Vol XXX Vl. Whole No. 1881.
Rates of Advertising.
tine square, 18 lines,
1 time 50
" 2 times 75
3 1.00
" 1 mo. 1.25
" 3 " 2.50
6 4.00
" 1 year 6.00
2 squares, 3 times 2.00
" 3 mos. 3.50
('OmmuDioations recommending persons for
.ace, must be paid in advance at the rate of
~5 cents per square.
Grindstones.
sale, a good stock, by
F. J. HOFFMAN.
Cedar Ware.
BUcKETb, 1 übbs, Churns, Ac., for sale by
apl2_ F. J. HOFFMAN.
Steel Springs.
4 LARGE STOCK of first rate quality for
sale at F. J. HOFFMAN'S
apl2 Hardware Store.
Tobacco. Snuff and Segars
OF every description at the Diamond Drug
and Variety Store of
aps * A. A. BANKS.
PLAIN and Fancy Envelopes, Note Paper,
Letter and Writing Paper, Quills, Steel
I'ens. Ac., dec., for sale at the Diamond Drug
nid Variety Store of A. A. BANKS.
Confectionariesj
\'UTS, Crackers, Raisins, &c., at the Dia
mond Drug and Variety Store of
aps A. A. BANKS.
Nails.
A LARGE STOCK low for cash at
-X F. J. HOFFMAN'S
ap!2 Hardware Store.
Salt and Fish.
4 GOOD STOCK on hand at very light
.X profits for cash, by
apl2 F. J. HOFFMAN.
Looking Glasses.
LARGE and small sizes, of beautifuTpal
terns, at unusually low prices for cash, by
ap!2 F. J. HOFFMAN. j
Tin, Sheet Iron, Wire, &c.
ON hand, always, at very low prices for cash,
at F. J. HOFFMAN'S
apl2 Hardware Store.
Groceries.
A LWAYS an extensive asaortmenton hand.
* Salt at g1.50 per sack, or 42 cents per
bushel, by the quantity.
ap!2 F. J. HOFFMAN.
Leather and Shoe Findings.
ill SOLE and UPPER LEATHER, Mo
v|j roccos, Lining Skins. Boot Trees,
Shoe Kit, &c., &c., for sale by
apl2 F. J. HOFFMAN.
GREEN'S Celebrated Vermifuge. —This
Vermifuge, so justly celebrated, is too
well known to publish anything in its praise.
For sale at A. A. BANKS'
apl2 Diamond Drug Store.
DR. JAYNE'S EXPECTORANT,
" " Hair Tonic,
" " Carminative, for sale by
J. B. MITCHELL.
march 22, 1850.
DR. GREEN'S LINIMENT, for Rheuinat
ism. Swellings, Bruises, &c., &c.—one
• i the best remedies now in use for beast as
•.ell as man. Price 37J cts. per bottle. For
sale at A. A. BANKS'
apl2 Diamond Drug Store.
FANCY SOAPS.—Almond soap, Marsh
Mallow soap, Amandine soap. Transpa
rent soap, Military soap, Tooth Balls, Almond
Cream, Rose do. do., Amandine for
chapped hands, &c., &c„ for sale by
J. B. MITCHELL, i
I>ewietown, march 22, 1850.
|7k ANCY GOODS.—Port Monnaies, Pocket t
I- Books, Cigar Cases, Shaving Boxes, Note
i'aper, superior Sealing Wax, Steel Pens, Pen
Holders. Stamps, superior Percussion Caps,
Snuff Boxes, Motto Wafers, superior white
Envelopes, do. brown do., redding and pocket
'"ornbe, t. perior Shaving Brushes,do. Hairdo ,
Tooth and Nail do., &.C., &.C., for sale by
J. B. MITCHELL, j
Lewistown, march 22, 1850.
tf T WILL CURE.—When you havea cough j
I. or breast complaint, get a bottle of Dr. S.
Green's Sartaparilla, T<tr and Cherry j
Pectoral, it has cured persons in Lewistown
<\d vicinity, which can be testified to. It docs
,ot nauseate the stomach,arid ispleasant to take.
fTice only 50 eta. per bottle. For sale at
A. A. BANKS'
apl2 Diamond Drug Store.
Drugs, &o.
DRUGS, Medicines, Oils, Faints, Lc. t Ac.,
can be had low at
F. J. HOFFMAN'S
9p 12 Drug Store.
A LSO,
' ire White Lead at $12.00 por keg.
ne Copal Varnish at #2.00 per gallon.
""I N. J. Giasa. Bxlo $2,124 per Half Box.
Hams and Bacon,
THE subscriber IJM *nd in-
I ~ *TK tenda keeping on hand a large
*6tock of 11 A M S, SIIOUL- '
and FLITCH, o'' prime
ia ßty, to sell low for cuah.
pT: F. J. HOFFMAN.
| _ THE PEOPLE
Know their Interests, and know
ing will maintain them;
Hence when they want goods at
MUniform I*rices,
and as low as can be bought in the State, they
go to
mm BROTHERS,
because every man, woman and child in the six
j counties by this time knows that no one can
; sell lower and live. They have, with their
| usual enterprise, brought up a large lot of
OT ffljil!) SfrDMj
and opened them to the gaze of admiring thou
sands while most of their competitors were
sleeping over the piles of Calicoes, Ginghams,
and a hundred other articles remaining unsold
from last year s purchases. These goods were
all selected with an eye to
Beauty, Fineness, and Dura
bility,
and bought at prices that throw twenty per
cent, men into the shades of oblivion. We
therefore invite our old costomers and about
<£>□□. C>S5,
(being aM that we have room for at present) to
give u a call, and if we don't please ninety*
nine out of every hundred in
Beauty, Quality and Frier,
there is no longer any virtue iu
Cheap and Elegant Good*.
There is no need of recapitulating what we
have, either in the
Dry Goods, Grocery, or any other Liuc,
a9 it is well known that wc have everything
anybody else has, and a considerable sprink
ling of neat, useful and pretty matters that
Others have not.
So let there be no delay among those who
want the first pick—we are
ARMED AND EQUIPPED
with an elegant yardstick, which measures
true, and in conjunction with our clerks, are
ready to wait on all the ladies and gentlemen,
whether old or young, ugly or handsome, and
make them look better than they ever did be
fore after being rigged out in the splendid
goojs we have provided for their gratification, i
Lewistown, March 29, 1850.
2 squares, 6 mos. $5.00
" 1 year 8.00
A column, 3 mos. 6.00
6 " 10.00
" 1 year 15.00
1 column, 3 mos. 10.00
6 " 15.00
" 1 year 25.00
Notices before mar
riages, Ac. sl2.
_ IT IS EVIDENT
To all discerning minds thai
BLY IHYEiR has the most
splendid assortment of
SPRING & SUMMER GOODS
f Will AT has been brought to Lawiitown this
X season, and withal so cheap that he who
would undersell it must wake up a little earlier
than he ever did before. The Block comprises
in great variety,
Cloths, Cassimeres, Satinets,
Vestings, Croton Cloths, Cashmeres, and Cash
merette; Tweeds, Mohair Cords, Drillings,
Velvet Cords, French Cassimeres, IJ-c Skin
do., white and fancy Marseilles, &c. A splen
did assortment of
ILa&tcjef 73vcm (Goofc.s.
Grode Naps, Satin du Chenes, an elegant as
sortment of striped, figured and plain Silks,
Bareges, Challey, Muslin dc Alpacas,
Lustres, Ginghams, Lawns, Mulls, Jaconets,
Bombazines, striped and plaid Muslins, scc.
tie has also an extensive variety of the
CIIE A PEST CA K PET! \<l
that has yet been brought to this place; to
gether with a never-ending assortment of
lIICADY MADE CLOTHING,
which will be sold at prices to suit purchasers.
Besides this, he has
QIIeeII * v a re, Olas.u a re,
and an unparalleled supnly of
g it o c i; u 11: s.
ladies and gentlemen who wish to clothe j
themselves in a becoming dress, such as is
called for in the course of human events by
fashion and public opinion, are invited to take
a look at his slock before purchasing at other
places. His clerks are ever ready and willing
to exhibit to all, and if price and quality don't I
suit, there will be no grumbling.
GEORGE BLYMYER
Lewistown, April 12, 1850. J
WALIKK IJLLFY j
RESPECTFULLY ANNOUNCES TO INS OUI
friends, and as many new ones as can
make it convenient to coll, that he has just re
ceived his
Fall and Winter Stock of Goods,
which he is prepared to dispose of at as reason- j
able prices as Mr Johnston Thomas, and he
sells about * wenty per cent, lower than any
Store in the East \Vard. My stock consists of
a general assortment of S E A S <) N A B L E
GOODS, viz:
DRY GOODS, GROCERIES,
(hicennwarr, I*la**ware nistl
Hardware,
ibim MID 311D13,
TOIIACrOH AVI) SKIiVIO,
and Spices of the purest hind,
Together with all the articles usually found in j
a country more. As we do not feel able to oc- |
cupy the newspapers with an advertisement of
two or three columns, we just say to our friends
to call and see us, and if you don't purchase
from us we will not grumble.
Lewistown, DPC. 22, 1849—tf i
Pure Cider Vinegar.
I~IOR sale ut the Diamond Drug Store of
r P 5 A. A. BANKS. J
,£3y2> miz iFm^r^nsr®l^XB 3 ssnnKKEaESJ p &o
FRIDAY EVENING, APRIL 26, 1850.
For the Gazette.
LIFE HAS ITS EARTHLY ILL.
A MELODY.
AIR—" Oft in the stilly night."
Life has its earthly ill,
And there are hearts now weeping
Hopes spring as joy-like still
As smiles of infants sleeping !
If shadows track our early way,
To dim the spirit's brightness,
Heaven can clothe the darkest day
In evening's golden brightness.
Swift pass the woes we feel,
Like winds above the billow—
Hopes, like our dreams, will steal
Around the hardest pillow.
Youth hangs a wither'd stem
Of budding llow'is now perish'd
Or, lies a broken gem,
Whose light is all that's cherish'd.
Lite has some sweets not born to die,
Some charms lie wreck'd forever, '
And there are joys which never fly,
Till love's last smile we sever.
One hour we ne'er forget
The hopes of first-love faded ;
These 1 remember yet,
Like rainbows clouds have shaded.
What's sweetest is first to fall,
The brightest sinks in sadness;
Love, which so gladdens all,
May darklj turn to madness !
The fairest dies in its own light,
Its eetness death discloses ;
Still round its form our thoughts glow bright
Like gems on withered roses.
Life has its earthly ill.
And there are hearts now weeping—
Hopes spring as joy-like still
As smiles of infants sleeping.
OKALOOSA.
JHtacfiiaucoua.
THIYCS I LIRE TO SEE AID HEAR.
I like to see a man and his wife quar
reling, because it looks well.
I like to hear a woman tell the faults of
her husband to strangers. It looks as if
she respected herself, as well as him.
I like to see a man, in some public place,
assail women iu general. It looks as if lie
would like to pay his wife a compliment
without naming her.
I like to see a woman, after she gets
married, dispense with combing her head
and brushing her teeth, only on Sunday.
It looks as if she thought as much of her
husband and herself as she did before.
I like to see a man, after he gets a wife,
wear his wedding coat only on particular
occasions, that it may do him for a dress
coat as long as he lives. I also like to see
him wear his beard a week, go to meeting
with his boots covered with mud, and his
head all in a lriz, because ii looks as if he
was determined to be as particular of his
personal appearance as he used to be, even
though he has a wife.
I like to see the house unswept, the beds
unmade, the floor covered over with up
turned chairs, brooms, hammers, tongs,
shovel, Ac., &c. It looks as if the house
keeper was entirely acquainted with the
duties of her profession.
1 like to hear a family quarreling and
fighting in so high a tone that all that is
said may be heard any distance from the
house. It looks like keeping household
feuds from strangers.
1 like to see the street filled with chil
dren with dirty faces, uncombed heads,
ragged, ami withal impudent. It looks as
ii society will be improved when they
grow up.
I like to see hoys out at night till a late
hour, annoying everybody in the vicinity
with their loud hallooing, cursing, smoking
cigars, igniting squibs, &.C., etc. It looks
as if their parents were afraid that the
morals of their offspring might he vitiated
by exposure in such a contaminating at
mosphere.
I like to see a drunken man, because his
superiority over the brute creation is then
more evident.
I like to see a swearing woman ; and if
drunkeness be added, the sight is still more
desirable. (The latter sight, though very
rare, may still be witnessed.)
I like to see a man sedulously avoiding
the presence of his creditors. It looks like
an intention to pay his contracts as soon
as he can.
1 like to see persons travelling from one
public place to another, that they may get
a peep at the papers. It looks as if they
wanted to inform themselves at their own
expense.
F like, to see a person meet another with
friendship, and when his back is turned
say hard things of him, and join others in
making fun of him, because it is consist
ent with profession.
I like to see our shops and stores filled
with men from dark till ten or eleven
o'clock, expectorating the essence of the
V irginia weed, while they arc busily en
gaged talking, (not in the most respectful
manner, either,) about their absent neigh
bors—some being too proud, others too
lazy, some are indebted, others extrava
gant. &c., &c.—in fine anything that can
in any way elevate an absent brother's
reputation or character being before the
meeting, is fully discussed. I like to see
it, because it looks as if married men pre
fer the company of their wives to that of
loungers, and that all are doing as they
wish to bo done to.
I like to hear persons, when assembled
in the church yard on Sunday morning,
talking about the prices of grain, the pros-
pects for a prop, the latest commercial
news, a new bonnet, a part-, weddings, Ac.
It looks as if their mind were in a proper
j state to receive instruction.
| I like to see young men and young la
dies, when at church, engaged in talking
and laughing while the minister is address
ing them or the throne of grace. It looks
as it they had been taught to pay respect
not only to the house of God, but to him
who ministers in holy things.
I like to see people, after returning from
church on Sunday, spend the remainder of
the day talking about the different persons
that attended—that strange gentleman, that
singular lady and more singular equipage.
Where did lie come from ? Who is she ?
I hat coat, that old bonnet, that scandalous
old fashioned dress, that extravagant plume,
that cross baby, that ugly old man, Ac., Ac.
It looks as il the spiritual seed sown was
taking root, the soil being good.
In short, 1 like to see anarchy and eon
fusion in Church and State—the Church
arrayed against the Statm the State against
the Church—the seeds of discord widely
sown—communities in a broil—law set at
defiance—places of amusement crowded,
and the sanctuary empty —the Sabbath
desecrated—drunkenness revived—religion
getting into disrepute, while the bold blas
phemer, with impunity, startles the ear
with awful imprecations. It looks like the
near approximation of that day spoken of
by prophets and holy men of old, when
all the nations of the earth shall be blessed
with righteousness.
OMINOUS.
THE TIMELY WORD.
I wo men had entered into an agreement
to rob one of their neighbors. Everything
was planned. They were to enter the
house at midnight, break open his chests
and drawers, and carry off all the gold and
silver they could find.
" He is rich and we are poor," said they
to each other, byway of encouragement
in the evil they were about to perform.—
" lie will never miss a little gold, while its
possession will make us happier. Besides,
what right has one man to all of this world's
goods ?"
Thus they talked together. One of
these men had a wife and children, but the
other had none in the world to care for but
himself. ihe man who had children went
home and joined his family, after agreeing
upon a place of meeting with the other at
the darkest hour of the coming night.
41 Dear father," said one of the children,
climbing upon his knee, l - I'm so glrui
you've come."
Ihe presence ot the child troubled the
man, and he tried to push him away ; but
his nrm clung tighter about his neck, and
he laid his face against Iris cheek, and said
in a sweet and gentle voice—
-44 1 love you. father."
Involuntarily the man drew the innocent
and loving one to his bosom, and kissed
him.
There were two elder children in the
man s dwelling, a hoy and a girl. They
were poor, and these children worked dailv,
to k< ep up the supply of bread made de
ficient. more through idleness in their father
than from lack of employment. These
children came in soon after their father's
return, and brought him their earnings for
the day.
44 Oh. father !" said the bow 44 such a
dreadful thing has happened, Henry l.ee's
father was arrested to-day for robbing.—
They took him out of our shop, when
llenry was there, and carried him off to
prison. 1 was so sad when 1 seen Henry
weeping. And he hung his head for
shame—for shame of his own father 1—
Only think of that."
The man did not reply to the words of
his soil, hut lie turned his face partly away
to conceal its expression.
44 Ashamed of his father !" thought he.
" And will my children hang their heads,
also, in shame Mo, no. That shall
never he 1"
At the late hour of midnight the man
who had no children to throw around him
a sphere of hotter influence, was waiting
at the place of rendezvous for him whose
children had saved him. I Jut he waited
long in vain. Then he said—
" I will do the deed myself, and take the j
entire reward."
And he did according to his word.—
When the other man went forth to his la
bor on tiic next day, he learned that his
accomplice had been taken in the act of
robbery, and was already in prison.
" Thank Heaven for virtuous children !"
said he with fervor. 44 They have saved
inc. Never will I do any act that will
cause them to blush for their father !"
ADVERTISEMENT. —Professor Plato Cis
co, a colored pusson of respekability, in
spector of walls and whitewashing respek
ably informs the public, his white fellow
citizens and abolishun Sicty, will attend to
orders in line of his profeshun with care
fulness and despatch. Professor Cisco
being well acquainted with carpet shaking
tictacs, solicits a share of patronage. His
son Jupiter Amnion, will open oysters at a
moment's warning, attend to parties, eall
de figures, and play the violin.
N. B.—Jupiter Amnion blacks as good
a hoot as any colored gem'an in Lew is*.own.
LEGEYDS OF THE R 111 YE.
THE DRAGOJi's ROCK.
The tradition giving the origin of the
name of I) ruche tiffin or Dragon's Kock,
states that once upon a time the mountain
j was inhabited by a dragon, whose den
still exists. To this monster tho people
paid divine honors, and pampered his ra
pacious appetite with human victims, who
were usually selected from the enemies
| taken during their predatory wars. It
chanced that, among other captives, a
lovely virgin of high birth, who had be
come a Christian, fell into their hands.
Her surpassing beauty excited ardent feel
ings of love in two of the younger chiefs,
who disputed possession of her charms.
'J'he elders of the Assembly, fearing that
an object of so much loveliness might en
gender discord and animosity, doomed the
hapless maiden as an offering to their
dreadful idol. Clothed in white—meet
emblem of her purity—and crowned with
a roseate wreath, she was conducted be
fore the morning's dawn to the mountain,
and her fair and delicate form bound to
the lata) oak, before which was a stone
that served for an ala•. As soon as the
rising sun had gilded the lofty crags of
Drachcnlif Is. and emitted a faint ray of
light info the monster's cavern, with sinu-
I on? and scaly body, and wide-extended
mouth, he writhed towards his prey. A
large concourse of people had flocked from
the surrounding country to witness the
trajric spectacle ; and lew hearts were
found unmoved with compassion at the
fate of the innocent and unhappy victim.
.She, the source of their commiseration,
with beaming eyes "fixed on the heavens,
and her hand devoutly upraised, seemed
to await, with silent.and pious resignation,
her impending destruction. As her dire
enemy approached, feeling already the
baneful influence of his pestilential breath, 1
she drew from her bosom a small crucifix,
and held with firm yet humble confidence
the image of the Saviour opposed to the
attack of her sanguinary destroyer. In a
moment the dragon's advance was arrested:
recoiling with horror and affright, and
sending forth dreadful hissings and hide
ou- yells, he precipitated himself into the
profound abyss of the neighboring forests,
and was never seen or heard of more. It
was owing to this pious maiden, thus mi
raculously saved, that the Drachenfels be
came changed from a mountain of idolatry
to a stronghold of Christianity, where
those who had been converted by the mir
acle worshipped.
TIIF. WHITE MAIDEN.
The legend of the " White Maiden" is
connected with Thurnberg. A young no
bleman of St. Goar, while hunting one
day, pursued a stag to the ruin, where it
disappeared. lie sought it in vain, and as
it \yas mid-dav, an August mid-day at that,
he sought shelter in the shade of a ruined
staircase, saying, as he stretched himself
out on die ground, •' I wish some kind
fairy would bring me a beaker of the
Khenish wine that the old women say has
been buried for ages in the cellars of this
, old castle." Scarce had he spoken
the words, when a beautiful maiden
snipped irom a crevice with a large beaker
flowing to the brim ; she was arrayed in
white, • lair was she as a lily in June,"
and her loving eyes made the blood course
last through the hunter's heart. 44 Drink
and he satisfied," said she, and soon his
passions were inflamed by love and wine
—-hut just at that moment the maiden dis- ;
appeared. In vain did lie search for her
—he only disturbed the owls and the bats, j
and from that day he was a changed man.
A\ herevcr he was, but the one thought of
her haunted his mind, and his only pleas
ure consisted in ransacking the ruins.
The sun scorched him—the rain drenched
him— nimporlc! At length a deadly fe
ver seized him, and in his delirium lie
sought the spot where he had seen the ob- ;
jeet of his adoration, that he might there j
give up the ghost. Hut life would not
forsake him, and while in great torment,
the white maiden re-appeared. She came
and bent over him—with a convulsive ef
fort he raised his head—she kissed his
lips—and with a smile of happiness he
fell back and died. No one has seen her
since.
THE RIEE OF THE IIOFSK. —At a very
excellent Hotel, not a hundred miles from
our parts, (says the New York Era.) thev
were one day short of a waiter, when a '
newly arrived Hibernian was hastily made
to supply the place of a more expert hand, i
•• Now, Barney,'" says mine host, "mind
you serve every man with soup anv how."
'• Be dad I'll do that same," said the ;
alert Barney. Soup came on the start,
and Barney, after helping all but one guest, {
came upon the last one.
" Soup, sir !" said Barney.
" No soup for me," said the gent.
" But you must have it," said Barney ;
" it is the rules of the house."
" Confound the house," exclaimed the ,
guest highly exasperated ; " when 1 don't
want soup I won't eat it—jjet alon<r with
you.
" Well," said Barney, with solemnity,
"all I can sav, is just this : it's the regu- '
lations of the house, and blast the drop
else ye'll get till ye finish the soup!
The traveller gave in. and the soup was
gobbled.
IVew Series— Vol. 4—IVo. 27.
A LAADLOItO GRATIFIED.
A ankee—but whether he was a trader
or not, I can t say—stopped at a tavern,
somewhere iu the State of Pennsylvania,
called for " ilxins," and after swallowing a
pretty considerable hill, retired. Mean
while the landlord and interlopers were
busily engaged in conversation. By and
by, ankees and Yankee tricks were dis
j cussed. The landlord informed the bar
room company there was a live Yankee
in the house, and if 'twere possible, he
would have p. trick or two out of him be
: fore he left, while the aforesaid hangers-on
were to he witnesses. After a " pleasant
snide,'" all around, at the landlord's ex
pense, they left.
Next morning, landlord and company
were ready to snap at Mr. Yankee, as
soon as he made his appearance. Break
fast being over, in walks Jonathan, with an
air peculiar to folks 44 deoun east," paid
his bill, and was about to depart, when
the landlord accosted him with :
• 4 You, it is plain to see, sir, are a Yan
kee. Can or will you oblige us with a
trick or two, for I assure you we are wil
ling to be tricked if you can do it."
W all, dunno 'bout that. Hev done a
few in my time, hut dunno as I kin dew
anythin' smart this mornin'."
; 44 Oh do. Let's have a trick," cried
the eager crowd.
44 Wall, seem' it's yeou, I'll do it jest to
please yer ; but I swow, you mustn't cat
mad."
44 Oh no, not at all," says the landlord.
44 111 go his security," chimed old
Rumnose.
44 I reckon, ' says Jonathan, " yew sell a
prodigious sight of liquor in these parts,
and good tew. \ou've a pipe of wine
down cellar, eh ?"
" Oh, rale stufl, too, I can tell vou."
44 W all," says Jonathan, 44 come along,
all yeou that want to behold the miracle
performed and down they went into the
cellar. The said pipe was pointed out.
44 Neow, 1 says the ankee, 44 gentlemen,
yew see that pipe of wine, dew veou ?"
A nod of assent went the rounds of the
crowd. 44 W all, neow, I can take brandy
out of one end, and gin out of t'other."
44 Do it, and you can take my head for
a football," exclaimed the landlord.
Jonathan cooly drew from his pocket a
large gimlet, and bored a hole in one end
ot the pipe, which hole the landlord was
requested to hold with his thumbi He
did so; and soon a hole was bored in
44 t other end. ' Jonathan kept a sober
phiz during the operation, and requested
the landlord to stop up the t'other, while
he went after somethin' to put the derned
stufl in. The landlord complied with his
request, and stretched across the pipe, re
sembling a man-o-war's man about to re
ceive a dozen with the 44 cat." Jonathan
meanwhile decamped, he did. The land
lord s back began to ache, and he began to
think the \ ankee was a long time getting
vials to put the liquor in. Soon the vials
of his wrath began to boil over, and words
too deep for human ears were struggling
lor utterance, and he, holding on, en
deavored to keep the wine from leaking
out. *Soon the hoax began to leak from
the out-siders. By and bv, one gave a
laugh, and guessed' the landlord was done
a leetle the brownest of anything he'd
ever seen ; and then didn't the walls of
the old cellar ring again with bursts of
laughter ? W ell, they did.
The landlord raved and swore almost—
no, he was a deacon in the church ! And
at last he broke forth with, 44 Dog my eter
nal cats, it I hain't been tricked by the
confounded Yankee." He tried to get
some one of the crowd to supply his place,
but old Rumnose never let a good oppor
tunity slip; he thought it would be well,
inasmuch as the landlord had allowed him
self to be tricked by Mr. Yankee Doodle,
that he (the landlord) should treat all hands,
which having promised faithfully to do,
they released the landlord from his tire
some position after losing his patience and
some of his wine.
A DOCTOR S JOKE.—A well known phy
sician, in a certain city, was very much
annoyed by an old lady who was always
sure to accost him in the street, for the
purpose oi telling over her ailments.—
Once she met him when he was in a very
great hurry. "Ah ! 1 see vou are quite
feeble, said the doctor; " shut your eyes
and show me your tongue." She obeyed,
and the doctor moved oiF, leaving her
standing there for some time in this ridic
ulous position, to the infinite amusement
of all who witnessed the funny scene.
Down South recently, a young lady
asked a clerk in a book store if he had the
•' Exile of Siberia."
'• No ma'am," was the answer, " we
haint got no eggs ile. but we've got a prime
article of bar's ile, if that'll answer."
A learned doctor, referring to tight lacing,
avers that it is a public benefit, inasmuch
as it kills all the foolish girls, and leaves
the wise ones to grow up to be women.
The Cioveriufr of South Carolina has
appointed Francis 11. Elmore, Esq., Edited
Slates Senator, to fill the vacancy occa
sioned by the death of Mr. Calhoun. Mr,
Elmore has accepted tlx 1 appointment.