Advertising Rates
For Legal Notiocs.
Tlic following prices for legal adver
tising lias been adopted by tliu UAituo.v
Advooatk.
Charter Notices - - - $4 00
Auditor's Notices - - - 4 00
Commissioner's Notices - - 4 00
Divorce Notices - 4 00
Administrator's Notices - - .1 00
Executor's Nollco - - 3 00
Other legal advertising will be charged
i or uy tue square.
H. V. Morthim:r, Jr., Publisher.
ATTOHNETS AND COUNCELLOHS
igpOUACR HKYDT,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
OrricEt Tho room recently occupied by
w. ju. jiapsner,
HANK STItEET, . LEHiailTON, PA.
May be consulted In English and derm an.
juiy s, isia-iy
y M. KAPSIIEK,
ATTORNEY & COUNCKLLOlt AT LAW.
Tinsr noon noTK tub mansion iiocse,
MAVCII ClIUKK, VEKWA.
Heal Estate and Collection Agency. Will
Buy and Sell ileal Estate. Conveyancing
neatly none, uoiiections promptly mauo.
r,etlllng Lstales or liecedtnts a Specialty.
May be consulted In English and Uerman.
Novembers, 13' 4.
U. MORTHIMER, Sr,
Rotary publi
OFl'lOISi ADVOCATE HUI1.WXU,
Bank St., Lohighton, Pcnna.
All business perlatnln
to the olTico will
receive prompt attenlioi
10.
PHYSICIANS AND DENTISTS.
JU. I AI.ITtP.I) ANDREWS,
I"Ml:OPAlUlCrllYSICtAN& SVllGEO.Y
Oppofllo Nathan Hnj der'.s Store,
y2A ST WEiSfSPORT.
Social attention given to chronic diseases
and Diseases of Women. iiprwsmi
L)
It. ,V. W KEllEll
PHYSICIAN ANI StlltOEON
HANK STREET. LElllllHTO.V, I
'A.
'JFF1UE Honrs at l'nrryvltlo lrom a.m.,
to IIS m, dally,
'slay be consulted In the English or Gorman
Language. May 17, '81
(1. U. SEII'LE,
PHYSICIAN AN1J SUHCILON,
tSOUTIl STREET, - LF.UIOHTON, PA.
May be consulted In English or (Icrmnn
Spiclul attention given to Gykmoiooy
Officii HotiRB From 12 M. to 2 P. M.,
and from 6 to V 1. M. March 31, W
F. A. Rabenold, D.D.S.,
UR ANUII OFFIUE-Opposlte UlaussJt Hro's
Bank St., Lohighton, Pa
Dentistry In all Its branches. Teeth ex
tracted without pain, (las adtiilnlsicre 1
shell requested lifflce Hays W ED.N'LS
MAY ul o-icll week. 1. ( . Address.
LlTZENHElta, Lehigh county, Pa.
Jan. i, 18 S-Iy.
W. A. Cortright, D.D.S.,
OFFICE : Opposite the "broad way House,"
Mauch Chunk, Pa.
Patients have tha benefit of he latest liu
frorements In tnc-lunh.il appliances and
ho best mo tho Is of treatment In all suridc.il
eases. ANJiSTllCTKI administered If
uesireii. lr possible, persons residing outside
of .Mauch Uhunlc, should make engagements
by mall. Ij8.yl
EYE AND EAR.
DR. G. T. FOX
Visits AHcnluwn regularly on THURSDAY
of oach week. Practice limited to
Diseases of the Eyo & Ear
Office at Hayden's American Hotel, nr.d
rlfioo hours Iron. 9 in the forenoon until
3:30 in tho afternoon. Also attends lo It.
traction of tho Eye lor the propsr adjust
inent of glasse, and for the relief and cure
of nplie.il de'eels.
May also ba consulted at his office in
HATH, Wednesday and Saturday of each
week, at I1ANGOII cn Mondav, ami al
KAST0N on Tuesday. jau 2 88 ly.
HOTELS AND HESTAUHANTS.
QARBON HOUSE,
JONATHAN KISTLER. PROPRIETOR,
Hank Sr., Lbiiiuiiton, Pa.
The OaauoN Hooaa nlfcrs II rat-class aceom.
mudallona to I he Traveling: public. Hoarding
by the Day or Week on Ke.isou.iblo Terms.
Choice. Cigars, Wine and Liquors always on
band. Uod Sheds and Stables, with attco
tire Hostlers, attached. April 10. yl,
p.VCKEUT0S HOTEL.
Idway between Mauch Chunk & Lchlghton
LEOPOLD MEYER, Pnoriiis,TOB,
Packorton. Pennn
This well known liotca Is admirably refitted,
and his tho best accommodations lor nermnn.
ent aad transient boarders. Fxcellcnt tables
and the very bout Ihiujrs. Also hnestuhlcs
attached. Sopt. 16-yl.
ANSION HOUSE,
Opposite 1- & S. Depot,
Hank Street, Lehlghton, I'a.,
C. HOM, FDRODP'It.
Tills house offers first-class accommoda
tions for transient and permanent hoarders.
It lias been nuivly refitted In all Its depart
lnents, ami Is located In one tit the moid
picturesque jMirl Ioiih iif lite lioiiuii-h. Terms
inodcrale. MrThc bar Is nipjilied with Ilia
choicest Wines I.lnunrs and Cigars. Trei.li
LtiBer llccr on Tap. aprlT-N-ly
Announces in his frluuds and the public uen-
erally. tliat he lias now open for their aecoiti-,
modallon his I
NEW RESTAURANT,
licit door to the 1st National Hank, Hank
STltECT, Lkuiomtov. and that he Is now
prep ired Jo furnish First-Class
Moals at Short Notloe !
Tho IUr Is supplied wltht'ie test wlres.tre Jt
I rtrr Ileer and f"h" ee ( tars Youmi I"
YUedtO'a.i. ujnL'l-SB-,
W. k Peters
II. V. Mortiiimkr, Jr Publisher,
VOL. XTV., No. 32.
Thomas' Drug Store.
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Physicians Perscriptiocs
Carefully Compounded
Sale Bills !
Printed while von wait. We
lave better facilities than anv
other office in this county lor
tl lis work. Give us a call.
rr iron as rii:.Mi:ui:n.
-L CONVEYANCE!!.
AND
GF.NERAL INbUKANCE AGENT
The futloMnu CkhipaoIvh ara IteprMnld:
bEllArv )N MUI UALI'IIIH
IICAHINO MUTUAL FIDE,
WVOMINO t'llti:.
I'OIT.- VILLU l'lUH.
Mill lull l'lltK. ami tne
TRAVELERS ACCIDENT Il'lll!A'CE
Also P-ntls' Ivnlll'i aoil Mutual Ilorso fhlo
ctcc ivouudli) uraueo cvint unv.
Milieu 2J. 1871 I II 0-. K KM KIlBIl
FOR PITCHERS
"PL a
Cattoria promotos Digestion, and
overcomes Flatulency, Constipation, Sour
Stomaeh, DIarrba'n, r.nd FoverLslmesn.
Thus tho child Is rendered healthy and its
sleep natural. Castorin contains no
Jlorphino or other narcotic property.
" Cnstoria l so well adupteil to children that
I recommend Itasauperlqr to any presci lotion
known tome." II. A. Aiiciieb,51.d:,
bS Tortlaud Alo., lirooklyn, S. Y.
"I use Cnstor'a In rny practice, and find It
Fpeelally adapted to affections of, children."
Alex. RonenTsoN, JI. D
KW 'M Ave,, Now York.
Tut Cehiato Ca, 1S3 Fulton SU, N. Y.
, iii. a gobble.
SMARTING
COUGHING
Sufficient I) stop In Rrt
minutes the sraailinff, stln?
trig pain oi ioo burns or scalds.
It will step llic pain u soon as
apphed.
Abundance to cure a scort
of colds and the couching
that often leads the wy te
Consumption, It will ros.
Tivtir case a Cough ia ij
mmutcs.
Mora than enough to save
a dosen chsldren CTiokin? twnK
CHOKING
Csove. One minute alttr the
first dose the hardest attak
c( Croup will be icbctcd.
VUHCCTIWr
MIlLL&IIIU
Plenty to relieve the opprcs
fcion and wheeling of tha most
severe cue of Asthma. The
direct cures of Atihma by
this medicine is proof that
Dr. Thomas' liclcctnc Oilhaa
so equal u aa Asthma vuic.
In tha above eases Pr. Thomas' Eclectric 60 caa
U rehed upon. It has tiven lebef la ttrusands.
Keep it lo yanr house, Tre is hdly a esl of
the year tt CI not U usci'ul.
swu is ti v i. liii'i n rra
TJIC0
j, TH.E GHEAT ,gf3 IfS'
CMti ESraai'.Im, Kcirabtj
fi Biyant,ltf," h's'tstt, louldscr
ViHfiS Spralas, llrnl etr.. .1..
the nnnin i.srx:rl.r.iif(i..BU.Tiroig. hp.
i'l'co j run UjpiaseSf a me
3URE.
., .. , at m-.rnnisTS and pealfrs.
.IE citAitLu j. lotn.ta 10., uiutaonc, an.
OLD MATTHEW.
A coNVrrtsATiox ii v w. woimswontir.
We talked with ojioii heart, and toniruo
Affectionate and true,
A pair of friends though I was young,
And Matthew soenly-two.
We lay beneath a spreading oak,
Health a mossy seatj
And from lliotiufa fountain broke
And gurgled at our feet.
"Now, Matthew!" said I, "let us match
This water's pleasant time
With some old bolder-taint?, or catch
that stills a Milliliter s noon.
Or of Hie elmrcli-eloel; anil the eltlmes
HhK tteic bcnealli the sltado
That halt-mad thing of witty tlivmes
AVhieh you last April made!"
In silence Matthew lay, and eyed
rite spilng bcnealli tho tree:
And thus the ilear old titan replied,
Jliu gray-haired man ofglcei-r-f
No i heel;, no stay, this Streamlet fears,
How luenlly II goes!
T w 111 Imirmiir on a thousand years,
Aim now as now it llows.
"And here, on this delightful day,
I cannot elioo.su but think
How oft, u vlgtiicusiitan, I lay
Reside this fountain's brink.
"My ejes nre'tllm wilh childish lears,
My Heart Is Idly stirred, "
l'or the sauie sound Is In my cars
IIICIUU lllUBiritaAlljLMrU,
Tlius fares It still In our decay;
And yet the wiser mind
Mourns less fur what Age takes away
I hull what It leaves behind.
"The blaekblid amid leafy trees,
TlioLirkubmolhehtll,
Let loose their carols. when they please,
Are quiet when they will.1
"Willi naliire never do they wago
A foolish strife; Ihcyscc
A happj viilli, and tin If old ago
Is beautiful and free.
"Hut we in e pressed by heavy laws;
And illicit, glad no more,
We wear a face of Joy beeauso
We have been glad uf ore.
"If there be one who need bemoan
Ills kindred lahl In taitlt,
The household hearts Unit were his own,
It Is the man of mirth.
"M.v'dajs, in) friend, are almost tone,
My life has been tipproud,
And many Iue n.e; I ut by none
Am I enough belnud."
"Now both himself and mo he wrongs,
The man who thus complains!
I the ami slug in Idle tougs
Upon these happy plains;
"Anil. Matthew, for thy children dead
I'll be a son lolheu!"
At this hu grasped my baud and said,
"Alas! that cannot be."
Wo rose up from the founlnlu-sldc;
And down the smooth descent
Of tho green slieei-lraek did we glide;
And tluuugh the wood we went;
And ero we canii) to lnnard's Rock
He s ing those wltly rhymes
About tho crazy old church-clock,
And the bewildered chimes.
An Editor's Dream.
HY fscorr way.
Oner upon a time a village editor sat
in his quiet sanctum ludiislilonsly pe
iitslns tilts political cdllorlnlsln his daily
city exchanges. At length that whjcli
he read he-fan to have Its legitimate ef
feet; tho editor nodded "once, twice,
thrlee; his eyes closed, the city dally
fell from his nerveless fingers, and three
Hies lit upon his bowed bald head and
balanced all, and swung coiners, and
ciossed over, and pioinenatled till
around to the music of the rythmical
editorial snore. Tho villago editor was
asleep; and, sleeping, the villago editor
dreamed: .
He sat at his desk with weary fingers
and aching head. 'The last local Item
had gono Into type, the last inside lead
ing notice had been set up, and the
youngest apprentice stood griuly by.w Hit
lines of Impatience upon Ids brow and a
daub of Ink under his left eye, waiting
for inoio copy. Suddenly there was a
step without, the door opened, u man
entered, and taking the yacant chair in
front of tliu editor's desk, to which thu
editor had politely called his attention,
he said:
"ily dear sir, my name Is John W.
Smith. I nm a subscriber to your paper,
as you very well know, and belnc In
town to-day I thought 1 would tako tho
opportunity to call and tell you that I
like your paper all but one thing; You
don'l print enough matter on the tariff
question. Poetry and stories and funny
paragraphs and local itrius may do well
enough to (lIUip a paper with In ordln.
ary tlmos, but just now the country Is
awake to the tariff auestlon. and If you
wauiioKeepjourpaperaiiveyouvegot
I to give your subscribers light on j he
"
three columns of editorial ami Ave col-
,"'- o' -!r. -south, tariff every Ui.-
mm.
f??fc.
17
ForP
TrtAnE!MRK.
a itudl'otson.
OKCts.
.-INDEPENDENT-"
LEIIIGIITON, CAIIRON COUNTY,
That's all I've got lu say, and I hope on the Grave,' allealjig that vou did not
you'll bear It In mine. Ly the way, I ; nave room for II, ami fhen gave up near
owe you for two years subscription, and ly a column of your paper to frivolous
one of these day's I'll call In alid pay it. 'Jokes. I do not Intend to lead any-
Don t forget to let yourself looso on the
tariff: unrut.liv
As the man who wanted more llghtlon
tho tnrlft passed out, a little neivotis
looking person came In and took -the
vueatil chair.
"Ah," he said, Willi a little smile that
dldn tlookslrongcilotigh to ho out; "ati,
tny dear man, I sec you are absorbed in
thought, as nn editor always should bre.
And that reminds mc that von nro ne
glecting almost tolally neglectlm?
science. Too much of p'cilltlcs,too much
of politics, my dear man;. your paper
will never grow lp circulation while you
rieglcct science for politics. You should
devote not less than four columns a week'
to science. That's all I came In lo say,
Ho In some day and pay jou my sub
scription:- Good day; but don't forget
lo give us plenty of science."
The footsteps of the man who wanted
science had not gono beyond the editor's
hearing when a third visitor entered and
took the vacant chair as If he wcie ac
customed to sit in It.
"I am sorry to notice that you nro ne
glecting politics just at this Important
period," he said, kindly but gravely.
"You should strive to keep the vita!
principles of our party constantly before
the people. I like your paper hi all but
Its lack In this respect, and some day,
perhaps at the beginning of next year,
I will subscribe for It. I see It now
every week at Hrown's ofllce. If vou
would write about live columns of fresh
political editorials every week you
would sco your paper going right up in
circulation. That's what I told Hroivn
yesterday, anil he agreed wl Hi inc. A
story and a scientific article-occasional
ly and a little local matter and some
marriage and death notices to please tho
women are all well enough, but lean
tell you that a country paper to amount
to anything, ami have any iulluence.has
got to be full on political matters. That's
all I want to say now. When you want
any points on polities I'll be glad to help
you out.' And, by the way, don't forcet
that I'm a candidate for the legislature;
good-day."
The next visitor who took the vacant
chair that sal In front of the village edi
tor's desk spoke as follows:
"I stopped In to-day, sir, to tell you
that I do not want your paper any longer.
Ill some resnoett Ji t . r-ss
yotl do not print enough news matter'.
You should have a full page of news at
least. I don't care anything nboutyoilr
protectlu! tariff ami your tariff for reve
nue only, or anything of that tort. I
want the news when I take a paper. I
want a full account of tho minders ami
suicides and railroad collisions am!
divorce cases. Don't send me tho paper
any longer. I'll come In and pav yott
what I owe you when I have sold my
corn; good day."
And then there was a light step at the
door, and a person weatiug a severe
countenance and a shawl came In and
tool; the vacant chair.
"I am very sorry." ho said, In meas
ured (ones, and with a Ilxed and critical
staru nt the end of tho editor's nose "1
am very jorry to notice that you are
giving In your columns so little atten
tion to the cause of Prohibition the
noble cause of Prohibition. You must
rouse yourself upon this great question
and give your readers a page of It week
ly. 1 am not a subscriber to your
paper, hut I boirow It cvety week of my
neighbor and I loan him tho Jlitilncr of
Light in exchange. So you w ill obscrv c
that I have been one of your faithful
readers and 1 know just whetu you fall
shot t of making .i good newspaper. I
will leae you a few tracts from which
you should make liberal e.racts from
time to time. You will notice that this
one entitled, 'Dash the Cup Away!'
Is written by mj self. You are at liberty
to print it in full. And when I come
across anjllilne particularly good In the
columns of the Manner of Light I'll cut
It out and send It around to you. You
have a grand oprortunlty to make our
paper grow In clieiilatlon and Influence,
and I hope you will coiuo boldly to the
front on the right course and no longer
continue to devoloyour valuable space
to trivial matters, lly the way, have
you a few exchanges that you ate done
with;' Ah, that will do; lhanks: goud
day."
In tho door the man lit the shawl
passetl a person with a merry twinkle
In his eyes.
"I llkcjour paper it Is first-rate," lie
sald.as he dropped Into the vacant chair,
"except that it docs not contain humor
enough. Why don't you fill her full of
jokes and bright things by tho funny
fellows and make oitr readers laugh?
Nobody cares a cent for those political
edlloilals anil those scientific articles,
and that stuff, about the tariff you print.
Thai puts uic to sleep. Give us plenty
of joke! to shake a man's liver up and
let the tariff take caro of ftself. That's
all. He in to see you again wlich I've
moro time; ta, ta."
The nexl person who Ufbk the vaca.nl
chair had a countenance asolemn as a
second-hand hearse, Ic didn't Jook as
If he, bail quilled more than once In forty
years, and the" villago-editor took him
for an undertaker w ho wauled to adver
tise a patent embalming process apd
pay In trade.
"Sir," said tho solemn man, after a
silence that became very painful to the
village editor. "I am grieved lo notleo
the lone of levity that has recently per-
vaddl llio columns of oiir paper, and I
nm compelled to ask you on that account
to take my name of your list. YouJ
Seem tO forcet flint Lis I. n url.l
1 calamity and woe, and that a spirit of
levity in the press Is unseemly, and
tends to dr.vv attention from tlu solemn
ii-iuiiioa oi me aim tne mar pioxlmlty
of death. Last week yu dfdtt.cM tli
rr'ni my u. ;Ue e., ,-!eU ' Vi!. " .
Live and Let Live."
PA., SATURDAY, JUNE
thing light this year. That Is all I have
to say; good afternoon.
The door closed behind, (he solemn
man and then softly opened ngaln lo
admit a tlrcaniy-oyc l man with a poetic
brow ami a general, expression that
seemed to- InJIcato that he wanted
something hu had never had and never
.expected to havev
v)'I merely came in to remark," he
began, as he- took the- vncant chair,
:''lbatyouarosadlytirg1cctlngthelitcraiy
department of your. paper. I not only
have noticed it myself, but sere'ra of
my friends-have, called my--attention to
It. You should brail means run a con
tliincd story and have front two to three
gt'od short storlc? In each issue. Good
stories Is the thing that Is wanted lo
make a village paper popular. Every
body you ask will tell yoii that. A little.
now3 and sonic local matter and the
marriages and deaths should tie printed,
of course; but you shouldn't let any
thing crowd out the stories. I don't
tako your'pnpcr, but my" brother-in-law
docs, alid'I borrow It of him. I have
Intended foi some time to mention Ibis
matter to you, hut could never think of
It when I Was In town before. If you
think these suggest ions are of any value.
lo you, you may send me your paper
gratuitously for a year. Allow mo to
bid you good day, sir."
The dreamy-eyed man went out as
softly as a sixty days' nolo falljdue.and
a moment later another style of person
dropped Into the vacant ciiali'.aud spoke
thus In tones that wctesharpand quick:
I don't think I shall take your paper
another year. You are not making as
jood a paper as jou should with your
opportunities. You are not giving your
readers enough local matter. I.oeal
matter should ba the chief feature of
the villago paper. Ever) thing else
should be made to give way to local
matter. A slory now and then when
you Itavo plenty of room, and a hit of
poetry to please the young folks who am
In love, and a little news matter aro all
well enough, but If you want to nuke a
villago paper a success, you've got to
let yourself out on local matter. Give
the news of your own community and
let the big dallies take caro of the rest of
tho world. Anil, by tho way, If you are
a little short of local matter this week,
ynll n-- J owl a ..-- w..,ui ami
patented the most common-senso churn
that has over been introduced to the
people of this Stale. I'll be In agalti In
the course of a few weoks.and will then
pay you my subscription for last yen ;
psood day."
Tho villago editor was just sliding
under tho table, a crushed find mnntallv
ilcmoraliicd man, to hide Ills head lu
despair or the wasto-basket or both,
when a loud knock at tho outer door
brought him front his dreams to his
waking senses.
"How are you, old fellow?" cried a
cherry voice, and the Old Subscriber
from up tho creek took the village editor
by the hand with a hearty grasp and
shook a pain In tho editor's shoulder-
blade. And then the Old Subscriber
from up the creek seated himself in the
vacant chair and merrily spoke thus:
"Well, old" boy, you're just giving us
the very best paper ever had. A good
story every week, some poetry to please
the women folks, a column or two of
fresh humor to make us laugh and keep
or livers running on regular schedule
lime, just about enough of -polities, all
the news that is worth a busy man's
time to read, every important local 1
event written up In brceiy.readable style, '
and advertisements of all Ihe public
sales and of the stores and shops that
offer us bargains. Yes, blr; your paper
Is good enough for mc vvoith twice
what you ask for It and I want to pay
you a jear's subscription for myself,
and here are four dollars more, for
which you may send your paper lo my
son out West, and my daughter down
South, for they both like to get the news
from the old home, and you giyo them
more of it in onti issue of your paper
than I could writo In twenty letters.
Tiiat's all I've got lo say to day. Come
out and sea me w hen I begin lo make
cider, and bring a jug along If jou.'ve
got one.and If youjiaven't, I've got one
tJ lend you; good-bye."
And theold subscriber from up Iho
creel! wehl out with a smllu upon his
faco that began just below his left ear
and sntcad lelsutcly about over his faco
and then quietly meandered back lo thu
place of beginning.
Tho lllage editor was about lo pinch
himself to assure himself that lie was
really wide awake, when the cry of
"copy!" came to hls ears, and then ho
didn't think It nrccstaiy lo pinch him
self. He only folded up three crisp tw 0
dollar bills and put them In his pocket
with the beautiful thought that this
vvoild in which we live Is not half so bad
a wot Id as folks sometimes dream.
FOUR OF A KIND.
'I beg pardon, miss," he began, with
a smile meant to be charming, "hut did
you kuow there was u Hake of soot on
your face?"
"Yes, I did," was the reply snapped
out like the tracker 011 nn old whip.
Tills rather staggered the questioner,
but he partially recovered himself and
icuiurkcd:
"H-biil don't you want to wine It off?"
"No, I don't," the snapper.liko jans
ratllwl out ngaln, its the passenger
tillered,
"And may I ask why jqujwiili to
carry Hut soot On jour fair, madam?"
"Hceause you are the fourth meddling
nli! Fnnl t... l,n ...1.1 ... .,.
since I left Chicago, and I wuuiio keen
U on long enough to llnd out how many
mom th.-rc arc of you
.
-Subscribe f..r the f UIWs, iv
m,,';!,, lf
1. 00
26. 188(5.
NEWSPAPER, LIFE.
Editing a paper I3 a pleasant business
If you like It.
If It cuntalns much political matte
people won't have It.
If the type Is large, It doesn't .contain
much reading matter.- . . ;
If we publish' telegraph reports, folks
say they are nothing' but lle.
If we omit HlcuV, wo hnvo no enter-
prhe, or sttpLi-eis theui for" political ef
fect. ..--.' .
1 w'c have a few jokus folks say we
are nothing' hut rattlehcade.
If -we omit 'jukes, folks say we are
nothing hut fossils.
If we publish "original niaticr, they
cursu us for not clvlnc selections.
If' vc give? selections, people' say we
are la.J'-fcJr not writing moie, and Clvc
them what they have read before hi
some other paper.
If we glvu a complimentary notice.w e
are censured for being partial.
If we don't, all hands say we are a
great hog.
If we Insert an aitlcle which pleases
the ladles, the men become jealous, and
Vice versa.
If we attend church, they say It is for
effect.
If we remain in our office ntleuillngto
our business, folks say we are too proud
to mingle with other fellows.
If we go out they say wo don't attend
to our business.
HE SLEPT WITH THE WINDOW UP.
"You notice that I have, a bad cold,"
said the St. Louis traveling man; "now
I II bet tho cigars that not one of vou
boys can guess how I caught it."
"Hiding next to an open window,"
saitl one.
"In a sleeping car berth," ventured
another.
"Sprinkling the lawn with slippers
on," suggested a thiid.
There were dozens of guesses, but nut
one of them, the man with the cold de
clared, covered the case.
"All give it up?'' he inquired, and al)
replied lu the allirmallve. "Then I'll
tell you," he added. "You all rcniPtn
her how warm It was last night. Well,
I went to sleep with the whitlow of my
bed-ioom raised about three feet."
"That won't do," his listeners replied
In chorus; "that's too thin. Xo man
could catch cold sleeping with a window
up such a warm night as last night.
That's too thin."
't...i ...iltaminute'and sce."reiolned
the man with the cold; pausing to use
ma luin.i cmMai ..f wa9 a warm
night, I admit, and no healthy man
should tako cold sleeping with a win
dow up; hut I slept on the outside of
the window. The fact is I had been
out with the boys ami came in prett)
Into and very tired, .lust as I was get
ting teatly lo jump into bed I fell out of
tliu window and slept tho rest of the
night on the roof of tho porch, liven
then I would probably have been nil
right If tho gardener hadn't seen me
about the middle of the forenoon and
wakenened mc by turning the ltoo on
me. Thunder and lightning, but I have
got a bad cold." .
THE BARBER AND THS F0U3 0IBL8.
"Well, sir, I was never quite so cold
In iiiv life as I vvauz last evcnlnk when
I called on some ladlfrer.s of mine up
town," said the barber of a Fulton street
shop, as he rubbed tho soap deftly Into
tho victim's ears and smiled reassuring
ly at him. "You see, these ladles have
asked mo to call on them several times,
hut I haven't been off the turf since I
was shook by the daughter of the boss.
1 have been rather slry.butasthey vvaui
nice girls I borrowed the foreman's plug
hat, put a lot of newspapers inside tho
ham!, so as lo keep It fiom going over
my cars anil stulliu' me out on my way
uptown. 1 called at the fashionable
hour seven o'clock. One of the girls
let mc in, shook hands, said she was glad
lo sco mc, and asked me to step In the
back parlor. In a few mlnlts tho hull
four of the girls wauz down there mak
ing It pleasant for me. They looked un
commonly nice, bavin' led, and blue,
and yellow ribbons in their hair, but 1
hadn't bcentalkln' to'emthreo minutes
before one of 'em suddenly yelled lu a
loud voice:
"One two three four!"
"Well, you know, I looked kind of
startled, but still pleasant-llke, and then
suddenly another broke out in the mid
dle of a remark I was makin':
"One two three four!"
"Well, I sort of humped myself and
tn: 'This hero Is kind of a new deal.
Hut I'll get on to It before long. Once
more I began to make soma elegant re
marks, when a third girl yelled 'One
two three four!' which shook the
keroscnu lamp neatly off the planner.
This sort of thing went on for about an
hour, livery time 1 spoke one of theui
would yell "One two three fourl'aud
tlu'ii they'd all titter till they couldn't
get their breath. Well, dtirlu' Ihe
vvholo time this went on until I arose to
go. One of the girls a3ked tne If I had a
monogram band in my hat, and liftrd
the foreman's dicer and look out seven
or eight newspapers. Then, as I said
good evenln' they all yelled:
" 'One two three four!' "
"What vva3 It all about?"'
"1 found out the following day from
their brother that they want iiuklu fun
of my mustache and eoumlii' the hairs
on either side. I, felt kind of soro about
It at first; but the brother said that all
the best families do that, and so I let
her slide." '
IN LuNDOK.
"Ah, S'r Edward, I see you are to
lecture.''
"Ya.s."
""t subject?"
"Characteristics of Hauierieans."
"Why, you've never been lo Himirl
ca, vc j-ou?"
' N'o.but I 'ad a cibVgram from there.
I re-i i Hip ebaraeter of the TMhiuricau i
:. t 4.1 .' wr , , ' knati " ,
a Year if Paid in Advance.
If not paid in advance, $1125
in paring fruit ror canning, use a
silver knife, so that tho fruit may not
turn dark-colored.
When about to poach eggs, grease
Ihe vessel before putting In water, and
tbey will not stick.
An Aniwsr Wnnt.iL
Can any one bring us a'ejuc of Kidney
or i,iver Loinpiamt that Electric Hitters
will not cure? Wo say they can not, as
thousands of cases already permanently
cured and who are dally recommending
j-mouii; inner;, win Drove, unguis
uiscajc, uiauelef, weak back, or hnv
urinary complaint quickly cureiL They
nm If o flit, l,!...l ..,...un .1... t........i.
and act directlv on tltn illso-asrvl norla.
livery holtlo guaranteed. For sale at
ouc. a bottle by T. D. Thorn is.
Never sun feather bods. Air them
thoroughly on a windy day, in a cool
place: The sun draws llu oil and elves
thu feathers a rancid smell.
Ilartshoruc will restore the color of
woollen garments without Injury. Tur
pentine removes grease or paint from
cloth apply till paint can be scraped
off.
Dr. Frazicr's Root Bitters.
Frazler's Hoot Hitters are not a dram
hop beverage. Hut are strictly nnfdl-
clnal In every sense. They act strongly
upon the liver and kidncj's, keep the
bowels open and regular, cleanse tho
blood
Sold by druggists, $1.00. At Thomas'
urug siore.
Chloroform Is very useful in remov
ing great stains from light silk and pop
lin. French chalk Is also vcrv cood.
Clean tin with paper, and It will
shine bottet'.an.l yon won't have to keep
an old dusty piece of funnel In your box
of whitening.
Bucklen'a Arnica Salve.
The best salvn In tlm wnrM f,,r ,iic
bruises, sores, ulcers, snlt i-limou fovoi-
sores, tetter, chapped hands, chllblands,
corns, aim an sum eruptions, anil posi
tively cures piles, or no pay required.
It Is "iiaranteed lo irlvn neifnet soilsfoo.
Hon, or money refunded. Price S3 cents
per oox, ai i . u. i nomas .
A tablespoonful of turpentine boiled
with while clothes will greatly aid (he
whitening process.
Sugar, glj-cerlne and gum arable are
the. articles used to produce the glossy
ippearance of ink.
Dr.Frazer's Magic Ointment
A sure cure for all bolls, lmi-iia. anrna.
cuts, flesh wounds, soro nipple, haul
and soft corns, chapped lips and hands.
Price .10 cents. Sold by druggists. Wil
liams MTl',, Co., Prou'-s,. Cleveland.
yj. com by Aiioillas, Vlii! druggist.
Mortar and tiaint mav be removed
from window glass with hot, sharp vim -gar.
Hub magnesia or French chalk on
greasy silk ribbon, hold near the lire,
anil tiruslt oil grease.
A Sonsiblo Man
would use Kemp's llalsam forlhc throat
and lungs. 11 Is curing tnoro cases of
coughs, colds, asthma, bronchitis, croup
and all throat and lung tumbles, than
any other medicine. T'.ie proprietor has
authorized Hlery, of Wel-sport, and
Thomas, of this place, to refund j-our
money If, after taking three-fourths of
a boltle, relief Is not obtained. Price
!)0c. and SI. Trial size free.
-Hlack marks on bannana skins usu
ally indicate that the fruit has been frost'
bitten.
Put a bit of butter In.a dish In
which milk Is to be cooked, and It will
bo less liable to burn.
Shiloii's Catarrh Hemedv a nosltlvo
cure lor c.ttarili, ilipntlieria ami catiKer
motitli. tiohl by IHcrv', elssport, ami
Dr. Horn, I.chhhtoti
-When bread w ill not retain the dent
of thu linger. It Is ready for the oven.
Young mustard plants, cut while
still in tliu seed leaf, furnish a delicious
salad.
"Ilackmctack." a lasting, a fragrant
perfume. Price '! and Ml cents. Hlery,
Wclssport; Dr. Horn, Lelilahtou.
To clean zinc, rub with a cloth
dampened slightly with kerosene to get
off all thespots, then take another rlolh
and rub with bitck, and then another
to polish.
-Urcad and cake should be kept In a
tin box or stone jar.
For dyspepsia and liver coniplalnl.vou
have a prlutel guarantee on every bot
lloof Shlloh's Vitall.er. It never Mils
to cure. Sold by all druggists.
Ir. frying steak have the lard or
butter very hot. The rule for some Is,
when a bhtcUh smoke. Is thrown off then
put In your meat.
Cloves In black Ink will prevent
mould from forming on It
When Haby was sick we gave hec Caslnrin,
When she was a Child, she cried fur Castorta,
When she became MisshcrlitugtoCastnria,
When she had cnildrvn,shc gave IlicinCastorla
-Put uricaronl in cold water and
bring to a boil. This makes It more
tender than if ut Into hot water or
stewed lu milk.
ltancid butter may be sweetened by
being washed In lime water.
When one sees the IninurR f.itfi that are
sometimes used In soap making he Is Inclined
loiiniioi inucioansiiriqu nines ot I no soap.
Drovdonnlu'a Borax soan Is made from the
purest i,-intei ullo.v, and Is guaranteed pure
Will III.UIIIIUL. O-10.il
-To keep milk sweet, put In a spoon
ful of grate horseradish.
Save jour cold tea; it is excellent
for cleaning grained wood.
Avoid tha use of calomel for bilious
complaints. Ayer's Cathartic Pills en
tirely vegetable, have been tested forty
years, and are acknowledged to be 'the
host remedy for torpidity of the liver,
coitlvonass and laiiga&lipn.
't'u le-4 tbs .qualify of nittmezs.
prick them, with a pin ; if good, oil will
Insrin'ly oo'.e out. . i
Or.in,'t s n':,l l.-mons keep best when
wr.i vi., I ehs e In soft paper, and laid 1 1
, ' n . v: l,..en. ,
The Carbon AtlwtMe
All iNDEl'liNDISHT TAJIILV NKWUfAl-l-fl
Published every riuttirday In lajldchlim,
Carbon County, Pemisylrtuib, by
H. V. Morthimer. .Ti .
BANK STItEEl.
$1 00 Per Year in Advsuioc '
Host advertising medium In the tunuly
Every description of Plnln and I'aniy
JOB PRINTING.
At very low prices. We do uof hcsltMe t a
say that wuaru better cquppeil truiiiaty
other printing establishment In lids
section to do tlrst-cla-ss Job-work,
In all Its branches, at lovrprlctav.
Pimples, Boils,
AndCarlmnclesrctiiiltfrmuadcbilitiitt'sl,
ltu)OV'cri.shcd,or iuipitroconditiuuof tti
blood. Aycr'.s Sarsaimrlllaprnvcutsniid
cures those eruptions and painful tumors,
by removing their tauso; tho onlycfTwt
ual way of treating tlicta.
Aycr'.s .Sarsapartlla'hrli nrovontot t'-i
usual rottrso of Bolls, which havo pnlnr-l
onddi.slreiwcil iaoevory mirWon for .si
oral yearsG. cate, Plalnvillt;,
I vcai badly troubled with Pimples t
tho fftcrt; 'nlso'vflth n tlisciibjrutlou uf tins
skin, which showed itself In uglY Uprts
patches. Xo external trcatifiunt did
more t han temnorarv irooil. A v,r4 Kof-
saparllLa effected
A Pbrfoct Cure,
nnd I bnvo not been troubled ulnrvs.
T. W. Bodily, Hlvcr st LovvcIL Mass.
I was troubled with Holla, nml m-
health was much impaired. I licgau
usinc Aver'a r!arsniinrillii.".riiiir..' In ,ii.
thno, thu eruptions: .1(1 tUsappearril. nml
my health Wni completely resforml.
John I!, lilkhis, lidltor Htunlc; Observer.
Albemarlo, X. C. ...
I was troubled, for n long limp, with
humor which appeared oq my fneo l.i
ugly Pimnles and Blotches Avtir'si Sa.
.Kaparllla cured tne. I consider It'thu Ix
uiooit ptiruicr in llio worm. Charles XL.
Smith, Jsorth Craftsbury, Vt.
Ayer's Sarsaparilla
Is sold by all druggists.' Ask for Aycr'.s
Sarsapnrilla, nnd do not bo persuaded to
tako any other.
Prepared by Dr. J. C. Aycr & Co., Lowell, Ma.s.
I'rlco St ; tlx bottlca, 83.
No Patent No Pay.
PATENTS
obtained for Inventors In the United States
Canada nod Europe, at reduced rates. With
our principal otneo located In Washington,
llrectly opposite the United States Patiot
Office, vre arc able to attend to sill patent
business with greater promptness nnd da
spatch and at loss cost than other patent al
torners who aro at n distance Irom Wash
nglnn, and who have, therefore, to enib y
associate a tlorne vs. n We tnaLe iirellu,tnrv
examinations and furnish opinions as to
tentablllty, tree or charge, and all who ara
Interested In new Inventions and patents are
Invited to send for n copy ol our "fluldo for
obtaining Patents," whli-h la sent free ti
any address, nnd oontulns-cotni lte Instruc.
lions how to obtain patents nnd other valua
hie matter. Wo relor to the Uermnn-Amer-Ican
National Hank Washington, I). .; the
lloynl Swedish. Norweielan.niiii Dal, lib L. k
tlon.8. nt Washlmtton : Hon. Jos- Casey, late
Chlet Justice U. S. Court of Claims; to the
OIHnlnls or the U. S Potent OaTee. and to
Senators and Members, of Congress from
ery niaic.
Addross: LOIIIrJ HAOOKnSe CO.. Se
llcltors of Patents end AtinrneysalLan 1-.
Droit llulldlnit WAaaixoTnN. D. I),
DANIEL WIEAND,
Carnagcs,Wafjons,Sleigli81'v&c
fcOUMLK OK
HANK AX I HON STIII-UTS,
Lt'.HIOIlTON, l'Ksna.,
Particular attention given to
REPAIRING '
In all Its details, nt the very 'Lowest Prices,
Patrooaire rerpectliilly solicited and ixr
foit sjllafetlon guaranteed.
JUMP, M-ljr. HAN. WIEAND,
PATENTS ! !
FRAMLiN II. HOUGH,
Solicitor of Ar. & FovciEU Patents,
ll'Jj V si., near 1'. S. Patent Office,
WASHINGTON', I). C.
All business before United Ktates Patent
Ofllce alleiuled lu fur moderate fees. Patents,
Pt-nciii-cd In the rnllcilKlMlfMUid nil Foreign
Countries, trait tlnrltand Lab.l) register
ed. Itcjcelcd applications rvtiml and pros
ccutctt. Information nml ;tdvh-e its in oh
t lining Patents cheerfully furnished without
charge. .Send Sketch or Model for l'KKit
opinion as lu Patentability.
Xo Agency In the If. S. possesses super
ior facilities for obtaining Patents
or ascertaining the Patentabil
ity of Inventions.
Copies of patents furnished for 2V- each.
tf) Corrcspnndencp solicited, cor.
IISS3
lm. SCOTT'3
ul ELKCTHIC
beroining agents,
rltnrv clvon.
No risk, mdek sales. Trr.
irer to ttioso
runry given. .Miusiaciiiin Biuraniecn
Address lilt, SCO PI', M.'. Hroadway, N. York'
T. J. BRETNEY,
Iteepeetf, illy announces to the merchants of
Lelduhion and otnera that he Is prepared lu
do all kinds or
Hauling of Freight, Express
Matter and Baggage
at very reason-idle prices. Hy prompt at
tention to all oiders he hopes lo merit a share
ol publio patronage. Iftsldeneo. corner of
Pino aad Iron Street, Lehlghton, Pa.
Orders lor hauling left at (I. M. aweeny
.Son's Sturo will rwu-lvo prompt attention.
T. J. HKETKEY.
Oct. I'A ISSI-3in.
13. F. LUCK EN BACH,
DhALEIt IN
Wall Papers,
Bordcis & Decorations,
Books, Stationery, Fancy Goods.
Window .Shades & Fixtures,
' Latest StybwouAde and put up, II dtllran.
Paints, Oi.Viirnislx, Putty,
Br'ii lies & geiiecal Painters'
Suiiplifs.
No. 01 Bfjauiyay. Kancli (tat, Pa
ivlu4- tho L.uadwuy 11 jh e.