine. Everything that is useful or ornamental in a house can be found in liodey. DRAWING LESSONS. No other magazine gives them, and we have enough to fill several large volumes. OUR RECEIPTS ore such as can be found nowhere el.. Cooking In 'all Its variety--Confectionery—the Nursery—the Toilet—the Laundry—the Kitchen. Receipts upon all subjects are to be found In the pages of the Lady's Book. We originally started this department, and have peculiar facilities for making it most perfect. This department alone is worth the price of the Book. LADIES' WORK TABLE. - - - - This department comprisetfougravings and descriptions of every article that a Indy wears. MODEL COTTAGES. No other magazine has thin department. TERMS: CASH IN ADVANCE. One copy one year, $3. Two copies one year, $6. Three copies one year, $6. Four copies one year $7. Five copies one year, and an extra copy to the person Bending the club, $lO. Eight copies one year, and an extra copy to the person sending the club, $l5. Eleven copies one year, and an extra copy to the person sending ihe club, $2O. And the only magazine that can be introduced into the above clubs in place of the Lady's liooic is Arthur's Home Magazine. SPECIAL CLUBBING WITH OTHER MAGAZINES Godey's Lady's Book and Arthur's Home Magazine both one year for $.3 50. Godey's Lady's Book and Harper's Magazine both one year for $4.50. Godoy, Harper, and Arthur will all three be sent one year, on receipt of $8.50. Treasury Notes and Notes of all solvent banks taken at par. Bs careful and tay the postage on your letter. Address, L. A. GODEY, 323 Chestnut Street, Philadelphia, Pa: tlm 41 T II E. VOL UMBIA INSURANCE COMPANY, OF COLUMBIA, LANCASTER COUNTY, PA. CHARTER PERPETUAL Two Company continue to insure Buildings, Merchan dise and other property, against loss and damage by fire, OD the mutual plan, either for a cash premium or premium note. • - The largo and increasing capitol of the Company, cornr , elating of premium notes given by Its members, and based' upon I,S .l 7 5, 7_ 8 9. 3 5, Insured on The mutual plan, affords a reliable guarantee equal to ton times the average loss on tho amount insured; and the Directors pledge themselves to dual as liberally with those who may sustain loss or damage as the case will admit of, consistent with justice to all parties con. corned. AMOUNT OF PREMIUM. NOTES, $.155,620.19 Balance of Cash Premium um.- pended, Jan. let, 1862 $1,665 57 Cssit receipts during the year 1862, less Agents' COMMISMODO.... Cash receipts in January, 1863 Losses and expel.. paid during . the year, 136° $6,329.73 Balance unexpended, February 3d, 1863 GEORGE YOUNG, Jr., Secretary M. S. SHUMAN, Treasurer. DIRECTORS M. S. Shuman, Michael H. Moore, George Young, Jr., Nicholas McDoupd, Amos S. Green. Robert T. Ryon, Abraham Bruner, John Foadrich, H. G. 21/41Inich, Samuel F. Eberleim Ephraim Liershey, mar 31 ly 12] North D S CHAFFER, SON & ~ CO SCHAFFER,AGN A CO., SCHAFFER, SON Sk CO., SCHAFFER, SON .4 CO., SCHAFFER,SON A CO., SCHAFF.ER,SON .4 CO., IMPORTERS OF WATCHES, . • • IMPORTERS OF WATCHES, IMPORTERS OF WATCHES, IMPORTERS OF WATCHES, IMPORTERS OF WATCHES, Nos. 169 and 171 Broadway, N. Y., Nos. 169 and 171 'Broadway, N. Y., Noe. 169 and 171'. Broadway, N. Y., Nos. 169 and 171. Broadway, N. Y., Are receiving by the. Enropean Steamers, direct from their agency in Chatts.de-Fongs, Switzerland, large imports'. lions of the Celebrated MAGIC TIME OBSERVER, MAGIC TIME OBSERVER, MAGIC TIME OBSERVER, MAGIC TIME OBSERVER, MAGIC TIME OBSERVER, MAGIC TIME OBSERVER, MAGIC. TIME OBSERVER, MAGIC TIME OBSERVER, The Height of Mechanical Ingenuity! The Height of Mechanical Ingenuity! The Height cf MethaniCal Ingenuity ! The Height of Meehanteal.lngenuity I Being a Hunting or Open Face Watch Combined, Being a Muutifig or Open Face Watch Combined, •• Being a Hunting or Open Face Watch Combined. Or: a LADY'S.Or GENTLEMAN'S WATCH in ONE? Or ; a LADY'S or GENTLEMAN'S WATCH In ONE! Or ; a LADY'S or GENTLEMAN'S WATCH in ONE! WITH SELF WINDING IMPROVEMENT: WITH SELF WINDING IMPROVEMENT. One of the prettiest, most convenient, and decidedly the best and cheapest timepiece ever offered. It has within It and connected with its machinery, its own winding attach ment, rendering a key entirely unnecessary. The cases of this Watch are composed of two metals, the outer one being See 16 caratgold: It has the Improved ruby action lever movement, and is WARRANTED AN ACCURATE TIMEKEEPER. WARRANTED AN ACCURATE TIMEKEEPER. WARRANTED AN ACCURATE TIMEKEEPER. WARRANTED AN ACCURATE TIMEKEEPER. Price THIRTY-FIVE DOLLARS, sent by mail in a beautiful velvet lined morocco close, upon receipt of its pricm A prompt and safe delivery guaranteed. Remit tanos may be made in United States money, or Draft pay able to our order in this city. REGISTERED LETTERS, ONLY, AT OUR RISK. We have no agents or circulars: buyers must deal direct with no, ordering from this advertisement. Address SCHAFFER, SON A CO., • Importers of Watches, Noe. 169 and 171 Broadway, New York. 6m 17 SOMETHING FOIL THE. TIMES iS I A NECESSITY IN EVERY HOUSEHOLD, I I /WINS dicßonErs AMERICAN CEMENT GLUE, SHE svuoscian OMR IN THE WORLD FOR CEMENTING WOOD,. LEATHER, GLASS, IVORY, CHINA, MARBLE, PORCELAIN, ALABASTER, BONE, CORAL, Ac., Ac., Ac. The only article of the kind ever produced which will withstand Water. EXTRACTS: " Every housekeeper should have a supply of Johns Crosley'e American Cement Glne."—New York Times. "It is so convenient to have in the hone."—New York Express. "It is always ready; this commendi it to everybody."— n". Y. /rtelspen. We have tried it, and find It as useful in our house as water."—Wilkes' Spirit of the Times. PRICE TWENTY-FIVE CENTS PER BOTTLE. Very Liberal Reductions to Wholesale Dealers. TERMS CASH. Si ,- For sale by all Druggists and Storekeepers generally throughout the country. JOHNS tt °ROBLEY, (Sole Manufacturers) 78 WILLIAM ST., (Corner of Liberty St.) NEW- YORE, dull' 17 11 , 28 • WHISKERS PELATREAU'S STIMULATING ONOUEIT, OR, FRENCH CREAM!! __ - • FOR BALD HEADS AND BARE FACES II I This celebrated article is warranted to bring out a fall set of Whiskers on the smoothest face, or a fine growth of hair on a Bald head, in less than six weeks, and will in no way stain or Wore the akin. The French Cream Ia man ufactured by Dr. M. Felatreaus, of Palle, and is the only reliable article of the kind. "Dee no other." Warranted. in every case. One Box will do the work. Price $1.80. Imported and for sale Wholesale and Retail by • - THOS. F. CHAPMAN, • • Chemist and Waged.. • - • ' 831 Broadway, Ilaw York. P. S. A Box of the Unguent sent to any addreee,by turn mail, on receipt of price and 15 'centa for ,Poelage:' • j1111:10 30 4t 25 NO. 29. A. S. GREEN, President HEO. W. HERE, Agent, eke street, Lancaster city,
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers