Advertising Rates. We desire It to be distinctly understood that no advertisement will be Inserted in tbo columns of Tin Gakbox Advooat tbat may bo received from unknown putties or firms unless accompanied by the cash. The following are our oxlt terms! nxtaquAitietlO lines), One year, each insertion 10 nla. Blx months, each Insertion cts. Three mouths, each Insertion 20 els. Less than three months, first Insertion $ each subsequent Insertion 2S cts. Local, notices 10 cent per line. H. V. MORTHIMER, I'ublislier. CARDS, Attorneys. SNYUKR, ATTORNEY AT LAW. OrricR-Cornerof Bank Street tc Dankway, Sod'hutUIIng above tbe Carbon Advocate Printing Office. May IB, HSJ-nXS LElliaitTON. ATTORNEY AND COONSKLLOft 7 M. U.VPSI1EK, AT LAW, DAStSiasiT,LiBtaaTOKlrA. It.slMUt.sodCollsctlon A?cy W''1"0"" (II R..1 Kstate. CoDVejane.nn .lestly done Col Hllons promptly m. rt.ttllnR Kdl.t.f uf td.ntti .fmcl.lt J. May Us cousuiieo iu r.n.u m A 1 1 irmin. ' v Physicians and Dentists. REMOVED. W. G. M. Seiple, Physician & Sureesn, formerly occupied by A. J 1ioi.lknmavIi, Whore ho will bo pleased to see his friends ind patrons. s-'oFl'lOE JHHIKS : rrom 0 to 0 o'clock P. M. March 31,1883. TQH. W. W. ItEBERs PHYSICIAN AND 8UR0E0N. MAIN STREET, PARRYVILLE, Pa, May bo consulted In the Eaullslt or Oerman Language. March 21, 1583. TTT A. DERlIAXEIt, M I)., ' PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON Spfll tttrntlon psld to Chronic DImims. omco: South Kast cornur Iron and 2nd its., Lo hlchton.Pa. April 3, 1675. -Jjf B. KEIIEIt, SI. D. V. 8. Examining Surgeon, rnAOTtCINO PKYalCIAN and SUUOEON. OKricc; iiank Street, Itxnr.u's iilocx, Lehigh- l5'ay ho consuiltd lu tho Clerm n Lancuose. Nov. J". D nc. .v. nowuu, PHYSICIAN ANU SUHOEON. May be consulted In the Herman or English l-t'iguage. flrwidK '.i.poslte Durllng's Drug storo, isANKSt., Lehighton. Pa. jan.W-yl W. A. Oortriglit, D.D.S., H. V. MortTniMER, Proprietor. INDEPENDENT-" tfve and Let Live." SI. 00 a Year if Paid in Advance. VOL. XL, No 39. LEHIGHTON, CARBON COUNTY! PA., SATURDAY, AUGUST 18, 1883. If not paid in advance, $1.25. 1 I "o CD tn cr o 4 o 5 -o Q- o m o CO a Pi a o 4-J to a V 4 O M t3 o "o CD CD 03 . to m ' id CD CD Q "O ca CO CD o S CD "3 r CD CO CO CD to o iO-"c5 Q O M H Eev. Father Wilds' EXPERIENCE. The Rar. Z. r. Wilds, well-known city missionary In New York, and brother of the late eminent Judge Wilds, of the Massachusetts Bupremo Court, writes as follows t "7f K. 51 St., Kew rot, Mat 10, 1882. Mitssns. J. C. Ayer & Co.. Ucntlemen t Last winter I was troubled, with a most uncomfortable Itching humor affecting more especially my limbs, which Itched so Intolerably at night, and burned so Intense ly, that I could scarcely bear nny clothing over them. I was also a sufferer from n severe catarrh and catarrhal cough; my appetite was poor, and my system n good deal run down. Knowing the value of Avtcn'a SAns.fAnu.t., by observation of many other cases, and from personal use In former years. I began taking It for the above-named disorders. My appetite Im proved almost from the first dose. After a short tlnio tho 'fever mid Itching Mere allayed, and all signs of Irritation of the skin disappeared. My catarrh and cough wcro also cured by the same means, and my general health greatly Improved, until It Is now excellent. I feel a hundred per cent stronger, aud I attributo' these results to tho use of the SAUSAfAlilLLA, which 1 recommond with all coiiltdenco as the best blood niedlcino ever devised. 1 took It In small doses throe, times a day, and used, In nil, less than tiro bottles. I place theso facts at your service, hoping their publication may do good. Yours respectfully, Z. V. WILD?." The above Instanco Is but ono of the many constantly coming to our notlco, which prove the perfect adaptability of AYtn's Sarsa PAR1LLA to tho cure of all diseases arising from Impure or impoverished blood, and a weakened vitality, Ayer'sSarsaparilla cleanses, enriches, and strengthens the blood, Itlmulates tho action of the stomach and bowels, and thereby enables the system to resist and overcome tho attacks of all A'cmri !cmi Dheatet, Rruptiant of the SUn, ."ficu natiim, Catarrh, Ointrul DtlUily, and all llsorders resulting from ioor or corrupted blood and a low stato of the system. rnrfARED in r- Dr.J.C.Aycr&Co., Lowell, Mass. . Sold by all Druggists; price Si, tlx bottles lor o.i. xn -a n o o m w "u 0) .a a a 4J CO TJ o xn OFKICE: 0i)slletlie"iirnadnay House," Mauoh Chunk, Pa. Patients have tho benefit of tlie latest Im. nrnvoinents In mn -h inl-.al appllancca and hiiHnotholuririinont In all surgical ,.r''i,.U0ffr.liW m ,k. .i...nl. THOMAS UBSI BRBn, AND T 0KNERA.L INSURANCE AGENT Iht .'ollowlos Compsnles are IlprMatod! LK it AN )N MUTUAL I'lKK. ItBAIllNO MUTUAL FIBE, WVOMINO Fill!!. iTlfKndtheartAV renn.rtvonli and Mutual llocso Thlcl ?arc'!5rd7i,,'uram'",.K..;MEBEB. 'qarbon house, J. W. BAUDENIIUSH, PROPRIETOR, BakkSt., LimoiiTox, Pa. The runeon HoBaunnurs first-class aoenra. bv tho llav or Week on Reasonable Terms, Kiilce Ohtr.. Wines and l.louori always on bind. Ood Sheds aud Stal.fet. Willi atter- live Hostlers, auauiicu. r No Patent No Pay. PATENTS obtained for Inventors In the United States Canada and Europe, at reduced rates. With our principal office located In Washington, directly opposite tho United States Patent Office, wo are able to attend to all patent business with greater promptness and de spatch and at lo-s cost than other patent at torneys who are at a distance from Wash tngton, and who have, therefore, to employ associate attorneys." We make preliminary examinations and furnish opinions ns to ia. tcntablllty, free of charge, and all vlio aro Interested In n.w Inventions and t-atcnts are lu'lttd to rend for a copy ol our "Oulde for uDtalnlnx Patents," which is sent free to nny a'ltircss, ami contains comi leie instruc tions how lo obtain patents and other valua Mo matter. Wo refer to the OcrmamAtner Ican National Dank Wushli gion, I). U.; the Itoyal Swedish. Norwegian and Danish L'xa Mont. at Washington: lion. Jos. Casey, late Chlel Justice U. S. Court of Ulnlms; to the Officials. of Ilio U. 8 Patent ll.TJcejind.to every Stato. Address: I.OUIS HUHJKU Ji uu., o llcltors of Patents and Attorneys at Iw.Le- Droit Building, wasiiootoh. u. . AYER'S CATHARTIC PILLS. Purgative Medlclno sure Constipation, Indigestion , Headache, and all Bilious lisorders. Sold everywhere. Alwaya reliable. Best TUB KISS in SCHOOL. IT J, w. raLKXR. A District School not lar awor, Mid Berkshire hills, one winter's day, Was humming with Its wonted noise Ofthrerscore mingled girls and boys, Some few upon their tasks intent, But more on future mischief bent. The wbllu the mailer's downward look Was fastened on u cop' book, When suddenly, behind his back, Rose sharp and clear a rousing smackl As 't were a battery of bliss Let oir in one tremendous kiss. "What's thai?" the startled master erica. "That, tliir," a' little imp replies, "Wath William Wlltith. If you plealhe, I saw Mm kith Tliuthannah l'eathrl" , With frown tn make u statuo thrill, The muster thundered, "Hither, Willi" Like wretch o'ertaken in his track, With stolen chattels on his hack, Will bung his head In fear and shame, And to that awful prrsenco came, A great, green, bashful simpleton, The butt of all good untured fun. With smile suppressed, and birch upraised The threateoer faltered! "I'm amazed That you, my biggest pupil, should Be guilty of on act at rudel Befuro the whole set school to boot, What evil genius put ym lo 'tt" " 'T was she herself, sir," sobbed tho lad, "I didn't mean to be so bad, But when Susannah shook her curls, And whispered I was 'frald of girls, And darsn't kiss a baby's dull, I couldn't stand it, sir, at all! But up and kissed her on the spot. t know bon-boo I ought to not, But somehow, from her looks, boo. hoo, I thought she kinil o' wished mo to!" A Yoitoire Love LepiL A fJTJlflTS! wanted.to sell Edison's Mus ALT Ji 1 O icai Telephono and Ellison's Instantaneous Piano and Organ Music. En close stamp lor otaloiiuo and terms. EDISON MUSIO CO., Philadelphia. Pa dcc.l.niO. I IS A SURE CURE for ntt dlaonaea of the Kidneys and C -LEVER It ha rpcolflo action on thi.mwt Important organ, eaabllnr It to throvr off torpidity and Q Inaction, stimulating tha healtlw aecrttlan 1 of tlio Ello, and by keeping tha bowcla In free condition. e-Tcctini? its rcr-ilarl"-iarr9. fSiaaav' IXyou aro suCcrlnff from 4 IvaUlariClfl xnalirla, have the chU-3,rf areblUou. dyapenUo. cr comtloated. Kid. ( r ji.T74-H1lariiwv1l.wfllf.ti(4lr1.. D SOLD DY DRUCC.DTG. PrlCO SI. pnie enamored other, and desired to be wedded next day; and the marriage was celebrated with mnch splendor, the bride looking more beautiful th-n tvtr lu ber wedding garments. After n day or two tbe knight told bis nephew tbat he must go to Yi.rk to leek Ithe kulaht, bis father, and trll bim that ju had obeyed bU commnuds. Tbe lyouoR buabaud was uuwilliug to leave bU wife; however he departed with maY promises of n speedy return. Ho bad not been gone long when bis father arrived they bad minced each ntber on tbo road and when tbe York Ikulgbt learned what bad happened be was olmoht mad with rage. lie asked hU daughter-in-law to come with bim outside the castle, then, seizing ber by tbe bnir, he dragged tier to the sea-sbore and drew a dagger. She fell on ber kuees. "Sparo my life,'' she said, "and tell me bow I have angered you?" At this be told her ber history, and bade her prepare for death; bat at list ber tears aud entreaties to far softened htm that be aheatbed his dagger: then, plucking n gold ring from bis finger, he I fliiDg It into tbe sea. "Swear to me," be said, "tbat yon will not come Into my sight or tbat of my son till tbat ring Is on your finger, and I will spare ynnr life." She swore, and then she fled in wild terror, till she fonnd berstlf in n strange plice, obliged lo beg for food. At last, nfler long wanderings, she be cane cook to n nobleman. bne day, as she looked out of tho win dow at tbe guests arriving for n bucquet sbe saw her cruel enemy and bis ton, her diarly biloved husband. Sbe drew back hastily, and tben Bho trembled so that she could hardly cook dinner. Just be fore it was ready n fisherman came to tt e door. lie bad brought n splendid fi h for sal', and she took it In aud began lo clean it. All at onco she baw something glitter inside it. She looked closer; it was the knight's OF 00URSE SHE FAILED. "So she's all broken up, ehl" replied ft Detroit landlady when she heard of tbe failure of another woman in the same business in Toledo. "Well, I knew it was only a question of time. I was In her bonse fcr a week, and I saw plainly that sbe bad no economy about ber. I tell you, a landlady must think and pUH." "Yes." "Not only in great tblogs, but in small. There's philosophy In running a boarding-bouse." "Hov,?" "Well. I can't stop to tell yon mere than one Instuuce, I have buckwheat pancakes every morning for breakfast for fourteen boarders. They nse butter on their cukes, I keep tbo butter on ice until it is as bard as a rock. Tbe cakes are all placed on tbo table, not smoking hot, bnt mildly warm just warm enough to soften tbe ontside of a lump of butter. In this way I make a saving of two pounds of butter pir week over tbe usual way of rushing on hot pnuenkes. It's only one dodgooutof a buudred, but the laudlady who doesn't play more or lees of them must ultimately come to gri.f." Some 300 years ago a very poor msn kept a shop nuderntatb the Minster tow ers. His luulutss was ni poor a. he wni; he had already live children, and one morniucbls uife cave birth to a sixth, a fine little oirl. Tha noor father aiohed; ''"t!! tuen she ceased trembling, her fear be took tbe child in tho shop nod laid it dunnoH to jov.and she cooked dinner to thuslasm and promised to do It. A CRASH AVOIDED. "Charles,'' said Mrs. Petosky, "do you know tbat we are living too extrava gantly?" Cburles sighed heavily, threw away his newspaper and knocked the ashes from bis cigar Into a nickle-plated cus pidcro. "At least you nre," pnrsued Mrs. Pe tosky. "You are quite extravigaut with your cigars, your clubs, your wine and billiards. Now I wnut to make a propo sition to you.'' "Propose," said Charles with tbe air of a martyr to woman's wbims. He little reilizud what n Rreat bead his little wife carried on her shoulders. "Well, I have just purchased a toy bank, tod I want you to allow ma one cent a day. Will you do it? ' Charles smiled at his young wife's en- WISE AND OTHERWISE. Something of a wng The tip of a dog's tall. "Could ye lind me the loan ofu pipe and tobacky?" said Pat; "I have a matoh." A barefooted little boy stepped on n nee. and soon after said to bis mother: "M, I didn't know thut bees bad splin ters In their talM ' It is said tbat onions will keep the lips from chapping. It will cortainly keep the chaps from tbe young ladies lips. First class in music stand up. "How many kinds of metre are Ibtn?" "Three, air long metre, abort metre, and meet her by moonlight alone." Said be, "Maliuda, yoi are my dear est duck!" 8ld she,' "Joseph, yon are trying to atuff me." Bho was too sage for bim. Tbe boys are shocked at the report that Edison has invented a ' lightning rod for schools.' She certainly had a pretty foot, but after nil it didn't make half so much Impression on bim ns the old man's. Clara (lookiug at a display of bon nets, ete.): "Don't you think they are very handsome?' Amy (whose thoughts are on the other side of the street): "Very, especially tbe one with tbe Mack mustache." "Oh, she was a Jewel of a wife!" said Pat, monrntng over the loss of his better half; "Sbe always struck me with tbe soft eud of tbe mop:" A great editor paralyzed: A young lady at' a watering place paralyzed n great editor when she said to him, sweet ly. "O, I know what you are here far. i'on'vo come here to get ittms for your paper. ' Tho badge of his profession: "No, tab," exoltedly exclaimed a Southern darkey dominie, "dat whitewash on tho slecbs o my coat nebber come from de roosts ob n chicken house. Dcta marks, ah. Bib.' Buy Your Spring and Summer s Groceries, Queensware, etc., at 0. M. SWEENY & SON'S 9 Old Post-Office Building, Bank St. Lehighton. -pACKKRTOS H0TKI.. Midway between Mauch Chunk & Loldschton LEOPOLD MEYER, Pnuritl.TOE, Psekerton, Ponn'a.. This well known hotel Is admlrabU Vefltted, and lus tho bostaco..m;nudall..ns l''M'''""n; entand Iransleni boarders. ;x"u',nl. ? " and tho very best liquors. Also nn i t-iules altaehed. rll1- INDIAN BLOOD SYRUP VIU EllllERT'S Livery & Sale Stables BANK STUfaiST.l.l5IIXnilTON, Pa FAST TROTTING HOUSES, EttSUATT CAUUIAOES, Abo positively LOWEll ritlOF.S than any other Hvery in tho foamy. i-ariaand han.lnamo Carilase; for Funer.l snrooseaan.lWeOdlnsa. u.vviu Nov. . ISN. Cures all diseases of tho Stomach, Liver, Bow sis, Kidneys, Skin and Blood. Millions testi Y to its efficacy in healing the above named ri' diseases, and pronounce it to he tho 'livrin Hart BEST REMEDY K3JOWN TO MAN. Guaranteed to Cure Dyspepsia. JA GENTS WAN T E Dfl Laboratory 17 West 3d St., New York City, Druggists sell it. LYKENS, DAuruiH C6 Pa. Dn. Clauk Joiissojc- Mv bo.lv was literally covered with Teller, tor whleb 1 could gf I no reuei uniii i tonn lUrlNlilAN BLOOU SYRUP, which has effectually cured in . 1 recommend It hliihly. Eriuuu iir.iiitt.iA. perfection. "Who is jour coolc, my lord?'" asked tbo knight, who, notwithstanding bis cruelty, was extremely fond of good eat ing. "Sbe Is n strango girl, but she is fair to see," bis host answered; "aha came begging to my door, aud I took ber in from charity; tben turning to the ser vants behind him: "Some of you bid the eook come up into the diuing-hail." The girl washed her face and smoothed her hair, tbeu she put on ber best clothes and with the ring on ber finger sbe in. tered the ball. Tbo guests looked at ber with wonder, rose.' But the knight uttered a fierce-yell and upon the counttr. Tben be fairly broke down and sobbed over his new possess ion. Now, tbe shop was nn open one, and n knight who happened to be riding by stopped bis horse whtu be saw the poor man's distress. "What ails yon. friend?" he askod. Alas," wild tbe father, "I bnve al ready five young one, nnd know not how to find food for them, nnd lo, my wife baa but now given me another. I would tbat it had nut come Into this suf ferine world." "I will sea what will happen to her," tbe knight said; for be was a sorcerer, and he ulaays carried his greatBook of The poor man gazed at'blra as he read, All ut once be saw the knigbt turn pnle. bis bair bristle on bis bead, but be spoke S(nrted from bis seat Ho drew bis with a smiling face to the distressed sworj. and made a rush at her, but sbe father: smiled aud held up her baud, On it be "Be condoled, friend; I have no daugh- gaw tjje ring which be had cast into the ttr, and if you will giye me your unwcl- Belli He saw, too, that her ynung bus- come infant, I will adopt it and make it Dami gl0od beside her nnd clasped her in hair to my possessions." his arms. Then tbe knigbt bent his Tho father's delight was great; be head, for bo saw that fate bad been too loaded tbe kuight with thanks, and atrouc for bim, and be suffered her to placed the baby iu bis arms. Tbe knight jn-ui peacefully witbber loving huabnud, spurred bis horse and rode sw illly to the ftnij HDe became famous tt rough tbe bauks of tbe Ouss nt some distance from country for her beauty, her courtesy aud the city. Here he dismounted nud ilutig her goodness. Because, my dear," said Mrs. Petos ky, "we never know how soon misfortune may overtake us." Two years from the date of this con versation tbe crash came. Charles found himself on tbe wrong side of a corn deal and was penniless. With trembling limbs be dragged himself borne and told bij wife while ringing his hands dts palriugly. But the brave little woman uever blanched, but with n joyous light iu ber soft loving eyes sho made a break for the toy hank, and emptied the con tents into' her husbands' bands. "Here take tbisl" she cried wbilr great tears of joy welled from her husband's -1 almt- tbe iufuut into tbe middle of tbe river, for iu the Book of Fate be bad read this new-born babe was destined to marry bis only son. Tbeu he rode away rejoicing. But the river was more compassionate lbn tbe kuigbt. It washed the baby ashore and a fisherman hearing its erica carried it home to bis cottage. Fiftem jears after, tbe knight with many of bis friends came riding along the bauks of tbo Oust, aud stopped at the fUberniau'a cottage to buy a fish. A young girl came to the door, aud the kuight and all bis friends werestirtled by ber wjuderful benuly. Her manner, too, was so sweet aud gracious tbat us they weut on their wny they continued to praUe ber nud ber loveliness, till the knight said with n laugh "I will srarcb my book aud see which ot you Is at stlued to ue the nsuir-niaia- eu's husband But bis .iug) ter ceased and bis face Ingerroll. 'And that ber loving kiss grew white when be read tbat this was poisoned all tbe spriugs of life. tbe very maiden he bad fluug into tbe you Spring Announcement ! J. W. ItAUDENBUSlI Rerpeetlully annmine-s to the iMlo lliat he has oneneJ a NEW I.IVERY STABLE In eonntotloo with his hotel, and IS prcpareu to furnish Teams fur Funerals. Weiito or Business Trips on shortest notice and most llberalierns. . All orders loft at tho0rtvm ' nroinnt attention Stable on North S'reet, next the hotel, Lehlghlun an-Tl . MiirnsflN k. SMITH, Hft'l H. N a Sollelmrs of U. S. and for- 1 UAJJUAMi C dsn Patents. No, 7( nn Ktr.at. cor. Of U. opp. I' O. r.iv" i No charxe 'or advice. The undersigned calls the attention of his many friends and patrons to his Large and Fashlonablo Stock of Wa.lilnK-to?. I . H. . o rc.ponoou ... TAin,in Jt lio.. IU",-. - ' Wmlilrmlon, 1. O. tlons froo. l'amphlet of lnstruc. OS-YOUTH AND H1DDIE JUKU, Henri aumn and von will ret a 1U1U1UUUU Spring Goods, Consisting of BOOTS AND SHOES Of every description and Style In the Market, Including a special line of Lady's Fine Shoes Also, a full line of Umbrellas, Sun Shades, Hats, Caps, fcc. te. Our Young Ladles and tlentlemen will Had It to their advantage to give him .call before purchasing elsewhere, as they will nnd the BEST SELECTED STOCK In Town AT BOTTOM PRIDES. 014 ost Oie BilittBffl SW, LEHIGHTOH BOB INQERSOLL AND THE PRIEST. Father Lambert, a Catbolio priest, in refuting some of Bob Ingersoll's argu ments, dots it in suob a logical way that there is but little left ol the acoffer's ques tionings. Here is n specimen: 'Iugrrsoll. 'It is claimed that tbrongb women the race bas fallen.' "Comment. Clsimed by whom? Chris- tianitv docs not hold that the nice tell through womau or tbe disobedKr.co of Eve; for Eve was uever tbe responsible agent of humanity, asAdam was. It was through bim, as St. Paul informs us.tbat tbe ruco fell. 'By one man. sin entered into the world, nnd by blu, death.' 'I believe yonr father was a Presby terian, and be, no doubt, taught you tbe Prehbyttrian catechism, iu which be read tbe Hues: 11 -In Adam'd fall We sinned all,' A FACT FROM FATHERLAND. A criminal urosecutbn tbat bas for a year past largely occupied publio nt teution iu Uermauy, bas just come to i conclusion. The question involved was whether a pleasant girl had any rights which a member of tbo nobility was bound to respect. Freiberr Ton Rothtn hau having suspocted a sixteen year-old girl, living in a Sileslan village in which be possessed an estate, of having stoleu a trilling sum from his bouse, had ber laid over a bench, aud in bts own person ad ministered what he considered proper punisbmeut with a horse whip. Th occurrence was regarded with a degree of feeling that went far beyoud tbe Individ uals concerned iu it. The plebeian pub Ho felt tbat it was a patrician outrage upon tbeir rights and they clamored for the puulsbmeut of tbe distinguished of fender. A criminal prosecution was finally Instituted, and now, after litign tion lastingmore than year. Freiherr von Ilotbeubau has been found guilty and sentenced to pay a fine of $27.50 The complainants demanded that be senteuced to eight months' Imprisonment and to pay a fine of $150. Tho defeuco snscested u due of $7.50, Tbe leuieut sentence has caused great disatMaction but at tbe same time tbe fact tbat tbe defendant was punished at all is regardei ns a wholesome warning lo a certai ct iss of arrogaut nobles aud landed pro, drletors. stream long ago. He soon made an excuse to lcavo bis friends, and, going back to the oottngr asked tbo fisherman if be would allow bis .tugbter to carry a message from him to hU brother, a noble kuigbt who lived nt So.uborongb. Tbe fisherman consent! d, and then the knigbt wrote a letttr, aud sealiug it gave it to tbe gill. Sbe put tbe letter into ber purse and st.irtrd nt once on I tr journey. Wbeu night fell, she went to a little inn, where sbe asked for a bed, nud slept soundly. Now, it happened tbat a thief found bis way iuto tbe inn tbat night, and prowling about be came into tbe maldeu's room aud saw ber purse ly ing on tbe table. In it be found the let ter wblcb he opened and read. It con tained these words: "Dear brother- Take tbj bearer and put ber to death immediately," The thief turned bis lantern on the face of the sleeper, and seeing how young nnd beautiful sbe was be felt compassion. 'She deterves a better fate," be said, "and sbe shall have it." Tben be wrote a note In tbe handwriting of tbe knigbt: "Dear brother Take the bearer and marry her at ouce to my son.'' He tben sealed tbe letttrand placed It In tbe girl's purse instead of tbe other. Next morning tbe girl waked early and hurried on to Scarborough. Tbe knight's brother received ber kindly, bnt when be bad read tbe letter be embraced ber, and went to seek bis nephew, who bappened to be on a visit to bis cantle. As soon ss tbe youth beheld tbe maiden bs be- Comment. Fudge. -Ii gtrsoll "Will Mr. Black have Ibe kiuduess to state a few of bis objections lo tbe Devil.' "Comment. 'The principle objection to bim is tbat be is a liar and tbe father of liars. Iugersoll. 'Again I ask, why were tbeJewibh people as wicked, crncl and ignorant, with a revelation from God, as other uatlous were without? "Comment. This question Is based on a false hypothesis. I deny tbat lbs Jews were as wicked, cruel and Ignorant as other nations of tbeir lime. Tbey were angels in comparison with the diseased, rotten and pestiferous races about them. "Ingcrsoll. 'Why were tbe worshipers of false deities as brave, as kind and generous as those who knew tbe only true aud living Clod?' ' Comment Because tbey were not. Tbe loglo of tbe author is both hot and slmn. and as Good for a Protectant as for a Romanist. am de badge of my professhun, The Carbon Advocate. An Independent Family Newspaper . Published every ATURIIAY, in Lehighton, Carlion Co., Pa., by IIAItJCY V. niOltTIII.MUIt. omos-nAVKWAY. a ulioit dlttr-uce above tho LeblRh Valley R. II. lirjior. Terms: $1.00 perAnnnm in Aflyance Kvsni nrjcniroox or i-lain .uti fakct Job Printing -a.t vnnv low paioiiu A daring squib: "nave you Botany rouro'clocks iu jour flower garden?' asked oue Sammerville gentleman of nn. other. "Four-o clocks." was the reolv: no, sir, there is no four-o'clocks about mine; it is all day with my flowers; the bens have been at 'em." - A satisfactory answer: Barber Dear me, your beard's very strong; how often do jou sbavt?-' Van Jboom (Dutch mnrintr) "Dree times a veck fftry lay bot SondaU; ten I shaves ef- ftry day." Hovv tbey last: Gentleman "now can you afford to sell these riflus for five dollar? Tbey certainly can't be eood for much. Tbey won't stand muoh ser vice, will thej?" Deahr "Tbey will what 'UoMFSiAbe. man who fires them; - , - you waul?" Gemic without a rifle. " A mau may smile and smile, etc.: Forever and forever farewell. Cassius. If we do not meet agaiu, wby we ahull smile," said Brutus, aud bow pleasant it is to contemplate tbat "age does not wither ncr custom stale" this delight ful habit of "smiling" when friends meet. Moral obliquity: At a recent Sunday school picnio tbe superintendent, puss lug among tbe crowd juU settling down to luncb in tbe grove, overheard an angry Teuton iu tbo midst of a group of children unburdening bis mind with vigorous profanity. Touching him on the shoulder tbe superintendent said My friend, you must not swear here.' "Not sobweiir? Uud vy uod?" "Wby thrse children must not hear such awful words:" "Veil, vosu't does jusht the children I was n sebweariu' at? He!" Adding injury to insult; A btll.sty- Hsb-looking womau, leading a greyhound, passed tbe balcony of a Saratoga hotel, on wblcb two gentlemen were standing. 'What a beautiful creature," in a yoice that proved loud enuugh for the lady to bear, Turulug very red in tbe face sbe glanced angrily at tho speaker and said: "You have no right to insult me, sir." "Excuse me, madam' be replied, "yoc flatter yourself. I was alluding to your dog." THE VIRTUE OF A GOOD SLEEP. The Beit That Men, Women dad Children Sbouli Have. "I do Lot think u person should be waked nt morning, nud for tbis reason when a man falW to slep hi' Is iu a rleep for repair, ns tbe railroad pit rnr His fiamo and all its Intricate ronrhiii'.-ry is being overhauled and madt ready tor the nxl day's work. Tho wear of the prev ious day is bclug rep tired. Nature is doing that hrrself. She knows what tha tired frame needs just ns she knows bow to make the heart throb and send tbe blood coursing through tho veins. Tben she lakes that tired Irame, lays It down on a bed, surronuds it with the refresh ing air of night, covets it with the sift darkucss And lets tho man rest. 'Tired nature's sweet restorer, balmy fclvep,' visits bim, uud as tho hsurs wear by his energies are renewed, bis strength cornel back, and finally, when morning breaks and Ibe sunlight steal tbrungh tbe lat tice, be opens bis jcs ami It himself again. Or it be is early to bid be awaken with the cocks' crowing. Now who shall go to that man's side au hour before be opens his eyes nud s.iy to nature, stand aside uud let bim get up? Ho bas had enough rest. Well, nature will say 'You cuu take him if you uill.bntl willobarge him with un hour's loss of hleep aud I'll oollect it out of bis bom s a id tit rves and bis hairs and eyesight. You cau't cheat mp, I'll find property lo levy on."' "What would bathe rtsnlt if a man wire to lote sleep habitually for a num ber of year?" "You nre a reporlti?" "Yes." "You work how many hours a. daj?'1 'Fifteen. I go lo work at 12 m the daytime and quit nt 3 nt night." "How old are you now?" "Say twenty-three." "Well, when you ore thirty in yearn you will be filly-five lu aches nnd all-. ments older than I niu. Go nskyour morning paper prinltrs bow tbey feell Aro their steps elastic ure their ejes bright- nre they fagged out nre tbey dragging out their llvts? Put them beside the men who do day work, nnd how do they compare?" "Yon say a man ought to slep all ha wants to?" "Yes, and so should a child. A baby should sleep with its mother; a child should be (.out to bed early and be al lowed lo wake of its own accord in tbn morning. As for school girls,' many a girl who has a dozen studies would be better occupied chasing butteiflies, or training flowers, or galloping a pony, or dancing. I would prefer to bnve n daugh ter htaltby, sweet-tempered, sensiole aud beautiful, without Latin, algebra and grammar, thim to have one ever so ad vanced lu her humanities, with health ruined, or perhaps lying under n marblo the vTgoT and' glory of perfeoYh' ea 1 th Iban to draw rents from property for whieh I havo exchanged tho blessings of a sound constitution." A Bate Ball Alphabet. (fYoin Jlcadinq,It., Game.) P. stands for pitcher with twist and with curve, C. stands for catcher with courage and nerve; lb. is first base.sure catch and quite tall, 2b, -is second base, alive for tho ball; 3b. third base for hot ona hit low, S. S. is short stop, must be a sure threw; L. F. is left fi;l J, good batter, sure catch, F. ceutre field, must help win the match; F. is right field, for high ones alert, is for tenth man, to go when Que'4 butt, is for sprains tbat the players sustain. Is for St. Jacobs Oil, tbat cures aU tbeir pain. A band (horse measure) is four 1 ehen, Slow rivers flow five miles per bonr, A rifle ball moves 1,000 miles pe bonr. Tbe Mormons boaBt that tbey will make 20,000 converts tbis year. A barrel of pork weighs two hundred p.iunde. A firkin of butler wjlghs fifty-six pounds. "Whose home is this?" "Moggs." "Of what built?" "Logs." "Any neighbors?" "Frogs." "What is the soil?" "Boggs." "The climate?" "Foggs." "What do tbey live on?" "Hogs." "How do tbey catch them?''. "Dogs," Kankakee has a justice who beats them all in .be way of doing up a job of matrimonial splicing with neatness and dispatch. This is his formula "Have 'er?" "Yes." "Have '1m?" "Yes." 'Married, $2." Someone wrote to florace Greeley inquiring if guano was good to put on potatoes. He said it might do for those whose tastes had become vitiated with A DECENT SEWBPAPEB. Horace Greeley said: "There is noth ing easier than to edit a blackguard newspaper, and nothing more flimcuit than to get up a newspnper free irom fonluess and blackguardism. Fish wo men aud bar-room loafers are skilled in tbe art of bandying epithets aud bespat terlng each other with dirty words. It requires no brains to do this; but it does require both heart and brains to print a oooga. rnm, unt he preferred gravy newspaper that a decern man or womau Rnd bMeu can read without a blusb." J A Mp of tbs foot miT be recovered, HubscrTbrthrAiTcoATS. "8 tB. "r. BURDETT'S H0TI0N OF HAB.D W0BK. Dju'I be afraid of killing yourself with over work, sou. is tho faootious way Ibe Bnrlingtuu Hawkeye has of counseling young men to tbrilt. Men seldom work so hard as that on tbe sunny side ot thirty. They die sometimes; but It bscause tbey quit work at 6 P. M and don't get borne until 2 A. M. It Is tbe Intervals that kill, my son. Tbe work gives yon au appetite, for y ur meals; it leads solidity to your slombcr; it gives you a perfect and grateful appreciation of a holiday. There are young men wLO do not work, my ton young men who make a livinc by sucking the end of a cane.and who can tie a necktie in elcveu d iff. rent knots, and uever lay a wriukle in it: who can spend more money in day than you can tarn iu a month, son and who will go to the sheriffs to buy nostal card, and apply to tbe offico ni . - - - the street commissioner for a msrrligi llce'rse. So find out what you waut to bs and do, sou, take off your coat an make a success in the world. Tbe busier you are the, the less evil you will bo apt to get iuto. tbe sweeter win ue your sleeu. the brighter and happier your holiday, and the better sati.fiod will the world be with you. TALLEST TREE IN THE WORLD. It seems tbat Ameiica. nfler al', i- un able to make ber claim to the potsusioa of tbe tallest aud largest trees in the world. Every oue has read the marvels of the Yosemlte valley and of the Yellow stone park, tbe hugb national sporting1 ground of tbo Uulted States. But what nro the giants of California lu compari son with a tree which has lately been' discovered in Australia? It has long been known that lu Tasmania there are eucalypti measuring 7.00 feet from thu ground to tbe first branch, uud mors than 3o0 feel in total heigh ; nnd tberd is, or lately was, on Mount Wellington, near Ilobarttown, a tree of this species, the truck of which was eighty-six feet iu circumference- But a still more glgantlo monarch of tbn woods has boeu ricinliy discov red in Victoria. It is a well pro. portioned hpecluieu of tbe eucalyptus amgdalina, and Its top is m-artr tbe sky tbuu the cioaaol St. Paul's cathedral for it is no less tbuu 130 feet above the grouud. 1 Ate Some Soft-Shelled Crabs." This is what Captain Hodgde n said when sneakineofsn unpleasant experience bo had on board ship near Washington. II added: "The bad ellecls of which I soon fell." Then be went on lo say lhal he had severe pain, followed by a terrible attack of dysentery. Those wicked crabs would have been tha dealh of him but for the fact that ha always carried Pais Kii-lss'Oii board his vessel. Have Psskt Davis's Pais Kills at band by day sad by night fur sure relief. Can the policeman who chases aud catches a Cbliurc .criminal bs said to be the Aaiatio collarei? Washington onco speculated iu Mo hawk Valley, N. Y , laud, ns la shown by au old deed iu tbe library of Uorallo Seymour. Langtry says that bunas must go. Sbe proposes to comb her hair back Irnru her face, and so set the fashion ol bare foreheads once more. The most fashionable women now endeavor to make each ono of tbeir let ters in writing an inch iu length and correspondingly broad. The Democratic party has outgrown slatts. It adheres to policies aud prin ciples. Men are a secondary considera tion. Two Chicago gitls tested their abil ity to bold tbeir breath. O te of thsra could not begin breathing again when sbe wished to, and was with difficulty resuscitated. Wby not subscribe for the GutsoM AnrccATC, only $1 per annum?
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers